>> Speaker A: The coffee shop sold. Yeah, that's right. And then we. How much? They, like, force. They, like, force you to spend $100 there every year. Yeah, that's right. Get $100 credit. You had to buy. Use your loser kids get fricked. They had that. Cool. Uh, what was it? Like, a milkshake machine? Yeah, it was there for, like, a year. Like, it was like moo lattes or something like that. Yeah.
I don't remember what it was called. It was good, though. You just pick out your little thing, and they put it in the machine. Yet another corbin scam. I guarantee you, if you would have went in there, because I think it was in the. In the. I guarantee you, if they're like, hey, hit me one of the milkshakes. But then sling some coffee on top of it, they'd be like, oh, we can't do that. It's not authorized. Yeah, too much caffeine. 10:00 on a Friday night.
Mike didn't come down. Caffeine curfew here. Mike didn't come down. Gateway drug mixing up for vodka. Welcome to Corbin. Yes. Oh, man. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom. And this week, I am joined, uh, in my home restroom with. We're, uh, all in here with the door shut. Uh, I've got Austin Kent, former guest of the show. Austin Kent. Austin, how are you? I'm doing great. Great. Uh, and Gavin Lau. Gavin, how are you? Groovy. Groovy. Um, so
do your wives know that you're in here? Right? Like. No. Are they aware that this is something that was happening? No, mostly because I didn't tell her that. She just thinks we're hanging out. Yeah. Just in the bathroom. Yes. I'm happier than anything. So, you guys, I was trying to figure out the crux moment that our paths all crossed. Um, to my recollection, it was 2014. Now, I might be wrong on that, but, um, in that you all were roommates at Corbin.
Do you want to speak to, uh, your experience at Corbin or as roommates at Corbin in any way? Any comment I'd actually like to hear. Perfect. Well, we have probably two sides of it, because I think usually your second year roommate, usually you're pretty set on, like, all right, I know people at Corbin. These are my friends, stuff like that. But Austin and I weren't, like, friends. I wouldn't say we were acquaintances. We lived in the
same dorm, but we weren't friends. I'm trying to think of any interactions we may have had prior to being roommates, and none come to mind. Yeah. Well, who is your PG interactions for? Yeah, yeah, all r rated. Uh, who was your freshman year roommate? I wasn't naked a lot my freshman year. There it is. Um, who was my. What? Who was your freshman year roommate? My freshman year roommate was, um. I don't remember his name. Was it Mike? No, it was the guy with the short hair. He left after,
like, a year or two. I forget his name. The guy with the short. We like Jesse. No, I know his name. It's driving me nuts now. Um, we pretty much said, hey, what's up in the morning and good night at night. That was the extent of our interaction. What was his name? He. Guy with the short hair. Uh, I think he played. I don't know if he played basketball or not. He looked, like, kind of like me, but he had, like, really short buzz cut and was, like, not around very much. He was really nice, but
was it blankenship? No. That's what I was guessing. I was like, oh, I don't even. Awkward. It's fine. Anyways, he had a roommate that was forgettable, it sounds like. He didn't hang out with me and badly and Boardman and all of us. He didn't come to the Bible studies and Adam and all that stuff, so we didn't see him much. Right. He was kind of just out doing his thing. I think he was a, uh, Pge PvG. He's fornicating down. He got stuck in Davidson when there was no more room in, so
he stayed at the school. He just was like, hey, I'm moving out of here. Maybe. I don't know. But that would have been back when PBG was the only mixed dorm, so he's probably pretty bummed that there was not, like, a lot of boobs flopping. I don't know. He seemed like a nice guy. Uh, yeah. This is driving me nuts. I, like, want to pull out a yearbook now. I mean, one day, it'll all click into place. Knoxiger. That was his last name. Excuse me? His last name was
Dawson. Yeah, Dawson. Yeah. But I was only roommates with him for one semester, and then he started rooming with that Shane, and then he left, and then, uh. Wait, what? Who replaced him second semester? So I didn't know. He went through, like, two roommates. Had one year. See, this is. Who was the guy that, like, about daddy issues? Oh, man. You might have been the first one to last a full year. Gavin? Yeah. For me, he left, and then some other guy replaced him. I don't remember who he was, but
I remember he played League of Legends and he was. It's interesting how they all go missing, though. Yeah, it's a match made in heaven. League of Legends. We weren't, like, super close friends, though. We didn't talk much other than he played League of Legends with everyone else, and they're like, you need to play League of Legends. And that's why I started playing league. Oh, that's how you got going on it? Yeah. So how did he break it to you? Like, hey, we're not roommates anymore,
dude. I don't even remember. I don't remember at. I. I don't know. I don't reminisce about Corbin a whole lot. That's good. Yeah, there's a lot of things that dark chapter that are kind of just. I don't care to. Yeah, that's fair. I don't remember at all when he told me. I don't even know if he's the one who told me. It might have just been like, oh, I'm your new roommate. Dawson left type of thing. Dawson's gone. He's, like, super out of breath. I have removed him. He's got dirt all
over his hands. I've removed him permanently. You're with me now. Don't have to worry about him anymore. Yeah. And then. So you guys became roommates your sophomore year? Yes. Right. Because I was in need of a new roommate. And Austin was fun. No, but I remember I came and talked to you about. It wasn't just like, hey, man, I think I just casually brought it up like you'd sit at the computer, but I have no other options here.
I had originally wanted to be roommates with Kyle Boardman first semester because I knew that him and badly weren't going to be rooming because didn't he get married after freshman year? No. There was some reason that him and Boardman weren't going to be roommates. Everyone thought they were going to be, but then what did he end up doing? He ended up being in that. They were roommates. Were they roommates again? Yeah, I think they were not going to
be for some reason. And then me and him were talking about it, like, oh, yeah, let's be roommates. And then he changed his mind or something. They were back to being roommates again. They were in Adams hall, like, just down. So then I was like, well, that was who I was planning on being roommates with. Now I don't. Okay, so Travis, Chad and I were in the
townhouse during all that? Mhm. And then we got relocated to Davidson the second semester, and we got shoved in the room that was in the corner in between who? Boy? Um, badly and Boardman and, uh, Sien Fuegos and Reddiger, which. Here we are. How do you remember that? I don't remember who was in our hall sophomore year. There's trouble
in the high seas no matter how you cut it. Uh, uh. I just remember the basketball or the dweebs next to us next door, keeping in showers, uh, the baseball cronies, the six pack in the. I think. And I think Jay White and Kellen were on the other side of you. Because Kellen used to have. Or Jay White used to have us, like, screaming fits in the middle of the night or something. You remember that? He would, like, get his head off. Wasn't bagginst off next to us?
No, Sammy bags was in Balio because they did the, like, sophomore year. Oh, no, you're right. That would have been the next year. I don't know where bags was. He was either next to us or two doors down. Because I remember them doing that weird thing where they'd, like, go into his room at night and people would get abducted. Strange. I forgot about the screaming fits. Yeah. And you'd hear, uh, jy playing his guitar through the other
side. Yeah. Playing, uh, wonderwall, I think, though, basically, I think he's, like, doing music, like, legit now, maybe. Really? I think so. I think he's got, like, a band. He made it. The Jay white band. Isn't that what he called it? I don't know what it's called now. I remember him having something, like, shortly after. It's like a worship thing at first, but I think he does actual music stuff. I don't know. Good for him. Yeah. Ah, so speaking of weird things, like, you talked about
this abduction. There was other, um, weird occurrences that would happen in the dorms. Terry, um, we can talk about it if you want. I don't know. It's not technically therapy, but if it needs to be, it can be. But do you remember the pile that would happen in your bed often? No. You don't remember that? No, I don't remember that. I remember happening in your bed. It never happened. In Gavin, it never happened. I remember once, forcefully, against my will, on my bed. It never happened
where you say, usually I do not recall. Yeah, I do not recall. Who is, uh, Micah? Well, anyway, he'd be a guest for the eight. People aren't supposed to make sandwiches out of themselves. Yeah. Not with that many men involved. Not with that many men involved with that few clothes. Yeah, no, I know it didn't happen in my room because Chad and Travis, that ain't their thing. We didn't have sex. I want that to be for the record here. Hey, there's a lot of implications.
I did not have sexual relationship with those men. And the best part is, it's not even the most homosexual thing that happened at that school. So there you go. I do remember that that event would always come to a screeching halt when one person would all of a sudden enter the room. Yeah, the g. Yeah. Well, yes. Which radio did. Oh, my God. Which. That's a great help, dude.
I don't know, man. I was trying to remember the other day because I know the three of us were involved with that and Micah was involved with it, but I was trying so hard to remember if there was ever any others because there's so many questionable players that have come out of that school in the last 510 years. And I was just racking my brain of, like, were they ever involved? Are we going to have a me, too movement out of that room? I had a Corbin, uh. Talk to Gilbert about it. No,
I wasn't particularly. I did like to get air, though. That was my. Oh, yeah. I was more of a solo man. Han solo. I'm doing the worm is basically, what, at the top bunk. On the top bunk with several other people in the room. Unironically. Yeah. It's all those diving practices, which you have that one diving video of you hitting your head on the board, which is. I've shown you that Bob Mennery clip or whatever. It's like fabriga, uh, the Olympics. You've seen that one? I think so, yeah. Where he,
like, he dubs over it, basically. That's what he does. Oh, yeah. And the dude completely, like, belly flops. I think I have seen that, actually. Yeah. Uh, I know you're talking about. That's basically like, we should dub over that. Oh, my God, I forgot about that. Funny dude. Yeah. Um, so you guys as roommates, though. So you've entered the roommate stage. Do you remember? I mean, we're almost ten years removed now, which is troubling sometimes. Think about.
I guess it's not ten. Maybe ten. Uh, do you guys remember any weird habits or roommate isms that each of you would have? I don't. I'm sure Gavin might also. Why is it that you don't remember any? I was checked out. Checked out. I was checked out. I was checked out. Dude, all I did sophomore year was literally just play league of legends and update my Pokemon card board outside my room. That was, like, the two things I
cared about. The first time I ever met Bailey, she was in the room for, like, 1015 minutes before I knew she was there, and I had to turn around and be like, oh, hi, there's a girl here. That's about how much I pay attention to the middle of a sexual joke. Also self aware. Yeah. Gavin saved my soul with Chuck. That was how we came together. It was good stuff. Uh, I do remember some good moments of arctic chill. Oh, dude. Remember arctic chill?
Yes, I remember arctic chill. Ah. I tried to bring that, carry that legacy on, but turns out women get colder. Have you tried arctic chill for Kelly? Uh, we sleep with a fan on, but we don't open the window. And do. I mean, arctic chill is. I still dream of that one because Anna's a hard no on arctic chill. I've tried as well. Kelly gets really cold easily, but gets really hot after she falls asleep. Like, her body temperature gets, like, insanely high. It's weird. Yeah. I don't know
more, you know? But arctic chill was amazing. Yeah. And I think I started that. I think I discovered that the year before. Whatever. But I realized, I mean, uh, there is some science to it that you sleep better because now they sell those things that cool your bed down, and you have to pay. Like, they have sheets that do it. So we were doing the discount version of it where basically you throw a cyclone fan in the window and just blast when it's, like, 30 degrees outside.
So the room is a brisk 40 when you go. Icicles forming in the room. But that was one of the reasons that I stumbled into your room, because Chad and Travis were both from California, and it's, like, 1000 degrees, and they would jack the floor heaters up in our room to, like, 80, and I would just be miserable because I'm not from that. And I walk down the hall, and I can feel the ICE box just move into the hall. What are these guys doing in
here? Come on in. Yeah. I want to say, you probably spent probably, like, darn near half your nights by the end of the year. Oh, yeah. In our room on that couch. I halfway lived on that couch. I remember us playing one time. I don't know how it started or what the think it was, but we played, like, risk on the floor of our room. Do you remember that? Until, like, one in the morning or something like that. I don't remember. We had the whole board game out. We
were like, you like risk? It's a fun game. I don't remember why we were playing it, but that was kind of fun. I just remember that I don't even like risk. That and just watching shows. Chuck shows. Chuck. Yeah, and that 70 show. Oh, yes. Was that your first time watching through the office? Did we ever get through the office? I have still never watched all the way through the office. Maybe I tried. I'm pretty sure that I've seen every episode of the office,
maybe even more than once, but not. But not in order. Not in order chronologically. I've been around, like, five or six people who have all watched all the way through it, and it's just been on so many times. What are you doing? Much of it. That's a fun fact. You can lead with that when you're doing things like never have I ever. Or something like that. Yeah. Never have I ever watched the office in
chronological order. I sat through, like, a couple of seasons in chronological order, but never, like, from start to finish. I've either come in on someone as they were already watching or started it and then not finished. Uh, yeah, but Chuck for sure has, like, a. That's, like, forever imprinted Chuck and subway afterwards. Do you remember your grandma would send you those subway gift cards? You would redeem them for league coins.
I don't know why, but for some reason. Yeah. League of Legends had this thing where you could turn in subway gift cards as if there were money. It's the subway, Chuck. Uh, League of Legends funnel. They just moved the money down the line. Yeah, by some CEO for whoever makes league. And it's with Chuck. Something like that. We got to get him going. I actually just watched through Chuck again recently with my wife. She's never seen it. Casey. She liked it, though. We watched it right before we
moved, like, around Christmas. It's awesome. It's a feel good show. Yeah. And then that 70s show definitely aged. Has it aged pretty, like. I wouldn't say it aged poorly, but anything that uses, like, CGI or anything is, like, whoa, yikes. And they're, like, using cell phones that have, like, flips and stuff. Oh, yeah. From the early two dude at the high school. And you might run into this with your job. Um, are you still doing the same thing? Perfect. I send them your way. Yes, but
they don't understand. Phones are not computers. They genuinely think all phones are, like, tablets. They don't get it. Um, they don't make, really, phones that aren't anymore. I mean, they probably make little track phones for people who want to commit crimes. But, Duke, no track phones have data. Yeah, the pay as you go. How many pay as you goes? Do you come by in a week or. Uh, they're 911 only. Phones too. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, all the time.
Yeah. You just got a bag of them that you just collect them? Yeah, I mean, I swear, some people I interact with have more cell phones than I've ever seen somebody. Yeah. Uh, we do that for vapes at the high school. We get us, like, ziplocs full of vapes by the end of the week. Like, little USB looking ones. All sorts of them. I mean, some of these kids got their rigs. I'm like, too, your dad got to get your fixed. There's no way that's yours. Oh, right. Yeah, they have them for
dad, and then it's like, well, sorry, bud. That's crazy. Yeah, he's like, brock it now, defeated there. You need to show your dad that video. I need to show my dad? Yeah, you need to show Craig the video, uh, of Ashley and Brock's wife. I don't know. Wife, 14. In the show or something. Brock? Yeah. No, I think he's an adult. Is he? Yeah, he owns a gym. He's only a little bit older than ash, and he. No way. No way. He's, like, 20, dude. And that's weird. He's a 20 year old who
wanders. That was why the whole show was weird. No, there's more than one reason why the whole show was weird. Well, they killed Ash off. Like, he's done. I heard that. They moved on. They didn't kill him, but, like, moving on. New main character just straight up killed him off. That would have been funny. They didn't. It was the most lackluster thing I've ever seen in their life. It's like, yay, he won. He's the champion. All right, guys, we'll see you next season. Took him 30 years, but he
did it. Yeah, still ten. Anna and I watched all of those, and the fights were, like, an hour to an hour and a half for one fight. What do you mean? Like, ash versus whoever. There was two of them that each were, like, an hour and a half long. The battle. Yeah, it was, like, four episodes in a row. A single one battle. Uh, yes. What? Yep. Wow. They really, like, hammed it up. Did he have Charizard with him? No, it didn't count. It's not real.
Charizard's butt. Not my ash. Don't even. Charizard oh, Charizard watched and cheered him on. Yeah, he did fight a, uh. Uh, Gavin, have you had any new bathroom situations that have happened while on the force? Um, any poops in the car? Um, I, um, can't think of any more recent ones off the top of my. That's good right now. Yeah. Which is a good thing. Yeah, keep those numbers down. No, I mean, I've just had continually, like. It's not uncommon that you have people pee themselves.
Um, but usually there's enough of a well in the footwell back there that it doesn't leak forward towards the front. But, no, I haven't had any crazy explosions. Um, why is this thing got a footwell back there? You'll know. Swamp car. The only thing I can think of is, um, not too long ago, long story short, we were getting somebody out of a car, um, at gunpoint, and they got their hands up or whatever, and it was a female half and a male half. And when the female half
gets out, uh, where's the male? I don't know. One of them. They had their hands raised or whatever. So usually that kind of yanks up your shirt a little bit. You can see, like, their underwear, and there's a giant skid stain just right down the middle. And we're all just joking, right? Look at the skid stain. That's close as it gets. But that's so embarrassing. Which is why, I guess, more people need bidets in their life. Yeah, dude.
The problem with a bidet, though, is it gets significantly wet. A lot of water. Yeah. People think like, oh, if I use the bidet, I can cut out toilet paper. But you use just about as much toilet paper drying it off. Unless you've got a sticky thing going on back there. But, like, a sticky. That's not me, dude. Mine's liquid every time. 100%. Um, your poop is liquid? Well, it's not liquid, but it's not a job to deal with. Uh,
some people. I don't know who. There's a comedian, he talks about the marker where you just keep wiping, and it's just like, you wipe and wipe and wipe, and it just keeps going. Mhm. The bidet will solve that. M because it'll just blast it all out. But is that parks and rec? I think that's Andy. He's, like, at the doctor's office. It's like a marker back there. It'll solve that. But it's pretty wet. You got to use eight squares at least to get it fully dry, I think. M it's not a whole lot, is
it? I don't know. To me, it's two wipes of four. That's his standard. Yeah. So normally when I wipe, I do three squares. That's all you need. It depends on what you're doing. Looks like you're dealing with it. Looks like a nice, solid signature. They haven't invented, uh, bidets yet that do, like, a hand warming blow type of thing afterwards. Those. Oh, like an air. Oh, yeah, I think they do, yeah. Japan's gotta have them, like, I'm sure. Nice.
Yeah. Have you seen those? I don't know if they're like, I see something on social media. I don't know if it's real or not, but it's like a bathroom. You saw it on TikTok, but it was like a bathroom in public. I'm assuming in Japan is where they do this stuff, but it was one way glass, and so it's like you were pooping, and you could see everybody walking around outside, around you, but they couldn't see in.
I'm a big fan of that. Felt like you were. That's a lot of power. Like, it's just sitting there in the middle of a street corner, like, taking a poop, and everyone could feel that way. Yeah. So the thing is, here's the problem with that, is some of those one way, if you get close enough, you can still. I don't know if it was real. I just saw some of them are electronic.
Uh, churches have this. Some churches have this now for breastfeeding and stuff, but it has an electronic thing where you hit the button and the shade activates in the glass fog. Yeah, we have those at McLaren. Yeah. And you can turn it off and it sees through. And I would be worried if I was, like, getting brave and taking a dump or power goes out, and now it's just, hello, you got your berries hanging out. Wait, how do they implement those at your job? Uh,
um. They're remodeling all the units right now, and our unit hasn't gotten it yet, but a lot of the bathrooms have. There's different kinds of units. They've always had them over in the mental health units, because at nighttime, the way their units set up is they have one graveyard person, and they're all in individual rooms. So when they have to go to the
bathroom, they don't have toilets in their room. So they have to unlock their door electronically, let them out, and they go to the bathroom, then they go back to their room, close the door, but while they're in the bathroom, you can't physically walk out there to watch them. And so there's a little thing in the office that the wall is shared. The office is on one side, and the bathroom is on the other. And there's a window
that. It's like two pieces of glass, and then in the middle, it releases, like a fog. So you flip a switch, and the fog just goes away. And you can see almost immediately right inside. Literally, the fog, it's something. I don't know, it's like a gas or what it is to me. If you've ever seen that glass that almost looks not textured. I don't know what the right word fog is. Right. But, uh. Oh, man. Sometimes shower, like, showers have it. You can't see
through it, but you can see, like, vague. It's like there's something. Temperature or air pressure, something translucent makes it. Yeah, but comes and goes with it. It's weird. Yeah, it's strange. So you guys have literally a potty office that you're. Oh, let's go. Kids do. Our bathrooms don't have that. You said you have an officer that controls the potty who gets to go? Um, their units do. Our unit doesn't. Um, but the more secure units do. Yeah. All the doors are electronic
on those units. The high security prison pocket units. Yeah. Uh, doors are loud. Our units just have, like, just a dorm. And they have a bathroom in there. Yeah. You don't have to do anything. Yeah, it's strange. It's kind of cool. I've never seen that kind of doing upper deckers. What? Kids ever try any, like, upper deckers or pranks on anybody there? What do you mean, upper decker? Oh, for real? Yeah. Oh, you take a crap in the top part of the toilet.
Uh, I've never seen that. I mean, it's their toilet, so I wouldn't really care if they did. All right. They have weird rules about certain things. There's certain things that they have, like a code that you don't do. Gang signs pooping in the community toilet is probably one of them. Here's something actually I was curious about. Stabbed. The food that's eaten there, is it made by the kids or by other people? It's prepared by the
kitchen staff. I don't know who makes it, so it's not made by makes it, but there are kids who get hired who can go work in the kitchen. It's overseen by staff. Airmark, though? Uh, I have no idea. Do you get free meals when you're there? Yeah, that's nice. See, that's a nice perk right there. It would be nice if the food was worth eating, but free food sometimes. I do eat there sometimes, but it's hit or pretty hit. They don't even let us eat any lunch at the
school. They're just like, no. For whatever reason, their dinners are terrible. Usually, uh, every once in a while, their lunches are usually actually pretty stellar. They have, like, spaghetti, and it's good. Oh, shit. For the most part, it's, like, really good. Wow. But for whatever reason, dinner is always, like, undercooked tater tots. Disgusting pizza that I refuse to eat. You take that pizza and just squish it on the tater tot and let it. No,
you need more creativity. I. To make their pizza is worse than airmark pizza, probably. Yeah. Depends on the level of airmark you get, though. That's true, because we all learned that the prison down the road had a higher level at one point. I don't know if they still do, but, uh, there were people who confirmed that, and I'm like, okay, thanks for that. Got to commit some crime. Good grub. Yeah. I mean, you could commit a crime at corn, but it did nothing. Yeah. Didn't care. It's fine. Yeah.
Grades, baby. Just get suspended for a couple of days, become a project. Okay. Yes. That one didn't age well either. Yes. He's like, well, I'm not recording. I want a recording. Hey, listen, they're on a registry. At this point, it's public information. It, uh, is. It's. My opinion of it, it's just a surprising for how small of a school of that. How many people ended up on registry. Yeah. Per capita, that we know that ratio. That we know that we know. You're right.
Okay. It's impossible that that is. As often as it happened. Yeah, it is pretty world's record. Yeah. Corbin. There's always, I don't know, something. They don't put that in the student hands up thing when they're like, come to Corbin. Fun fact. Fun fact. Our student to faculty ratio is 20 to one, Corbin. It just has that. Your chance of becoming a registered sex offender.
It always had that feel that there was some kind of giant conspiracy that I would not even be 100% surprised if we found out there was, like, a giant sex trafficking ring that would help take tunnels. I would be like, oh, that's really sad. But did we see it coming? Kind of. And they just told you it was a TV hospital back in the day just to be like, oh, that's why there's tunnels underground here.
Yeah. That's why they still work. That's why I still hear female voices crying out from underneath. Yeah. Do you remember, though, the, uh, go to the water tower, the dorm schedule, the chore schedule? No, because we didn't follow it. Whoever's idea that was was. You know how you're going to be in debt for the rest of forever? Uh, well, it doesn't include your cleaning. I'm guessing they were running out. What the heck? Yeah. That's why I was like,
uh. This, uh, is not right. You come out of tuition? No, because it's one thing to clean your own room, but that chore thing was like, let's do the hallway, too, kids. Like, let's vacuum the whole place. And it was like, okay, yeah. Are you going to give us a discount on room and board, or. You don't have janitors? My thing is like, hire one of these students to be a janitor. Yeah. Because there's countless people that went to school
there that would have been like, heck, yeah. That's a campus job right there. Yeah. Besides, the guy was really nice, too. I think his name was Scott. Yes. He's like, a christian influencer online now. It's funny. I mean, it's not funny. Well, check that out. Yeah. He makes little mini devotionals while he walks. Does he still work there? I have no idea. I have no, uh. I don't know. Other than some of the teaching staff, I don't know a lot of the people that work there anymore.
Do you know Lauren Culkins? Lauren Culkins? Yeah. Is that like, he's a. Don't. I don't know, to be honest. But he's an adjunct professor at Corbin. I was wondering if, you know. Yeah, uh, I had him as a professor at. I don't remember, what, four? He's kind of an older guy. He has a mustache and, uh, a beard. I didn't realize it until he retired from McLaren, because he was a program
director at McLaren. Interesting. And I was like. Every time I saw him, I was like, this guy looks so familiar, but he's a super nice guy. Like, super cool. But he retired recently from McLaren, and it wasn't until he left that it clicked in my brain. I was like, oh, my God. Because I was like, is he just retiring? And someone's like, well, no, he's still an adject professor at Corbin. But I was like, that's where I know him from. And so I was like, oh, wow.
Okay. He probably did because I had him in the class and he always kind of acted like he knew me, even though we didn't interact much at the school. And I feel bad now because I probably, um, remember, I think I had him for like, maybe he's like your guardian angel. I don't remember. It's pretty good theology. He's a cool guy, though. But I just didn't know if you knew him or not. No, I know Culkin's hall. I don't know if it's named after him. Maybe
like his dad. They don't usually build things in people's names until after they die. Or if you give enough money. Or if you give enough money. That is more where it comes from. That's more accurate. Yes. You gave less than six figure. You get a bench, you get a memorial plaque next to the disc golf that we took out and put it down the hill where nobody wants to play. Oh, they took that out? Yeah, it's down by the townhouses now.
Uh, it used to be like through the campus. That's actually kind of a great feature of the campus, that it's like, hey, not only while you walk into class, you have to dodge 80 mph. That could. Do you know why they moved it? Part of the reason why. Was there an incident? I chucked a frisbee through Balio's window. I was there. I was there. Yeah. Uh, all the Ras were out of town on some retreat.
And I'm like calling them and I'm calling campus safety and I'm calling all these people like, hey, I broke a window and nobody answers. And I'm like, you know what? I'm done. Did the first week stay in there or did it. Oh, yeah. I was like. It was like chalking it up to a loss there. This poor girl just now has a hole in her room. It was over a summer break or Christmas break. No, this was
like during the school year. It was on a weekend, it was like a Friday, and they were doing like an RA retreat for the weekend. It's really smart. You take all of. But in the middle of the school year. Yeah. So there are other people around. Yeah. And it happened to go the room of a person who was at the retreat? No, it was just some girl's room, but she wasn't in the room when it happened. But I can't go up there and it's like, not my dorm. Crazy. I've got a wiener. Christianity.
Does corbin care about that? No. If you say you're a woman, are you allowed to just go in there, maybe. Someone's got to be the first to try. Yeah. Any rainbow, uh, flags at Corbin, maybe? Me, too, at Corbin. Me, too. At Corbin. That was a real thing. Let's stand in solidarity. You know what I'm saying? It was a real thing based on a fake thing based on a real thing.
One day there's going to be just, like, a picture of that, too, at Corbin thing that gets out, and it's just going to be superimposed with all of the nonsense that we've heard of. Oh, boy. Didn't they have some, um, up on a whiteboard in the coffee shop, and you edited some of them or something like that? Oh, yeah. You could share your story. Yeah. Me, maybe somebody goof with people's stuff. It sounds like a Reddiger movie goofed. Oh, man. Yeah. Uh. I miss that guy. Good people. Yeah.
Uh, I think they're back. That's exciting. Watch my son tear in here. Oh, my gosh. Someone was in my room. Did you guys being roommates help you prepare in any way for being married? Not in, like, a. You know, but, like, uh. I don't. Subconsciously, maybe I was preparing. I was grooming us in the whole mean, I guess, other than I think just the whole grooming anyways, prepares you for living with another person. I think it's what pushed Gavin to, uh, ask the question.
This is not my life. I cannot live with other. You went to live at the church, and he probably saw that went, oh, yeah, I lived in three different houses before I got married. With dudes. Yeah. And you had that one guy, and I still felt like I wasn't. Not. I wouldn't say they didn't prepare me, but I didn't do what I needed to do when I lived at those houses. Well, it's a different type. When I got married, I actually did the dishes, vacuumed and clean things. I did not do that when
we were just doing our whatever. So I would say probably not. It gave you an opportunity to get all the kinks out of the system, you know what I'm saying? I guess, yeah. I think I did get a lot of things out that I watched those first couple of years of not having parents watching over you all the time. There's a lot of things you do that are stupid that, uh. Yeah. All right. Nothing says Bible school like that. We used to make jokes about the old moral compass, remember?
He'd be like, secular Seth. Oh, pray for Seth. 2012. He's married now. He's, like, wed. He's wed. Yeah. He'd do his, like, movie reviews. Remember he'd, like, argue with you or somebody about a movie? Yeah. I love Seth. He, uh. Because I would be, like, looking into it. Because sometimes you just got to watch a movie for fun, you know what I'm saying? I was like, yeah, it is fun to think about trying to get everybody to watch. It was like, the nation. What was it? Memento that of,
uh, people, kids of no nation or something like that. It's something like that, dude, you got to watch or whatever. He's like, no, it's like the third. Remember when we all piled into seeing Fuegos's room and watched, uh, clockwork orange? Were you there for that? Oh, yeah. Not knowing what we're getting into. I came in, like, halfway through, you be glad. And I was like, what the heck is this? Because five minutes in, it's pretty randy. Wow. Yeah. I was like, oh, and
it's just a bunch of guys sitting there watching this. It's like, just quiet. Gary's got his pants down. Oh, shoot. I do remember, though, uh, there was, like, horror night, and we'd go. Horror night and we'd go play scary games. Yeah. Like fright night or something. Fright night, yeah. And remember there was, uh, the slender man game. It was like a playable trailer for some other silence of the lambs or silent hill or something like that. I remember that one. It was a game that
never got, uh. It never got made. But they made a trailer. Yeah. And it was just like, that one was spooky. That's the one where you're, like, in the hospital, kind of. It was one where you farmhouse and you were, like, wandering around, but then there was, like, a time loop thing on it. I don't know. I don't remember. There's one that you're, like, in a hospital and you had to solve a puzzle or something, but they were like, those are the demerit things would, like, appear behind you,
like apparitions and stuff. It was like. It was spooky. There was all kinds of stuff like that. Yeah, I remember that. It's fun. Um, so, Austin, when you were on the show last, you spoke about your eye and, uh, the misfortune that happened to it. Uh, but what I want is, I want Gavin's perspective on the eye. Was that started the placenta, or can we work our way back? I think that was after we were roommates. Yeah. But we were still very much involved. We were very involved in
your life. Yes. Uh, what was your favorite part of all that? Not to, like, I think it was, uh, just watching things unravel further. Because it started off with, he's like, hey, man, like, your eyes look kind of red. He's like, yeah. What was it? Oh, you tap water, right? You put your. And as a fellow contact user, I was like, ooh, that's not going to be a good ending bad move. Yeah. Because I think there's been, like, one time, I think, in a pinch, that I went somewhere and I
forgot contact solution that. And I have put them in tap water before, and I know how bad that felt forever, but I think you did it for. It was like a week or two. Week or two? Yeah, it was bad. Yeah. Um, I think it was like, all right, well, that's not good. And did you power through it at one point? I remember you saying the sentence, I figure my eye makes its own liquid, so I left them in overnight. I remember you doing that once. I've definitely slept with them in
before. That was what it was. Usually it's on accident, but there have been a few times. Yeah, it was like I had no money, and I was, like, going home for Christmas break in, like, two weeks or three weeks, and I was trying to make this little bit of contact solution stretch before I could get my parents to get me some at home, but it ran out, and I was like, dude, it was such a weird time to think back and be like, I just remember, like, Chad, travis and I were in the townhouse.
We didn't have, like. And we didn't have airmark, and we would, like, make Mac and cheese with water, and it was animals. Yeah, but you look back and it's like, it's such a simple thing, like, contact solution milk. But it's just like, yeah, but adults. But, um, the money. Also have that slushy money. Yeah. So I get to 711. But I do remember we were pretty, like, go waste. We would joke about his old eye situation, stuff like that. But then I remember it got serious when one day he was
like, yes. So I got home from my appointment and doctor said I might lose my eye. Yeah. It was like, it was exactly like this. You laughing and I going, just getting help. I knew it was bad when you started wearing the eye patch. Like, that was when I went. I didn't even wear it for that long. I wore it for, like, maybe two weeks. And I was stupid, and I ditched it because Austin and I, we started taking some classes together, I
think. Yeah, we took classes together because I picked up some psychology stuff and, uh, we became associated that they're like, oh, okay. Those guys are like a pair. And then I remember when he wouldn't show up to class sometimes for a doctor's appointment, whatever. They're like, bud, where's your friend? And I'm like, my friend? And they're like, the guy with the eye patch, where's your friend? We were kind of like the one I'm looking after. He's my ward.
Parents died. Yeah, you got a lot of people. He's not very social. You might be at a doctor's appointment in Portland, or at your church, running the ministry, but not even being allowed to be called the person running the ministry. Free labor. Here he comes. We tried to talk you out of that so many times. We're like, dude, they are using you. And you'd be like, no, it's cool. I volunteered 35 hours this week. I didn't actually record any of my reach stuff till
the last semester of the last year. And I was like, I got, like, 6000 reach credits. That's right. The guy that probably had the most reach credits in Corbin history and just recorded. I wonder if that's still a thing. They, like, changed the rules, too. Killed it during COVID I bet that thing's done. It was the dumbest thing. Not a great model. I hated that forced
volunteerism breach. Yeah, it's like if you just instill in your students, become a part of a church, like, get involved a little bit in a church, it'll let things play out. That was interesting. But I do remember at one point you did have to put a placenta, uh, in the eye, which I think m he may have already talked about three times, but that was painful. One of the more painful things I've ever had after birth. We did join him,
though, on one of his appointments at the Portland. That's the first time I had chick fil a. Yes. Oh, that's right. Driving us in, the maniac with an eye patch on. Like, look at moody going up there. Why did we let you drive? I've been driving. I know, but one of us could have driven. Gas money. Gas money, gas power. Kelly actually went to my very last appointment there. That's crazy. I don't even think we were dating. I don't know. I don't remember if she did or
not. She went to your doctor's appointment. M. You were dating? I don't remember. Maybe she remember. I thought we drove past. This guy really needs someone. I had a conversation. I was like, look, I can't look after him any longer. That's a lot of responsibility. Have you ever. The next question is about the honey jar. I'm just going to let it put the tiger on the table and scream at it. Sure. Have you ever told Kelly about the honey jar? Like I said, you guys remember
that way better than I do, so. No, I haven't. I don't even remember the full details of it. Well, if I explained it, it would be the most explicit thing that was said on this podcast ever. I don't even remember. I remember something to do. Um, I remember exactly where we were. Something to do with a pastor. There it is. Yes. I think it was something sexual. Uh, and that's about all. Ah, my dad, huh? Oh, gosh.
I honestly don't remember even what it was about. You reference it a lot, and so I laugh about it, but I don't even really remember. Uh, it's, like, chiseled in my brain. It's like a key Austin moment for me. That and just the giant bowl of stupid noodles that, uh, you would just, like. You would eat this giant bowl of noodles so fast. What are they called? Like, power bowl? Yeah. They had
vacuum cleaner sucking up a blanket. It'd be like that and, like, a side of, like, potato salad and all these Arizona teas, and I would just like. And never forget about the little Caesar's trunk pizza. Oh, the trunk pizza. I do remember that. Hot and ready, 80 degrees outside, practically a microwave. He'd be coming out of class. He'd be like, oh, guys, I got to grab some pizza real quick, pop the trunk. And I was like, hey, dude, how long has that been back there? He's like, I don't know.
A day or two. Still good. Cold at night. Hey, man, that's not how refrigeration works. Yeah, I do remember that. You remember running, like, 5 miles and then downing, like, one or two of these Arizona teas and then laying on a classroom floor going, I don't remember what I did, but I do remember laying on the classroom floor. You were like, oh, yeah, 100oz of sugar. I remember one time I used
to work out before. I think it was freshman or sophomore year, I used to work out up at the gym, and then I would come down to eat dinner afterwards every single time. And so one time I worked out, and I was really thirsty, and I came down there, and I had probably, like, four glasses of chocolate milk. Just, like, downed a whole bunch of chocolate milk, and I felt, get your mouth. Chocolate milk was good, though. It was good, but it was crap. Not much of it. That was
what I learned, that. Yeah, you can't drink that much. Moderation, moderation. Moderation is key when you go kill that treadmill. I always remember his run. You don't go to the gym. And then I remember you go straight to the leg press. You feel like a beast on the leg press. You throw on, like, three or four plates. I tell you about the time I fell off the treadmill? Yeah. For whatever reason, there was a bunch of girls also running on the treadmill that were all
right there. And I was running, and my shoe came untied, and I literally just tripped on it and fell on the treadmill and jumped me off of it. Yeah. And everyone looked at me, and they're like, are you okay? I'm just like, oh, my lord. Yeah, that's fine. I completely fell off the treadmill one time. Total chad fell on everything. Tripped over something else, though. And they used to have them, like, overlooking the gym so that you look like
a creep if you're running. When they had the volleyball practice or m something. Uh, there's nothing to look at. There's no TV, nothing. Just, like, half naked girls playing volleyball. Uh, welcome to Bible. Just trying to get in shape so I could down this chocolate milk real quick. Austin on the treadmill drinking his chocolate milk. Oh, my gosh. Uh, no water. Like. No. Are you still against water? No, actually, this year, I've been getting a lot better drinking water.
Good. Yeah. I mean, I still don't like it, but you got to do it for the kiddo legacy. I still don't drink a lot. I'm still pretty bad, but I'm getting better. Yeah. Hey, that's all anybody can do is try to do better. Huh? It's easier for me to drink it if it's bottled for some reason. I don't know what it is. Did you know what bottled me? I can drink it through a straw. There's something I hate. Oh, I'll go to Taco Bell, and I'll just get a glass of ICE
water. Really? Yeah, just get. Just. Can I get a large ICE water? Something about Taco Bell's cup is perfect. Uh, yeah, I'm, like, super particular about, too. If I'm drinking water just to drink water, it has to be at room temperature, and it has to be in a bottle. But if I'm drinking it with a meal, it has to be on ICE. Okay. It can't have a straw, so you got a process that's good. It's really weird. Hey, that's fine. Um, so something that I didn't ask you guys that has come
up in a round of questioning. Um, when you guys take showers, do you guys ever have a snack in the shower or a drink in the shower? I've never ate something in the shower. Never try that because that seems like stuff would get wet. I feel like if I was going to eat something in the shower, I could eat, like, fruit or something. Yeah, like an orange. Is it an apple? Never done that on an animal. Have you done that? It's a visceral experience. I think you would love it.
Eating fruit, like, really bitter. You get an orange and you peel it. You pre peel it, and then you, like, carry that. Okay. I thought you mean, like, peeling off the peel off, but then you just eat it like an apple. Oh, you don't try that, especially if it's cold. You peel the outside. Yeah, I get what you're saying. No, but then, like, the juices just go specifically in the shower. Yeah, or on the toilet. I mean, that's good too. Never done that. Really?
No, I don't think I've ever eaten anything in the shower. Yeah. Drank? No. Dude, you got to get yourself cold. Drink. I don't really like bringing things past the threshold of the bathroom door. So was this interesting for you? Um, no. I feel like we're, like, in an office almost now. No, I didn't really think about it. I lift one lid, and I can take crack. I also didn't come into this room with the intention of defecating, so I don't know.
But you could. I don't know. I don't like taking things I eat to where I poop or pee. Also, you don't like teeth brushing? Uh, yeah. Oh, sure. How's that going? Gotten better. I haven't been able to brush my daughter's teeth yet. Yeah, I haven't been able to be in. I haven't been able to be in the room with her brushing. I stopped off at the dollar store today. I got some fresh toothbrushes. It's like ASMR. But you want to brush my teeth before I have dinner? No, I don't. If anybody wants to,
those are for you. Austin, if you want, we can brush our teeth together today if you want. Yeah, we got a three pack. It's a three way. Uh, I wonder where that comes from. Yeah, or what comes from. Are you cool with Kelly brushing her teeth in front of you? Yeah, I've gotten there. I'm okay with her being in the room when I'm brushing my teeth, which was hard at first, but now I'm okay with that.
There's sometimes where as long as I'm focused on something else, like if I'm in the shower or whatever, I don't mind now if she's brushing her teeth in front of me, but I'm not just going to stand in there if she's brushing her teeth. I don't know, it's just a weird. Yeah, it doesn't bug me as much as it used to, but. Do you like it when people eat jello and then they get the jello in their mouth? They kind of swish it around in their mouth where it just kind of becomes
liquid? Does that bug you? I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out, like, oh, no, it's a thing. I don't think so. It is a distinct feeling. Yeah, I was just, like, trying to figure out. It doesn't really bug me now. I don't think so. What about mouthwash? Does that freak you out? I love mouthwash. No, but if I mouthwashed right now, uh, I don't think it would. It's more the gargling. I think it's just the saliva aspect. I hate how it gets, like,
frothy and nasty. Do you have to see the kids that you work with brush their teeth? Uh, sometimes, yeah. Do you squeal, scream? No signs? No way I'm letting anyone there know. That's why you mistakenly let us know. I have actually had to hold back a gag a couple of times. Like, kids who. Because they'll just brush their teeth and they just spit in trash cans. Like, they'll just be out in the middle of the
dayroom just brushing the teeth. We used to do that, and I'll literally be sitting there trying not to gag and make corbin. That's so gross. Spitting in trash cans is so gross. And kids do it all the time, but it's fine. It's not fine. Oh, man. So I meant that you interacted with somebody's, uh, chewing tobacco. I bet that would probably. I mean, I just dude tobacco in general, because they always have the spitter can. Yeah. That's disgusting. It's always, like, a gatorade
bottle, too. We have a guy who chews, like, sunflower seeds on our unit, like a staff, and I've definitely reached for a cup and then found that it was full of spit. That shouldn't be accessible to other people, though. That's on him. Well, it's in the staff office, but still just like, no, he'll be, like, on top of the fridge. I'm like, oh, there's a cup. I'll use that. That. No, beyond his person. Is it like a disposable cup or something? Yeah, it's like a paper one,
but still, it's disgusting. That's gross. Have either of you ever eaten deodorant? No. Noted. I, uh, mean, I never would. Some of it's all natural, so it's, like, safe. You're going to eat deodorant. Am I? You, um, said you can eat it. Yeah, some of it. What did you. My wife just outed me from the other side of the door. Uh, okay, so my thought process was actually the sticks right behind you. Poop is all natural. Yeah, but bear with me. Bear with me. Poop is bad
smelling, generally. Okay, that's fair. And the deodorant, I mean, you can grab. It's right behind you. That's true. It's right there. Delicious. It's toasted. You don't smell it. You can read it. Uh, toasted marshmallow vanilla. That does sound kind of good. Yeah, that sounds like a combo that I want to try. No, it turns to, like, nothing, and then is like, you just ate just a block of febreze in your mouth. Whoa. It's so terrible. Like,
dissolved. Yeah. I guess that makes sense, though, because when you put it on, it kind of like, I don't know, absorbs. I was expecting it to be almost flavorless. Kind of like wax. It was awful. So it didn't have any good flavor? No flavor. Like, I don't know how it smells so good. Yeah, because weird and tastes so bad. That is weird. Right? So that was my thought process, was it smells great. I love marshmallows. Like, they're great. Yeah. Never been more betrayed. Um, and then, so
a question for you, Austin. Um, have you had any diaper troubles in the world of diapering? No, not really. Yeah. No. Well, just wait. What do you mean by m diaper? Well, like, leaks. Blowout. Blowout. Yeah. Perfect. Just change it. Yeah, but poop doesn't bother me that much. Uh, good. When I was a caregiver, for, like, a year, I had to clean adult diapers. Oh, that's right. Sometimes on a daily basis, I got pretty desensitized. Oh, yeah. That's 1000 times worse. I
don't mind it. Vomit is 100 times worse. Oh, really? I hate vomit. Yeah, me and my wife both, we'll change poopy diapers all day. But vomit is disgusting. I don't mind, like, spit up when they're babies. Yeah, that's different. Milk. When little kids vomit, it shoots. Yeah, we had projectile. Ruby, uh, got sick once with actual. When she had started eating actual food. Yeah. And it was pretty bad. It was really sad, though, because I didn't react the way I thought I would. I think I
was home alone with her. Kelly was gone, and she was really sick, and she was, like, really sad, and it was really sad. I think your parenting instinct kind of kicked in because it was all over me, and I didn't care. It is definitely a thing. Wow. Uh, yeah. Well, hey, good for you. Nothing on you yet, though. No poop on you. I mean, I've gotten on my. No. So, my daughter, when she was in diaper, and I was changing her, and she just, like, poo farted. Shotgun sprayed it, and it, like, here we
are. No, I, uh, don't think Ruby has pooped. Not in a diaper. No bathtubs. Not. That one's fun. Yeah. Loaders. And then. I don't know, at home. This is something I'm m curious about. Do you each lock your bathroom door when you're going to the bathroom? Is it like, hey, babe, you can come in, or is it like, no, this is my area right now. I don't lock it. No. I mean, if I'm somewhere else, I do, but at home, no. I have been getting better at this because this is actually,
like, a hot button issue. Oh, really? Not really. But it's like, one of her biggest pet peeves, because I lock every door behind me all the time. M I'm just used to it. Um, I think ever since the secure. The corbin scare. No. When grandma walked in on me. No, I think I've always just locked the door when I poop out of instinct. And then also, I lock every door behind me at work all day long, and so when I come in from
outside, I always lock the door. My wife will get mad because I'll be home, and the front door is locked because I locked it. But people could just walk into your house. Uh, and the same thing when I'm pooping, it's like, I don't know. We don't like being in the room when we were pooping with each other,
right. Sometimes you have to. Yeah. And so I try to consciously remember to leave it unlocked, because a lot of times, too, I'll poop, and I'll get in the shower, and I'll be in the shower in the door. Wait till Ruby's old enough. And my wife. Wait till Ruby's old enough to manipulate that handle. She can almost reach it. The barge in is regular. Yeah, she can almost reach it. I mean, it's right here, like. Dad. Dad. Like I said, I'm
surprised. I got to tell you something. Yeah, no, it's usually YouTube. Okay, just give me a minute. Um, yeah. Well, sweet. Guys. Do you guys have any bathroom wisdom you want to leave people with? Um. Uh, I don't know if I talked about this last time. Okay. Um, have I told you about splash guard? No. That sounds funny. Perfect. So, before you go and do your business. Yeah. Take off a couple of plies. Three. Yeah, lay them in there. Splash no more. Yeah, on top of the surface of the water. It's
like a little canopy. What? Hey, that's. Where'd you learn about life changing? I think just splash guard ingenuity. Yeah. You developed Gavin adventure. Patent pending. So what's nice about it, though? Um, so if you go somewhere that, like, if you're out in public and you go somewhere that has seat covers. Yeah. Built in splash guard. So you take out two. I'm going to throw one in, lie to you. I got to confess, I don't understand those things. You never get
them on, right? Yeah, I put them on backwards every time I think. Uh, so there's the three tabs you got to take off. You got to rip those. But if you rip it too crazy, the whole thing is done. That's what happens to me. I haven't wanted to use one of those in years. My thing is, like, if I'm robberies it raw dogs, it doesn't feel as good when you use the paper. Yeah, but, uh, you could just lay some toilet paper down on it. He's going to wrap the dog in the paper before he goes.
That's how the toilet paper got in the honey jar. And we might have talked about this last time. When you do it, do you open the open end? You know how there's one end that. It's like a U. Does that part go in front of you or behind? I always thought it goes in front. I could not for the life of me m. I couldn't tell you. I don't know. So there's the three points first connected. So you disconnect those ones, and then the flap is going to hang down where the flap is hanging down where it's
attached to it. Uh, that goes towards the back. I put it in the front. You put the front front. Because you're going to get some backspray. Yeah. But that's the way it pulls out. My brain doesn't work that way. I usually just rip the whole thing off. I don't have a thing hanging in. Regardless, if you're going to use it for its intended purpose, next time you're in a public restroom, take one out. Don't even do anything else. Just throw it in there. That's a good
idea. I've used it as emergency toilet paper. I've had to do that. We're going to do this. Uh, man, it's like a cookie sheet. Yeah. Non efficient. You have to use like 20 and you have to flush a couple more times too because it's like, yeah, that'll clog a toilet. Mhm. Piss. I don't think I've ever done that. Yeah, it works better than your sock. I've definitely never done that. You've never used your sock? No. Not even like camping? What's
the weirdest thing you wiped your butt with? I don't think I've ever wiped my butt with anything but toilet paper. Really? Wow. Really? Where's the 21st century? What do you guys. I've definitely used the newspaper. Not abnormal. I've definitely used the newspaper. A newspaper. Okay, that's true. I've ran out of toilet paper and used, okay, I've used, uh, tissue paper is usually the first thing, like if we have face tissue. So we already found a. Have you ever
used a piece of clothing? No, probably the worst thing I've ever used is just like paper towel. That's like when you have nothing else. We're talking name Brand, actually brawny as an alternative to a bidet. Uh, baby wipes work pretty nicely. Can't flush them though. Dude, people flush those things. My wife's told me, she's like, you can't flush that. But I had nothing else. And I was like, all right. They did work great. It cleans really nicely. I got a buddy in Salem, he's like, I'm two
dude wipes and I'm done. Every time. He carries a package of dude wipes with him in his. Everywhere. Yeah, and you can flush those. They say you can, but it's kind of like flushing like tampons. It's like, yeah, maybe, uh, not. What's the difference between flushing things like that and just toilet paper? Is it toilet paper? Toilet paper breaks up, it dissolves and I think it's worse if you're on it. Depends if you're on a septic. If you're on a septic, then you're probably totaled.
Yeah, I'm not going to flush anything, but. Yeah. Uh, we just mostly. Are you on septic out in, uh, Dallas? I don't actually know. You'd know if you have a sewage pill then. Did you pay water and sewer? Yeah. Then you're probably hooked to city. Okay, that's good. Yeah. Then if it all explodes, it's on them. That's so true. Uh, I have some
friends out in Lebanon. Their thing went reverso into their bedroom and they paid for them to remodel the floor and they put them up in a hotel for a month while we did it all because that'd be like homeowners insurance. Yeah, well, the city had the. They were liable. Oh. It happened to fault, um, underneath in the city line, and it backed up into their house. That's disgusting. Yeah, that is disgusting. Yeah. Well, you
remember connections. Yeah. You remember that lobby downstairs before you get to the. Yeah, that was all poop one day. Have I not shown you this picture inside? Like, right when you walk in? No, in the other building where that coffee room was downstairs. Oh, like when kids would kind of play down there a little bit. Yeah, that was all poop. The septic. I've never showed you this. I didn't know. I will show you this. That's disgusting. In moments. That's crazy. Yeah. Wow. I stepped today.
I went in to do janitorial and it was dark, and I stepped and I could smell it. I was like, oh, there's something. Stepping on slimy things in the dark is one of the worst. It was like wet carpet twish. And it smelled so bad, when I opened the door, I was like, oh, there's something not right. And I turned the light on and I actually saw it and I just called Christy and I was like, I don't have the equipment. This is above my pig ring. Yeah. I was like, this is hazmat.
People from monsters incline. We got 20 319. They hired it out. It was so bad. Yeah. And that place was. Sounds rough. Very cheap. They didn't hire nothing out. Anyway. Austin, any bathroom wisdom? I think of anything outside of. Yeah, basic stuff. Yeah. Sounds like you had the baby wipes idea. Yeah, the baby wipes is good. Yeah, definitely. If I was pooping outside, I think that would be my go to. Like, if I was camping and didn't have an actual toilet. I think baby wipes would
be a great alternative. Toilet paper. Oh, yeah, sure. Especially because you can't shower. Yeah, but, man. Yeah. Camping, not as fun as I remembered it being as a kid. It's a lot of work, too. It's a lot of work. I will say we just took the kids for the first time on the family camp trip. It's got to be more fun with kids, though, now that they're old enough to run around and not die at everything. It's a good time. Okay, so I found it. This is that floor. Oh, my
gosh. That is so gross. Yeah, and you can see it's out on the carpet. Dude, that was the shot. There's a person in the world whose job is to just fix this stuff. That's what I walked in on, though, dog. It was a ceiling because it, like. And went boom. And I was like, yeah, it, man. Uh, yeah. Wonder what sound that made, too. That wet toilet paper just. Could you imagine sitting on the toilet? And that's when it's opposite day. Talk about an enema. Yeah. Uh, you'd get so sick. Yeah.
You'd have something like Pepsi. You'd have, like, ptsd every time you go to the bathroom. Or, like, have you seen those? I did. When snakes come out of the toilet and rats and stuff like that. That ain't it. No, I can't deal with that. I'm pooping a bag for the rest of my life. Uh oh. Also, if you're ever camping and you're, like, these little, like, yak sacks, I mean, you just stick it back there and just twist it off. Trash can. Those look similar to
the bags. Put, like, the diapers in, like, the diapers. Yeah. Diaper genie bag. They're similar. Anyway, well, sweet. I'm going to do the shameful clothes and then get out of here and find some food. This has been another episode of Privy. Thank you for listening. Thank you guys for being here. Um, you can follow the show. Go do. Do that. Uh, say hi. Do whatever. Let's get to it. This has been another episode of
Privy. Don't forget to wash your butthole. Thanks for listening. And now, as always, don't forget to flush. You got a really nest lit back there. Yeah.