>> Speaker A: But there's more opportunities to bomb your family with a blast of human processed bean air when you're just nominal things that are a little higher in fats and get more of the tummy juices flowing. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom. I'm your host, hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms. Well, welcome to the show.
I'm glad you're here. Uh, I had a moment this morning, um, actually, just minutes before the record, uh, where I had the thought to myself, you know, this is what I get for eating all that corn and the amount of beets that I ate. Glad m you're here. This week, we are looking at. We're taking another look at the backdoor air chute, the rear wind escape, the thunder from perhaps down under. We're going to be talking about
farts. Now, if you hear that and you go, well, that seems a little crass, like you're coming out pretty quick on farts here. I did open with a comment about the amount of corn and beets that I ate. We're just going to let it sit. But, yeah, uh, uh, we're talking about farts this week. This is episode like, I don't know, 75 or something. 72. I don't know, it's 70 something. If talking about farts is this much of a barrier, I'm sorry. Also, I want to note, and I want to share, um, and give
some explanation a ways back. Uh, listeners of the show, they might notice that, uh, privy switched over to, uh, an explicit marking on its podcasting platforms. Um, that was done after some consideration. Uh, I'm still going to try to promote as much of a family friendly show as I can. Um, but also noting that talking about farts and taking a poop and how that one time people shazzed themselves and actually died on this stuff is maybe not what everybody wants their kid to listen
to. And so I've decided to put the explicit content marker on there, mostly for the amount of bathroom poop and other related content that we discuss. And so I'll still do my best to keep it as family friendly as I can. Um, but we are talking about farts today, so here we go. And before we get into specifically what we are going to look at, we need to talk about the history of. No, I'm just kidding. Um, pretty much, if you want the history of farts, dude eats big bare leg in wilderness.
Babar eats big bare leg and gets big stinky butt gas. But no, we need to look at what makes a fart smell. The chemistry of a fart, if you will. This is one of those classic old kid toddler, I want to know about everything in this world questions. Dad, what makes a fart smell? I farted, and it smells bad. What makes it smell that way? It's an age old question. Uh, someone in the family rips an impressive beefer, and the room all of a sudden smells like the bathroom. And kids, they just latch
onto this. They're like, oh. And they think it's the funniest thing in the world as well, somehow. But if you don't know what a fart is, first of all, get out from under your rock. Also, uh, again, I don't know how a person could be listening to this and not know about and be cool with talking about farts from time to time, but if you didn't know when you eat your food, your tummy, that's where the
food goes. Um, since we're explaining this, has this habit of releasing little bits of gas and air as it's being digested. As the food is being broken down, bits of air and gas are released as kind of the process of your food breaking down. Now, there's probably, like, medical. Medical people don't listen to this. That's not the target audience here, but there's probably somebody in the sciences who's hearing this, and they're going, he does not understand a
fart. And that's okay. I'm not a scientist. I'm a youth pastor. I don't believe in science. Uh, but I don't know. So your food breaks down, and it produces air. Think, um, of your large intestine as, like a tube where as the food is broken down and moves through it, it becomes like one of those hoses in the cartoons that a character, like, clamps the end of, and it just keeps building up pressure, more and more pressure in the hose. That's kind of like what the fart does in your large intestine.
It continues to build up and work its way towards the end of the tube. And as you gulp down pizza and chug soda, all the air that enters your system via your mouth also gets involved in this tube of air, if you will. Well, kids, that air inside that tube, when it comes out, it's called a fart. Now, this might be a philosophical question. Here is a fart. A fart before it is farted? Like, what do you call a fart when it's still in your body? I would argue it's just called
air. The fart is the act of the air coming out of your boring holio. But what is a fart made of? Like, what's in it? Like, it stinks. So, like, why most of the air, like, most of the air that comes out of people, there is a good amount of carbon dioxide and hydrogen. But inside that wax smelling cloud is a, ah, gas called methane. Methane is stinky, but it gets even more stinky when these gases combine with others, like ammonia and hydrogen sulfide inside your tummy. The
result? Well, when you squelch the barking spider, it smells bad. Admittedly, some smell worse than others, and sometimes you rip a beefer and there is no smell. Now, there is a smell, but as we've talked about on a previous episode, we have smell bias and often don't think our own fart smells as bad as it does. But that's not the point. And just like there are things you can eat and drink to make your pea smell bad or make it kind of red
tinted, I'm looking at you, beets. There are things that are going to be more, how do we say, efficient at getting the toots flowing. Foods like beans, vegetables, meats, and foods high in fats. Fried foods are more likely to produce gas. Beans, beans, the musical fruit. Now, here's what I'm going to say. All these jokers who are throwing shade at me because I call a tomato a vegetable, I don't care about the science of the seed inside the flipping tomato. Bob, you're a vegetable, not a fruit.
Tomato is a vegetable just because it has seeds on the inside and it would be classified as a fruit. Do you put it in a fruit salad? No. Then guess what? It's a vegetable. Stop it. But these people out here. Beans, beans, the musical fruit. First of all, you got two options on a bean. The first, I'm pretty sure, is a vegetable. We're talking to green beans. And second, the one that is being referred to by this short adage
is a legume. So you tell me, bean, bean, the musical fruit people you want to yell at me about Bob the tomato being a fruit? Why don't you yell at yourself about beans not being one? You know what I'm saying? But beans, beans, the more musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you scoot. You know what I'm saying? You just
toot more when you eat these beans. There's not just beans, but there's more opportunities to bomb your family with a blast of human processed bean air when you're just nominal on things that are a little higher in fats and get more of the tummy juices flowing. Also, it should be said, I'm not a doctor. Can't
say that enough. But if you find foods that seem to get the gas moving and flowing more so than others, um, it could cause your tummy to hurt, but it could also increase your opportunity to squeak one out. And this could be a sign of an intolerance to some food or an early onset thing. Talk to your doctor. I'm not a doctor. Feel free to send me a message. I'm not going to tell you and give you medical
advice. Just go talk to your doctor about it. But note, everybody's different, and some things are going to get the toots flowing, and some are going to get them flowing in a different way than others. If I eat beef jerky and I fart, it smells exactly like beef jerky every time. I'm just saying. But there's increased opportunity to squeak one out. I also want to note, speaking of clinics and doctors, that mayo clinic, that's a website, not mayonnaise clinic. Um, could you imagine if
it was mayonnaise clinic? Is that a clinic for mayonnaise or a clinic that uses mayonnaise to help our lives? Mayonnaise ain't helping my life any. I think mayonnaise is absolutely disgusting. It's just default wet white. Like, there's nothing more white on this planet than mayonnaise, but it's also just wet, like it only exists to add wet to anything. Uh, this bloke put mayonnaise on a hot dog. That's just insanity to me. Like, you're just making it wet. I don't
know. I can't get over this stuff. I have too many opinions about things. But Mayo Clinic said, quote, farting is probably a sign that everything's working just right and you have a healthy tummy. That's their exact words, by the way. Um, I didn't change them at all. But the smell of a fart is a lot less crass to talk about than what makes a fart make sound. Now, you know the feeling. You're sitting in class or church or in the movie next to that cute person, and you
feel it. You get the tummy bubbles, liquid guts. You hold it and you hold it, and the pressure's building up. Remember that Tom and Jerry hose? Well, that's the inside of your tum tum. And you're getting a big flash of wind that's getting ready to fly right out of you. You finally hit the point of no return, and you go. Okay. Oh, my gosh. I have got to squeak this one out. And you kind of lean over and you do the left cheek sneak. But even
then, you know that you're still risking it. Or if you're the girl in my third grade class, you can just cannon off a big beef or loudest fart I've ever heard in my life. Not really. And then just instantly blame it on your chair. Like, here's the deal. Chairs make a lot of different sounds. Squeaking, scraping, scuffing, clattering. You know, chair sounds, but they don't sound like a full grown man ate a pound of beans and cheese. And so, like, we all know that that was not
the chair. It was a fart. But what makes a fart make the sound that is a fart? Well, it's really kind of simple. It's the sound of the air passing through the opening at the end, or the butthole, if you will. And the vibrations it makes are sound number one. That's why the left cheek sneak doesn't always do the trick, because you're just trying to spread the hole open a little bit more to produce less sound. But we all know there's still a little bit.
However, if you have a lot of real estate on the backside, you got a lot more opportunity for that air to interact with a lot more of that real estate. And as a result, there's a bigger opportunity for a bigger disruption. Farts are inherently funny. Like, uh, I believe. And here on privy, we believe that God made farts funny. Convince me. Otherwise. God could have caused the air to come out of our bodies in any way possible. Could have had it just, like, seep through the skin.
Could have had it do it any way possible. And it comes out, and it makes that sound. You tell me farts are funny, and sometimes they stink. But are, uh, farts healthy? I mean, past. Of course, Shrek and his advice, better out than in. Shrek knew what he was talking about, by the way. Farts are always better out than in, both for comedic effect and for the relief that the person feels having ripped the beefer. But it turns out farting has some benefits other than just the pressure being
relieved on your tummy. We here right now may live in a world where the actual health benefits of getting a big whiff of toot are real. Now, that might sound crass to you, and it kind of is. And we're not talking about sniffing beef stew, getting laid right in your nose. I've told that story here before, but I'm going to tell this again, and I'm going to use his name this time, because I don't care. Um, this is not a
hunter's anecdotes, because we've already done that one here. But if you want it, just pretend like I played the music. I don't even remember. Um, but we were on this youth trip, and I've told this story. I just want to get to the good part. And we had all decided that, uh, we're not going to fall asleep. If anybody falls asleep, we're going to mess with and, like, just matters of an hour or so before we had to leave for the conference that day, my friend Luke, who was. He was a
year younger than us and kind of one of the. Not the youngest kids in the group, but one of the younger ones, he fell asleep right on the couch in the middle of the common area. And as the girls are getting woken up on their wing, we're like, oh, dude, Luke's asleep. And this other guy, I'm pretty sure his name was Mike, but he gets over there, and he just bears his butt, and he sticks his cheeks, like, on either side of Luke's nose, and just
farts right in Luke's nose. And the dude gags, and, like, the fart woke him up by gagging him awake right into his nose hole. Luke, if you're listening, you might have gotten a gift, because that compound air substance that gives the tooth some of its stink, hydrogen sulfide could be good for you. The theory of science on this goes like this. The mitochondria. All my schoolhouse rockheads out there know what the mitochondria is all about. Say it with me.
This is me trying to do a dora the explorer moment where I let you all respond. The mitochondria is. That's right, kids. The powerhouse of the cell, that mitochondria, it could really like the stinky part of a fart. This is based off the fact that the mitochondria, again, the powerhouse where all the energy for the cell comes from, um, it uses hydrogen sulfide to repair damaged cells in its own functions. So
the theory then goes like this. If a person is exposed to more environments with hydrogen sulfide, the idea is it would be easier for your cells to repair damage. This is important because if the cell undergoes too much stress and spends too much time trying to repair damage, it's going to undergo inflammation, and, ah, as a result, could die. Like, the cell could actually die
in time again. If the mitochondria can't produce this hydrogen, sulfide compound to essentially heal itself quick enough, it becomes fatigued and dies. And so the scientists. And again, this is not me. This is science, quote, science here. Their proposal is that increased exposure to the hydrogen sulfide compound would help the cell along to test this. And again, these theories have only been tested on animals. Uh, so, yeah, imagine a box of rats and dudes farting into the box. No, I'm
just kidding. That's not what they did. Um, but to test this, they created a fake stinky fart compound called AP 39. Now, I don't think it actually stunk. Um, but, yeah, this compound mimics hydrogen sulfide, and they exposed blood vessels to it. And what they found is it actually worked like it showed some added health
benefits to these animals. The research then continued, and they suggested the compound could help lower blood pressure, treat heart conditions, improve kidney function, help protect your brain after a heart problem, and could even reduce aging. Sniffing your farts can help you like makeup. It's a good skincare routine. You hear that, beauty queens? The next time you do yourself your little makeup routine, just remember, if you sniff a fart, it's going to help them. Help them age lines. That's
probably why I don't have. No, I'm just kidding. But maybe the next time someone tells you, like, hey, you should probably be taking turmeric or whatever the heck you need to take to, quote, reduce inflammation. Hey, did you know you have inflammation? Yeah. Of what? For me, right now, I have inflammation of my big toe, and it sucks. But hey, you better be taking some turmeric or whatever the heck. Just tell them, hey, you know what else? You can sniff a fart to reduce
inflammation. It's backed by science. One kid even wanted to smell his own farts while gaming in this segment of, uh, poo in the news. This poo in the news segment is brought to us by tech gaming Report, and the title of this article is PC in the bathroom. An amateur shows an unusual gaming system. This news article was originally published at the beginning of August 2022, and it says there's plenty of case mods for unusual PC cases. I believe a, uh, case mod is gamer speak for the shell of the
computer. Like, people make the shell of their computer look like all sorts of things. This, um, one says that there's, like an aquarium. Um, there's one that they built into. It's like a hobby people have. I don't know, but this person, and it's from a well known YouTube channel, we're not, whatever, put a PC gaming computer in a toilet tank. Yeah, they've addressed the issue with the past in the fridge, PC in the toaster, among other things. Uh, it comes together with the wink. Um,
it's an implementation we're seeing. So I'll post pictures of this toilet, but there's a narrow separation of water inside because do you know what you don't want? You don't want a gaming PC to interact with water that often. And so they have to build a separation so that way the toilet still has enough water to function. Um, but also giving it the electronics. They also had to install an electrical outlet near their toilet because I don't know if you
noticed, but look around your toilet. There's not usually a conveniently placed electrical outlet for a PC. They say it's feasible and fun. The stated goal was to accommodate a system that could run counterstrike global offensive. Now, I think this is a popular video game, uh, and to be able to play counterstrike global Offensive on the toilet, it has a GeForce RTX 3060 and an intel core I seven nerd. Uh, the video games, uh, it also has a monitor in the toilet seat back. And this is where,
hey, people building this toilet. I'm going to let you know something here. That's not how you sit on the toilet. And you would have to sit on the floor with your legs around the post of the toilet, hugging the bowl for this to even be a feasible way to play video games while sitting on the toilet, they had an unexpected leak which needed fixed sealant of a new design. Uh, the hobbyist sums up his project as follows. I know now more about plumbing than I ever thought I could, and I've never
stopped playing. I can just sit and do the bathroom while I play. Except based on where you put your screen, my friend. Oh, wait, no, I see it now. He put the screen on, um, the part of your toilet that actually lifts off to get into the toilet tank to do work so you could sit on it, you would have to do like, a reverse sit with your legs facing the wall, which is a viable way to sit on the toilet to go poop. We'll talk about that one day. You'd have to perform
a toilet hug to play on it. But yeah, this kid put a PC in a toilet, so good on him. Um, and I'm going to check out this YouTube video for more. Uh, but like I said, this was written by Ebenezer Robbins. Thank you, Ebenezer, for, uh, sharing this with us on tech gaming report. And that has been another segment of poo in the news. Well, hopefully you've finished squeaking your sneaker. Oh, uh, wait a minute. No. Sneaking your squeaker. Wait, no. That also sounds
wild. Finish your toot. And remember, there could be some added health benefits of taking a good whiff. Thank you. Hydrogen sulfide. See, farts ain't so bad. This also brings us to the end of another episode of privy. Thank you so much for being here and listening. We love that you're here. Um, it's national podcasting month. Feel free to, uh, show some love to the podcast in your life. Leave them a rating and review. It helps people find those five star options are preferred.
Spotify takes 3 seconds. Apple can take 3 seconds to 30 seconds, depending on if you write a review. If you write us a review, we'll read it here on the show. We would love to start, uh, reading some more of those reviews. And, uh, if you've written a review and you're like, well, I haven't seen it, I am recording this ahead of time because I'm fixing to go back to teaching school again for the year.
And so I'm trying to get a few of these built up ahead of time. But leave us a rating review, and we promise we will get to them. Follow us on social media. The show is at Privycast. You can follow me. I'm at Owl at seven. Weird stuff going on on both of those pages. Tread lightly on the TikToks. We would like to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of bar room ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find Kevin's music@incompetent.com and his music is licensed under Creative Commons license
attribution 40. Thanks, Kevin. We would also like to thank Pottington Bear for the use of camp as the pooh in the news intro and outro music. You can find Potdington's music@pottingtonbear.com. Thanks, Pottington. We would also like to thank Luke for having Mike fart in his nose. This has been another episode of Privy. Thank you so much for joining us. And now, as always, face, don't forget to flush.