First of all, I want to ask this question. What in the heck was a web series like to watch it dial up internet in 1997? Like trying to load this joker. No. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms. Recorded from my home bathroom. I am Hunter Hoover, your host for the pod. yeah, a couple of unwanted updates as always. I know you don't want them. So two things. First of all, I ate too much Marion Berry pie last week. And it turns out as we're going to discuss. Marionberry pie is pretty high in fiber.
Like it's got some pretty good fiber content up in there. And so I'm just going to let your imagination fill in the rest from there. But the other thing is, and I want to, this is in no way an ad. I can't stress this enough. This could be, this is the farthest thing possible from being an advertisement that a person could get. And that is this Applebee's your neighborhood barn grill.
has a promotional item and I don't really know what the goal that they're trying to promote in these is, but the promotional item is essentially Cheetos Crusted slash Cheetos Dusted. I'm not sure the difference, but Cheetos Crusted Chicken Wangs and Cheetos Crusted Cheese Curds essentially. Now, I want to say This sounds like an excellent idea on paper and it actually probably could be executed differently and be good.
Here's a must-say though When I got my plate of Cheetos dusted buddies My exact first thought and words out of my mouth were man I didn't expect them to be this wet because the grease factor of these guys was off the chains but so much so that they were almost too difficult to eat in the moment.
And so what I did is I made what I'm calling a very poor decision to take all of my chicken wingies and the majority of my cheesy curds home to eat for lunch the next day, thus turning a one sit down gut bomb into a two sit down gut bomb.
And so the next day I decide to just dig up on a whole just napkin soaked because I had to try to soak up some of this grease just glob of cheesy crusted cheese and wings and yeah these ain't hitting it mostly because what turned out was my bowels responding in a way that I equated to sounding and of the experience of putting a can full of SpaghettiOs into a shotgun um and so While the flavor was there, there was some uh post flavor dealings that were not so hot.
had a buddy also this week inform me that he took a backdoor brown at the happiest place on earth. So yeah, that's cool. Nothing like leaving Mickey Mouse a surprise while you're visiting his little magical kingdom. Gym toilet was a wreck again. This time beyond the point where you could like go and clean it off yourself, wreck. I don't know what was going on. I think somebody had freshly like overdone a pre-workout.
I think these people are mixing some really randy pre-workout protein and you know, they're getting just high concentration of protein in these shakes. And then you're just getting to the gym and you just get gym butt and you're not getting into position on the old throne. ah And so when you're not in position, the only thing I can think is that that is what would cause this sort of just like spread on the toilet.
And maybe if they spent less time taking stupid selfies of themselves and spent more time aiming their bathroom, we'd all have a little less Brown to deal with. But nonetheless, whether you're dealing with Cheeto disaster bowel or Marion Barry or Jim crack, ah Merry Christmas, happy holidays everyone. I hope you're enjoying the ramp up this time of year. Last week, I issued you a challenge to give Santa a bunch of X-Lacs essentially and try to catch him in the holiday act this season.
And for some of you, you might hear that and you might go, like, okay, but like I don't do Santa. we don't observe Santa. You can't spell Santa without S's. And so, you might be thinking, okay, like, what am I supposed to do? And maybe like so many before you, you're looking for a more inclusive and all-encompassing holiday icon to celebrate the season. An honorable mention here would be the Max Funs, Terry the non-denominational gift-giving dragon.
That's funny, he's nice, Terry brings you gifts, he doesn't... He doesn't really like worrying about judging whether or not you've been good or bad. He's just bringing you a gift. That's really nice. But here at Privy, we want to acknowledge, and there's another holiday icon that is definitely worth mentioning on the pod. And it's one that I think is going to be a pod staple thanks to the show that he comes from. Today on Privy, we're observing Mr. Hankey. The Christmas poo.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo is a character from South Park first appeared in season one episode nine of the show, which consequently is the only episode of the show that I actually have seen in full. And you're gonna hear that and you're go, okay, well like this scrub can't have anything to say about South Park if he's only seen one full episode. Point taken, but. I'm not really going to be critiquing South Park as much. That's not my goal. I'm going to make some comments.
Rather, I'm here to talk about and celebrate Mr. Hankey. The Christmas poo. This is a real thing, by the way. And I'm going to speak briefly about the episode he debuts in. Because here's what I'm going tell you. First of all, it's Christmas episode. So it has that going for it. But it's actually really good. It was a funny episode. was a good thing to watch. uh I watched it and I said, huh, I might as well, I could watch some more of this.
And in doing some research on South Park, show, an interesting conversation with people, know, I think South Park is one of those shows that whether you've seen it or not, you've heard somebody talk about it or you've heard somebody like reference the style or the uh satire that it provides.
South Park seems to be one of those shows that they're trying to tackle like modern day issues and they're trying to give a comedic and satirical spin to these these kind of like pressing like pop culture cultural issues that are happening and I think the show is one also from what I can tell it that it's able to laugh at itself as much as it points outward to the culture at large. And so in this episode, the title is Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo.
gives, it kind of gives up the goat right out of the gate here. It's like, we're going to meet a character named Mr. Hanky. But Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo does just that. It makes jokes about itself while still pointing at the culture at large and saying, we got to look at something here because y'all are wild. Y'all are getting crazy.
The episode opens up with what is very clearly a nod to the Peanuts Christmas special, um wherein the group of kids is gathered and they're doing the Christmas pageant, they're presenting the nativity, and yeah, I believe a character named Stan is reading the Christmas story in practice for the school play. uh What ensues from here is South Park's spin on that classic situation. Enter a wonderful social commentary about the war on Christmas.
If you're not, if you're not, if you've never heard of this, the war on Christmas is essentially this fake struggle for what I would say, um pop culture Christmas to try and scoot itself away from religious Christmas and vice versa for religious Christmas to take up arms against pop culture Christmas in what is effectively a fake war on Christmas. Now, here's what I'm going to tell you. This war on Christmas, it's done. Everybody just needs to chill the God dang out. That's all there is to it.
You can have Santa and celebrate the birth of Jesus. It's okay. Like, we don't need to be upset about this. But Kyle, whose family is Jewish and whose mom is, as I believe the term nowadays to describe Kyle's mom would be a Karen, although in this episode she is just presented as overactive and overreactive. And she will not permit Kyle to participate in the school's Christmas play, portraying the birth of Jesus because they're Jewish. That's totally fair. It's her choice.
Kyle is not being allowed to do Christmas stuff. He is thus banned from all things Christmas, partially because of his mom and partially because his friends just they just got a roach this dude. They rake him over the coals about this. And this is the butt of the episode's jokes. It fuels the episode's character namesake, Mr. Hankey.
One such example is when the boys are outside catching snowflakes on their tongues and Cartman tells Kyle it's against the law for him to participate because he's Jewish and he's not allowed to catch Christmas snow on his tongue and they ask the police officer and the police officer agrees. The police officer is like, yeah, that's illegal. You can't do that. It's classic stuff.
And so defeated, Kyle now begins to wish there was a holiday icon he could celebrate and claim as his own since he does not find many of his family Hanukkah traditions, quote, as fun. These are his words and not mine. South Park's answer to this is Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo. If you haven't seen the episode and you haven't seen Mr. Hankey, it's pretty much exactly what you would think a Christmas poo would look like.
It's a solid turd, probably about three to five inches long with a Santa hat and a face. His catch phrase, hidey ho, which you heard at the top of the episode. But here's the deal. The episode kind of leads you to believe that Kyle pooped and possibly forgot to flush and that is where Mr. Hankey comes from and I'm told that in later episodes of South Park they flush out where in the world did Mr. Hankey come from and that's great. We're not looking at other episodes.
We're looking at Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo season one episode nine and so Mr. Hankey is this Christmas poo And what is probably the best and most troubling detail about Mr. Hankey is, and it's probably one of the grossest things I've seen in a cartoon on TV in some time, is that he leaves little poo stains and crap marks wherever he jumps. So he hops around the room, wah, and he flies around. And as he does so, he leaves little brown streaks on whatever he touches.
It's gross, um but it's fun. And this makes for some of running gags of the show because essentially while Kyle can see Mr. Hankey's face in Santa Hat and hear him talk and interact with him, if you don't believe in Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo, he just looks like a regular piece of human byproduct turd. And so the fun begins. At one point, Mr. Hankey hops all around the bathroom and he gets poop all over the bathroom. He's like, no, no, no. And after doing that, Kyle grabs him.
He's like, stop it. And he grabs Mr. Hankey. And then Kyle's dad walks in and he sees what is effectively Kyle standing in the bathroom holding a piece of his own turd is what is assumed and just sees just shaz marks all over the wall. Kyle later brings Mr. Hankey to school in a box to show his friends. And when they open the box, his friends are just like, dude, you took a crap in a box. brought it to school and called it a Christmas character. What's wrong with you?
Of course, Mr. Hankey begins to hop around the room and Kyle catches him and the teacher sees Kyle holding Mr. Hankey, which again looks to him like a regular turd. And the stage and the things are covered in brown stains and he sends him to school counselor. This is where things get dark. Somehow, while Kyle is meeting with the school counselor, Mr. Hankey ends up in the counselor's coffee. He goes to take a sip. is disgusted, and then he tells Kyle what is the funniest joke in the whole thing.
You're a troubled kid. You're a sick kid. His friends then admit him to a loony ward where he's stuck in a straight jacket and put in a room. Then the non-denominational, politically correct and unoffensive Christmas concert happens and it's so choice. The kids are wearing essentially like colorless tops, which are just like these gray bags, and they're just spinning around like babbling to just a generic tune. It is ridiculous. It is the dumbest holiday or Christmas concert ever conceived of.
And South Park is keying us in, remember, is social commentary here. You can't get rid of everything. Like not everything is offensive. I think herein is the joke of the show because the kids find out their school cook or chef or someone I don't know who the guy is.
I think his name is just chef from what I can tell that he also believes in Mr. Hankey and with the realization that someone else someone they respect believes in him they do as well and now they can see Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo and they go and they bust Kyle out of the psych ward and they all celebrate the holiday using Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo as an option. And here's the point of the episode, think.
In an attempt to remove politics from Christmas, the character they land on is still called the Christmas Poo. He could have been the Hanukkah Log or the Holiday Deuce, and instead the PC icon put forth here is Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. He is this reminder that whatever tradition you celebrate this season, it's important to know why you are celebrating it. I think an excellent point to be made here is that Mr. Hankey still brings good gifts to people on Christmas.
He doesn't bring those gifts to little kids if they're good or bad. He doesn't plop a weird little elf on a shelf to stare at you and creep you out all month long while he narcs to Santa for you. No. Mr. Hankey brings gifts to people who have enough fiber in their diet. That's choice. Forget naughty and nice lists. If you ate enough fruits and veggies to help you be regular, you might have a visit from Mr. Hankey, if you know what I'm saying.
Because if you had that much fiber, there's gonna be a real Mr. Hankey in your toilet. Like, do you get it? It's funny. We determine if we get a visit from Mr. Hankey. What a concept. Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. You really can't make this stuff up. And my only challenge to this, this Mr. Hankey idea, is if he's visiting you for having high fiber in your diet.
If my Marion Barry situation from this week is any tell, too much fiber is not going to be conducive to Mr. Hankey having quite a physical form. He's gonna be a little runnier than maybe we want. And since we love all things bathroom, we hope you get a visit from Mr. Hankey this holiday season. Stay regular, folks. Remember, fiber buddies.
Fiber buddies, you're the ones You get a visit from Mr. Hanky, it's fun Fiber buddies helping me celebrate the season of gra- Mr. Hank is coming to say, hi-dee-haw. I'm told Mr. Hankey makes more than one appearance in the show. And while I'm sure that one day we'll gather all this information on this character. For today, Mr. Hankey lives in the debut, which consequently is the only episode I've seen. And you know what? It's a good episode.
I liked it enough to make me want to the rest of the show. oh Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo is a holiday alternative to Santa and a character that seemed to have been written with privy in mind. If only Mr. Hankey hadn't been created 20 plus years before this pod was even a concept. And you might hear about him and you might think, where in the world did this idea come from? Like who comes up with this mess? A turd who brings you presents? and wears a Santa hat and hops around the room.
As with most bathroom related characters, there's kids involved. Trey Parker, one of South Park's creators, reports that his father came up with the ideas similar to Mr. Hankey when he was potty training him. When Trey was little, he didn't like to flush the poop. And so his dad told him that if he forgets to flush his turd, which he called Mr. Hankey, that Mr. Hankey would come to life and attack him and possibly kill him.
oh This is not the most trauma informed thing to say, but I bet it worked. I bet, you know, I bet it spooked him just enough for him to be like, ah, I'm just gonna flush the toilet. We don't wanna visit Mr. Hankey. So he took the idea of Mr. Hankey with him throughout school, often drawing him in a sailor's hat rather than a Santa hat.
They thought of making a Christmas short wherein, ah, pretty much all the plot elements contained in season one, episode nine of South Park, Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Pooh would be found in this Christmas short. In fact, Mr. Hankey was probably one of the first characters conceived of for South Park. And they knew they wanted to make an adult animated comedy with four kids and a background character named Mr. Hankey, who would be a piece of talking human poop. What in the heck, Trey Parker?
What a thing to set out on. I respect the game since I'm sitting here in my bathroom staring at my hand towel now, a bag of cough drops, and just thinking to myself, I'm making a podcast in my bathroom about pooping, and I talked for, I don't know, three to five minutes at the beginning about how I ate too much Marionberry and how it set me up for a situation for the week, and too many Cheetos weird guys. So I get the game.
Someone who regularly has weird conversations explaining to people that, yeah, I do a podcast about bathrooms. I get how this idea likely went over. You want a character that's a talking piece of poop. And they're like, oh yeah, your idea sounds great. Okay, yeah, just one question there, Rich Company, who could fund and show our idea to others. How do you feel about talking poop? Record scratch. Talkin' what now? Like, you made a podcast about what? Why? I get it.
When they originally pitched the idea of the show, Fox was originally on board, but they pulled out due to the idea of having a talking poop character. They pitched ideas all over, and when Fox stuck by it and pulled out, Comedy Central was open to the idea of Mr. Hankey because for the duo, seems the inclusion of Mr. Hankey was a deal breaker. If Fox couldn't accept Mr. Hankey, then we're going somewhere else.
Originally, Mr. Hankey was written as a figment of Kyle's imagination, but the creative team at South Park always felt this would diminish him as a character. much like Snuffleufagus was only an imaginary friend to Big Bird and wasn't a quote, real quote character. And so they chose to make Mr. Hankey real, tangible, not just living in the mind of Kyle, which is why most people can see him by the end of the episode. He's a thing, he's just another character.
And in reading up on the episode, the episode is like also noted as special because it is apparently the first episode in which Kenny is not killed. That's wild since again this is episode 9 and it would seem that Kenny dying is like a running gag of the show. I don't know. The fans of South Park out there like screaming to themselves. They're like this idiot doesn't he get it. It's but like no I don't.
So apparently Kenny dies a lot which is dark because it's a kid and has apparently done so eight times by the time Mr. Hankey makes his debut. Mr. Hankey is credited with being one of the earliest episodes that gives the show a rise in popularity, so much so that they actually produced Mr. Hankey stuffed turds. Like stuffed animals, but they're shaped like Mr. Hankies. What? I if you could still buy one of these. I'm gonna Google it here real quick. I gotta look this up.
I gotta look this up, just a second. Holy sec. You can buy a Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Funko Pop for $35. There's a Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo ornament and shirts. Oh my gosh. So this is a thing and they still have a lot of merchandise available promoting and showing off Mr. Hankey. There's some controversy, however, about Mr. Hankey at his release. Another show, The Ren and Stimpy Show, a Nickelodeon staple that features a Chihuahua and a cat who are known for their over the top antics.
these two were out of control. On the air at the time was this Ren and Stimpy created by John Crick-Felucy. We're gonna go with that. Crick-Felucy. Crick-Felucy was a very, it's a very difficult name to spell. and one which Google Docs recognized and didn't red squiggle. It's wild that it didn't red squiggle Crick Felucci of all the things.
But in October 1997, just two months before Mr. Hanke made his television debut, Crick Felucci released a web series, which, first of all, I'm gonna ask this question, what in the heck was a web series like to watch it dial up internet in 1997? Like trying to load this joker. No! Not worth it. Just like put it out on DVD or something. This web series featured a character named Nutty, the friendly dump. Jeez. Ah, wow. Portrayed as a happy talking piece of poop. Isn't that great?
That's art, dang it. Look at the art that he made. Look at that turd with legs that walks around and his name's Nutty, the friendly dump. Good lord. The web series had this character and people went off, claiming the creators of South Park stole Nutty the Friendly Dump, slapped a Santa hat on him and called him Mr. Hanky. However, Crick Felucci himself noted people like bathroom humor and it was possible they both had a similar idea by coincidence. you have to admit the timing is bad.
Like the episode, this web series released in October 1997 and then two months later the episode Mr. Hankey the Christmas Pooh comes out in December. I will note the things pretty much went unresolved. Like Mr. Hankey went on to be a regular character on South Park. and Nutty ended up on the web series, just part of, and then like, I don't think anybody ever heard of him.
So whether the claims that Crick Felucci was turned down by Comedy Central to turn Nutty into a cartoon in 1993 is true or false? I don't know that. Whether Parker, Trey Parker borrowed ideas about Mr. Hankey from Nutty the Friendly Dump is true or false? I don't know. It's really up to each person to decide. and I have my opinions, but that's another time. Until then, Mr. Hankey will live on in the South Park universe as a non-denominational attempt to spread holiday cheer.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. Whatever your holiday celebrations include this year, I hope they are merry and bright and full of cheer, and I hope they keep the brown skid marks much less involved than Mr. Hankey does. because we could all do for a few less brown skid marks these days. That's all I'm going to say about it. You might as well just let that one just cook for a second. I'd like to thank you for making Privy a part of your holiday celebrations.
Hope that you are getting into the holiday cheer and the Christmas season. As always, we would love for you to connect with us on social media. We are at Privycast at all social media platforms. Follow us there, see what's going on, see some snippet videos where I put strange things and post some pictures.
Shout out to my wonderful wife, she got me an early Christmas present which uh is a really cool privy cast metal wall hanging that is here in the recording studio which coincidentally is where I go to the bathroom on a daily basis. And so check that out. There'll be a picture of that there. Send us an email privycast at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, whether it's feedback of the show or just saying hi, telling us thoughts and topic suggestions. Really anything that you have to say.
We'd love to hear from you. We want to hear about... I don't want to say anything because there's some things that are too much information, but there's not too many things that are too much information. Leave us a rating or review. The five-star option is our favorite. iTunes is a great place to leave those reviews and it's just a way for people to find the show when they search bathrooms in the podcast. It'll help them find the show. Share the show with some friends this week.
Help spread the word. Yeah, just help the show keep growing. I'm enjoying making it. As always, we want to thank Kevin MacLeod for the use of Bar Room Ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find Kevin's music at incompetech.com. and his music is licensed under Creative Commons license, Attribution 4.0. Thanks, Kevin. The jingle bells and background music you heard this week is also licensed under Creative Commons license, Attribution 4.0. This has been another episode of Privy.
Thank you so much for joining us. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, joyous festivals, all those things. And now, as always, with a big, howdy ho! from Mr. Hankey. Don't forget to flash.