>> Speaker A: So all these, like, grass and corn fed hippies come to town for this film festival, and it's. It's causing some real problems in the sewer. And welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom. I'm your host, hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms. Uh, welcome back and happy, um, holidays.
Merry Christmas. Joyous, whatever you do. Um, it's the Christmas season, and for those of you who are out there and are like, well, you can't start Christmas until, well, guess what? It's after Thanksgiving, so now it's Christmas, or whatever your holiday cheer is made up of, I wanted to give you just a brief bathroom, uh, update, a couple of things that have been going on in my life.
The first is, and I've shared this update in person to a couple of people, but I would be remiss if, on this podcast, I didn't share just this brief story of the gentleman who was lotioning himself so aggressively at the gym. Um, and I know we're coming out real, like, merry Christmas, hit you with the Christmas right up front, and then instantly begin talking about a man lotioning himself. But you don't see something like this very often, and so when you do, it sticks with you
and it goes with you. Um, so I arrived at the gym, as I usually do. I got my bag on my back, and, uh, I go into the gym to change into my gym attire. Discount Walmart shorts and budget shoes that are falling apart. Uh, but as I go in the layout, it's got a couple of nooks and crannies. Those nooks and crannies are going to come into this conversation. Uh, and I round the first nook, and when I turn my head, I see a man lotioning his crannies.
And what you got to know is they have these benches in the gym locker room that are. They're probably six to eight foot benches. You could easily put two to three blokes clothed on one of these benches. But this dude was sitting full spread eagle, like, just total, total hog to the wind. And on a towel. He had his towel spread on the full length of this bench, and he just had his legs in the most fierce man spread I've ever seen in my entire
life. Um, and he was just aggressively, I should add, like, lotioning his inner thigh, like, all the way down the entire length of thigh, lotioning it with some very, very fruity smelling lotion. And that's fine. I'm all about moisturizing. Uh, a, uh, dude's got to moisturize. But he was spreading lotion in his groin region the entire time I was changing, which I take a little know. We're talking three to five minutes of
full Bentley lotion spread here. It's too much like, in my opinion, in my humble opinion, it's too much lotion spread. And the best part was. So I'm seeing, I'm kind of like, laughing in my own head. But what puts me over the edge to not laughing in my own head, but now laughing somewhat out loud, but not, like, loud enough to where Captain Lotion can hear me is another gentleman comes into the gym locker room, and as he rounds his nook, he gets full sight of dude lotioning crannies and just
goes, oh, gosh. And just turns back and walks all the way to the front of the locker room where nobody takes those lockers. Um, but he was like, I am not taking a locker next to lotion guy. Um, so, lotion guy, if you're out there, you just keep hydrating. Um, and good on you. Uh, you really had it hanging out there for all to see. But again, merry Christmas, happy holidays, um, whichever. Yeah. Um, this year we here at privy, we need to take another look at
something. So last year, I dived in, stuck my pinky toe in to the world of south park, uh, via one of their beloved Christmas characters, Mr. Hanky, the Christmas pooh. And this year, we want to take a look back to Mr. Hanky, this beloved character. And, ah, while we're not here to discuss again the difference between Mr. Hanky and nutty, the Christmas dump, which I shared, my thing, but like, justice for nutty, you know what I'm
saying? But this year, I want to discuss Mr. Hankey's second appearance on south park. We need to talk about it because it's Christmas and we need to just get it straight going here. Uh. Oh, bless up. I gotta tell you right now, the orange vanilla polar seltzer, if you want to trade, if you want to treat yourself something, if you want, if you want a little holiday treat for yourself this year, go get yourself a twelve pack.
Go get yourself a soda, but go get yourself a twelve pack of polar seltzer in the orange vanilla variety. You won't be disappointed. To me, it is the most unlacroy lacroix like product. This is not a lacroix thing. Last week, when we talked to Jerry Crane, um, shout out, Jerry, thank you for letting us invade your space. Um, we talked about the bougie ness of this is not a lacroix ad, but, like, polar seltzer, is it? Uh, and the orange vanilla
flavor is very good. So if you want yourself a little Christmas treat there, hit that up. It's very good. Uh, but we need to talk about south park, and we need to talk about Mr. Hankey's second appearance. So again, to give some context, um, you might be asking yourself, well, is this guy a, you know, does he, like. Is this, like, a South park fan? Is he one of these deep cut, Louis. And this is my interaction
with South Park. I watched about three minutes of a clip of South park when I was in high school. It was making fun of some Mormon people, whatever. And then I watched the entirety of Mr. Hankey's debut episode last year, and now I have seen about one and a half more episodes in research for this week's episode of the podcast. So the episode, you really have to view two episodes to get some context. The episode title, that is the official Christmas episode, is Merry
Christmas, Charlie Manson. Uh, but in research for this, and to give context to what is going on, because I started that episode and I got a little ways in, I was like, something has happened to Mr. Hankey between the last time I saw Mr. Hanky and Mr. Hankey's appearance in Merry Christmas, charlie Manson. But research is research. And I had to go watch, ah, another episode, um, which was. And content warning here. Uh, I didn't name this
episode. And what I can tell from the writers of South park is this is kind of their humor. But the episode is called Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls. Now, he creates a treat in the episode that are these little round, like, meatball looking things, but they're chocolate, and they've got, like, sea salt. Chef's chocolate salty balls. They know what they did, but it is what they are. Um, also, chef is black. If you're listening to this and haven't seen South park, chef
is black. So that's why it's chocolate. Just a little context there. The joke goes on for some time. Uh, anyway, Kyle, I think. I think it's Kyle. I'm not really too keen on which boy is which at this point. Um, but Kyle hears Mr. Hankey calling to him from the toilet, and later, the sewers and the boys go down in the sewers to figure out what's going on, because it turns out some film festival, uh, in town has attracted so many organic living and grain fed la residents that it is causing
problems in the sewer. So all these, like, grass and corn fed hippies come to town for this film festival, and it's causing some real problems in the. So, you know, Mr. Hanky's in trouble, but he can't leave because he's only supposed to come to the surface once a year at Christmas time, whatever. And I think this is where the Hanky lore starts to shine and really set itself apart from nutty, the friendly dump
or nutty, the Christmas dump, whatever. Is that because last, you know, nutty, the friendly dump. I mean, he really is quite similar to Mr. Hankey. Like, at best, they would be like friends or like cousins or something. But we find out some lore about Mr. Hankey. And the first here is that Mr. Hankey is pretty concerned with hygiene. So he tells the kids that they got to deal with this because there's too much
poop. It's out of control. And so the kids go back up after these children climb into the sewer. Um, yep. They go back up out of the sewer and tell the people of the town they will kill Mr. Hanky if they don't stop pooping. But they don't believe the kids. So Kyle has to take Mr. Hanky to the surface outside of Christmas to prove it, and they do so. And Mr. Hanky almost dies. Spoiler alert. If you haven't seen this South park episode from, like, 20 years ago, spoiler alert. Mr. Hanky almost
dies in this episode. And, um, what comes to the rescue of Mr. Hanky other than it's none other than chef's chocolate salty balls. Yes. Now, once chef's chocolate balls revive Mr. Hanky, and thus kind of not save Christmas in this episode, but, like, save the town, which is such a Christmas theme in a non Christmas episode, but it revives Mr. Hanky. And this is where we get Mr. Hanky lore. Point number two. And that is this. That Mr. Hanky is like a
wizard. Not only is he a wizard, but he's a wizard who can control the poop in the sewers and cause it to rise and shoot up and out of the sewers, thus freaking out all of the townspeople in South park. Essentially, the premise of this episode is the kids. So that's the background. That's what happened prior to this. So in the episode Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson, which is the second official Christmas episode, and, uh, Mr. Hanky plays kind of a secondary role here.
And essentially, the premise of the show is the kid's going a road trip with one of the boys'mom to Nebraska to visit his grandma. And on the way, on the roadside, they see a sign advertising Mr. Hanky, who is going to be at the mall. And so through a strange turn of events, um, and it's weird, but Charles Manson actually ends up taking the boys to the mall. Yes, criminal, known criminal. Charles Manson. Yes. Takes this group of small children to the mall, uh, to visit Mr. Hankey.
Now, at this point, I'm about two and a half episodes of South park in, so I'm not sure if things like this happen often, but there seem to be these weird, like, these children are involved in adult situation gags that are ongoing. Um, but, yeah, so they get to the mall, and of course there's a line to see Mr. Hankey. And the question is posed. Mr. Hankey is also supposed to be appearing at a mall across town. How can Mr. Hankey be in
two places at once? And of course, the answer is his magical powers, which we have already seen evidenced in chef's chocolate salty. So the boys are waiting in line for Mr. Hankey to meet Mr. Hankey, even though they've already met him and seemed to have, like, a personal connection with him. Whatever. But while they're doing so, Charles Manson is watching a Christmas special in a TV store or something, and they've swapped all the characters of the Grinch with Mr. Hanky Pooh stand ins.
These include Grinchy Pooh and Cindy Lou Pooh. It's pretty compelling stuff. So not only is Mr. Hanky a South park character, he's also a celebrity one to the point where the media has made Mr. Hankey content, such as Grinchy Pooh and Cindy loo poo. Now, uh, okay, so this is where the show, to me, gets to be a little meta. And I believe that we already know in the world of South Park, Mr. Hanky is real to these kids. He's not a figment. In their imagination, they've met him.
However, much like Santa Claus is real, much of the media gets their kick with Christmas by making media suggesting Santa is real. But they do it in a way which m also lets them key in, like, hey, we also don't really think he is. And that's their problem. But they seem to be. The world that the south park creators have built seem to swap Mr. Hanky in for
Santa. Now, the mall hanky is not the real Mr. Hanky, and the fake tells them Mr. Hanky isn't real, which, of course, triggers Kyle or Cartman or whichever one has a special relationship with this turd, this festive holiday turd. Uh, again, I cannot tell you which child this is. If you're a South park fan and you're just like triggered because I can't figure out which kid
is which. I know that Kenny dies a lot more on that later in this episode, Charlie Manson rediscovers the magic of Christmas, turns himself in, and they all learn about the happiness of, you know, Santa Claus is coming town they found the joy of Christmas. The greatest way to spread Christmas cheer is sing loud for all to hear. You know what I'm saying? But Charles Manson discovers this magic and changes. Here's the deal, and I want to note this. Santa exists
in the world of South park. He's been in it before. He was in the original Mr. Hanky the Christmas pooh episode. And ah, so the writers seem set on this running gag. And so last year, and by the way, the running gag is this. Wouldn't it be funny if not just like, they're not suggesting that in South park they don't do Santa. They're suggesting that in addition to Santa Claus, the town of South park or the world that South park exists in also observes
Mr. Hm. Hankey. And the culture in the media treat Mr. Hankey much like the culture in South park and our world here treat Santa. So there you go. The writers seem set. And last year we used Mr. Hankey to discuss the woes and possible foul play between Mr. Hankey, the Christmas pooh, and nutty, the friendly dump. But I want to use the about 35 to 40 minutes of South Park I have watched thus far to be able to understand and discuss Mr. Hankey, to say something. And that's
this. Uh, and I mean, had here now, one could argue that I could have went out and bought a box set DVDs or went on Amazon or something and bought, but just bear with me. I had to watch South park on HBO Max. Uh, and I want this to be understood loud and clear here. HBO Max can go ahead and frig straight off. That's where I'm at. I'm so mad at whoever, whoever the jack wagon at HBO is, they can go sniff dirt. Here's why.
So for those of you don't know, the people of HBO Max are awful tyrants who only care about sponging you for every dollar. That's their goal. They don't care about your entertainment. They don't give six turds about it. Mr. Hankey'd be pissed if he knew what HBO Max was doing. That's all I'm saying about that. In fact, not only would he be so upset, but HBO's track record is as soon as they just don't feel like it anymore, they just delete Mr. Hankey
off the face of the planet. He's gone forever. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, well, why are you so mad? So here's the thing. HBO home, um, box office entertainment, uh, it used to be, like, where you'd go watch Game of Thrones, but once everybody entered the streaming wars, HBO had to get their finger in that pie. And they came out with HBO Max, and it was pretty hot for a minute. Like, there was a minute where people were gangbusters about HBO
Max. But what happened was, they're stupid. And they began to delete shows, cutting their own shows. I'm not talking like shows they've bought. They did that, too. I'm talking about shows that are labeled HBO Max, original content, like that they produced and deleting them from the platform, not selling them to a different platform, not releasing the rights. So that way maybe somebody else could pay them royalties to put that, no, deleting it forever.
It's gone. They also cut bunches of independent TV projects, things they'd purchased from Comedy Central. I'm looking at you, South park. I'm looking at Mr. Hanky. Like, I think HBO Max would have some gall to delete South park. But if the going gets tough enough, they might because they have canned so many. And I know you're thinking, well, just go watch it on Netflix when they. But no, they're deleting them. Like, they're gone. They don't exist outside of any DVDs of those shows that
existed prior to that. And, um, the reason that I'm so frustrated with HBO and why, uh, they just are stupid to me is they canned two of the programs I signed up for. So, like, I got on HBO and I was like, ho, baby, ho, baby. I'm going to watch these shows so good. And within a week of me signing up to watch these shows, HBO deleted them forever. And I'm sure HBO has their reasons, but I don't care. Your reasons are stupid. A tax write off is a dumb reason to do, and I'm sure that we apologize.
Um, but HBO took the hit already. That's why, if you notice, if you're on Instagram and probably now that you've listened to this, you're going to get all sorts of HBO ads, um, because Mr. M, Officer Bezos is always listening. But if you'll notice, they're trying to give away, like, three months for $2 right now because they're scrambling because people are mad, and rightfully so, because they're stupid. Like, it is a stupid
choice. It's a dumb thing. They did this to save a buck and try to get ahead, and they did it for a tax write off. So the reason I want to bring this up and I want to use Mr. Hanky the Christmas poo to discuss this is, from what I can tell, with the limited, again, very limited interaction, we're talking like two and a half episodes of South park I've watched. But it seems to me that South park
is the type of show that really goes for it. And what I mean by that is they're not afraid to go for the throat for anybody. From what I can tell, nobody is safe. They just make fun of everything. And, um, my challenge is this. And this is what I want to see. It's Christmas. Maybe it's probably too late now. I'm sure they've already got, like, the production on the Christmas special for Mr. Hanky already done. But please let there be a Mr. Hanky this year. If there is, I'll
watch it. That's my promise to South park. Um, but my challenge is this to the people at South park and the people behind South Park. Y'all gotta make an episode that's so friggin meta about how dumb HBO is for doing this. Like, and I get why you might not because you're on their platform and God forbid, HBO, like, totally delete your whole, like, South Park's pretty big. When I'm going through the seasons,
there's a lot of them. Um, but, man, how sweet would that be to log into HBO Max and just see an episode of South park where they're just riffing on how stupid HBO is right now? Like, man, uh, I would pay for that episode. Mr. Hanky. Mr. Hanky, the Christmas pooh would want you to do that. That's all I'm saying about, like, I've never met the guy, but the two and a half episodes that I have observed his performance. Ah, we know he's a turd of magic. We know he cares
about hygiene. That tells me that he loves animation magic and he wants the right thing to be done. Hygiene. So, like, South park, please make this. Please dunk on HBO. Because HBO and HBO, if you're listening to still, I've already paid you for some time, so I have your stuff. So you probably hear this and you go, I don't really care because you already gave us our money, but I'm here to tell you that you're dumb and you're making a stupid choice by
doing this to these shows. That's my two cent. I'm not going to lie. I was going to do a poo in the news this week, but, um, I need to curate that a little more because I went to find one and it's just article after article of people being awful to each other. Here's the deal. I challenged South park and nobody listens to this nonsense anyway, but here's the deal. Just kind of humanity in general. It's the holiday season. Quit being stupid with the bathrooms.
Can we just have a situation in a world where when I go to check bathroom news, it's not. The first five are not some pervert sticking a camera in a bat. I'm just done with it. Stop it. Cut it out. In HBO, undelete. These shows do it now. Mr. Hanky would want it. Well, that's enough of that. This, um, brings us to the end of another episode of Privy. Thank you for being here. Merry Christmas. Um, as always, you can follow the show on social media. We're at Privycast on all social
media. I'm working on getting a discord organized. I'm an old fogey and don't understand discord. Um, but if you want, uh, search for privycast on Discord, I think that's how you find it. I'll try to put that out there a little more, maybe in the boobly dopper below. Um, we're also on Reddit now, rprivycast, so, yeah, if wherever you're on social media, just track us down. You can follow me. I'm at owlet seven. Uh, you can send us an email, privycast@gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you. Send us episode suggestions, anything that you really want. We'd love to hear from it. Not anything. Um, I don't know why I say that. I always say it and then I instantly go, well, that was a bad idea. Somebody's going to send me a picture of a turd. Actually, if you have a wild picture of a turd and you just can't live without sending it in, I mean, I will take them. Do you know what I'm saying? I will take them. I want to take a moment here. We had a rating that
was left us. Um, if you want to leave a rating, a review, the five star options are preferred. And if you leave us a, uh, review, if you type out a review, we'll read it here on the pod. Uh, and so the man himself, JP, shout out to the man himself, JP. Five stars. The podcast says, the crappiest pot around. Hey, thank you. Thank you. Uh uh, that's in good fun and I really appreciate it. We appreciate the five star helps people find the show. Leave us a rating and review and we'll
try to read those here. Um, thank you. The man himself, JP, for that review. Um, as always, we want to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of bar room ballet as our intro and outro music. This has been another episode of privy. Thank you so much for joining us. And now, as always, don't forget to flush.