>> Speaker A: Which is this feeling like, I think it's like bad pizza, but it can, like, move crap. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded here in my home bathroom. Uh, it was really writing to be, uh, on location with Austin last episode, and, uh, I hope to get the opportunity to do more of those, for lack of a better term, home visit episode. It was really cool to record in his bathroom, uh, in that intimate space. And I mean intimate,
happy Cinco de Mayo. And that's honestly, instead of talking about that, we're going to do something else today, because I'm pretty sure that Cinco de Mayo is one of those holidays that America kind of runs rough shot over. Either that, or it's one of those things that started out as kind of made up. I don't know the history of this. It's probably some battle or independent something, but I'm ignorant and
don't know. And then I think it's kind of turned into a day for discounted to cheap to free tacos or maybe getting a little hooch on. So, yeah, we're going to get into, uh, a different topic this week. Instead of talking about cinco de mayo, uh, because we don't want to trudge waters that could be potentially loaded. Uh, but before we get into that, I had the astute
pleasure. I have to tell you this story. This isn't a full on Hunter's anecdotes, because this is like a real time weekly update here at the beginning. Um, but I had the astute pleasure, and it was stute, uh, of photobombing, making a stupid face in a guy's video at the gym. Now, you're going to hear that and you're going to go, how old is this guy? He ain't got nothing better to do. He's got to sneak up behind unsuspecting victims in the gym and lurk
behind them. But no, that's not what's going on. So bear with me. Go on this journey with me, if you will. So what you need to know, uh, is at the gym, and I know I talk too much about going to the gym. Whatever it is, what it is, if you've ever met me, you know that it's not any sort of a flex of any sort. It's more of just like, thing, uh, for survival at this point. But, uh, if you go to the gym, you know that there are these people, and I'm saying people. It's not just guys.
Because, you know, this happens on both sides. Anyway, uh, the people who go to the gym. And, well, the first group that drives me absolutely bonkers are the people who go to the gym, and then they just post up on the machines, and they're sitting on the machines, and you can see them. They're, like, scrolling through instaturred or watching TikTok, and they sit in that position on the machine for multiple minutes on end without
exercising. And that's fine. I'm not over here, like, saying, hey, you got to be on your grind every millisecond of your existence inside the gymnasium. But get off the machine. Especially if it's a low access machine where they have one, maximum two of the machines that will exercise that muscle group. There are some people who doing free weights is not an option to them, and so get the freaking heck off the machines. Like, free it up, look at your phone over by the drinking fountain, or
sit down. There's, like, benches and chairs and stuff, like, go that. But there's also these people. The other group that drives me a little bonkers is the people who go to the gym, and probably either after they have done their gyming or sometimes before, spend countless minutes vainly standing in front of the mirror, flexing their muscles and staring at themselves, videoing, photographing
themselves. And the thing is, this happens in the bathroom, and I'm pretty sure that you're not supposed to take video photographs in the bathroom. Now, those of you who follow the privycast socials know that what I have just said is a little hypocritical, but there is generally no human being pictured in the privycast social bathroom photos. So I want to note that. But it's
the bathroom. Like, people are taking dumpies and weewees in the background while you flex and make your dumb lips in the mirror at their phone. And I do not understand this, but, um, on one of my recent visits to the gym, this guy had set his phone up on top of the soap dispenser, and it was facing him and recording him as he flexed at the video and made a smolder face, um, which, when you flex and smolder at the same time, it really just looks like you have to poop, but whatever.
Um, and so his phone is just dangling. It's balanced. But those soap dispensers aren't necessarily flat. It's just kind of like balancing, dangling on top of this soap dispenser, waiting for some person to just walk by and bump it and send it plummeting onto the very clean bathroom floor, or the wet sink full of soddy buddies. So you have your phone balancing there. This guy's doing this circus act with his phone balanced here, and
you're filming your biceps as you flex. And you also try to keep a fart in because you're straining so hard. And then here comes hunter, and I see this, uh, and I'm on my way to my pre workout deposit. If you, uh, are on the poop map app, you'll know this is a frequent stop. And I have the option. I come around the corner and I see this flexathon happening with this dude's phone. He's like, yeah, he's doing that. And I see this happening, and I realized that I have
some options here. The first is I can stand there and let him finish his video. Um, which that ain't happening, because when I go to gym, I am there to get in and out as quick as possible. I'm not standing around waiting for some flexmaster 42 to get his flex on. I'm not going to wait for it.
I'm sorry. Film yourself somewhere else. I know that's probably very rude, but the other option is I can ask to or sneak behind the guy, um, so as not to ruin the video, uh, which most of you would hear and go, that's probably the polite option. Surely that's what hunter went for. Um, but I'm here to tell you that the other third option is I can do what I did do. So as I come around the corner, I just pretend like I have no idea that he is playing muscly man rando cleavage.
And I just walk right in front of the camera, just in between the camera and Flexmaster 42. And the guy is like, oh, my bad, my bad. And I have my headphones in. I just go straight to the urinal and then do. Yeah, which is definitely the shot. Uh, the urinal is 100% in the shot. Like, there's no chance that it's not in there. I know what I'm doing and I pretend like I have no idea what's going on. And then I do that. And you better believe I flush and those gym flushers.
Um, and then I go up to wash my hands, and I select the sink that is nearest to where his phone is balancing. And I give the. On the soap right where his phone is at. And you can see the phone jibble a little bit. Uh, and he moves up and stops the recording on his phone. And so I finish washing my hands, and he thinks that I'm going for paper towel, which I will note, I usually do paper towel I'm all about the paper towel, unless we have Dyson hand dryers. And then I'm all over the
Dyson wind tunnel hand dryers. So he sees that I'm done. He goes up and he starts his video again. But then I walk over to the air blowy thing. He's not getting this number right while this homie is trying to flex his pecs doing his thing. Um, so he stops it, and I get done with that. And he walks back up, and he starts the video again. And this time I walk back through and I walk
again right in front of the guy in the camera. But as I do, I look kind of over at his phone just at the right time so he can't see me. And I just make the dumbest, grumpy cat derp face you can imagine at this guy's video. And I just continue by. And I have been checking the tags for the gym that I go to here in Albany, just praying that I will see my idiotic mug in this guy's video. But I haven't seen it yet. He
probably edited it out. Um, but if it was up to me, the gym would have no mirrors and no windows. A big empty box filled with heavy things for men and women to lift. Anyway, welcome back to privy. Today we have a super topical episode that is not about Cinco de Mayo. Um, I've greeted you with that, and we're moving on. But yesterday was Star wars day. Now, uh, on the list of completely made up and pointless holidays, Star
Wars Day, may the fourth. See, this is one of those not so clever word plays about something. That character. So a character in Star wars, you see, it's quite simple. I'm going to connect these dots. Bear with me. It's intricate how we got the name of this holiday, but a character in Star wars, the multimedia franchise at this point, has said may the force, which is this feeling like, I think it's like bad pizza, but it can move crap, which I would
argue bad pizza. Producing a big enough fart could do the same thing. Anyway, um, may the fourth. May the fourth. You get it. It sounds like somebody with maybe a weird lisp is trying to say it. Um, which maybe this holiday is insensitive because of that, but May 4. But, yeah, May 4. May the fourth. You get it. It's funny, right? So funny. Uh, but George Lucas, the creator and originator of Star wars, wanted to adapt one of his beloved franchises into a movie.
Um, so we're going back history of Star wars. Um, this is a bathroom podcast. Podcast about bathrooms. And now we're going to talk about Star wars for a hot minute. So George Lucas, he wanted to adapt one of his, um, most beloved franchises, probably from his youth, into a movie, um, and that was Flash Gordon. But he could not get the rights to flash Gordon. And so in response to this, Lucas resolved to create his own Sci-Fi opera style film
series. He started out in the Sci-Fi scene with his debut movie, THX 1138, but he still had a goal in mind. And from his work on THX, Lucas got discovered. Uh, but the funding. So people knew this guy had the chops to make a Sci-Fi movie, but the funding was not there, and so he took a job directing what, in my opinion, is a better film than Star wars. American graffiti. In 1973, George Lucas, the man who created Star wars, released american
graffiti. American, uh, graffiti, if you haven't seen it, is a coming of age story about the rock and roll culture of the, uh, and one character probably lives on in our culture today from that and in the zeitgeist, if you will. Um, Wolfman Jack became this beloved entity in american culture at the time, and the film's success generated enough buz and enough money for Lucas to pursue his passion project. And so in 1977, Lucas directed and released Star wars, which later he renamed episode four a
New Hope. And with its success, Lucas made plans to make nine more movies. And if you do the math, that movie did not come out too long ago. And with these nine movies, he would also make what I like to call a metric dump ton of money. Imagine the audacity nowadays. I was thinking about this. We just went and saw Sonic the Hedgehog two. Really good movie, actually. I think I liked it better than Sonic the Hedgehog one.
But I'm sitting in theater and, uh, the previews are like, hey, friends, you remember that old movie that you watched 20 to 40 years ago? Well, we're going to make it again, and we're going to do a sequel. And so they've got, like, top maverick in Jurassic park world seven or something. And I'm not against this, but just imagine the audacity of a person in the year 2022 of our Lord releasing a movie and then saying, nay, verily, no sequels. I will not
make a prequel. I will not make a sequel. I will make exactly as much money as this one movie generates for me. And then you got, like, Kurt or not Kurt Cameron, James Cameron, uh, over here, like, yes, Avatar five in 40 years is going to be awesome. Um, and it's wild. We just have to beat the horse dead. No need to do that. Just make a good movie. That's all I'm saying. Hunter's rant over, but from pretty much the beginning, Lucas had plans for at least nine films.
Now, he probably didn't foresee the great Mickey Mouse takeover, but I'm also pretty sure that Mr. Lucas is aok with Mickey Mouse getting his large gloved hand up on the Star wars ball. So he made these movies. And in the last almost 50 years, Star wars has produced 13 movies, 17 plus TV show series, video games and books. It's multimedia. It's also like people actually hold to Jedi ism as a religion, whatever. Um, I'm not getting into it. No shade. But like, yeah,
never mind. Um, and so there's a lot going on here. There's a lot of data on Star wars. And I'm going to just tell you right now, I am not a Star wars fan. I'm not even a Star wars enthusiast. Um, in general, I don't really care about Star wars. So then you're asking yourself, well, what in the heck is this guy who cares deeply about bathrooms talking about Star wars? Well, you see, it's may the fourth, and we have some data that we need to put on the bathroom
plane of existence here. Because with all this data, all this recording and TV shows and movies and Star wars being around for 45 years, we've seen a lot of things from their universe. They got blue milk and they have, like, cultural touch points. They got enough data about the culture of Star wars that they can make an entire amusement park section in Disney about the thing. But here's the thing. You know what Star wars has very little dad on? How do the characters go to the
bathroom? Like, where's princess, uh, Abdullah? Uh, blam gata. Like, where's she going? Poo? I mean, not to be crass, is she a Disney princess? I'm sure there's somebody out there that's, like, adamant that she's a Disney princess. I don't know how that works, and I don't care. Um, but how do they go to the bathroom? I'm going to give you what is generally an accepted timeline of the commentary and info we have on Star wars
toilets. So first, in Star Wars Legends, which I haven't consumed this media, but from what I can tell, it's a book series. And feel free to email me, or like, I don't know, write us on social at me, on. At the show, on Twitter. Come at me. Um, but I'm pretty sure this is a book series. Uh, but in this legends book or whatever media series, we see a top down view. I think it's a graphic novel of a bathroom in han Solo's cell, that, if I'm gonna be honest with you, it looks an awful
lot like a regular human toilet. Now, if you're like me and this was the start of this, you would look at this and go, now, with all them space aliens and spacemen, couldn't we get something a little more Han? But here's the deal. Han Solo is a human, I think. I'm pretty sure he's human. If it looks like a human and it talks like a human, it probably ain't an alien. I think maybe. I don't know. But he would
have needed those accommodations. So it makes sense that Han Solo is dealing with a very human looking toilet in this. However, there are other bathrooms that we see throughout the series. Again, 45 years, and the data is pretty rife. And by rife, I mean the opposite of rife. In another legend's book, we are told that these bathrooms, which do separate on a number of grounds. More on that in a moment. Have, um, some plumbing fixtures that are specific to specific species.
The idea of how there are a number of differentiating factors to divide who uses what stall is best seen in the Clone Wars TV show, where, in the background of a shot, there is this bathroom and this sign for a bathroom. You don't ever see the bathroom. We'll get to that. But on the bathroom sign, it has the regular symbols for, like, human man and what appears to be human
woman. But then there's other, what I like to call wild and crazy symbols that look like things with tentacles and other sort of space alien situations. In short, what we find out through this data is that alien species in Star wars, some have a different way of getting rid of fluids and, dare I say, dumpies. And I like to think of the alien from, like, I think it's scary movie three, where he, like, pees out his finger. Yeah, what a whack idea that movie was. But I digress.
We learn from another of sources and places in the Star wars world that they don't use the word bathroom or restroom or privy. They're, like, halfway afraid to say the word. Rather. In the Star wars universe, bathrooms are referred to as refreshers. Huh? Now, why the Star wars world won't use the word bathroom is a thing of speculation. But in short, though, I believe the reason is it's just to add some air of futuristic
Sci-Fi eness. Like, if you roll up into the Sci-Fi novel and they're just calling it the toilet, that's not Sci-Fi, that's not future. But if you call them, ooh, the refresher, um, you got something else going on there, and you're like, oh, now you have my attention. Uh, you don't use the word bathroom or restroom. You use the refresher. And what's even better is a refresher is one of those fruity, like, fake energy drink things at Starbucks. And so it gives a whole new meaning to
slurping, uh, on a refresher. Am I right or am I right? One futuristic accoutrement of the Star wars world found inside the refreshers was the mention of what is called a sonic shower. Now, um, this. A sonic shower is a shower, but it is a shower that is waterless and seems to use either water or sonic waves, sonic vibrations, to get you clean, kill bacteria. And I think it's the same explanation
as, like, doctor who's sonic screwdriver. It's like, oh, it uses sonic technology to unlock the nonsense. It's Sci-Fi fantasy. It doesn't have to make sense. But they have these waterless showers that sonic vibrate the air and kill the bacteria and get you clean. I don't know. But I wonder if when they were developing this in the Star wars world, did they have, like, a brown note, uh, experience where they just shazzed royal from the sheer sonic vibrations that they stood inside of? I'd
like that graphic novel. I don't know who the current Star wars characters are. I think there's, like, a ray and a Poe and a Finn, and those are boring names. But, yeah, I'd like a graphic novel of one of them hitting up the sonic shower and getting the frequency wrong, and they perform a waffle stomp because they goofed on that adjustment. I would read that. But here's the other wild thing. If you had to guess, if I sat you down, listener friend, if you will. And you had to guess how far in
Star Wars's fit. No, in Star Wars's 45 year long run, how far into those 45 years did it take for Star wars to show us a picture of the inside of one of these refreshers? How long would you have guessed? Go ahead. We'll pull a little Dora the explorer moment of fun here. Go ahead. That's right. It took 40 years, 40 years to even get a real look at a Star wars bathroom. There had been, like, eleven or twelve movies, countless TV shows released, and not once did anybody say, hey, you
know what? Be interesting. Let's see where Jabba de hut takes his big, big jabbas. Like, show me that. No, it was not until the, uh, year 2020 of our Lord that they finally showed a refresher in Star wars. Now, Mr. Lucas, please tell us why it took so long. I mean, we know about so much in the Star wars world, and there's all this fandom, and it took, like, 40 years. 40 years to show just the inside of a toilet.
And we get our first look at this in an episode of the Mandalorian where I believe it's on his ship. Uh, we get a view of the inside of a refresher. And what's super wild is there's some tubes and some suction valves that are interesting, at least. Um, we are told that there is a suction tube, and it is presumably to remove
fluids. Uh, and in this picture, first, it's very grayscale and in the background, um, and it's kind of just overwashed with brown, which I think is another way to describe kind of Star Wars's whole artistic vibe. Recently overwashed with brown. Um, but in all that time, it almost looks like a roadside rest stop toilet, but in a spaceship with a couple of levers and funnels around it. Man. I'm, um, 95% sure we talked about how astronauts go poo poo in space.
I'm pretty sure that they got some cooler looking technology than what we had in Star wars in this. But whatever. They made a shower that showers you with sound waves. Could we not have done something more than just, like, a vacuum sucked tube for our leavings? And I will admit, it's later reported that these refreshers, like our space toilets in real life, can convert some of the leavings into other usable compounds. We're. It's. At the
time of this recording, it's April. We just had a bunch of Arbor Day and Earth Day things. Reuse. Uh, Star wars, old mandalorian Boba Fet, django Fett, tango Fett, wrangle Fett are up there. They're reduced reuse and recycling in the best way possible. Get that suction tube up on that mess, boys. Uh, here at privy, we wish they would have covered this more, even if it's just, like, a short film or, like I said, maybe like, one of those graphic novels detailing, like, Star Wars's first waffle
stomp on record. Star wars is so futuristic, but there's something about it that is so old feeling. You know what? I wish there was something more. But that futuristic feeling, you know what's not futuristic feeling? Falling headlong into a portable toilet to get your cell phone. Um, and that brings us to a very special installment of who in the news? It, this, um, article is a, is a local news article here, uh, in Oregon. It comes to us from Fox Twelve Oregon, uh,
by writer Deborah Dolan. Uh, and the article is titled woman falls headfirst into vault toilet trying to retrieve cell phone. Rescuers say. And so this takes place in Brennan, Washington, actually. So it's a little up north of here. Um, firefighters say that after, I guess, rescuing her, that this woman had dove headlong into a vault toilet. Like an outhouse style vault toilet.
And the firefighters are actually shocked because they're like, listen, she could have been seriously injured by the toxic gases. And a woman in her 40s dropped her cell phone into the, into the vault while using the toilet on the top, uh, of Mount Walker. She took apart the seat and used her dog's leash to try to fish the phone out. But after she couldn't dig it out with the leash, she decided to tie the leash off and use the leash
to, quote, support herself. Um, when that failed, she fell in headfirst. Now, headfirst into what, you may ask? Well, I think you all know. Have you ever been to the state fair? You know how at the state fair, uh, when you're like, you've had like an 18 inch hot dog, uh, cut dog. And everybody at the state fair has just eaten what we like to call greasy, the greasy mess. And there's those porta potties as you leave.
As you leave the state fair. And inside those porta potties is what I like to call the great american brown sludge. Well, when this lady fell headfirst, that's what she fell headfirst into. She tried to climb out, uh, for about 15 to 20 minutes. But now that she's in there, she has her phone. And at that point, she used her phone to call 911 for help. Crews with the Brennan fire department, uh, I don't know this one. But Kilson's fire rescue, um, they made this platform for the woman
to stand on and pulled her up to safety. And thankfully she wasn't hurt. They got her out, they hosed her down and they gave her a hazmat suit to wear before she was checked. And it's a reminder. And, um, once something goes into a Porta potty like reservoir. Uh, my question to you all, and feel free to shout at me in an email, privycast@gmail.com. Or shout at us on social at, uh, privycast. But let us know if you dropped your cell phone into the great american brown sludge, would you
go in after it? And to what extent would you go in after it? Because in this episode of Poo in the news, this lady went fully deep and went for it and did fall in and land, quote, headfirst into the great american brown sludge. This has been a short but very sweet installment of poo in the news. Thank you, Mr. Domini, Mr. Dave Domini for submitting this week's poo in the news. If you find bathroom or poo related media and articles, things happening in pop culture, send
them on in. We'd love to have them in a special installment of poo in the news. Um, and let us know if you're going after it. As we round out the, um, end of the show here, I want to just do a couple of shout outs. One is, um, a little bit different than the normal things at the end of the show. Uh, I had the astute pleasure of being on my good buddy Jesse's podcast, pickled parables again. Um, and so that episode is already out. You can go back and
listen to it. Um, I had the pleasure of doing a lesson and teaching about the temple. And so if you are interested in kind of a bible based thing, go check that out. Jesse's doing good work over pickled parables. Uh, we might even stick a link in the doodly bopper down below there. But yeah, follow us on social media. We're at privycast. We're trying to get toilet Tuesdays, bathroom dumpy videos, uh, all sorts of nonsense going on over there. So come follow us. Share your toilet, um,
Tuesday and bathroom nonsense. Um, let's get that popping off. You can send us an email episode suggestion, ideas, thoughts, feedback, anything you'd like. Privycast@gmail.com we'd love to hear from, uh, we it's cool to hear from the folks who are listening. Uh, as always, we want to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of barroom ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find Kevin's music at ah, incompetent.org and his music is licensed under Creative Commons license Attribution
40. Thanks, Kevin. We would also like to thank Pottington Bear for the use of camp as the poo in the news. Intro and outro music. You can find Pottington Bear's music@pottingtonbear.com. Thanks, Pottington thank you all for listening and joining me here again. Uh, I hope you have had a wonderful Star wars day and a happy cinco de Mayo. And now, as always, and whether or not they'd have been able to on the Star wars spaceships, don't forget to flush.