>> Speaker A: The yappin is so dark. Yeah, I thought about that, too. It just comes in, and it's just you and I sitting in here, lit by our phones. >> Speaker B: Are you guys sharing that one can of root beer or. >> Speaker A: I see you guys have one can of you. You have one can of root beer and two microphones, and none of that should really ever enter the toilet to. >> Speaker B: Uh, root beer can ratio is one to one. So you tell me.
>> Speaker A: It's perfect, as far as I'm concerned. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded this week. I am so far off location this week that, um, we might be trespassing, question mark. I'm also joined, uh, by a former guest of the show and friend of me, Josh, uh, Worman. Josh, how we doing? >> Speaker B: So good, so good. Love a good
porta potty. Yeah. >> Speaker A: So, uh, we are air quotes on location at the handicap, uh, access, large porta potty, I cannot stress. Um, we have managed to both fit plus a table, plus an extra chair, and I would argue we could stick a third or fourth person in here, easy. Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: You get one person standing behind the guardrail, we're in. >> Speaker A: Yeah, there's like, a. Oh, that is not connected. Okay. >> Speaker B: Um, five people, then. Yeah.
>> Speaker A: Anyway, um, so we're fully in here. Uh, both our wives know that we are here, and, um, you were sharing a little bit about your wife's. >> Speaker B: My wife informed me that if the police take us to jail, I'm staying the night. >> Speaker A: I don't think the police can take us to jail for this, can they? No. >> Speaker B: Okay, worst case scenario, we say, hey, we found all this stuff in here when we were going to the bathroom.
>> Speaker A: No, worst case scenario, I would just be like, hey, you're right. Like, you're right. Give me five minutes, and I'll have everything out of here, and it'll all be kosher. I'm not doing drugs. I'm not killing anyone. Yet. Wait, dude. My luck would be they would knock on the door and pop the door open, and then we file out, and then they would search it, and somebody totally dropped a bag of dope or something in here. That would be our luck. Yeah. And then we get to explain to
our job at the high school. Hey, uh, we're not going to be there tomorrow. >> Speaker B: We were recording a podcast, and, uh, turns out that seems like it's. People hide drugs in those. >> Speaker A: Yeah, it seems like it's safe while we were in the Porta potty. Well, I mean, that's dumb, but it also doesn't seem bad. Oh, we were on school property while we were in the Porta potty. As grown adults, it's not our strongest moment. >> Speaker B: I'm not going to lie.
>> Speaker A: You know what I like to remind myself right now is that a mere 1213 hours from now, there's going to be a bunch of teenagers right outside. Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: The best part would be like if somebody knocked, I would instantly have nervous gas. This whole room would smell like we just took a big old in here and it would just be me fidgeting. Hi. >> Speaker A: Could you imagine somebody just like, because people
walk their dog around track. Could you imagine somebody just walk it up and then just hear you and I in here? >> Speaker B: Now we're going to get out and it's just going to be like six people slow clapping, great podcast. >> Speaker A: Or we're going to get out and there's going to be three police cars facing the thing. Like, put your hands, um, up. Yeah, um, it's wild. Well, it's been over a year since you was
on the show. Um, yes. And in that year, well, we've spent a year together, but I would say the last year has been a more concentrated year than the previous one. Um, for my. Yeah, we've picked each other's kids up. Picked each other's kids up from Disney. >> Speaker B: Or plot gameStop, dude. >> Speaker A: Um, I was trying to explain to the teens tonight at church of all places, like my thing with Disney, and they all stared at me like I was a complete buffoon. They were like,
they just looked at me. Yeah, but they just looked at me like one of them said, you're old. And then I tried to also explain to them how YouTube started and they kind of understood what I was saying, but they were also kind of like, what do you mean? >> Speaker B: You mean it's an app? Before the app, it was on the website, dude, you had to type in Www to get to use. >> Speaker A: What's a website? Do you mean my app? Because I have an app for everything,
but I just want to hit kids. It's like, hey, you know McDonald's has a website, right? >> Speaker B: No, what's a website? What's an app? No, you just download. >> Speaker A: Yeah, no, they have an app. >> Speaker B: No, they have a website at the window partner. And they scan it. >> Speaker A: Um, and last we recorded, you shared a bit. Not a lot, but, uh, just a little quick check in. How has your life been with the diapering? Has
the diapering increased? Are we trending towards less diapering in your life with the children? >> Speaker B: It's consistent. Consistent for the last six years it's just been one diaper after another. Every time I think we're done, there's another baby, more diaper. I mean, you should be out of. >> Speaker A: The woods with the baby thing. >> Speaker B: One would think. >> Speaker A: Well, one would hope as well. >> Speaker B: Yeah. Uh, a
vasectomy only goes one of two ways. Yeah. >> Speaker A: And you haven't committed to go test it, so you're working with a lot of question marks. >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's like playing russian roulette. Just going for it, see what happens. >> Speaker A: Yeah, that doesn't usually end well. Or it does sometimes. Surprise. Kids are the best kids. >> Speaker B: I don't know. Two out of three of mine were surprised.
>> Speaker A: But the important thing is that you never identify which two. That way, they'll always think it's not them. >> Speaker B: First and third. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: Second. Uh, one was planned. I like her least. No, I'm just kidding. >> Speaker A: Oh, man, that's so funny, dude. Your kids are awesome, though. Um, as always, feel free. It's getting gradually darker. Yeah, it is. Feel free. As always, if you, as we are going, come up with, uh,
just. I have a bathroom story, and you might have a new one or one that you thought of after. Stop me at any time. >> Speaker B: So I'm going to stop you there. >> Speaker A: Perfect. >> Speaker B: So today, fun transition. My kids in the bedroom just playing. And I go in to check on. I'm like, hey, Gabriel, what are you doing? And I hear music, and the music is, we poop when we pee. We poop when we pee. But not the other way. Or, no, I'm sorry. We pee when
we poop. We pee when we poop, but not the other way. Stating. And it was his Alexa. >> Speaker A: Oh, he's like, playing it. >> Speaker B: It's Alexa playing music. And that is the m music. Lyrics of the music coming out. I said, gabriel, what are you doing? And he goes, I just asked Alexa to play songs about pooping. And I said, all right, bud. >> Speaker A: Your kids fun. Kids are so fun.
>> Speaker B: He's just in the bedroom with his sister, playing Legos, listening to songs about poop. >> Speaker A: Building memories, just making memories with the sister. >> Speaker B: He's like, what are we doing? And he just looked at me like, sometimes you need a song about poop. What do you want, dad? >> Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, dude. My son.
We went up to this men's thing out in the woods yesterday with the church guys, but they had this rope swing, which I don't do heights, and I'm impervious to peer pressure. Like, it doesn't work. And there was definitely being peer pressure, like Cutter's got to get on this. Uh, and it's not happening. Friends. Like, it's just not happening. But my son, it is an improvement. But my son, he says my dad would be the biggest lunchbox on that swing if he got on it. And I'm like, you turd
my dad. You're like a big lunchbox. I'm like, where do you hear this? Dang it, kid. You little rascal. Um, yeah, kids are wild. Um, so I have a number of new questions that are, like, round two. >> Speaker B: Uh, bring it. >> Speaker A: And some that are a little specific, that are specific to you as you relate to life in the school. Um, and I don't remember if I asked you this last time. I may have. You might have been right at the cusp.
>> Speaker B: My answers may have changed. >> Speaker A: The question is, do you ever have a snack in the shower? Um, I think you may have said something about pizza. >> Speaker B: So I have had pizza in the shower. It's not a go to snack. Gets a little moist. >> Speaker A: That's a wet slice. >> Speaker B: Um, and it's been a long time since I had pizza when, um, watermelon is good, and you can get a good piece of watermelon.
Nothing wrong with a good piece of watermelon. Um, strawberries. I can't eat strawberries. And you know that this is an emotional topic for me, and I don't need to get into it. Um, babe, he said he was going. >> Speaker A: To be nice, and he wasn't. >> Speaker B: It's fine. Whatever. Yeah. Um, anything in a can. A root beer. Which, on another note. Yeah, root beer in a porta potty. Not a bad move. Not a bad move.
>> Speaker A: I didn't get my life organized enough to have the polar seltzer tonight. Uh, I just didn't, um. I had a prime energy or a prime Gatorade, uh, thing in the shower yesterday. The bottle is different. Something about that metal can that feels right. >> Speaker B: Uh, it gets a little condensation on the outside, and you're like, whoa. Yeah, sometimes, um, just hits right.
>> Speaker A: It does hit very well. Um, yeah, I definitely think that you've been here before, so we're going to get into it. Have you ever tasted deodorant? >> Speaker B: Have I tasted deodorant? Not intentionally, I think. >> Speaker A: Well, then how did you accidentally. I mean, if you say you licked your wife's armpit, I'm going to be pissed. >> Speaker B: No, I've never licked my wife's armpit. Might be something to try that. Okay. Uh, no, but it's not.
>> Speaker A: It can't be. >> Speaker B: No, I can't say that I've ever, like, your kids are going to maybe one day. Dad, what happened to mom's armpit? >> Speaker A: How come your armpits have hair and moms don't touch her? Is it because you lick mom's armpits? Oh, my gosh. Also, don't throw your head back too far. You're going to like, hand sanitizer, jizz your shoulder, and it's going to be bad. >> Speaker B: It's fine. Just rub it all in.
>> Speaker A: Cooper's own is going to be all. >> Speaker B: Over your back inside of a Porta potty right now. It can't hurt me. >> Speaker A: You're going to get a little Cooper's own all down your back. >> Speaker B: Uh, hot Cooper's own? Yeah. >> Speaker A: What brand? Yeah. >> Speaker B: Anyway, it says hand sanitizer. Um, maybe that's the brand. Cooper's own. >> Speaker A: But you've accidentally.
>> Speaker B: I don't want to say accidentally. When you're a kid, when you're in high school aged area and you go to parks and you play basketball and stuff, there's always the guy that's got like, I'm going to take my shirt off and play. It's the summer and I need to show everyone how swole I am. Yeah, I imagine there was a time where I got an armpit to the face or something and then some sweat ran down, but nothing that I can.
Indirect? Yeah, indirect, for sure. Would you ever, like, just like a candy bar? Yeah. >> Speaker A: Because people have done that. >> Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it would have to be like a specific scenario. Like, hey, I'm not taking a bite of old spice. >> Speaker A: Like a triple dog. Dare you. Would you do it? I'm not triple dog. I don't have deodorant on me. >> Speaker B: On a budget deodorant? Yeah, probably. But, like, a high end
deodorant. I'm not taking a bite of old spice. Too expensive. Old spice is too expensive. It's like $4 a stick now, man. >> Speaker A: Oh, dog 2023. Hey, this might be too much information, and she might be pissed for me asking, but what in the heck is Kayla spreading under armpits? Because my wife has some deodorant that's like $9 a. >> Speaker B: It's Kayla's way too cheap for that.
>> Speaker A: And it's because it's, like, all natural and it doesn't have all the weird stuff that clogs your pores. >> Speaker B: I think it's just, like, secret or dove. One of the. Oh, uh, flashlights are going on. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure the flashlight on. >> Speaker B: We're getting dark. It's getting dark. >> Speaker A: The only other hope that we have is we can always prop the door with the extra chair. >> Speaker B: That's true.
>> Speaker A: Little peek for safety. We're fine. >> Speaker B: No homeless people yet. >> Speaker A: You're sleeping in my home. Dang it. >> Speaker B: I'll fight you for it. Oh, if a homeless person threatens to fight us, I'm probably going to just. >> Speaker A: I'm probably going to give him a $20 bill and say you didn't see anything. >> Speaker B: Go away. >> Speaker A: Go to McDonald's. How about this? I'm going to give you
$10. I'll see you in 45 minutes. >> Speaker B: And I'm going to say, I'm going to let him give you $10. I'm going to sit right here unless you get aggressive. I'm a hugger, not a fighter. And, uh, we're not hugging. Uh, no. It's probably, like, secret or dove or one of the standard. >> Speaker A: So have I ever told you my thing? >> Speaker B: No. Okay, well, what thing? >> Speaker A: The deodorant thing. >> Speaker B: I know you've taken a bite.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. So it was one of those, like, $910 sticks because it was, like, yummy smelling. >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. You got to try it. >> Speaker A: And so my thought was, it has to be. >> Speaker B: If it's nontoxic, you might as well try. >> Speaker A: It's all natural. That's why I went for it. >> Speaker B: Why not? >> Speaker A: I couldn't swallow it. >> Speaker B: Oh. Little chalky.
>> Speaker A: No, it turns to just straight oil scent in your mouth, and then you're, like, smelling your own. I don't know. It's awful. Absolutely, um, terrible. Uh, so it made me want to throw up. Speaking of which, have you ever been thrown up on? Like, has anyone thrown up on you other than your kids spitting up? That does not count. >> Speaker B: Does it count if my kids have full on thrown up? >> Speaker A: Absolutely. >> Speaker B: Um, no.
>> Speaker A: Does it count if my kids threw up? But it still hasn't happened. You've never had anybody throw up on you ever? >> Speaker B: Not that I can really. Even. Like, when you were firefighting and stuff. >> Speaker A: I feel like there had to been someone, like, someone had a stroke. >> Speaker B: Someone threw up on my shoe, but it's not. Yeah, but it wasn't to feel good about, uh, it's like, uh. >> Speaker A: You son of a gun, let me.
>> Speaker B: Borrow your water bottle to just pour a little off real quick. >> Speaker A: So I only wear cloth shoes. It's kind of like, well, as a. >> Speaker B: Firefighter, you have to wear the boots. Like the head. Ah. >> Speaker A: You know, it'd be funny if you just came in with, like, fur topped boots as a firefighter one day. >> Speaker B: Uggs pair of uggs. You just walk, rolling around with full turnout. Your ugg boots, your mask.
>> Speaker A: What's that, boys? >> Speaker B: And you're just like, hey, slide down. >> Speaker A: The pole with your ugg boots on. >> Speaker B: You mean you didn't wear your uggs to the fire? What are you even doing? We live in Oregon. It's raining and cold. >> Speaker A: I can be whatever I want here. It's the land of make believe. Um. So dumb. Um, have you ever thrown up on someone? >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. My poor mother.
>> Speaker A: As a kid. How about as an adult? You ever hit your wife with one? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Because do you guys not deal with vomit? >> Speaker B: Kayla does. Okay. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Uh oh. No, I'm lying. I am totally lying. >> Speaker A: Everybody has a vomit story. >> Speaker B: Picked up Gabriel from preschool driving over the overpass on Pacific. Had to pull in. He's like, dad, I
don't feel good. I'm like, okay, pull over. Human being at home furniture. Everyone knows the parking lot. Pull in, open up the door. My dude turns his face right down the front of my shirt. Okay, there was that one. That was a couple of years ago, though, and completely forgot about that. But my pickup smells so bad for, like. >> Speaker A: Is it the one you have now still? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: What do we got?
>> Speaker B: We got a spider coming down from right here. Okay, sorry. Oh, it's dead. It's dead. >> Speaker A: Kill confirmed. >> Speaker B: Anyways, um, we've got. >> Speaker A: I thought it was a yellow jacket. I thought, dude, I was getting ready to upturn this whole table to get out of here. >> Speaker B: I wish it would have been a beer yellow jacket or something. >> Speaker A: Cute, but, um, totally defecated.
>> Speaker B: Definitely my pickup I have right now. Um, uh, had to take everything out. Had to spray the whole thing down with disinfectant. And it smelled. I rolled, what? Middle of, like, November. And I'm driving with all four windows down. It's just pouring down rain. My sleeves wet. I'm like, it's puke. Or driving the rain. >> Speaker A: The rain is helping wash. >> Speaker B: The smell of puke is almost worse than puke.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: It's just so. >> Speaker A: Agree. >> Speaker B: Yeah. Um, as far as me wet. No, Kayla handles it better than I do. >> Speaker A: Really? >> Speaker B: Um, but when she pukes, you would never know. It's just this quiet. >> Speaker A: Oh, really? >> Speaker B: Like, super quiet. She's just like, hey, I don't feel good. I'll be back in a few minutes. Me, I'm the hike. The house shakes. Yeah, you've heard me.
Like, that's how it is. But ten times louder. >> Speaker A: That's how Anna is. Like, a violent vomiter. Yeah, she'll love that. >> Speaker B: I've said that. Yeah, I'm aggressive. My whole body hurts because I have been bear hugging the toilet for. And it's never like a quick thing for me. Like a one and done. It's like, no, we're going to spend an hour here, and every couple of minutes we're just going to go for it. Yeah, I hate it.
>> Speaker A: But hey, uh, yes, if I'm vomiting, things have gone very bad because I will go to the end of the earth to not. Yeah, I hate it. The people that are like, oh, if you just throw up, you'll feel better. I can't get behind that. >> Speaker B: I'm like, let's just get it done. Like, I'm in the bathroom hyping myself up. Like, come on, let's go. Just get it done.
>> Speaker A: So quick. 20 minutes. Check in here. What's the smell doing for you in this Porta potty right now? >> Speaker B: You know, it's not bad. >> Speaker A: It's not bad, but it exists. >> Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, I'm drinking a root beer. How much can the smell? >> Speaker A: I'm also sitting on top of it. I did put the lid down. I was a little worried when I pulled
up. That's why I brought the extra chair, because I was like, if there's not a lid, like a seat lid, we're just sitting. I said, I'm freaking doing a chair. There's no way. >> Speaker B: Definitely particle particles floating around. Uh, the. >> Speaker A: There's definitely a lake of crap because I looked and there's defoe a bunch there. Oh, yeah. Um, but you can't go into porta. >> Speaker B: Potty and not look. No, it's like a rule. You go in, you look.
>> Speaker A: Do you ever look at your poop at home? >> Speaker B: Oh, every time. Every time. >> Speaker A: So do you get frustrated when you go to look, but you've used so much paper that you can't see the turd? That pisses me off. >> Speaker B: Yes. I'm pretty solid, so it doesn't happen often. The one that really. >> Speaker A: Well, what does solid have to do with anything? >> Speaker B: They're not little logs here. That's what
pisses me off, though. Oh, when you've got to work for one and then you turn around to look and you're just like, it's just. >> Speaker A: A little rabbit dropping. >> Speaker B: What is that? Uh, I'm almost mad. I'm like, I'm going to sit back down until this is done properly. >> Speaker A: I'm going to stretch this time just in case that's what happened. >> Speaker B: Yeah. And it's like an irrational anger. Like, I'll walk out of the bathroom,
and people are like, you good? Leave me alone. It was a bad time. Why? >> Speaker A: So this is a question. >> Speaker B: Just dive in. What are we doing here? >> Speaker A: It's kind of a philosophical thing, and it's not on this. Do you think your turd is tapered on the end because your butthole slams shut and it's like, that's the effect? Or is the turd tapered by design to help keep your butthole from slamming shut? >> Speaker B: So I think what I believe is that.
>> Speaker A: What do you believe? You know how when you got, like. >> Speaker B: You'Re at, like, a sizzler or you're at like, yeah, you're working the McFlurry machine or whatever, and how at the end it's kind of just that you're putting it back and it's just a slow cut off? Yeah, I think it's like that. I like to think of it like that. >> Speaker A: So it's kind of tapered by design. >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's peaceful. It's just like a slow finish.
>> Speaker A: I'm convinced that my whole. You're fine. Like I said, the little vibrates are so much better than the normal sounds that happen in a porta potty. >> Speaker B: Uh, yeah, that's pretty true, dude, how. >> Speaker A: Funny would it be if, like, kids are just coming to school and there's just somebody in here just screaming one out? Just like, it's parent drop off and some homeless dudes in here just like, get out. >> Speaker B: Get out.
>> Speaker A: Void me. This is a question for the ladies. But a lot of ladies that are like, yeah, I'm just jonesing to get on a show about bathrooms. >> Speaker B: We live in Oregon. There's no such thing as ladies. Everybody is what they want to be. >> Speaker A: It's the land of make believe. Uh, do you think women do? Okay, I think it varies. But when women poop and they are on their period, do you think they have to change their tampon every time?
Okay, so your son has the music in his room. Every time you poo is a pee time. But not every pee time is a poo time. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: So, by that logic, to me, if you've got a thing yanked up your zone and you go to poop, it's going to come out. >> Speaker B: You got to think, you got to change it. Right?
>> Speaker A: Right. So my question to women, and if there's any women out there that are going to hear this, which I know that that doesn't exist, but, um, if you hear this and you're like, I want to set the record straight. Set the record straight. But if a woman had diarrhea. We're going through. >> Speaker B: So, so related to.
>> Speaker A: That here in the state of Oregon, in our beloved state, uh, our beloved governor, um, has passed a nonsense that says that we got to put tampons and maxi pads in every bathroom that children use. Lady Da. Um, regardless of whether or not they have the equipment on their body to need those products or want those products, whatever. Um, so I want to get your pulse because you work at the school and I know where my pulse is at. How do you think that's going?
>> Speaker B: Well, one of them had all of them pulled out and stuffed into one toilet. Yeah, I know that. One of them was ripped off the wall and taken away completely. Um, one of them. >> Speaker A: Wait, do you mean that our adults in training, teenagers, didn't handle this responsibly and they didn't say, I love this gender confirming thing? >> Speaker B: Yes, the male population at the high school level did not enjoy it. Well, no, they enjoyed it, but they
enjoyed it in a different way than I think was intended. Um, soaking them in a toilet or in a sink and using them as a dodgeball is one way that they enjoyed it. Uh, um, hanging the holder. >> Speaker A: Good move. >> Speaker B: On a wall. And using the, uh, items as a basketball in the hallway. You just kind of added a new toy for all these high school boys. >> Speaker A: If you are in charge of the department of education in the state of Oregon right now.
Um, hi. I know you don't listen. Frig off. Um, you should be pissed at your governor right now because I, uh, imagine you have to have gotten some complaints. And, yeah, it's bedlam out here. >> Speaker B: Oh, boy. The men's referrals have been written. Let's just call it referrals. Many have been written. >> Speaker A: Yeah, the almighty referral. >> Speaker B: Who doesn't want to go bowling with a bunch of tampons from the
boys bathroom? You know, a sentence that should never. >> Speaker A: Be a sentence that someone not from here is going to hear and go, maybe that is make believe. >> Speaker B: Like, not make believe. This is our one bit. >> Speaker A: This is our reality. >> Speaker B: Um, Logan Paul and Jake Paul would be happy. >> Speaker A: I don't know who Jake Paul is. He is the other Paul.
>> Speaker B: The other Paul brother, uh, would be more than happy to know that their prime bottles are being used as tampon. Bowling ball. >> Speaker A: You. Hey, gentlemen. Or gentle whatevers you are. I don't know what you are. Um, to my knowledge, you got red, green, blue, and I think you got, like, a tricolor thing. >> Speaker B: There's a white one. >> Speaker A: There's a white one. But what I'm noticing is that you haven't hit the
full spectrum color of the rainbow. And out here in Oregon, I'm here to tell you, um, you're not being informed about people's whatever. >> Speaker B: If you get a rainbow bottle, though, bet your sales go up double. >> Speaker A: Well, only if you do it right, because target, like, oh, here we go. The QAnon people are going to flood. >> Speaker B: Out of the bushes to come. >> Speaker A: Did I hear somebody say something bad about target?
But, like, target tried the whole. And Budweiser, Bud lighter. Whoever it was tried the whole, like, pride thing. >> Speaker B: We have a door check. >> Speaker A: Yeah, let's do a door check. That, uh, vehicle sounded close. It is incredibly dark. Yeah, we're good. We're good. Oh, man, this is getting sketchier and sketchier by the minute. It's so dark outside. >> Speaker B: It's 711, and we are sitting in a porta potty lit by the.
>> Speaker A: I kid you not, two cell phone lights and the faint glow of red from my recorder. >> Speaker B: Uh, and our happiness times are good right now. Times are good. Hey, we got one root beer can. >> Speaker A: We got one root beer. Uh, I did kill a spider. Hey, we're fully stocked on toilet paper, though. Wait. >> Speaker B: Single fly. >> Speaker A: That's better than the crap they have at our school to wipe stack.
>> Speaker B: That is better. That's good. >> Speaker A: That is not bad. >> Speaker B: That is double. Is this a honey pot? >> Speaker A: No. If it was a honey pot, I would have already taken a picture. >> Speaker B: Honey bucket. >> Speaker A: If it was a honey bucket, I would have been all over it. I'm trying to win a
Porta potty from honey bucket right now. If you work for honey bucket, shout at me, because I would love to have one of your very good pot to do this in regularly. Um, I'm going to give you a promise, honey bucket. If I get a honey bucket from you, I will never take a crap in it. It'll be the cleanest honey bucket on the face of the earth because I intend to make it a recording studio. >> Speaker B: Best recording studio ever. We could buy the heaters from the hanging
wall. Heaters. >> Speaker A: We just make this a regular. >> Speaker B: Yep. >> Speaker A: What's going on? Well, it's Sunday night. Josh and Hunter are in the middle school Porta potty recording again. >> Speaker B: Can we get these two their own? Um, Porta potty, please? Yeah. >> Speaker A: Hey, honey bucket, if you care at. >> Speaker B: All, they're weirding out the homeless people. >> Speaker A: You will help us not have to do this.
We both have families. There's a lot on the line here. Uh, but no, this tampon in the bathroom thing, it's one of those things where, like, as an adult, I know they exist. Actually, a question for you. When was the first time you had to interact with tampons in life as a male person because you have a sister? Never mind. Uh, I made a really terrible error. >> Speaker B: Uh, no, I never interacted with them, with her because when was the first. >> Speaker A: Time you saw one?
>> Speaker B: I don't know, man. The store. But other than that. M. It was a store, dude. I remember they sell tampons in the store. >> Speaker A: I never went over there. >> Speaker B: I mean, you got to walk by it. >> Speaker A: No, my life was so different. Like, when I went to Walmart, I ran to the video games, and I was in the video games, and my mom shopped the store until she got to the video game aisle, at which point she picked me up.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. So I forget you're from, like, a town of 30 people. >> Speaker A: They had a, um, here in Oregon, someone's going to drug you in the butt and then do something else in the butt with you. >> Speaker B: Spank you in the butt. That has never been my experience. >> Speaker A: I hope not. >> Speaker B: I hope not. No, I would say it was probably. I don't know. I bought my wife tampons one time. >> Speaker A: Before you were married?
>> Speaker B: Yeah. I was running to the store, and she was like, hey, was it weird? No, but it's whatever. >> Speaker A: You and I are so different. >> Speaker B: It's whatever. >> Speaker A: So I remember 8th grade, somebody like this girl, Becca harden. Sorry, Becca. >> Speaker B: Shouts out Becca. >> Speaker A: Yes. Sorry, Becca. Um, people were very mean to her, which sucks, because to my knowledge, she's a very nice person. Um, I was never mean to her.
Becca. Never mind. We're not talking to you. But I remember she walked by this kid on the bus. He, like, unzipped her bag, and all of her tampons fell out on the bus. And I remember just being like. People were laughing, and I didn't understand the joke. >> Speaker B: What are they? >> Speaker A: And then it wasn't until, like, five years later that I found out what those were. Yes. That was after I turned 18 and came to Oregon. Um, I found out what
they were. Yeah. I also didn't find out how many holes a woman, uh, has until, like, I was probably 2019 or 20. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker A: I was in college, uh, I was in college in a dorm room, and my buddy had an anatomy textbook, and we were all looking at it, and he went, huh? I said, what? He goes, it's actually two. >> Speaker B: It's actually two. >> Speaker A: And I went, what do you mean? And I looked and I went, oh, my
gosh. I thought they just peed out. They're the same. Did I? And I'm pretty sure Anna responded the same way you did, which was just laughter. Like, how? And it's like the short answer is religion and the long answer is Montana education. We're teaching them how to be adults. Um, yeah, but no. >> Speaker B: Why are we. >> Speaker A: Talking so much about tampons? You're like, I don't know, dog. It's your thing. >> Speaker B: Have them hanging on a wall in our school.
>> Speaker A: In the men's staff bathroom, too. >> Speaker B: It's just like, I can't go to the bathroom without running into tampons. >> Speaker A: That's what I was going to go with, is like, I know I did not, other than Becca's in 8th grade, which, that was a total fluke. But if that hadn't happened, I would have never interacted with these products until I was well into. And, like, now pretty much, uh, they have them in our bathroom at the elementary school.
In the gym bathroom. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: And it's like, so now, like first grade, you go to the bathroom during gym class. What's that? Oh, that's a tampon. >> Speaker B: Well, what's that? >> Speaker A: Well, I don't know. I don't want a teacher explaining that to my kid. >> Speaker B: Yeah, I wouldn't want that, but, yeah, I wouldn't want that. This is how. Join us. >> Speaker A: Yeah, join us. M so I know the answer, but I have to ask it.
How do you feel about using your phone on the toilet? >> Speaker B: I got no problem with it. Particle particles everywhere. But, like, they're everywhere. >> Speaker A: What about taking a call or making a call on the toilet? >> Speaker B: I think you and I have had a call on the toilet. >> Speaker A: That's right. >> Speaker B: Same toilet but different toilets while both on the toilet. >> Speaker A: I think that's true.
>> Speaker B: Um, yeah, I've definitely talked to you while pooping before. Yeah, but I mean, you almost can't count you, though, because it's like I've been pooping at work and you've come in to go pee, and we've had conversations. >> Speaker A: You're like, for the love of God, leave me alone. >> Speaker B: And I'm like, hey, is that you? Who is that? >> Speaker A: One day I was pooping and you came in and I totally was like, hello. >> Speaker B: You're just like,
is it you? I'm like, what? >> Speaker A: But then after, I'm like, if it wasn't him, it's just going to be the weirdest interaction. >> Speaker B: Yeah. The south Albany staff bathroom. Like, me casually trying to do my business and the freaking, uh, lights burn out. It's just me sitting in there with my flashlight. Phone being like, hey, hopefully nobody comes in because I'm in here pooping in the dark. Oh, my. Just. >> Speaker A: Just Joanne comes in for that round.
>> Speaker B: Oh, God. >> Speaker A: Hello. Uh, this is the men's room. I know. >> Speaker B: Why is it dark then? >> Speaker A: What's up? No, it. But you, uh, TikTok on the. TikTok on the toilet. You got to do it. >> Speaker B: I'm a toilet talker, for sure. >> Speaker A: So when you're done with that, this is a thing. It's like, when you wash your hands, do you wet first, then soap? Like, do you get wet and then soap yourself?
>> Speaker B: Go dry to dry. >> Speaker A: Really? >> Speaker B: Soap to dry? Yeah, I got to get my hands. I feel like it just creates more bubbles and gets in. >> Speaker A: Really? >> Speaker B: You're letting them rip. >> Speaker A: I've got a problem now. >> Speaker B: What did you have for lunch today? >> Speaker A: Uh, McDonald's. >> Speaker B: Old McDonald's or new McDonald's? Because with you, it was fresh today.
>> Speaker A: McDonald's. >> Speaker B: What'd you get? Royale with cheese. >> Speaker A: I did not get royale. My parents bought. So I was like, I'm going to do the McDouble in a drink situation. >> Speaker B: I go the other way with that McFlurry. Large soda, Big Mac, apple pie. Just really run down the. Run down the. >> Speaker A: It was the classic. Like, we got back, and my mom's like, well, I could make some hot dogs for lunch. I'm like,
yeah, we can do that. And then my son just runs into the room, I want a happy meal, and he knows that grandma's going to get this happy. Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: And you can't say no, because then they look at you like, I'm grandparent. >> Speaker A: Yeah, well, and my mom was like, oh, yeah, let's do that. And it's just. Oh, wet? Um, a little bit. Yeah. Does McDonald's give you the farts? It doesn't usually mean I don't know what's going on.
>> Speaker B: No, no. Mine's essentially, like, the only burger spot that gives me the farts would definitely be, for some reason, when I get the big Carl combo. No, just, it does something to Carl. The big Carl combo. It's a burger, not an actual male. >> Speaker A: Carl just gets way up inside you and just really makes the air move. >> Speaker B: Again, burger, not an actual human male. >> Speaker A: Yes.
>> Speaker B: Making it clear it's fine. You said get way up inside. I would argue there's not a way down inside me. It's definitely working down. >> Speaker A: Yes, I agree. >> Speaker B: Okay, perfect. Um, we're on the same page here. >> Speaker A: So then when you're in the shower, uh, I guess you would wet yourself for oh, that's what the other thing was. >> Speaker B: When you take. >> Speaker A: I'm troubled. >> Speaker B: We have lights outside.
>> Speaker A: There's lights. Please let that be street lights. Oh, thank God. It is. >> Speaker B: How uncomfortable would that have been? We open the door and there's just a man out there. >> Speaker A: That was the most terrifying. So for the listener at home, who doesn't have the luxury of having the visual of this, it's just Josh and I in a poorly lit porta potty. I got nervous parts. Like, I'm talking poorly
lit. Like, we're not even lit by flashlight. It's phone light, so it's dark. And there is a gap underneath the porta potty door, which is an interesting thing. That doesn't normally happen. Um, but, yeah, there was just a light that came underneath, and it. >> Speaker B: Who had spooked us, definitely looked like a flashlight. Yeah. >> Speaker A: I thought for sure we were getting ready to have a visitor.
Um, which is my nightmare. Uh, when you shower, do you wash your legs every time? Do you scrub your legs every time? >> Speaker B: I'll soap them down. I don't know if. Every time. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: So what have I done that day? So I have been. Lately, you and I have been hitting the gym pretty frequently lately. I have been, in fact, uh, like, soaping it all up because it's, you know, you've got sweat and crevices. You just need to get it taken care of.
>> Speaker A: I've got crevices. Like woofie. >> Speaker B: How do you flapjacking, dude, dude, sometimes. >> Speaker A: You get the flapjacks flapping around just. >> Speaker B: Like, uh, yeah, the boobs. The man boobs. >> Speaker A: Yeah, you got that flapjack sweat. You make a pancake. Because I have a buddy who he's telling me that he does not wash his legs. Like, if he wears pants,
if he wears shorts, he washes them. But if he wears pants, he said that he never washes his knee down because as he washes the top portion of his body, it wrenches down and just. It washes itself. Self washing legs. >> Speaker B: Thought. That is not the worst idea I've ever heard. I mean, right? In our world, we have tampons in boys bathrooms, so that's not the worst idea I've ever heard. But I don't know. Are you just moving the dirty down your body? I
feel like if you start at the top, you scrub down. Up there, the dirt that comes off works down to which then you continue down. >> Speaker A: Right. So, uh, then you would need to scrub it. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: But I think. See, for me, I think your shin is probably one of the. Besides your hands and maybe you're like your shin. Yeah. Okay. I almost always wear shorts. >> Speaker B: Yes, agreed.
>> Speaker A: So besides your armpits and your leg pits, which I think is your crotch, but I think when people think of leg pits, they think of the back of the kneecaps. >> Speaker B: Yeah, but back of the knee, that's the back of the knee. That's the back. >> Speaker A: Your leg pits is like where your nutsack connects to your leg. >> Speaker B: Pterodactyl wings. >> Speaker A: Spread them, boys.
>> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Uh, how crazy would it be if I said that and in five minutes there was a cop that said that in real time? Like, I almost want it. No, I don't. I'm not going to test that. >> Speaker B: I don't ever want anybody to be behind me. Boys. >> Speaker A: Uh, help. It is Oregon. Um, hey, I'm going to do something real quick. >> Speaker B: Are you going to take crap? >> Speaker A: No. >> Speaker B: Okay.
>> Speaker A: I'm going to stop this because my battery is fading fast. I'm going to swap batteries and we're. >> Speaker B: Going to go again. >> Speaker A: Pardon that interruption. All right. Yeah. I don't know. For me, when I pee, I can feel the leg splash. >> Speaker B: Yeah. Especially in the top to floor to ceiling urinals we have. They're not floor to ceiling. They go about chest. It feels like a lot.
>> Speaker A: But when I pee in that, I can definitely feel the splash on my right, below my low shin. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: I've got to wash that, but I guess if you wear pants, might not need to. I don't know. It's a weird theory. Um, do you ever trace patterns in the bowl when you pee? >> Speaker B: Oh, I write my name exclusively. A practice cursive calligraphy. All of it. >> Speaker A: Do you really?
>> Speaker B: I write my name quite a bit. Really? Yeah. I don't know. I like doing it on the wall, too, if I pee outside. >> Speaker A: Uh, are you controlling with hip or are you controlling with hand? >> Speaker B: Bit of both. I'll double up. >> Speaker A: Keepers. >> Speaker B: Age creepers. I mean, when you've been writing your name with your pee for. I don't know. >> Speaker A: Um, so when you were in Colorado, you got snow, right?
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Did you ever do that with the snow, like, pee your name? >> Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, like the bear in the woods. >> Speaker A: The kids out here, they don't get it. They're like, oh, let's snow. Yeah, it snows once and it's like. Or it snows a half an inch and they all panic and squirrel out and it's like, yeah, no, you just. Dang it, child. >> Speaker B: No, uh, I'll write my name. Throwing a cheerio in the bowl is never
a bad idea. Just a little target practice. Make sure you got your skills all honed in. Sometimes you leave the bowl down, the toilet seat down, just for an extra. >> Speaker A: You know, your wife probably loves that. >> Speaker B: It's like playing russian roulette. Because you ever blame it on your kid, Gabriel. No, that's wrong. Okay. >> Speaker A: But did you ever do it? Yeah. >> Speaker B: Still wrong. >> Speaker A: Because I definitely did that yesterday.
Like, I dribbled a little bit, and Anna just totally called me on it. >> Speaker B: She goes, you dribbled? >> Speaker A: And I was like, I think that was not me. And she said, it's our bathroom. Also, the kids haven't been here all day, so, like, no, you got caught. Yeah. Ah, I got caught. Yellow seated. So, quick test of urinals here. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker A: You walk into a bathroom, you're like, will the suffering end in this
porta potty? Uh, you walk into a bathroom, there's five urinals side by side. Yes. And there is one other person. I lied to you. There's two other people peeing. There's one person on the far right urinal, and then there is one person. One urinal in from the left. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: So from left to right, you have open urinal, man. Open urinal. Open urinal, man. Which urinal do you do? >> Speaker B: So, I think you know this, but I'm an extremely shy
don't. I would just be standing there with my Johnson in hand. Like, I'm going to the first stall available. I don't even like my kids. >> Speaker A: You would just wait it out. >> Speaker B: I'd probably turn around and be like, oh, I forgot something. >> Speaker A: You're not that peacey. You peed in the bathroom, and I've been in the bathroom. >> Speaker B: Yeah, but there's a stall. >> Speaker A: This is, like, afraid of.
>> Speaker B: It's just a shot. Like, I won't go. I'll just be standing there. >> Speaker A: This is so fun. >> Speaker B: And then they'll leave, and I'll just. There you. >> Speaker A: So you're a psychologist guy. What's going on there? >> Speaker B: I don't know, man. I don't know. Yeah, it's fine. Just a wiener. I don't know. You don't have to solve it. No, I don't know. Because my wife has picked on me about this before because
I would do the same if the roles were reversed. But, yeah, I'll be doing now, once I've started, if people come in, I'm going to keep going. >> Speaker A: Don't worry. That would, like, it would cut off m midstream. >> Speaker B: Doesn't that hurt? >> Speaker A: I guess. >> Speaker B: I mean, I don't stop it ever. The thought of that makes me think of dumb and dumber when he's like, you can't stop once you've started stings.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. We wouldn't even walk in the bathroom. It was like a toilet. And then it had a new room that was like the get ready room or whatever, and we would walk in that room and he would stop. You would hear it stop, and then you would walk out and you would hear it resume. Um. It was crazy. >> Speaker B: It's like his superpower. >> Speaker A: And I asked him, I was like, what is going on? He goes, dude, I'm like, really peacey.
>> Speaker B: Um, yeah, I'm not that peacey. Once I'm going, I'm going. I'm not stopping anybody. Yeah, but if I walk in a bathroom and there's a stall and one more person by the urinals, chances are I'm not taking any of the urinals. >> Speaker A: Do you ever get started peeing? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: And then have to fart, but get scared that you're going to diarrhea in the fart? >> Speaker B: No way. Really?
>> Speaker A: Every time I go to the bathroom. >> Speaker B: Oh, there's nothing to get scared about. That's excitement. That's living life on the edge right there, huh? >> Speaker A: We work at a public high school. You cannot risk you. >> Speaker B: I'm living life on the edge right there. >> Speaker A: Because if you begin that fart midday. >> Speaker B: If I ever disappear midday from work, you'll know why Josh flew too close to the sun.
>> Speaker A: Josh flew too close. And also, he has poop in his pants. >> Speaker B: Definitely. >> Speaker A: Uh, the worst is, like, accidentally dribbled a little pee on my pants, and then I'm like, oh, my God. >> Speaker B: Just walking out your hands down. >> Speaker A: Pull my sweatshirt down a little bit. >> Speaker B: And I'm like, if you ever see. >> Speaker A: Me walking like some sort of hood rat, that's what's going on.
Um, do you use the toilet seat covers, the little paper things? >> Speaker B: No. Uh, you're just getting into it. You're just causing more problems. >> Speaker A: I don't understand them. >> Speaker B: My thing is I don't want to touch the toilet seat more than I have to. Chances are that bad boy is going to slip off or something. I don't want slippery butt when I get sitting on the toilet either, because. >> Speaker A: I sweat when I poop.
Okay. Uh, the look was like, what? >> Speaker B: No, it wasn't like a what. I'm just like, yeah, I mean, people sweat when they poop. Uh, yeah, dude, sweaty poops. Just the worst. I remember being not even in high school, but even now, after we get done working out. And I get home, I'm like, man, I got to go. >> Speaker A: But m I'm also drenched, I'm also. >> Speaker B: Sweaty, and the toilet paper is going to get all over the place. It's just foul.
I can't do it. I'd rather wait it out. Yeah, man. >> Speaker A: Uh, it's a disaster. But the worst, though, is when you shower, and then you get out of the shower and you're, like, barely started to dry off. >> Speaker B: Oh, God. >> Speaker A: And it's like the poo hits you, and you're like, dang it. Like, if I was in the shower, I could stomp it, but now I've. >> Speaker B: Got to go give it the old waffle stomp.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, you're in the waffle stomp hall of fame, by the way. It is not a common thing. We're a whole year later, which means I have talked to twelve other people since I last, and I can tell you very few have done it, let alone heard of it. Most people are like, what is waffle stomp? >> Speaker B: What are you talking? >> Speaker A: I love waffles. >> Speaker B: Why would I step on waffles? You ever had an eggo? You don't step on those.
>> Speaker A: Is that like river stomp? Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: Isn't that a song by the Jonas brothers? Waffle stomp. >> Speaker A: Oh, man. Uh, the Jonas brothers. Such a fitting topic for the bathroom. Really is, uh, no toilet seat covers. That's wise. Um, you ever do the poop nest? >> Speaker B: I bet your pardon?
>> Speaker A: You ever make a nest, you lay down toilet paper in the water, and then you put out enough to where you can poop onto the paper, and it's like a little nest for the poop. >> Speaker B: I know what I'm doing when I get home. What do you pick it up out afterwards? It's got a nest, so you can pick it up without touching it. >> Speaker A: I believe this exists to keep things quiet. So, like, if you're worried about.
>> Speaker B: Oh, no. >> Speaker A: I strive for the biggest, the mermaid kiss. And you don't want that. >> Speaker B: So I will tell you this. I poop a lot before showering. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: Um, I'm pushing for the biggest splash I can get out of that. I want the people in the next house over to hear that bad boy at school. I'll tone it back a little bit because I don't want to get splashed. >> Speaker A: Oh, come on. Just grunt. One.
>> Speaker B: I'm grunting, but. >> Speaker A: Sorry. We'll come back. The best is when you try to be cheeky, but you're also don't want to announce it. I got to go. And you run out of the room. >> Speaker B: You mean when it's the. Oh, yeah. Must be 930 already. Yeah. >> Speaker A: And then you disappear for, like, ten minutes, and then you come back in with just this peaceful look on your face.
>> Speaker B: It's like seas have parted, the angels have started singing. >> Speaker A: Everybody involved is like, well, Josh just took another. Yep. And it's unspoken, but we all know what's. >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Well, the worst part is they know. They could talk about, like, I'd be right there. I'd be like, oh, it wasn't my favorite. >> Speaker A: Yeah.
>> Speaker B: Do you have a favorite? Poop. Do I have a favorite when you really got to grunt one out or it bites you a little bit? I'm a big fan of the, like, oh, no. And then you get there, and it's just like, okay, so living life on the edge. >> Speaker A: Let me explain something about me that's like, every time I go, pretty much what happens is my stuff's never that solid.
Like, if it's solid, something's off. So when I go to the bathroom, it's regularly, like, there is just, like, mixed solids and liquids held up at a wall. >> Speaker B: Has anyone ever taken a phone call during this? >> Speaker A: Who is it? >> Speaker B: It's my dad. Um. >> Speaker A: Oh, why not? >> Speaker B: Hey, dad. >> Speaker A: Might as well go ahead and throw that on speaker. >> Speaker B: He does have school tomorrow.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, tell him where you're at. >> Speaker B: Can I call you back, though? I'm in a porta potty recording a podcast. Goodbye. >> Speaker A: What did you do? >> Speaker B: Weird. All right, I'll talk to you later. Oh, man. But just so we're clear, my dad would love to be on this podcast. It's when he found out that hunter did this podcast, his answer to me was, how do I get on? Yeah. I will actively take a while recording this
podcast. I said, dad, that's not part of the qualification. >> Speaker A: He would be the first. >> Speaker B: And he goes, I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah, I did it in Alaska. Out in the open. Wait, what? Yep. >> Speaker A: Is that his story to tell? >> Speaker B: Uh, well, they were on a cruise, and there was a toilet outside, and he just. >> Speaker A: He just went for it.
>> Speaker B: He didn't actually poop, but he definitely pulled his pants all the way down and sat down on this toilet. >> Speaker A: Dude, my buddy, he says he didn't go to the bathroom, but I distinctly remember him peeing. Maybe not pooping, but he sat on a home Depot toilet and just did his business. Like Larry the cable guy skit. Like, he did that. And I'm pretty sure he did it because of that joke in Larry the cable guy. M maybe it's one of those blue collar. Um, yeah, so.
But my favorite is just that I made it, uh, any day that you. >> Speaker B: Make it to the toilet safely. >> Speaker A: I've regularly got a little bit of a streak, like, in my drawers. And I own less white underwear than most. >> Speaker B: Um, I don't know that I own any. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I own two, dude. Okay, I'm gonna just be honest with you. I own this pair of underwear that I have to strategize. So we bought a blind bag of underwear.
>> Speaker B: Shouts out, me. >> Speaker A: Yeah. Not a sponsor. There was a time in my life where I want it, and I'm going to tell you why they're not now. Um, but you just get whatever you get. >> Speaker B: It's like a mystery box, but you. >> Speaker A: Don'T get to pick the patterns. But one of the patterns is, like, a pride pattern. And it's just like, love is love. And you're thinking, oh, but it's, like, all rainbow.
It's white with rainbow. And there's days where I will grab it and I'll go, I'm going to the gym. I can't. Like, I can't. >> Speaker B: Yeah, I've strategically quit wearing white underwear when you and I are going to work out, because the thought of just there being a streak, and it's just. Yeah. >> Speaker A: Oh, no, the streak is not the problem. >> Speaker B: No, the streak is your problem. But for me, I'm like, it would.
>> Speaker A: Be bad if I pulled my pants down and I'm standing there as love is love on my wiener. But I can't imagine if younger kid or one of them walked in and it's now you and I standing in there with me wearing love is love. >> Speaker B: You wearing love is love, me wearing my shaft and balls underwear with uncle Sam pointing out, uh, saying, I want you, like, 4 July. Bundle. 4 July. >> Speaker A: What type of QAnon LGBTQ mix up is this? Boys, you are confused.
>> Speaker B: Oh, boy. >> Speaker A: Hitting the queue all over. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: So the only other, like, do you have any, um, parting wisdom to leave with folks with here? We've been in here over an hour. It seems fitting. Unless you have more stories. I should probably leave that light on. It only seems fair. The light on any other stories? And if not, do you have any parting wisdom to leave the people with.
>> Speaker B: Other stories at the moment? >> Speaker A: Yeah. Has any of the sports kids ever pooped their pants? Like, don't use names, but, like, well. >> Speaker B: Last year, there was definitely mid game where a kid was like, I'm going to go coach, coach, I got to go. And it was like, okay, we had to take a time. Uh, and this is a football game. Third quarter. Kid looks at me, he's like, coach, I got to go. I got to go really best. And it was like,
can you hold it? We're almost games. Not that long. And he's like, no, coach, it's happening now. >> Speaker A: It's Prairie dogging. >> Speaker B: I got him off the field, and my dude took off running. Full speed, shoulder pads, helmet to the bathroom, like, mid game. That was a funny one. I had trouble calling the defense after that. Um. Oh, played in a golf tournament yesterday. >> Speaker A: Yes. >> Speaker B: So me and my brother in law and we got paired up with
these two older gentlemen. Super nice guys. Very. But they were old. And, uh, every time we'd get near them, my brother in law and I would, like, look at each other, and we'd be like, bro, do you hear a fart? Do you smell something? I'm not going to blame anybody, but those old guys may have had some trouble walking farts. It's fine. Yeah. >> Speaker A: Or do you think we're talking, like, adult diapers? >> Speaker B: I don't think it was adult diapers. Okay?
I would think that they're pretty. >> Speaker A: Are we doing a check? Door check. Door check. >> Speaker B: Hello? >> Speaker A: Is there, like, a rat in this thing? >> Speaker B: You think? Stop. >> Speaker A: Well, I heard. >> Speaker B: Okay, so, you know that conversation where you were like, I'll flip the thing? Is it rats for you? >> Speaker A: We have a rodent deck right now.
>> Speaker B: Mice rodent. Oh, God, they're awful. I hate them, but they're so gross. >> Speaker A: I agree. >> Speaker B: But, like, so gross. I made fun of my dad for years. Like, dad, you're such a wimp. You're such a wimp. Had one in my house. I have never been on top of a counter squealing like a little girl. Quicker. Really? My dad came and he's. Oh, where'd the big man go? Calling daddy to come over and try and
help him get this mouse. And it wasn't even, like, a big one, but I could hear whole. I just was like, hey, what if we just burn the house? Like, it's not a big deal, but they'd all be dead if you are. >> Speaker A: Josh's insurance company listening to this. Uh, this was a joke. >> Speaker B: Sure. No, I think, uh, yeah, mine suck. Uh, yeah, but. >> Speaker A: So these old guys are just got walking farts? >> Speaker B: Yeah, I'm confident.
>> Speaker A: Worst case scenario, the mouse comes out from, like, right underneath my legs. >> Speaker B: Speaking of violent, throwing up, the thought of that just out of the door. Zoom. But, yeah, I'm pretty common. These old guys had some mid swing farts, or even just some walking farts, some mid swing farts, some practice swing farts bending over to get the ball out of the hole. I just think that they were letting them fly. >> Speaker A: It's fine.
>> Speaker B: But I'm not confident that they knew that they were letting them fly. >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's the trouble because they. >> Speaker B: Probably thought it was y'all, which I'm cool with, like, hey, right? >> Speaker A: Your brother in law cool with it, though? >> Speaker B: Yeah, he could be cool with it. Yeah. Car is pretty cool, dude. >> Speaker A: Yeah.
>> Speaker B: Um, sweet. Yeah. I mean, other than the being in dark while going to the bathroom at work and the fear of someone coming in and just having to be like, um, there's somebody in here. I'm not weird with the light off. It's burnt out. >> Speaker A: Can I tell you one of my greatest fears in that bathroom at the high school? >> Speaker B: What? >> Speaker A: So sometimes the door doesn't shut. Right. You know what I'm saying?
>> Speaker B: God. >> Speaker A: And my greatest fear is that I'm going to be in there peeing or pooping. It does not matter. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: And some students just going to act like an idiot and open the door and either shut the light off on me or worse yet, go in there and hoke up a fatty or, like, smack their face. And then I'm going to come out and it's going to be like, what in the heck is hoover doing in the bathroom with this team?
Yeah, that stresses me out. >> Speaker B: So I kick it close with my foot every time. >> Speaker A: Now I just reach back every time. >> Speaker B: I'm a foot kicker because it's like, this is closing or. >> Speaker A: Yeah, that stresses me out so much because I'm like, it's real fear. >> Speaker B: It's not like fake fear. >> Speaker A: Yeah, kids are dumb. Uh, unless you're one of the kids listening, you're probably smart.
>> Speaker B: Uh, they're all dumb. I hate all of them equally. >> Speaker A: Do you have any wisdom to leave the people with bathroom wisdom? Um, sage advice from your. >> Speaker B: Clean your toilets. Clean your toilets. Because you never know when you're going to be asked to be on a podcast or you're going to have people over and they don't need to see your stains and it's important to clean your toilets. Yeah. Uh, I think once a
week. Once a week? Yeah. I think if you're doing it more than that, you're just an overachiever. And what are you trying to prove? Right, we know you who's got that time. Yeah, nobody's got that time. Unless if you have that time, you find yourself call somebody. >> Speaker A: You find yourself, right where? I find myself a lot. >> Speaker B: Go find a friend. >> Speaker A: Insulting the people that might be listening. >> Speaker B: I do it a lot. It's nothing personal.
It's just if you have enough time to clean your toilet more than once a week, call a friend. Yeah, or have your friends call you just to check in. Um, just accidentally go somewhere, find some Disney Lorrakana, give me a call. >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: Um. Oh, by the way, also words of wisdom. Yeah. Do not trust GameStop. >> Speaker A: Oh, update. So, my m buddy who air quotes has Lorcana for us, right. >> Speaker B: The air quotes is stressing me.
>> Speaker A: Said he bought them and has them and is bringing them to us. That starter deck that I told you about. Yeah. Haven't seen it yet. Haven't seen it yet. Until we have Lorcana in hand, that starter deck does not exist. >> Speaker B: I'm beginning to think the game doesn't exist. Well, we have them, so that's a lie. >> Speaker A: But I'm beginning to think that nothing is real. >> Speaker B: It's getting grim over here.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Well, cool. >> Speaker A: Uh, I'm going to do the shameful close out. Um. >> Speaker B: Oh, no. >> Speaker A: What? >> Speaker B: Do it. >> Speaker A: We don't have a flush, so there is a slam. That is so typical to every porta potty. I'm going to slam the toilet lid here, and I'm going to stand up. But I was going
to say one thing. I missed a question. It wasn't on my thing, and I have to know because in a recent episode, I made a comment, and I had somebody reach out and say, hey, um, you're actually horribly wrong about that. Um, this isn't a thing. And my question is you is, have you ever bare handed a dog turd? >> Speaker B: Have I ever bare handed a dog turd? >> Speaker A: Yeah. See, I'm convinced everybody's bare handed a dog turd at least once. If you own a dog.
>> Speaker B: Why, though? I get it sometimes you got to pick it up. But are you talking bare hand, no napkin, no toilet paper, no nothing. Just scooping it up, like under talking. >> Speaker A: Bare hand dog turd? >> Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, everyone's done it. >> Speaker A: I'm not saying it's a good idea. Yeah, I'm not saying you should. I'm saying everyone has done it. >> Speaker B: Yeah, everyone's done it.
>> Speaker A: And much like just farting, we should normalize the fact that sometimes you're going to have to bear. >> Speaker B: Own your stink. Own your stink. >> Speaker A: Um, yeah, don't I ever. We've owned a lot of people's stank tonight in this room. >> Speaker B: Oh. So good. >> Speaker A: In fact, it's starting to smell less like poop and more like. >> Speaker B: Just like. It's getting worse as the night goes on.
Um, now I'm curious because I've always known we're back. That poop. Well, I'm curious because, like, poop, it'll regulate when it gets warm. >> Speaker A: Yeah, it gets worse. >> Speaker B: It tends to smell worse. But as it gets colder this evening, I think. What? It's starting to get a little worse. I think.
>> Speaker A: I think we're smelling not poop. I think we're smelling like there's probably a public health official that's going to one day hear this and say, um, what you did was probably very bad for your health. Um, because I don't think you're supposed to spend this long in a box contained with that much fecal matter, like, that ventilation, that ain't doing crap. >> Speaker B: Yeah, you can almost see the particle particles in the air at this point.
>> Speaker A: It's thick in here. And I'm pretty sure that what's happening is, as time goes on, it's just the air, but the collective is happening. >> Speaker B: I'm kind of angry that this porta potty has better toilet paper than I worked at. >> Speaker A: To a listener at home, that was not a goof. That
is the gospel facts. This toilet paper at the Porta potty and timber ridge parking lot is of higher quality than what they stock greater Albany public schools employee bathrooms with. And that's facts. I don't get it. Uh, anyway, I'm going to close this bee out. Um, this has been another episode of privy. It's the shameful dog pooping in the backyard. You get to stare at me while I do
it. Here we are. Um, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being here in this porta potty in the dark on a Sunday night before we both get to go to work tomorrow. Um, it's great. Uh, thank you to your family for letting you do this. >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah, for sure. I love being here, and my wife gets a kick out of hearing the things that we talk about. >> Speaker A: There's only a matter of time before she comes on the show. I'm thinking couples episode. It could be a good.
Yes. Uh. >> Speaker B: We got to work her over. >> Speaker A: You can do that. Um, let her listen to. Hello. What have we got? >> Speaker B: There's definitely a car out there. >> Speaker A: New car. >> Speaker B: New car. Oh, no. Do we have another guess? I don't want that. >> Speaker A: I'm scared. Um, well, I'm going to close this out thanks to Kevin and Pottington bear for the use of their music. Uh,
keep pooping in the free world. And now, as always, don't forget to flush. Or in. Oh, gosh. The maneuver. Don't forget to close the lid. Oh, no. That is a lake, my friend. Gross. >> Speaker B: Close.