>> Speaker A: So it felt, like, really nice after it was in, but that initial, like, shoving it in there was just super painful. >> Speaker B: But. >> Speaker C: Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded this week. Uh, I'm on location as it is, uh, at a friend and, uh, a mentor. We're already going, uh, this one could get off the rails really quick, but we're going to see here.
But, yeah, just to intro it here. And this is going to hit you later, but I've been in an ongoing conversation with, uh, some folks I work with about how many squares of toilet paper is the appropriate number of squares for normal human use. Um, and I'm on record saying it's three, so you can. >> Speaker A: Three? >> Speaker C: Yeah. What? >> Speaker A: Three squares. >> Speaker C: Three. Three squares total. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: When you wipe.
>> Speaker C: Yeah, when you wipe your poop. >> Speaker A: Serious? >> Speaker C: Yeah, 100%. So, um, I'm joined this week. We might as well just get him right on. Uh, by Austin Kent. Um, Austin and I have been friends for, uh, eight, nine years, something like that. We met in college, uh, those rowdy, uh, Bible college days. As rowdy as those can get, being rowdy in Bible college essentially means you skip chapel to play Pokemon cards.
>> Speaker A: Um, I just want to play video games. You're the ones who made me rowdy. >> Speaker C: Right? And that's exactly it. Um, well, perfect. Uh, so tell us a little bit about who you are, because I know who you are, but I know everything about you. >> Speaker A: Um, my name is Austin Kent. I'm, um, 28. >> Speaker C: He's not single. >> Speaker A: I am not single. I'm very married. We're, uh, getting ready to have a baby girl here, uh, July 27. Super excited.
Um, had our second ultrasound already. Everything's going good. And getting ready to be a dad, pretty much. >> Speaker C: Awesome. Are you just super stoked or. >> Speaker A: Um. I'm super stoked. >> Speaker B: Yeah. That's my first kid. >> Speaker C: Is there any not existential dread, but just like. >> Speaker A: No. Oh, no. >> Speaker C: This is coming down the line. >> Speaker A: No. I've been wanting to have kids since I was a
kid, and I still am a kid, kind of. So, yeah. Uh, there's no part of me that is scared or regretful in any way. >> Speaker C: That's so cool. >> Speaker B: That's awesome. >> Speaker C: Um, what about in the diapering and bathroom? The things that come out of the bottom. >> Speaker A: I feel like I'm ignorant to a lot of what parenting entails, and so I think if I knew what I needed to be prepared for, I
would be more nervous than I am. But I've never babysat or gone through any of that before, so I'm just thinking about all the smiles and the walks in the park and all the fun stuff. So I'm not really thinking about all that stuff, because it'll be here, and I'm sure it'll be all I think about when I have the kids. So right now, I'm just going to enjoy the excited sleeping in and. >> Speaker B: Absolutely.
>> Speaker C: That's exactly right. Um, the only thing that I want to tell you, uh, that I wish someone would have told me, is when she's born in the hospital, that first diaper, the poo is like black tar. >> Speaker A: That's what I've heard. >> Speaker C: I'm glad you've heard it, because I didn't know that. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: And to not freak out, and I thought that there was something gravely wrong
with my son. Uh, and so you're already ahead of where I was because you know that the black tarduki is coming. Um, but, yeah. >> Speaker A: Is it like a thicker. >> Speaker C: It's just impossibly sticky and black, like. >> Speaker A: A big black booger almost. Kind of. >> Speaker C: Kind of. But it just keeps wiping. You know how, like, on. >> Speaker B: I don't. >> Speaker A: Do people save it?
>> Speaker C: No, they don't save that. They save the umbilical cord. >> Speaker A: There's a lot of people who save a lot of weird first things. >> Speaker C: People do a lot of things with the umbilical cord. >> Speaker B: I didn't do that. >> Speaker A: My mom still has. We were going through a photo album when we were home, just a few this last weekend, and she still has, like, in an envelope, like, all of our first haircut, like
hair. Is that normal? Is that, uh, normal thing? Which I was like, oh, I opened it, and I was like, what is in this? And my mom was like, oh, it's your brother's hair from his first haircut. I think it's 25 years ago. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: See, that was what I was going to say is, I think doing that is normal. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: I think, honestly, when you turn 18 to 20 is
when that either disappears. Or I think what would be even creepier is then they hand it off to your significant other. It's like, hey. >> Speaker A: Or they throw it up, like as you're walking out at your wedding. >> Speaker C: Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: I've told my wife something, like, weird, creepy. I was kind of joking, but also kind of wondered if it'd be
feasible. You save all of your kids, like, toenails every time you clip them until they get married, and then you give them in little baggies to everybody at the ceremony, and they throw the toenails. Like, sometimes they do bubbles or they do for the send off. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Toenails.
>> Speaker B: Um. >> Speaker C: You'Re getting ready to have that moment where you're going to have to decide if you want to do it, because that first toenail clipping is probably only about six to eight months ahead of your future here. So probably, I don't know, my wife probably is going to be like, dummy, you do it faster than that. I suck at clipping kids toenails. >> Speaker A: I suck at clipping dog toenails. >> Speaker C: M. Yeah. Uh, I don't know which is worse.
>> Speaker A: Every time you click it, there's just that part in you that's like, oh, my gosh, are you going to wail in pain on this one? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: Am I going to ruin them? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: And it's the same for kids because it's like they can't sit still. They refuse, um, just outright cannot do it. No, it doesn't stop. So your job, if you don't mind sharing, I don't know if you're even allowed
to. It's top secret, high security. Um, but what do you do for fun? Uh, living? I don't know if it's fun. >> Speaker A: Fun living. Yeah. >> Speaker C: You go to work. What do you do? >> Speaker A: Oh, so you want to know what I do for. What I do for a living and what I do for fun are two different things. >> Speaker B: Not always. >> Speaker A: Not always. >> Speaker C: Depends on the day, am I right?
>> Speaker A: I mean, I do have fun at, um, so I work up in Woodburn, uh, for OiA, which is Oregon youth Authority, and I am a group life coordinator, which is a fancy way of saying that I babysit criminals. I pretty much just watch. Supervision, uh, is like, the main part of the job, but we also are supposed to interact with them. And we work specifically on a drug and alcohol unit, so
there's a lot of treatment and stuff involved. But 90% of the day is making sure kids don't get in fights and telling them what not to do. >> Speaker C: Well, perfect. At that job, I always joke with you and our other friend Gavin, uh, that the kids that I have, I often send them right up the valley to y'all. And so one of my students this last week, um, so he introduced me to a
thing called the Glock dookie. Um, first of all, have you ever heard of this, working in your field of expertise? >> Speaker A: Glock dookie? >> Speaker C: Yes, the Glock dookie. >> Speaker A: Um, I don't know if I'm familiar. >> Speaker C: Perfect. You're better off as a person. Not familiar. Um, but in short, what this item is, is that somebody has taken, um, poop, pee, anything, uh, that you can get
out of your body. And more ketchup. Uh, and you stick it in the water bottle, and you use that to harass fellow, uh, people. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: I don't want to say inmates, because I don't feel like that's not. >> Speaker A: We do it to them. >> Speaker C: No, they do it to each other as, like, intimidation. And I don't know if they have that much contact where you're at, but they do. Yeah, they do. Perfect.
>> Speaker A: They all sleep in the same giant room together. They're not even in individual cells, so they sleep in dorms, and they all share a giant bathroom, and they all share a big day room for living. Um, there have been lots of, um. I haven't personally been involved, thankfully, in any kind of bodily fluid, but it happens a lot. Like, people mostly spit, that people get spit on, but there have been worse things thrown at staff by youth.
>> Speaker C: That just sounds absolutely terrible. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Um, uh, semen is actually common. >> Speaker B: Perfect. >> Speaker A: One of the things, they don't usually do it to each other, because if you spit on someone, or if you throw some kind of bodily fluid on someone else, that's considered assault, and they can actually catch charges for that. But if you ejaculate into your friend's shampoo bottle.
>> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Ah, one can prove it to you. >> Speaker B: That's a good word. >> Speaker A: You get a laugh as they bathe themselves in it. >> Speaker C: Perfect. That's a great word, ejaculate. M. It's scientific at that point. Um, so not a Glock dookie, but something maybe much worse. >> Speaker A: Pee is the most common, probably, but also pee, fun fact, is actually a commodity
a little bit. People will collect it in prison because you can use it to pass tests with later. I found pee in, like, toothpaste caps and all kinds. I thought it was, like, drugs of some kind. At first I'm like, oh, they're making, like, alcohol. And so me and a friend, this actually happened, like, a few months ago. We found, um, a toothpaste that was hidden underneath a table in a weird spot where you don't keep toothpaste. And I'm like, okay, there's something in this that's not
normal. So I took it in the back and I smelled it, but it still had, like, the minty. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker A: I didn't know what I figured. >> Speaker B: It was. >> Speaker A: My first thought was, they're making alcohol. Because we were working on drug and alcohol. It wasn't my first thought anyways, so, uh, I was like, oh, I saw it was liquid in there. And so I was like, oh, they're definitely making
drugs. Because people. That's another thing we have quite commonly, is they'll use juice or bread and sugar to make pruno. It's, uh, alcohol in prison, essentially. So that happens quite more frequently. We find that more frequently. So that's what my first response was, was like, oh, they're making alcohol. And so I'm smelling this thing, and it still has the mint flavor, kind of from the toothpaste in there. So I'm like, I'm having other staff
smell. We're trying to figure out what it is, and then I end up calling my boss, and he's like, dude, it's piss. Like, throw it away. >> Speaker C: Passing it around. Like, hey, have you smelled this yet? >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. It was gross. Thankfully, I had gloves on, but still, I was like, oh, man. Can't unsmell that. Once I knew what it was, it made sense. I was like, oh, that does smell
like piss mixed with toothpaste, but it's not so good. Not a smell you really become accustomed. >> Speaker C: To, especially when it's not yours. >> Speaker A: Yeah, especially when. >> Speaker C: Wow. Oh, man. Um. Oh, also, we're not going all the way back because we moved on, but pee diapers smell worse than poop diapers sometimes. >> Speaker A: Really? >> Speaker C: Yeah, like, when they pee and it just kind of sits for a
little bit. Yeah, it just kind of gets mildewy. >> Speaker A: See, I feel like it could be bad, but I was a caregiver for, like, a year and a half, and so. That's right. This lady would, like, I've had experience cleaning that kind of fecal matter in particular, almost on a daily basis. And I'm sure you're so ready for kids. >> Speaker C: Dude, you're fine. >> Speaker A: Vomit, on the other hand, is something we both. I can't even smell vomit without.
>> Speaker C: Oh, homie. I had a girl at. Well, I think she is. You know how. Um. But she tossed cookies and then fell over in it at the high school. >> Speaker A: Oh, my God. >> Speaker C: And I'm like, listen, this is other duties as a sign at this point. Um, we need somebody else in here. This is above my expertise level. >> Speaker A: I mean, you got janitorial experience. >> Speaker C: I know, but not when they're
laying in the cleanup job. It's like, okay, you need more help than I'm able to provide. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Um, so she'll be headed your way. >> Speaker A: Um, anyway, not my way. Girls go down to the. >> Speaker C: Oh, shoot. >> Speaker A: I only deal with males, thankfully. >> Speaker C: Perfect. Yeah, dude, you're not wrong there.
Okay, so no glock dookie. Um, and then the second thing I wanted to know is, have you ever heard of anybody passing notes via the toilet? So I think the way that this happens is they write the note, they stick it in like a ziploc or something that they can, or like some sort of small container, and then they tie it off to like string from their clothes and they actually run it down the sewer line. And then I don't know how, but somebody else is able to retrieve it from the sewer line.
>> Speaker A: So you mean like two people from different cells? >> Speaker B: Yeah. Um. >> Speaker A: No, mostly because of where I work. But I'm sure that something like that might have happened. I mean, the only place that might happen is because like I said, on our specific unit, everyone shares the same bathroom. And so they don't have cells. Uh, the only time they're actually in their own rooms is if they're on an
intake unit. So when they first come in, before they go to their long term unit, um, or if they go to isolation, then they're in an individual cell. So that might happen down there. I don't know. I don't work there. So it's not really ever been. Not your problem. They could, in theory, I guess if you want to communicate with another unit, but we're talking like 200ft, you'd need to go at least in pipe shaft. It's a whole nother building. Yeah,
it'd be a little tricky. I don't know if they could manage that. More likely they just have a cell phone. Yeah. >> Speaker C: Somebody has to have smuggled one in on the backside. Phones? >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. >> Speaker A: Just up, uh, the. Even since I've been there, there have been two or three, probably up the b. I don't know how they get it in. >> Speaker C: Uh, don't ask, don't tell. >> Speaker A: We find a lot of stuff. It's a lot harder to find the method
because most of the time when we discover it's already in. So we don't really always catch people in the act. >> Speaker C: We don't need to know how they did it. >> Speaker A: I don't know who has the biggest prison pocket. >> Speaker C: Yeah, it's like a hot pocket. Not none, but less pepperoni and cheese. Not none. Definitely little pepperoni, little pepperoni. Lots of sausage links going right in.
Um, anyway, cool. Ah, so I wanted to discuss briefly some college things that I took notes on. >> Speaker A: Sure. >> Speaker C: And feel free if you just want to pull the escape hatch and go, this is too traumatic. >> Speaker A: Who I am, I can't be ashamed. >> Speaker C: Okay, perfect. So, um, I'm going to set the scene on this
one. Um, and the scene is as I remember it, Anna and I got back from Christmas break, and you had ridden up to the airport with our friend Gavin, and I believe his fiance at the time, maybe m wife. I don't know at what point. I think it was fiance. And we get in Gavin's car, and you're in the seat, and you just have a full eye patch on. Um, and I'm like, well, what in the heck happened? >> Speaker A: Uh, is that the first time you saw me with it?
>> Speaker C: I think it was the first time I saw you with the eye patch. Uh, uh, because I knew you had the eye patch, but I don't think I ever saw it or that I. >> Speaker A: Had the eye thing, at least. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: So tell us however much information you want about maybe like, a public service announcement about contact lenses. >> Speaker A: Public service announcement? Yeah. They're meant to be used with contact solution and not tap water.
>> Speaker B: Yeah, is the long story. >> Speaker C: I don't necessarily want to get into what you did, because that's your business, but I do want to get into the treatment. >> Speaker A: Oh, the treatment? >> Speaker C: Yes, the treatment. >> Speaker A: Because that's a long story. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Um, um, this is after trips up and down the valley from Salem to Portland to a special eye doctor.
And the final treatment to. And correct me if I'm wrong, to eradicate the bacteria from your eye was so good. It's so audible, and I don't plan on changing it. Um, was to put a, uh, contact lens on your eye. >> Speaker A: That wasn't the final treatment. >> Speaker C: I don't know about the final treatment. >> Speaker A: No, you do. You just didn't know it was the final treatment. You want me to start at the. >> Speaker C: Beginning or wherever you want.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: So, long story short, uh, around Christmas time, about a week before Christmas, had been using tap water for contact solution, um, at a house that was quite less than 100% sanitary. Um, for about two weeks, I was doing that. And then on Christmas day when I was in Wenatchee, after I traveled down there to be with my family in central Washington, um, my eye started hurting, and I didn't know why. I figured it was just like an
irritant, like my contact had been in too long or something. So it was on Christmas Day, I remember, because we just finished opening up presents, and so I went to bed, and the next morning it was worse. And I was like, oh, that's not good. And so it got worse over that day to the point where it hurt to open my eye. And so the next day, we went to an eye doctor in Wenatchee, and they gave us, like, an irritant little thing to put
in it. And over the course of the next four, three or four months, I went to the doctors in Salem trying to get different prescriptions, and they couldn't figure it out. And so then I went up to this guy, up, the specialized eye doctor up in tiger, Oregon, and he was trying a few different things, and he couldn't figure it out. So he sent me all the way up to Ohsu, to the freaking college, where they looked at my eye through this microscope
that went on my eye. Uh, and then they found a living parasite in my eye. They use this microscope to look at my eye, and what they found was a living bacteria, aka a parasite, essentially, in my eye, microscopic, but there was a bunch of them. And so, um, the way that they had to counteract this parasite was with, ah, another living culture that they was basically going to eat it in my eye, kill it for me. But in the meantime, my eye had sustained a lot of damage from all the things that they'd
been putting in it. And so to help it heal and to protect the eye while it was receiving the treatment, they had developed this, uh, I guess it was fairly new, I don't know, at the time, ah, technology where they used a contact lens that had been made out of a human placenta. >> Speaker C: Yes. >> Speaker A: Aka afterbirth. >> Speaker C: Afterbirth. >> Speaker A: Uh, at this point, I'd probably been, I don't even know how many months into this, and it had been a pain
the entire time. But this was one of the most painful things I have ever had happen to me, even to this day. The size of this contacts. So I wear contacts, and that's, uh, how this whole thing started. And they're usually about a little bit smaller than your entire eye. This whole thing, I swear, I don't remember super well what it looked like, but at the time, it looked so big that I could wrap my entire eyeball in it. It was like this big.
>> Speaker C: Oh, no, it was huge. What the heck? >> Speaker A: See that on the podcast. But no, it was probably like, I want to say it was like two and a half inches, three inches long. And to get it in, they had to hold. >> Speaker C: The finger size he's holding up is larger than a powerade bottle cap. It was not safe. >> Speaker A: It was huge. They had to open my eye and wedge it up inside of there. >> Speaker C: So great.
>> Speaker A: And then wedge it, and they would give me a little numbing thing, but you can't really get like a shot in your eye, so they would give me some numbing. >> Speaker C: You shouldn't do that. >> Speaker A: It was excruciatingly. >> Speaker B: Painful. >> Speaker A: Oh, gosh. >> Speaker C: I didn't realize it was that big. >> Speaker A: No, it hurts so bad. And when they put it in there, I
essentially couldn't see anything out of it. It was almost like a shield. It wasn't really a contact lens. I only say that because that's the only thing I can. >> Speaker C: It's like looking through, um, it's like. >> Speaker A: An eye patch that goes in your eye, basically. Gosh. But it had these healing properties to it. But when it's first on your eye, it stings, and there's nothing you can do. You can't grab it or touch it or just take it, sit there and just, uh.
Every time you get. So I had to have this done three times. >> Speaker C: I didn't know that either. I thought this was a one. >> Speaker A: No. Every time it happened, I had the guy just leave the room, and I just sat there for about 510 minutes and just tried not to scream. So he'd come back. And after, like, 1015 minutes, it actually felt amazing because my eye had been through so much pain, and it really helped. It shielded it
from air and from everything else. And so it felt, like, really nice after it was in. But that initial shoving it in there was just super painful. But the problem is, uh, as you wear it, especially as we're putting the other drops in it, it would deteriorate until eventually it was completely, like, see through. I could see right out of it. So they'd have to take it out and put a new one in. So the thing that was actually killing the parasite was the
other counterparasite that they were putting in my. And that was the thing that I had to carry around, uh, in a water bottle on ICE. >> Speaker B: Oh, yes. >> Speaker A: To all my classes. And I had to take it, like, every three or 4 hours. >> Speaker C: The magical hydro flask, it had to. >> Speaker A: Stay cool, and I had to take it, like, three or four times a
day. My solution to that was carry around a hydro flask, fill it with ICE, and have this little squirt bottle thing inside of it. And every time I pulled it out, the ICE would melt and go everywhere, everywhere in class, and it dropped in my eye. >> Speaker C: Well, I feel like I didn't know that those eyedrops were so crucial. >> Speaker A: That was what actually killed the parasite. >> Speaker C: I thought it was just to keep the thing on your eye wet or something.
>> Speaker A: That was the counterpart m the placenta lens. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: That was just to basically keep anything else from interfering with it, uh, and to keep it safe while it healed. Because even after it was dead, um, my eye was still really fragile, and so they wanted to keep it on there. That third one, they wanted to put it on just so that nothing happened to it. It didn't get scratched or anything. And even to this day, my right eye is still, uh,
scarred from it. No matter how good of contact lenses I wear, it's always slightly blurry through my right eye. >> Speaker B: Weird. >> Speaker A: Yes. It's permanent damage. >> Speaker C: Wow, man. It's war story. See, kids don't go to college. >> Speaker A: Wait, not the worst part, but one of the worst parts of the whole thing was just walking around with an eye. We love that I look like people wouldn't say things to me, but I know people would say things about me.
>> Speaker C: No, a lot of what happened. I'm going to shoot straight with you. A lot of what happened was later people would come to Gavin and I, and, hey, like is, uh. Like, what's up with his, like, it's a long, like. And then depending on who it was, we'd be like, just talk to Austin. He'll tell you about his, um, whole. >> Speaker A: The whole ordeal after my last visit to the doctor was the following November. >> Speaker B: Geez.
>> Speaker A: So it started in December. Almost a full year of going to doctors and dealing with this crap. >> Speaker C: That's spooky. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: Some lessons you learn the hard way. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: You're better for it, right? Yeah, maybe. >> Speaker C: Wait. >> Speaker B: Yeah.
>> Speaker C: So the other thing that I learned, not the hard way, but through firsthand experience, is, and I don't know if this is the technical term for it, but we're going to shoot for it. So, um, it's called odontarufobia. Uh, and I'm probably saying that wrong. >> Speaker A: I suck at all the words fear of teeth or something. >> Speaker C: Uh, well, it's the fear of things going in your mouth, specifically tooth
instruments. Okay, now, there's not a fear of brushing teeth, but, um, when we were in college, you would disappear at toothbrushing time like some sort of mystery man. We all go brush our teeth, and Austin's gone, and we just didn't know where you went. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: But then I think it was the next year we found out that you're going to the lobby to brush your teeth.
>> Speaker A: I would go to a lot of different places. I, uh, would brush my teeth in the dorm or in the bathroom if it was late and no one was there. But if there was a bunch of people in there and I thought it was going to be a while, I'd sometimes go to the lobby, bathroom, or upstairs. >> Speaker C: When did this start? What is it exactly? You explain it. >> Speaker A: I don't think it's teeth brushing exactly. I think it's just saliva. Okay. I
think other people's saliva is just disgusting. And I don't like people seeing my saliva. It's just gross. Uh, I have gotten a lot better at it after getting married. I can brush my teeth with her in the room, but if she is looking at me or something, I'll be like, stop. I still do not want to be anywhere near her when she's brushing her teeth. Like, if she's brushing her teeth, I'll leave. >> Speaker B: We're out of here.
>> Speaker A: I don't know. I think it's just, like, gross because all the spit and the bubbles and. Exactly. Um, the worst part is the kids at work spit all the time and they hawk, like, loogies and stuff, and it's so good. And they'll spit in the garbage cans constantly. And that is something that really. I've managed to not let anyone there figure that out about me yet. That's why it's so gross. I don't know. >> Speaker C: Teenagers will feed on that
as soon as they figure out what gets you. They're just like, this is the one thing I will exist to do. >> Speaker A: I never knew that was like, uh. I mean, maybe it's a little more extreme with me, but it's nothing I really thought was out of the ordinary until I got to college. Really.
>> Speaker C: I think what really did it for us was when you told us, and we were probably much less respectful than your wife is, because when you told us, it was like, oh, so we should go get our toothbrush and brush. >> Speaker A: Your teeth next to me in my bed. >> Speaker C: Corner him while he's in bed and brush our teeth around. >> Speaker A: Amplifies it, too. When there's like, three people and you hear in the m mouth, that's so good, I can't wait.
>> Speaker C: Uh, yeah, but I think just to see you physically squirm, it was just unreal. >> Speaker A: It wasn't like, oh, man, I don't like that. >> Speaker C: This is almost causing you, like, mental harm. >> Speaker A: I think I'm learning to curb that a little bit. It's not as bad as it was for a time. >> Speaker C: Yeah, um, perfect. Um, I don't have any other big stories from college, if you have any from that time of your life,
specifically bathroom related. Yeah. >> Speaker A: The only one that I remember vividly was, um. You know, I'm going to talk about, um. >> Speaker C: Is it the car? >> Speaker A: No. Okay. It's specifically bathroom. I know what you're talking about, but no, this isn't that so this is me specifically. Uh, there was, like a parent weekend where parents could come down and go to your classes with you, and it's in the fall, and I think they did it every year, but I don't know. But
I think it was my. It was either my freshman or sophomore year. It might have even been before we knew each other. I can't remember, but I really can't remember. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Um, but anyway. Yeah, anyways, it could have been sophomore year anyways, so I like to poop in privacy. I don't like pooping
in a room with lots of people. And so I would go down to classrooms, build things, like late at night, and go upstairs into the bathrooms and poop there because it's quiet and there's no one there and I don't have to worry about anyone walking in on me or anything. And so I'd poop all over the place. And there's like two or three bathrooms that are really secluded on campus that I knew about.
But, yeah, when I was in a pinch, I would just go in the single person bathroom in the lobby in Davidson because I knew no one could walk in my own. So, um, there's actually, like a few stories about this bathroom, but the biggest one, the worst one for me was when it was that parent teacher conference week. Whatever. It wasn't conference, but college. It was like an orientate. I don't even know what they call it. >> Speaker C: Like a visit weekend.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, it's like a family visit weekend or whatever. And so a bunch of people's families were in town, and some of them were on the campus and in the dorms, like seeing their kids at college. And I had to poop really bad.
And it was probably like in the middle of the afternoon, like two or 03:00 in the afternoon, and I went out to do my thing normally, and I went to that private bathroom in the door in the lobby, and I went in there and I was in the middle of taking a poop, um, when all of a sudden, um. Should I say his name or. >> Speaker C: We'll fix it later if it's a problem. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Do you remember Josh? Uh, I think ostring was perfect. >> Speaker B: Yes.
>> Speaker A: Josh ostring. Um, he had his grandparents in town, so his grandma and his grandfather were there, and I'm assuming because they were kind of old. Um, they were there in the lobby, apparently. And you know how sometimes you forget to lock a door until it's too late? >> Speaker C: Oh, no. >> Speaker A: So I'm just going to town in there. It stinks really bad. This is bad. And opens up this door, just swings open, like, no knock, nothing. Just, whoo.
>> Speaker C: Surprise. >> Speaker A: And there's this, like, 70 year old lady with, like, gray hair, and she just kind of lets out, like, oh. And I didn't know what to do. I was just sitting there like, you've seen it. She's seen it all. >> Speaker C: She didn't run away that quick. >> Speaker A: She closed the door. But the thing is, there's only one way out of that bathroom, and it's right there in the lobby. And I didn't know how many other
people saw that or what. And I was so embarrassed. I got up and I locked the door. I finished up in there, but I was terrified to come out because I thought she was still waiting because I figured she had to go. And so I was like, oh, my gosh, she's probably waiting for me to finish out there, and I don't want to see her again ever in my life. And so I went on Facebook and I started messaging everybody I knew. And I was like, I am hiding in the Davidson bathroom, and there's a
grandma outside who just saw me pooping. And I need someone's help to distract her. Please help. >> Speaker C: So this is where I've heard of this story. >> Speaker A: I think eventually no one responded. I think I got, like, a few lulls and I was like, yeah, thanks. >> Speaker C: Just laughing at him. >> Speaker A: Eventually, I just opened the door and bolted to the left and straight into the hallway and then ran back to my room. And that was the end of that. But, uh,
it was just like that moment. The worst part wasn't even when she walked in. It was me sitting in there trying to figure out how to leave because I figured she seemed like one of those nice old ladies that was going to come up to me and be like, I am so sorry about that. I didn't want that, you know, she wanted to be gone and hide, you. >> Speaker C: Know, if you did, she would be like, I promise I didn't see anything. Which is the worst thing, because that just means that she did.
>> Speaker A: Uh, yeah, uh, it was pretty bad. >> Speaker C: Oh, man. No, that's awesome. Man, I wish I would have been. >> Speaker A: Don't. >> Speaker C: I wish I could have been Josh Ostrich's grandfather so that way I could do the triage, uh, with her. You know what? >> Speaker B: Only way. >> Speaker A: The only reason I knew it was them is because I'd seen them with him earlier in the day, like, at one classes.
>> Speaker C: And so it was like, uh, visiting. Dude, the only memory I have about visit weekend was Dr. D doing the spiel on song of Solomon, and he walks in and he looks up, and there's just all the parents in the back row, and he, like, he didn't. >> Speaker A: Even know they were there. >> Speaker C: Yeah, well, he realized they were there. He goes, well, today we're talking about sex. And then he just kept going. Just didn't miss a beat. This dude has it.
>> Speaker A: You know you're close to retirement when. >> Speaker C: Hey, who knows, man? That guy. It's crazy to think that he used to be, like, in a rock band. >> Speaker A: I didn't even know back in the day. >> Speaker C: Yeah, he used to be, like, a drummer or something. Surprising rock band. >> Speaker A: Yeah, he's wild. >> Speaker C: Um, well, first, uh, do you want to talk about honey jars at all? >> Speaker B: Honey jars?
>> Speaker C: You don't have to. No, a simple no will suffice. >> Speaker A: I just don't really like. Honestly, you guys remember more about this than I do. >> Speaker C: Perfect. Then that's all that needs to be said. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker C: Uh, so any other bathroom stories? I have a few questions that I ask everybody, but they can kind of go rapid fire at the end. If you have any other pertinent bathroom stories about
you or your brother. You have a little brother. I'm sure he's got something that he would love for everyone to hear about. >> Speaker A: I was trying to think of some before, but I haven't had too many. Other than things that everyone experiences. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: And I find that people really have one or two traumatic or big bathroom things. And that's it. And everything else is just little sprinklings all over the floor. Um,
well, cool. So I have a few questions, um, to ask, and the first is, I can almost verify one. So, what type of toilet paper are you all charming? The big, beautiful bears. >> Speaker A: My wife doesn't care. I do. >> Speaker B: Wow. >> Speaker A: Softest, fluffiest, and it's the best. >> Speaker C: Are you doing the ultra strong red package or blue? >> Speaker A: I don't know if I do that as often. >> Speaker C: He's reaching for it.
>> Speaker A: Get the cheapest one, so probably not, but that is a thick. As long as it's charmin. >> Speaker C: My goodness, that's a thick roll. >> Speaker A: I always get the charmin. >> Speaker C: Yeah, the big, beautiful bears. Um, well, hey, he's a charmin man. He knows what he likes. >> Speaker A: Um, I also know it takes more than four squares. Is that your. >> Speaker C: That's. Well, I'm on record saying three squares.
>> Speaker A: Three squares. That's crazy. >> Speaker C: Especially with that. That stuff's thick. >> Speaker A: Yeah, but what, do you fold it? >> Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. >> Speaker A: I'm not a folder. >> Speaker C: Oh, perfect. Go ahead. Tell us how you do it. You'll save me a question. >> Speaker A: If I'm doing it, I just kind of do that. >> Speaker C: Wow, that's a lot of sheet. >> Speaker A: I crinkle it and then.
>> Speaker C: Sweet. >> Speaker A: Sometimes I'll make, like a nice little. There you go. >> Speaker B: Huh? >> Speaker A: There you go. I used to be a folder, but the problem with that is, I don't know. I feel like my fingers get closer than they need to to the crack, to the hole, to the black hole. I feel like with more toilet paper, there's more of a barrier between my fingers and my pooper.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: You just got to keep things centered on it, you know what I mean? >> Speaker A: I guess. I don't know. Either way, I just can't fathom three squares. That's insane to me. >> Speaker C: Well, but it's organized. Three squares. >> Speaker A: One, two, three. Yes, that much. >> Speaker C: And then you fold it. >> Speaker A: You fold it in half nicely again. >> Speaker C: I'm getting a live tutorial of what.
>> Speaker B: I do regularly now. >> Speaker C: I will say, if what you did was wet or you feel like there's going to need to be some aggressive happening, you go one or two extra squares. >> Speaker A: I do one or two rolls like that. The first one, uh, it probably is. >> Speaker C: Well, no, but I also wipe like, five to seven times. So five to seven times at three squares of wipe. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker A: So you don't use the same. Okay.
>> Speaker C: Yeah, we're not going hard. >> Speaker A: My dad used to explain how if you're ever lost in the woods, how to wipe with one. >> Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. >> Speaker C: One square. Is this the finger trick? >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Poke the finger through? >> Speaker A: Uh, yeah, or something like that. Where he said the first thing you do is you save the corners like that. >> Speaker C: Interesting.
>> Speaker A: And so you take off all the little corners. And then after that, you basically put your finger through. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker C: This is it. >> Speaker A: This is wipe it around. And then you just dig around in there. And then you use these. >> Speaker C: Root around in your skew, clean off. >> Speaker B: Whatever you got on your fingers. Yeah.
>> Speaker A: Never tried it. Never want to. Um, I think I would just wait till I find a bathroom. >> Speaker C: I have not tried that, but I think I might just for posterity's sake in the show. >> Speaker A: Uh, try it. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Would be the first thing I've tried for this show. I'm sitting in your bathroom right now. >> Speaker A: Some questions I don't need to know the answer to. But if you
do, that's. Some people do. That's great. If I can get the answer from you, that's even better. >> Speaker C: Perfect. >> Speaker A: I happen to do it myself. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: And that's really 90% of the time. That's what this show is all about. So, again, just a quick visual check, but are you a bar soap or. >> Speaker A: A liquid soap, lad? Liquid soap. Liquid soap. Perfect. I work at prison. >> Speaker C: I don't understand the reference.
>> Speaker A: You don't understand the reference? Well, no. Don't, uh, go to prison. >> Speaker C: I refuse. I wouldn't do well in prison. >> Speaker A: Wait. >> Speaker C: Yeah, there's no pokemon go in prison. >> Speaker A: And I don't think anyone does well in prison. >> Speaker C: Oh, some people do pretty well. >> Speaker A: I, uh, think people get used to it. I don't know if they do well, they do somebody.
>> Speaker C: Wow. What's your opinion on baths? How are you on baths? >> Speaker A: I love baths. I take more baths than my wife. >> Speaker C: You're going to have to run me through your process here. Um, so will you just come in and declovee and write into the bath? Are you good with that? >> Speaker A: Pretty much, yeah. >> Speaker C: That doesn't give you any anxiety? >> Speaker A: Anxiety?
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Why would that give me anxiety? >> Speaker C: Well, for me, and I've shared here, uh, I do not do baths. >> Speaker A: What? >> Speaker C: Why? Because you're like your own human stew. Like, you're just kind of sitting in. >> Speaker A: Your own wet marinate. >> Speaker C: Yeah. That's bad. >> Speaker A: You're okay with wiping with one finger?
>> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: You have a problem with sitting? >> Speaker C: I'm okay with trying to wipe with one finger. >> Speaker A: I will say that I don't usually use baths as the prime form of cleaning myself. >> Speaker C: Right. >> Speaker A: Like, if I take a bath, especially if it's. I don't usually take them in the morning. So if I do take a bath, it's usually, like, when I get home from work and I'm tired and I just want to sit and
relax. Yeah. Um, my wife has gotten lots of bath salts and stuff from. Or, like, um, the bath bombs. I love the bath bombs. But she never takes baths, ever. I don't know that she's ever taken more than one or two that I've been aware of since we've been married. And so we had all these stuff that we got from our wedding and from birthdays and whatever before my family really knew that she didn't take baths. And so I've used almost all of it. Uh, we don't have any left. I've
used it all. Oh, my God. I'll pour the salts in and use the bath bomb. And I've told her, too, like, hey, if you want to get me a present for Christmas, like a cheap stocking. >> Speaker C: Stuffer thing, you're just going hard. >> Speaker A: Give me a bath bomb. >> Speaker C: I love baths. >> Speaker A: The more of that stuff you put in there, too. The more you can kind of trick yourself into thinking that you're in some kind of cleansing.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Instead of the key modifier being trick myself. Um, no. Hey, good for you. >> Speaker A: Uh, which is funny, though, because she likes hot tubs, and I don't really like hot tubs. >> Speaker B: Oh. >> Speaker C: See, I'm all good on hot tubs because the water is moving. >> Speaker A: Yeah. The cleanliness part isn't the part about it that gets me. It's too hot. I sit in there and I'm sweaty, and I just don't enjoy
it because it's too hot. It's too warm. >> Speaker C: Yeah, I get that. That's fair. >> Speaker A: God wants in a pool. >> Speaker C: Yeah, pools are fine. Except for you could get cryptosporidium and it's fun. Um, whatever. Uh, so you got any bathroom pet peeves? Anything bathroom related that just drives you absolutely bonkers? >> Speaker B: Yes. Um. >> Speaker C: So I'm just going to go ahead and get ahead of you. Um, he's not on the hook for the next five to
six minutes. All right. Um, I forced him to say this. >> Speaker A: Something actually, to my wife's credit. Um, she, I didn't think would ever stop doing this, and she pretty much has stopped completely. >> Speaker B: Perfect. >> Speaker A: My mom did this. I think anyone who's lived in a house with a woman of any kind has probably experienced this. >> Speaker C: I know what's coming. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: The hair on the shower. Ding, ding, ding.
Shower wall. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker C: Circle gets the square. I don't understand this. >> Speaker A: My sister used to do it. My mom used to do it. And as soon as we were here, I saw them. They appear. You get in there for the shower, and they're just on the wall. And I told her, that is one of my biggest pet peeves, and I can't stand it. And I don't even remember the last time I saw one. I don't know if she wipes them down now or what she does, but they're gone.
>> Speaker C: I've watched my wife's trick, and you just kind of take the finger and swirl and it creates just a little, like, hair nugget, and you just throw it away. >> Speaker A: Oh, really? >> Speaker C: Yeah, that's the trick I've witnessed. >> Speaker A: Um, that's one thing I really appreciate about her. That was one of those things I expected that I was just going to live with for the rest of my life. Yeah, the little hairs on the sharp bit.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: So do you all fight over which way the toilet paper faces here? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: We both know that it goes. >> Speaker C: You both feel that? That's right. >> Speaker A: We both know that's right. >> Speaker B: Okay. Uh-huh. >> Speaker A: You're not underneath, are you? >> Speaker C: Uh, I am convinced it doesn't matter.
>> Speaker A: I'm convinced you're wrong. Well, it goes over the top. >> Speaker C: We can't settle this now. Um, so just the hair and the toothbrushing. But you know that. >> Speaker A: I can really think of pet peeves. I'm assuming you mean things that other people do in the bathroom. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Or you. That you're like, I wish I could change public bathrooms.
>> Speaker A: There's plenty of pet. Yes. I don't get people who graffiti sometimes to read, but, uh, especially at my work. It's like, you live here. Why are you guys making your own bathroom look like a pig style? It makes no sense to me. I don't know. Uh, or people who carve into the glass on, like, a public restroom. >> Speaker C: That's annoying.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, that annoys me. Or people who just throw stuff like you walk into a restroom, there's just, like, an entire roll of toilet paper on the ground. >> Speaker B: Why? >> Speaker C: My favorite is when you walk in and the pointless potty seat covers. They've pulled one, but they got the whole package out and it's all over the floor. >> Speaker B: Come on. >> Speaker A: Yeah, thanks for ruining that for anyone else. I don't use those, though.
>> Speaker C: Uh, I don't either. No, I can't figure them out. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I used to be sensitive about that, but then I was just like, well, now if there's any liquid on the seat, I've even got to the point where I'll just wipe it off. >> Speaker B: And sit on it. >> Speaker A: I used to look for a clean one, but I was like, whatever the. >> Speaker C: Seat covers thing is, like, every time I put one down,
I can't get the flap to go the right way. And I'll go in the front, and then it gets in the water, and then when I shift to wipe, it just falls in. Yeah, but if I put it in the back, the poop hits. >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I hate that. >> Speaker A: When you're trying to move around or you stand up for something, and then now that it's, like, covering your butt, it's a mess. >> Speaker C: It's just not worth it.
>> Speaker A: Um, and I think it's funny, too, that places will be so quick to have those for you to protect your butt. And yet there's no way of opening the door without using your hands. And I guarantee you there's a million more germs on that door handle than you're going to get on your butt. >> Speaker C: M. Yeah, the toilet seat is definitely not the worst culprit for the bathroom. I'm pretty sure, like, sink surfaces. >> Speaker A: Your own phone. Your own phone is like.
>> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: Most people do not clean their phones on a regular basis. >> Speaker C: I regularly, once a week, just lick the surface of my phone just to keep your. Who needs vaccines? >> Speaker B: No. Um. >> Speaker C: You'Re good. Uh, what food establishment messes you up the worst? Like, just does you dirty? >> Speaker B: Um. >> Speaker A: Probably, um, any kind of thai food. I do not really
like thai food. Anything with, like, curry or, like, spicy stuff. Curry? I don't like eating anything that's hot or spicy or sour, for that matter. I just don't really do that stuff. But honestly, I can eat fast food, Taco Bell, McDonald's, any of it. It doesn't really affect me. >> Speaker C: So thai food, huh? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: I mean, stuff gives me gas, like fight beans or broccoli or whatever.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: But I have a pretty tough stomach. >> Speaker B: I feel like. >> Speaker C: Yeah, hey, that's the way to, um. So when. I don't know if you were aware of this, but when we were in college, um, I don't know if you remember Matt Gibson. You remember him? M he was one of the ping pong golf ball guys down the hall with all the cinder blocks. >> Speaker B: Okay.
>> Speaker C: Remember that? Um, he came up, or probably didn't come up with, but he taught me about the dark shower. Um, have you ever taken a dark shower? >> Speaker A: Like a shower in the dark? >> Speaker C: Yeah, shower, lights off. >> Speaker A: Not intentionally. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker C: Well, uh, it'll change your life. >> Speaker A: Why?
>> Speaker C: It's like a sensory deprivation thing. Um, I'm just mostly spreading the good news of the dark shower right now. >> Speaker A: Close your eyes. >> Speaker C: No, it's different. There's something about having your eyes all the way open and not being able to see while you shower. It's just better. Well, so if you haven't done that, um, have you ever tried to eat an orange in the shower or have you ever tried to eat or drink anything in the shower?
>> Speaker A: Um, not usually. I mean, I have been eating something, and then we'll put the rest of it in my mouth before I get in. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: So not active? >> Speaker A: No. Mostly just because it'll get my food wet. >> Speaker C: Yeah, but I think the notion is like, something like an orange, you're going to get a mess anyway. You might as well just get in the shower, I guess.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. It's never really occurred to me. It's one of those things that. >> Speaker C: There you go. >> Speaker A: I do have a problem with, like, eating on the toilet. I don't get people who do that. >> Speaker C: In one end, out the other. >> Speaker B: Huh? >> Speaker C: No. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: That's weird to me. To eat where you defecate. >> Speaker B: Yeah, but sometimes you have to.
>> Speaker A: Sometimes you don't slice pizza. >> Speaker C: You're at youth group. The only place away from all the teens is the bathroom you go in. >> Speaker A: You don't eat pizza with your youth? >> Speaker C: No, I eat it with them. But, like, when you just need a second, eat your pizza in peace. I'm going to go toss one back in the bathroom. >> Speaker A: See, I don't find that. I don't know, I wouldn't be able
to. I would feel more peace eating the pizza in front of them than on a toilet. >> Speaker C: Oh, no, it's not an in front of them thing. It's like, can I eat this pizza without some? >> Speaker A: I'd rather have the kid annoy me. >> Speaker C: Shouting yolo in my ear. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I'd still rather have that. Hey, fair enough. >> Speaker C: Have you ever performed a waffle stomp?
>> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Uh, but maybe it's kind of on my bucket list. I've always wanted to poop in a urinal. That's like my thing. Hey, I've always wanted to poop in, like, you know, those urinals that, um. Have you ever been to Judson middle school here in Salem? >> Speaker C: Are these like the ground urinals? >> Speaker A: No, they're the ones that kind of look like they're almost like bowls, but they stick out from the. >> Speaker C: Oh, no.
>> Speaker A: I don't know. It's almost like a toilet bowl, but it's a urinal and it sticks out really far and you could almost, like, sit on one and poop in it. >> Speaker C: And it's a urinal. >> Speaker A: And it's a urinal. But the only problem is there are no dividers or anything there. Like, they're all just next to each other. So if anyone walks in, also, it's a middle school, you're going to go to jail.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: But I've always thought it would be interesting to try and poop in a year old, but I've, in theory, thought about how it would work to poop in the shower. But I feel like I haven't ever lived in my own place and I feel like if anyone I lived with found out that I did that, they would be less than excited about it. >> Speaker C: They are when they find out. When they find out, all right, they're less than excited.
>> Speaker A: I can't say, uh, it's something that I need to do before I die, but maybe if I was ever at a camp. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: And I was with a bunch of weirdos, maybe. >> Speaker C: Yeah. Spirit moves. Yeah. Would you be more inclined to do that or just like, poop and try. >> Speaker A: To catch it and toss it in the toilet. >> Speaker B: That's not happening.
>> Speaker A: If I'm going to toss in the toilet, why wouldn't it just go in the first place? >> Speaker C: Because you don't want to get out of the shower all wet. >> Speaker A: I will say that something about how wet poop is affects my desire to touch it. Uh, there's been times where I've been out in the yard, and I've been trying to take care of
my dog's poop, and it's been out there for a while. It's all crusty and dry, and I almost just want to pick it up and throw it in the thing because that shovel is, like, on the other side of the yard. >> Speaker C: I'm like, it's so much easier, but. >> Speaker A: When it's wet and it's, like, hot. That's gross. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: Throw. We used to throw cow, uh, turds at each other in high school in just. It was
like, pine cone fights, but it was just, like, cow chips. Just. >> Speaker A: I've definitely been over at my friend Seth's house because he lives kind of, like, on a farm almost. They have horses and stuff. I've been over there before and picked up, like, we've had, like, dirt claw fights. Dirt clot. What do you call them? Yeah, the dirt and dirt clot explode. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Um, we've done that before, and I've picked one up and
been like, this is weird. And definitely had it been cow or. >> Speaker C: Horse poop, this is a special dirt claw. >> Speaker A: And I was kind of like, oh, and I had already broken it apart. I was in it, and then just. >> Speaker C: Like, this cap of toothpaste stuff. >> Speaker A: You smelled it? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: Tasted it. >> Speaker C: Get your snoot right. Actually, you can eat.
You would not. Well, I won't say you wouldn't, but you're less likely to get sick from cow and horse poop because they eat. >> Speaker A: Plants, really, than your own poop? >> Speaker C: Uh, yes, because the meat, the bacteria, feeds on the proteins. Like, the meat proteins. >> Speaker A: Yeah. I've even heard that drinking your own urine, especially if you drink a lot of water during the day, isn't even that. Because it's, like, 90% water. >> Speaker B: Yeah.
>> Speaker C: It's supposed to be sterile, but I don't. Go ahead. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: That's not a question you need answered. >> Speaker C: Well, cool. That's all the questions and all the things I have for you. Um, do you have anything that you want to leave folks with or, uh, any parting remarks? >> Speaker A: Yeah, lock the door if you don't want anyone in the building walking in on you. >> Speaker C: Perfect. It's good advice all around.
>> Speaker A: I even locked the door here. >> Speaker C: Really? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: It's weird. My wife always gets mad at me because I will poop before I shower. >> Speaker C: Okay, then. You don't, um, unlock in between? >> Speaker A: Yeah, but I just lock doors, like, behind me in general, so I don't even know if that's a bathroom thing. Maybe it's from that. >> Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah.
>> Speaker A: Hey, but I go out the door, I lock it. I lock everything. I just lock doors behind me. Uh, that's also part of where I work, too. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker A: But I will definitely get in here and lock the door, poop, and then forget to unlock it, get in the shower, and then she'll be mad because I need to go use my makeup or whatever. >> Speaker C: I just don't lock bathroom doors ever. Unless it's, like, a stall, and I'll latch the stall.
>> Speaker A: But you're waiting for that opportunity to I just traumatize someone's grandma. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Speaker C: No, for me, it's like a safety thing. Like, I want to know who the intruder is before they try to kill me. >> Speaker A: I see. >> Speaker C: I can pop it open, and I can get the element of surprise on them. No, I don't know. Well, cool. Well, thank you for letting me set up all my nonsense in your bathroom. >> Speaker A: This is fun.
>> Speaker C: And harassing you for. >> Speaker A: Thanks for letting me be part of it. >> Speaker C: Yeah. Um, and thank you all for listening. You get to see the weird, shameful ending that I hate doing. >> Speaker A: You ever watch your dog poop? >> Speaker C: And they have like. They're like, that's how I feel every time I do the ending where I'm like, hey, you should come check out the show. It'll be really great. Send me an email.
No, but, yeah, follow us on social media at Privycast. Send us an email, privycast@gmail.com. I'm going as fast as I can. Um, we'd like to thank. And we have to thank. We'd like to, though, Kevin, uh, McLeod for the use of barroom ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find Kevin's music@incompetent.com his music is licensed under Creative Commons license Attribution 4.0. Thanks, Kevin. This has been another episode of privy. Thank you for
listening. Thank you for being here in your own home and your own bathroom. And now, as always, don't forget to flush.