>> Hunter Hoover: You think you've done enough in the wiping area of bathrooming and then you, you hike up your drawers, you pack out of the bathroom and it's like 10 or 15 minutes later and you get that weird itch and you get that weird like, oh man, I got to go back and revisit the wipe zone. Welcome to Privy Potty aficionados. Not sure if that'going to stick, but, this is a podcast about toilets recorded live from a toilet. I'm Hunter. I'm a guy who has lots of stories
around bathrooms. And I would say I spend a moderate to, yeah, I'd say moderate amount of time in restrooms as compared to others. and one of the things that, I kind of have become is just overly curious on the everyday stuff. And so I sat down and if you were asking yourself, why is this guy, making podcasts about bathrooms and stuff? It's because I got really curious about restrooms and about, the history and just all the different things that go into
restrooms. and so we're going to explore those as I stated last week, but, this week. Ah, quick check in. So, its been really good to get the podcast out there and begin, taking bathrooms really seriously. And I know that sounds like Im joking, but, its very, very important that we take bathrooms seriously. we spend a lot of time in bathrooms and so theres no sense in dilly dallying or goofing around if we were going to be talking about them.
so, we're going to be talking about something that is very, very near and dear to my heart. but it's also even more near and dear to my bottom, this week. And that's going to be toilet paper. The stuff is wonderful. I'm staring at some right now. It is Kirkland Signature bath tissue. and this claims that it has 425 sheets per roll. Never counted it. No reason to doubt them. but this
week we're talking about toilet paper. So remember, one of the things that is going to happen frequently as we go through is we are going to realize, man, we are probably living in the prime history of bathrooming. And that's great. and so this is no difference here we are living in the prime of instruments to wipe our bottom with. and we have countless options of material. So
like I said, I've got Kirkland Signature. the stuff is cheap, but it also isn't like paper thin, which is super great, but they also have like the stuff that is at most people's employers, which is like barely tissue paper. And we're going to talk about hole punching yourself later. but they also have this like triple ply plush, bare fur crusted toilet paper that you're going to be able to take a nap
on if you really wanted to. and so there's countless, countless different things that we use as paper today, to de dookie our bottoms. We have no shortage of options to wipe with. And so as we are entering the new year, I want you to take a moment and think about how blessed you are to live in a time where we have something in anything to wipe with. and let alone something that is disposable, that
you deal with it and it's done and it's gone. Because one of the things we're going to look at is just some of the insane things that people have used throughout history to wipe themselves. And we talked a little bit last week about the ancient Roman wiping wand. what a treasure that is. And thank goodness we have moved past that. So in olden times there was a number of instruments,
that we used to wipe. And so I'm just going to list a few of these and I might get stuck on a few of them because as, you will see, they are worth getting stuck on. So, those instruments for wiping throughout history include bits of fabric. Makes sense. leaves, bark. Nope. Big nope. There. sticks, palm branches, snow. I kind of get that would'be cold. moss, corn husks and corn cobs. Now we're going to take a look at corn cobs because we need to
talk a bit about that. But we just take a moment and how wild it is to remember that your hand is an option. And still in many cultures Today, it is totallyiting_ep to reach back with your hand wipe and then later wash your hand. and with that in mind, at some point, folks chose corn cobs and sticks over their hand. Yep. So first, it should be noted that there's been a
number of items used over the years. and it is a. And I don't think I need to explain this to too many people, but it's obvious that wiping is better than not. and unfortunately, when we're doing a podcast about bathroomoming, there's going to be some instances where there's going to be talk that is maybe not the most comfortable, but I would hope that I'm not speaking into an echo chamber when I talk about that sensation where you think you've done Enough in the
wiping area of bathroomoming. And then you, you hike up your drawers, you pack out of the bathroom and it's like 10 or 15 minutes later and you get that weird itch and you get that weird, like, oh, man, I gotta go back and revisit the wipe zone because maybe you missed it now. Imagine that. But you never did anything. You just pooped and then moved on. It's got to be a mess. And so I don't think it took people in history too long to figure out, hey, we should probably do something to get rid of
this nasty brown stuff. and so just a little fun thing there. we have a lot of things like you saw through history, that are, but that they used for this type stuff. And I wonder often, like, obviously, I think maybe the hand was probably one of the early things that they said, yeah, okay, we can de poop with this. But I wonder what some, of those other things, things were early on. it makes you wonder. But, as they did, I guess it's science to figure out what worked
well and what did not. I don't think it took long to realize, like, soft is good, and sharing is bad. But we made it to the Romans, so they shared. And so I think nowadays in my brain, and I'm sure that if you have opinions about this, please, please, please feel free to let me know. But as I think about toilet paper, I think of the three fold traits of good toilet paper being durability,
comfort and practicality. And so as we look at some of these maybe older and more arcane ways of wiping your bum, we're going to maybe make comments about durability, comfort and practicality because, ah, like I said, you know, a durability today would. I think Kirkland signature is pretty durable. I don't have any complaints on the comfort zone. It's pretty practical. Comes on a roll, and my wife and I
fight over which way it's supposed to face. But, early people, they likely reached for leaves and ferns. Highly practical, maybe not so comfortable. and then later, moss. So you see how we're moving from, what is easy to get a hold of and going, okay, but if I work a little bit harder, I can find this nice spongy stuff and it doesn't hurt my butt much. M. and so moving into moss and other natural material. And that makes sense, you know, you go in or near the bush to
go to the bathroom. You might as well use part of the bush to clean up and imagine learning about plant life around you through that method. The way that we identify plants is. Oh yeah, that's the one that's really nice on my butt when I wipe with it. Today we have like scientific names, but before that, you know, it's a possibility that that is soft on, my drriere rlus. And I'm going to use that to wipe also. Dave's not around this week. he's still
chilling in ancient Rome. so we'll have to find a new friend as we maybe talk about some of these things. But, later it seems people began to reach for things that had a cleaning quality. So we see like snow. Or maybe you just take a bath after you go poop and you don't even worry about the whole wiping thing because now you're just getting right in there. but I, man, imagine using snow that has to be cold. I've only used a bidet once and, and that it was probably room temperature
water. But man, when it is blasting you it's cold and the sensation is that it is cold. So I can't imagine just yoinking snow back there in order to clean yourself. But whatever, frost blast to the booty zone. But at least you're clean. Low comfort, medium practicality. I'm not even going to get into the durability and the melting and all that stuff. That's a mess. but, but taking a bath after each time you go to the bathroom, that gets a pretty low practicality.
Especially later, when, when good water was of shortage. And so you're probably washing with like also nasty water. it's a mess. So it also appears that at some point reaching back and like getting the motion back to the zone was a problem because people started turning to instruments. And we talked last week in the ancient Romans about the wiping wand. And that's going to make a little bit of a thing with the stick. But, they would often use like rags or strips of material tied around them.
Maybe it gave more leverage. And in parts of the world where corn existed. Here we go. people would use the husks and then also the eaten cobs for wiping. And that is just a terribly awful picture. It just, you're, you have finished your bathroom business and what do you reach for to clean your poop off of you, but a hopefully eaten corn cob? I mean, I assume that they had the courtesy to at least eat the corn off the cob before they cob into the butt zone. And now I
have super duper Honesty time. I have this terrible picture that sometimes happens when you eat too much corn and it doesn't get digested as well. And now you have wiped in. There is the corn has returned full circle to the cob. That's in my head. And I'm sorry that I shared it. But imagine walking up also. Nope. Imagine walking up. You're maybe headed to the local bush to use the restroom as
well. And you round the corner and here's Charles posted up behind the bush, and he's got the corn cob, and he is using the corn cob to clean himself. I don't know what I would do. I don't know what I would do with that information. To me, Charles and I's relationship has to change. It has to, because I've seen what Charles does with the corn cob now, and it's not okay. And I can't unsee it. And I'm sorry, Charles, but I'm probably not going to come over and hang
out as often. Or I would, who knows? but historically, most anything could be used for wiping if it was convenient enough and there was enough of the item laying around that it was easily accessible. and it should be noted that paper and things similar to paper existed during a lot of these times. But paper and papyrus and other such materials were valuable. And so using them for anything other than writing or record keeping, that was unheard of.
Like, you're using the thing by which we pass information on to de poop yourself. And why use history books when a fern will do the trick, I guess is the thought I would argue the fern does not do the trick in my opinion today. but the first sign of toilet paper was for the. Was for the Chinese emperor in 1390. I'm not sure what made the family make his toilet paper. but one of the first things they realized is that there wasn't a great way to dispose of
waste at the time. And so they found that the crack still stank. And so to address that concern, the first take on toilet paper was actually perfumed. They were these perfumed sheets that they would soak in some stank liquid. And then you would like, present it to the Chinese emperor and go, here you go, friend. please clean your zone with this nice, good smelling paper.
it was perfumed and that's wild. I hope it wasn't wet. I don't know if it was like more on the seasoned side of perfume rather than the soaked side, but in my brain it's this like, almost like clorox Wet wipe, baby wipe, but it smells like lavender. And then they wiped with that. That's what I have in my brain. As paper became easier to make likely after the printing press and other technologies, people may have turned to perhaps the pages of their least favorite books to wipe
themselves. and I know like a lot of times there's this joke going around of, you know, toilet paper costs so much money that you'd be better off wiping your butt with real money. And I don't think we're there, but man, imagine the dig of taking some author'book and using it to wipe your. But I guess they'd never know unless you told them. But I don't know. I guess I'm trying to think of what book I would use first. Probably some like, young adult
thing that's written today. I feel like there's too many of them, but whatever. so you've got like possibly books being torn to use as toilet paper. And now we are with the Chinese emperor and this idea of the printing press. We are in the paper family, but we are not out of the woods yet. And so after 500 years, the emperor did his thing. And then 500 years later, Joseph Guilleti seems to have taken a, ah, play out of history with the first commercially packaged toilet
paper in 1857. and like the Chinese counterpart, they were packaged in sheets stacked one upon the other, much like a ream of paper, a box of Swiffer pads. and another play that he took out of the product on the pads is that they were medicated with aloe. So you have these like, medicated butt wipes that have the good, good juice that is used for sunburns, but now it's used for helping your butt not have butt stuff on it. I don't like what I just said.
Anyway, they were Medicaid with aloe. And the other thing, and this is the wild part, is like this man made a piece of paper that he knew, hey, I'mnna make these sheets and people are gonna grab them and people are going to stick them on, near or in their butt to remove poop. You know what I should do? I'm going to print my name on them. So he printed his name on every sheet. And thus the Gilleti medicated paper came to be. And almost, as soon as it came to be, it proved too costly because it
was a huge flop. And I don't know, to me I would have like, yeah, I don't think people want aloe But. But that's just my thought. So then Seth Wheeler, a man named Seth Wheeler had the idea of putting paper into rolls and later perforating the sheets, which is wild. That, like, I don't know, to me, the perforation is the least, like, convenient thing. Like, you can just tear it. It's not that thick.
But, Seth Wheeler is the guy we have to thank for the idea of the toilet paper roll and putting it on these sheets. and the patent was granted to seth Wheeler in 1871 for the toilet paper roll. And this patent has become famous in recent years, because somebody decided that they needed to take it and post it and pass it around the Internet as a way to show, hey, possibly husbands and maybe also possibly wives out there, you've been putting the toilet paper
on. And this is where the air quotes come in backwards your whole lives. I'm not sure why it matters so much, but Seth Wheeler's patent suggests that. And this is where we settle nothing. But do say it, that the toilet paper is supposed to flop over the front. Not, sure why, but that's how Seth wanted it. And so that's how Seth gets it. and so from this new idea, the Scott Paper Company. Now, I can't read that without thinking of the
Michael Scott Paper Company. But the Scott Paper Company began to produce rolls of toilet paper, though it was not marked as such. and the reason is in complete pendulum swing from, the Geti medicated paper is. Gaieti is like my name on every sheet that will touch a person's butt. And the Scott Paper Company was like, we are not besmirching our company's name. And so we do not want to be associated with this good toilet paper that we're going to be
making. And so we've moved from wiping with a corn cob to worrying about if a piece of tissue paper is being used on someone's butt to besmirch the company's name, who made it. And you can almost, like, we live in a different world because you can almost hear, like, some old lady in near or around the boardroom of the Scott Paper Company hearing folks were introducing toilet paper. And she just swoons and passes out in the background and, like a dish breaks. just in my
brain, I guess. Eventually it stopped being taboo to talk about booty wiping. that or the toilet paper began to make so much money that they stopped carrying. Because in 1902, the Scott paper Company stopped selling their products under many brand names and began selling Waldorf toilet Paper, which was their first branded toilet paper. and from there, Scott
tissue was a thing of marketing. And as they branded and rebranded their new roles of perforated tissue, they saw sales and profits increase. And it makes sense. You have now made something that meets the three criteria. It's comfortable, it's durable, and it's practical. It's on a roll. it's great. I love the stuff. Toilet paper is amazing. and outside of marketing, the Scott Paper company was profitable because
of their good timing. about the time that the toilet paper roll started to be produced by the Scott Paper Company, indoor plumbing had become more and more popular and standardized in homes. And it was as if these two technologies and inventions were seemingly made for each other and led to one another success. and I wondered how thin that toilet paper was like Scott toilet paper was back in the day. Because, like, I'm thinking I'm a janitor. So that also lends to a
lot of my interest in toilets. I've seen some great things and I'm sure you'll hear some stories on here. but one of the things that I see so much as a janitor is the moment where someone has obviously tried to flush too much. And then it's like, well, I've sunk that much toilet paper. Maybe I should try to put more toilet paper in the bowl and see if it will also go down with the stuff that has not gone down so
far. And then you end up with the like almost basketball size clump of wet toilet paper that has decided to lodge it itself in the hole at the bottom of the toilet. and so that's just a little treasure that I get. And I'm looking at the side of this curland signature and it says that it's good for septic tanks. And so those two things make me think that whatever this toilet paper was like early in the day, it had to
be paper thin. And you know that the first time somebody went to wipe their butt and their finger punched through that toilet paper, they cursed the Scott Paper Company. Nobody wants that. And so I just, with the state of early plumbing, I just can't imagine that the Scott paper was good stuff. Maybe it was. If somebody out there, I don't know,
I'm going to look it up later. But if I can find like a picture of this stuff, if it was better quality than the toilet paper we have now, we've got a lot to think about. but packaging, softness, sizing, wrapper all changed throughout the years. Yeah, see Softness. That means it got better, to keep the Scott Paper Company relevant. And the Scott Paper Company existed as an entity until 1995. But Scott Stissue tissue, Scott tissue is still sold today. This stuff'still
around. I can go to Fred Mey or Nerd Mart and buy Scott tissue. I don't. Because Kirkland's signature again is, in my opinion, the best bang for your buck. And I dont believe you need anything much thicker. Never hole punch myself with a piece of Kirkland signature. But the reason, if we have nothing to be thankful for, take time to be thankful that you live in
a time with toilet paper. I know I mentioned at the end of last week, like, hey, be thankful that you're not doing the whole like, wipe onend fighting rats sitting next to Dave. But for real, that moment when you go into a bathroom and you do your business and you poop and then you reach for toilet paper and there's none there. That feeling is terrible.
It's the worst. Especially if you're in like a public restroom or in a restroom, like in a store, because then you have no clue if you're going to be able to incognito your way into another stall to grab some toilet paper or God forbid, that stall is also out. And then we've got a new problem. So think about that feeling that you have when there's no toilet paper and now magnify it that it doesn't exist.
That's an awful feeling. And you'd have to get creative and I think you'd probably have to do laundry a lot more for a while. If I mean, as I think about it, I'd probably like take off a sock and try that out at least before I do a corn cob. That's just me. so we have a lot to be thankful for. We treat it toilet paper. This is the weird thing is today, I think a lot of times we treat toilet paper as a right. We think we're like, entitled to have toilet paper.
We go into a bathroom at a restaurant or a store or in a public place and if there's no toilet paper like said, it's like, oh man, they blew it. There's no toilet paper here. That's rough. And it's a privilege. A company. I mean, they probably. There might be laws about this. I don't know. I should probably not say that. But I don't know the legal ramifications of if a place says no, we don't have to provide you
toilet paper. I don't know. How much of that is actually a right versus how much of it is just. We have gotten so used to having toilet paper that it's just the norm to have it everyere. But no matter what, you're wiping with something and that's good. And so as we like and end out the week, I want to introduce, something that I think will be an ongoing thing that will come up. and that is I'm going to try to share a, perhaps a story, bathroom related story that I have heard or undergone
at some point in my life. And so this, one comes to us and I'm trying to keep it, toilet paper related, but this one comes to us from I don't remember. I think it was when I was in college and we were talking about pranks. And I grew up in Montana but went to college in Oregon. And so we were talking about like teeping and that type thing. And one of the folks who had grown up in Oregon was like, oh yeah, we don't tep here because when you teepee like it rains and that stuff gets nasty
and it gets stuck everywhere. And I remember, just thinking about that and just thinking about that is just a prank within a prank. And so I've often wanted and never have, but I remember one day, going to the dining hall and just seeing this toilet paper in this tree, before the rain had come. And it was almost this glorious looking thing because there's this like toilet paper almost seemingly to like decorate this tree. And then later that afternoon it rained and I got to see
firsthan exactly what this guy was talking about. It looked terrible and there was like toilet paper all over in the grass and stuck to the tree. And then when it dried it got hard and it was weird. and so it makes you wonder what the stuff's made out of. But maybe that's another day on Privy as we close. it's, it's one of those things where it's been super fun to release the podcast and I'm excited to get more into bathroom stuff.
But as always, like, I would encourage you, if you like the show, please, please, please, please leave a review. that is one of the easiest ways that other people are able to find the show. and then also sharing either by word of mouth or online is a great way for others to, learn more about the very important information that we talk about regarding toilets. and so, again it's Privycast on Instagram and twitter, and privycastmail.com do.
if you have any questions or would like to, like, put out a topic or offer a correction, and then there's nothing else to say, but don't forget to flush.