>> Hunter Hoover: Uh, welcome back to Privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded this week. I'm a little bit undercover. I'm definitely not in home record studio to end our privy Christmas celebrations. Uh, my intention and my goal is to, after three or four years of failing to do so, bring you Hunter's top 10
winter festive treats. Now, the problem with this is in years past, I've tried to bring you these festive holiday, uh, offerings via my home record and my secondary recording studio at our church bathroom. And while the interruptions that we have endured have been a treasure, um, and shout out to Santa and Mrs. Claus for stopping by in years past, um, we gotta get to this list. The top 10 list of hoovy
snacks needs to happen. And so I am stowed away in a secret location, not my home, not secondary recording studio, but a secret location unknown to any Kris Kringle or Mrs. Kringle, uh, unknown to any reindeer, totally off the grid and removed from anywhere where one might be able to detect me. And of course you might hear the echo as a result. There's a bit of an echo this week. And, uh, that is for anonymity. We've gotta keep things quiet, otherwise we're not gonna get through this list.
And so I am in recording studio, recording studio away from recording studio. Top secret. Uh, and to bring you the hoovies'holiday treat list. And in years past, I've spoken and on this list, and they're in no particular order, you guys understand it. Um, and in no particular order, um, on the list is divinity. And if you don't know, divinity is like little clumpy marshmallow looking guys. And they're just sugar and they're delicious and they're great. And it's a key to any holiday, uh,
hualy whaty. And just get divinity in your life. It's very good. So second on the list, uh, of holiday goodies is definitely going to be the salted nut roll. The salted nut roll. And I'm not talking about the weird kind of turd shaped nut log that you find in most grocery stores. While those are delicious, I'm talking about there's this homemade nut roll.
You know, I think one goal I have is in this list, in compiling this list of delicious treats and getting it out to you, is that you understand the importance not only of the word nut rol, um, but in its significance in our lives. It's a delicious delight, uh, to be enjoyed by all. It's very good, very friendly, estimated in that it's so Simple. But it's got that soft bottom. Soft bottoms are where it's at. Next on our list, and it's one that we visited before. And I understand that there's
a bit of controversy around. Around this hoovie holiday treat. Um, is the presence of fudge on the Christmas like festive treats platter the holiday. Hello? >> Speaker B: Hello. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, u. Uh, how. How did you. Who. Who are. Who are you? >> Speaker B: Dingle. >> Hunter Hoover: Dingle? >> Speaker B: Yeah. I came from North Pole. >> Hunter Hoover: How did you. I'm stowed
away. I, uh, have been trying to get my hoovies'holiday treat sample list out for four years, and I have hidden myself in this bathroom. So I, uh, don't understand How. How did you know I was here? >> Speaker B: I'm a very big fan of your podcast. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. >> Speaker B: It's one of my favorite things to listen while I'm working, actually. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. So I don't wan. Toa assume so. Dingle, you're an elf, Correct. Okay. Uh, I mean that in the
nicest way possible. Um, are you, like, a traditional. What type of elf got. Are we getting into here? Are we, like Keebler cookie tree elf or like, what sort of elf are you? >> Speaker B: Unfortunately, no. I'm actually the lowest of the lows of the elves, in all honesty. U. Um, I'm the guy that works. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, Dingle. >> Speaker B: With Santa. >> Hunter Hoover: You work with Santa?
>> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: That's gotta be, like, physically. That's gotta be, like, the best gig ever, though, working with Santa. S. He's like the big man. No, it's the big show. >> Speaker B: He definitely is big. >> Hunter Hoover: He's big. Well, yeah, he's gotta be. He's. I mean, he's Santa. That's. It's not a good gig. >> Speaker B: It is the worst gig I've ever had.
And I know as an elf, we once made cookies in a treehouse, and the treehouse said caught onto fire. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. So I never really understood that. It always seemed like a bad idea. >> Speaker B: That's what I was saying. But no, it just seems. >> Hunter Hoover: It just seems like a bad place to stick at an oven is inside of a tree. >> Speaker B: You would think so. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Uh, but Santa didn't.
>> Hunter Hoover: Santa. Oh, Santa put. Santa is in chart. Oh. >> Speaker B: Santa calls all the shots. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so he's like, in charge of all elves? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so are you like a. Are you like a toy elf or you like a. Are you. Do you work with the reindeer? >> Speaker B: Um, um, I do a little bit of time with reindeer, but I mostly actually help Santa with his, um, toy making. We'll say the health needs.
>> Hunter Hoover: Health needs? >> Speaker B: Yeah. U. Um, you know, he's a big guy. He can't really reach his back. So, uh, it's. >> Hunter Hoover: Wait a minute. >> Speaker B: A lot of the time it's like sponge bath type to space. >> Hunter Hoover: Wait, wait, so you're m. Uh, okay, so last year, Mrs. Claus came on the show. She aired grievances against Santa for a lot of things, but she did mention that there were elves that helped him bathe.
>> Speaker B: That is my job. >> Hunter Hoover: That's your job? >> Speaker B: Yes. The lowest of the low. >> Hunter Hoover: What. How do you get. There's other elves at the North Pole? How you. How do you get into Santa? Scrub duty. >> Speaker B: Well, speaking about the treehouse that caught on the fire, I may or may not have been the one to preheat the oven a little too hot that day.
>> Hunter Hoover: O. >> Speaker B: And this is more of a punishment than anything. >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. Oh, do you get paid? >> Speaker B: Uh, about 50. 50 cents less than everybody else. >> Hunter Hoover: Just out a spite. >> Speaker B: We only make a dollar 25 cents an hour. >> Hunter Hoover: Dollar 20. Is that like. Is that like North Pole dollar? Is that like. Is that like bitcoin? What does Santa use? Does he like. I don't know,
Is he. Is he USD? >> Speaker B: He is not USD. He's actually a peso. Okay, Peso. >> Hunter Hoover: There you go. Mexican currency it125 peso. That's, um. So. But you're on one set. Uh, are you at like 75 cents then? >> Speaker B: Is that like that? Correct. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Uh, that seems like not enough to be. Do you just run his bath? Like, just get the bath ready and. >> Speaker B: I would love to say yes.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. So why can't you say yes? Do you do more than running Santa's bath? >> Speaker B: Um, I, ah, have been known to do the occasional feet soaking. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: And clipping the toenails. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh. >> Speaker B: Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. It's not. I don't recommend it. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Do you have like, does anybody. Can you have. Is there other elves that like, take turns or is this like.
>> Speaker B: I've got one other person, but he's kind of, you know, Santa's got big legs, so he's kind of there as like the stool or. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Yeah. Kind of just resting for Santa to put his legs up there. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, that sounds, um, displeasing. Yeah. And it also sounds like a bad look for Santa. Like, the more I learn about Santa, the more devious he seems he is. >> Speaker B: I mean. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
>> Speaker B: What other guy? Or, uh, I guess who else in the world knows when, like, you're awake at all times. >> Hunter Hoover: That's true. >> Speaker B: And. Or sleeping. >> Hunter Hoover: That's true. Does he hold that against you? Guys, Is that like part of his blackmail is like, does he blackmail the elves? >> Speaker B: I haven't been black. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. But, uh, uh, so the bath time. Dingle. Do you. Don t. You don't
scrub Santa? Do you like. Do you bathe Santa? >> Speaker B: Yes. So actually. >> Hunter Hoover: God. >> Speaker B: Um. One of our favorite things to do in the North Poles actually watch of Grey's Anatomy. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. So, um, Wild was Okay. >> Speaker B: I know we're very big on health and doctors. Andado, I guess up there. >> Hunter Hoover: That's right. Yeah. >> Speaker B: Yeah.
>> Hunter Hoover: Well, it depends on where you're at. I mean, right. >> Speaker B: Currently it's up there for us, but. >> Hunter Hoover: Right. >> Speaker B: Yeah, it depends where you're at. But yeah. No, um. >> Hunter Hoover: Grey's Anatomy. >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's crazy. So, uh, it's more of a sponge bath. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: So at least I don't have to try to get him into the tub or anything.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, he's like. He's doing like sink bath type stuff. Yeah, that's good. >> Speaker B: Yeah, good. One bowl for the dirty water that we're getting in. One bowl that has a bunch of clean water. >> Hunter Hoover: Would it be better if he was in the bath? So you didn't have to see as much, though? Like, this is where I'm stuck on. I've thought too much about Santa in the bath at this point.
>> Speaker B: I don't know if me and the other elves can make a bathtub big enough. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. He's so. Is he bigger than people think? >> Speaker B: He's pushing almost £500. >> Hunter Hoover: 500? Yes. That's a big boy. >> Speaker B: Yeah. We're trying to put him on a diet. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, well, but he's like only. He's like cookies only. Right. >> Speaker B: Cookies only. And that's the thing. Like,
his blood pressure is high. My blood pressure is like through the roof. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: I can't. >> Hunter Hoover: Just dealing with Santa. >> Speaker B: Just dealing with Santa eating a bunch of sugar. Yeah, I'm very bloated. I'm getting there too. >> Hunter Hoover: It'll do a guy in. Do you. Um. So Mrs. Claus said that sometimes Santa invites the reindeer in to bath time with him. Are you guys also required to help scrub the
reindeer with Santa? Why does Santa do that? I have so many questions. >> Speaker B: Um, I'm not sure why Santa would do that, but yes, that is a thing we do do. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Uh, it's not very often, but hu. It's probably like a once a month thingay. They're outside in the snow a lot, which, you know, it's a reindeer, so I don't. I kind of view them as. Yeah, they're outside a husky of the deer world, I guess you want to.
>> Hunter Hoover: Say, hey, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. >> Speaker B: And, uh, so we do have to get them cleaned off a bit, but it's. Yeah, they're never oily. It's kind of weird. >> Hunter Hoover: It doesn't seem like any of this should be a thing that you're doing. >> Speaker B: No. And wholeheartedly, I believe that we should have a North Poless. Union North. >> Hunter Hoover: So are you guys, like, uh.
Is that part of why you're here is to, like, begin the process of unionizing? >> Speaker B: I mean, partially. >> Hunter Hoover: Partially. Okay. >> Speaker B: Um, but the biggest thing is my ears rang for fudge. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. You know, I have to admit, I don't have. I mean, there was probably fudge made in this bathroom at some point today, but, like, I have none. >> Speaker B: I think that's a different kind of fudge.
>> Hunter Hoover: Does Santa. Does Santa make you guys interface with any of his fudge? >> Speaker B: No, I don't have to do that. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. You don't have butt wiping? >> Speaker B: No. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, that's good. Is there an elf who wipes the butts, or is he, like. >> Speaker B: We don't necessarily wipe his. But it's. We kind of power wash it. Like a standing bidet almost. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Is it like a bigger bidet?
How much girth does Santa got on his butt? I don't. >> Speaker B: I would say take a. Take. Take a medicine ball or, like, even better, two yoga balls. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, wow. Yeah. >> Speaker B: Yeah. It's kind of a big butt.
>> Hunter Hoover: You know, I'm wondering. There's these videos that sometimes parents show their kids, and it's essentially two balloons that they have taped together, and then they spread Nutella in between the balloons, and then they teach their child how to wipe their butt, and they practice wiping the balloons to get the Nutella off. Could this maybe be a thing that you guys try
with Santa? Um, I'm just trying to think of the guy that's having you help with bath time and sometimes, like, pressure washing the be. I worry, like, even though I think y'all's unionizing might be in your best interest, I worry that Santa's going to react strongly to it. >> Speaker B: If, uh, we were able to get Santa to wipe on his own accord, that would have to involve a loss of 200 pounds. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay. So we're. >> Speaker B: He can't really.
>> Hunter Hoover: Jez. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Have you ever seen him try? Like, I'm wondering if maybe Santa is just not trying and he's just, like, likes that you guys do it. >> Speaker B: Have you ever tried to scratch the midle middle of your Back up top. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah. >> Speaker B: It's not very successful, is it? >> Hunter Hoover: Not usually. >> Speaker B: That's kind of what it looks like.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, dingle. Do you guys watch like, as he. Do you ever. Is it one of those things where it's like. I think I just asked you if you watched Santa poop. That's not what I mean. Um, is it one of those things where he begins the. And it's like, nope, you gotta try and kind of like, you know, little kids. You want him to try something before you just do it for him. Is it kind of like that where it's like every time Santa does a brown, he's got at least attempt it?
>> Speaker B: Correct. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, so you guys watch this disaster happen for you? >> Speaker B: Yes. Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so there's not. Okay, so this is not like a. All right, Santa, that's enough. You can do it. He's truly. He's truly in trouble. >> Speaker B: Yeah, we actually, like, we sit there and we make sure Santa's not lying to
us. Oh, and he's fully not capable of being able to wipe his butt. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Has he ever. Um, so why doesn't Mrs. Claus's help with any of this? Have you guys ever talked to her about, like, why she's not playing a role in her husband's health care and wellness? >> Speaker B: Uh, during my time in the North Pole, I've probably seen her once. >> Hunter Hoover: Really? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Where do you think she's at?
>> Speaker B: Hopefully making the chocolate milk and the hot chocolate. Yeah, I know that. Mrs. Claus'hot chocolate and chocolate milk and. >> Hunter Hoover: Is it a game changer. >> Speaker B: It's the best thing I've ever had. But I can't go ask Carlos the elf. >> Hunter Hoover: Yesus. >> Speaker B: Carlos usually always burns the milk. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Yeah.
>> Hunter Hoover: Is Carlos like, help. He helps in the kitchen or is he. >> Speaker B: He tries. >> Hunter Hoover: He tries. Does he. Does he ever, like. Does Carlos the elf ever mix like, hot cocoa and coffee into a concoction of any given name? >> Speaker B: Yeah. And actually, uh, depending on where you're from in the North Pole. Cause there's a little different locations. Um, some places call it a ghetto mocha G. Okay. Or a poor man's coffee.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, o. Does he do that? >> Speaker B: Carlos will. >> Hunter Hoover: Does he give it to Santa? >> Speaker B: Yeah. And that honestly might be why we do so much defecation. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, see. Cause my understanding, based on Mrs. Clau's report, is that Santa's. His poo is mostly like liquid, which. >> Speaker B: Is troubling that the two stories add up. Then, you knowh. >> Hunter Hoover: Shoot.
>> Speaker B: He's just drinking a lot of caffeine inst. Instead of milk. Unless he's lactose. >> Hunter Hoover: That could be. I've never. I mean, these are all questions that, uh. So when I talked to Santa years ago, he was more frustrated. So maybe this is a confession to you, Dingle, and your elf partners is in 22:23. Not. It's not important. And
Santa'totally forgiven me. It's fine. I told the kids of the world that they need to catch Santa, and the way to do it is to give him X. So, um, Santa was mad, but it's water under the bridge, and I'm pretty sure Everybody involved. Santa, Mrs. Claus, and the elves have totally moved on. Um, but do you think, like, maybe. Was there a particularly. Do you remember a particularly bad year? Is it, like, it probably wasn't like, two or three years ago? >> Speaker B: No, just. Let's
see. I would say the worst thing that I've ever seen was probably three, four years ago. And, um, it. Have you ever been to Minota Falls? >> Hunter Hoover: You know, oddly enough, Dingle, I have, uh. I have been there. Is. Why do you ask? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Santa had his own little Multnoma Falls. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
>> Speaker B: It did not sound pleasant. Was not pleasant. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, but y'all were, like. You didn't have to deal with it. >> Speaker B: Not there? No. I was in the treehouse at that time. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so you hadn't made it to the North Pole. Um, so your main concern is, like, workplace conditions. >> Speaker B: Correct. >> Hunter Hoover: At the North Pole. Okay. Do they got HR up there? I don't know if they got hr.
>> Speaker B: We have one person. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Name's Becky. >> Hunter Hoover: Becky? >> Speaker B: Yeah. She doesn't do much. >> Hunter Hoover: I'assumed you've taken this concern to Becky. >> Speaker B: Becky's scary. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Becky. >> Speaker B: I wouldn't. I wouldn't talk to Becky. Even with a megaphone, she's scary.
>> Hunter Hoover: Well, but. But it seems like Becky's the one that could solve the Santa diarrhea bath time problem. For you, maybe. >> Speaker B: Unfortunately, she's the one who rides our schedules. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh. Oh, do you think Becky's putting you on bathroom duty more often? >> Speaker B: Probably. And that's probably cause I complained about her candy cane cookies not too long ago. >> Hunter Hoover: Becky. So Becky's kind of petty.
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. So, Dingle, it sounds like a. It's kind of a rough spot. Cause, like, obviously Carlos isn't gonna be helping Santa at bath time. He wants to be a chef. I don't know. >> Speaker B: What's Carlos'deal Yeah, he's just trying to work in the kitchen. Yeah, I don't know how successful that's going. >> Hunter Hoover: Are you not allowed to Work in the kitchen. Cause of the treehouse thing. >> Speaker B: Correct.
>> Hunter Hoover: Got it. >> Speaker B: I wanted to be a baker. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Do you still want to be a baker? >> Speaker B: Not after the treehouse incident. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so you got some trauma. Um, so main grievance scrubbing Santa. Does he. It's not. But, like, how dirty can he get? Like, I mean, it's Santa. He's like, magic. Doesn't like the filth. Just magic itself. >> Speaker B: Unfortunately, no. >> Hunter Hoover: What.
>> Speaker B: He is, um. Let's just say we're frequent flyers of, uh, switching out his bedheets because. Oh, Lord, he's a big guy. He sweats a lot in sleep. >> Hunter Hoover: You know, o. This is gonna be a weird question that. I don't know why you would know the answer to this, but when Santa sweats, is it similar to, like, when. Like, m. I don't know about elves, but, like, when humans sweat, it's kind of salty. Is. Is Santa's sweat different? Like, is he built different?
>> Speaker B: I will not confirm nor deny the fact that it might taste like sugar. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, no. Do the. Oh, my gosh. Do the reindeer lick Santa for, like, as a treat. >> Speaker B: It wasn't the reindeer. >> Hunter Hoover: Dingle. No, no. Is this. Dingle, dingle, dingle. It's gonna be hard for me to continue the grievance under the assumption that you or another elf. I'm notnna say it was. You may or may not have licked Santa.
We're gonna say his armpit or his arm. You know, he's a sweaty guy. I know. It couldn't have been the back. Does he have back hereir? >> Speaker B: Yes. And it feels like 80 grit sandpaper. Oh. So, yeah, it's pretty rough in coars and bad. >> Hunter Hoover: So you. But you've had to interface with that, correct? >> Speaker B: That's. That's my main job of washing Santa. I got the backside. >> Hunter Hoover: Like, the whole backside or, like.
>> Speaker B: No, just his back. U. Um, okay, again, we power wash. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, that's right. That's right. >> Speaker B: And I don't really have to get the legs. >> Hunter Hoover: That's good. >> Speaker B: You know, he's kind of a big guy. He doesn't move whole lot. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. How does he do the chimney thing? Like'm, um. Is it just Christmas magic? Is that just how he does it? Like, how does he do the chimney thing with.
>> Speaker B: So Santa actually did tell me that when he goes down a chimney, he's able to use his magic, and he expands it out to his body size. Okay, now what you guys are thinking is what happens when there is no chimney and. Or fireplace. >> Hunter Hoover: Right? Right. >> Speaker B: Whatever misconception You've heard. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: He does not go in through your window like a burglar.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. I was gonna say, is it classic home invasion at that point or. >> Speaker B: No. So, actually, again, this is where his magic comes in. He'll put a fireplace in chimney. >> Hunter Hoover: He creates one. >> Speaker B: Yes. Just for the time being. So he can, um, slide down because he always lands on the roof. >> Hunter Hoover: Is Santa. Does Santa got a thing for sliding down shoots? Like, is that. I, uh, mean, is he.
>> Speaker B: I honestly believe before he wanted it be. Before he became Santa, I think he actually wanted to be a fireman. >> Hunter Hoover: Fireman, yeah. What a strange man. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: You know, I will note that when I talked to Santa, he completely left out the fact that he has the elves aid him to this degree. >> Speaker B: Why would you tell somebody that you can't help your own self?
>> Hunter Hoover: I guess. I guess. Yeah. It's a bad look. And it makes sense that Mrs. Claus doesn't want any part it. Because, you know, I mean, I think it's hard to stare down the thing you've created. You know what I mean? >> Speaker B: Before there were elves, she had to do it. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: And guess who had to clean the reindeer. >> Hunter Hoover: Was it Mrs. Claus? >> Speaker B: It was M. Mrs. Claus.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so you guys are. So did you get hired? Or is it like a. I dare to say, is it forced labor? >> Speaker B: Not forced labor. It was kind of like an adoption agency. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, that's also interesting. Um, I don't know. I almost wonder if forced labor is better than that even. That's kind of dark. You guys were adopted? Are you his kids? >> Speaker B: Adoptive kids.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: I've been with Santa for about one, uh, hundred fifty years. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, my gosh. And, uh, so, Santa. Uh, yeah, I do think you need to. I do think we need to get some sort of unionization. HR something in place. Cause. >> Speaker B: Will you help me with that? >> Hunter Hoover: Well, I. See I don't. Around here. I'mnna be honest. And from where I'm from. How do
I put this? Dingle. I struggle sometimes to see how effective things are. Um, and a lot of times when I go to hr, I don't see anything happen. And that's why I was curious. And it sounds like Becky's not gonna help. Um, I'm trying to think of, like, who could keep Santa in line. Cause Mrs. Claus doesn't seem willing to. She probably could, but it sounds like she doesn't have to do it. Y'all are on it. And she's like, I'm not breaking what's not fixed here. Um, Jack Frost.
>> Speaker B: You know, my. That was. That Was my go to, man. >> Hunter Hoover: Really? >> Speaker B: Yep. >> Hunter Hoover: Does he help you guys out at all? Or is it like, Jack Frost is. >> Speaker B: No longer allowed in the North Pole? >> Hunter Hoover: Did Santa banish him, or is it. >> Speaker B: Yeah, and there's a story behind that. >> Hunter Hoover: Um. >> Speaker B: Um. Okay, what was it?
Jack Frost went up to the North Pole, and I believe he tricked Santa. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yes. >> Speaker B: And then created fake Santa. >> Hunter Hoover: Yes. Have we ever thought about maybe. Hmm. M. This is a little unconventional. And I don't know, this might take, like, elf power that we maybe haven't tapped into
since, like, the Treehouse days. But, like, have we ever thought about hog tying Santa and just, like, having Jack Frost make a fake Santa and just see if Ms. Claus doesn't notice? Like, do it all over again. Cause. Because fake Santa doesn't poop. >> Speaker B: So, like, I'm not against the idea. >> Hunter Hoover: So, Jack Frost, if you're listening, the elves might. Might be behind you on this. I'm not gonna say yes, because we love you,
Santa. Wink. Not wink, but, like, it might be worth a shot. And I don't know. I'm curious about his role. Um, but Mrs. Claus doesn't support your grievance. She's. See, this is why I'd be problematic again. >> Speaker B: I've only seen her about once. >> Hunter Hoover: Really? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: That's baffling because, uh, she was here last year. She interrupted our show last year, and, and, man, she was just as upset with
her husband as you are with him. Maybe not just as upset. Y'all's grievance seems a little more real, maybe. >> Speaker B: The thing is, is, like, she might see all of the other elves, but, uh, she doesn't really see the house elves. >> Hunter Hoover: She doesn't see. Do you, um, um, Dingle. Do you have clothes? I, I, I One set once. Yeah. >> Speaker B: See, this is two pairs of underwear. >> Hunter Hoover: Two pairs of underwearay.
>> Speaker B: So what happens is, Monday, wear them correctly. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Tuesday, inside out. Wednesday, new pair. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Thursday, inside out. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: Friday, we go commando because it's wash day and because all of the house elves wash there. Uh, closed together. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: You might be getting an extra large size.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, uh, so it's not like you don't own your clothes. It's like. No. Okay. >> Speaker B: It's more of a rent to hire type deal. >> Hunter Hoover: Does. Why don't y'all have, uh, more clothes? Is it just. >> Speaker B: Again, house elves only get paid $0.75, and that's pesos. >> Hunter Hoover: Sh. And Santa's. He seems as if he has y'all making magical toys. What would happen if y'all created, like, can you guys, magic clothes.
What if you stole Santa suit? I know it's too big, but you could, like, chop it up and maybe. >> Speaker B: You're giving me an idea. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: We will shove five LVEs in there. >> Hunter Hoover: You guys could, like. You could, like, uh, Space Jam, uh, the Alien Tune Squad, like, stack yourselves. >> Speaker B: Up in Santy'suit or, like. >> Hunter Hoover: Or like, you don't even need Jack Frost.
>> Speaker B: One of my favorite movies is the Little Rascals. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. And so, like, Grey's Anatomy and A Little Rascal. >> Speaker B: Yeah. It's actually. We live our best lifeah most of. >> Hunter Hoover: The time, I guess so. >> Speaker B: U. But there was that scene where three boys climbed on each other's shoulders to go get a bank loan. We can do that with Santa with his outfit. >> Hunter Hoover: That's not a bad idea.
Think. Um, do you think that could. What are the odds? I'm trying to figure out, like, what are the odds that y'all end up in a precarious situation with a reindeer? Because I don't know. I have never had a confirm or deny, but I think Santa's up to some nefarious things with. I think it's blitzing. Um, and so I'm wondering if Blitzen's gonna, like, see y'all in the Santa suit stacked up five atop each other and get the wrong idea. >> Speaker B: Blitzens's the snitch.
>> Hunter Hoover: Blitzen'snitch M. What is he snitched on? Is he, like. Do you think he knows you're here? >> Speaker B: No. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: No, I took Rudolph, actually. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, Rudolph. Do you like Rudolph? >> Speaker B: Yeah. The only thing I don't like is the nose. >> Hunter Hoover: The nose. Does it actually glow like in the documentary?
>> Speaker B: Yes, but the issue with Rudolph's nose glowing, it's kind of a Pinocchio type deal. >> Hunter Hoover: O. Is it triggered by lying, or is it triggered by something else? >> Speaker B: I think it's triggered by something else. But that's a conversation for a later day. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. With probably Rudolph's consent. He might not like that. >> Speaker B: Correct. >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. Um. Wow. So,
Dingle, you're here. I wish I could do more for your cause. Um, is there a reason why the other elves have kind of, like, also. I mean, that they're not helping you out, that they kind of. I mean, it's dingle duty. Again. Like, is there a reason that you get tossed to this so often? >> Speaker B: Um, in all honesty, I believe it's because of what my last name is. I am Dingleberry. >> Hunter Hoover: You're less. What? Okay, so Dingleberry.
>> Speaker B: Yes, it does. It sounds like something that happens while in the bathroom. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. That's tough. >> Speaker B: You know, I think they're bullying me because of my name. >> Hunter Hoover: So this is like workplace harassment. >> Speaker B: Yes. And that's another reason why I believe we should try to unionize.
>> Hunter Hoover: Well, and it also does. I mean, uh, it's hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea that like Santa back scrubbing is anywhere in the elf like employee agreement. I mean, it just simply. I struggle to believe that. >> Speaker B: I've actually have never seen the employee handbook. >> Hunter Hoover: Really? Yeah. That's a good tactic that a lot of employers do. They hire you and then never show you the.
>> Speaker B: And then another thing too actually is I've never seen my contract that's fascting. >> Hunter Hoover: I mean, it starts to make one wonder if you even have one. I mean, working under without a contract is. It happens. Um, but man, it can be troubling. People get really upset when it happens. >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I think I've heard a little bit of something about that recently. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. You know, it's just.
Yeah. Do you. Do y all have like the Internet in the North Pole or is it like magic Internet? U. Um, I guess that's still Internet. >> Speaker B: We do have Internet, but we don't have to worry about a satellite dish or anything. >> Hunter Hoover: Sweet. >> Speaker B: Yeah. I don't quite know how we do it. I'm actually pretty positive that all of just power and electricity might just come from the North Pole.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Does, um, does Elon Musk have any like, influence over the North Pole yet? Has he met Santa? Has Santa met Elon Musk yet? Do you know. I mean, dingle. >> Speaker B: Again, I will not confirm nor deny, but I do know that he's on the. There might be some plans for a sleigh upgrade. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: So it sounds like. I mean, sounds like he is like. Yeah, do elves.
Sorry, I have so many questions. And I have some bathroom questions to ask you. Dingle. But kind of last, because is there an elf like, uh, who's like. Can you think of maybe Is there an elf whose name that you could like, swap in? I mean, if everybody's like, well, Dingleberry needs to be the one that's like pressure washhing Santa's b. There's gotta be somebody that's got. I mean, obviously Carlos is on hot cocoa duty and Becky's got the microphone, but like. Or
megaphone, but who. There's gotta be someone that could swap you in. >> Speaker B: Maybe Phil. >> Hunter Hoover: Phil. >> Speaker B: Yeah, McCracken Phil. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, see? And he sounds Irish, so he probably. I'm not gonna Say it. But he'd probably be good at it. You know what I'm saying? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: 100% yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, man, Phil McRaven, that's.
He. Do you think maybe, like, you could talk the other elves into making Phil take your spot? >> Speaker B: I can try. >> Hunter Hoover: That might be your path forward. Cause'just I'm worried that that sounds like HR is worthless. Sorry, Becky. You're great. Um, and it also kind of sounds like, you know, I feel like you turn to this show to try to help you, and I mean, unionize. But it also sounds like the elves are kind of throwing you to the
wolves here. And so I'm wondering how much they're gonna be into it. You know, it's a classic. Our lives are good. I don't. You know, why would I do anything? I worry for that. >> Speaker B: It's. It's tough out here. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: But I believe we might be able to get Phil. >> Hunter Hoover: Phil? Yeah, dude. Phil McCracken. It might be the only path forward. Have you ever thought of running away from the North Pole? Like, I mean, you can
leave. Um, I mean, you're here, you've left, but, like, do you have to return? >> Speaker B: I could probably go a couple days without them realizing I'm gone. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so this is like, this is like a journey plead for kind of desperation, or is it like last ditch effort. >> Speaker B: Without the terrific things that have happened in previous, uh, people's lives?
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: I would say we're close to the Charlie Banson cult. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Wow. That's. >> Speaker B: Without the bad thing. >> Hunter Hoover: That's striking. Yeah. Without the bad parts. >> Speaker B: Yeah, without the bad part. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Um, yeah, you know, so think. I think what I'll say is, Becky, if you're listening to this, you. You put your megaphone down and, like,
do something. Um, I don't think Mrs. Claus listens. She mostly seemed annoyed with the idea of this entire thing. Um, but Mrs. Claus, if for some reason you hear this, number one, I want you to sort out the Rudolph thing. I've got some questions about Rudolph's, uh, nose. Um, but also, I think maybe you need to start playing a role in Santa's wiping and washing or pressure washing. I guess it's all washing. Um, I guess
reduces friction. Um, and if y'all decide to unionize, I mean, I guess hit me up. I, uh, just, you know, I really wanna also stay off the naughty list. That's something that I also, um, keen on. >> Speaker B: So that's actually a. >> Hunter Hoover: Not in Sana's control who controls the naughty list. It's actually Mrs. Claus that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. >> Speaker B: She's like everybody's mother. She knows more than.
>> Hunter Hoover: Has Santa ever been on the naughty list? >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Is he on the naughty list? >> Speaker B: Like, not at this time being. But it is. I've probably have seen him over there about three or four times. >> Hunter Hoover: Really? >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: And, uh, was one, like, three to four years ago when he had a lot of diarrhea? >> Speaker B: Yes.
But I think. I think most of the time, Mrs. Claus will put Santa on the naughty list just to just like. Just to be petty. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Santa's not listening. Well, guess what? >> Hunter Hoover: On the naughty list, it's the classic sleeping on the couch for Santa. Yes. Yes. >> Speaker B: I think that's. I think it's just. I mean, a calm situation type deal. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. I like the idea of Mrs. Claus being in charge of
the naughty list a little more. Um. >> Speaker B: I don't know why she's a little bit more lenient. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Well, it sounds like Santa can't lean at all. >> Speaker B: No. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: If he tries, he. I'm kind swinging like a Raing ball. >> Hunter Hoover: Has Santa ever fallen over and, like, you guys have to help him up? Is there, like, a special piece of equipment that y'all use to move Santa when he falls down?
>> Speaker B: I will tell you that one time, Santa was trying to walk down the stairs. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, I see you said the word trying. >> Speaker B: Well, he took a stumble and he fell. And in that process, he kind of looked like a, um, landed fish when you're fishing. And he. It was more of a flopping motion. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Uh. >> Speaker B: Um. >> Hunter Hoover: Wow. See? >> Speaker B: Yeah, that one was hysterical.
We have it on Elf tube. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, let's go. Yeah. Do you think us humans down here can get elf tube? Like, is that possible that we could get that hookup? >> Speaker B: It is a North Pole subscription only. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Dang it. Regional locked. Um. Shoot. Well, little kids, if you're listening, I don't know why you would be, but if you're a little kid listening to this,
Santa's okay. Like, he does some bad stuff, but we're gonna get it sorted. You don't have to be mad at Santa. Or if you are, um, and I might just be so bold to say, and I can't stress, this. Don't do the Xaxx thing again. Like, you're gonna think about doing it. Don't do it. Like, I cannot stress. Do not Xaxx Santa this time use Mirrax. Oh. Oh. Spin it into that milk. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. And mirroa milk. He gonna. He's gonna. Y'all
should maybe Hook Santa up with some depends this year. Cause I have a feeling that sleigh is gonna need a recoat if we do the Miralax sitch. >> Speaker B: Monot my fals. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, dingle, I have some questions since you're here. I hope it's okay. And I know I didn't really help you a lot. Um, yeah, that seems to be the trend whenever North Pole friends visit me. Um, but I wanna know, what type of toilet paper
does Santa provide you guys with up there at the North Pole? Is it. It'sably. Like, it's probably pretty good. I mean. >> Speaker B: Have you ever used school toilet paper? >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. Huh? Uh, yes, it's. Yeah. >> Speaker B: Yeah. We. I don't even know if you can call it one ply. >> Hunter Hoover: Santa's given you bad paper. >> Speaker B: It's like half ply.
>> Hunter Hoover: Is that why he pressure or has you guys pressure was him isuse he doesn't want to use it? >> Speaker B: That could probably be the possibility. >> Hunter Hoover: You know, I'm convinced that employers who stalk any space, but specifically spaces where their employees are gon toa have to wipe their butt with bad toilet paper. I think that that's a hostile work environment. Um, I would add that to your list of grievances immediately.
>> Speaker B: Very well noted. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, at the North Pole, does the toilet paper. Is it like an over an under? Does. I mean, Santa's not messing, but actually. >> Speaker B: We don't have any toilet paper rolls. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay. >> Speaker B: And we do have separate bathrooms. The boy elves and the girl elves. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: But we don't actually have any stalls.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: They're more like counters. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: And so instead of the toilet paper roll. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: We actually put them in, like, the napkin boxes. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: That you'll see at, like, burger King or McDonald'oh. >> Hunter Hoover: That's interesting. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Is the toilet up on that counter?
>> Speaker B: No, the toilet's down low. But, like, if you look to the left or to the right, you'll see a bunch of heads but no bodies. >> Hunter Hoover: O. Because every, uh. >> Speaker B: If people are in the bathroom. >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. Oh, man. Yeah. >> Speaker B: So you do have a little bit. >> Hunter Hoover: Of privacy, but not enough. Not as much as you'd want. >> Speaker B: Not from the front.
>> Hunter Hoover: That's the worst spot to not have. >> Speaker B: Privacy when you're going to the very vulnerable. >> Hunter Hoover: Has Santa ever come in on y'all when you're in the bathroom? >> Speaker B: No, he has his own. >> Hunter Hoover: Right. But like. Hm. Hmm. Has Has Rudolph ever been in that bathroom? >> Speaker B: Rudolph has. >> Hunter Hoover: See, I'm not so sure about Rudolph.
>> Speaker B: And it was weird because that was one of the moments when his nose. >> Hunter Hoover: Got right See, I. Dang it. Rudolph. Gosh. You know, I notice in the documentary Rudolph's nose when Absolute ape escape, when Clarice or whatever her brain was. And I think you might be onto something. I'm. Huh huh. Um, do do Dingle. Do you and the other elves, are you bar soap or liquid soap elves? >> Speaker B: Um, to sw. Each his own.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: I am a liquid soap guy. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: I get a three in one. Peppermint smelling, so. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay. Yeah. A little twisted. Peppermint or like. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Has Santa ever got. Man. I just. I don't know why, but in my brain. I want to ask you if Santa's ever got anything lodged in either fat rolls or maybe his crack. You know,
you sit down on a peppermint patty and it. It just gets fully yinked. And I. I just don't know. I guess you'd find it as you wash him. >> Speaker B: But the strangest thing I've been able to find. Um, unfortunately, I don't even know if Santsa's probably gonna get mad at me here. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. Um, I find that if you say that it wasn't this. Oh, he can't be mad. >> Speaker B: So. Okay. >> Hunter Hoover: It definitely wasn't this.
>> Speaker B: So one day when I was pressure washing. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Um, one of the, like, uh, a whiffleball baseball bat came out. >> Hunter Hoover: Whoa. >> Speaker B: Like, I don't know if it was vertical or horizontal, but it's just in therewhl. Out of his crack. >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. >> Speaker B: M. Mhm. >> Hunter Hoover: Hmm. Think he's, like, trying to scratch with it or like.
>> Speaker B: I have no idea. >> Hunter Hoover: Santa. >> Speaker B: He might have been trying to pop his back. >> Hunter Hoover: Ooh. Oh, I bet that would. Oh, probably would. >> Speaker B: Felt great. But he might have fallen asleep. I don't really know. But yeah, the yellow bat came out. >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. I bet that bat has seen
some things. Um. I feel like I know the answer to this based on the job that you're forced to do, but how do you feel about baths? >> Speaker B: I love them. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, you. Oh, big fan. As long as it's just you. It. >> Speaker B: Just me. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Cool. >> Hunter Hoover: Huh. Huh. U. >> Speaker B: Uh, we don't do very big. Like, we're not a hot tub kind of place.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Uh, does it melt the ice? >> Speaker B: It would. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Okay. >> Speaker B: But like, for us, we actually kind of just cut a hole into a lake. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: As if we were going ice fishing. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with. >> Speaker B: But like, we live in the cold, so the cold to us is the heat. >> Hunter Hoover: So you're like, into that?
>> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Who. Man, you know, there's Some humans that are like. They're like cold plunge people, and they're like, oh, it's gonna open up my pores and fire my endorphins. And then they, like, shrink their wean getting into this ice water, and it's like, what are we. What are we doing? >> Speaker B: That's only a myth. >> Hunter Hoover: It's a myth. >> Speaker B: Yeah. Well, for us at the North Pole, we. Because we're so.
>> Hunter Hoover: Got it. >> Speaker B: Immune to it. >> Hunter Hoover: So that's like unicorns to y'all. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Weird. Do you guys have unicorns in North Pole? >> Speaker B: I've never seen one. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, that's. I was like, this seems. I gotta ask. Um, um, besides scrubbing Santa, do you have any bathroom pet peeves? Does Carlos do anything that annoys you? >> Speaker B: Carlos is a talker.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh. Yeah. So, yeah, that'll. >> Speaker B: So again, if you look left or look right, you might see somebody. Uh, Carlos will not shut up. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Just. >> Speaker B: He gets me off track. Disc concentrated. >> Hunter Hoover: I m. Wonder if during imo. I know that obviously having conversation in the bathroom just doesn't make any sense. Um, yeah. >> Speaker B: No, Never. Never would make sense.
>> Hunter Hoover: But maybe the next time Carlos tries a conversation, you can give him some really bad hot cocoa recipes and see if maybe he gets a demerit and see if you can get, like, him bounced down to bathroom duty. >> Speaker B: That is a great idea. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. I like the fil move better, but I just. Yeah, I just don't know. I think Carlos has some untapped bathroom potential that he could live up to. And maybe Becky. Maybe Carlos. Becky Combo deal.
They could combo Santa and I take Becky's job. Hey, Becky. Uh, it's. It's like undercover boss. We could do like an undercover boss. And then instead of switching back, when Becky's done undercovering, she just stays. She just stays there and continues to wash Santa. >> Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's what we could try to do. >> Hunter Hoover: Interesting. Um, yeah, that, you know, could be onto something there. Um, Dingle. Do you ever eat out, like, fast food or fast
casual? U. >> Speaker B: Uh, yeah, we kind of m m. Sometimes we go to, uh, Burger Queen. >> Hunter Hoover: Burger Queen. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Does that. How does Burger Queen treat you? Is it. Does it. Do you in or is it like. It. Is it kind of just. It's. It's there. >> Speaker B: It's okay. Yeah, I like the burgers, but then their ice cream is pretty good too. >> Hunter Hoover: Huh?
>> Speaker B: Uh, and then I also do a lot of Delbell. >> Hunter Hoover: Delbell. Yeah. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, man. Yeah, Delbell. Is that like. That's got toa be a North Pole region, like Hotspot for, I'm assuming tacos, but I'm not. >> Speaker B: Yes, tacos and burritos. You are correct. Actually, we do enjoy the. The. I can't say authentic Mexican food, but we do like the American made of Mexican a lot.
>> Hunter Hoover: That's awesome. I mean, you know, I think it's. I think it's fascinating that. That these places are so far spread. Do you guys have one, like, in house? Like, do you actually have to leave the facility at the North Pole to get to it? Or is it, like, in, like, kind of like an airport where it's in the thing? >> Speaker B: We actually just have one restaurant within, like, our facility.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: And that's actually Wendy's Jr. Wendy's Jr. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Do they. Hmm. Does. Wow. Does Wendy's June. Is it, like, because your elves and it's smaller. Is that racist? Are you a race. I don't even know how to ask this question. >> Speaker B: We are a racist. No, it's not racist. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, cool. I've made it. I've saved myself again. Um, does Wendy's junior Mess yet?
>> Speaker B: Not me, but it does mess up a lot of the older elves. >> Hunter Hoover: Becky. >> Speaker B: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, we could foul Becky up, and then she has to be in the bathroom, and that's how you sneak in. >> Speaker B: I like that idea. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, Wendy. So we're hitting Becky with Wendy's Jr. Santa's getting mirror milk. We gotta get something going on for Rudolph.
I think Rudolph needs to try one of these, like, cold bath plunges that the elves are into. I think that might be what Rudolph needs in his life. >> Speaker B: I think Rudolph actually needs to go to camp. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, he's gotta go discover himself out at North Pole camp with the Nor Waalsl and the. >> Speaker B: Actually, it's kind of ironic. The camp's actually in the South Pole. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, really? >> Speaker B: Yeah.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. Is it, like. Is the South Pole evil, or is it, like. Is it just, like. Well, it's just down there. >> Speaker B: Um, I've never been there, but I have heard that the penguins down there are these. >> Hunter Hoover: They're pretty hostile. >> Speaker B: One of the scariest things. Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, maybe what you could do is you could figure out
how to get the penguins to team up with you. And, like, maybe you could get the penguins to do the Santa duty. >> Speaker B: And that would be a good idea. And then I could change my name from Dingle Bery to, like, Dingle Penguin. >> Hunter Hoover: Dingle Penguin. Maybe, you know, Dingleberry, I think. I think we. I think Dingle Penguin'something you should lean into. Uh, maybe when you go back to the North Pole after this.
And they're like, dingle, you're back. And you're like, yeah, but it's Dingle Penguin now. Uh, please call me Dingle Penguin. Um, I think that might be it. That might break that like, name association that, that they have for you. >> Speaker B: This could take my weekly paycheck, but I think after here I might be going running down to the a government agency and doing that. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Do you, um. Weekly paychecks that coming out to like 5, 6 bucks, 10, 15 bucks?
Is it too soon to like, does Santa tax the 75 cents that you get? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. So. >> Speaker B: So it's like my gross is 75 cents an hour. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: But really my net is like 60 cents an hour. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. Sant. Santa's, uh, what does Santa do with the North Pole income tax? >> Speaker B: Again, not gonna confirm nor deny, but we might be getting some upgrades on the sleigh.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, it's that sweet, sweet Elon Musk upgrades possibly alleged. Um, um. Dingle, do you ever take a shower in the dark? >> Speaker B: Yes. Uh, I'm a late showerr. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Yeah, so. And most of our lights on the North Pole are on a timer. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Speaker B: And, um, well, first'supposed to be in bed sleeping. They want to be sleeping. >> Hunter Hoover: What's your bedtime?
>> Speaker B: It's actually like 6. 6pm Correct. >> Hunter Hoover: So you're like out past your bedtime right now. Yeah. Who checks on that? It's not Becky, is it? >> Speaker B: No, not Becky. That's actually Kevin. Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: In my brain. Have you ever. Are you up in the North Polear? Are you familiar with, um, uh, Despicable Me? >> Speaker B: Yes, actually. >> Hunter Hoover: Is life kind of similar as to the
Minions? I just, I feel like. I mean, obviously you're not yellow and you're not one eyed. Well, I guess some of them have two eyes. >> Speaker B: But we are loyal. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Except when Santa's got you pressure washing his butthole, like that'll undo some loyalty fast. >> Speaker B: You would think so, but again, I've been here for 150 years. Oh, no, you, uh, loyalty lies in our blood, Dingle. And that's honestly probably why I've never left.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, you know, maybe. Maybe that's just. Maybe that's where you're meant to be. That feels wrong to say, but I don't know. Santa seems to enjoy it from what. >> Speaker B: You'Re saying, a little too much. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah. Does his nose ever turn red? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Hunter Hoover: Dang it. Santa. Um, Dingle, have you ever eaten an orange in the shower as if it was an apple? >> Speaker B: No. >> Hunter Hoover: No.
>> Speaker B: But I think I Did ask somebody. I've heard this before. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: And I'm pretty sure I asked somebody the last time I was, uh, taking a vacation from the North Pole. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Speaker B: If they've ever done that. And I told them to, like, hey, you give me your research. >> Hunter Hoover: Y tell me if it. >> Speaker B: It's, like, worth it.
>> Hunter Hoover: I mean, uh, I think it's worth it. I think it's worth. I think it's worth trying ones, you know? >> Speaker B: Yeahthing's worth. Doesn it t have to be an orange? Like, does cutie or Mana win? >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, think. I think any of those are fine. Yeah. I'd say go in peace with all of those. >> Speaker B: Um, but the hard thing for us, too, is since it's so cold in the North Pole, we don't really get that good vegetation.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Um, yeah, I bet oranges are expensive up there. That's crazy. Um, well, this is fun. Dingle, the lights have gone off. >> Speaker B: I'm scared. >> Hunter Hoover: Is there a light over there? Yeah. Oh, there we go. Speaking of lights going off in the North Pole, uh, here we are. We just in my secret location, we just had a light turn off. That was hooy, boogy. For a second, I thought it was gonna be dicey.
I'm not gonna lie to you. Um, I'm confident that I'm gonna have to call a friend when we try to leave this place, um, because I think they shut the lights off out there, and I'm wondering if they have set the alarm. Um, it's okay. I have an inside guy. We got this. It's gonna be fine. Um, Dingle, Dingle, have you ever performed a waffle stomp? >> Speaker B: Uh, oh, yes, I have. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, did you do it in Santa shower alle? >> Speaker B: Yes, I did.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, you. >> Speaker B: That's no, allegedly, it's like a power move. >> Hunter Hoover: Huh? Huh? >> Speaker B: It was the biggest thing I've ever done. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, that's brave. >> Speaker B: And I think I left a little bit on the drain. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. Think you think Mrs. K. Claus saw? >> Speaker B: I don't think this is clau saw it. I think Santa saw it.
>> Hunter Hoover: Is that part of this is. Is this like revenge? >> Speaker B: I don't know if he knows it was me. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, we could blame Phil. >> Speaker B: We could blame Phil. >> Hunter Hoover: Phil McCraken did it. Um, um, man. Yeah, that's not a bad ideam. Um, do I do wonder, do you ever there the bathroom? Like, do you take any snacks in the shower or bathroom when you go? Are you allowed to have food in the North Pole bathroom?
>> Speaker B: Um, yes, but, like, most of the times like, for us elves, we don't get the good cookies. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. Really? Do you guys get, like, the extra leavings? >> Speaker B: No, we get like, sugar cookies. >> Hunter Hoover: More times than not, it's like, almost. >> Speaker B: So if I go and take it into the shower, I'm afraid it's gonna, like, dis. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, yeah. Shoot.
>> Speaker B: Or break apartuse. It's just sugar and flour. >> Hunter Hoover: I just had a terrible, terrible thought. Are they using Santa's sweat to sweeten, like, everything at the North Pole? >> Speaker B: I think that's a possibility. >> Hunter Hoover: It's sweat. Gate 2024. We're gonna have to. >> Speaker B: If you viewers were able to see my face, my jaw just dropped because I have seen vials. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Oh, it's
like Santa sweat. It's essence of Santa. >> Speaker B: I think so. >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. That. Ugh. Uh, Mrs. Claus, you gotta stop. Um, well, Dingle, I'm glad you came. I don't feel like I helped you. >> Speaker B: Um, it's okay. I just know if we do unionize, I would ask for you to possibly be like, president or vice president. Maybe you don't have to be at the North Pole. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, um. I think VP is a good spot for me. Feel like, um. I feel like I
was president. I'm gonna have to involve myself with Santa in a way that I can't commit too. Um, but I think VP is a good spot. I really think that Jack Frost might be a good president. Like, he's already got that vested interest to. >> Speaker B: But how can we get him back? >> Hunter Hoover: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that's what I'll work on this year. I'll have to figure something out. In my luck, Jack Frost is gonna pop up next year and we'll see what we can do.
>> Speaker B: Please. And if I need to be in here for a meeting? >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. Classic three way in the school bathroom. >> Speaker B: Pause. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, well, Dingle, we'll see what we can do. I really appreciate you. You coming down from the North Pole and, uh, just sharing your story. Do you want to leave the listener with
any bathroom wisdom for from the North Pole? Or maybe just, you know, air your grievance however you want toa leave people with this. >> Speaker B: The biggest thing is if you're ever going to use the restroom and you know, there are plenty of people in there. Take the poopurri. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. Do you guys have, like, mint, like, peppermint poopery up there? Pepper me peppery. >> Speaker B: Wait, we actually use the honey one more?
>> Hunter Hoover: More than that Honey. Wow. Hmm. M. Have you ever tried? Now this is I've never done this, but I have thought about doing it. You've introduced a topic. Poop pori might be something we need to discuss on the show one day. But, uh, have you ever thought about, like taking that thing right to the source and deodorizing the whole itself prior to the job? >> Speaker B: That actually might be something that I might try. >> Hunter Hoover: Right.
>> Speaker B: And I just. I'm afraid there might be a chemical reaction it. >> Hunter Hoover: Could you hit Santa with it? You know how sometimes like they wash your car and they like, will hit it with like a smell goody. I don't know why they do that, but maybe you could hit like Santa with uh, that like after. After spray just in right up in. >> Speaker B: Them yoga balls and accidentally telling I sneezed. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. >> Speaker B: Out.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, that could be good. Helps with the smell. >> Speaker B: True. >> Hunter Hoover: Mrs. Claus probably be into it. >> Speaker B: Mrs. Claus would probably. >> Hunter Hoover: Rudolph's probably into it. >> Speaker B: Rudolph know might go redd if we do that. >> Hunter Hoover: Rudolph. Well, dingle, I appreciate you being
herena. Um, I'm gonna. So every time I end an episode, I guess we'll get to the holiday the hoovie's holiday treat list next year. Don't worry, it hasn't changed. Um, but I always have to end the episode. So, um, I guess there's nothing I to ll say but like thanks for being here and, um, yeah, keep pooping in the free world. Uh, don't be afraid to unionize your elves. And I, um, guess take the poopur straight to the bee hole. Just give it a shot. It's worth
anything's worth trying once. I suppose that'll do for another episode of Privy. And now, as always, don't forget to flush the toilet. That was a good flash.