>> Hunter Hoover: But I was the janitor, so I went in and the toilet is just plugged. And, uh, what in the world? And I kind of started to plunge it and it's pulling and I'm, what is that? >> Jesse Turkington: I'm not ready. >> Hunter Hoover: And so I got the, like, strap and I'm like, that's a diaper.
And I had to, like, I had to get scissors down in the s and cut the diaper apart to get it out of the s band because the inside of the diaper, the little jelly ball things that are in it just, just swell up and just filled it. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom. Uh, I'm m your host, Hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms. Uh, and I'm, I'm joined virtually, but he is in his home bathroom. I'm joined by Jesse Turkington. Jesse, how are you?
>> Jesse Turkington: Hey, Hunter. Hey, listeners. I'm good. I'm glad to be here. >> Hunter Hoover: So I'm going to just share briefly up at the front and then I'm going to let Jesse kind of share who he is. But, uh, this is kind of a weird format for Jesse and I. Jesse and I are very used to recording podcasts together, um, because we are working on a project called, uh, pickled parables via parable
ministries. And Jesse will share a little bit about that later. Um, but once a month, we sit down and we do this. Uh, but the conversation is a little more serious and, uh, it's a little more important just to be 100% honest. But I really appreciate you, Jesse. Um, and you really went for it. You are in a, uh, I was commenting before the record, that lighthouse picture in the background is phenomenal. So, um, yeah, he's in his bathroom, which is, uh, uh, he leveled it up.
That, that's, uh, that's a, that's initiative right there. But, um, um, Jesse, feel free to share a little bit about who you are. And you can share your deepest, darkest secrets all the way or as little as. Hi, I'm Jesse. Uh, I'm wearing a black shirt today. >> Jesse Turkington: Got it. Okay, sure. Yeah, I'm, I'm Jesse. I'm currently in my parents bathroom, which is decorated and designed to be like a beach with a lot of lighthouses and it's like yellowy room. If you, for
those listening, I'm just trying to paint a picture for you. So you can imagine here with us, maybe you're, maybe you're in your bathroom and you're just hanging out with, with hunter and I here. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: So the, the vibe in mind right now is lighthouses, uh, ships, and boats. An alligator head over in the corner. >> Hunter Hoover: What? >> Jesse Turkington: A stained glass window hanging above my window. It's very.
>> Hunter Hoover: You got out. You got. There's an alligator head in this bathroom straight from Florida. >> Jesse Turkington: It's, like, kind of taxidermied, but super, super hardened. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, no, no. I know the type. My dad's from Florida, and so, like, I'm very aware of that exact vibe. >> Jesse Turkington: Um, yeah, it's a baby guy. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah.
>> Hunter Hoover: Hey, but still, man. Oh, I might pitch to Anna an alligator head right between our mirrors in our bathroom here because there's a blank wall space. Um. Ooh, man, that's awesome. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. Anyhow, so that's where I'm at right now. Um, what I do for a living, I serve as the executive director of a bible teaching nonprofit called Parable ministries. And Parable ministries is kind of a passion
project for me. It just started out as a little podcast called Pickled Parables, uh, in 2020, I believe. And from there, it grew with partnering with other Bible teachers. Uh, getting Hunter involved, getting him on the boat, was fun, and then it grew to several. We're up to three podcasts now, and we have a full website, different social spaces, and it's a. Ah, it's a dream come true for me. I love it. It's. It's something I would
love to do forever. So I focus a lot of my time on parable, uh, ministries today, I just finished recording through the gospel of Mark. Uh, that. That's something. That's project number two that I'm juggling. I do that for a podcast called my Dusty Bible. And that's a podcast about reading a. Through the book of the Bible or reading through the books of the Bible one episode at a time. Each episode is a full chunk, a
full book of the Bible. So, next up was the gospel of Mark, and I just finished recording that today. So now I get to take that raw audio and slap it down like a slab of meat and just start cutting away at the pieces and splicing it together and making it sound pretty. >> Hunter Hoover: He gets to edit for hours. Yeah, it's. It's Jesse. That just to give listener, if you're. Just want to say this, if you're listening to this podcast, enjoyer, uh, I actually
timed. So an episode of privy is normally between 30 and 30 minutes in an hour. And I timed it to, like, write for, uh, a, uh, regular episode, to write it, record it, and edit it. It's about three to 4 hours, and that produces like 40 minutes. And so I can't imagine the amount of just man power and time that you're like. You are really going for it. Um, recording these books of the bible, that the finished product is sometimes two to four. Sometimes I think one isn't. Was when
you did Genesis, was it almost 5 hours? Was it pushing it? >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, it was big, I remember. So I started out with Genesis in a different translation, and we switched translations. We got a. We got to deal with Tyndale to read it in the new living translation. >> Hunter Hoover: Shout out to Tyndale. >> Jesse Turkington: When I did that, we started at the back of the bible, and we're now working our way forward. So we went to revelation, and we're going back to
Genesis now. So I did Genesis a long time ago. I don't remember the. The finished product time, but I know that the raw audio time of recording was about 8 hours. >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. Um, that's a. That's a. That. That file will make your computer spin. >> Jesse Turkington: Yes. Wow. Yeah. Uh, for Mark, which is the smallest of the gospels, uh, that took about three days or about two and a half days for me to record.
>> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. Um, so I have one question about these long record times. How often do you stop for, like, a bathroom break in there or you just, like, soldiering through? >> Jesse Turkington: No, no. I, um. So I play a game with myself when I have to record because I get so depressed sometimes when I see all the. All the, like, pages I have left. I'll, uh, do five, uh, chapters, sometimes four, and I take a break. And then I'll, uh. So
I'll take a break. I'll go. I'll do a couple squats. I walk around the room, I'll cry, and I'll pray, and I'll say, God, this is horrible. And then this is a little peek behind the curtain, and then, yeah, and then I'll go use the restroom if I need to, and then I'll come back and do five more. And then that's. That's the goal with. With Mark. I modified it because there's 16 chapters in mark, and so I did four chapters. So that would try to do like. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, four, four.
>> Jesse Turkington: Uh, and then I could do that, which is four times. And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Like the first day, I got through eight chapters easily, and then the next day, I just had such a hard time getting through five chapters. I got through four and a half, essentially, and I hit a wall where. So reading and enunciating is kind of hard for me, uh, I'll be honest. Like, I had a speech impediment as a kid,
and I went to speech therapy. I had to learn how to say l, r's and s's. And so when I start reading and talking a lot, uh, I slip up. And then the old sounds I used for those, uh, l, r, and s would come through. And so that creates frustration for me because it's like, oh, I'm like, I'm not getting the sounds right. And so when I'm reading for such long periods of time, that that will come through a lot near the end. And so I have to
pace myself. It's like my tongue muscle gets tired or something, and I have to stop. So I hit a wall on, uh, my second day, and I just couldn't keep, I just couldn't get through that last chapter. So stopped early and then went back this morning and cranked it out till noon. >> Hunter Hoover: Wow, man. That's, I, yeah. I did not know that. That's, um, um, no props for you for, like, taking on that endeavor. And I imagine, you know, that it's, it's one of those things
where it's, I don't know. You can correct me, but it's probably, it strikes right when you're like, I just need to, yeah, this is, I need to get this. And it, that's usually when it hits, um. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Mandy. Wow. Um, and the other thing. And you can later on if you're like, yeah, you know, we don't need to. But correct me if I'm wrong, you said you recorded, um, one book of, uh, episode, ah. Of my dusty Bible in a bathroom. Is that correct?
>> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, I did, um, the book of Romans. So anyone listening right now, if you're a big fan of bathrooms, the episode Romans of my dusty Bible was recorded in a bathroom. >> Hunter Hoover: And it's, I'm gonna tell you, Jesse, it's actually very fitting that you did Romans from a bathroom because, as well as, like, so this show has kind of taken on, like, me just really getting farther into the Internet than I want sometimes. But so much of bathroom just
things goes back to Rome. Rome, uh, or France. Search me. But, like, France has had their hand on the ball more times than, than not. But, but ancient Rome, it, like, the amount of things that they tried or did that we have just kind of updated and played on. So it's, it's very fitting that, that you did romans from a bathroom because, yeah, they have a rich bathroom history. >> Jesse Turkington: Wow.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Um, yeah, well, so, Jesse, I. The way that the show usually goes is I have a series of questions that I ask everybody. Um, and as we go through a lot of times, what happens is if people hear a question and they'll be like, you know, I guess I kind of have a thing that I could talk about there. Feel free to stop me anytime you want. And so I'll start by, do you have anything off the top of your head that you
want to share? It can be a bathroom story. It can be as simple as, like, yeah, this one time I went into the bathroom and some, I heard a guy struggling for his life. Anything. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, I really don't have any great, uh, bathroom stories. I have a question that, uh, as I guess, the official bathroom guy that I want to ask you. Uh, I don't know. And so maybe, you know.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: But for scuba divers, when they go scuba diving, how, how far do you think, like, water pressure. How far do you think they have to go before they can't poop? >> Hunter Hoover: Before they're, they're unable? >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. Like, the war, the pressure, um, is pushing in. Is it pretty far?
>> Hunter Hoover: I don't know. See, so, like I said, I just recorded an episode and, and during that episode, um, and yours and theirs will come out about a month apartheid. Um, but in that episode, this person's like, yeah, uh, I saw on Facebook that people eat steak in the shower. And I'm like, not, yeah, exactly. But, jesse, the question that you've just asked is how far down does scuba have to go before you just can't poop? I know there's an answer and I will be looking into it.
>> Jesse Turkington: Um, also, part two to that question. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: How do they poop? Because, well, you got, you, you can't go up fast because with the pressure system, you, you have to go up certain levels and let your body adapt to the different pressure. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: And then move. So if you gotta go, you can't just, like, swim up to the top. >> Hunter Hoover: I, so my hunch is they just
go, oh, okay. Because, so, uh, bike, like, professional cyclists, like marathon long distance cyclists and long distance runners. Yeah, they, they have, they have porta potties, but often the amount of time that they can shave by not stopping, getting off their bike using the porta potty, um, if they're, if they're far enough into the race that, like, I, so I have, I've talked to, I haven't had him on the show, but I've talked to a guy at the high school who.
Right. Who cycles, but he also does, like, cross country type. And he told me, like, yeah, it's a thing. And the calculation is how much more racing do I have to? Where if I stop, will I lose or will it cost me my time? But if I don't stop, will the chafing that results in just doing it into your pants, will that also set me back to the point where I will lose time? And that's the calculation. Um, um. But there's like people that. Yeah, I just go, I just let it fly while I run or,
or, um, um. And a lot of people, um, um. It might be similar to scuba, but for different, like scuba might be a pressure problem where you just can't, like you're, you're in. Cause a lot of people when they're running, their, their blood is, is pumping to their extremities and stuff to keep like you alive while you do that, that they can't poop. Like it. Sometimes they'll even be constipated days after. It's um, like runners poop. Yeah, it's. Oh, yeah,
it's so my. I'm wondering if it's something similar with scuba where the. Yeah, the exterior effects on your body shut things down. I will be looking into it. >> Jesse Turkington: Um. Okay. Yeah, man. Wow. >> Hunter Hoover: Do you scuba? Have you ever had, do. >> Jesse Turkington: I know, I know I haven't scuba. I like snorkeling, but, uh, scuba, like I once looked into becoming an underwater welder for like an oil rig. And it was something, I was like.
>> Hunter Hoover: I could do that. >> Jesse Turkington: I mean, it's a dangerous job. It was on, um, different situations. And I have a friend who did it and he just has such incredible stories of. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Ah. >> Jesse Turkington: Being under the deep, deep dark blue and, and just wild things. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, yeah, it's dangerous. But my understanding is it pays like woofy. I mean, it's like money.
>> Jesse Turkington: My, my buddy who did it worked for a handful of years, got out of it, bought houses, and that's what he does now. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, classic real estate. Um. Yeah, I, I know there's so much money in real estate, I just. >> Jesse Turkington: The. >> Hunter Hoover: You have to either hire the upkeep and. Yeah, I. Anyway. >> Jesse Turkington: Mm hmm.
>> Hunter Hoover: I, I've looked at it cuz my, I got so many friends and people that are like, we're realtors or we're real estate agents, which apparently is a different thing. I don't know. >> Jesse Turkington: Okay. >> Hunter Hoover: Um. I think it's a licensing thing. Like one of them is like maybe they cut some corners and uh, it's like black market realtor type thing. I don't know. But yeah, there's, there's real estate agent and realtor are different. And it's like your
licensing and. Yeah. You're brokering. I'd have to ask. I have a, I have a co worker at the high school. Her husband is the legit one. And she has told me multiple times she'll rant about how. Oh, so, and so they're not, they're just, um, they're just the, I don't remember which one's which, but they're just the other one because they don't actually do it and they're taking all the business. But people are, you know, they get hosed when they go to close because
they, all these licensing are weird. Then you have to pay this third party to help you license. And it's like, oh, man, I see that. I want nothing to do with that. Um, I don't like to, I don't like bookkeeping or numbers or money. And I'm just like, go away with it. Uh, well, yeah, so that's a good question. The, under the scuba, um, yeah, because when you're
in a submarine, they like counteract the pressure. I was trying to think of submarining stuff, but I know that they pressurize it so that way you don't feel the effects of the outside. So, yeah, I'd be interested, um, or I wonder if this is the dark side. I wonder, I think you would go so far down that you would just not be able to hold it. I wonder if that's the case where it's just like interesting. >> Jesse Turkington: So you like wear a diaper type of thing?
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Or just let nature just, you know, void it straight into the ocean. >> Jesse Turkington: Um, oh, like a little trap door, like, like those big onesies where you like, I just think when there's, I. >> Hunter Hoover: Think when there's that much water, I think it's just going to rinse itself right through the, I didn't even think of that. I don't even know. Yeah, I, there's, I'm going to be doing some research now. Future topic pending.
>> Jesse Turkington: Um, okay. >> Hunter Hoover: No, that's funny. So first question for you, Jesse, is what type of toilet paper do you use? Um, or do you prefer, do you have, do you have a preference? >> Jesse Turkington: I do have preference of what I don't like, but I don't have a preference of what I like, need type of thing. So when I would buy toilet paper, I would avoid the single sheets because they would just disintegrate when I looked at them.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Um, and whenever I see them in a, in a public restroom. My heart gets really sad for a little bit, and it's like, oh, no. But for. For other kinds. I don't like the super thick kind. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Jesse Turkington: Because it always tricks me out because, I'll be honest, I bounce around a lot of places, so I'm pretty used to the single sheet. But, um, when I get to the thick kind, I'm
used to taking a lot. Yeah, because of the single. But with the. With the big stuff, you don't need a lot. You need. You need, like, one square, and then you can clog the toilet with that big stuff, um, because you're used to the little stuff. So I I don't like that going from the small to the big stuff. If I could just take that medium Costco stuff, you know, that that's really. Yes, that's what I need. >> Hunter Hoover: That's. I. So
I have. I have asked, like, 30 people this question, and I've had a handful of people say, yeah, I like Costco. But then when I'm like, yeah, I use Costco. That's, like, all. I use everybody. I have not found a single person that has a grievance against Costco toilet paper. It's nobody's first choice. Like, nobody. Very few people are like, yeah, I choose Costco above all else, but everybody's like, yeah, I get it. Like, it's cheaper. It's not so paper
thin. Um, yeah, I want the public school district that I work for to atone for their sins, because, um, they. They have by far the lowest quality toilet paper. >> Jesse Turkington: Um. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, that. That can be bought. Uh, uh, it is truly. It is truly a crime. >> Jesse Turkington: Um. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, to the point where, uh, like, there have been times we go into the men's bathroom, the staff bathroom, and there is just.
Somebody has brought their home roll and just stuck the home roll in the back, and I've. And I've gone for it. I'm like, listen, you left it in here for me. If you didn't want me to partake, you should have taken it back to your classroom. Um, but, yeah, it's. It's a terrible, terrible thing. I, uh. Yeah, it's baffling, but, uh. Okay, so you're. You're kind of. You're kind of toilet paper agnostic. Uh,
I agree that there's nothing worse in this world. Well, there is some things where there's a lot of things worse in this world, but, um. But in the bathroom that when you go to. When you go to wipe, and if it's just. It's just crass, but when the toilet paper so thin that your finger goes through you that I, like, I get so quiet and just kind of, like, introspectively frustrated whenever that I'm faced with. >> Jesse Turkington: That, because it's the sadness, it's the
overwhelming sadness. It's a pit of despair. >> Hunter Hoover: We have robots that are trying to replicate everybody's everything, and we can't figure out how to, like, both make the paper thin and eco friendly and not rip immediately. Like, we've got to be able to. Um, when you're. When your toilet paper's on the roll, is your. Is your toilet paper folding over, or is it an under? Are you an over? >> Jesse Turkington: No. No. I have pretty strong feelings about this
at houses. I flip it when I. >> Hunter Hoover: You do? Oh, my goodness. Oh, boy. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, it's the over. Unless they have cats. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, my gosh. Jesse. Okay. >> Jesse Turkington: All right. >> Hunter Hoover: So you are. You are not the first to bring up the cats as a problem, and I am convinced that the cats are going to get it no matter what. No, I don't have cats. I don't have cats. So I don't
know. Um, and I'm. I'm kind of cat agnostic and that I'm not convinced that they exist or should exist. No, no, I would never harm a cat, but I would also never own one. Um, that's fair. So you. So you will flip it. If you go to someone's home, you'll flip it around? Huh? Huh? >> Jesse Turkington: M unless I know that they have an indoor cat, then I'll leave. That. That's my, that's my condition. That's my grace to them. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. So I.
So you and Anna are in agreement? Because Anna is, like, it must go over. Every other configuration is bad. Um, I do not believe that it matters. In fact, I have a conspiracy theory that I'm, I'm doing a lot of research on. It's a. Ah, it's like one of those episodes that will land probably somewhere 2025, 2026, because I'm trying to, like, build it, but. But just sneak peek on. I'm convinced that the man who designed toilet paper had everybody do flip over so
he would sell more toilet. Like, I'm confident that there's a marketing. Like, there's a piece of marketing to sell more toilet paper. Um, um, I can't. I haven't been able to prove it yet. I'm working on it. Uh, uh, but I don't care. Like, my opinion is, if I get it on the roll, I have succeeded as a human. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, uh, halfway there. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. I think it's very bold that you change it, though, because
I would never notice. Like, if, if you came to our house and I had put it on, quote unquote, the wrong way, um, and you flipped it, I would never know. In fact, I'm confident that Anna flips ours, and I don't even notice because I'm like, yeah, it's on there. I'm actually, sometimes I won't even put it on. I'll just set it on top and just, like, put it, oh, sure. It's not even on the roll. Like, I don't have time for that.
>> Jesse Turkington: Uh, I mean, sometimes when you're getting really low, uh, and you, you get a more full or fuller roll and you put that on, then you just leave the other one around so you can use it up. Right? >> Hunter Hoover: Yes. Well, in Charmin sells a roll extender now, so you can actually, like, get a little more space in between the wall and your roll. I, um, don't,
I don't own one. I am, I'm looking into it because Costco, their roll, when it's full, is, like, just too tight against the wall. >> Jesse Turkington: It is pretty big. You know, I never noticed, but in this bathroom I'm in, it's got a pretty deep cavity for that, that rule to just sit in there. >> Hunter Hoover: Does it kind of regress into the wall? >> Jesse Turkington: It does regress. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, those are, that's a premium job. Um,
whoever. Yeah. You don't see that often. That is, that's actually, like, that's a rarity to see nowadays. >> Jesse Turkington: I'll take a picture. I'll send it to you. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna, there's a lot in this bathroom that I want pictures of. A, uh, sentence that will be taken out of context at some point in my life. Um, Jesse, you've already kind of spoken to it, but so you're, it really depends on the
sheet. But how many sheets, when you go for the job, how many sheets would you say is, like, this is the perfect number of squares that I'm getting on. Getting on. >> Jesse Turkington: It's a good thing I'm in a bathroom because I'm a visual guy. So we got one, two, three. Let's, let's say four. >> Hunter Hoover: Four. It's acceptable. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, I'm holding up to the, to the camera right now, and I think that's a. Yeah, I fold it. I like to fold my paper.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, praise, praise be to heat. Because there's, there's these people. There's these crumple people in the world. You've ever met. You've ever. Okay. I don't know under what context you would ever see somebody wiping, but there are people that crumple their toilet paper to wipe. And I can only understand, like, it's like this. >> Jesse Turkington: Ooh, like a. Yep. Like what you're trying to do when you use a tissue to blow your nose.
>> Hunter Hoover: And, yeah, to me, it looks like they have just caught a spider and have, like, crumpled this up. But now, instead of throwing it away. >> Jesse Turkington: Multi use. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, right back for it. And, uh, as I love, I love my boy, but my boy has somehow figured out how to be a crumpler. Despite neither of his parents have taught him this. I don't know where this method came from. Um hm. I have tried to correct the course and he's like, no,
dad, this is better. And I'm like, how? It's an indefensible position, son. >> Jesse Turkington: Um, you know, you just sparked and I had a, ah, thought in my mind, uh, when we were talking about the crumples. I think I said the word tissue paper. I'm a big fan. If I don't, if I don't have access to, uh, oh, yeah. Nice toilet paper. I'm a big fan of using, uh, my kleenex or tissue paper hundred percent because it's, it's so, it's so soft.
>> Hunter Hoover: Well, in, it's. I'll probably get canceled, but it's flushable. I. Kleenex, is it not puffs? I thought so. >> Jesse Turkington: I thought so. >> Hunter Hoover: Because whenever, like, allergy season, we're at the tail end of allergy season. Thank, thank the Lord. Um, but when it's in the throes of allergy season, I am blowing my nose so often that it goes in the toilet because I'm filling a trash. If I'm. And yeah, I'll do
spear four in there and then hit the flusher. I'm hoping it's, yeah, I never heard. >> Jesse Turkington: Of them not, uh, being this, this says kleenex 100 years. I feel like they've had plenty of time to figure out, but I'm wondering. >> Hunter Hoover: So I think, jesse, my concern is not, I'm pretty confident it's flushable. The question is, is it flushable in the sense of, like, how they have the dude
wipes that they say are flushable, but they're not. Like, they do get stuck in the, in the works or, like, really. >> Jesse Turkington: I've never used it. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, it's, it's, it's kind of a premium experience. But, yeah, don't, you're not supposed to flush them. It says flushable. But, like, if you ask, like, plumbers or, um, even, like, if you talk to people that have used them and they have their own plumbing problems, they're
had. They're like, yeah, don't flush these, uh, feminine hygiene products, same thing. You're not supposed to flush those. >> Jesse Turkington: I see many signs for that. And, yeah, over my years, yeah, dude. >> Hunter Hoover: When I worked as a janitor in Salem, somebody flushed a diaper, like a chilled. >> Jesse Turkington: No, yeah, but that doesn't even make sense, though. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, people didn't do a lot that
made sense where. But I was the janitor, so I went in and I, the toilet is just plugged. >> Jesse Turkington: And, uh. >> Hunter Hoover: What in the world? And I kind of started to plunge it, and it's pulling, and I'm, what is that? >> Jesse Turkington: I'm not ready. >> Hunter Hoover: And so I got the, like, strap, and I'm like, that's a diaper.
And I had to, like, I had to get scissors down in the s and cut the diaper apart to get it out of the s band because the inside of the diaper, the little jelly ball things that are in it just, just, and just filled it. And I'm like, this is madness. Like, there's a trash can. I get that it stinks. But this is, this can't be better. Um, yet, I've learned a lot that people, when it comes to bathroom common sense, many people do not have it. >> Jesse Turkington: Um, this is a needed podcast.
We need to have this etiquette. >> Hunter Hoover: Jesse. I have so many just dumb stories. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Um, and you can interpret this however you want, hand washing or showering. Um, but are you a bar soap or a liquid soap guy? >> Jesse Turkington: Ooh, wow. What a way to phrase that. Yeah. I think for hand washing, I prefer liquid.
>> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, uh, and for the shower, I mean, I'm not opposed to, like, that dove bar, you know? >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Or what's that green one? Lucky something. No. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, uh, irish spring. >> Jesse Turkington: There it is. Yo. Irish springs. >> Hunter Hoover: Yep. My dad used, um, that my entire childhood. That was his bar of soap. Irish spring.
Green bar. Yep. >> Jesse Turkington: Yep. I if I'm using the bar, I think I prefer that dove, that white, white dove. Uh, I found, I found this, uh, bathroom body wash I'm a big fan of. It has, like, these little sand, a little bits of sand in it, a little grit. Yeah. And, uh, it works really well for when you're out working in the yard and you get that lawn dust all over you and you got to go in to just, and it just stuck on you. That dust, it's like using that, uh, that
old. Like, my dad has this special, uh, soap that has a lot of grit in it, but you're not supposed to use water with it. You just put it on your hands and you just. For minutes. >> Hunter Hoover: You don't use water with. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. And you. You get, like, oil. It just pulls anything off you. And so I've never. >> Hunter Hoover: I've. This is. I'm learning all sorts of stuff. Waterless. Wait, okay, I got.
>> Jesse Turkington: And then you go and wash, like, you get. You wash it off when you're done spreading it everywhere, but you got to let it sit and pull things off your. Your skin. >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. I, uh. Yeah, I will be looking into that. >> Jesse Turkington: I'll, uh, send you a picture. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, please do. Again, uh, this bathroom. I I might have to go make a trip. >> Jesse Turkington: No, that's the special stuff.
He keeps that in the workshop. No, you don't use that just for, like, washing your hands? No. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, okay, so primarily liquid, but you'll go for bar. Yeah, every now and then. Okay. Uh, you ever. So you ever. You ever think about, like, leaving your dad a message in one of them bar soaps that he's got? Like, right. Like, carving him a little message in itheme? >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, I have not. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, it's thought people do that.
Apparently, people will. People will carve each other messages in bar soap. I found out, and ever since I found it out, I was like, well, I'm gonna start asking people because you never know. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, I'll be honest, I don't really like the idea of sharing my bar. Like, I've always had my bar soap. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. So here's one of those stories that I can share because Anna shared it publicly on the Internet
two or three years back. But when. And I. I love my wife, and I had to tell her, I said, this isn't normal behavior, but when they were growing up, her and her siblings all shared a bar of soap. Like, and she is. She is the middle of seven. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, and seven. >> Hunter Hoover: And is one of. I think it's truly one of those things where, like, if you don't know any better growing up, and that's all you like. Yeah. Like, why would you.
But when she told me that, I was like, that's, that's wild. Like, didn't you ever stop and think what your brother had done with that bar of soap at any point? Like, uh, I would. I know. Like, it's me. That's my soap. Uh, yeah, I'm. I'm borderline that way with my liquid soap. I don't really like people getting into it. Um, because
I'll shower. I'll shower at the church, um, during the school year, because I get up and do a little workout, and then I go to the church and shower, and then I work, and then I go to school and I leave my soap in the thing. And every now and then it'll have moved. And I'm like, oh, no. It's like, it's not that I don't like sharing. I'm afraid somebody has put something in it, like die or. I've seen so many, like, YouTube videos of.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, dude, you put a little pull of blue, blue hair dye in there, and I'm just, I'm so sketched out that I'm gonna, like, blue my hair. >> Jesse Turkington: That's so mean. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Now that I've said it, somebody's gonna do it and I'm gonna have blue hair. At some point. I will shave myself bald if that happens. Um, I will go baby face and bald on top if I end up with blue hair, anything.
Um. >> Jesse Turkington: Man. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Oh, Jesse, what's your opinion on baths? How do you feel about baths? >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, big fan. I like baths. I, uh, like Epsom salt baths. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. >> Jesse Turkington: Um. >> Hunter Hoover: Do you ever feel when you're taking a bath that you're just, like, making soup from yourself?
>> Jesse Turkington: Wow. Uh, you know, I never have thought of that before, but that's probably all I'm gonna ever think about next time I have a bath. >> Hunter Hoover: No, I ruined it. Yeah. That's. I want to be a person that likes baths. Um, I just can't. I can't get past just that. I'm like, I'm like a human teabag at that point.
>> Jesse Turkington: Well, sure. I mean, yeah, of course. But it's the, it's for the achy joints and, uh, the sore, the muscle you pulled in your lower back, and you're just letting that heat just permeate and soak in there. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, that's probably wise. I I should probably venture down this road. Um. Um, I've found that at some point between the age of 20 and 30, everything is just like. Yeah, you might as well hurt today. Um, um. And it's fun.
It's. It's really interesting. Uh, uh, I stood up. We. Oh, old man problem. Here we go. I was at the gym two weeks ago. I did a little bit of cardio, and then I sat down to do some sit ups. I did two sit ups throughout my back, and my back hurt for four days from two sit ups. Uh, so never felt older yet. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, okay, do you have, like, a bathroom? Wait, wait. Or not bathroom. Do you have, like, a bath? Not ritual, but like, a setup that you
enjoy? Um, whether that's. Do you ever do, like, a drink in the bath or maybe a snack. >> Jesse Turkington: When taking a bath? >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Gotcha. Um, typically, uh, so I guess for just general knowledge in advance for this question. I'm a man of finding routine, and then I simplify the routine. So an example of that is, I like to make an omelet in the morning for breakfast. And I have simplified that routine to the point of I no
longer break the eggs and stir it together. I just fry the eggs, and I make a fried omelet, and just, like, it still, it works. So do that with a lot of things. When I take a bath, I just get the water warm, put in some epsom salt, sit in there for a soak, and I watch a tv show. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, uh, yeah, I imagine a tv show is about as long as you need to be in a bath, too. So that probably works out pretty well.
>> Jesse Turkington: Make sure it's not, like, one of them hour long. You got to get one of them office episodes or something. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, see, at some point. At some point, like, Disney or some other bad person, um, like, decided we're gonna try to pass off a movie as an episode of tv several times. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah.
>> Hunter Hoover: And I don't. I am. I'm convinced that what happened was, is they shot a movie and they had all this extra material that somebody was just. So I have to keep every shot that they're like, uh, we'll just. We'll just turn it into a tv show. We'll release five episodes. It'll be great. It's like, that's. That's my. I'm full of conspiracy theories. That's. That's my conspiracy theory. >> Jesse Turkington: That's, uh, a hot take. Interesting.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. And while we're talking about tv, I have to take a minute and say how much I absolutely despise, um, HBO. Max. Now just. >> Jesse Turkington: Max, that rebranding is devastating. >> Hunter Hoover: They did a dirty, rotten tax break trick a couple years ago and canned a bunch of shows, and I signed up for a year at, like, a sucker. Um, and then one week later, they canned the three shows that I signed up. Uh, no
joke. Like, I told Anna, I was like, oh, they have them. I can't find these three anywhere. And I signed up, and they wrote them off as a tax break a week later. And I went, oh, $120 later. Can't get that money. Back. >> Jesse Turkington: So, um, you gotta wait for the Black Friday deals. They give you like, five months for, like, $3. >> Hunter Hoover: I know. It's. Yeah, I. Yeah, it. I
forget now. What I need to do is I need to cancel, like, October and then re sign up in November so that way I can get back on the deal. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. Uh, in preparation. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Yes. Um, in the bathroom. Do you ever have a snack or a drink? Whether you're on the toilet or in the shower or anything?
>> Jesse Turkington: Oh, okay. There's a fun. Yeah, it started so I. I didn't do things like that, but I. So in high school, this is a. It's kind of a sad story, but also kind of an interesting one at the same time. I, uh. Uh, I got food poisoning from buffalo wild wings that put me out of commission for, like, a week and a half. >> Hunter Hoover: Yo. Uh, I knew. I knew that you had this and I've heard this, but I didn't know it was buffalo.
>> Jesse Turkington: Buffalo. Yeah. It took me a long time to get back into Buffalo, but we're back, so it's okay. >> Hunter Hoover: Wow. >> Jesse Turkington: It was a weird looking nugget. Just be careful. Anyone, you ever see a weird looking nugget, just. Just say no. It's okay, man. So the. Let's see. Where was the story going? Oh, there it is. So the. The food poisoning lasted for a bit over a week, and I got so weak, I just couldn't
walk. And my parents grew concerned and took me to an urgent care, and they. The urgent care misdiagnosed the situation because the top half of my body was fine. I could move just fine, but I had a really hard time moving my legs. And so they were like, meningitis, question mark. And so they sent me to the hospital where they performed a spinal tap, uh, to see if there was any meningitis and stuff, but there was none. I was just. It was food poisoning. Uh, my doctor told me that I
was. Because I hadn't had food or water for that long, for a while. My body was going into, like, a premature rigor mortis, is how he said it. You were like. It started from the bottom. You lost legs, and you were gonna keep losing functions as you went up. So, uh, I guess they just don't see things like that because food poisoning typically is like, you're gonna throw up a couple times for, like, a day or a couple days, and then it goes away. But
I guess. I guess genuine food poisoning is when you're actually poisoned and you're just losing function and stuff. Anyhow, uh, while I was having that food poisoning in the hospital. They wouldn't let me go until I could eat, until they watched me eat food. So I was like, fine, I don't like hospitals. I had spent the night there and I was done with it. So I was like, look, I know I'm food poisoned. I know everything you're doing is wrong. So I was like, help me to the bathroom. And
so I. They helped me to the bathroom. They gave me a tray. I ate eggs on the toilet as, uh, a person watched me. And I immediately m made the eggs disappear, both in my mouth and out of my body. And they were just watching me do that. And they were like, oh, wow, maybe you, maybe you are. And I was like, yes, maybe I am. >> Hunter Hoover: What? >> Jesse Turkington: But it was from that point on, uh, that I became okay with, with eating in the
bathroom. So I was like, I mean, honestly, we crossed a lot of barriers there. We had someone watch me on the bathroom, we ate in the bathroom, and I had food poisoning. All the three, just, just a great combo right there. So since then, it's like, uh, I don't really care for having. Okay, this is a little hipaa hypocritical, I know, but I'm not a huge fan of bringing, uh, like a glass of orange juice or something open container like that. >> Hunter Hoover: Yes, yes.
>> Jesse Turkington: Um, if it's like a crack open little or a twist, that's fine. But I'm okay with bringing food in here and eating that uncovered. So that's. I understand that's hypocritical, but that's life. That's where we're at. >> Hunter Hoover: What do you think's the wildest thing you've eaten in the bathroom? >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, uh, probably lasagna. I don't know. >> Hunter Hoover: Whoa, lasagna? Really?
>> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, just dinner. Just bring dinner in here. >> Hunter Hoover: What constitutes that? Is it just like you're mid dinner and you're like, I gotta go to the bathroom. >> Jesse Turkington: No, no, no. You don't go in here to use the bathroom. The bathroom is a safe space. Like you, you get away. It's the one, one room. You can shut the door and be alone. So, okay, you're like, I'm gonna have dinner. And then you go to the bathroom and you, you are alone.
>> Hunter Hoover: That's, that's interesting. I, that's new. Um, that's new. So I think what you're doing is less, uh, is less concerning. Cause I was picturing like, pants down in, in the middle of a job. Lasagna. >> Jesse Turkington: Mhm. And I'm like, well, that's, that's a lot. I can understand. That's, that's a lot. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: But what. Yes, I have done that, too. >> Hunter Hoover: You have. See?
>> Jesse Turkington: So concern is warranted. So I'm back. >> Hunter Hoover: Well, I'm. It's totally fine. I've, I've heard people. I've heard everything from ribs. Apparently, people are eating steak in the shower. Oh, yeah. There. Chris, uh, Luckman, um, from the church. He, he's like, oh, yeah, dude, I had ribs on the toilet. And I'm like, you did not. Did they? The barbecue sauce alone is a bridge too far. Like, it's just, it's, it is too messy. Like,
at least lasagna. You're, you got a utensil. You're, you know, unless you're garfielding it. But, like, I, I can't imagine that. >> Jesse Turkington: No, it's either a sandwich. Like, that's the only finger food, if you will. Everything, uh, else involves a fork or a spoon. >> Hunter Hoover: Do you ever get in the shower with any, like, do you ever have, have any of that food in the shower? Shower snack?
>> Jesse Turkington: I think I took a, like, a soda pop in the shower once, but I got, like, shower, uh, water in it, and I remember thinking, never again. And I just haven't since then. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah. I, I always sit it in the very far back. I'm a, I'm a big polar seltzer in the shower guy. Like, especially my, like, perfect day as a, as, as, like, a, uh,
I guess midwestern. Even though I don't live in the midwestern, dad is like, I drink a polar seltzer while I mow my lawn, and then I drink a second polar seltzer while I take a shower afterwards. It's like. Yeah, it, there's something about, like, those two things. I don't, I I don't really need therapy because of that exact process. Like, there's something cathartic about it. I don't know. That's probably not true. Um, have you ever, have you ever.
>> Jesse Turkington: Taken a dark shower, like, with the lights off? >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Every morning? Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Do you really? >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, I prefer it. I don't need, I don't need to see anything. I just. >> Hunter Hoover: Let's go. >> Jesse Turkington: Just. It's warm water, and you just. I know. Everything is in the shower. >> Hunter Hoover: Jesse, I. I am the same. I I shower
with the lights off. I have done it since college. Um, um, and you're exactly right for me, it's, it's my, I have, like, a light sensitivity adjustment thing with my eyes. I don't know. But. So, for me, the act of getting up and then, like, turning the bathroom lights on is just. It's just not on the table. >> Jesse Turkington: Bathroom lights are always so bright. It's especially near the mirror. I don't know why, but it. Yeah, maybe purposefully.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, it's so that way women and other people can look at their face, I guess. Um, okay, that sentence is gonna get me in trouble. Uh, have you ever eaten. Have you ever eaten an orange in the shower, as if it was an apple? >> Jesse Turkington: No, I don't know if I know that. I have. I have. I have eaten an orange, like an apple, but not in a shower. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. So with the peel. >> Jesse Turkington: Peel it first, and then you peel it.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You peel it. But then instead of, like, caring about the juices and getting the plugs and, like, maintaining, it's just full juice flow. Just. Just juice everywhere. Because it just rinses everywhere. >> Jesse Turkington: I don't know. I've never done that before. >> Hunter Hoover: It. It's worth. I always. It's worth doing once. Um, I get there's a stigma of, like, if you're the guy that carries an orange into the shower, every shower, like,
you gotta, you gotta chill. But there's something cathartic about, like, I don't have to worry. Normally, I have to be concerned about how much juice is everywhere, and now I don't. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, and as, like, having a beard, it. It's the game changer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that and ice cream. Like, I cannot eat an. I cannot eat. I I've never taken an ice cream into the shower yet. I feel like I'm willing to.
>> Jesse Turkington: I mean, if you're taking a warm shower, you wouldn't want to take ice cream in there. >> Hunter Hoover: But there's something about the cold and the hot that, I don't know, it appeals to me. Um, but, like, I cannot. I am not physically able to eat an ice cream cone and not look stupid. Um, because it doesn't matter. >> Jesse Turkington: Cone. Oh, I'm with you. Okay. >> Hunter Hoover: It doesn't matter how I lick the cone.
>> Jesse Turkington: Okay. I was imagining a spoon. I was like, really? I didn't. >> Hunter Hoover: But I got you on that, too. That and s'mores, campfire, smores. There is no path forward. That is not just marshmallow face. Um, yeah. Uh, have you ever. Jesse, have you ever performed a waffle stomp? >> Jesse Turkington: Oh. >> Hunter Hoover: Do you know what a waffle. It's okay if you don't. Do you know what a waffle stomp is?
>> Jesse Turkington: I have an idea. Why don't you go ahead and tell me? >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. So a waffle stomp is when a person is in the shower, and the urge to take a poop hits so fiercely that they just go into the bottom of the shower. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: And then they just kind of river stomp it right on down the drain. Um, so have you ever done that? >> Jesse Turkington: No. No. I am proud to say, uh, that I have never done that.
>> Hunter Hoover: Very good. Um, that is the correct answer. Um, some of us will fail the test. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, I think in terms of waffling. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, the closest I've gotten to that was pooping off a bridge. >> Hunter Hoover: But you did. >> Jesse Turkington: It was a railroad bridge. So it had those. It had slats every few feet. So you had. It was really, really high up
over the river. And you just find a slat and you just put yourself in between that slat and just let. >> Hunter Hoover: What river? >> Jesse Turkington: Of course, the Willamette. >> Hunter Hoover: It already is full of it anyway. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, that's the idea. >> Hunter Hoover: Do you. When was this? Can you say? >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah? Yeah. Um, I was in high school. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so that's an acceptable answer?
>> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. That was like, what, 12, 13, 14 years ago, man. >> Hunter Hoover: Dude, pooping off a bridge is pretty. That's pretty strong move. >> Jesse Turkington: Like, pretty fun. >> Hunter Hoover: I would argue. That's a good bathroom story. >> Jesse Turkington: Uh oh, you're right. I didn't even think of that. >> Hunter Hoover: I'm telling you, everybody, everybody has something, and it just. We just have to dig. Okay.
Were you with. Were you accompanied? >> Jesse Turkington: Yes. It was a canoe trip. We started in the Santiago river, and it turned into the willamette. We would just find an island and we would sleep. We called ourselves the pumpkin pirates. It was a wonderful adventure. We climbed up this, uh, climbed up this railroad, uh, bridge that went over the willamette. And, uh, I. We were following footsteps of those who had been before us in that they had hammered anything,
like shoes. They would hammer anything onto the way so you could climb up the bridge. So there were planks of wood, driftwood shoes, uh, an oar. They're random things just hammered into this structure that you would climb up. Very sketchy. >> Hunter Hoover: And then we're gonna say, that sounds terrifying. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. Once you get up to the top. Uh, then we would go to the far side of the bridge, do our business, which was fun because you would wait for, like, it
was several second drop. You would push, and then you would wait for the kablunk. It was so satisfying. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, my gosh. >> Jesse Turkington: And then we would go to the other side. Uh, and just for clarification, the stream was going the opposite direction. So we didn't have to worry about it. So we went to the other side of the bridge, and then we would do some bridge jumping. We'd jump off.
>> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. If I wasn't, like, moderately afraid of heights, I would find this spot and. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, I was terrified. I was terrified. I'm terrified of heights. But, uh, I only jumped off once, and I was the last one to do so because of a choo choo starting to choose its way. And we were there, like, jesse, you gotta jump. And I was like, oh, I gotta jump. And you could feel the rumble of.
>> Hunter Hoover: The, oh, no, no. >> Jesse Turkington: I, so I took a quick jump off the bridge, but it was, it was far. It was not anywhere near. We just heard it. We could see the, the poofs of. >> Hunter Hoover: Its still, like, who? That's, that's, man, that's awesome. It's worth the climb just for the, the bathroom experience. Uh, so if you're in the shower, in the, in the urge to go to the bathroom hits, what are you, what do you usually do immediately?
>> Jesse Turkington: Um, turning off the water, drying off, going to sit down on, do you. >> Hunter Hoover: Ever get back in after, like, it's like, I have to reshower now. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, it's a minor inconvenience. You just, yes, get back in. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, so there's a third group of people. So the wall, there's the waffle stompler stomplers, and then there's the people who get out and do the normal, but then there's a third group of people.
>> Jesse Turkington: There can't be. >> Hunter Hoover: That exists. That, and I only, again, I found some, some strange things on the Internet, um, that they will poo either into the bottom of the shower or the real debased of humanity will poo and catch it. >> Jesse Turkington: No. >> Hunter Hoover: And they will, like, throw it into the toilet. That's not even exit the shower. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, my goodness.
>> Hunter Hoover: And so for me, um, 99.5% of the time, I am exiting the shower doing exactly what you have described. Yeah, the other, .5% I will and have stomped it. But I cannot imagine. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, there's, there's never been more disappointed in humanity than I am right now. >> Hunter Hoover: That, that somebody out there is catching. >> Jesse Turkington: It, and someone's catching their, uh, uh,
oh, Reddit. What if you keep the litter down on your toilet, you can't toss it. >> Hunter Hoover: Well, yeah, Reddit's a dark and scary wasteland, um, is what I've learned. And so there's, like, there's, like, pages that are like, bathroom horror stories. And, like,
I mean, there was from people saying, like, oh, yeah, I just catch it. And toss around the corner toilets right there to people is like, oh, yeah, I don't like stomping it, but I will poo in the bottom and then, like, scoot it to the back of the shower and then wait until I'm done and then collect. >> Jesse Turkington: I'm like, and we're okay with just saying that? >> Hunter Hoover: Apparently people are fine with saying that on the Internet. I,
um. Um. >> Jesse Turkington: Wow. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, those people give me courage to admit the handful of times that I have stomped it. >> Jesse Turkington: Well, I mean, that's. >> Hunter Hoover: And one was for research. Uh, one was. One was because I felt it had been too long since I had done the last one. Um, and one was necessity. Like, all of the bathroom stalls are full and there is gonna be a. There's gonna be a bad thing happening.
>> Jesse Turkington: And also interesting, I never had surge while in a dormitory. I've never had that happen. >> Hunter Hoover: So. So it was our church. I was there with the young adult guys. Yeah. Uh, Michael Wall, our custodian, he's aware. I've atoned. Um, but, uh, yeah, they did. Young adult guys were. One was showering because we had done, like, an event. And then the both bathroom stalls were full. And I'm in the shower and I'm like, yo, is the toilet open?
Nah. We're. I'm like, oh, no. >> Jesse Turkington: Okay. >> Hunter Hoover: So I did. >> Jesse Turkington: I've lived in a dorm. I've done the experience. I can understand. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, it was the only one of necessity. The others were research and just guilt that I asked so many people and hadn't done one so recent. So, um. But, yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Wow. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, so a no to the waffle stomp. Um, do
you. Do you have any pet peeves? Like, bathroom pet peeves? Uh, things that people do and you are engaged to be wed. Soon to be wed. Uh, you might find. I find that people find things that are pet peeves once they share bathrooms more frequently. Do you have any bathroom pet peeves? >> Jesse Turkington: Uh, I think the strongest one is way the toilet paper is. Is flipped. I think that's probably the strongest one. Um, I don't care about the toilet seat. Up, down, whatever. Uh, uh, we
had pets growing up, so we kept it down. Uh, uh, because we did. We had. We had a cat fall in once trying to get. Try to try to drink some water. And ever since then, we're like, you know what? We're going to just keep the toilet down forever. And. And that's been my go to. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Uh, it's wise. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah, just keep it down.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, it's fair. Uh, I don't want it to seem insensitive, me asking you this because after you have shared your story of buffalo wild wings. But I ask people, like, is there a restaurant establishment that does you the most foul? >> Jesse Turkington: Sure. >> Hunter Hoover: That just is. And is it buffalo maybe? Like. >> Jesse Turkington: No, I mean, I think it used to, for sure. I don't know. I don't. I don't eat there a lot
anymore. I. Yeah. Uh, I like the experience. Right. I like the tvs. And sometimes I'll go get a shot, but I'll go with friends and I'll let them get something, and I'll just have one or two. But, uh, I think this is also compounded because I'm kind of lactose intolerant. I wasn't always, but I have become, because I had too much, is what my doctor shared with me. So I. >> Hunter Hoover: That's a thing?
>> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. I had too much milk, specifically, too much moocau milk. So I. I, uh, would say little caesars sometimes affectionately called little squeezers. >> Hunter Hoover: Yes. You just. That double cheese. You ever get the double cheese? The extra most. >> Jesse Turkington: It's a. I have to plan my evening, right? If I'm gonna eat little caesars or pizza, I have to plan my evening knowing I'm gonna be back in my bathroom by a
certain time. I have these. I have these pills I can take. They're like these chewable lactase. >> Hunter Hoover: Yep. >> Jesse Turkington: And that. That help with it. But yes, for some reason, little caesars knows a workaround around those little pills. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. They've got, like, extra lactose. They. >> Jesse Turkington: I don't know. They just. I don't know. I. I haven't had, uh, uh, straight from New York like
that. Really runny. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Pizza in a long time. I. That might do it, too. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: But, uh. Ah, I I. Little caesars. >> Hunter Hoover: I do have so. Little caesars. Big fan. >> Jesse Turkington: Um. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, yeah, I have a lot of follow up questions about the. The comment about drinking too much milk. >> Jesse Turkington: Sure. What's up?
>> Hunter Hoover: Did your doctor tell you how much was too much? >> Jesse Turkington: Like, uh, dairy? Not like a quantity, like a number, but, yeah, I. I would have, like, a gallon every two days of moo cow. M moo. Yeah. Milk, dude. >> Hunter Hoover: Your parents were buying milk back then? >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, yeah. Well, so I'm the youngest of five boys. >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, they're used to it. >> Jesse Turkington: We all drink. I have a, uh,
my second oldest brother. He's very tall. He's very large. He's made of pure muscle. He's us marine, Deputy sheriff. Just everything a man is. And he. He would drink a gallon. A day. So I was. I was trying to keep up, right? I was like, we just liked milk. We just liked the texture. We liked the thickness. We liked the taste. We'd have it with cereal. We'd have it as just in a glass. Just anywhere, man. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: You had me scared because I love
cheese. Um, and I was fearing that, like, maybe because I'm having a little bit of, like, if I get too pizza friendly, I. Yeah, I'm noticing some changes. Um, um, and so I was getting a little. Little scared that I was gonna have a similar, like, hey, bud, you over lactose yourself into an intolerance? Um. Um, but, yeah, half gallon. A half gallon a day is. That's impressive. >> Jesse Turkington: Mm hmm. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, yeah, I I'm like, I'm 50 50 on milk. I just.
I pretty much only drink milk if I've dipped anywhere between four and six oreos in it. Like, I. It's like, you talk about rituals. Yeah, I have an oreo eating. Like, I have a ritual with. I I have to have at least four. >> Jesse Turkington: Okay. >> Hunter Hoover: And I don't know why, but it's something about, like, the. I'm gonna sound like an absolute crazy person since I haven't done that yet, but it's something about, like, the heat of the cookie.
Four oreo cookies worth of heat dissipating into fridge. Cold milk puts the milk at the exact perfect temperature to be drank. Anna thinks I'm absolutely insane for it. She does? Like, yeah. But, um, that's pretty much the only time I'm drinking white milk. Yeah. Is I. If I. >> Jesse Turkington: What about after a brownie or something, just to wash it down, you know? >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, uh, maybe m. I'll usually. I. I'll usually either just go
for. I honestly, I'll go for coffee. Like, if I'm trying to wash down a sweet, I go for that bitter coffee. Like, oh, yeah, I love coffee. Um, interesting. I would make the absolute worst Mormon because I I'm just a huge fan of coffee. >> Jesse Turkington: Like, yeah, you would. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, for many reasons. Uh, but it's just. Yeah, I love coffee. Um, I don't like the milk. Cutting peanut butter. It doesn't do it for me. Uh, to me, it just makes me phlegmy.
>> Jesse Turkington: Um, yeah, I can understand that. Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. But I. Yeah. Four oreos at minimum. Four oreos, no more than six. If you get more than six, it's too much sugar. >> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, there's probably some health person out there that's like, do you ate. You ate four? Um. Um, but, like, yeah, four to six is like, the butter zone. >> Jesse Turkington: Um, um, it's kind of that same idea of, of
like drinking the leftover milk from cereal. Right. Like a good cereal. >> Hunter Hoover: Yes. Uh, uh, uh, I, boy. Sorry, Jesse, we're deviating from bathroom, but that's fine. This show often does. Um, um, so the other thing that's kind of deviant that I do with, with milk is I put it on cake. >> Jesse Turkington: Excuse me? >> Hunter Hoover: Cake. So you get, like a slice of cake.
>> Jesse Turkington: Yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: My preferred way of eating cake is with no frosting. And just top it with just a little bit of white milk. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, my gosh. >> Hunter Hoover: Um, yeah, and then, and then it's kind of, it kind of gets really soft, and by the end, it's kind of like milk mush, but it's, it cuts the sweet a little bit. Um, yeah, I'm not a fan of frostings. >> Jesse Turkington: Of frosting? No, I'm, um,
it's a little too, yeah. I don't know. >> Hunter Hoover: I used to, I used to give my father such grief because when I was a kid, he would scrape every piece of cake that was ever put in front of him, and just the pile of frosting would be on the side of his plate. And I used to make fun of him, be like, dad, come on. It's not even that bad. And I do that now. I have become my father. And I, yeah, I just, I'm less fond of sweet as time goes on. And so I look
for that bitter, uh, thing to mute it. Um, but the other is, if, Jesse, if you ever look into, level up your cereal. >> Jesse Turkington: Mm hmm. >> Hunter Hoover: You, peanut butter the inside of the bowl. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, my. >> Hunter Hoover: You spread peanut butter all over the inside of the bowl. And then you cereal, and then you milk and you just get like a little spoonful of peanut butter and cereal.
Oh, yeah. Now the, the dish job, like the washing of the dish after, you gotta let it soak because that peanut butter is gonna be foul in there. >> Jesse Turkington: But, yeah. >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, um, yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: What kind of cereal? >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, I've done it with most every type. It's better with, like, chocolate varieties. Personally, my favorite cereal to do it with is lucky charms because they're kind of, they're kind of already
kind of plain and little bit sweet. But then adding that peanut butter to them is just, it's just right. Um, um, wow. >> Jesse Turkington: That, yes. >> Hunter Hoover: And it works with, it works with fruit cereal too. It's like, it's kind of like a straw peanut butter and jelly situation with the fruit cereal. Um, cinnamon ones are weird, but it's perfectly fine if you, if you like peanut butter, on french toast. Cinnamon french toast. It's like that. Um, um, yeah,
Anna introduced that to me. Game changer. But, yeah, I'll, uh, uh, I'll try it. >> Jesse Turkington: I'll get, I'll get my fiance. We'll have a date. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Oh, little cereal. Little cereal. Evening. That's. Yeah, that'd be awesome. You'll have to tell her. Yeah. Uh, uh, by the way, there's gonna be, there's gonna be a podcast that comes out. You should know. >> Jesse Turkington: I sent her some perfect. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, my gosh, that's funny. That's
awesome. Well, cool. Do you have any parting bathroom wisdom to leave us with? Good, uh, advice? Bathroom knowledge? Anything you want to share. >> Jesse Turkington: Man? You know when you sit on a toilet for too long and your legs go asleep? >> Hunter Hoover: Yep. >> Jesse Turkington: So it's such a, uh, ah, tenuous situation because you got to be careful. You don't want to stomp because then your leg will just like reverb, reverberate with all the pins and needles and just.
It kind of make you lean against the counter for a second and kind of go, oh, no. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: But a way to help with your pins and needles in your legs after having haven't sit for too long is before you get up to stretch them out before you. So you're sitting on the toilet, your legs out extended, and just do that a couple times. Get some blood flow into them, and then carefully
stand up. Make sure you don't stub any toes because, man, you think it's numb, but. And, uh, then you slowly take two steps. Take two steps backward and, uh, you're good to go. That gets rid of it. >> Hunter Hoover: So this is awesome advice because one of the things that I complain about frequently on the show is I pretty much have that experience about three times a month, um, when I record.
And so I'm laughing because I can't think of a funnier visual than somebody on the toilet with their legs straight. >> Jesse Turkington: Out in front of them. I, uh, mean, I understand you might, depending on the bathroom setup, you might not be able to do that. I just was house sitting for a friend the other day, and their toilet was right in front of their sink and there was no leg room except to sit down. So if you can't do it, sometimes you got to turn to the side of the toilet. Or the
idea, I guess you don't have to do those steps. The idea is to just get blood flow in your legs with the blood moving before you. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. >> Jesse Turkington: Because you can't. I mean, man, I'll tell you, there's been times I tried to take a few steps. You just can't. It just hurts. And you just let the pins and needles take over for a second. >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. Yeah, I, uh, uh, I'm going to be putting some of these methods to use because
I just. My butt goes numb, just to be frank. It's like, really? I gotta get. I gotta get a better seat. >> Jesse Turkington: Hunter, I would. So I worked my first legit job. I was a foreman at a blueberry farm, and, uh, the farmer was a snowbird. So every winter, he would go to Arizona. I would take care of his house. I would just live in it for him all winter. And that man had a. A special toilet seat that was padded. It was a padded toilet seat. It was the most incredible thing. I don't
know. Little confession time. I sat on that thing for. For way too long, way too many times. But it did alleviate. It did alleviate a lot of the butt numbing stuff. >> Hunter Hoover: I might have to look into that, because this, this, uh, this project's about four years in, and, um, I. The numbing does not seem to. I'm not building up a tolerance, is what I'm learning. Well, very
good. That's sound wisdom. Uh, uh, before I do the parting things, Jesse, can you go ahead and plug parables things again for us, for the listener? >> Jesse Turkington: Sure. So, um, the nonprofit is called Parable ministries. We have, uh, three podcasts out that is available anywhere right now. Uh, one is called pickled parables. It's a Bible teaching podcast where we partner with several different bible
teachers. They teach on a rotating basis. Uh, our other podcast is called my dusty Bible, and it's a Bible reading podcast. I read through the Bible in the new living translation. Each episode is just a full book. And we just launched a, uh, third podcast called commentaries that is hosted by your one and only hunter Hoover. And he goes paragraph by paragraph through the books of the Bible, starting in the book of James.
So those are the three podcasts, uh, available anywhere, um, that you like to listen to. Podcasts. Uh, we're working on getting them all up to date on YouTube. Uh, we have some on YouTube, but I. We don't have the full backlog yet. If you're interested in following along, um, just with news and what we're doing, you give us a follow on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok at Parable ministries. And if you would like to reach out just to chat, you
can always reach out to me. My email address is jessyparableministries.com. and, uh, chat. I mean, we could talk about questions for a podcast or we could just chat about anything really. Uh, I'm um, down for that. >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, yeah. And I'll be putting links uh, in the stuff down below. And so if you, if you hear Jesse say that and you're like, ah, I can't remember what you can, it'll be down below. They can click those m but yeah, we're uh, I'm excited to be a part
of what parable is doing. It's been, it's been a good um, experience for me, but also just opportunity to kind of, kind of jump in with that. So um, um, but yeah, Jesse, thank you for being here. >> Jesse Turkington: Oh, it was my pleasure. Absolutely.
>> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to close out the show. I tell people whenever I do the outro, uh, things, I always feel like uh, if you, if you've ever seen a dog taking a poop in the backyard, I always feel like that dog because like it knows that it's being watched, but you can't like what it's going to just, it's got to do it. Um, and so that's me whenever I close the show with a guest. So I'm going to close the show. Thank uh, you all for
listening. Uh, as always, leave us a rating review. Uh, we prefer the five star option, but we understand. Um, you can follow us at privycast. Send us an email privycastmail.com dot. We'd love to hear from you. Um, yeah, go check us out online. Uh, privy dash cast.com dot. And uh, yeah, thank you to Kevin and Poddington for the use of their music this week. This has been another episode of Privy. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you,
Jesse, again, for being here. Um, and now, as always, don't forget to flush. And then the part that I always edit out that I just crammed the microphone right back here. Mhm.