Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
What a wild idea. Aren't you glad that we put a blankie on the poor guy before we just decided to whack him with sticks in order to make him dumparoo himself, thus resulting in us getting toys? Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded here in my home bathroom. Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you are having uh a wonderful holiday and I hope this episode finds you well in whatever way you are celebrating the holiday cheer this year. I hope this episode finds you and yours well.
Merry Christmas. And many of you just got a big sack full of goodies from the big man up north, Jeff Bezos. Nope, he's dumb and looks distinctly like a supervillain. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that, but no. Pooh-pooh to you, Jeffo. uh Santa Claus. Or you may be spending time with friends and family, sitting around sharing stories from the year, ah sharing gifts and showing how much you care for one another. Whether by gift giving or company spending.
um Yeah, everyone's got different holiday traditions. you know, when I was growing up, I grew up kind of not really in the middle of nowhere in Montana, but like my friend group and where I went to high school was pretty far out there. And so a lot of times on Christmas, the only option that we had for like things to do, you know, we did the family opening presents. And for the longest time, I never really opened presents on Christmas because my dad was in the military.
But yeah, we would go to Christmas at my grandfather's. We would spend time with family there. But then once that was done in the evening, you're out of school on Christmas break and in a small town, there's not much to do. And so we would always just go get McDonald's way late and go to the movies because that was pretty much the only things that were open. And as I get older and I began to stay home and I ate leftovers and we would just eat like small snack foods.
And it's just kind of like one of those fun Christmas traditions that the day always feels weird. And I think it's because it's a break from your scheduled and pattern norms that you're used to, but it's a good thing. Of course, growing up, we would leave the house for Christmas Eve services and Santa Claus always knew that we were going on Christmas Eve services and I don't know how...
No, um, hey, I'm recor... my it's it's Santa Santa hi Santa why don't you why don't you stay a bit just wanted to stop and say... Oh yeah, you're probably tired from a night full of delivering gifts. Well, thanks for stopping by and yeah, I hope you have a safe trip home. that dang Rudolph. uh I hope, you know. Yeah, I get it. Alright, alright. Merry Christmas, Santa. Wow what a treat. To be visited by Santa here in my home bathroom. I'm not sure if I should be concerned. But yeah.
Christmas traditions differ for everyone. imagine Santa's traditions differ. And there are different traditions that transcend different cultures. This week on Privy, we're looking at one of those cultures. And we're here to talk about the Catalonian Christmas. If you're like me and you heard the word or the term Catalonia, you probably had no idea where that was at.
I have never heard of this and for the longest time, before actually officially sitting down and looking it up, I thought that maybe it was kind of a Wakanda forever type thing where it's this fake place that seems so well named that it could be real. But yeah, Catalonia is real place. It's a region of Spain in the northeast corner of the country. actually Catalonia is an official nationality of Spain as per their statute of autonomy granted in 2006.
And the region that carries Catalonian influence is most of the eastern coast of Spain and some of the islands off of the eastern coast of Spain. Catalonia actually contains four provinces inside it, one of which includes Barcelona. It exists on the border with France, which I'm a... I might just have like a limited view of the world, but like I did not realize that Spain and France had a border, so that's interesting.
But it shares a border with France and during the Spanish-French War, remember, this is pretty, we can't just dive straight into Catalonian Christmas. We gotta get some of the background. So during the Spanish-French War, during that time, it was around the 1600s, the region was under French control and it was conquered by Spain after and during this time. And it being on the border of Spain and France has meant it has kind of gone through kind of a tug of war of sorts.
When they ended up part of Spain's were a part of Spain's world. The 18th century um struggle continued, but it also brought economic growth for the region. In the 19th and 20th centuries in Catalonia, they played a game of sovereign body, not sovereign body, as their rights and recognition were granted and then removed and granted and then removed, much like Michael Scott's vasectomy, snip, snap, snip, snap.
Beginning in the 2010s, however, that's quite a jump, but I'm trying to give you just like a quick political snapshot and it'll be important here in a second. But beginning in the 2010s, has been an ever increasing call for Catalan or Catalonian, if you will. It's the same. It's just a different way of saying independence. I've seen this word written and I always thought it was just like a misspelling for settlers of Catan, Catalonian, Catan.
ah So I'm ignorant and I don't know why, but it's kind of weird to think of some of these countries in our lifetime. who are like actively seeking independence. Like it makes sense. Like somebody, you know, if you want independence, you gotta go seek it at some point. But I guess it's just strange to me to think that, I guess grass is always greener. You know, I bet it was weird for, you know, France and Germany and all them when America was seeking independence 200 or whatever years ago.
And they were like, would y'all just, alright, you can have it. It's kinda like when you see your teacher, or a student in the grocery store and you both know and know about the things that go on at school but like nobody really wants to talk about that. That's kind of how I feel about this like country seeking independence today.
Like the people they seek independence from they're like hey we kind of know how this is shaken out in the past for other people but we're still gonna go through the motions here. Things ultimately came to a head for Catalonian independence.
ah in 2017 when the Catalonian government just declared independence and in response to this the Spanish Senate voted to enforce direct rule removed the Catalan government and held an impromptu regional election members of the government were actually imprisoned during this time charged with misuse of public funds and many other uh government officials fled to other European countries That was like four years ago. That's not that long ago.
Catalonia has long been a region of struggle and in my brief three to five minute like super snapshot of history for Catalonia, I hope I have laid that out. It's been a place of struggle and uprising and sticking it to the authorities and powers that would be. It's a complex place. Who knew? In fact, a lot of their language, uh it almost seems to be like borrowing from it.
It's definitely more heavily Spanish sounding, but it's completely unique Catalonian or Catalan and it almost like is Spanish if it was like forced to be French at the same time. It's super weird. It's not that big of a place. It's weather and geography though are vastly, vastly different. It's mountainous in Hilly in the West and coastal and Mediterranean in the East. About two thirds of the population of Catalonia identify as Christian and Catholic specifically.
And you might be thinking, oh great, here we go, Hunter's going off about religions again. Like, we get it, you're a nerd for this stuff. But like, We're here to talk about bathrooms. Do you remember the beginning of the show where you said this is a podcast about bathrooms? There's enough podcasts about religions. no, no, it's going to be important. I promise. What in the heck? Calm down. I promise we'll get to the bathrooms. I promise.
Which is constantly when I tell myself after I've eaten too much cheese or if I just eat a normal human amount of Taco Bell. Catalonia is cool. This is the holidays. So we can't just talk about Catalonia and we definitely can't just talk about bathrooms, although we will. We also have to talk about Christmas. Catalans or the people of Catalonia and also forgive my ignorant American English mind, but if I'm saying any of these words wrong, you know me. It cannot be helped.
I've Googled and looked up pronunciations and it just The little like weird oomlots on the letters don't help me. I'm unhelpable in that way. Catalan celebrate Christmas essentially for three days. One on Christmas Eve, which is a day for preparation. ah And then the actual Christmas day. And then the third is actually St. Stephen's Day. ah Is the faint, is the, the. feast day of Saint Stephen to commemorate Saint Stephen, martyr, the first Christian martyr.
ah And this is celebrated on December 26th. ah Yeah. if you ever like Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen, like they were celebrating the feast of Stephen in that song. It's the day after Christmas. This allows again, this three day celebration allows for more time to be spent with families and friends around the Christmas holidays. But we're here to talk about cattle and Christmas.
And one of the most prominent and long-standing cattle and Christmas traditions is the Christmas log. And no, I know what you're thinking, and I know how often I've made the euphemism and joke about log on the podcast. But we're not talking about that type of log yet. No. The Catalan Christmas log is often called the Teo de Nadal or in Catalonia has become just shorthand known as the Teo.
Teo is a character in Catalan mythology related to the Christmas tradition and he has also come to be known as the Cagatio, the pooping log. yeah, there we go. We made it. We're home now. Welcome to privy. It only took us a few minutes, but now we're now we're talking about poop. We did it. The legend has it that the Tio began as a remembrance of the warmth and gifts of the season. This is going to be fun in just a second.
It was a fresh log, actual literal piece of wooden log, not the dooky type. that has been brought in by the adults on the night of winter solstice. The families wanting to show their thanks and appreciation gave the log his own blanket and then the next morning they tossed the rest of the log into the fire. This then is them thanking for warmth and provision for the season.
Now, this is where this tradition comes from, but nowadays Teos are traditionally smaller logs, with cheery and fun faces drawn or painted on them, sometimes yearly by the people who are celebrating within the household. On the night of Christmas Eve or Christmas night itself, Teo is set up in front of the fireplace, and kids arrange blankets and other things around the log to keep him warm. It's right in front of the fire. It's...
Probably not the wisest idea to put a blanket this close to an open fire But I digress You you set up the blanket you make Tio feel comfortable and that's gonna be important here in just a moment I I will give you a big red alert about when it becomes important that you made Tio feel comfortable Much like the leaving of cookies for Santa. dang it. I forgot to offer Santa cookies when he was here He probably ate him.
And much like the leaving of cookies for Santa, an offering of treats and goodies is left at the mouth of Tio the log. Then the children go to bed, and in the morning the treats have been eaten, quote, eaten by the log. He's full. He's slam full of nougat, bud. He ate so much gosh dang nougat that he ain't got no place to put it now. Or does he? because he's still wrapped in that blanket.
Then kids take turns beating the crap out of the log under the blanket in order to quote, make him poop and produce the goodies and gifts of the year. Now these goodies and gifts, is presumed by non-Caddle and Christmas, TO believers if you will, that these gifts are placed under the blanket by parents the night before. We all know that that's just big big Santa trying to just push Tio's little limelight out here.
Tio poops these gifts out because they literally, these children literally beat the holiday cheer out of Tio until he defecates under the blanket in the form of prizes and goodies and sweets and toys. Apparently Tio's defecate small trinkets. And that's just interesting. Nowadays Tio's pass much bigger logs in Catalonian Christmas tradition in the shape of toys, cakes and all other goodies. But remember, Tio doesn't poop unless you beat the gifts out of him. What a wild idea.
Aren't you glad that we put a blankie on the poor guy before we just decided to whack him with sticks in order to make him dumparoo himself, thus resulting in us getting toys? Like a log you have to beat up until he relieves himself to receive your Christmas gifts. Merry Christmas, little Dougie. Here's the beating stick. Go assault your Christmas T.O. decoration until he craps himself with your gift. Merry Christmas. little Dougie.
And then, as if that's not awful enough, you throw T.O. into the fire when you're done. Thank you for the gifts, T.O. Now we burn you. The old tradition was to keep the ashes of the teo in the home for protection and good luck for the year. Someone refill my eggnog. They draw a face on and blanket and feed a log. And then after a firm beating they burn it. Hey yo. Like. What? These Catalonians are wild, man. Nowadays TOs are kind of trinkety and tourists like to take pictures of them.
The Christmas log that poops. But that isn't the only bathroom related Catalan tradition. Because in Catalonia, there is a practice that's supposed to welcome good luck for the following year. The Caganet, which is literally translated the pooper. It is a small figurine, usually of a young peasant with the cattle and hat on his head. These figurines are special. The Cagney. Caginets are often a small figurine, usually of a young peasant with a catalan hat. These figurines are special.
The caginet is positioned as if he is squatting and taking a dump. You can see his porcelain cheekies chilling in the cool Christmas air. Fresh, stiff breeze hits those bear rumpulus. Freshly laid pile of porcelain poo. beneath the crevasse of his hole. Catalonia is so great. They got pooping logs, and pooping figurines. What a place. But the Cagney attracts a very, a different, very specific type of attention than the Tio. Tio's safe. Tio's just a fun log.
You beat him with a stick, he poops treats. It's great. But there are folks who take offense at the Caginay. Probably because they don't understand it. Not because his butt crack is visible, or because you can see his fresh leavings. No. Some other cultures have actually written and put on the internet without doing any reading. It seems. They're mad? Because the Caginay... is often placed amongst the other members of the nativity scene.
In Catalonian culture, it seems placing the Caganay amongst the nativity scene is not an act of disrespect at all. It's actually just tradition. And from what I can find as a non-Catalonian person who is white and ignorant and just doing my best to try to figure this out and not appropriate anything, searching the internet and doing my fair share of reading, they place the Caganay there To one, note the lowly birth of the Christ child.
And two, ground the nativity scene in reality to say this is a real event. People poop. Jesus was born. And three, it likely is an old fashioned symbol of fertility, which is related to the fact that Mary is giving birth. I will also note. There's this notion of almost like, you were ballsy enough to stick a pooping boy in your nativity so you get good luck next year. There is that underpinning notion of the thing, but I like the idea of it just being an homage to the lowly birth of Jesus.
Because the reality is, he was born in a manger where the animals lived. There was already poop there. The Cagney is an in-your-face reminder of that. I really don't think most Catalans seek to be disrespectful in this, in their depiction with the Caganay. Because as we mentioned earlier, and I told you it would be important, there are people of struggle. A majority of Catalonia identifies themselves as Catholic or Christian.
Most of them have nativities, most, if not, I don't know, most, but it is a tradition to put these Caganays in the scene as part of the culture. It's not social commentary, it's just part of their culture. It should be noted that often the nativity scenes in this region depict more than just the walls of the stables and can often include the city of Bethlehem as a whole or even the neighboring areas.
It's noted they usually tuck the Cagney into the corner of the entire scene and it actually kind of serves as a game for some people, for the kids to see who can find the Cagney. hidden amongst the scene. It's like a weird Where's Waldo, but instead of finding a man in a funny candy cane striped suit, you're looking for a little boy taking a deuce. Actually, you could do a pretty fun adult, like, where's Waldo, but with a person mooning you in the crowd. uh There's an idea.
Actually, there's probably a market for large frame photos. This would be wild. Of sporting events and stuff, where people have mooned the camera, and they just stick the actual photo, and then they put it in these like, I spy books you have to find the guy who's mooning the cameraman that could actually be kind of fun The Cagney is a guest to the Nativity and to me it says this, Jesus was born even for the folks who were taken a dump out back. That might be crass, but it's theologically sound.
And keep in mind, this likely makes the Nativity more accurate, as back then it would have been uncommon to go to the bathroom outside in the street or outside the city somewhere anyway. Some people claim the Cagney is an homage to an ancient symbol of fertility and that the Teo is an homage to an ancient way of communicating with ancestors. Now there's an idea, why are you hitting him with a stick then? But here's the thing, our celebrations and our traditions are what we make them about.
And for me, as I take time to celebrate and remember the birth of Jesus this Christmas, or as Charlie Brown and the gang would say the real meaning of Christmas. The idea of a log that poops gifts and a boy pooping in the back of the nativity can help us focus on the lowly birth of the savor you bet. The Catalans know how to have a Christmas celebration that gives bathrooming and the things that go on in the bathrooming a proper spot. Thank you, Catalonia. Catalan Christmas.
Y'all have given me such just uh a absolute splendor of a treat because the other thing about these Cagney's is They got all sorts of varieties of them. Like they make them in like cartoon characters and political figures and now they're more of like a trinket. And I don't know if this is appropriation but here's what I'd say. You got. What an interesting thing to be able to put just a a pooping president somewhere up as Christmas decoration. What a world. Thanks Catalonia.
As we close out the year here on Privy and we look to ring in 2022, there's going to be uh some weigh-ins that happen. If you feel motivated and you want to email me your journey on this, I would challenge y'all, and there's going to be a little science experiment that happens, but weigh yourself before and after your poop and just keep track of how much it weighed. It might not be a bad way to track data.
We having this conversation the other day, my buddies and I, about like, could you weigh yourself before you go to the bathroom and then drop a fatty and then weigh yourself after to tell how heavy the fatty was? Like, would it be accurate? It should be. If there's a challenge issue, this. ah Another challenge that was issued the same night by uh one of the same dudes is this idea that you eat at least five Taco Bell burritos. I think he said 10, but like that's unreal.
ah I don't think that's humanly, it's humanly possible, but I don't think it's humanly safe to eat 10 of Taco Bell anything in one sitting. But to eat five Taco Bell anythings and see who is the last person to go to the bathroom. oh I have digressed in such a big way. Thank you so much for listening. As always, we would love for you to follow the show. We're at privycast on social media. You can follow us there.
Check out our highlight videos and other informational bits that we're posting, as well as some pictures to give you some context for the things that we talk about. We would love for you to email us privycast at gmail.com. Feel free to send suggestions, comments. Episode ideas if you have any sort of goodies or if you would like or if you're interested in have a have a fun uh Bathroom related story to share with the show.
We'd love to not only share that story but have you on the show so uh Hit us up privycast at gmail.com Leave us a rating or review the five-star option is our preferred right now iTunes is the easiest way to do that But Spotify is supposed to be adding ratings soon is the word on the street. maybe in the new year stay tuned for that. But yeah, leave us a rating review. It helps people find the show. The five star option as we said is our preferred.
As always, we'd like to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of Barroom Ballet as our intro and outro music this week. You can find Kevin's music at incompetech.com and his music is licensed under Creative Commons license attribution 4.0. Thanks Kevin. The Christmas background sounds that you heard this week are also licensed under Creative Commons License Attribution 4.0. And thanks to Santa for stopping by. Santa, if you can hear this, Merry Christmas. And Merry Christmas to you, preview listener.
And now, as always, for the last time of 2021, don't forget to flush. is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free.
With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.