>> Speaker A: This is one of the downsides of democracy, is when we let the people choose. Sometimes the people don't choose how we think would be best. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom. I'm your host, host, Hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms. It's good to be back in what is hopefully a more regular and trying to keep it a little more fresh,
uh, recording wise. I admit I pre recorded quite a few, um, episodes as I was returning to school. And the season of fall, moving into the Christmas season, is busy at the church, and I had a few pre recorded, and those have expired with the end of spoop key season. I, um, hope you guys enjoyed that. But as we move into the end of the year here, uh, one of my goals for 2023 is to, uh, maybe just prioritize my time in such a way where I am able
to record it a little more fresh. So that way, you're not getting, like, two month old bathroom reports much late. So that said, recently, speaking of bathroom reports, I know we were speaking of it. Uh, recently, I found out firsthand, uh, what happens when you eat a four to eight month old frozen olive garden dinner. Um, so when we go to Olive Garden, my family and I, we are olive garden frequentees, um, if
you will. And one of the things that we do when we go to Olive Garden is we will regularly purchase a take home meal that we will then freeze for a lunch or a very simple to warm up meal later on in our lives. Well, my parents often, they put in these special orders, and they hook us up pretty sweet. But we had placed one of these a while back, like, probably February, um, at the time that you're hearing this, that
will be nine months ago. Uh, and so, in the bottom of our chest freezer, in our garage, sat one of these olive garden dinners, and me returning to the school. As I said, I will regularly walk out into the garage, pop open the chest freezer, and go rifling through there to see if I can find an olive garden dinner. Well, I did find this one, and it was at the very bottom. And I'm more than confident that this was placed in our freezer at the beginning of 2022, at the latest, late
2021. My heart and my gut tell me that this was probably in there about February. So that's what I'm going to operate on. That assumption. But anyway, I took this to the school, and I warmed it up, and I'll tell you what, it tasted delicious. The flavor was unabated, but the degree to which it ran through me. Um, it was very fast. Like we're talking, like, olympic sprinter speed, levels of fast moving through my bowels.
So, to that end, what I would share here, we're moving into a season of thankfulness, and I think that we're going to arrive back home, if you will, uh, for a sense of what privy is all about. And what I want to tell you is, if you are, uh, in the market for a laxative and you have eight to nine months to spare before you will need said laxative, it may be more cost effective to buy an olive garden dinner and freeze it for, let's say, four to eight months and then consume it in one
sitting. I know it's not a one serving situation. It's two, but one sitting. And I'm pretty confident that that $5, $6 take home is probably cheaper than a lot of laxatives. And I promise you, tested and verified, it will get the job done. In fact, I have another right, uh, at the top of the show here. I have another. Just what are we doing? Sometimes there's these moments, it's a hunter's anecdotes to keep you afloat.
There's a few moments in our lives where we're staring down at something and we're wondering, what are we doing? Do you know what I mean? There's often times where I'll make specific, less than adult choices, and I'm going, oh, man, this was a bad idea. Well, uh, to tell you this, to give you this hunter's anecdotes, we got to back up. And I promise this has to do with the bathroom. Oh, does it ever? But we have to back up to about, uh, early
September, mid September. And what happens in mid September, especially here in the Pacific Northwest, is there's this thing that I like to call pumpkin spice fever. Now, I'm not going to disparage any specific demographic of human being, but let's just say there is a specific demographic of, I don't know, whitish female that just kind of gravitates toward pumpkin spice. Now, I'm not going to pretend like I don't enjoy a pumpkin spiced
something or another. I do. The pumpkin pie kit kats that Kit Kat put out this year, shout out to those. I probably bought eight to ten bags of those. They're delicious.
So I'm not disparaging the pumpkin spice life, but what I am going to kind of make a comment on here, and this is not a take, because everybody's had this take, but that is the pumpkin spice thing is kind of getting out of hand, and this is kind of known, and everybody kind of has this in the back of their brain that they got pumpkin spice dog food, for goodness sakes. I guarantee you they have it. I don't know that they have it, but I guarantee you that they
do have it. That's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? So I'm on the Internet, and I am scrolling through and know they've got my number. These ads on Facebook got my number. And in the ad on, because they've heard me rant about this. And in the ad on Facebook pops up, pumpkin spice deodorant. Now, if you want to know which deodorant brand is, you can go putts around on the TikToks and
Instagrams for me. But let's just say, um, and this is important, but an all natural deodorant brand released a deodorant that was pumpkin spiced flavored. And I made a video just commenting, like, what are we even doing? Have we not gone too far? Well, this deodorant company, they responded and said, well, you should try it. Now, a normal person would read that and they would go, well, they want me to smear this on my underarms and get my snoot in there and smell it. But my Henry self read that
comment and went, oh, I'll try it. All right, friends. And so Mawa and I go to the target and look for this. First of all, the pumpkin spice variety was discontinued a mere month later. Um, right in the heart of pumpkin spice season as well. But whatever. To be replaced with vanilla, uh, toasted marshmallow. I don't know. I'm staring at this tube of deodorant from across the bathroom right now. Oh, also on the floor, little hunter's anecdotes. Within the
hunter's anecdotes here. But there's like a 40 pound bag of bath and bodyworks, soap and candles. So what we mount, my wife stocks up on bath and bodyworks, home goods and body and hand cleaning products for the year. Like, we're still working through last year's haul and bringing in this year's haul, I might add. So I digress. But this deodorant is out of stock. They don't make the pumpkin spice variety. And so I buy the toasted marshmallow vanilla. Now, again, it's deodorant.
And so I decide my honorary self is saying, oh, you want me to try it? Okay. And so one night, I just took a big bite of it, and I can report it's bad. Um, it. One does not taste like. It doesn't taste like marshmallows or vanilla. I can tell you that right now. It makes me wonder if the pumpkin spiced one would. I'm pretty confident I know the answer to that. But what it did taste like was just pure awfulness, and the texture of, like, three day old sat out mashed, uh, potatoes. Absolutely
heinous. But the worst part was, is it kind of, like, smashed? And then also simultaneously began to dissolve in my mouth. And so I know I swallowed some of it, but the problem with that was, I work at a public high school. So the next day, and the nature of my job is, the reality is if I have to go to the bathroom, I may have to hold my bathrooming one to 5 hours, depending on the honoriness of the students children I work with. And so this day was one of those,
oh, we're not going to get to the bathroom immediately. But unfortunately, my innards had been polluted by this deodorant, and they are just screaming to be released. Uh, and so what we've learned from the end, little takeaway for you at the end of this hunter's anecdote is two things will get your insides moving to a degree that you maybe didn't want. The first is four to eight month old olive garden meals. Um, and the second is biting and accidentally swallowing some portions of deodorant.
Also, um, because I'm. I don't know what the word is, we're going to say deranged. Um, I also took a video of the sounds that this post deodorant deuce made. Again, it's mostly to just, like, snapchat buddies and make them have to watch it. Uh, but two funny things came from this. The first is, I sent this to my friend, uh, and hopefully soon to be friend of the show, Chris Luckman. Shout out, Chris. And I sent it to him under the pretext that I was texting
him. Well, I received a text back saying, hey, I have Chris's phone. What this means is that Chris's lovely wife, Roxanne had his phone and just received a video of me taking a crap. Now, I didn't make her open it. She opened it, much to her own horror, as it's just audio of me ripping a beefer. And so I then talked m my wife
into watching this video. Having heard the audio, my wife begins to gag to the point of almost throwing up simply by hearing the heinous things that come out of my rear it's true love uh, this has been hunter's anecdotes to keep you afloat. It is election season by the time you're hearing this episode. The elections should be done as long as all these states that figure, uh, out how to do
math have finished their counting. And we're not here to talk about whether or not your state's election results came in the way you wanted. Mostly because I don't think I have the emotional stability to do that. But hopefully, if you're 18 and, uh, up, hopefully you voted because, and I'm on record saying this, if you're 18 and, uh, up and you didn't vote, you can't complain like it's your fault. Whatever happened, you have no say in it. You forfeited your right to vote. And so you don't get to
complain. You get to shut up about everything political for the next however many years because you chose not to exercise your right. But also, we live in America. If you do not live in America, um, and maybe don't have as much say, I'm sorry, but I'm here, and we just had a lot of very important elections, and so it's on my mind. But we need to discuss democracy because it's such a special thing, the people getting to choose and have a voice.
It's a pretty good idea. I'm pretty sure it goes back to the ancient Greeks where they had the forums and all that, you know, they discussed and they voted on different things. And it's good because it allows people to take ownership and interest in their own society and having those interactions and putting their voice out there in America by way of voting for people who will later vote for you. The whole representatives thing. Like, I'm not a government teacher, I don't understand
all that. But I do understand that I'm represented in Congress, and to my knowledge, I'm not actually represented. Do you know what I'm saying? And representation. Wait, no. Taxation without representation is theft. Just let that marinate for you. Uh, but one of the downsides of democracy. Oh, boy, here we go. Here comes Hunter's dangerous ideas. But one of the downsides of democracy is sometimes the person or the thing that you wanted to pass in vote or win in vote.
Sometimes that thing doesn't win, and then you're left with the fallout of coming to terms with that. And so many of you, this comes out about five days after most of these election results will have been passed. And so, hopefully, you have come to grips with whatever hellscape exists now, uh, with all this. But this is one of the downsides of democracy, is when we let the people choose. Sometimes the people don't choose how we think would
be best. Or in many cases, and in the case we're going to discuss today, sometimes they choose in a way that's just so beyond comprehension. Um, there's been a lot of voting going on, and I told you we weren't going to discuss election results. But we do need to discuss one specific election result, and that is the America's best restroom 2022. Back in August, um, there was a
really important election going on online. Uh, you could vote once per day for your favorite bathroom out of America's best restrooms for the year 2022 of our lord. And hopefully you voted, because if you didn't, it's too late. Now, they are taking nominations for bathrooms for 2023. So if you know of or have a rad public bathroom, might not be a bad idea to nominate that. Um, now, this year's America's
best restroom is. It sets a frustrating precedent, but it also comes with me just scratching my head like some sort of grape ape, trying to figure out what in the flipping heck happened this year. What happened? Did we all just take a month long nap? Like, could we not just hit enter and didn't tell everybody? Or was this all a big ruse? Do you see what I'm saying? So what I'm getting at here
is this. Voting went live back in August, and we covered most of these bathrooms in our coverage, yearly coverage of the America's best restroom competition. And back in September, I kind of tipped my hat in this competition, maybe a little too much. I put my opinion out there that I was really hoping for the number five bistro and bar out of sedalia, Missouri, to win it. That was my vote. Um, I think I placed a couple votes for a couple others, but mostly pretty
much every day. I voted for number five bistro and bar. Um, if anybody from number five bistro and bar, if for some reason hears this, I really liked your bathroom. I thought it was rad. You get the privy cast. Very rad. Toilet of 2022 approval. It's not a real thing, and it doesn't come with any sort of prize like Cynthus's competition. But I want you to know in your hearts, I loved your bathroom. Anyway, we are here to celebrate the winner here on
privy. But to do so, we need to discuss something, because when voting went down in August, uh, it was announced that the winner would be announced the following month. Now, for those of you who are not using the julian calendar, the month of September follows the month of August. And by this logic, they would have 30 calendar days to release this information if it's coming out next month. Now, the results of this competition did not come out in the month of September, which is fine.
I'm not, like, one of these people that's like, um, September 31. If it doesn't come out, I'm going to. No, I definitely bothered the Cindis corporation. I might have sent them some messages and stuff saying, hey, when we get in these results, they didn't answer, um, go figure. But the results eventually came out sometime mid October. But my question is this, why the heck did it take so long? Because these were all digital votes. Like, you click on the thing and
it puts your vote. I assume they have some sort of, like, weird spreadsheet, so why not just go to the bottom and just type in a formula that calculates this? I feel like this vote count should have taken one day, not one month, let alone almost 50 days. So I think there's something weird going on here. Um, I'm not saying that the Cintus corporation owes us an explanation, because God knows they probably even listen to this anyway, but I would like one. Um, I'll formally ask for
one. They don't owe it to me, but I will ask for it. So, like, cintus, can we get an explanation? What took so long to count these votes? And was there some shady dealings? Because here's my problem. So I want to announce now, officially, and this is not to dogpile them, we want to celebrate their victory. But the Tampa International airport, specifically concourse, areaside concourse sea restrooms, won the America's best restroom 2022 award.
Now, Tampa International Airport, specifically their airside sea restrooms, edged out the competition, but Cintus didn't release any numbers. They didn't say, like, oh, yeah, Tampa International Airport won by a landslide. Like, 100,000. Next person up had, like, 10,000. We have no idea. Also, it took forever for these votes to be counted, so who knows how many hoodly poodly happened on these votes? Get some stank on that vote. You know what I'm saying? But we want to celebrate the
winner. Uh, so we need to note that the Tampa International Airport won a restroom cleaning service and $2,500 in restroom cleaning products. Now, I want to note to Tampa International Airport's credit, they report that they are going to donate the service to folks impacted by hurricane ian. Now, that's awesome. That's a super cool thing to do. Um, they are in that community. Their community was definitely impacted by Ian.
Uh, and so good on you. Now, that $2,500 of cleaning supplies will be great to aid in that. But it's kind of up to them whether or not they honor the cleaning services thing. What is this? Industrial cleaning services. Unless they donate it to other businesses. I don't know. To me, it's like, I would like to see Tampa International Airport just give a whole bunch of relief money instead of this.
But they may be doing that. I don't know. This isn't about Tampa International Airport's humanitarian relief efforts. This is about them winning America's best. Uh, and I think it's because I'm a glass half empty. There's probably a crack in my glass, if we're all being honest about it. Hey, that could be the name of, like, if I ever wrote the most boring memoir in the universe, there's probably a crack in my glass. Not a bad title. Um, but they won for their terminal c bathrooms.
That's the bathrooms they won for. And I wonder, and I need to get down to Tampa's international airports, you know, because I want to know, are they, like, touting that their bathrooms in general won this? Because they should be very clear. Airside, concourse. Sea bathrooms won this prize. Not all of them, just those. And that would be some gall like, thanks, cintus. Let's slap a plaque on every bathroom in the airport. No. Also, at the time of researching and
making sure that all my ducks were in order. When we get the power of the Internet, let's just look right now. Um, Tampa International Airport had not put anything on their website as, like, oh, yeah, we won this prestigious award. Um, which makes me question how much they even care. And if they don't care that much, how in the freaking heck did they win? You know what I'm saying? The bathrooms that won are very nice. They are.
I'm not arguing that these are bad bathrooms. What I'm saying is, are they the best restrooms? I'm going to read this next bit verbatim. This is pulled from, uh, the Cintus corporation's America's best restroom 2022 website. It says, the Tampa International Airport's airside sea showcases new high design, spacious restrooms coupled with quality craftsmanship and an inviting yet durable material palette. Now, what? I'm sure that means something to somebody, but an inviting yet durable material
palette? Does that just mean the countertops don't wear down after gross. Dougie sprays hand sanitizer all over. Yeah. The entrance welcomes travelers to their uniquely Florida experience. Now, I've seen this entrance. It's one of these gender neutral entrances where it's like, which one you gonna take? Um, I will say, having used one of these restrooms in Seattle, even natural like, people who seem like they were there and live there,
they hesitated a moment. When you and know teenage girl are walking towards the same bathroom entrance, it is just kind of uncomfortable. But that's how they've got these things laid out. It boasts, quote, large graphics in a natural deep blue stone. The undulating veining. Oh, golly. Tampa International. Golly. Undulating veining. Oh, my gosh. Is reminiscent of. Why vein? Do you know what I'm saying? How many things do you know of that have veins? Hulking strongman necks. Your arms prior
to. Anyway, we have to move on. Um, of waves crashing along the shore. Once inside, large format tiles skin the floors. What the heck? Can I say that the verbiage that they've picked on this bee have just been wild. Seamlessly fold up the walls, bolstering the welllit environment and furthering a, quote, freshly cleaned aesthetic. A, ah, wood look. Wall tile adds warmth and softness for a balanced, resortlike feel. It's an airport, friends. It's an airport. The luxury feel is bolstered by
high res images. I hope so. It's not hard to get a high res image of quintessential Florida flora back. Printed on floor to ceiling sheets of impact resistant glass, ensuring its beauty for your skin. They have big, fancy posters behind fancy glass. That's what that sentence said. The clean, contemporary aesthetic is completed by light colored, solid surface vanities, which incorporate TPA's signature cockpit concept. This, quote, cockpit.
Cockpit provides guests with their own sensor activating sink and soap, personal paper towel dispensers, and trash receptacle, all within arm's reach. So each sink has its own things there. Cool. We're really putting the adjectives to work in there, aren't we? Uh, so I want to do Tampa International Airport justice, because they did win, and maybe they're worth looking at. So we need to look at this. So, a little history on
the Tampa International Airport. So, the first Tampa airport was built in 1952, and within ten years of its opening, it had served about 1 million passengers a year. So, so much so that talk of a building, a new building, began even within ten years later. A tram. And planned for a tram to transport people
landside to airside. Section. So they would have a place where it's like landslide, where you'd park, and then the tram would transport you across to the airside section where you would board your plane and be airside. Um, these airport shuttles were the first of their kind. They were originally used in the Tampa International Airport in 1969. Construction began anyway two years later, and the new airport officially opened in April. A cutting edge FFA
federal flyer association. We're going to go with that control tower was installed the following year and was the highest air control tower in the nation at the time. That same year, they served their 4,000,000th passenger in a year. The airport underwent similar changes as others. International flights expansions increased use, and in 1993, the airport was rated the best airport in the United States. And by Cond Nast magazine, they held a public art project in display in
1999. And by this time, they were averaging about 15 million passengers a year. They won best airport again four years later in 2003. In 2005, Airside C opened, which was the first to be built and finished since 911. Now, this would house Southwest Airlines flights, and it is the place where the bathroom that won America's best restroom lives. Tampa International Airport was voted best in the US in 2008 by travel and leisure. And
that's the end of the notable things we need to cover. They don't even mention winning best restroom. That's pretty cool that those trams, you know those trams when you get on, it's like the ones at, like, the people movers, they came up with that for Tampa International. That's kind of like. Yeah, anyway, it's pretty neat. Tampa International Airport has some. Okay. History, you know what I'm saying? Uh, who
knew? Congrats, Tampa. Um, I don't know if I can bring myself to say that you deserve to win, but you did win. And much like someone always has to do in democracy, I come to terms with it and I accept it. Congratulations, Tampa international airport. You have won America's best restroom 2022. And this is a reminder that you can go on the America's best restroom website and nominate a bathroom for the 2023 competition. Stay tuned for our coverage. Thank
you guys so much for listening. Sorry that it took so long to, um, cover this year's winner. I know you were, uh, waiting on pins and needles for that one. Again, not my fault. Uh, if someone from the cintus corporation would like to talk with me, uh, maybe we can get to the bottom of what happened. I'd love to know more about your competition and your company and all those things. Feel free to, uh, hit me up. Yeah, right. Um, as always, you can follow the show at
privycast on all social media. You can follow me. I'm at owl at seven on pretty much all social media. I got some nonsense going on. You can send us an email, comments, episode suggestions, advice. Do you need advice? Do you need me to help you wipe your butt? Do you need me to give you advice, uh, on how to maneuver your loofah? Would you like me to weigh in on the appropriate method by which you would soap yourself? Your hands? Shoot. My bad. Send us an email,
privycast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. It helps build that community. Um, I want to back up and say something about social. We're on Reddit. You can rprivycast, um, that's out there. Feel free to. If you have bathroom things, feel free to post to that community. Rprivycast, um, it exists now. We're looking for ways in the new year to try to build this community a little bit. We'll see what that has in store. We would love for you to leave us a rating. Uh, Spotify
is probably the easiest. You just five star options are preferred and what that does is it helps people find the show. If you have a little bit of extra time and would like to leave us a full review on Apple Podcasts, uh, the five star options are preferred. And say hi in there. Um, if you get something from this show, those review sections of Apple Podcasts is a good place to put that. It's greatly appreciated and we will read some of those on the show as they come
in. Not a lot of ratings, I'm not going to lie, so feel free to hit those up. Would love to see those. Would greatly appreciate it. The links to music and sources for information are in the episode description. Thank you to Kevin McLeod and Pottington Bear for the use of music. This has been another episode of Privy. Thank you so much for joining us. And now, as always, don't forget to flush.