>> Speaker A: Did he quit because Santa made him scrub his butthole? That would make me want to be a dentist. I don't really like dentists, but, like, if Santa was, like, scrub it, that would probably be dentist. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded for my home bathroom. I'm your host, hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
and we're back in studio, and the day of this episode's release, it is Christmas day, and perhaps you have just, freshly ripped open a brand new something. Or know, I don't really know what the hot toy this year is. furby, I think back, furby's always. He never really goes. Know, he's ever present. I feel like Furby is that toy that in 40 years, I think they make the modern day furbies off the carcasses of the furby's of the 90s, because I don't
think you can ever really destroy a furby. I think it's indestructible. but happy privy Christmas. and this episode will actually be, our end of the year. so it is the close out of 2023, and our close out of privy Christmas, 2023. so thank you guys so much for being a part of the show and listening. yeah, just love being able to put this out there, share some bathroom knowledge and wisdom, and hear from
folks. but something that this year, I'm hoping that we can get to, because in years past, we've had some trouble finally getting to, this list. And truly, last year, we began the show, and what we want to try to do this week is we want to try to lock down the top ten privy Christmas treats. Now, this is an endeavor that we enlightened upon last year. and listeners may remember that we were, I'm going to say rudely, but I've already got my gifts for the year, so sorry,
Santa. but we were rudely interrupted, by Santa Claus himself, who was in preparation for the Christmas season, but stopped by to interrupt our privy top ten. And, I took the moment to just interview the gentleman, and we learned a lot more than I think we had ever bargained for about our jolliest old saint house, breaking and entering into friend, and I was reminded of my sins and in some ways, made to do embarrassment, penance from Santa, for having had told the children to put x lax in his
cookies two years prior. Now, I cannot stress that in times present, I have done nothing but, ensure that the kids know not wink to put anything in Santa's milk, cookies or. so. And also, we're keeping the mushrooms out of it. We ventured into the world of psychedelic reindeer mushroom urine. Santa doesn't need that much. He, he's good. And I think he and I have an understanding. I think last year's intrusion into the show was a good, palate cleanser for the jolly
old. I'm going to say elf because I think he is called an elf at one point. I don't know. santa's lore is a little mixed on me. I do know that him and Mr. Hanky are homies. so maybe they're hanging out and enjoying a post festivity snack right now. But speaking of post festivity snacks, it's time we need to discuss privy's top ten Christmas treats. Now, we ventured into
this endeavor last year. We didn't get far, as I noted, but some things that need to be just are on the list and we don't need to rank them right now, but we need to put them on the list. And the number one on this, as I rank it. I didn't rank it, but one of the things on the list is just the classic christmas cookie. Now, I'm a big fan of unfrosted, not because I don't like frosting. I don't. I don't like cake. Frosting, is what I'm finding, but I think it's because I'm
old. I think I'm what the teens would call old. but, the reason that I am a pro unfrosted Christmas cookie is it is a blank canvas of opportunity and pleasure. and if you're like me, sometimes you want to get a little silly and put a little peanut butter on your Christmas cookie and just get a little wild and crazy. And so sometimes if you have the blank Christmas cookie, you can do those type things. we discussed last year the need for a savory mix. and a good checks mix
is always a win. and you almost want too many of those brown rye chips. I feel like dill holes far and wide. When faced with a bag of checks mix, they fish out, the rye chips. That's a crime. You need to eat the mix. And we get that. The rye chip is the shining star of that. I just had an Amazon delivery here. What a silly world. We have robots telling us that people are putting things on our porch. What a fun place.
but the third thing that you need to make sure that is included on your Christmas treat list is. And this is a personal favorite, my wife has recently made divinity, and it was delicious. And divinity is kind of a tough nut to crack because I've never made it myself, but my aunt used to make it and my mom's made it in the past, and my wife has made it a few times. And from my
understanding, there is a pressure system. And anytime you have to start calculating pressure when you're baking, that treats a little higher difficulty, I think. but divinity is a classic. it's like a marshmallow on steroids. I think there's eggs in it. Who knows? nobody could literally ever know that. There's no way to tell what's in divinity. but another great holiday treat
is salted nut rolls. Now, my mom had begun making scotcherous, and that's one, I think it's a midwestern thing, but, man, they just. Golly, you get yourself some fudge with nuts. >> Speaker B: Hello? >> Speaker A: hello, Mrs. Claus? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: What are you doing in my home bathroom? >> Speaker B: I came to set some things straight.
>> Speaker A: I was in the middle of privy's top ten holiday treats, which, I don't know if you know this, but your husband actually interrupted the top ten holiday treats last year. so the listeners still don't know half of the list. >> Speaker B: But that sounds like him. >> Speaker A: You have grievances to air. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: like now. >> Speaker B: Yes, this is the best time, Christmas day.
>> Speaker A: Is it because Santa's still doing deliveries? >> Speaker B: No, Santa has finished his deliveries, but now he's taking his cookie and coma induced. >> Speaker A: Santa after. After Santa does his what we're going to call his deed to the children, for the children. Does he always take a big, fat nap? Every year. >> Speaker B: Very tiring to hand out gifts to all those children. Plus, he eats an insane amount of
cookies. I can't even tell you about the gas that comes out of that man when he's, >> Speaker A: Hopefully. I don't know how much Santa. >> Speaker B: You know what? Just a minute. I'm going to need cocoa for this. >> Speaker A: Okay, wait. Hey, Mrs. Claus. yes, bring. Can I also get cocoa since we're here? >> Speaker B: Yes, I will get you a cocoa. >> Speaker A: Okay. Wait, where are you getting cocoa? Okay, she's gone.
well, while she's. I don't know. I was getting ready to tell you about fudge with nuts, but now I'm curious about. I don't know if Mrs. Claus is going to help herself to the cocoa that my wife and I just have stashed in our house or if she's going to magic herself some cocoa? I'm unsure. with two insanely large, and I'm going to say concerningly, almost overflowing for the amount of recording equipment on this table. Mrs. Claus? hot coco's, where, you can.
>> Speaker B: Never have too much hot cocoa. >> Speaker A: Mr. Hoover, did you procure this with Mag? How did you make this? >> Speaker B: I just rated your pantry. >> Speaker A: Okay, well, your wife has a. >> Speaker B: Lovely collection of cups. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I at one point was told that I have too many cups. I don't know if that's a. >> Speaker B: Well, there are some very nerdy ones in there. I'm assuming they're yours.
>> Speaker A: Well, no, actually, most of them belong to my wife. I try to just keep it to the regular grays and blues, but she insists on having these novelty mugs that I use them because I don't really know. But the cup that I took out. >> Speaker B: Of the cupboard for you is a Christmas Pokemon. And now I know from the list that you really like Pokemon. I do. >> Speaker A: Wait, you get to look at the list? >> Speaker B: I have access to all the things.
Like, I know what you did with your friends on that person's car. >> Speaker A: Well, the whole world can know what we did. >> Speaker B: Yes. but I knew before because it's. >> Speaker A: Technically public record now. how did your wife feel about that? >> Speaker B: Hm. >> Speaker A: Those marshmallows are good. I think the way she came about it, knowing about it was actually a better story because
I don't know if we've gotten into the nitty gritty. When I talked to Aaron and Bret about was, you know, Aaron and Bret, of course, they're probably both on the good list. The nice, you know, when we did that at the, like, it was my wife's roommate's boyfriend's car that some of us pooped on. And so it was really funny because I'm pretty sure the way that my wife came into the knowledge of it
was her roommate complaining. So, it was really fun to connect that little situation from both ends, and meet in the middle with the full story. from my knowledge, I didn't get in any trouble and there was no strange feelings. and it was totally, I. I was party to a group of people who pooped on a young man's. So you're telling me that Santa's never had any bathroom problems? I mean, you're married to the guy. What?
>> Speaker B: I never said he didn't have bathroom, problems. Okay, I definitely said that the gas that comes out of him, thanks to everybody's cookies, is atrocious yeah. >> Speaker A: Does Santa ever talk to you about two years ago. >> Speaker B: we don't speak of the incident. >> Speaker A: Do you want maybe you should speak of the incident. I know what Santa probably told you. Why don't you give me Santa's version, and I'll clear it up for you.
>> Speaker B: Santa told me he was maliciously, attacked through cookies by the children of the world. In fact, he was very close to canceling Christmas for quite a few children for this. >> Speaker A: Well, that would be a rash, jump to conclusion. Are we talking. >> Speaker B: He struggled to finish out the whole present delivery in one go. >> Speaker A: Because of the laxative? >> Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, there wasn't just one laxative. He had a visceral
concoction of, laxatives. Because not every child put the same kind in their cookies, and not every child put the same amount in their cookies. And have you ever seen that movie, dumb and dumber? >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, I've lived it in many ways. >> Speaker B: And the scene. >> Speaker A: I work at a public high school. >> Speaker B: Ah. So you know exactly what I'm talking about. That scene where he's in the bathroom and all heck broke
sleep. Yeah. >> Speaker A: Actually, Mrs. Claus, I have a number of photos. have you ever heard of Randy Bowles? >> Speaker B: I prefer not to look at it. I came across it one time and instantly regretted all of my decisions. >> Speaker A: But you could imagine that that's what your husband was dealing with. >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: It was awful that they told those kids to put the x lax. >> Speaker B: Yeah, that's terrible that somebody did that.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: And I can't even imagine the kind of person who would tell them to do that. >> Speaker A: Now, does Santa blame me? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: Now, did he tell you that I told kids to do that? >> Speaker B: Absolutely. >> Speaker A: Now, do you believe. >> Speaker B: Because I've heard the. What was it that you said about the pooping on the car? Oh, it's, out there on the Internet now. Everybody knows.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. But, Mrs. Claus, I got to tell you, you are not, from what I can tell, this show's target demographic, which is, from what I get, sir, from what I can tell, like, 18 to 40 male, you would be one of the very few female listeners. Shout out to any of the female listeners out there. thank you. And, But, so Santa had some trouble because children of their own accord. >> Speaker B: Put. >> Speaker A: Laxative in his cookies.
>> Speaker B: I think they were more, coerced. >> Speaker A: Okay. But I did tell them not to. Like, I did say, don't do this wink. >> Speaker B: Yeah, but it's that wink right there at the end. I didn't see a lot of things with children, and teenagers and adults. Just different kinds of demographics. Looking at the list to see if they should be on the naughty and nice. And so I understand
a lot. I get that most of the kids in the world would have heard wink and gotten the big old thumbs up from. >> Speaker A: Yeah, but it didn't affect you. I mean, Santa had his accident, but how could it have? he's out and about. >> Speaker B: How did. This personally affected me for that part, but it definitely affected some of our very hardworking elves. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: And he really messed that sleigh up that year. We had to refurbish the entire.
>> Speaker A: Santa's. So he diarrhea at his sleigh? Is that what I'm hearing? >> Speaker B: I, can neither confirm nor deny that. >> Speaker A: Does Santa have magical diarrhea? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Okay. Because the word on the street is his reindeer might have psychedelic urine, so it would play well if Santa also had magical. >> Speaker B: No. No. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: he's still just a regular man who lives forever.
>> Speaker A: Just a regular old guy who lives forever, based on last year. So last year, Santa showed up and, again, rudely interrupted the Christmas treat list. >> Speaker B: I, hope you don't think I was rude when I came. >> Speaker A: Know. I wouldn't say rude. It's just different. you seem both upset at me and maybe Santa somehow. >> Speaker B: I have definitely been upset with Santa a little bit more the last
few years. I do think that plays into your advice to the children of the world. >> Speaker A: Well, surely there are some things that Santa has asked of you that are not my m doing. last year, he told me about asking you to pick dingleberries out of his butt. >> Speaker B: Absolutely. He has asked me of that, and I will tell you right now, there is no way in gingerbread that I am doing that.
He can ask all he wants. The answer will always be, heck no. >> Speaker A: Do you feel guilty knowing that the elves then end up picking the dingleberries? >> Speaker B: What do you mean, the elves pick the dingleberries? Okay. Anti is grown man. He can handle his own dingleberries. >> Speaker A: I think Santa likes the tender touch of somebody else picking his dingleberries. >> Speaker B: Well, him and I are going to have a very firm conversation when I get back home.
>> Speaker A: Santa, when and if you hear this. >> Speaker B: he cannot mistreat the elf that way. >> Speaker A: How could you not have told her? This cannot be how she finds out. Santa, I know that there's a whole year until you drop off a big, fat load of stuff at my house again, but, like, don't put me on the naughty list for this. It's not my fault. >> Speaker B: You would not go on the naughty. >> Speaker A: List for this, if anything.
Yeah, yeah. Actually, you know what? That's right. So, Mrs. Claus, it's cold up north. I don't know if I explained, so this is a podcast I do about bathrooms. You're here now, so you're on it. >> Speaker B: do you need written consent for that? >> Speaker A: No, I think just the fact that you continue speaking into the microphone is consent. that's what I tell myself anytime I have anybody on this. I do tell them
if they say something that they want me to take back, I can always. The power of editing is pretty cool. but since you're here, one of the things that I'm curious about is it's pretty cold up north where you live, allegedly. is it? >> Speaker B: It's very rude to allude that I'm not from where I am. >> Speaker A: Okay. Siberia. >> Speaker B: Not, what? >> Speaker A: I said, do you shave, Mrs. Claus? Can I ask that question? >> Speaker B: Well, I am a woman.
>> Speaker A: Okay. But it's cold. >> Speaker B: are you asking if I leave the hair on my body as an extra layer of warmth? >> Speaker A: I mean, it's a Mrs. Claus thing. I don't know. >> Speaker B: I'm still a woman. >> Speaker A: Okay, fair enough. >> Speaker B: I do know that there are some women who do not indulge in that, but I personally like to have clean shaving, and I wear very warm clothing. >> Speaker A: Okay, very good.
>> Speaker B: Nice wool leggings and very warm clothes. Having shaved legs does not. >> Speaker A: So, do you affect that? do you ever help Santa with his shaving, like, his back and other areas. Do you ever shave Santa's back? Let's just get to it. >> Speaker B: Santa doesn't need his back shaved.
>> Speaker A: Well, Santa wants his back. I mean, so this seems like maybe, we should have had Santa here, too, because Santa shared a lot of information with me last year that I feel like maybe he should have shared with you, his wife. but apparently, Santa would like you to shave his back. >> Speaker B: M that's going to be a no. >> Speaker A: Okay, so we'll chalk it up to the elves and move.
>> Speaker B: no, he's not allowed to ask the elves to help with that. If he would like to get his back shaved, he can go see a professional and pay them a substantial amount of money for it. >> Speaker A: Do they have professional back shavers in the north Pole or Siberia? >> Speaker B: Everything in the north Pole. >> Speaker A: Everything? >> Speaker B: Everything. >> Speaker A: Okay, well, then Santa gets paid.
>> Speaker B: Very well for what they do. Except for I'm finding out the elves are being very much misused here. >> Speaker A: Well, maybe Santa's paying them extra. I don't. We wait till I tell you what he did with the reindeer. >> Speaker B: excuse me. >> Speaker A: Also, Santa alleged that he is having, elves bathe him. Do you know anything about these elven bath.
>> Speaker B: The elves are in charge of filling Santa's bathtub, but then they are supposed to leave, and Santa is to wash himself. >> Speaker A: I think either by choice or by force, a number of elves are sticking around for the main attraction. And, I don't know. Do you know if Santa's a loofah man or a washcloth man, or does he, like, have magic soap that just does the scrubbing? >> Speaker B: No. we are not wizards. >> Speaker A: Okay. You are magical, though.
Yes. >> Speaker B: This is not. >> Speaker A: You made 245 ounce cups of hot cocoa in less than a minute. So I'm trying to figure it out. >> Speaker B: But we do can have magic. But it's Christmas magic, okay? Very different than wizarding magic. >> Speaker A: Got it. >> Speaker B: And as for him, he uses, a loofah. >> Speaker A: He's a loofah man. >> Speaker B: Yes. It's candy cane shaped.
>> Speaker A: Why would it ever need to be candy cane shaped? For what purpose? >> Speaker B: He likes to scratch his back with it while he's taking a shower, but. >> Speaker A: If you scratch too far down, it's going to slip into the wrong grooves. >> Speaker B: it's not that long of a. >> Speaker A: has. Did you know that Santa threatened to poop in my stocking last year? he said he would, quote, leave something
nice in my stocking for me. Now, you didn't see his face when he said it, but he did not mean a treat or a toy. >> Speaker B: Santa had tried to do that, many years ago, way before your time. and he learned very quickly that the wife is the one who has to handle the stockings after. And it doesn't actually punish the husband to leave nice treat in their stockings.
We have a rule. Now, if I find out he's done that to somebody's stocking where he gets to sleep on the couch for a. >> Speaker A: Couple months, it's a couple almost. That's a good fraction of the year. Closer to the next Christmas. >> Speaker B: Yes. Let's, hope he learns his lesson quickly. >> Speaker A: has Santa ever tried to perform an icy bung? >> Speaker B: I'm not sure I know what that is, young man.
>> Speaker A: I think it's when you run out of toilet paper and you use snow. >> Speaker B: M. it's very possible he has. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: I feel like it wouldn't be too unsanitary to use that. >> Speaker A: It's just cold. >> Speaker B: It's just cold. So he'd have to aim very carefully, not hit anything else. >> Speaker A: Have you ever gone in for the icy bung? >> Speaker B: No. okay. I use a proper
toilet. When we were a young Claus family, before toilets were invented and things. >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, man. We don't think about that. >> Speaker B: We definitely use dug holes and did that. And let me tell you, indoor plumbing is a miracle all in your. >> Speaker A: How did you think about, like. So at one point here in America, people were just crapping in the street. It was a thing. They just dumped water down.
Was. What was the pulse with Santa on know, you just go to deliver presents and the streets are just filled with turds. >> Speaker B: Well, I think he probably just used the bathroom when he needed to. Then it wasn't much of, But did he have to quietly sneak into somebody's bathroom and use that? >> Speaker A: Right, but he just hit the street. >> Speaker B: Yep. >> Speaker A: Oh, man. So maybe that was a better world for. Cause, like, it sounds like maybe this.
>> Speaker B: Definitely a quicker, drop off times. >> Speaker A: I think his lack there was just less people could have been solved better. so Santa said that he carves wieners in the bar soap. Have you found one of these soap wieners? >> Speaker B: Yes. I think he just gets bored. We make toys all year, and I think you can only make so many toy trucks and little dollies. And I think he just feels he needs to have
an outlet. Like a middle school know, Santa goes through phases. When you live as long as he does and as long as I have, you go through phases. And right now he's in the middle school boy wiener carving phase. We've gone through it before. >> Speaker A: We'll get through it, man. Yeah. Hey, well, good for Santa. He did say that sometimes he leaves them for the elves to find. I don't know. Does the North Pole have, like, an HR sexual harassment thing that.
>> Speaker B: No, but I might be looking into. >> Speaker A: Starting one of know. I'm not trying to get Santa fired. >> Speaker B: You can't fire I. >> Speaker A: Well, according to, Tim Allen, I can murder him and be. >> Speaker B: No, no, that's not. >> Speaker A: Oh, are you sure? >> Speaker B: That's just Hollywood? >> Speaker A: How do we get a new Santa? >> Speaker B: There's never been a new Santa.
>> Speaker A: Okay, well, I need a Santa that's less pissed at me. >> Speaker B: Well, then I would suggest that you do some kissing. >> Speaker A: Oh, no. Because I've talked to Santa, and I'm very aware of where he would like to be kissed because of. Okay, so Santa has a strange relationship with the reindeer. I learned this last year. >> Speaker B: They've been around together for thousands of years. Yeah. >> Speaker A: So, did Santa know the
reindeer before? Did y'all. Did you guys, like, hatch from the same. I don't know how it. >> Speaker B: When did you grow from a tree? >> Speaker A: Is that offensive? I don't know. >> Speaker B: It is a little bit offensive. I'm not offense. >> Speaker A: Did you guys get married? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: Okay, that makes sense because it's Mrs. Did he know the reindeer before you?
>> Speaker B: No, actually, we found the reindeer shortly after we were married within. I think we had been married. >> Speaker A: Is Rudolph annoying? >> Speaker B: One year before we found the reindeer. >> Speaker A: So you got a pet one year in? Is that kind of what I'm. >> Speaker B: Well, it wasn't so much like nine pets. We found that one of them glows. when we were building Santa's workshop, they kind of just arrived, and they were just little
babies. There were no adults, just little babies. And so Santa and I bottle fed them and off in the head. >> Speaker A: No, see if it fixes his nose, because. >> Speaker B: No, there's nothing wrong with his nose. Well, he is beautiful the way he is. >> Speaker A: So according. >> Speaker B: We have to work very hard on his confidence. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: He struggles. The other reindeer made a lot of fun of him back in the 90s, especially.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, I remember. and the children of the world. >> Speaker B: Were just so mean. >> Speaker A: Well, I think it's because he's annoying. >> Speaker B: No, he was not. He is very sweet. He's just a little special. >> Speaker A: Have you ever seen the documentary about Rudolph? Because every time his nose flashes, it makes the stupidest sound. >> Speaker B: Yes, from the old animated movie. His nose does not make that
sound when it glows. Well, just the people who made the documentary needed not as much a documentary as it is a child show. >> Speaker A: Yukon Cornelius was a real hero. >> Speaker B: Yukon Cornelius had yarn beard, and he licked his pickaxe. >> Speaker A: Well, Santa takes baths with. I can't remember which Rainer. I want to say dasher, but he takes baths with the rain. Oh, yeah, it's Dasher. >> Speaker B: it's not the kind of bath like you're
did. before I tell you what it is, tell me what Santa told you. His bath with Dasher was. >> Speaker A: Said. Oh, man. >> Speaker B: Oh. >> Speaker A: I asked him how he felt about baths, and he said that he loves them. And he said something along the lines of, especially with a reindeer. And I said, do you take baths with the reindeer? And he said, yeah, mostly dasher. >> Speaker B: Yes. So it's not a. Oh,
they're both in a big old tub bath. we use, a special galvanized tank to help clean the reindeer. They get really exhausted and dirty, especially after flying, and landing on roofs. There's chimneys. There's through trees and through the sky. They just get a little bit dirty. and so we have a special galvanized tank where Santa has to stand in to scrub the reindeer, clean them off. and so, yes, sometimes that does fill up a little bit before we drain it between each reindeer. But it is Dasher's
favorite. He will get back in line to get reclean three or four times before Santa has to finally be done. >> Speaker A: Okay, Dasher's a little weird then. >> Speaker B: Well, he just likes to have baths. >> Speaker A: Which of the reindeer, is the weirdest reindeer? >> Speaker B: Comet. >> Speaker A: Comet. >> Speaker B: He thinks he's an actual comet. >> Speaker A: See, I would have thought Rudolph would have been thinking he's a
comet since his nose. No, he's got, like, drunken nose. >> Speaker B: He's just got just a lot of self, pity is what he has. >> Speaker A: Yeah. no confidence. So, Mrs. Glaus, we already know where Santa. But how do you feel about baths? Are you pro bath? >> Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. I love taking a nice, warm bubble bath with my hot cocoa. >> Speaker A: Do you ever get a reindeer or an elf in the mix, like, no. >> Speaker B: Sir, I do not. I am a lady.
>> Speaker A: Okay, well, your husband isn't a lady, but he definitely acts like he gets a Rudolph for one or two in there. >> Speaker B: Nope. like I told you, just a galvanized washing tub for the reindeer. But, I mean, it does get pretty full with water, because Santa just. >> Speaker A: Santa ever try to load all nine reindeer and get in there himself at the same time? >> Speaker B: He tried it a couple of times, but the tub is not that big.
>> Speaker A: Okay, how many did he get into the tub? >> Speaker B: I, do believe he got three in, and the rest of them were. >> Speaker A: Just so we know Dasher's in there because he's a big fan. >> Speaker B: Prancer. Prancer and vixen. >> Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, that's. >> Speaker B: You do know that Santa's reindeer are all girls, right? >> Speaker A: I'm pretty confident Rudolph is a boy, based on the
documentary Rudolph. He loved Clarice, or whatever her head was. >> Speaker B: because female reindeer keep their antlers in the wintertime, and male reindeer shed. >> Speaker A: Female reindeer get antlers. >> Speaker B: Male reindeer shed their antlers. >> Speaker A: Mrs. Claus, did you know that reindeer, at some point in history, have eaten psychedelic mushrooms and their urine carried those psychedelic properties?
>> Speaker B: yeah, I heard about it. Probably around the. Well, that just became m a well known thing. >> Speaker A: I don't know when it became well known. Somebody started to talk about it at some point. but, yeah, it was a long time ago that they found this out, and then they didn't start talking about it until a long time later. So you're pro baths. how about the toilet paper? There's a
series of questions I ask everybody. and so when you sit down and the toilet paper is on the roll, do you like the toilet paper to hang over, under, or as I have been explained it in the last couple of years, do you prefer it as a mullet back or a beard forward? >> Speaker B: Well, I do enjoy it to be, over the top like a beard. but that's because the elves fold the tip of it into a fun little shape like a star. >> Speaker A: That's fun.
>> Speaker B: It's like going to a fancy hotel. >> Speaker A: Did you know that Santa said he has trained you to put the toilet paper on the roll? He used the word train. >> Speaker B: He trained. >> Speaker A: He said that I have trained Mrs. Claus to do it the right way. >> Speaker B: What does he think is the right way? >> Speaker A: I think he was in agreement with you. >> Speaker B: Well, that's the only way. It's not a training.
>> Speaker A: It is not the only way. >> Speaker B: Yeah. Any other way is wrong. There's a. >> Speaker A: Know Mrs. Claus. I've had a number of people on this show, and most of the people, when we get to this, and they want to try to prove a point, they start talking about the patent and how the person who made the patent patented it with the beard and not the mullet. But that doesn't matter. >> Speaker B: Then neither does your documentary about Rudolph
and his blinky nose. That makes noise. >> Speaker A: But it's a beloved film. Watched by toilet paper is an item. >> Speaker B: Used by people every day. >> Speaker A: I'm in complete agreement. >> Speaker B: And so I feel like the official document patent for toilet paper has more sway than an animated Hollywood cartoon for children. >> Speaker A: Documentary. >> Speaker B: Not a documentary. >> Speaker A: Your husband and you feature in it.
>> Speaker B: That does not make it a documentary. Young man, you don't remember Rudy Tootie. >> Speaker A: Fresh and fruity that wants to be like a dentist or whatever. I don't remember his name. He was annoying, too. Clarence Leroy Toto? I don't know. Do you know who I'm talking about? Did he actually go rogue? Did he quit because Santa made him scrub his butthole? That would make me want to be a dentist. I don't really like dentists, but if Santa was like,
scrub it. that would probably be dentist. If I was an elf. >> Speaker B: No, he did not quit because he's not a real elf. Because that's a Hollywood animated child's program. And they have no idea because we don't share the names of our elves with people. >> Speaker A: I know Bernard is one. >> Speaker B: No, that is once again, from a Hollywood. >> Speaker A: I'm pretty confident Legolas is one as well.
>> Speaker B: But I. That is definitely from the book by JRL token. >> Speaker A: Every elf is. >> Speaker B: No, no. we have the only elves. There are no south pole elves. There are also no elves that live in trees and make all marketing. >> Speaker A: Well, somebody makes the cookies. >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's not elves. It's a factory where people.
>> Speaker A: Maybe they heard you say this and they have a time machine and they were pissed and they went back and told everyone to put Xlax in Santa's cookies. Maybe that's the, quote. Non existent quote. Tree elves that you have offended. So, when you're just trying to. >> Speaker B: Get out of trouble with Santa. >> Speaker A: Yeah, probably not. I mean, I think know. >> Speaker B: I don't think Santa's gonna forgive you for many years to come.
>> Speaker A: He kind of said he would. what do you have to do? I don't remember. It's not important. I think I had to tell people not to put Xlax in his stuff. Wink. do you. >> Speaker B: Would you stop winking? >> Speaker A: I don't know. >> Speaker B: Do you have like a tick or something? >> Speaker A: No, I don't like ticks. So Santa believes in his heart, or I don't know how many he has. Because the Grinch has. Well, he's got one heart, but it got bigger.
I think it's a disease. but like, Santa and his a really nice fellow. So the Grinch is real, but Bernard and Clarence the dentist elf are not? >> Speaker B: Yes, the Grinch is real. He's one of our elves. >> Speaker A: How can the Grinch be one of your elves? He's not even an elf. >> Speaker B: He's a who and he's a who that, well, is an elf. >> Speaker A: Okay?
>> Speaker B: And he does have a disease that caused his heart to grow, but it's not because he hated Christmas and then decided that he loved Christmas. >> Speaker A: I'm pretty confident that that is how. That's just Hollywood. >> Speaker B: That's just the story. All right, Mrs. Clark, Dr. Seuss came up with. He was a very nice young man, too. >> Speaker A: Yeah. a lot of his books were political. Yeah. Do you know, like. So Santa, Santa's take on
seat toilet seats. Is that you, Mrs. Claus, and every other woman of the world should have to put the seat down themselves and raise it up when they are done. >> Speaker B: Why? >> Speaker A: I think his argument, again. you can go listen to his argument. But I believe his argument was it takes just as much effort for a man to put the seat down as it does for a woman to put the seat up. >> Speaker B: Man doesn't fall in the toilet in the night because they left the seat up.
>> Speaker A: Right. So I think the idea is. Again, this is not my idea. I think your husband's being lazy. >> Speaker B: well, he does work really hard one day of the year. >> Speaker A: Yeah. And then it sounds like he sleeps a lot of the rest of the year and hangs out with the elves and the reindeer and gets in trouble with you. Yeah. but do you feel like you should have to put the seat up for him? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Why?
>> Speaker B: Because, his butt don't fall in the toilet. >> Speaker A: Why do you think that Santa can't figure out how to magically raise and lower the toilet seat? >> Speaker B: Our magic doesn't work that way. Christmas magic. >> Speaker A: But couldn't he Christmas magic build a device that does it? >> Speaker B: No, because Christmas doesn't have to do with toilet seats coming up.
>> Speaker A: I think your husband would beg to differ. Last year he was, from what you've said, ruining. he. Did he ever poop after that? Did he ever go to the bathroom in the north pole? Did it make it all the way back or did he totally void himself before? >> Speaker B: Oh, no, it made it back. He doesn't void himself until he got home because he continually ate cookies. >> Speaker A: One giant, he kept eating. >> Speaker B: So there were still things to come out.
Yeah, he did have a couple of the reindeer carrots. They weren't too happy with him, but he felt that he needed to have something besides sugar coming out of him so quickly. >> Speaker A: Has Santa said anything about his trip this year? He just got back. You said, get back. Did he say anything about his trip this year? >> Speaker B: he was extra gassy this year. >> Speaker A: Okay. did anybody leave him mushrooms per chance?
>> Speaker B: He did see a couple of mushroom shaped cookies, and then he did see some mushrooms on the plate. For the reindeer. >> Speaker A: Yeah. Did he happen to eat any of those? >> Speaker B: No, he fed them to the reindeer. they were with the reindeer. >> Speaker A: How are the reindeer doing? >> Speaker B: They've all been acting a little strange. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: Did you tell people to give the reindeer mushrooms this year?
>> Speaker A: I specifically said. Did you say, wink said, pizza mushrooms? Don't do that, wink. >> Speaker B: You did tell them. Hopefully those reindeer aren't sick by next year still. >> Speaker A: Oh, from what I can tell on my research, they're not going to be sick. Have you ever seen the kids television Program Scooby Doo? Unfortunately, I think the reindeer are what Scooby and the gang would call zoinking. Right. know, also if you trying to solve a
mystery. Yeah, if you want a bottle. Yeah. The mystery is psychedelic mushrooms. >> Speaker B: I thought you said pizza mushrooms. >> Speaker A: I did. People are dumb and don't listen to me. >> Speaker B: You do. Tell them, wink. Wink at the end. >> Speaker A: Well, that's because this is not. >> Speaker B: Have a tick. >> Speaker A: I don't like ticks. this is not a visual medium, and so to get the emotion on my face, I have to sometimes explain the emotion.
>> Speaker B: Wink. You're not actually winking when you're saying it? No. Because. Are you lying to the people? >> Speaker A: Because if I say it, I don't have to do it. It's one of those things. so are you ever concerned about. You said it's not real, but there's logical, well meaning people that believe it is real. Are you worried about Santa getting murdered so that way other people can be Santa?
>> Speaker B: I do think that there are crazy people in this world. Well, and I do think that there are some psycho people who would attempt to get a hold of Santa to try and see if they could Tim Allen their way into the North Pole. Yeah. but, Santa's suit is extra special. >> Speaker A: Really? >> Speaker B: Yes. >> Speaker A: What's so special about Santa suit? >> Speaker B: I'm afraid that is very elf classified.
>> Speaker A: I have a feeling that I'm going to get a hold of an elf someday and I will get all this information. >> Speaker B: No, our elves are very. >> Speaker A: Well, Bernard is not. >> Speaker B: Bernard is a real elf. Not a real elf. Yours don't even look real, Santa. >> Speaker A: yeah, that's true. Santa insinuated that you pooped on him. >> Speaker B: Excuse me? >> Speaker A: Santa insinuated that you pooped on him. >> Speaker B: When?
>> Speaker A: When did you poop on him? Or when did he insinuate it? >> Speaker B: When did he say I pooped on him? >> Speaker A: One year ago. Almost to the day, strangely enough. It's weird how this keeps happening. I don't understand it. I just want to talk about fudge with nuts. but, yeah, he said fudge with. >> Speaker B: Nuts is not good. Okay. >> Speaker A: Your husband likes it. Well, quote, I like, the more nuts, the better. Was I thinking he has to put.
>> Speaker B: The nuts in the fudge himself? Because I don't believe that nuts, deserve to be in any sort of. >> Speaker A: Dessert or baked good nuts in the, Santa? Yeah, I think Santa likes putting nuts in the fudge. I think that's true. But that's when it, like. Did you do it? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: Well, why would Santa say that you did? What's wrong with him?
>> Speaker B: Do you remember when I said that Santa comes home and he's usually very hyped up on sugar and tired? >> Speaker A: You think it's part of his middle school phase, too? >> Speaker B: No, I think he might have had a little bit too many sugar cookies, and he was just hallucinating. I feel like the might have possibly thrown fudge at him. >> Speaker A: He thought it was a turd. have you ever met Mr. Hank? >> Speaker B: He puked on my.
>> Speaker A: So, yeah, that's gross. >> Speaker B: I threw fudge at him. >> Speaker A: Have you ever met Mr. Hanky? >> Speaker B: no. >> Speaker A: You haven't? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: From what I understand, him and your husband are, like, halfway. >> Speaker B: no, because, Mr. Hanky is a Christmas poo. >> Speaker A: Yes. >> Speaker B: And, when they hang out, it's always at his place.
>> Speaker A: He lives in the sewers underneath Colorado. I'm not going to lie. I don't know a lot about, >> Speaker B: Mr. Hankey has had his invitation to our home withdrawn. >> Speaker A: Okay. well, that doesn't seem very nice. >> Speaker B: Well, there was a very good reason. >> Speaker A: Did you know Mr. Hankey has electric wizard powers? >> Speaker B: Yes, unfortunately, I did. That's one of the reasons he's no longer welcome into our home.
>> Speaker A: Got it. >> Speaker B: now, m Chris has tried to get him back in. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: and Hanky, has not made it back onto the visitor list yet. >> Speaker A: It's just dawning on me that your husband's name is Chris Kringle, and I just got thrown for a wild loop. What is your name? I've called you pretty much Mrs. All evening. because is your name just Mrs. Kringle also? I thought it was Claus. Is Claus like a surname or like a
maiden name? How's that work? >> Speaker B: Claus? is my married name. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: my first name is Debbie. No, not Debbie. That would be Patricia Philly. >> Speaker A: What about Patricia? >> Speaker B: No, it's Gertrude. >> Speaker A: No, it's not. Mrs. Claus, in all due respect, I'll be calling you Mrs. And not Gertrude. >> Speaker B: Well, that's very polite of you, young man.
>> Speaker A: Ah, yeah, because Gertrude Claus sounds fake. so you're not worried about Sam? Well, you are worried, but you think it's not likely to happen based on, quote, a suit, him being murdered. And you said you haven't pooped on him. so when you walked into the bathroom and you saw your husband, Santa Claus, pooping in a litter box, what did you do? >> Speaker B: Think I just turned around and walked away. I think it was one of those moments. We wives have these
moments frequently with our. Where, my wife doesn't have these. Oh, no, she does. All wives, they all have them. They just see their husband do something, and they have come to just go, well, all right. And then you just turn around and walk away, and you don't ask any questions, and you let it go. and then if that behavior continues, then you get to ask a question. but the first initial one, you just go. So it's kind of like a middle schooler where you say,
don't do that. And then they feel the need to continue to do it. >> Speaker A: Yeah. >> Speaker B: And I'm sure you are just like that when your wife does things. >> Speaker A: No, I think I listen pretty good. do you think Santa has returned to the litter box? >> Speaker B: The litter box was for our house cat. >> Speaker A: Well, Santa said, you don't have a cat. >> Speaker B: you have a cat. >> Speaker A: He just doesn't know about it.
>> Speaker B: We have a. The. >> Speaker A: What's the cat's name? >> Speaker B: Is it peppermint? >> Speaker A: Peppermint. That's a good cat name. >> Speaker B: Thank you. >> Speaker A: So Santa said he has used peppermint's litter box. >> Speaker B: yes, he has. Santa has some, I'd like to call it, ibs is kind of what it is. and he did not make it to the bathroom. >> Speaker A: So what I'm proposing is.
>> Speaker B: Well, I'm already married, young man. >> Speaker A: No. Forgive me. what I'm suggesting is perhaps in flight litter boxes on the sleigh, just in case there is an accidental and totally unintended x lax problem in the future. Santa can hit the litter box. Also, why is there not just a hatch that he can just poop through the bottom of the sleigh? >> Speaker B: Well, because people become afraid of things that fall from the sky.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, but by the time Santa doesn't fly that high, but he's moving so fast that it's going to be like water vapor by the time it gets on people. >> Speaker B: Yeah. You can still smell it. >> Speaker A: Yeah, but, like, half the world stinks. >> Speaker B: No, it's just a sanitary issue. Yeah. And we don't want to cause anybody to get sick. we heard a story of a young man who accidentally had cow poop right at him, and he swallowed it and got very sick.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, I think I'm related to that guy. >> Speaker A: I think there's a non zero chance that I'm related to that person. >> Speaker B: I cannot confirm or deny that. >> Speaker A: so Santa said y'all use charmin. Do you agree with that choice, or is that by force? >> Speaker B: it's very soft. >> Speaker A: Yeah. is that why Santa's going for. >> Speaker B: He has. His bathroom experiences aren't very good. He eats mostly cookies.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. What does he eat? Like, not Christmas time cookies. >> Speaker B: I've gotten to the point where I grind up vegetables and put them in the cookies. I put them in the frosting, like the green frosting. Sometimes it has spinach in it. With enough sugar, you can't taste it. But I'm trying to get a little bit in him. And sometimes he eats, like, turkey. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: But, not as a cookie.
>> Speaker A: Yeah, he just eats the turkey. >> Speaker B: Yeah. He likes a nice turkey sandwich on plain, sugar cookies, actually. >> Speaker A: Has Santa ever tried a turkey cookie? Like, to make a cookie or you. >> Speaker B: I attempted it one time. It does not have a very good consistency. >> Speaker A: I believe it. >> Speaker B: dirty bird. And you have to really grind the turkey into basically a pate. >> Speaker A: Gross.
>> Speaker B: So it's very mushy. That's disgusting. And at that point, it kind of turns. This weird gray color looks the same. >> Speaker A: Going in as it comes out. >> Speaker B: Yeah. And it's just not an appealing experience for anybody. >> Speaker A: do you have any pet peeves in the bathroom, perhaps? Maybe things that your husband's doing that drive you absolutely nuts? >> Speaker B: Santa, he trims his beard and leaves beard hair all
over the place. And them little white pieces of hair are so hard to get up with. My vacuum. >> Speaker A: You have a vacuum? >> Speaker B: The north Pole has everything. >> Speaker A: What brand of vacuum do you use? >> Speaker B: I have a roomba. >> Speaker A: A roomba. Does Santa like the roomba? >> Speaker B: Santa tried to poop on my roomba. >> Speaker A: One did, huh? >> Speaker B: Yes. Ah. He slept, on the couch for most of the year.
>> Speaker A: That know your husband's mad at me for allegedly telling kids to x lax him. But it seems like he's pretty open and willing to poop in places that are not toilets. >> Speaker B: Like I said, we have been alive for a very long time. >> Speaker A: You think he just gets bored? >> Speaker B: I think he just gets bored.
>> Speaker A: hey, if you ever want, you can tell him. One of the things that I think would work great but isn't widely accepted is you take a Walmart bag, a classic old school walmart bag, like the plastic fuji ones that they say kill turtles. and then you put your legs through the handle holes, and then you wear it on the backside, and then you can just poop straight into the bag. And then you just take the bag off, and it's like
portable poopy diaper, but not a diaper. It doesn't touch you. >> Speaker B: I mean, at that point, he could just wear adult diapers. >> Speaker A: No, because the poo touches your skin. That's gross. That's bad. >> Speaker B: Well, I'm not going to tell him to use a grocery bag to catch his poops. >> Speaker A: Santa, if you're listening to this, he's. >> Speaker B: Not when you hear this, because he's taking a nap.
>> Speaker A: When you wake up in two weeks. >> Speaker B: From your nap, I'll probably delete it so he'll never know. >> Speaker A: That's not how podcasts work. >> Speaker B: Well, Santa's not very bright. >> Speaker A: No further questions. so Santa said he's a big fan of Applebee's. How do you feel about Applebee's, Mrs. Claus? He said that he likes to take you on, quote, special dates to Applebee's. >> Speaker B: Yes, we do go on dates to Applebee's.
>> Speaker A: It's pretty romantic. >> Speaker B: Yeah, with all of that really fake lighting. >> Speaker A: Do you get the two for 20, or do you guys go separate on the meal deal? >> Speaker B: I prefer their salad. >> Speaker A: Okay. >> Speaker B: Yeah, because I've had, gotten sick at Applebee's a couple times. >> Speaker A: Really?
>> Speaker B: But Mr. Chris, he just really likes to go there, and it makes him so happy, and so I just give myself a nice drink. Water. >> Speaker A: Does he order cookies? >> Speaker B: no. he only eats my cookies during the year, and then he eats everybody else's on Christmas. >> Speaker A: Say who? I might be out of the woods. It was you that poisoned Santa. I mean, allegedly poisoned.
>> Speaker B: No, no. >> Speaker A: Have you ever given Santa Axelax in the cookies? >> Speaker B: I did one time. but he was very, very sick. >> Speaker A: So maybe I helped him out last two years. >> Speaker B: No, no, he wasn't sick then. And I gave him an appropriate amount of one singular kind of x lax, and he had unimaginable amounts of various different kinds from thousands of children in the world. Yeah, very different what I did than what you did.
>> Speaker A: I mean, it's similar. >> Speaker B: No, it's not. >> Speaker A: Mrs. Claus, have you ever taken a dark shower? >> Speaker B: We did lose the power one time, and way before there was electricity, I showered in a bucket of cold. Melted. >> Speaker A: You don't think Santa could figure out how to magic? Use some hot water? >> Speaker B: Not Christmas magic. >> Speaker A: Okay, but, like, if Christmas just melted the
snow, Christmas magic. Can't figure out hot water. Do we need it that badly? >> Speaker B: Well, I enjoy hot water. Now you can thank the Romans for. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I. What I hear. have you ever had a snack in the. Like, does Santa ever take his cookies in the shower? >> Speaker B: No. Cookies would get wet and soggy in. >> Speaker A: The shower, but okay. Do you ever have a snack in the shower, Mrs. Claus? >> Speaker B: No. Because that's weird.
>> Speaker A: Well, it's not that weird. >> Speaker B: I think it might be. >> Speaker A: Mrs. Claus, have you ever performed a waffle stomp? >> Speaker B: No, sir. >> Speaker A: Because your husband said that he did at South Albany High school when he was in high school. these are things that he said, as a former guest of this show. >> Speaker B: Chris, Chris, Chris. Santa Claus never attended South Albany High school.
>> Speaker A: Well, I don't know what sort of strange memory he has, but he definitely said he pooped in the boys bathroom. Boys locker room. Shower waffle stomped. >> Speaker B: That might be true, but he never went there as a student. >> Speaker A: Maybe he was just visiting creepily. >> Speaker B: Might have been at night. >> Speaker A: He was delivering gifts to the janitors. And he did.
>> Speaker B: Yeah, Santa likes to hide little, plastic objects around places. >> Speaker A: Know, like, I know that he's done, like, rubber duckies and rubber frogs at some point, so who knows? did you already say who your favorite reindeer is? Did we do that? >> Speaker B: Oh, I love Rudolph. He's just so sweet. >> Speaker A: Yeah, Rudolph really is your favorite. >> Speaker B: He just needs a little extra love.
>> Speaker A: Yeah. So again, the documentary, not a documentary wherein Rudolph, not a documentary, learns to fly. >> Speaker A: He's awful. >> Speaker B: No, he actually flies very well. >> Speaker A: Okay, but he's awful. Like, he's annoying. And his nose makes a siren sound every time it lights. >> Speaker B: Now, are you going to believe a Hollywood movie or me, who has personal experience with Rudolph every day?
>> Speaker A: I'm just saying maybe Rudolph's putting on a front for you and he's not. That way when he's getting a bath with Santa. I don't know. So, anyway, were you happy at, like, did Santa get any extra time home from the x lax debacle out here last year? Did it set you up with any extra Santa time?
>> Speaker B: No, Santa did not come home until after he finished delivering the presents, so it actually took away some of my time with >> Speaker A: Well, I was really hoping that the opposite of that would have been true and you wouldn't be mad at me, but just be mad at him. It's better if you're just mad at Santa. >> Speaker B: I am just mad at Santa, so. >> Speaker A: I'm off the hook. >> Speaker B: I never said.
>> Speaker A: Well, do you have any questions for me about why do you do, know? That's a good question, Mrs. Glaze. It started as a joke, kind of, and then kind of turned into this hobby that never really stopped. I mean, it has an end date at some point, but there always seems to be something else about bathrooms that needs to be learned. >> Speaker B: What does your wife think of the show?
>> Speaker A: I think she is like, it happens in my bathroom, and she tells people about it, but it's like. I don't know. I think it's one of those things where it's like, this is the thing my husband does, but I mean, you get it. Your husband flies around the world and breaks and enters and gives people goodies and threatens to poop in their stockings. So we all have our thing. >> Speaker B: Okay. >> Speaker A: well, if you don't have any, I don't know. How did you get here?
>> Speaker B: Christmas magic. >> Speaker A: So are you just going to Christmas magic? We don't have a chimney. Do you just, like. What do you do? Do you just like Mary Poppins? It? >> Speaker B: Are you asking if I fly in on an umbrella? Yeah. Did you see me come in with an umbrella? >> Speaker A: I didn't see you come in. You banged on the door. I was talking. >> Speaker B: I politely knocked on the door.
>> Speaker A: Yes. >> Speaker B: I did not barge. >> Speaker A: That's true. >> Speaker B: I waited until you told me to come in, and then I entered. >> Speaker A: That is true. you're a lot nicer than your husband. >> Speaker B: Yeah, that can usually be true about a lot of wives. >> Speaker A: Yeah. Santa's kind of a crotchety old man, from what I can tell. Like, he was pretty mad about nothing.
>> Speaker B: I don't think it was nothing. Young man. >> Speaker A: It's done, though. It's two years ago. We live and learn. Like, the mushroom debacle is probably nothing, and I'm sure I'll never go home. >> Speaker B: And have to deal with reindeer puking all over my yard. How do you know? >> Speaker A: Because I think the mushrooms just make them think they can fly, which is. >> Speaker B: Fun, because they can fly, right?
But they're going to fly into the side of the stable, and if I go home and have a broken window. Young man, have you ever met toodles? >> Speaker A: The tooting reindeer? >> Speaker B: Yes, he's very sweet. He's related to Rudolph. >> Speaker A: Yeah, he's better than Rudolph. Let me rank the reindeer. Let me just say there's, like, 15 of them. I couldn't tell you. There's, like, as many reindeers. There are snow White's dwarf
men. has Santa ever thought about having dwarf men pull his sleigh? >> Speaker B: No. >> Speaker A: I think it'd be a better move. Could you imagine these, like, little stubby people landing on your. >> Speaker B: I think you're entering into some very bad territory. That's fair. I think I'm going to have you stop before your wife finds out about it. >> Speaker A: That's fair. Well, we might as well go ahead and end the show. Mrs. Claus, thank you for being here.
>> Speaker B: well, you didn't really have much choice. >> Speaker A: Yeah. Did you feel like you aired what you needed to air? >> Speaker B: For now? >> Speaker A: Okay. well, this has been another episode of Privy. thank you for being here. >> Speaker B: You're welcome. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas magic hot chocolate? >> Speaker A: I did. I will confess I didn't drink it fast
enough, so I'm going to probably nuke it. Does the Christmas magic make it non microwavable? >> Speaker B: It should be fine as long as you don't over microwave it. >> Speaker A: Yeah, I don't do that. What are you insinuating that over microwave things? It's not me. this has been another episode of Privy. Thank you so much for joining us, as always, you can find us online. Privycast. Privycast@gmail.com. Thanks to Kevin and Pottington
for the use of their music this week. Thank you, Mrs. Claus, for joining the show at, ah, a moment's notice and we'll get to that top ten Christmas treats list another time. This has been another episode of Privy. Keep hooping in the free world. Own your stank. And now, as always, don't forget to flash.