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Prime Cuts

Audrey and Nerotwitter.com
Transform, roll out, and plug in! Audrey (she/her, they/them) and Nero (they/them) are taking you on a ride through the history of Transformers television. We're going season by season--but not in order!--so you can experience the best of almost 40 years of cartoons with our expert* and objectively correct** commentary. *bro just trust us **bro just TRUST us
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Episodes

S3E4: Shoes That Make You Old

This week we're joined by David of the Shonen Flop Cast to discuss a pair of episodes that truly span Animated's tones. First Bumblebee has to outspeed a hyper fast thief under the employ of Megatron in an episode right out of Teen Titans. Then Optimus' traumatic past is explored as Blackarachnia appears on Earth to get Sari's key. Sexy spiders, giant chins, and the (heroic) torture of the elderly abound on this episode of Prime Cuts. Noise Space | Discord...

Sep 18, 20221 hr 31 minSeason 3Ep. 4

S3E3: The Dinosaurs and Trauma Power Hour

Hey kids! You like cool fire breathing robot dinosaurs?! Of course ya do! Do you like the deep seated scars of war!? Well good news, this week you get BOTH! The debut of the Animated Dinobots comes right alongside Ratchet facing down an ugly reminder of his past, voiced by yet another beloved character actor. We also discuss how often Predator Episodes keep popping up, Megatron's expert manipulation skills, and the Arcee Scale of Being Done Dirty. (Spoilers, this one doesn't rank well.) Noise Sp...

Sep 11, 20221 hr 24 minSeason 3Ep. 3

S3E2: Cucked by a Copbot: The Fanzone Story

This week Jordan from the excellent Shounen Flop Podcast joins us for our first proper episodes of TFA, and we find that sometimes this show just turns into Teen Titans. This episode really goes all over the damn place, from reminiscing about pre-smartphone cell phones to shouting out experimental guitarist Buckethead, Hot Dog Crimes and cum crystals, and of course plenty of tangents about IDW. But don't worry, we know exactly what you've come to hear; the heartrending tale of the REAL reason Ca...

Sep 04, 20222 hr 6 minSeason 3Ep. 2

S3E1: All Jets Are Queens

Time to begin the first season of Transformers Animated with the three part TV movie that kicked the whole thing off, Transform and Roll Out. It's got everything you could want out of a Transformers series premier; action, jokes, lore, and GIGANTIC CHINS! Just watch out for Tom Kenny doing a racist voice (2008 was a different time) and stay tuned for the long awaited return of a Prime Cuts classic; that's right, the Cum Cannon is BACK! Noise Space | Discord...

Aug 28, 20221 hr 59 minSeason 3Ep. 1

S2E13: What if Earth was a Eucharist

Well, Prime Season 1 is officially in the rear view. Did we think it was good? Did it hold up in 2022? Yes! We also discuss the odd place the Aligned continuity holds in Transformers canon, what we think the future holds, and also give out some wonderful awards. And of course, we reveal what series we're covering for season 3! You'll NEVER guess what Nero picked! NEVER! Noise Space | Discord

Aug 14, 20221 hr 13 minSeason 2Ep. 13

S2E12: Oops! All Unicrons!

Here we are, at the end of Transformers Prime's first season. We've got everything you could want out of an explosive season finale; huge twists, cool action, crazy alliances, and one hell of a cliffhanger. We discuss Megatron's love of drama, John Noble's typecasting as shitty fathers, insane G1 plots, and plug some fanfiction. (Also sorry about all the weird buzzing in Nero's audio. They got a fancy new microphone and didn't set up the gain quite right. Whoops!) Noise Space | Discord...

Aug 07, 20221 hr 33 minSeason 2Ep. 12

S2E11: fuck it, we ball

This week Sam joins us to talk about episodes 22 and 23 of Prime Season 1. Ratchet gets lost in the Synthetic Energon sauce and becomes an absolute chad, but is he enough of a Cool Grandpa to defeat Megatron? No, probably not. Then we're ramping up to the season 1 finale, so its time for Megatron and Optimus to have a fated duel in front of an erupting volcano. Oh also Raf nearly dies, but don't worry he's fine. Noise Space | Discord...

Jul 31, 20221 hr 27 minSeason 2Ep. 11

S2E10: Just A Little Birthday Bot

This week we're joined by Ruby from Konoha Crush to discuss episodes 20 and 21 of Prime season 1. We get to see Starscream at his most pathetic, Airachnid at her most catty, and Arcee at her most vengeful. Then Prime takes the old 'dumb guy gets made artificially smart' standby and imbues it with some pretty effective pathos and medical horror. We also discuss some of the most outrageous Decepticon plans from G1, and sigh dreamily when girls are kind of evil. Now come on, you wouldn't hit a Seek...

Jul 24, 20221 hr 43 minSeason 2Ep. 10

S2E9: Vehicular Slapstick

The worst month of Starscream's life continues this week as we cover 'Metal Attraction' and 'Rock Bottom'. After an episode of magnetized shenanigans, attraction jokes, and Airachnid saying some of the gayest shit in the show so far, its time for everyone to get trapped in a cave and have A Bad Time. Why DOES Megatron keep Starscream around? What does Bulgarian Screech Metal sound like? What is going on with the weird vibes between Jack and Arcee?? We don't have all the answers, but we DO have i...

Jul 17, 20221 hr 11 minSeason 2Ep. 9

S2E8: Mr. Crimes

We've got a MECHtacular double feature this week as we cover episodes 16 and 17 of Prime season 1. Silas and his merry band of techno-fascists return, Breakdown finds himself in a Saw movie, and Airachnid shows up once more to menace her rival Arcee (in a gay way). Also the Autobots play a bit of STALKER and June realizes how big of a nerd her son is. Then she meets her future husband, who turns into a truck. Just make sure to keep an eye out for that devious Mr. Crimes while you listen, okay? N...

Jul 10, 20221 hr 21 minSeason 2Ep. 8

S2E7: D.E.A.R.E

Oooooh, we've got a pair of spine chilling spook em ups for you this week; zombies, possession, and being trapped in limbo forever, just in time for...The Fourth of July? Doesn't seem quite right. Well, while we have you here we have some pamphlets about the dangers of Dark Energon to give you, and if you come to the seminar you get a free t-shirt. All you gotta do is...hey, where are ya going!? Noise Space | Discord...

Jul 03, 20221 hr 13 minSeason 2Ep. 7

S2E6: Stupid Sexy Spider

This week its all about people who wanna kill each other (but in a little bit of a fruity way). Cassidy ( @whatiscosplay ) joins us this week to talk about the debut of the evil sexy spider lady Airachnid, as she tries to murder Arcee (but also does the Spider-Man kiss pose so you know something else is goin on there.) Also this week, Bumblebee Psychonauts his way into Megatron's mind, Soundwave has very upsetting fingers, and Jack manages to be a nerd about camping. Isn't it kinda gay to have a...

Jun 26, 20221 hr 18 minSeason 2Ep. 6

S2E5: The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Whoa, two new Decepticons! And they didn't die during their debut episode! AND they're gay??? What a treat! This week we're covering episodes 10 and 11. Miko learns a lot about Ancient Greece, a car flirts with a truck, Jack becomes involved in the world of illegal street racing, and we come to a horrible conclusion about Cybertronian bodily fluids. Noise Space | Discord

Jun 19, 20221 hr 7 minSeason 2Ep. 5

S2E4: Dingus Duty

Amogus, dingus, and Wheeljack, oh my! This week friend of the pod Argyle joins us to talk about episodes 8 and 9 of Prime's first season. First, Bulkhead's old boyfrien-I mean war buddy pops by Earth for a visit, but Starscream sends a very sus imposter to take his place and get intel on Autobase. Then Fowler calls in with D.N.G.S trouble, and the Autobots find themselves in a mid series Fast and Furious film, complete with tech obsessed Terrorists. Oh also Arcee kills a bunch of humans in this ...

Jun 05, 20221 hr 21 minSeason 2Ep. 4

S2E3: Live Laserbeak Reaction

I assure you Starscream and Megatron have a completely normal relationship. It is absolutely regular to straddle your boss' half dead form and whisper in his ear as you tear the only thing keeping him alive out of his chest. Also this week, Bumblebee commits one of the most heinous acts of violence on the show so far, Arcee and Optimus get a little bit cold, and Raf becomes a murderer. Remember. just because Soundwave is totally silent doesn't mean he isn't plotting your cancellation at all time...

May 29, 20221 hr 15 minSeason 2Ep. 3

S2E2: Doctor GILF

This week we're finishing 5 part premier of Transformers Prime, Darkness Rising. A lot happens in these two episodes, including Optimus tapping into his Bayverse incarnation's rampant bloodlust, Megatron using Starscream like a stress ball, the children nearly dying a whole lot, and Fowler being tortured so much he gets drunk. Anyway you don't care about that, you want to hear about the Prime DILF rankings and discussion about how Soundwave Likes To Watch. RIP Megatron, who certainly won't be co...

May 14, 20221 hr 13 minSeason 2Ep. 2

S2E1: Shaft Tricks

We're back with an all new season, this time covering the first season of Transformers Prime! We bring you a podcast covering Darkness Rising parts 1-3 that is nearly twice as long as the episodes themselves because Prime is Just That Good. Join us as we talk about the dangers of using devil drugs, Starscream's bottom coding, and how a 12 year old can hack into the Pentagon. And Cliffjumper is there! The whole time! As a perfectly alive guy! Noise Space | Discord...

May 08, 20221 hr 51 minSeason 2Ep. 1

S1E26: A Farewell To Arm(ada)s

Wow, its time to wrap up our first season already! Nero and Audrey look back at Transformers Armada, talking through its ups and downs while considering its strange little place in the larger Transformers franchise. Then, we go ahead and officially introduce the next season's subject; Transformers Prime season one! We go over this groundbreaking show's beginnings, its place in franchise lore, and talk about how it warped Audrey's mind irreparably. Stupid sexy Starscream... Noise Space | Discord...

Apr 24, 20221 hr 21 minSeason 1Ep. 26

S1E25: Kaonian Tuant

We've reached the end of our first season! It's time to finally deal with Unicron once and for all! (Please ignore the other two shows within this trilogy that also deal with Unicron, please). Optimus and Galvatron contend with the Chaos Bringer personally, and it gets very fleshy very fast. Of course, even after all that is through, there's still the matter of Prime and Galvatron's fated duel to be had. So join us on this ultra action packed, budget blowing, robo-homoerotic finale, and maybe yo...

Apr 17, 20221 hr 17 minSeason 1Ep. 25

S1E24: So Long Sweet Squidhead

Dearest listeners, we are gathered here once more to mourn a beloved(?) Decepticon's passing. He was a brilliant tactician [citation needed], an unmatched warrior [citation needed], and the remarkable shape of his head brought joy to many, including us. That's right, Thrust is gone...but not forgotten. Oh and some other important stuff too happened I guess. Anyway, y'all heard about this pants4pants relationship stuff? Shockwave and Jetfire are trying to make it work! Noise Space | Discord...

Apr 10, 20221 hr 1 minSeason 1Ep. 24

My Life As A Podcast Robot

We're back with another episode of your favorite podcast chronicling the classic Nick show MLAATR in reverse order! This week's show covers episodes 7 and 6 of the second season, including some real classics like "Killgore" and "Armagedroid"! And of course, all the jokes you've come to expect from MLAAPR. You know, your favorite show about robots who can turn into other things! Noise Space | Discord...

Apr 01, 202256 min

S1E23: The Ballad of Gooey Gus

Dear listeners, I have sad news. This is not a podcast episode. This is a funeral service for our favorite edgy anime bot. Good ol Starscream has been through a lot; gaslighting, swapping loyalties, being betrayed an uncountable number of times, getting sand everywhere when he went to Mars, but rest assured he is finally at peace. He fought the moon, and the moon won. He is survived by his dickhead of a commander, the earth girl he had some kind of weird thing going on with, and a tiny robot tha...

Mar 27, 20221 hr 9 minSeason 1Ep. 23

S1E22: Wheelie's Wild Ride

Betrayal! Time travel! Daring solo missions! GOOPY EGG SACS! This episode of Prime Cuts has it all! As we spiral ever closer to the end of Armada more of Unicron's ancient machinations are brought to light, alliances are forged, friendship is rekindled, and Thrust acts like a huge dipshit. Also, we add another ride to our Cybertronian Theme park, discuss Butterfly Effect type situations, and wonder if you can take your towel in the shower with you. Noise Space | Discord...

Mar 20, 20221 hr 10 minSeason 1Ep. 22

S1E21: Going Chimp Mode

This week the foul machinations of Unicron have us seeing double with the introduction of an evil Optimus clone that's basically a giant gorilla with magic powers and a huge sword. Bad news is that all our pals get absolutely curbstomped. Good news is they have fresh drip (THAT YOU CAN NOW BUY IN STORES)! Then we finally make it to Cybertron and things seem pretty dire, especially with the giant black hole attempting to consume the entire planet. Also, does anybody know where Optimus got those n...

Mar 13, 20221 hr 32 minSeason 1Ep. 21

S1E20: WWOPD?

Excuse me, but do you have time to hear about our lord and savior Optimus Prime? Did you know that after three episodes he was risen? Well here, I have a podcast for you to listen to. This week we're covering episodes 41 and 42 of Transformers Armada. Things are picking up as we enter the final stage of this show. Unicron is FINALLY mentioned by name, the Autobots build the galaxy's most phallic spaceship, the Minicons perform a Christian Space Miracle, and Rad's father displays some of the most...

Mar 06, 20221 hr 22 minSeason 1Ep. 20

S1E19: You...are a freak

Armada is hurtling towards its conclusion, so you know what that means; its time to kill Optimus Prime! There's nothing that dude loves more than a heroic sacrifice that leaves a generation of children traumatized. We've also got some primo Thrust and Megatron scenes, cool space stunts, extreme angst, and a final act mcguffin out of nowhere! Join us as we record one of the MANY deaths of Optimus Prime this week on Prime Cuts! Noise Space | Discord...

Feb 27, 20221 hr 24 minSeason 1Ep. 19

S1E18: Going Palpatine Mode

Sorry folks, when there's a planet destroying spaceship in play the Star Wars references just sort of happen. This week Starscream reaches the "double-doublecross" stage of his Sasuke arc, Alexis learns what depression is, Thrust tells Starscream the tale of Darth Plagueis, and Megatron lovingly strokes the Requiem Blaster. We are officially in The Good Bit of Transformers Armada, so strap the fuck in. Noise Space | Discord...

Feb 13, 20221 hr 13 minSeason 1Ep. 18

S1E17: Tantrum Hole

Starscream is in what the experts (us) call his 'Sasuke Phase' this week, as he angsts about his changing loyalties, clashing with the Autobot philosophy, and getting his entire ass pulled off by Tidal Wave. Also features exciting base invasions, Mars field trips with your snippy ex-boyfriend, Sideways putting all sorts of ideas in Thrust's cone-shaped head, and Tidal Wave being too thicc for the Tantrum Hole. Noise Space | Discord...

Feb 06, 20221 hr 30 minSeason 1Ep. 17

S1E16: Eraserhead Baby: Origins

We're in the back half of Transformers Armada now and we've finally reached what we like to call The Good Stuff(tm). This week they kill a bot on live TV, Sideways continues to be a creepypasta, Optimus gives Shockwave top surgery, Starscream finally becomes the tragic anime edgelord he was always meant to be, and we lose all of our subscribers by posting Megatron/Thrust on main. Speaking of Thrust, did you know he was the Eraserhead baby? Well don't worry, we'll tell you all about it. Noise Spa...

Jan 30, 20221 hr 22 minSeason 1Ep. 16

S1E15: Ya rascal!

Strap in for a jam packed triple episode edition of Prime Cuts as we cover Armada's only true two parter. The kids spirit away the Space Minicon Team for some Home Alone type nonsense, then Hot Shot gets a blast from the past. Also, Alexis is set down her path to become the first Gamer Girl President, we talk at length about Wheeljack's incredibly stupid weapons, make far too many Metal Gear jokes, and discuss how quickly Starscream would be arrested for fraud if he was the manager of a Cinnabon...

Jan 23, 20221 hr 37 minSeason 1Ep. 15
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