We've talked about the importance of not just delaying all gratification , but finding the gratification , finding the joy in each and every single day . Now for the second part . Guys , how do we do that ? So we're saying , listen , we're going to make time for joy every single day .
Well , we , to do that , we have to make time for you , we have to make time for yourself , time for what matters to you and your schedule . And so we must set the boundaries , you and your schedule . And so we must set the boundaries . We must set healthy , functional , personalized boundaries and get clear on our own personal priorities .
I had a student who was going to Berkeley and this student felt like they weren't enjoying Berkeley . Oh how you loving Berkeley . I love Berkeley . They got Cetaholic up there with the cinnamon rolls . It's like a great , like hippie culture .
There's always a bunch of weirdos out Like it's just , it's great , always something to see , and they're like well , I haven't really had to see much of the campus . It's been so busy . I'm like what are ? And so she's having a tough time . She's all by herself , and so I'm constantly driving back there . Sometimes I go during the week . I'm there all weekend .
I'm like wait what ? I'm like why are you doing that ? You're not enjoying that . No , I'm not enjoying it . But my mom it's important to my mom and I can't tell you how obviously . But if it's not serving you , if it's not healthy for you , you got to put up a boundary and you got to prioritize you and what makes you feel good .
If you're working hard , right as a pre-med , as a college student , you need that weekend for you and your fun time . So it's very critical , it's very crucial that you guys learn to say no .
Sometimes , and it's okay People might get their feelings hurt , but their hurt feelings are not your fault , because you're preserving your feelings and sometimes that's collateral damage , but you're not hurting them . They just feel hurt . There's a difference .
So it's about making sure you have the fun in your life and the relaxation in your life to thrive in your academics and build your career . So how do we do this ? How do we set these boundaries ? Well , the first thing is learn to say no y'all .
And when it comes to saying no and focusing on your studies , it's not about being antisocial , it's about managing your time effectively , and so I'm a person I don't like a lot of people around me , so for me , this is really easy .
But for some of you guys , maybe you love to be around people , but it's about finding the right people to be around in the right environment , and so I did a video on this a while back . I'll link in the description below . But I talked about Joko . Who knows what Joko is Joko ?
Right , learning to say no and the power of no is going to switch you from FOMO to Joko . What are my Joko people at ? What does Joko mean ? Right ? Yes , there we go . Perfect Joy of consciously opting out . Many students , maybe you experience FOMO . Oh my gosh , I'm going to miss out . I'm going to miss out . I'm going to miss out . What if I miss out ?
It's a fear of missing out . Instead , I want you guys to develop the joy of consciously opting out . I'm choosing to opt out of that because I'm choosing to opt into something better for me . Does that make sense ? We're not passively sitting back and subconsciously being led to do certain things .
We're consciously and critically thinking about every single second we spend . Is this the most fun I can have ? Is this what I want to do ? First and foremost ? Joko , joko , y'all the joy of consciously opting out . So check out that whole video .
I won't belabor the point , but I have a super great video all about Joko and y'all the joy of consciously opting out . So check out that whole video . I won't belabor the point , but I have a super great video all about Joko and how to cultivate that .
When it comes to saying no and really maximizing that Joko , to be able to do that and not have this fear of missing out , the next step and actually I guess the baseline step to doing that saying no is that we have to get clear on our priorities and we have to prioritize what matters to us . It's the key to being a Joko person .
The joy of constantly helping out is that you have to get clear on who you are , what you like to do , what hobbies you want , what activities you want to be involved in , and not letting everything else and let other people plan your life for you .
That way , you know no , this is what matters to me , this is what's going to be the most fun to me , and you don't have to worry about what's happening over there , because I know what I wanna do right now is be at this party in Santa Barbara living my life . I'm not worried about that , or you know what ?
I'm having a great time right now walking the beach . I'm not worried about that party because I'm walking the beach . So you get to choose what you need in that moment . So we prioritize what matters to us through that prioritization and this is not just , we're not talking about priorities of your work , I'm talking about priorities of your personal life .
Right , right , right . You got a bunch of friends . Which friends are the top of the call list ? Who is a , for sure , surefire , great time , someone you just vibe with , you get along with . That person needs to be on the schedule way more than the guy who's like sometimes he's cool , other times he's like I don't know .
Right , pick the right people , prioritize your personal lives . Then , once you do this , like I said , scheduled , structured fun time in big , bold , crazy , colorful letters on your schedule should be your fun time , should be the time reserved for you to enjoy yourself . Why ?
Because then , when we look at our schedule , we're not overwhelmed by the work we have to do . We're overjoyed with all the opportunity for fun and excitement and love and laughter that we have cultivated and that is available and is already scheduled on my calendar . Like , yes , I'm hanging out with Joe this weekend , freaking Joe's awesome man .
He has the funniest jokes . We can get hype about hanging out with Joe the Joke man . We can get hype hanging out with I don't know freaking super supportive Sally , I don't know right .
You can get hype about what's on your calendar and it can motivate you and it can drive you Say I'm going to put this work in because I want to have uninterrupted Joe time , I want to have uninterrupted Sally time . It'll motivate you by putting it on the schedule . So we make sure that we put . We don't just say , oh not , we don't just have only studying .
We make sure we put in that fun time and we make sure not only is it fun time , we know what we're doing during that fun time so we can visualize it , we can make it more real and this is the key right , because we're trying to do this delayed gratification thing , but we're trying to build the joy in we can live that future joy .
It's called anticipation . Let's take a step sidetrack . Anticipation is amazing . It can literally change the physiology of your body , anticipating something , physiology of your body anticipating something .
For many of us , as students , we live in a state of anticipatory anxiety where we are constantly anticipating some badness happening and , as a result , we live with all this anxiety . What I want you guys to do is flip the script and live with anticipatory excitement , anticipatory joy .
That you look at your calendar , you look at your life and you say , man , what's the next cool thing I got coming up , what's the next exciting thing I have coming up ? And we live that one moment of excitement , that one vacation . We live it for a month before the vacation . We're living it . Oh yeah , man , it's going to be so sweet .
I'm going to the beach . Oh yeah , it's going to be like . That's the way we're living our lives . We're anticipating the excitement . We're not anticipating the negative . We're anticipating the positive things we have in our lives . So we put that on our schedule .
That way we can do that and we can facilitate making it real for ourselves and we can visualize that pot of gold at the end of our hard work week of a rainbow of a hard work . Okay , for you guys , right now I want to take a second . All right , I mentioned how we're going to be active here . Right ? This is live action . Is everybody here with me ?
Live action , if we live action , you better comment in response to this right now . Quick exercise you guys right now , write down one academic and one social priority you have for the next month . What's one big academic or professional thing you got going on right now ? What's one way you could be better socially , personally , that you could have more fun ?
And let's find a way . Let's say listen , how are we going to work to balance them and then share with us in the box . Thank you all for it . I appreciate your commenting right Comment about the mail on our loan . Share with us how you're going to blend these two things . How are you going to maximize your fun so that you can maximize your success ?
How are you going to ? What are you going to swap out ? What are you going to get rid of , right ? What are you going to bring in ? What are you going to amplify up ? What are we going to be doing for our fun ? Right , as we talked about , maybe you have an exam coming up and you like get the MCAT coming up . Oh , my gosh , get the MCAT .
I can't enjoy life . Well , wait a minute . How can we build fun into the prep ? We want our MCAT prep to be a fun time because without the time with our family , without the time with our friends . Without the time to enjoy ourselves , how the heck are we going to be high level , how are we not going to be worn down by the time ? He's an MCAT ?
We've got to build in that fun time . So , for your MCAT even , how are you going to build in some fun , some breaks , some rejuvenation into your MCAT program ? Because I spilled on my face . Don't worry about that water splashing out of there . We live action y'all . Okay , put it in the box right now . Dejount starts taking notes on Costanzo physiology .
Dejount can say that because he's starting med school in a couple months here . Very excited for him . Congratulations , dejount , starting medical school . So he's going to be doing Costanzo physiology , getting up on his physiology . So he's ready to start medical school . Bull go , all right , let's pivot . Key point number three Are you guys all still with me ?
All right , let's pivot . Key point number three Are you guys all still with me ? We having some fun , we having fun here . Is this your scheduled fun time for today , hanging out with me ? You have to excuse my voice . Like I said , I've been partying all weekend , partying hard with the kids in Miami . We had a great time .