Teaching | Yes/No | Garden City E04

Hello and welcome to the John Mark Homer teachings podcast. My name is Yinka Dawson and I'm your host. Each week we feature teachings by John Mark or other voices in the formation space and it's great to have you with us. We're continuing our Garden City series this week with a teaching from John Mark on the importance of saying no. If we're going to say our deepest yes to the calling that God has given us, it means we need to practice saying no to other things.

so that we can live with focus, avoid the trap of business and embrace a life that is truly life. Here's John Monk. Turning your Bibles to the Gospel of Mark chapter 1. Mark chapter 1. If you're new or you're visiting, first off, welcome. Really happy you're here. My name is John Mark. I'm one of the leaders at Bridgetown. Secondly, we're in the middle of this series that we are calling Garden City. And to recap the series, here's what we have been learning as a community.

First off, that we are made in the image of God, meaning we were made as human beings to rule over the world, to gather up the raw materials of planet Earth, and to carve out a garden-like city that the Bible opens with a command to make. culture. Like that's actually a command that you and I walk with every single day. And from the beginning of the story, what God had in mind was civilization, a large, healthy, thriving, garden-like city. It's what we see at the end.

of the scriptures. And with civilization comes specialization, meaning each one of us has a special and unique role to play in humanity. And usually the word used for this is vocation. Now our working definition for vocation over the last couple of weeks was this, our God-given identity and calling. Identity, meaning there is somebody that God made you to be, and calling, there is something that God made you to do. And the hope...

for this series, at least for a lot of you, is to unlock that part of you and unleash it out into the world. Now, last week we left off on this idea that all of this conversation is really, at the end of the day, about following Jesus. That becoming, we had a teaching last week on becoming really good at whatever it is you do. And we made the point at the end that becoming a really good designer or architect or chef or fashionista or blogger, writer or thing or mom or dad.

whatever it is that you do or are in route to and becoming more like Jesus of Nazareth are one and the same thing that everything is spiritual. Everything matters to Jesus and we work and we get hope. hopefully really good at whatever it is we do over a lifetime as an act, not of hubris or pride, or I want to make money or get famous, but as an act of discipleship to Jesus. Now, I want to pick up right where we left off last week, and I just want to tag on.

one thing, right? So we are disciples of Jesus. You all know what that word disciples means? I talk about this a lot here. It means you're a student, or really I think the best translation in English is this word apprentice. We are a disciple or a student or an apprentice.

apprentice of Jesus. Meaning we believe that Jesus was the son of God. We also believe that he was a rabbi or a teacher and that he was really good at his job. He was, I would argue, the best teacher to ever live. And a lot of us don't actually think about Jesus this way as a worker or an employee. He was self-employed. He was the definition of self-employed. He was God, but he was really good at his job, but he was. And this rabbi, this teacher, Jesus, we are his

disciples or his apprentices. We want to learn from Jesus how to live, how to live well. And for the purposes of this series, we want to learn from Jesus how to work and how to work well. And so we made the point last week that Jesus was really good at his job and we want to become the exact same kind of people. Now, I just want to tag on to that one other thought about how Jesus works.

Jesus became really good at his job. There's a ton we could say about Jesus and work, but for tonight, I just want to point out one more thing. It's one thing that we see all over the life of Jesus and that we have to master in our discipleship to Jesus, and that is this. Jesus knew how to say no. Some of you already feel the guilt coming on. That's right. Just feel it. Just wade into it. Shame.

embarrassment. That's all. That's what I'm going for here tonight. No, I'm kidding. Jesus knew how to say no. Mark chapter one, verse nine. At that time, Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John and the Jordan. Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven saying, you are my son whom I love with you. This is the first story we ever read about Jesus.

And in it, Jesus has an encounter with God. He goes into the waters of the Jordan River. And when he comes back out, there's a voice from heaven. It's torn open. This is my son. You are my son whom I love. With you, I am well pleased.

Now, Son of God wasn't just a way of saying that Jesus had a special relationship with the Father, although that's true. But in the Scriptures, in particular what we now call the Old Testament, Son of God was a name for Israel, and over time it became a name for the Messiah, a king-like figure on the horizon. who would draw Israel's story to its climax and usher in what first century Jews called the kingdom of God.

So this right here is a watershed moment for Jesus where he gets a crystal clear sense of his vocation, his identity. You are my son and his calling, son of God, Messiah, usher in the kingdom of God. And then... Armed with a vocation, he goes out into the world. Skip down to 14. After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of the gospel of God. The time has come, he said. The kingdom of God has come near.

repent and believe the good news. So Jesus goes out into Israel. He's preaching the gospel or the good news that the kingdom of God is at hand, and he is an overnight success. Skip down to 35. in between in chapter 1 is about Jesus' first day on the job. It's long. It's a marathon day. And then he goes to sleep, and we read this story, 35. Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up.

left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him. And when they found him, they exclaimed, everyone is looking for you. So... Jesus is an overnight success, right? And word spreads like crazy. Hey, there's this new rabbi. He's teaching evocative.

stunning new things. He's saying the kingdom of God, what we've been waiting for for hundreds of years, that it's here, it's at hand, it's breaking in. You've got to come hear this guy. And so Jesus was a morning person, but we still like him. And he... gets up early and he goes out, rather than sleep in after a long, hard day's work, he gets up early, goes out to be alone with God.

A couple of hours later, the disciples come and find Jesus. Hey, great news, Jesus. Everybody is looking for you. Like you are so popular right now. You're trending on Twitter. It's like hashtag son of God. You're a huge deal right now. Kimmel wants you for the late show. The Times wants an op-ed. You are blowing up, Jesus. You are blowing up. This is great news. Everybody is looking for you. But watch what happens. Jesus replied, 38. Let us go somewhere else.

to the nearby villages, so that I can preach there also. That's why I have come. That's Jesus for no. Hey, Jesus. Come, everybody's after you. We need you back in town. No. What? Yeah, I need to go to the next village. To the next village? Like, wait, but this is a great opportunity. No, that's Jesus for now.

Now, this is a pattern that we see all through the life of Jesus. This is Jesus' second day on the job. Will you know? We see this pattern. Will you know? Will you know? Will you know? All over the Gospel of Mark. the gospel of Luke, the gospel of John, all over the life of Jesus. We see him saying no to really good opportunities on a regular basis.

You know, often we talk about all the stuff that Jesus did, healing the sick and casting out demons or preaching the gospel and death and resurrection, all of that, and that's great, but it's easy to gloss over or ignore all of the stuff that Jesus did not do. Jesus, will you go down to the south? No. Will you go outside of Israel? No. Will you talk to this woman who's not? No. Will you arbitrate between these two brothers? No. Will you feed these? No. No. No. No. He did all this amazing stuff.

There's a ton of stuff he did not do. Turn over to the Gospel of John, chapter 17. Fast forward from the beginning to the end of Jesus' life. This story here, John 17, is... a couple of hours, literally, before Jesus' death on the cross. We read this. After Jesus said this, he looked towards heaven and he prayed, Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son that your Son may glorify you. Now listen to this.

I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. Let's read that again. I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work You gave me to do. Turn the page over to chapter 19. Skip down to verse. 28, fast forward a day or two later, this is literally hours, I'm sorry, minutes before Jesus' last breath. We read this, John 19, 28. Later, knowing that everything had been finished,

And so that scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, I am thirsty. A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, read this out loud with me, it is finished. With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. How could Jesus say that? It is finished. The world is a black hole of need.

The disciples were in hiding. Peter was apostate. The church was 120 people on a good day. The New Testament wasn't even written yet. Jesus was unknown outside of Israel. In Israel the religious leadership was hostile to Jesus. The world was still in shambles. injustice all over the place, violence, war, nationalism, religious hypocrisy and pride, unbelief in God. It was a wreck. And then here's Jesus. Last breath, his dying words, it's finished. I'm done. I'm done. Listen, Jesus...

had so much clarity around his vocation, around his identity. This is who I am and his calling. This is what I am supposed to do with my life. So much clarity that with insane focus, Jesus said yes to that vocation. And then he said no to everything else. There's a line in the Gospel of Luke I had to cut out for time, but where we read that Jesus, and in my translation, it set his face to go to Jerusalem. That was that.

An ancient idiom set his face, meaning it's that image of like eyes straight ahead, jaws clamped down. You don't turn to the right. You don't turn to the left. You are like on the hunt. That was Jesus. set his face to go to Jerusalem with that, his death and his resurrection. That's how he lived. All this focus, he knew exactly, this is what I'm saying yes to.

And because of that, this is what I'm saying no to, and this, and this, and this, and this. And he got to the end of his life, and he was able to say, I have finished the work that the Father gave me to do.

It's finished. I'm done. How beautiful and compelling is that? You know, most of us don't live this way. Am I right? I'm right. Most of us are over busy. How are you? What do people say? Busy. Like busy has become a moniker for important. When we say I'm busy, we mean I matter, I'm cool, I have a good job, I'm in school, I'm popular, I'm whatever. I'm insecure, whatever, however you interpret that. I'm busy, you know?

When was the last time you asked somebody, how are you? And they just said, I'm bored. I can't remember the last time I was bored. I think I was about eight and I was a homeschooler with two sisters. And it was like. You can only take so much of the living room and Legos, you know? How are you? I'm busy. Most of us are over busy, stressed out. Our schedule is way over capacity.

I mean, we live in the city and I love the city to death, but in an urban environment, it's noisy. There's traffic and congestion. And frankly, there's just so much to do in this city. A new restaurant opens every week. A new band is in town every weekend.

Plus, it's the digital age. We have an iPhone and Wi-Fi and social media and updates and alerts and e-commerce and Visa. Plus, we have more wealth than any other generation ever. And so with that comes shopping and travel. Where should we go on vacation this summer and whatever?

Plus, we have labor-saving devices, which is just a horrific phrase for technology. I mean, back in the day, some of you are like, you're out of college, you're in your first job. So back in the 90s, we had this thing called an office. And you used to actually go there, like you actually...

Got in a car or on your bicycle or on the max, and you would go to a building. It was brick and mortar, and there were people there, and you actually had to be there at a certain time. It's just a crazy thing, way before most of your day. So now we carry the office around in our back pocket.

Like to go to the office, you don't have to commute anywhere. All you have to do is roll over in the morning in bed and unlock your phone. And boom, there's an email. There's a text. There's a thing. This is the world that we live in. And what happens is that we get sick. sucked into the vortex of busyness. Now I get that there's a full gamut of personality here.

And we're all over the, you know, socio-demographic and all that stuff. So some of you are type A, workaholic, you're in a career, you're a driver, and so you're way over busy with stuff like that. Others of you are lazy. You don't call it that. You say you're laid back.

but you're lazy. And you know what I mean? So you're way busy too, but it's like with... breaking bad on netflix like or whatever like you just this and that and hang out with friends and chill and you're like man i got like my second beer of the night with joe i'm so busy you know whatever it is

So wherever you fall on that, and that's always hard for me, like in all honesty, because I've, you know what I mean? Like every time I talk about work, some of you need to hear like work more. Others of you need to hear work less. And usually the wrong people hear the right thing. Does that make sense? You know what I mean?

mean? That's a whole other issue I don't have time for, but so I get that we're all over the spectrum there and that's okay. And that's not a slam on any of you on either side. My point is that whether you come at it from workaholism or from laziness, Most of us are over busy. And there is a kind of busyness, guys, that goes past our schedule and into our soul. We're into our state of being.

I read this quote by Dallas Willard last summer that just wrecked me. It's this quote, Busyness is the great enemy of spiritual life. Busyness. Not greed or materialism. or discontentment, not sexual immorality or lust or adultery, not doubt or unbelief or secularism, busyness. It's the great enemy of spiritual life.

I mean, emotionally, and hopefully you have the wisdom to see this by now, but emotionally the byproduct of busyness is anger and anxiety. So here's when you know when you're over busy. You feel in this kind of... ongoing state of anger or agitation. You're quick-tempered. You snap easier. You're more sarcastic. You're more critical. You get frustrated. You get angry. You get annoyed more often. This is clearly you, not me. I don't have a problem with this at all. Shut up.

And then the other is anxiety. You feel stressed out. You feel on edge. You feel... It's hard for you to sleep at night. You toss and you turn. Your mind is just racing all the time. There's not a lot of mental self-control. You're thinking about what if this, that, the other. You worry like this. These are the signs of an over busy life.

But spiritually, the byproduct is even worse. You feel a disconnect from God. And here's why. God is not busy. He's not. Or put another way, God is not in a hurry. It's a great line in Galatians 5, which is fast becoming one of my favorite passages in the New Testament, where Paul writes, keep in step with the Spirit, or walk at the same pace as the Spirit.

But so often we lag behind in laziness or most of the time we rush ahead of the spirit and we just get up to this frenetic go, go, go pace. I'm kind of type A. I'm driver. That's how I am. I have learned the hard way that I cannot go really fast and walk in the Spirit. I just cannot. If I want to walk in the Spirit, I have to slow the pace of my life down.

with Sabbath, and then even hour to hour, moment to moment. I have to slow the pace of my life down, not to a lethargic pace, but to a walk with Jesus. And so...

For all sorts of reasons, we just get sucked into this busyness and we feel a disconnect from God and we uncouple from love and joy and peace and the disposition of the kingdom. The reality is that we are trying. to do too much. Peter Drucker, I don't normally quote from the business world. All of you people in business are like, yeah, you're about to quote Peter Drucker. He's a famous guy.

business writer, who's kind of a prophet for the late modern age, and he was also a follower of Jesus. I just love this quote. He writes this, in a few hundred years, when the history of our time will be written from a long-term perspective, it is likely that the most important event historians will see is not technology,

Not the internet, not e-commerce. It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time, literally, substantial and rapidly growing numbers of people have choices. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves, and society is totally unprepared for it. He's right. We have more choices. We have more options than ever before. I mean, rewind a century, which is a blip. on the radar screen of human history rewind one century and there you had no phone he imagined that

You had no internet, no Wi-Fi. You had no email. You had no social media. You had no Netflix account. You had no TV. The odds are you lived on a farm, not in the city. You would work most of the day. When the sun started to go down, you would go. inside with your family. You had one. You lived there for a very long time, and it wasn't because you were a slacker. You ate dinner with your family. The sun would go down, and then maybe you would read, or if you wanted to, maybe you would read.

And then you would go to sleep or something else. We wonder why people used to have a lot more kids. Like there wasn't a lot to do, people. There wasn't a lot to do. Even if you were not religious. You would take a Sabbath on Sunday because the entire nation, for the most part, shut down.

You made not a ton of money, just enough to eat, hopefully, and drink and buy clothing. And if you were really lucky, maybe a little bit extra. Travel was not a thing. It was not an option to get on a plane and go to Kauai for vacation. That wasn't even an option. just live a very simple life. Now, I'm not saying that it was better back in the day. I have no desire to, like, go churn my own butter. New Seasons is great. I don't want to commute on a horse like I'm...

My bicycle is fine. Like, thank you. I'm great. I'm not saying it was better back then. All I'm saying is that now more than ever before, we have choices. And you think, well, yeah, I'm not a millionaire. I'm not. Yeah, but we have so much, if not money, then time and energy.

information and access and entertainment and technology and choices and you can go anywhere and you can be anything and go to school here that you can be. We have so many choices and that's not a bad thing at all. It's a good thing. But it means that we have to, in Drucker's language, self-manage. We have to actually learn how to be mature, novel concept, and how to live and how to live well. And most of us don't know how.

It's what happens in the church a lot. You get all these people that love Jesus deeply, but whose life is really immature and dysfunctional and all kind of out of whack. We need to learn from Jesus how to live and how to live well, which means we need to do two things if you're taking notes. First off, we need to figure out what to say yes to. All right, before we can talk about what to say no to, that's in a minute. First, step one, you have to figure out what to say yes to.

Or put another way, what is your vocation? What is your identity? What is, at a generic level, you're a son or a daughter of God, and a specific level, who God made you, you only to be. What is your calling? What do you feel like God shaped you to unleash into the world? And obviously we're all over the map here. Some of you are 14, 15, 16. You have no clue what your vocation is yet. That's great. You're not supposed to yet. It takes time.

time. Stay with it. Right now, your vocation, if you're 15 or 20 or 25 and you're not clear on it yet, right now your vocation is to figure out your vocation. That's it. Call that college or call it mentorship or call it reading a lot or call it listening prayer or call it community. Hopefully call it all of the above. Right now, your vocation is to figure out your vocation. It's a fantastic season of life for you to walk with and discover your identity.

discover your calling and out of that discover your vocation in life. And then a ton of you, you know, some of you are like, have a basic idea. Others of you have been at it now for a decade, two, three, four, and you like know exactly who you are, exactly what God made you for. You know what you are trying to accomplish with your short life span here. Like you get it.

right? So wherever you're at in that spectrum, the key is step one, you start by saying yes. You figure out what is my yes, because you can't do it all. There are 24 hours in a day. eight of which we need to sleep. There are seven days in a week, one of which is the Sabbath. That's all you have, and life is short. You can't do it all. You can't be it all. You can't see it all.

Can't experience it all. Can't buy it all. Can't travel to it all. Can't hang out with it all. You're human. You're not God. You're not omnipresent. You have a body. You live on a planet in time and space. And that's not a bad thing. It's a beautiful thing. But you have to figure out, what am I going to say yes to with my one short, wild?

life, what is it that I'm going to say yes to? You know, there's a saying that I hate so much. Guys, you know this saying. It's jack of all trades, master of none. You know that? It's what guys say. Imagine your dad or your uncle or handyman in the family or whatever comes over. The toilet's broken or whatever. Get back there. Fix it. And every guy says it. You know me. I'm a jack of all trades. Master of none. Ha, ha, ha.

Hate that. I just hate it so much. One, it's dumb. But two, it just, far too many people don't have something they're really good at. Do you know that's actually a misquote? The original saying, we think, goes back to Benjamin Franklin. And what he or somebody actually said was, here's the real quote, Jack of all trades, master of one.

Not none, one. So the original idea was that every man, every woman, should be a jack-of-all-trades. Like, sure, you want to take four hours and research lion prides on the internet? Great. Have at it. Like, there goes your Friday night. Okay. You want to dabble? You want to read widely? You want to research some random thing? Great. Awesome. You want to take a class in, like, Cuban cooking? Like, okay, great. Have fun.

But every man, every woman should be a master of one. There should be at least one thing that you are a master of, a craftsman of. You're an expert. in your field. You're a scholar in that discipline. You're a black belt. You are a maestro. Now, your one thing might be really narrow, like Egyptology. Yes, that's a thing. Or crepe baking or... photography or whatever, or it might be really broad, like leadership or starting businesses or children or whatever. That's great. The point is...

And I think there's great wisdom in that. Every one of you should have something that over the course of a lifetime, you become a master of. But guess what? That's not easy. To become a master of anything, you have to say yes to that. You have to devote a lifetime of commitment, hard work, dedication, self-discipline. You have to say yes to that.

So that's the starting point. First, you figure out what's my thing going to be? What's my life going to be about? What's my vocation? You say yes to that. And then after that, then we need to learn to say no. All the time. Not just to bad things, to good things, to really good things. Oh, that's great, but no, I'm sorry, that's not my identity. Yeah, but I'm sorry, that's great, but that's not my calling.

Oh, yeah, oh, that would be so much fun. Are you serious? That sounds amazing to go to Greece with you. But, you know, that's just not, that's not what I'm saying yes to with my life.

We have to say no. Now, before we wind down, here's a few thoughts on saying no if you're taking notes. This next part, in fact, a chunk of this teaching is not really from the Bible. This is more a wisdom teaching. So most of the time, if you're new, we teach the scriptures.

line by line. That's the plan for next weekend. But at times we just take a breath and we ask the question, how do we practice the way of Jesus in Portland, Oregon? Like how do we be Jesus people here and now? So on that note, just a couple of thoughts on how to. say, no, first off, start with your identity and calling.

And then build an ideal schedule around that. So what I do when I sit down with young people or people who are stressed out, need balance or clarity or whatever, I just say, okay, get out a blank sheet of paper. Or open up your laptop, a blank iCal sheet for a month or whatever, and write in a schedule, your ideal schedule. In a perfect world, this is what my week would look like, this is what my month would look like, this is what my year would look like.

We don't live in a perfect world. I know all of that. But just start there. And start not just with, hey, what sounds fun? Start with your vocation, with your identity, with your calling. So who are you? Basic stuff. Are you introvert? Are you extrovert? I'm an extrovert. Well, then you need to schedule time in to go hang out with your friends. I'm an introvert. You need to schedule time in to be alone and think and read and be depressed. You need to, um, whatever schedule in.

You know what I mean? And put your stuff there. Put work there. Put Sabbath on it. Put a chunk of time every single day to read the scriptures and pray and be with God. It's right there at my schedule. If you're a reader, put that time in to read. Put community in there so you do life in community, not alone. Tuesday night, missional community, 630 to...

10 or whatever it is. Whatever your life is, whatever you're saying yes to, put that in there and start by saying, yes, this is what I want to give my life to. And remember, for those of you that are more of a free spirit,

Schedule, all it is is a plan to live well. It's a map to get you where you need to go. Without a schedule, without a map, you know, you take wrong turns, we get lost, and we maybe don't end up at the right place at all, or we end up at the wrong place, or we end up at the right place, but four hours later... A schedule, all it is is a way to live on purpose, not on accident. And you have to get to your schedule first.

before your college friend who's in town for the weekend, before your random aunt, uncle, before whatever, you have to get there first. Put another way, you have to be proactive, not reactive. So many people's schedules are reactive, meaning they... spend most of their time doing what other people want them to do. And that's not all bad. Some of that's life, but it goes way too far. So secondly,

Don't get sucked into the tyranny of the urgent. I love that phrase. It is so great. The tyranny of the urgent. What happens, right? We just get sucked into...

This needs to be done, and this needs to be done, and so-and-so just called. I need to text that person back and email this person back. Oh my gosh, there's a paper due, and I got to get there, and I need to go shopping, and oh, so-and-so wants to hang out, and we just get sucked in to all of this stuff. And some of that is life, and it's unavoidable.

But what happens is that the urgent is not always the same thing as the important. In fact, sometimes they are at odds with each other. And next thing you know, you wake up and a week has gone by or a month has gone by or a year has gone by. or a life has gone by, and all you've done is managed chaos. You never got around to what was important.

You never really got around to your vocation, to your identity, to your call. Watch out for that. Third, we have to care about God's approval more than others' approval. And take that with a grain of salt. I mean... That would be really easy for you to misinterpret. But there is, here's what I mean. There is an intense emotional and social pressure to say yes to every request. Sure, I'll be at that birthday. Sure, I'll be at that.

Wedding shower, the fourth one this week. Sure, I'll be at that baby thing. Sure, I'll be at graduation for... your third cousin's nephew. Sure. I'm there. Like I'm there for you. It means a lot to me. Okay. I'm there. Sure. I'll do this. Sure. I'll volunteer for that. Sure. I'll fill in for whatever. And that's not all bad. We are here to love and to serve. Jesus said, the son of man.

came not to be served, but to serve. Like, okay, that's great. But remember, loving and even serving someone and pleasing someone are not always the same thing. If you're a parent, you know that better than anybody. Sometimes the best, the worst thing you can do for your child is please your child. And the best thing you can do to love them and to serve them is to say, no, this is actually what really matters. The hard truth.

and this is just not fun to talk about, but is you will disappoint somebody. The question is not will you, but who do you want to disappoint? Like there's got to be somebody. There's too many demands on your time. So who is that? care about God's approval. We don't want God to be the one who at the end of the day says, oh man, really? No? Okay. Man, that's not right.

Fourth and last is this, and it's really easy to say and really hard to do. Pause before you say yes to anything. Whenever I have an idea of something I want to do, I get a request for a meeting or a coffee or travel or trip or whatever. I do my best. to pause. I like to wait, if at all possible, 24 hours before I say yes or no, if I can, just to sleep on it. Because in that moment, there's intense emotional and social pressure to say yes. Usually the next day, I'm more level-headed.

Either way, every time you make a decision, just remember there are 24 hours in a day, eight of which you sleep. There are seven days in a week, one of which is the Sabbath. There's only so much you can do. So every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. That's basic mathematics. Now we all want to like...

fit it all in. Like, oh, sure, well, I was going to do this. That's okay. I'll just make it work. I'll just fit it in, which is code for I'll just be really stressed out. But there's 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. So when you say yes to something, that's great. That means by default you're saying no to something else. So what is it you're saying no to? Like another night of Netflix? Great, say yes. Time with God.

Your family, developing your gift or talent to one day launch a career out. Like, what is it that you're saying no to? You're saying no to something. Emotional health, sleep, just... another game of checkers? Like, what is it that, I don't know how you roll. I mean, maybe it's a thing, right? No, it's not a thing. All right. What is it that you are saying?

no to. The point is, or my point here, is pause before you make a decision and ask yourself, okay, before I say yes to this or no, is this my vocation? Is this my identity? Is this who I am? Is this my calling? In the language of Jesus, is this the work the Father gave me to do? If yes, say yes. And if no, say no. And remember that life is short. I just feel like I need to say that over and over again tonight.

Life is short. There are 24 hours in a day. There are seven days in a week. Most of us will live 70, 80, 90 years. That's it. That's all we get. We can't do it all. And guess what? That's not a bad thing. That's a good thing. We have to let go. We have to accept with joy and humility. We have to submit to our vocation.

This is who God made me to be. That's an amazing life so-and-so is over there living. That's not my life. That's an incredible story so-and-so is. That's not my story. Man, that person is, but that's not who I am. With humility and joy, gratitude and worship, we have to accept our identity and our calling and our life and live and live well.

Now, to end, turn over to Philippians. I just want to read one more scripture to you. Philippians chapter 1. This is a little bit later after Jesus' resurrection. If you've never read the New Testament, Philippians was written by a...

kind of master apprentice to Jesus, this guy named Paul. And he writes this letter to the church in Philippi. And there's a prayer in the opening chapter. And I just love it as we talk about what to say yes to and what to say no to. Obviously, to do that well takes a ton of time. of wisdom, right? I love what Paul prays here. Philippians chapter one, verse nine. And this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.

Okay, we get that love, knowledge, depth of insight. Listen, so that, here's why, you may be able to discern, or that can be translated, you may have wisdom to know what is best. and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. Paul's prayer for his friends in Philippi is that they would be able to discern what is best.

The word best from Greek to English can be translated best or excellent or of most value or what really matters. The idea is to determine what is head and shoulders above the rest. Not what is good, but what is best. I love that saying, good is the enemy of best. You know that? So much wisdom in that. Good is the enemy of best. So often our lives are over full with all sorts of good things. Not bad things. Good things. Good people. Good relationships. Good justice stuff.

good work stuff, good time, good entertainment, good food, good whatever, all this good stuff. But is it the best stuff? Is it the best thing to say yes to? Dieter Rams, who's one of my favorite designers. If you're all into design, he's an icon. Basically, the entire Apple aesthetic is all based on his work. He's still alive, actually, but he's winding down. Anyway, just this stud of a dude, German. He, I mean, come on, don't you all?

Actually, a lot of Portland does look like that, but with a beard, you know? Anyway, he was the first designer. He was an industrial designer, so he made, you know, stereo stuff. All sorts of stuff. And he was the first designer to ever make a record player with a plastic or a glass top. So before this, I forget what year it was, late 50s, I want to say.

Every record player was ornate. It was antique in style. Usually it was set into a piece of furniture. He was the first designer to strip it down and say, like, what are the bare bones of a record player? This was how music was done at the time. And just to put a plastic or a glass. last top on it was a huge financial risk for his company and it ended up becoming the default setting for the next really

Until now, that's how basically all record players were and still are made, this clean plastic or glass top. Anyway, his design philosophy, he's kind of famous for it, was just this three-word phrase, less... but better. And I love that language. I think it is not just a good design philosophy. You might love minimalist design. You might hate it. I think that is just a great life philosophy. Less, but better.

as opposed to more but worse, which is how a lot of us live, right? More, sure, yes, I'll be there. Yes, I'll do that. Yes, I got it. Yes, I'll buy that. Yes, I'll get this. Yes, I'll buy another shirt I don't need. Yes, more but worse. Now, what if we were to live less but better? To live this way, which I think most of us want that, we have to say no. We have to figure out our vocation, say yes to that.

And then we have to say no. So can I just, this coming week, can I just give you the permission to say no? I don't think I have any authority at all. But what the heck, can I just say, like, I give you permission. Say no.

You have my permission. Go ahead. This coming week, say no. A friend from college is in town, and you haven't seen him or her in 10 years, and you like them, but you like out. Just say no. When there's this great opportunity to go do this thing, but really you just, you have some, say no. When you get invited to party number 317 because you're so cool.

Say no. Stop at 316. Just stop there. When you sit down the first week of January to plan out the coming year, you fill up your schedule, say no. When you sit down just to... Play with your schedule. What's an ideal? Like, what am I? Say no. Like, can I just give you permission to say that? To say no, to say no to really good stuff and to do it a lot, not because you're a cruel, selfish jerk.

Not because you're selfish at all, but because you know what the work the Father gave you to do is. The Father's approval matters to you more than anybody else.

You know, I know this is easier said than done. I get that. I'm a pastor and a teacher and a writer, so I get that. All sorts of expectations with that. I'm also a husband and a dad. and a son and a brother and a community member and a friend and a co-worker and a neighbor and a citizen, all of this stuff. And I'm also a human being. So there are all sorts of expectations. on what I should and what I should not do. And so not a day goes by when I don't have to say no.

And I miss it at times. This last summer, I had this great summer. My wife and I, we set out this summer. My goal was to live an unbusy life. That was like my social experiment for the summer. Can it be done? And so people would ask me, like, what's your summer about? And I'd be like, man, I'm just, I'm working on living an unbusy life. And everybody thought I was joking. Like people would start to laugh to a T. Not one single person thought I was serious. People would start to laugh.

You know, like, oh, ha, ha, ha. So funny. Nice one. Like, no, I'm dead serious. Like, I'm actually working on living an unbusy life. I want somebody to ask me, hey, how are you? Good. Are you busy? And I want to be able to say no. How cool would that be? Like, are you really busy right now? No. I mean, I work hard. I have a job. I'm a dad. Like, my life is full, you know, but I'm not busy. What's going on?

How cool would that be? Nobody, like, when is the last time somebody said no to backlash? It would be so, like, I would be such a trendsetter. That would just be so, so cool. Anyway, so that was my goal. And I had the best summer. I mean, it was just... Fan-freaking-tastic. It was so good. And then fall hit.

Fall has been so lousy. I'm just seriously so busy. Church is fall is the busy season here at Bridgetown. And then I had a book come out and travel for that. And all three of my kids were in soccer, which was like. purgatory, but this side of death. It was just horrible. All three. And there was stuff with my wife's health and stuff in our community. It was just like everything at once. And so, frankly, the last like month or two, I just have, I've not been doing well emotionally.

I've not been healthy in that way. I mean, overall, I'm good, but not the last month or two, just a lot of anxiety and a lot of depression. And I know why my life is way over capacity. And so my wife and I had a conversation about a week and a half ago, late one night. We were just in a really foul mood and we just had like a come to Jesus conversation. Like we're just both way too busy. She was even more so than me this fall.

And at one point, there was just this clarion moment in the talk where my wife said, this is not how I want to live. And this is not the way of Jesus. I was like, boom, that's why I married you. That's not how I want to live. And that's not the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus is life, you guys. And so as disciples of Jesus, and I know this is not just my wife and I. We want to live and to live well in the kingdom. Jesus would talk about what he called the life that is truly life. Oh, love that.

The life is truly life. At one point, Jesus said, I have come that you may have life and life abundant, just spilling over love and joy and peace and faith and hope. That's it. And when I look at Jesus, his life was full. I mean, in three years, he changed the world, healing the sick and casting out demons, preaching the gospel. I mean, all of this stuff. But yet he was never in a hurry.

I don't know one story in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John where Jesus was in. I'm sorry, I can't talk. I got to be here. I'm late. No, he wasn't. He was an unbusy soul. fully present and alive in the moment. I'm not there yet. I'm en route. But that is how I want to live. Let's stand and pray.

To wrap up today, let's reflect on how the Spirit might be calling us to put this into practice. John Mark offered us two steps in the teaching. First, become aware of what God is calling us to. And second, discerning what we need to say no to. I'll leave you through a question on each to help you start a longer conversation with the Lord about it. So if you can, pause. And take a few deep breaths. Bring your mind and body to stillness. And ask. Father.

What's one thing that you're calling me to in this season? And take a few moments to listen. And now, ask, is there anything that I need to say no to so I can say a deeper yes to this? I'll leave a few more seconds here and close with amen. Amen. This podcast is from Practice in the Way. We develop resources to help churches and small groups apprentice in the way of Jesus. Thanks to Little Thought for our show music.

We're a crowdfunded nonprofit, so everything we make is completely free because it's already been paid for by The Circle, our community of monthly givers. Special thanks today goes to James from Wilmington, Delaware. Tommy. from Carleton, Georgia. Louis from West Palm Beach, Florida. Stefan from Birmingham, Alabama. And Andrew from Bend, Oregon. Thank you all very much.

To join these friends in the circle or learn more about our resources, visit practiceintheway.org. Until next time, may the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God. and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.