Teaching | Identity | Discovering Your Identity and Calling E02 (From the Archive)

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Welcome to the John Mark Comer Teachings Podcast. I'm Strawn Coleman, your host and part of the teaching team here at Practicing the Way. Here on the podcast each week... we share a teaching from John Mark or other trusted voices in the formation space. In today's teaching, John Mark explores the question, who am I? Where we look to find answers and what the Bible has to say about it.

While you listen, you might like to ask yourself the question, where do I primarily find my identity from? Here's John Mark.

Hey, please turn in your Bibles to Matthew chapter 3. Well, we're really happy you're here wherever you are at with Jesus of Nazareth. Last week we kicked off a brand new series and with it a practice on discovering... your identity and calling. Basically, for us, the way of Jesus is just that. It is a way of life, and it takes practice and in community. So every few months, we take on a practice from the life where the

teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, and we talk about it on Sundays, and then we go flesh it out in our community. And right now, we're in the middle of discovering your identity and calling it. Last week, we read the story about Jesus from Matthew chapter 3. and a key moment in his own journey of discovering his identity and calling. And like pretty much any really good literature, there are layers to the story. And so I want to read that exact same story again.

But this week, go a little bit deeper. Matthew chapter 3, take a look at verse 13. Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. John tried to deter him, saying, I need to be baptized by you. Do you come to me? Jesus replied, let it be so now. It is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.

And apparently, like, then John consented. Like, I don't know how to say no to Jesus. As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water, and at that moment, pay close attention, heaven was open, and he saw the Spirit of God descending. like a dove and a lighting on him. And a voice came from heaven and said, this is my son whom I love. Or that can be translated, this is my beloved son. With him I am well.

End of story. Where is Jesus getting his identity and calling from? Yeah, from heaven. More literally, from the voice of the Spirit of God. As a follower of Jesus, where do you get your identity and calling from? Where do I get mine from? Is it from heaven and the voice of our Father, or is it from somewhere a bit closer to earth?

The reality is that for most of us, our identity is grounded not at all in heaven, but in somewhere much closer to home. Some of us get our identities from, first off, our performance. I am what I do. What's the first question? You're at a cocktail party. which if you're an introvert like me, is the seventh layer of hell, right? So when I think about hell, I don't imagine Dante's Inferno or some medieval-like dude in need of therapy. I imagine a cocktail party with Satan, all right?

And he's like the life of the party. And it's just, but I just, oh man, so bad. So you're at a cocktail party or whatever you're at. And what's the first question that you normally ask somebody? What do you do? And people rag on that question. I'm actually not down on that question. I love it. But often... People answer it with a resume, or what the cultural critic David Brooks called resume virtues. And you quickly realize, okay, for that...

person. That isn't a job. That's not even a career. That's an identity. We live in what the Korean-German philosopher Byung-Chul Han calls the Achievement Society, calls late modern Westerners, quote, entrepreneurs of themselves. And makes the point that we have this fascinating cultural moment where we have more opportunity to reach our full potential than any other generation in human history, hands down. And yet... Mental illness is through the roof.

Not in the developing world, in the first world. In particular, the more money you have, the better educated you are, the more you are into your career, the more the odds of your mental illness is through the roof. In the burnout society, which is this breakout... little book, he writes that, quote, symptoms of depression and feelings of insecurity, inferiority, and fear of failure are the hallmarks of our late moderate achievement society.

Even though it is crippling at a soul level a lot of people get their identity from their performance. I am what I do. Now, for other people, it's not that at all. Other people get their identity from their possessions. I am what I have or what I wear or what I text on or what I drive. We also live in a materialistic society. The two are tied together. The American mantra is...

work more, buy more, repeat. And with the secularization of the West, in particular over the last hundred years or so, the void that has been left where God used to be for a lot of people has been, into that vacuum has come like the... ad agencies of capitalism. Materialism has become a kind of religion, Amazon.com has become a kind of temple, shopping has become a form of worship.

As with any kind of religion or form of spirituality, a lot of people look to it for identity. Think of the way that fashion is more than a way to stay warm for a lot of people. It is an identity statement. You walk in and you're wearing a suit and a tie and an expensive watch like that. That's an identity statement. I'm a business woman or a businessman or I am educated or I make money or I'm sophisticated or whatever. Whereas you walk in and you have rod down.

and it's kind of cut and up high, and you have the beanie and the tat or whatever, and you're like, okay, I get you. Like, you're everybody. You're like the post-hipster Portland 20-something or whatever. And then if you want to know that identity more, you just follow them outside. And if they get on a bicycle...

Then they're like, okay, like burn down the system. I just enjoy life in the city. But more and more like they get into an Audi SUV and you're like, oh, you run an ad agency. That's what you used to ride a bicycle. Now you make 300 grand a year and we all wish we were you. Right?

Like, so my point is, whatever your example is, think of the difference between a suburban single family home with a yard versus a loft off of Division Street or a minivan versus a motorcycle, right? I was watching, I don't know who you are because you had helmets on, but I was watching.

watching a few guys last Sunday as I was heading home, like get on a motorcycle right out in front. All the ladies, all the single ladies were just walking in front. And as they were walking, it was just like these guys were warming up the motor. Really like, ow, loud. You're like, okay, that. That's not a mode of transportation for you. That is an identity statement. Like, I don't mean that to slam you at all. That's a great identity statement. I can't hear anymore, but thank you for that.

My point is that for a lot of people, things aren't just things. They are identities. Again, for some people, that's not it at all. For other people, their identity is rooted in their pleasure. I am what I want. Of course, the most cutting example of this, and I know there's a lot of sensitivity here, but is sexuality, where some people literally define who they are based on their sexual orientation.

And while your sexuality is very important, it is a part of your humanity, is it the most important thing about you? Is it who you are? In fact, is it even a large enough container to hold your inner ache for a life of meaning and purpose?

Because we all have desires, whether it's an intimate desire such as sexuality or love or romance or something much more, I don't know, low-grade. I'm a foodie, right? And your desire is to eat your way through Portland. Like, there goes five years of your life. Or I travel and I and every other Instagram post is you somewhere on Frequent Father Miles or whatever. Like, sure, those desires are true of you. In the language of my buddy Dave, are they the truest thing about you?

Still, other people get their identity from popularity. Like, I am what other people think of me. Some of us just never quite outgrow the high school cafeteria. Am I right? Do you ever walk into a room, whether it's a church or a Bridgetown community or a high school cafeteria or a coffee shop or a workplace, do you ever walk in and just feel all this pressure, all this weight on your soul to...

Be cooler than you actually are. Or better looking than you are. Or more smart or more educated or better read. And you quote somebody. You've never actually read the book, but you remember the quote. Whatever. Ever feel this? pressure to project an image of yourself to the room that does not quite correspond to reality.

It's like this airbrushed version of yourself. And that is easier now than ever before, not only metaphorically, but literally. It's called VSCO. It's a great app if you don't have it. Airbrush yourself. This is nothing new in the human condition, but it's exacerbated.

know this but it's exacerbated by a social media based culture and if you get sucked into this kind of who's cooler than who game like it is it's only a matter of time until social Darwinism eats you alive because I hate to say it to you but

Like there's always somebody cooler than you. In my case, that's always true, right? There's always somebody better looking than you, more successful than you, more well-made than you, better behaved kids or whatever your thing is. Like if you play king of the hill, even if you win. then you won't stay there very long. Think about how some people's emotional state rises and falls with like the number of likes they get online or the number of compliments they get when they walk into a room.

Think about, this is such a low-hanging fruit, and I hate to pick on it, but to pick on it, think of the selfie, which is just such a fascinating cultural phenomenon. And at one level, it's playful, and it's kind of fun, and it's great for a laugh. But then a lot of people aren't trying to make you laugh.

And you're like, hmm, that's actually not funny. When you get to a feed and every other shot is a selfie, same serious face. It's literally like the same photo with just a different shirt on every single time. At a surface level, to me, that comes off as just arrogant and vain and stupid. But then I can't help but wonder if behind that there's actually a deep insecurity.

Like that's actually, each post is a cry. Like, will somebody love me? Will somebody like me? Will somebody notice me? Will somebody pay attention to me? Even if I have to lie or brag or airbrush or strip down to my bra, will somebody please? pay attention to me. That the odds are is somebody whose identity is in some way shape or form rooted in their popularity, rooted in what other people think.

My point is, there are all sorts of places that people get their identity and even their calling from, performance or possessions or pleasure or popularity, and that is by no means an exhaustive list. And there's a danger here. Because if you think about it, your identity is tied first off to your sense of self-worth.

I matter because I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer, I'm a pastor, I'm a you fill in the blank. It's also tied to your sense of security. You feel safe because you belong somewhere. This is why human beings are still tribal. late modern West, right? Whether we all have some kind of a tribe that we gravitate to because what we actually want is security. What we actually want is a place to belong. And so that if that's a community around our sexuality or a community around our

socioeconomic status or suburban versus urban or this sport versus that sport or this theology versus that theology or this religion versus that yoga studio. Like whatever it is, we gravitate to a tribe. Why? Because we want a place to belong. Why? Because we're scared. Because there's so much fear underneath the layers of distraction and busyness and noise and bravado in every Facebook post. Underneath it, there's fear. And we need a place of security.

And then your identity is also tied, of course, Finally, to your happiness. Like I'm happy because tomorrow morning the iPhone X goes on pre-order, right? And I'm because of what I have or because of my job title or because of my resume or because of whatever your identity is. And the danger is, we all know this, but the danger is that all of those identities can be taken away. In fact, some of those identities will be taken away. It's only a matter of time with...

age. And then who are you? If you get your identity from your performance, I am what I do, then what happens when you lose your job or if you lose your job? Or what happens if you're passed over for a promotion? Or what happens if you're 30-something and you're still like, I don't even know what my calling in life is yet.

Or what happens if, like, your job is, like, replaced by a robot in three years, like we all fear, right? Like a robot pastor three years from now. That's more like a decade or two out. I think I have if I can make it to retirement, right? Who are you without your job, without your career, without your job title? If you get your identity from your possessions, what happens if after you lose your job, then you lose your, you fill in the blank. Who are you without your fishing boat? Nobody.

Just kidding. Who are you without your Tesla? You're like, Tesla? This is the 7 p.m. Who are you without your bicycle, right? Who are you without your really cool indie thing from Craigslist or that you stole? Whatever. This is Portland. You know who you are, right? If you get your identity from your popularity, what happens when you gain weight, when you go bald?

When your thing isn't cool anymore. When you're not who you used to be. Who am I without my hair? Who am I without my following? Who am I without you fill in the blank?

My point is that all of these identities are, in the language of Jesus, shifting sand. This is why one of the key tasks of our apprenticeship to Jesus is to get our identity and calling from heaven and not from earth. Carol, for the win every time. Now, you're smart people, so I know what you're thinking. Okay, I get that Jesus has this moment in the Jordan.

but he's Jesus. I mean, I would love to like come up out of the bathtub in my apartment and there's a dove there. It's like kind of a mirage dove though, you know? And then there's a voice from the father in heaven. This is my beloved daughter or sister. son in whom I'm well pleased, go like start a gourmet s'mores cart or whatever and do justice through the foster care system. I would love that. But unless if you're Jesus or James and Elise, that like, yeah, it's not.

It's yet to happen. This is a story about Jesus, isn't it? Not about me. Is it? Turn to the right, to Ephesians chapter 1.

If you're new to the writings of the New Testament, there are a number of letters. In fact, most of the New Testament is letters. And Ephesians is a masterpiece. So it's written just a few decades after Jesus. by this dude of the name of Paul. And he's a theologian. He's just a brilliant...

Beautiful mind. And he is working out all of the implications of Jesus. His life, his teaching, his kingdom, miracle after miracle, his death, his burial, his resurrection, the fact that he is now the Lord or the ultimate power in the universe. Paul is working all of that out for this first century Greco-Roman city in Ephesus. And Ephesians, more than any other writing in all of the Bible, is a ground zero for a theology of identity. Paul, more than any other theologian in all of the Bible.

Bible, is kind of ground zero for theology of identity. And I just want to read a bit of chapter one over you. We'll take a minute, so just settle in if you want. Take a deep breath. Let me read this over you. Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God. To God's holy people in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to God.

to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the one he loves.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ. to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who...

works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will in order that we who were the first to put our hope in Christ might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth. the gospel of your salvation, when you believed, you were marked in hand with the seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who was a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession to the praise of his glory.

I have to cut it off at some point because we run out of time. But how good is that? I just want to take another moment. That in Greek is all like one run-on sentence. I mean, the dude just can't like get it out, all of this. Now, there's a lot here. we don't have time to get into, but one thing I want you to notice. The key phrase in chapter one, really all through Ephesians, is en Christo in Greek, which is in Christ in English.

It's used well over 150 times in the New Testament, almost entirely by Paul. It is by far his favorite way to talk about your identity. In systematic theology, not that you care all that much, but this is called incorporation, or it also goes by the name of union. And the basic idea is that in baptism...

Think of Matthew 28, baptizing in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, meaning when you are baptized into the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, when you are drenched in the reality of God, put another way, when you become a follower of Jesus, in that moment, you are incorporated into union with Christ, which means what? Which means, short version, everything that is true about Christ is now true about you. Now just give me a minute to like...

unpack this. We'll go deep and then we'll come up for air in just a minute. The key to wrapping your head around this idea or doctrine, if you prefer, of incorporation or union is that word Christos or Christ in English. It's the Greek translation. of the Hebrew word Mashiach, which is where we get the word Messiah from. Here's why that matters. Because in English, when you hear Christ, a lot of people think like second member of the Trinity or something.

What is closer to what the text is saying is Messiah, which sounds much more Jewish. Am I right? So you think, oh, Messiah, that's like a Jewish thing. I don't know all exactly what that is. The Messiah was this long-awaited king on the horizon.

in Israel's future, who was, if you've read the Old Testament, was Israel's representative. The theologian N.T. Wright, in his 1,500-page tome, Paul and the Faithfulness of God, writes this about incorporation. Quote, as being in Christ, the center of what he means is that the king represents his people so that what happens to him happens to them and what is true of him is true of them.

Think of David fighting Goliath. David was representing Israel. He had already been anointed as king, and it wasn't long after his victory before people realized that he was the one who would lead Israel into God's future. So with us, Jesus has... won the decisive victory over the oldest and darkest enemy of all, and if we are in him, in the king, in Christ,

we shall discover step by step what that means. That is a phenomenal metaphor. David and Goliath. How many of you know that story? I'm guessing, yeah, if not all of you, the vast majority of you. Think about it. In that moment, David's victory, and it was David's victory. victory. Like one of the things that you miss if you don't know geography, which is

most of us, is that David's hometown was the next village on the road. Meaning if David had lost that battle, his mom, his dad, his brothers, his sisters would have all been slaughtered. After them, the rest... of his tribe, after them the rest of Israel, right? In that moment, David's victory became all of Israel's victory. David's freedom became all of Israel's freedom. David's kingdom and kingship

Everybody now had access to his victory and his freedom and his kingdom. In the same way, through Jesus, the Messiah. the long-awaited king of Israel and the world. Through his victory, that's what the cross and the resurrection was, nothing short of the defeat of hell itself. No more cocktail parties with Satan. It's all over. The defeat of it. Through that moment, his victory has become our victory. His freedom has become our freedom.

His kingdom we now have full access to. The Swiss theologian Karl Barth in his seminal work Church Dogmatics said this about incorporation. Christians are now quite briefly described as those in Christ Jesus are usually even more simple. as in Christ.

And they are described in this way because they are in him. And they are in him because Christ has adopted them into unity with his being, which means that in virtue of their baptism, they have put him on like a covering garment. As they are in Christ, they acquire and have a... direct share in what God first and supremely is in him, what was done by God for the world and therefore for them in him, a lot of prepositions, and what is assigned and given to them by God in him.

And we're like, that's why I don't read theology. Come up for air. Again, the basic idea is very simple. What's true about Christ is now true about you. This is where we get that cliche, when God looks at you, he sees Jesus. Have you heard that? You haven't heard that? Good. I love it when cliches die a slow and painful death. They're not really helpful for anything. I'm guessing some of you have heard that. And that's a gross oversimplification.

It's like, yeah, he sees Jesus, but he also sees me, and he sees my problems, and he sees my issues. But yeah, honestly, there's truth in that. When God looks at you, he sees Jesus, meaning he sees you incorporated into union with Christ. He sees that as your identity. This has all sorts of implications for your identity. Look at all of the identity statements that we just read in a paragraph or two in chapter one, all of which are true.

of you quote in Christ. That phrase in Christ or in him is used all the way through, like literally in every single line. Verse three, you're blessed with every spiritual blessing. Verse four, chosen before the creation of the world, holy, blameless. Verse five,

loved, predestined, adopted as sons and daughters under God's pleasure and in God's will. Verse six, to the praise of his glorious grace. Verse seven, redeemed, forgiven, and rich in God's grace. Verse eight, wise and understanding. Did you know you're wise and understanding? understanding. I was not aware of that. Verse 9, aware of the mystery of Christ. Verse 11, you're chosen.

11 also, you're predestined. Verse 12, for the praise of his glory. Verse 13, you're included. You're not left out. You are saved. Verse 14, you're sealed with the Holy Spirit. You're God's possession. Verse 15, you are in line for inheritance. are for the praise of his glory, in case you missed it, because that's the third time he's said it, right? And that is just in the opening run-on sentence.

He goes off like this for three more chapters. You're God's poema. You're his poetry. He has good works waiting for you ahead. You're part of a whole new humanity. You have been made alive in Christ. You are clothed in his righteousness.

goes off for line after line after line after line. This is who you are in Christ. Now again, you're smart people, and even if you have a bad seat in the annex. You're still smart people. And so I'm guessing that what you're thinking right now is like, no, I'm not. I'm not holy. I'm living with my girlfriend. I'm not blameless. I know what Jesus has to say about that. I'm not chosen, predestined. I'm not even sure what I think yet. So how is this true?

of me. Well, this is who you are in Christ. Remember, incorporation, everything that's true about Christ is now true about you. Christ is holy. So guess what? You're holy. if and when you're in Christ. Christ is blameless. Guess what? You are too, if you are in Christ. And here's the kicker. Like, just get a minute here. This is not only true of you theologically.

It's becoming true of you in reality. Here's an idea that may help or it may hurt. We'll see in about five minutes. There's a theologian by the name of George Ladd. a few decades ago, he was the one who coined this phrase, the now and the not yet of the kingdom of God, which we've been around Bridgetown. We use that language on a regular basis. Sometimes Jesus would talk about the kingdom of God as if it's now and it's here. And then other times Jesus would talk.

about the kingdom of God as if it's not here yet. It's like, you know, in the future. Which one is it? Yes, it's here in part, but it's not yet here in full. For that, we have to wait for Jesus' return. Now, Ladd and a few other theologians use that framework of the now and not yet, and they...

And they put it kind of on a trajectory with ethics in the New Testament, in particular, Paul's way of doing ethics in Ephesians and beyond. And they coined another phrase that they called eschatological realism, which I guess when you're just bored and you're a theologian, you come up with... stuff like that.

eschatological eschaton meaning having to do with the future or the end goal realism meaning having to do with reality the basic idea of what they called eschatological realism is this very simple but listen you are in a process of becoming who you really are in Christ. Let me say this again. This is how identity works in Paul in the New Testament. You are in a process of who you are becoming.

You are in the process of becoming who you really are in Christ. Therefore, not only is your identity rooted in Christ, Not in your performance, your possessions or your pleasure or your popularity or whatever your thing is. Also, your identity, therefore, is rooted in the future.

not in the past or in the present. For most of us, think about it, most of us, our identity, first off, it's not rooted in Christ. It's not rooted in heaven at all. It's rooted in earth. Right? Secondly, even if it is rooted in Christ, for most of us, it's based in the past, who we were, or in the present, who we are. Not in the future, who we're becoming. So you asked me, John Mark, who are you?

And the odds are that I will come up with an identity from my past rooted in the earth. I was the kid that like in the 80s was like crazy hyper and was heading into school and they were going to put me on Ritalin and then lock me into the cage that is the public school. system and my mom said no no drugs for him he's already messed up and so they homeschooled me and I spent 10 years reading a lot getting really good at reading and really bad at people and

That's me. So I'm just this socially awkward, introverted outsider, a bit uncomfortable in my own skin. Like, that's actually not who I am now, much less who I'm becoming. But that's who I was. Or you ask me, who are you? Well, we're doing the Enneagram conference this coming weekend. I can't wait. It's easy for me to think, well...

I'm a type one. Root sin is anger. Man, I'm just so mad all the time because I'm a perfectionist and the world is just a notch or two short of perfect. And so are you and so am I and so are my children and so is my wife and I can tell you everything that's wrong. her and everything that's wrong with me and everything that's wrong with you if you need any help if you need like a consultant a consultant kind of on your life i'm just there to help you you know

So like, and so this anger just, it leaks out in unhealthy and even toxic ways on my wife and my family. And man, I'm just at it. I'm way better than I used to be. But man, there are times when I go to bed and I just feel like, what a jerk. Notice what that is. It's an identity rooted in my present. That's true of me. That's true. But is that the truest thing about me? What if my identity was rooted in Christ?

And not in the past who I was or in the present even who I am, but in the future who I'm becoming. John Mark, who are you? I am a son of the Father. back from the dead a billion years from now, alive and well, healthy at a soul level. I am a non-anxious presence. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm more like Christ than I've ever been.

and in doing so, I'm more my real true self. I just feel not only outer freedom, I feel inner freedom to breathe deep in and out and inhale and exhale the reality of God with me. That's who I am. Now by timeline, that's not actually who I am yet. But that is who I am becoming in Christ. And that's who you are too, in your own way, shape, or form. That's who you are becoming in Christ. Now, before we wrap up, don't misread me here because we could...

go off the rails at this point. My point here is not to like shrug off sin or wink at it like, oh, it's no big deal. Not at all. Nothing will warp your identity. Nothing will sabotage the call of God on your life like sin. If you redefine good and evil and you think that you know better than God. And then you let what God calls evil and you call good into the pattern of your humanity. It will just warp you, corrupt you, infect you from the inside out.

And this way of doing identity, this is who you're becoming in Christ, actually has all sorts of implications for sin, for life, for how you do and do not live. Turn over to chapter four. Again, all we have time for is like a bird's eye view of Ephesians. For the first three chapters, Paul goes off on identity, basically three chapters of identity. There's not a single command anywhere in the letter until chapter four, verse one. Just think about that.

Three chapters, not a single command. This is what ethicists call the indicative imperative, which is Paul's way of doing ethics in the New Testament. And the idea is first you have the indicative, like this is who you are. identity. Then after that, you have the imperative. This is what you do or do not do. Here is your calling. And the idea is that what you do flows out of who you are. or to be more to the point, what you do flows out of the truth or the lies you believe about who you are.

Right, so not a single command until we get here. Chapter four, verse one is the fulcrum point. Let's read it. As a prisoner for the Lord, then, or if you have the ESV, therefore, meaning in light of all that identity, in light of who you are becoming in Christ.

I urge you, I encourage you, I exhort you, come on, live a life worthy of the calling you have received. And then it's just command after command after command. Be completely humble, gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. He's like, he's like that. like waiting to get a command out of him. Like then the rest, the second three chapters of the book are all command after command after command. And what is the first command in the entire letter? Walk.

worthy or live a life worthy of the calling you have received and this is who you are now go be who you are this is who you're becoming in christ now live up to it

Now, again, I think it's really easy to misread Paul here. I was thinking for an analogy in my mind the last few days, and I think of that... Oh, yeah. That's good. I think of the end. The end of Saving Private Ryan. Spoiler alert, but you've had like 20 years. So if you missed it, sorry. But you know that scene at the end? So you have this gritty like...

war film. And most of you, I'm guessing you at least know the story. And then the very end, there's this like, kind of like... surprise ending where Matt Damon all of a sudden now it's like decades in the future and it's present day and he's a 60-something World War II vet and he's there back at the cemetery and he's in front of Captain Miller's grave.

is there and it's a windy France kind of day. And there's this moment where he starts to break down and cry. And he says to Captain Miller, who's in the ground, I hope I've earned what you've done for me. I hope I've earned what you've done. And then his wife comes up, and he looks at her, tears in his eyes, and he says, tell me I'm a good man. Tell me I've lived a good life.

And it's this really surprising, I think it's haunting ending. Because it's not really a happy ending. It's kind of like he's alive, but all sorts of people died to make him alive. And now he's living with this crippling weight of expectation. Did I earn it? Did I earn it? Did I measure out? I don't think that's what Paul at all means here by live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

I don't think he's saying, go out and earn it. Jesus died for you, this, that, and the other. Go out and earn it. I don't think that's what he's saying at all. I think what he's saying is, listen, you have a high and a holy calling and identity before God. Don't waste your life on anything less. I think by way of analogy of my wedding day. So I was in the garage this morning. Yeah, check that out. So this should not be legal, but sadly it is in Oregon. You can get married really young. Don't.

So T was 19, and I, her parents wanted me to be 21, so we got married the first Saturday after my 21st birthday, which tells you way too much about my Enneagram number right there. So I think of our wedding day. I'm barely 21. She's 19. We're barely out of high school at that point. I'm in college. And, like, I'm so immature. You don't even know.

In that moment, when the pastor said, I now pronounce you husband and wife, like, how good was I at being a husband? Let me answer that for you. Not good at all. Not anywhere close to good. Not like kind of, sort of good. Like lousy. For about 10 years before he even started to move into moderate or whatever, right? But in that moment, I became a husband.

I will never be less of a husband or more of a husband. I can be a good one or a bad one, but my status is unquestioned. I am a husband to my wife. And I will spend the rest of my life learning how to be who I already am. Learning how to live up to the calling that I already have over my life. Does that make sense?

Or I think of when Jude was born. I was 25, right? How much did I know about fathering? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. Don't say nothing. Come on. Give me a little, like a little bit. Remember driving home from the hospital just like, they let you take a human being home? That should not be legal. That should not be legal, right? In that moment. I have no clue what I'm doing, but I will never become more of a father or less of a father.

My status as a father is unquestioned. I am Jude's dad, but I will spend the rest of my life learning how to be who I already am, learning how to live up to what is already true of me. I could go metaphor after metaphor. I think of my daughter. We don't call her my adopted daughter. We just call her our daughter.

But when she was adopted into my family, out of adjunct poverty, no family, all sorts of trauma, when she came into my home, at that moment she became a comer. She will never be more of a comer or less of a comer. Full access to all of the wealth of my kingdom. Sorry. But full access. She had a college fund from day one. There's not much in it, but she had one. Full access to love and acceptance and a heater and our home and our family. She became my daughter in that moment. But it's been years.

And she's still learning how to live up to what is already true of her. How to live in to her identity.

a daughter of Tammy. I'm a comer. This is who I am. We could go on and on, but do you see the pattern here? This is a whole other way of doing identity, where your identity isn't rooted in the shifting sands of what you do or what you have.

or what other people think of you, but in who you are becoming in Christ. It's not rooted in your past, who you were. It's not rooted in your present, even who you are. It's rooted in your future, in who you are becoming. And when you start to see the way that God... When you start to look at the way that God looks at you and you start to get God's eyes on your identity, that right there, if you can get there in your apprenticeship to Jesus, that is a turning point.

David Benner in The Gift of Being Yourself, which is a great little read, one sitting read, the best thing I know out there on our practice, writes this. Christians affirm a foundation of identity that is absolutely unique in the marketplace of spiritualities. Whether we realize it or not, our being is grounded in God's love. Love is our identity and calling. Neither knowing God nor knowing self can progress very far unless it begins with the knowledge of how deeply we are loved by God.

In order for our knowing of God's love to be truly transformational, it must become the basis for our identity. Our identity is who we experience ourselves to be. I love that definition. The I that each of us carries within. An identity grounded in God would mean that we think of who we are, and the first thing that would come to mind is our status as someone who is deeply loved by God.

When you think about your identity, the I that you live with, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it I am a son, I am a daughter, I am deeply loved?

by God. And you're thinking, yeah, but I'm a mess. I'm a work in progress. I'm an addict. I'm a this. I'm brand new. True. But think about how the father does his thing. The father loves us into our future. It's what any good parent does. I know this is the stuff. There's not a lot of parents in the room. But some of you had good parents, and you remember your mom or your dad or grandma or uncle or family member.

spoke words, prophetic words at times, of identity and calling over your life at a young age, and it shaped who you became. I had a great dad. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but a great dad. I still have this vivid memory of driving with him. I think I was 12 years old. We're in the hideous blue Chevy Astro minivan.

It was so bad, right? And I remember I'm in this conversation with my dad. I remember my dad turned to me and he said, you know, John Mark, you'd make a great pastor of a church one day. You will. I was thinking, really? I was thinking more X-Wing pilot. That was like on my docket at the time. All right, let me think about that. Here I am. I remember this, another vivid memory when I was 15, and I was in the den in the front of our house with my mom.

And it was raining outside, and I got this paperback from my... writing teacher or literature teacher or whatever, and I got it all marked up. I got a bad grade on it, and she said, listen, you write two to the point. Every time you write a sentence, I then want you to write two more sentences saying the same thing. and other language.

I thought, have you ever had people say this to you? I thought, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I already said it once. What was wrong with the first time? Like, you're not bored enough with the one line? Now you want two more? And I thought, I remember getting in a fight with my English teacher.

teacher thinking, writing should be to the point. Like, don't put all this extra fluff in it. Just make it like a conversation. Smart and good, but to the point. And she just thought, you'll never amount to anything, right? And I remember processing this with my mom, and I remember my mom said, you're a great writer. One day you'll write books. I thought, books? Like the ones I read all the time?

Whoa, what an idea. And that was the germ of a little thought in my mind. My point is, some of you had great parents. Some of you had really unhelpful parents in this way. You either said nothing to you, which is more common. Love you. Believe in you. Great. But who am I? And what am I called to do? Believe in you. Have fun. Goodbye now. We want to have empty nest time.

And then others of you had parents who said, you'll never amount to anything. Like you, I was chatting with somebody last hour who was headed to the Olympics and like missed it. the last test. His dad said something to the extent of, well, we never thought you had that much talent. You made it a lot farther than we expected. And it was just this offhanded comment that has shaped him as a 40-year-old man today, still with him today.

My point is, parents, you know, if you're in the room, that our job is terrifying because our children will live up or down to the words that we speak over them. This is why it's so important that we speak, like our Father, words of identity and a calling. This is who you, not who you are, this is who you're becoming. When my kids blow it or mess up, which they do once in a while, What I love to say to them is, Jude, that's not who you are.

Moses, that's not who you are. Sunday, that's not who you are. And then to call out who I see each one becoming in Christ. This is what God does with us over and over and over again. You are loved. you are deeply loved, and this is who you are becoming. God loves us into our future. I get that some of you need to basically come forward and repent tonight.

Some of you are stuck in patterns of humanity that are toxic and unhelpful and destructive to your own soul, much less to the society and the world around you. I get it. But that's not who you are. And that's not who you're becoming. And the invitation of the Father and the Son and the Spirit is to be who you are.

Now, on that note, for the week ahead, our practice is all on practicingtheway.org slash identity and calling. We have a few exercises for you and your Bridgetown community or your friends or whatever if you're listening online. And the main one for the week ahead...

is just to go around the room and to speak identity over each other. So take 10 or 15 minutes per person, do a little listening prayer, invite the Holy Spirit, see if the Holy Spirit brings an identity statement or a calling to mind, and then just...

prophesy or pray that over a person, or if you're in community with them, just bless them. Call out who you see them becoming in Christ. Call out what you see as their identity, what you see as their calling. I see this in you. I see that in you. I cheer you on.

pray favor of God over your life. FYI, unless if your community is really small, this will take a while. So either break into triads and get it all done in one night or just plan on two or three weeks. And then if you want a little bit more, also in the practice.

are some exercises for you to do all by yourself with listening prayer, meditation on Ephesians 1, and a number of other identity statements in the New Testament. And of course, all of this is warm up for the Enneagram.

and for our next few weeks of teaching on calling. And the reality is, until your identity is rooted in who you are loved by, and who you are becoming in that love, you will never have the freedom, the faith, the courage, the boldness, the creativity to actually step out into God's call in your life because the odds are that whatever God's calling you to, it's terrifying and beautiful. provocative, and prophetic over our day and our age.

In today's teaching, John Mark explored the question, who am I? Let's take a moment now to take a few deep breaths and ask the Holy Spirit to highlight an idea. a word, a sentence or a theme from the teaching that he wants to speak about together. You may also like to spend time later journaling and exploring this some more with God. You might want to share it with your spiritual director or discuss it with family, friends or at your next community group.

This podcast is from Practicing the Way. We develop resources to help churches and small groups apprentice in the way of Jesus. And all we make is completely free because it's already been paid for by this circle. a community of monthly givers who partner with us to see spiritual formation integrated into the church at large. Special thanks for today's episode goes to Janine from Forest Grove, Oregon, Tobias from Hearth, North Rhine, Westphalia,

Tom from Hubbard, Oregon, Drew from Greenville, South Carolina, and Bates from Waco, Texas. Thank you all very much. To join the circle or learn more about running a practice in your church or community, visit practicingtheway.org. Until next time, may the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all, now and forever. Amen.