Hello to the beautiful, the exquisite, the powerful everyday women of the world. Welcome to the Startup Stories podcast, where the ambitious everyday woman is heard, is held, and is served in life and in business, bringing you relatable stories to keep you sane, to keep you grounded. and to keep you growing as you expand yourself and deliver your purpose to the world. Every time I read that intro, I feel it a little bit deeper, ladies,
a little bit deeper. And I hope that it helps for you to normalize your experience and reduce any pressure, competition, and scarcity that you might feel inside. Because here at Powerful Ink, we do not hijack the nervous system. We calm it, we hold space, and we just be. We just be, baby, because that's all we got to do, isn't it, Jackie? It is. It is. It's all you can do. It's all you can do. It's all you can do. Hey guys today I trolled the internet and I picked
up another hot lady. I'm so glad you did. I'm so glad you did. I met Jackie a while ago but you know my style I'm just like who's out there and in the meantime lots of other guests are coming into the space too but it's super fun when I stalk somebody into being my friend. Oh my gosh. Monica Geller and me so... I don't know, friends reference, right? You'll have to Google the friends reference episode between Monica and Phoebe if you don't know what that means.
But anyway, today, the beautiful, the delightful, the vivacious... Yeah, Jackie Mott is joining us and she's a fellow Canadian, which is important, lives about halfway, two thirds across the country in Ontario. And so I found Jackie on the old Facebook and just started a conversation with her and we... we've just connected on such a
deep soul level and it's been so wonderful. And then as I get to know her more and we're going to dive into her story and who she is and what she's here to do, it's just a very beautiful and relatable experience where even if her story is not what happened to you, you'll find pieces of it that relate to your life. The takeaway that I want you to think about as we go into this conversation and I introduce her is where in my life am I holding myself back? Where in
my life am I holding myself back? Could be something small like in the kitchen. Where am I not cooking a little bit more intentionally, a little bit more excitedly, right? Am I just doing pasta, sauce, meat? Or am I experimenting a little bit because getting chills already, this is where we really create ourselves. We're not here to create ourselves only through our business success. We're here to blend it all into every fiber of our being. everywhere we touch and that doesn't
mean we have to be a master at everything. It's just a note and a highlight of encouragement to play in your life and push things a little bit further than they might be in whatever area. And this preamble to bring Jackie in because her story is like beautifully heartbreaking and wonderful. And Jackie's going to tell us that she wouldn't trade it for the world, but hot damn was it la poops when she was going through it. So her husband, 27 years of marriage, you
know, beautiful child between them. And then 27 years in. Bye bye. Thank you, ma 'am. So long.
See you later. and Jackie was like WTF what just happened and found herself at her own ground zero and so what do you do when you're faced with such a harsh circumstance like that and it does affect you know here we talk a lot about external circumstance internal capacity but in this situation it's definitely hits your internal capacity and there's nothing so what do you do well you take one step then another right and you start to pull yourself up out of the rubble
and this was Jackie's gateway to freedom to really see where she had been blocking herself and now she can live out loud and fully and wholly and from a highly empowered state and it doesn't mean she's the next Oprah although she'd be a great one. But this is now where she can create a life that she never thought was going to be possible. And now that her and I have joined forces too, we will not stand, sit or lay back and let you do the same. So Jackie, let's get
into it, baby. Hello. Hello. Please talk now. That was, that was intense. Holy cow. Okay. I've got nothing to live up to here. Nothing. I was like, Sam, I'm ready. I am so excited that Mia did find me. I just have to tell you, it was amazing when we actually were able to finally connect and have a conversation. There was just, you know, one of those, as she says, the soul connection, that feeling of, okay, this person is meant to be in my world. And it doesn't happen.
all that often, at least that deeply. I mean, so I have a theory that I'll share with you right off the hop is that we, I have about three circles in my world that people fit into. There are like the intimate circle, the closest people, there are about maybe five people in that realm. And that is because those are my ride or die people. Those are my people who showed up and proved to me that they had my back, proved to me that
they were there no matter what. And then there's sort of the middle circle where we have all those other people that we're close with. We care about them. We care about them deeply. And yet they're not quite at... Now they could move into the inner circle. They could. And maybe it's time, maybe it's something needs to happen to show their true colors. It's hard to say, but we want to keep them close, but they're not quite in
that like intimacy with us yet. And then there's the outer circle and that's sort of everybody that we know and people that we care about, people that we want to keep in our world. And yet, you know, maybe they're not really the right energy or the right fit for us, but we care about them. So Mia right now, I think she's edging her way in that inner circle, just so you're aware where she's where she's fitting in my world. She's
sort of edging her way in. And I am so excited about that because I see what she is doing in this world. I see how valuable the work that she is doing is because not everybody is going to necessarily be the best Oprah. right? There's only one Oprah, right? And that's great. We need Oprah. We also need everybody else. We also need
everybody else. And what would it feel like if we could start to embrace our lives and engage our lives with passion and excitement and like, whatever that is, I don't know if there are small kids around, they are great examples of this, right? What if we could change a dirty bum with laughter and joy and, you know, engaged, engaged with that child or with that adult that we care for, or with nature, or with whatever, cooking.
It doesn't matter what it is. What if you could engage in your life in a passionate, ignited way? And I'm just here to tell you it's possible. It is absolutely possible. Yeah. So paint the picture for I'm like weeping already. A picture of us sucked right in. live engaged in your life. How were you living before? And who were you even 10 years ago? And, you know, and then we'll go through that and we'll come out and say what things started to change to really try and make
it tangible. Because I'm not encouraging Big
life events to happen in people's lives. Like the whole point is that we can do that right now listening to this podcast if you're Washing dishes and they're kind of clunking around, you know, you could turn up the volume and slow down the washing Just be here a little bit deeper right instead of having a 27 year relationship pull the rug out or you know other event other event type of thing so that that's the big piece because if we build that foundation when something
happens as the saying goes when life gets lifey we'll be stronger to face it we'll be more resilient and that doesn't mean it's not going to suck it just means that we will do a more peaceful it'll be a more peaceful journey. It will still be painful, it will still have lessons, it will still have growth, but will be just a little bit more kind of like prepared or like stronger
to walk into it. Okay, so first thing that I think I want to just say on that note is there are lots of things that happen in this life that we can't predict. And if you've been hit by one of those things, it's okay. It's okay to fall down. It's okay to struggle to get back up. It's okay. Okay, so if you're in that place right now with all of the love in my heart, take care of you and do what you need to do in this moment to get back on your feet. That's the first thing.
Okay, and if that means that you need to rage, if that means that you need to scream, if that means that you need to hit a pillow, that means that you need to cry, if that means that you need to go and sit in nature for a little bit, do it. do it, because one of the things that I recognized as I was going through this process, and there's a lot to this story, so hopefully we can get everything in in this hour that I've got with you. But if not, then I'll come back.
She'll be in the summit in November, guys, so stay tuned. One of the things that really became clear to me, and this actually was before the marriage ended, it was, I was doing a lot of writing. I lost my sister in a car accident about 15 years ago, I think. And, um, I was doing a lot of writing because that's how I process and I'm pretty good at it. I'm pretty good at it. Well, book number one, international bestselling
book. Um, so. I was doing a lot of writing and one of the things that hit me at one point was there is only one person on this planet that you will have with you from the moment you are born until the moment you die, right? One person and that's you, one. You are the person that you have so it is essential for us to take care of ourselves well. You know, you hear people talking about put the mask on first, right? it's essential that we take care of ourselves. What
happened as a result of... So I'll just sort of give you the backstory really quickly. I became a mom at 17, lived on welfare with my son for I don't know how many years, probably five or six years before I was able to get an education. In the meantime, I met my former husband and... we started to build a life together and went back to school, got my college diploma, blah, blah, you know, all of that kind of stuff. Started a business. Started the business because I didn't
know what else to do. My son had some challenges and keeping him in school or keeping him in like solid childcare became really difficult. So although I'd gone to school and gotten this education, I wasn't able to keep a job. between appointments and, you know, dealing with the circumstances, I wasn't able to keep a job. So I decided to start a business and wow, just, I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't know people who were in business. It was just like, okay, I've got
this skill. I can do bookkeeping. I can do bookkeeping. And this was like a while ago, right? Before the internet was so prolific, right? 2020, yeah, 25 years now. So I, I'm sorry, 2000. It was the year that it was the year that we got married. Um, anyway, so 25 years ago, I started this business and I'll tell you what, like face meet earth. It was insane because I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know how to sell. I didn't come from that background. Right. And I had the skill
set. So the beautiful thing was to keep trying and trying and trying. So started it here, then moved to another city, started it there, same result, then moved to Alberta, which is another province here in Canada, not far from Mia. The Canadian Texas. So we moved to Alberta and that one was the third time was a charm. Okay. And I learned so much in the process, but I also, and this is where I think this whole thing began, was making that move across the country with...
My husband at the time, my almost grown son, a big dog named Missy and what we could carry into vehicles. That was we had no jobs waiting. We had a hotel room with a kitchenette waiting on the other end because I had come to a place where I understood that something had to change. And that was the thing that for some reason felt like it was the right move. And it was. because what happened was all of a sudden this Jackie person who had, you know, ruined her life at
16 when she got pregnant. And, you know, all like, just forget it, Jackie, all of your dreams, all of your goals, all of your happy blah, blah, forget it. I had lived into that. And when I went to Alberta, all of a sudden they had people going, wait a second, you packed up two vehicles and moved across the country. How brave are you? Right. And so that feedback started to make me think about myself in a different way. Right. And I started to think, wow, you know, what if
they're right? What if I'm not a failure? What if I'm not a loser? What if I'm not a, you know, what if I didn't ruin my life? What if I, what if there's still time? What if I could still become? Right. And that's where it starts to get really interesting. playing with those ideas. And at the time, I mean, I thought I had a solid marriage and I thought that we were good, right? I was building this business. We were accumulating
some money for the first time in my life. We weren't living in abject poverty, you know, and it was like, Oh my God. So that was, I think the turning point for me. At a certain point, I got sick. We decided we were going to move. It was always in the cards that we were probably going to move home. But I got sick and it was necessary for us to make that decision earlier than anticipated. And about a year or so after that was when my sister had her car accident.
So you had to move home in order to be there for that, right? Well, you know, in order to have time with her before. in order to have time with her before it happened. And then, you know, and I mean, there's a whole story that goes along with that. I don't really want to go too far into that right now. But the story was obviously, this was unexpected. This was a knock me flat moment. And one of the things I remember very clearly was thinking to myself like, I've lost
people before. I've lost people before and I have never felt like this. I have never felt like I can't get back up on my feet. I've never felt like I can't function. I've never felt like just so lost and empty. And so the result was where the marriage I think started to fall apart. My ex -husband came home one day and to be fair, I had not been honest with anybody. I had not told anybody how badly I was struggling with my grief or what was actually happening inside
me. But he came home one day and I was in my office sitting at my desk working away because that day I'd been able to find my focus, right? And it was so wonderful because I was... struggling, but I was accomplishing something. Right. And he came into my office and I'm like, what are you doing home in the middle of the day? And he goes, oh, I lost my job. Now, if you've ever seen that movie Titanic, like this is how this
is how that moment felt for me. Every time I've seen that movie, it's like the moment that she pushes Jack off of the the door or whatever she's on in the ocean and he just sinks. That was the moment because I was struggling so much just to keep my head above water and to keep functioning and keep showing up and keep taking care of him and our son and the house and the dogs and my clients and show up and I had no idea how to do that but in that moment I felt very much alone
and I felt like I went under. And he was unemployed for about a year and a half after that. By the time he found work again, we were struggling with some debt. And I mean, there's a whole other story there, right? Because debt and stress, financial stress is... really hard on a marriage, but it's also really hard on us in our beings and our bodies. It's really hard on us. So there was this stress of like, okay, I can't find my feet again. I don't know what like, what the
hell does life look like without her? What does it look like to never have a Christmas with my sister again? You know, all of that kind of all of that kind of stuff. So I started going to the beach and I started listening to music in partly an effort to crack myself open because I recognized that I had gotten really shut down. you know, especially after the loss of the job,
but I recognize that. And also what happened in the meantime was that people, you know, I'm pretty well connected in my community and people kind of like me, you know. So I'm going through this grief journey and people are saying to me, oh, could you come and speak for my group? Could you come and talk about what this has been like for you? She was also, by the way, she was also well known in the community. So I started to
speak. And then one day this, this thing happened and, you know, isn't that always the way one day something happens. And I met these, these women and they were running this. monthly group thing called Mo Mondays. I'm not sure if it's everywhere, but in Ontario, it was really big in London for a while. And I had met them. I loved their energy. Same sort of, you know, like, oh, this person's meant to be here. So I was talking with them one day because I was going
to these things and I loved it. The format was basically this. You have a life changing event that happens. So you share three things that you learned. You share the story, but you share three things that you learned as a result of
that story. And excuse me. And, um, so I, I was just loving all of these, like people, some of them I knew really well, some of them I barely knew some of them I didn't know, but they were getting up there and they were sharing from a vulnerable place, something that had happened to them and what that had created for them. So I remember saying to one of them one night, Uh, you know, I, I just love this so much and one of these days I'm going to get on that stage.
Ah, so you were just going, you were just going. Yeah. Yeah. One of these days I'm going to be on that stage. And the ironic thing was that I, I was terrified of public speaking at that time. So small groups were okay. You know, five, 10 people, that was fine. But once you got into like hundreds of people, forget it. Yeah, sure.
So. I don't know maybe two weeks later I get a call from one of them and she go right she goes um so one of our speakers had to cancel something came up for them and they had to cancel for our next show which is in two weeks and uh we have a spot to fill we'd like you to fill it and I was like yes yes yes I'll do it yes yeah because I've also learned that most of the time when you get that yeah There's a thing. There's a thing that can be really, really good
for you if you allow it. Yes. Yeah, so I started to frantically write and I was writing writing writing writing because I was trying to figure out my three things and So I was writing this whole thing about this grief journey and what it was like to lose my sister and what what you know what I learned in the process getting getting prepared because I've got to be on a stage in front of hundreds of people in two weeks and I've got to come up with a talk and most people
have months to prepare for this and I've got two weeks to do it anyway, so I'm like frantically writing And one day I had this moment where I hit my own grief and that hadn't happened yet because I was so busy taking care of everybody and everything that I had not yet hit this place where I recognized that I had lost my big sister.
You know, I'd lost the one who had danced me around the living room on her feet and taught me how to drive and taught me how to apply eye makeup and helped me take care of my son when he was small and all of these things. And, oh my God, it hurt, but it cracked it. Like it cracked me wide open and all of this pain poured out. Also, one of the really great things for me was
writing. And so whatever your thing is, like maybe it's baking, maybe it's writing, maybe it's speaking, maybe it's singing, I don't know what it is. Because each of us, there will be a different thing that we can do to help us process. So if you don't know what that is, find it. Journaling can be a really great place to start. Find it. So that's what happened. They hit this grief place. And I already had my three things, by the way. When I hit that grief place, I already
had my three things. I knew exactly what I was going to say. Well, that night comes and I get up on that stage and, you know, knees knocking. But the most beautiful thing happened was as soon as the spotlight hit me, I felt like I was home and I wasn't trying to be anybody that I wasn't. I was sharing my story from the place in my heart that it was real. and it was true. And the audience was with me every single step. It was amazing. It was like, I am looking out
because people tell you, right? People tell you what to do from stage. They go, okay, so don't focus on one person. You've got to scan, right? And you've got to engage people and maybe focus on one person in a moment, whatever. There are techniques for this, right? So I'm, I'm doing all the techniques and I'm, I'm talking about this very personal, very painful moment in my life. They were crying. They were laughing. They were, you know, they were with me. They were
absolute with me. And I finally got to the place where my second thing and I had said, okay, so I'm, I'm a believer in God and I had said, there is no way. that I am going to share that, that part that is so raw and so ouchy. There is no way that I am going to say that from that stage. And I got my second point out and then my mind went completely blank and the only thing that
was left was that. And I'm so glad because I had people coming to me months and months and months later saying thank you for sharing that because your willingness to open that up allowed me to deal with my grief about my father that I lost 30 years ago. you know, allowed me to, uh, I was hearing from people that I knew that somebody came to me and they, I'm like counselors, right? They couldn't tell me who it was and that was okay, but somebody came to get help because
of what you said on that stage. And I was like, what? Like, I'm just a bookkeeper, right? I'm just a bookkeeper and a wife and a mom and a dog owner and a, like I'm, huh? Yeah. So that's where it started to get really interesting. The piece about the marriage. Let's pull out a few pieces here. Sure. In this. So I want you guys to really hear what's happening in Jackie's life. It's happening over a longer period of time and
it's building into something. And as life is advancing over time, Jackie's starting to respond to things a little bit differently, starting to think about things a little bit differently, which then allows her to see opportunities that she might not have considered before and is opening her up to more, maybe, well, let's try. Well, what could that look like? Rather than The the very painful initial story of I ruined my whole life There's nothing left and like she was still
a baby herself as a teenager, right? And so we're these are all just such Everyday examples of where we might be holding ourselves back from ourselves with some bullshit limiting belief excuse not to and so when Jackie was saying well what if this and maybe I'm not bad it's one of my favorite and easiest kind of coaching tools or even just self -reflection as a side by side where you have your current belief and then well what else could be possible because there's like
nine billion plus people on the planet so whatever precise reality you're living in is not the only reality that you have available to you if nine nine billion minus one other people have done things slightly different than you right and that's not a comparison that is what is possible what is possible and then that the things that we go through are sometimes and most often meant for much greater God uses us to help reach others and that's such a poignant and like you know,
laugh out of my chair, because of course he would do that. Oh, you don't want to say that? Poof! And he like waves his magic wand. And then he's like, what are you going to talk about now, huh? And you're like, ah! This is one of my, and Lord forgive me, but one of my kind of sarcastic and hilarious things. It's like, it can be a pain in the butt to follow Jesus because then you couldn't do the things you don't want to do.
but he equips you to do them. And then look at, look at where it took Jackie, not only for your own healing Jackie, but then to touch other people's lives. And then in that you realize you're so much like, how much is possible for you as a result of that. This isn't relating to bookkeeping. This isn't to land coaching clients. This isn't to like, rah rah how you went from you know 250 ,000 in debt to a million in the green in the
bank. This is just heart to heart sharing for your healing and for just the reason that you said yes to that speaking invitation and the timing of that was meant to now take us into this next part of your story because you haven't your husband hasn't left you yet at this point. No. No, we were still together at this point, but what had started to shift in me and I'm going
to share with you one of the. One of the hardest pieces of releasing my marriage and releasing him was a sense of guilt because now this thing has happened, right? So I've I've had this. momentous moment on stage. And I've had this thing happen where my sister is now gone, and that's caused me to re -examine my life. And am I happy? And what am I doing? And what could I be doing? And to your point, Mia, one of the things that I love to talk about is mindset. I mean, that's
really my shtick, right? And we think that we know everything. Our brain is an amazing, wonderful machine. And it tells us what is possible. It tells us what we can have. It tells us there's all this conditioning inside us that says, okay, Jackie, you're just a bookkeeper. Jackie, you ruined your life at 16. Jackie, you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? But here's the thing. Our mind is very limited because it's limited to the information
it already has. And as Mia said, there are 9 billion people on this planet. How many places have you never seen? How many experiences that have you never had? When you start to play with this, like, wow is something. And I love just maybe, just maybe because there's no pressure, right? And then I can, I can play with it and I can be like, Ooh, what might that be like? What might it be like to go and work on a beach? Right? Like just somebody pampering me all day
long. What might that be like? So getting into the really crazy time. So it was nine days before my tax deadline, still doing bookkeeping and taxes. And we had had a separation a couple of years earlier for a few months, but then he came back. And he said to me, because by then I'd started coaching, you know, like people were like, Oh, I want to work with you. Oh, I've seen you speak. Oh, you know, I want to, how can you
help me? And so I'd started coaching and I was speaking and he said when he came home that, um, that he couldn't get behind that work. So If I wanted the marriage, then I needed to let that go and focus on the accounting. And I did. And I'm not going to say that I regret that because, you know, I don't regret much. You know, it was the decision that I made at the time. I did lose a lot of momentum. Right. And it's okay. It's okay. Because, you know, momentum, you can build
it again. I mean, here's the thing. If you have built it once, you can build it again. Okay? So sometimes the timing is not right now, but if you've done it, if you have the skill set, if you have the God given gift to do something, it may go away for a little while. You may make decisions that might take that a bit off track and that's okay. It's okay, because you will find your way back. Those things that are meant
for us are never gone. They are never gone. It's so important to sit in that, you guys, because otherwise you're always activating and hijacking your nervous system in scarcity and survival
mode. this is a big piece I swear I'm living through it now of just being okay with what is and what's happening is like I'm showing up way more comfortable yeah because now it just is it is like hanging out with friends when I'm out there offering my my coaching services audience or not I'm just like this is where it's coming from and it is pressureless and there is a an expected result, but there's no like Amazon 24
hour delivery guarantee. And normalizing that and creating that safety in your body is so crucial to sustaining it. And like Jackie's saying, to waiting for when it comes around again. And in this case, you were shown Something very big like like a day in the life of Jackie Five years from now or whatever the timeline is Right. And
so now you have evidence in your life. Your brain has this more information That is in the database that you can access again So yes, I love that because you don't have to do everything right now. We You know, we take each day as it comes but we can take a little bit for granted that
there are more days to come too. Okay so keep us going because that's that is really powerful of sitting in the moment and what's really great here too Jackie is you you came back to all of that so now you're living evidence to all of the listeners and that you can rebuild momentum and that really allows that scarcity mindset
to drop away and be safe with what is. Yeah and one of the things when we're talking about lack or scarcity one of the things that I oh god I just love you gotta get the book because it's all in there but one of the things I really love to say is like you've always had enough. Yeah. You've always had enough and I know that you've always had enough because you're still here, you're still breathing, you're still with us and you're with us on this podcast. Right? So
you've always had enough. Now, maybe it's time to start thinking about what would I like? What would I enjoy? You know, maybe enough isn't enough anymore. Right? So, and it's okay if it takes you time. It's okay if you have to step out. The guilt that I dealt with was because I knew that something was shifting and I had so much,
it was a very codependent relationship. And I had so much invested in him, in the relationship, all of my goals, all of my dreams, all of my... plans for the future were all tied up in this marriage and making him happy, you know, and being the perfect wife, which I wasn't, but you know, that was, and that was also another stick that I would beat myself over the head with, right? I'm not the perfect wife. Well, who is,
who is, right? So it was actually a blessing and it took me a long time to get there because I was just feeling guilty and I was feeling obligated. I was feeling like, okay, I took these vows, but man, what would my life be like? What could my life be like? And understanding on some really deep level that he simply couldn't go with me, whether he may want to or not. he wasn't the right person to accompany me on this leg of my journey. He had been valuable to me for, obviously,
for a long time, right? In some ways, and one of them was providing me the safety and the feeling of security in my life because he was my husband, right? And so that created this false sense of security, in all honesty, but This security that I had allowed me to then explore and blossom into who I was becoming and heal those things inside, or at least start healing. I mean, I don't believe healing is ever like one and done
thing. I think it's a journey, right? But starting that healing starting that emergence starting that you know Blossoming into and exploring these like oh, I'm just a bookkeeper But man, I did that holy crap really that happened because of something that I said on a stage. Are you kidding me? Um, so all of that, anyway, so nine days before my, my tax deadline, um, I came upstairs and, uh, he was up earlier than I was. He was sitting in the living room and I made myself
a coffee. I had a client coming in an hour and a half. So I had an hour and a half to start my day, make my coffee, have my shower, all of the stuff, right? Brand new client coming in an hour and a half. And, um, so I, I said, good morning, gave him a kiss. hug, opened up the blinds. And I was like, okay, so we haven't really had a lot of time together lately, you know, because it's been really busy. How do you feel about going to a movie tonight? Oh, well, you
know, the hockey game's on tonight. And I went, okay, so I'm feeling really disconnected from you. And I really would like to spend some time together tonight. And his response was that He wasn't happy. He hadn't been happy. He hadn't wanted to do this that particular day, but since I'd brought it up, he was done with the marriage. And he was gone. He was packed and gone within about two hours. So while I was meeting with
this new client, he was packing. and gone, the moment that that person went out the door, he showed up at my office door and the car was packed, he was going. So, yeah, like my entire life blew up in minutes. in minutes. And there was a real journey to that healing. And I still, in all honesty, I still feel like sometimes I'm going through pieces of that, right? Because it hit so many different things. I found out that there was another person a few weeks later and that
hit every, right? Right? Like, not enough, not good, no matter what I did. No, I'm piece of crap. It's that rich. Wow. Like it brought up all of my, I call them demons. I call these voices in the back of my head. I call them my demons. And I say that I dance with them sometimes. Right? So when my demon starts to tell me I'm not good enough, when my demon starts to tell me that I'm not pretty enough or skinny enough, or, you know, or what, anything, I'm not funny enough.
I'm not smart enough. I'm not like anything enough. Right? Not the truth. That's why I call it a demon because it is not truth, right? I did not ruin my life when I was 16 years old. I did not ruin my life by marrying the person that I married. I did not ruin my life. Darlings, your life is not ruined. You may be going through some temporary crap. You may have made decisions that have made things more challenging. You know, I was an A
plus student. I was an honor roll student when I, when I got pregnant and when I think about that girl and what she bought into the, the stories that she bought into. And I think, ah, ah, my heart breaks for her, you know, because the truth is the matter. Like what, Oh, what did she do wrong? Oh, there's a baby coming. Oh no. Oh no. There's a, there's a beautiful creation. gift from God showing up on this planet. Oh, no. Right?
Stigma, stigma, stigma. If, if I had had a different point of view that I could have bought into, I mean, yes, things are definitely more complicated, but there is no reason in the world why I could not have gone on to do everything that I thought that I wanted to do. There's no reason in the world. Right, so this is this is the stuff. This is this believe all things are possible because our beliefs shape our reality They shape what we believe that we can do or what's available
to us. What does it mean to love or be loved? What does it mean to be successful or failure? What does it mean? What does it mean to have money or not have money? What does it mean? And that's all living back there. And we can change that. And that is the really exciting thing that came out of all of this, like, holy crap, what does it mean that he's now found another person? What does it mean that I wasn't enough to keep him satisfied and at home? What does it mean
that I have now been left? And when you talk about debt, holy crap, the financial mess, what does it mean? what does all of this mean? I thought I would lose my house. I thought that I would become dependent on my mother for the rest of my life. I thought, I thought, I thought. And like you think about that and you're like, okay, but you, you had a bookkeeping business. You were successful, right? Why would you think that you were going to become dependent on your mother?
Like, where does that come from? It comes from here. Like you said, the brain as a database only sees and processes what it has. And the unknown is literally unknown. But if you can play in that maybe space or the side -by -side
alternate reality game. Then you can start to bring that in and I think that's the power of visualization not as something frou -frou but of a climatizing your physiological self feel and and be in a situation different than the one that you're actually living and then you normalize that you familiarize that and it becomes part of your database even though it hasn't happened and you know manifestation prayers answered preferably thank you and working towards that with a conviction
and a certainty that maybe it is possible and in all of this you said at the beginning like engaging in your life a little bit more. So we've heard of being present, oh look at my computer and how silver it is. Also like you are the steward of your thoughts because you are a soul living in a body and if you can observe your mind and its thoughts and let your soul kind of go around that, then you steward your thoughts, which believe such a great title for a book all about the actual
way that you do this in your day. Right? Like again, guys wearing the best day ever t -shirt, copy number two, three of these t -shirts and then I'll stop wearing the same stinky t -shirt every day. Anyway, this is how you have your best day ever, every day. Like I kind of have given an example and then we'll give it back to Jackie to kind of round off because her and I, oh my God, we need to do like a day long workshop or something around all of this deep, deep conversation.
But the thing is, it's just happening in the day to day. It is like Jackie still has her job as a bookkeeper, her business, right? She's launched her coaching career. She's become a bestselling international author. But she's still Jackie. She still has her son. She still has her friend. She still has her life. It's not like she's jet setting with diamonds, you know, on the daily. Like we're still just the women that we were. We're just more of her because we're practicing
and implementing this into the day to day. So I just want to give a hopefully a very relatable and boring example of what all of this means I have a dumb but important job, right? When neighbors complain about each other, I come in and sort them out. And it's hilarious to me because I am like such a youthful and colourful person who has to do this very serious and authoritative type job. So I always have this duality of... you know, two different personalities that have
to coexist. So instead, I mush them together and I get some semblance of a decent bylaw officer out of it, because I was, I was compartmentalizing them. And the context here is just that is this mindset, where you let your soul lead as what else is possible. Well, I have to be like this, and I have to be serious, and I have to that. At work, I allow myself to be expressed professionally.
I'm representing my local government, so I am, you know, sort of like an ambassador and I am branded under their culture, but I am still Mia, the beautiful, sparkly human, and I can have some fun with it. And I have a lot of autonomy over how I run that service. And there are days where the complaints are so... mundane and petty that I get frustrated. So now I allow that frustration, like Jackie was saying, let yourself go through it, express those emotions, and then come back
around. And for me now, I'm like, well, how can I have fun with this? How can I engage and create meaning for myself in this and make it interesting by shifting my perspective? I am not in the business of behavior change. You are in the business of your own behavior change, which is like, you know, great catchphrase for what Jackie and I
are talking about here. So if I can't change how somebody else is going to behave, including my child every morning on the way to school or at bedtime every night, bless her sweet little heart, wouldn't trade her for the world, then what am I going to change about myself? And how am I going to make this better and more peaceful and enjoyable for myself? And so very wonderfully, like I honestly, guys, I hate returning voicemails
at work. I dread it. But then every once in a while I get given a gift and I returned a voicemail with a woman and I'm going through the list and I'm like, okay, here we go another one. Hi, someone's calling back. How can I help you? And it was a complaint about noise and you just, you never know what you're walking into. And this is where when you apply the thought stewardship, you can have little blessings like this. So I just want to keep reminding of the context while I share
this delightful story. So I call this woman back, she's complaining about noise and there's construction happening very close proximity to her home and it's rattling the bed. She's telling me this. She's like, is there anything that can be done? Because it really rattles the bed. And then there's like this very, it felt like a very conscious pause between the two of us. And then she goes, I mean, I know some people would pay good money for that. This little fellow to my chair. And
I was like, oh. And now we're howling on the phone. Thank you for saying that because I was totally thinking it. So we're like, we're staying in the professional capacity, but we're being real with each other. And that was it. That just erased all of the other garbage that was holding on in the day, right? So sometimes somebody can help shake you out of it, but You have to be a little bit soft inside like Jackie was saying
about the cracking of the grief. You have to be a little bit soft and when you go through something and you hold yourself you can apply it everywhere. Everywhere. I joke a lot about folding laundry but I have been doing conscious thought stewardship that when I fold and it sounds so cheesy but like I'm really grateful to have
the hat laundry. I have too many clothes so if I don't like folding laundry my choices are get rid all your clothes girl or enjoy having what you have and it's so simple and sometimes I get a bit frustrated with like all the cliches of it but this is how we really Like what Jackie reprogram build build ourselves build ourselves into a state of it's always been enough But now
how can I turn that enough into more? service and Even return in my own life Yeah, I have a phrase that I use when I talk about this stuff and it's the subliminal soundtrack So I talk about it from a place of rewriting the stories Right. Rewriting the belief systems to support us. You know, one of the most important jobs
that I've ever done is being a mom. And I was thinking actually just this morning with my first cup of coffee, I was outside, I've got this patio spot and I was sitting out there and I was thinking, what am I most proud of? What am I most proud of in my life? And first and foremost is the human being that I've become. because they think that that is absolutely essential. If you're not the kind of person that you like, then you
got to do something about that, right? If you can ground yourself in, you know what, I'm a solid friend. I do the best I can with pretty much everything that I do, even if maybe some days it's not everything. If it's all I have to give, then it's all I have to give. I do the very best I can. I show up in the best way that I know how. I do my very best not to cause harm
to anyone. I'm very proud of those things. My career, my work, yes, I'm proud of that stuff too, but at the same time, it's more about who am I in this world and what kind of an impression am I going to leave on the lives that I am? Part of or that I've touched right my son He is the the biggest best job That I have ever done in
my life now. He's a grown man now. He does still live here because Stuff happened pandemic all of that other stuff and He's a good guy, you know, so There are some people, I think that like, if you're, if you're talking about jet setting and I don't even know if I'll ever want to do that. Like I know that that appeals to some people. I'm not sure that that really appeals to me. Having said that I'm open. I'm open to trying it. Maybe. I mean, that pampered on the
beach thing sounded pretty good. It's possible. So, um, but I think that the, the stuff that we don't understand is that the biggest impact sometimes that we make is just in doing those things that we do. We show up as whatever partner, mom, whatever job, because each of these are roles, right? And we show up in those roles. And if you do your best, if you do the best that you can, you know, Ian and I have talked a lot
because he's now a grown man. And it was so amazing because, and it was, I think shortly after the marriage ended, he came to me one day and he said, you know, I was just thinking mom, and like you were 17 years old, you know, and it was amazing because I think that the healing or the whatever that was going on around the life change caused both of us to be kind of reflective. And he said, I've been thinking about this a lot. You were 17. And he had been carrying around
anger. I hadn't done enough. I hadn't whatever, said the right thing at that moment or done the right thing at that moment. By the way, there is no perfect mom. There is no such thing. So just throw that out the window and do the best you can. That's all that's all you've got. Um, but he said to me, you know, you were 17 years
old and Wow, right? Like look what you did and you know, and he knows some of the challenges and and all of that stuff, but like just that one piece, what did you know at 17 years old?
He says i'm like I'm 20 almost 20 years older than you were when you had me And i'm not sure that I could have done any better than you did You know, so it's those moments and and if you're in a place where somebody offers you love like that Offers you understanding compassion forgiveness, whatever That thing is I would really really really encourage you to hear them and acknowledge and Allow it. Allow yourself to receive that,
right? Because I absolutely believed that I had not done some of the things that I would do now, right? If I became a mom now, I would do things completely differently. But you're a completely different person. Yeah. And what I'm hearing in this is it's safe to be who you are. It's safe to be who you are, as long as you're not a huge dick, intentionally running around hurting people. Just don't be a dick. Most of us are not the bad person that we think we are, right?
And like, in sharing, it's in the day to day, like that hilarious phone call. I'm going to be talking about that forever. And it was so just blended in. But because I showed up, you know, in integrity, in service, proud to be the woman that I am at work, at home, etc. I got that gift. And it may not lend me a $10 ,000 client or pay off my debt overnight or any of those sensational things, but it went in my heart.
My heart's glowing brighter. as a result of that and then that feeds my soul to keep showing up for little beautiful drops of experiences like that that then lead to whatever else and whatever else and whatever else right and that's the whole thing and I love that you say you know most moms will say my kids are what i'm most proud of but Jackie you make such a powerful point about being most proud of yourself and then immediately on your heels hopefully of your children too right
because you are let's bring it all back to the beginning you are who you're always with always always you invest in you and in your time We have talked about so much, such deep spaces. We didn't really get a chance to the next chapter of where Jackie's at, but I think it's kind of evident that now she's living in her best life and there's just going to be more of that to come. It doesn't mean there's not enough of it now. Now it's just parties on. The party's on,
baby. And let's go. So Jackie and I are going to stay in each other's space. We're going to continue to show up for you all and do fun things. And I'm going to encourage you to go and follow her along on her socials. She's got her website. She's on YouTube, Facebook and Instagram. Jackie Mott mindset empowerment. And all those links will be in the show notes. And she's working on her YouTube channel and whatever else is coming up. So you just get in her space and stay there.
And let's all go out and get that book. Maybe we could do a book club on Jackie's book. I would love to do that. That would be fun. Yeah, and do that. So anything that you want to say in closing to our listeners, to me, to yourself? Well, to you, thank you. Thank you for stalking me into being your friend, because I'm very thrilled to be in that circle with you. And just do the best you can, right? To the listeners, just whatever it is, do the best you can. And that's enough.
Whether people want to tell you that it is or not, that's their stuff, right? Just show up in the best version of you that you can. And if you need help, You know, people like Mia and myself, and there are lots of people. If we're not the right line, well, I would have to guess that we're the right voices for you because you're here. But if we're not, find the right voices, right? Follow me. Check in with me. If you've got a challenge, please reach out. Please reach
out. I'm happy to have a conversation and see how we can, and believe it or not, some of this stuff is really very quick. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful. Awesome. Well, thanks so much, Jackie. Have the best day ever. Thank you, you too.