Blame It On Brenda FT. Queen Naija

If you ain't in the bad with your lady and you. It's something that's smelling like a fish fry on a Friday night, thinking it as hot, but you probably throw U p ain't y'ash.

You know real quick.

I hate when people say a fish fry, fish fries smell.

Good, crying. It's a.

Fish fry, fish fribby smelling delicious. It's the raw fish that's the problem.

Fry. It's the fish when it's wrong for you to say that.

Okay, but I'm just say a fish fry a fish fish it is.

But that's not how you want your vagina to smell. I mean fake.

But you know what I'm saying, Fries smell edible is what I'm saying.

What's up, y'all? Is your girl lex p and it's your girl Drey.

In the call, you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Mine, whereas drunk mind speaks sober thought.

We gotta guess today, We gotta guess today.

So y'all know, y'all have been asking for this guest to come on for a long time.

First of all, and second of all, I don't.

Even know how to give this introduction because a YouTube star turned into an R and B sensation that we have all jammed her music and me going through it esday.

Lla, Hello, Hello, Hello, thank y'all for having me, Thank you for coming.

Because one thing about me, like I do not care who it is. I'm a slap and people dms. Yes, I'm a DM slider, Like, I don't care if I'm like a fan of you, and I feel like will vibe. I'm like, I'm gonna sign they dms and ask because the worst you can say is no.

I don't know how I missed that.

Yeah, So I slid in your DMS like a long time ago, and I was like, y'all, I mean I shot my shot. Maybe she'll respond, And I swear you were up like late because you were responded at like three in the morning.

Yeah. I think I was looking through all of my requests. Okay, that's probably.

Yeah.

I was looking at my request and then I went, you know how you can go to the little part where it says verified or something like that, and so.

I saw it. I was like, oh my god, how did I miss this? Yes, but I was like, oh my god, I woke up. I was like, I screened shot it. I was like y'all. She responded with the chat and I was like, yeah, yeah, he didn't want to have you on for a while. So I didn't know people was asking me to come on here. Oh yeah.

They love like when we have the girls on because it's like a girl's talking.

Yeah. So, and I'm not gonna lie.

We've had a lot of male gifts lately and they're like bringing the girls.

We're the wimmen. Yes, but I mean, is it like harder to get girls?

I was about to say that one thing. It depends. I think it depends. But honestly, what shocked me is girls don't be girls.

Girls like, yeah, they don't. You know what I'm saying, come on a lot. Well, I'm not gonna say a lot of the time because some of them do. They'll respond and they'll be friendly and they'll be like, oh yeah, I will love to come on, and they do, but they don't, or they be asking for a budgie and I'd be like, people charge for interviews.

I didn't even know it was a.

Theme neither, because I felt like, you know, if you have something to promote, it's gonna help them, both of them. Yeah, you got something going on, but sometimes people would just straight up flat. I'll be like no, yes and be like because I feel like there's a way to say no.

Yeah, I don't like that. I'm like, yeah, like just to be.

Like, you know, unfortunately right now it's not the right time. You know, you know, we'll circle back. It's just a professionalism. Like we had somebody emails back and that was like, she's not interested.

What they asked for a budgie first DNA see, yeah, but not interested. Oh it's like she was interested, but it was TG if we had a budge.

Have you ever had a situation where like you reached out to somebody to do a song with and they hurt your feelings?

Read that's why I agree. I don't believe that girls that are really girls. Girl, No, they're not, and I am and it hurts my feelings. Yeah, and it's like, dang, I should pull it back or whatever, because like.

I'm just a naturally friendly person.

But yeah, that has happened to me actually recently really because I've been working on my album and actually it's almost finished, and I was like, I would love to have you, Like what did I say?

I think I said I would love.

To have you like, but let me know, like if you're interested, if you're not, it's okay. And I would have been okay if the person would have just been like no, not interested or no Red, I said, you know what, I'm not doing this thing.

And I just feel like that's so rude because like I could see that you're ready.

Yeah, you could have said you could have said no, you could have it, and I would have respected it.

And it's like, that's my issue because I have to choose between being personal or like just being professional. And sometimes, like especially with an interview like this, because when we're in the DM talk on my girl, I'm not gonna ask you nothing crazy. We don't look for viral moments. Yeah, you just like to have a good time with their guess. So I sometimes I'll be wishing, like when I DM people and they leave me on RED and they don't take nothing, I'm like, I should.

Have just sent Shay to you, just yeah, so you don't have to deal with.

The yeah, like feeling embarrassed because I'm second, Yeah, that's embarrassing.

Everything hurt my feelings. I was like ooh, like oach, But I did get.

It from the perspective that you were just talking about, Like, I get the apprehension that people might have weill coming on the show just because a lot of shows, I do feel like they be looking for the viral moments and they do be making the gifts feel uncomfortable and stuff. So I can understand why, especially if somebody haven't heard of the show, automatically they like, oh no, I don't really want to do the interview.

I mean, but I think we've been doing this for so long, Like when we have things that go viral, it really be accidents. Yeah, Like I'll never be like, oh yeah, tell me the tea about this.

Yeah. Yeah, it's never given.

And then I mean the person just should be able to know how to answer the question.

And be like, you know what, I don't really want to lie.

Some people don't have media training though they know we don't have a few people sit on this couch to.

Get but why really I think we have.

I do a really good job of making people feel really comfortable because they meet us and they're like, oh, they're so sweet, they're so nice, and.

Then we funny and we be joking.

But I feel like a lot of time people are started loosening it, and especially when they're drinking too.

Then we got hurt. She'd be making the drinks, picking up on them. They get comfortable, girl, and they be cutting up.

They be texting us afterwards like can you delete these? Yeah, I'm not lying removing any girl, but they be cutting up.

We haven't had well.

I when I first, like started out, I did have like a media training session or two.

But I don't know. I just don't. I haven't had in a while. I don't know. I just don't like the thing. Yeah really, why not? Because I want to be like unapologetically me. Yeah.

And also though, like as you grow and do more and more interviews, like you'll know what to bobby with.

With, Like, yeah, so, how do you feel now because being that you started off on YouTube and you know, we being that we started off on YouTube as well, were still on YouTube. Yeah, it's like but it's different because when you first start out, you just say whatever, you're doing whatever, and it's so many things that come back people will clip.

Old Oh my god, say and do.

So how do you feel now knowing that it's like a lot of stuff that you said that you.

Were when you were younger?

Oh my god, It's like I look back at a lot of things and like I cringe, but yeah, but it's like at the same time, that's what growth is about. I feel like a lot of people in this just new social.

Media world, they don't appreciate growth. They don't understand it.

If like you said something years ago, they're gonna look at you as that same person and yeah, they just don't understand growth.

I don't. I don't know, but I agree. I mean, hey, like all you could do is really just apologize and move one.

Have you ever had an instance where like you did an interview or something and you said something he was like, oh shit, I shouldn't see it.

Not an interview.

It was more so back in my YouTube day. I think everybody know, like you know, everybody knows.

You don't know.

I know, yeah, everybody know.

Everybody everybody knows.

But like it was one of those things where like I just was when you're doing YouTube and you so just personable. It's like you're talking to people like.

They're in the room with you.

Yeah, and also like just me, you were so young, yeah, like your.

Twenties early twenties.

Well I'm saying right now, oh yeah, oh yeah, you were really young.

Yeah, I'll be thirty soon. But yeah, I was really young. And sometimes we just say things, especially on cameras, like.

I don't know, and I always say crazy stuff. We we understand, but I always say this too, like being on YouTube or just being an entertainer, anybody in this industry, we are taking a risk and we're living our lives in front of the camera, and we're being vulnerable and honest. So if you can't accept like the bad parts because y'all get to grow up and become women or men behind the camera.

Aren't doing it in front of MILLI we got do it in front of everybody. Yeah, in front of everybody.

So the mistakes that you made, they're just not on you, yes, forever, because y'all.

Be saying some cristy and people like that.

We may have said whatever, a lot of people be thinking it and then it will literally drill you.

Oh yeah for sure.

It's like like she said, it's just the fact that we're growing up in front of people.

But when people was twenty six twenty.

Three, you had controversial opinions school, nobody just know you was having a conversations with your homegirl, lot with your homeboys. It wasn't on camera for people to still go back in reference like it is with us, because unfortunately, that's the thing about the Internet.

Even if you delete.

Stuff, yeah somebody gonna have it on they page.

I always think it's so silly though, when I see people like pulling up old tweets or something, because I'll say, my Twitter, Have y'all done that before?

The best?

Like I just wiped my Twitter anything, because I feel like I've been having my Twitter since like twenty eleven.

So when I was in college.

And I used to say some crazy stuff sometimes not nothing too crazy, but you know.

You're young, you me sweeting about celebrities and stuff. You did.

Yes, girl, I went through my Twitter and like any celebrity name I could think of, I searched it and deleted every tweet that I ever said.

The best thing that ever happened to me was my Twitter got deleted. It did like my part, and I was so upset because I had like a lot of a big following on there at the time, and I was so upset. But now, like where the show is and how it's gone, I'm like, that was the best thing.

Yeah that ever happened. It was so crazy because it got deleted because I said, O. J. Simpson got a long head, and he got and then now he not even alive. No, it wasn't. I was gonna say, like it was very.

Easy for us back in the day to say things about celebrities like now being known, like you know how it is, especially me, like being like known or being in the public eye. It's different, like we a lot of things that people say about celebrities like now, like they don't know what.

Goes on with those people's lives or whatever.

Now I'm being able to be like on the other side too, I see, and a bunch of people talk stuff about me too.

So it's like, man, y'all don't even know what I'm going through.

And so that was us back in the day, like talking about we don't know like how it is on the other side.

So on Twitter, I go ahead, go ahead, I was gonna say. And I feel like on Twitter they just used to be so mean to you all the time.

I used to because I feel like I don't.

See it as much anymore though, But it was like one point in time, I'm like, why are y'all.

Always missing blame queen?

How did that start? I don't know, you don't know. It's just like it's just something that happened one day. I don't know.

You know that we had too as well. They do that to James Charles on TikTok. They just start like random trends of like and it's low key bully. Yeah you know it is, but nope, nope, nope, I think you know. It's so crazy because in one breath, these same people want to talk about mental health and you know, looking out for people and being nice because you never know what somebody's going through, and then at the same

I feel like they did it a lot to me because I would show a lot of reaction and they like yeah when I like yeah, but when I got off of Twitter, like my app deleted right now, Like to be honest with you, once you stop showing that you're bothered, Like the joke.

Is it's not funny though, Yeah, it don't hit.

It's not funny at all, honestly. And Twitter is just such a mean app. We talk about that all the time. Girl, we can say the sky is blue and they're gonna be like you stupid ass bird.

Oh my god, I got them this bitch and say nothing. I've just seen this today.

Draa tweeted, she says one thing about a fly a cheese track.

Gonna have to see me, I said.

Somebody was like, Draa tweets like she just got new money Brocht.

Yeah, that that is really toxic. And I'm like, I know you don't.

Fly that much because to say something like that you sound crazy. You can literally buy a cheese tray in main cabin too.

I was freeze.

Because I was at first class, but you could buy a cheese trade Like, why would you?

Girl? Everything they do Twitter is just mean.

Twitter is a very very mean app out of all of them. I feel like it's the worst.

Oh for a fact, it's definitely. I'm not gonna lie Twitter.

At a point I had to really take a break from Twitter because and this is not now, but like Twitter one day had me in a chokehold and tears like for real, like.

That stuff will really mess with you. It will. We're not really supposed to see all those people's opinions like about it.

Yeah, we're not supposed to. It's not even like, that's not how it's supposed to be.

That was the beauty of being an influencer. Well, I guess they didn't technically have influences.

Martha Stewart, she was.

The first influencer. But yeah, being a celebrity. Back in the day, people had opinions, but you couldn't see them because it was no social media. And now we're seeing people talk about us in real time.

Yeah, real time. It's awful. They had a right little yeah, I mean, I.

Mean, the worst thing you would get is like Joan Rivers talking about you on New Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like, that's how you would get like people talking about you, but you never really got to hearsay of what Brenda, who lives down the street thought of you.

You know what I'm saying. So it's really toxic. Brenda.

I feel like the people that take the time out to write mean things like that, I feel.

Like they're truly happy.

I think because I think about myself, I am a like and I'm like gonna say I'm happy every day, but on the inside, like I'm just not a very miserable person.

I will never go.

And write even if I'm thinking something, I will never go and write something under somebody's stuff for them to see.

I son't keep scrawling. I don't want to really have to write.

But I feel like a lot of them do it too, for lest they want to feel validated by a bunch of people.

They were at a ready to laugh it there.

They want to go viral, and that's what fuels them, that's what makes them feel so important. So they have to say these mean things because, like I mean, they a lot of celebrities and known people know that we notice the negative.

Stuff a little bit more. So they have to put negative things like to really stand out.

Yeah, because they feel like we talked about this before. You somebody will say something negative to you and then you'll respond. They were like, oh, I didn't even think you was gonna see this what you're doing.

I'm swere that happens to me so much. That happened to me. I had responded one time to a girl her m and.

She was like, oh my god, let me just erase that. I'm sorry, Queenn, I love you, I just want you to make some music.

But she was talking so much stuff about you call me. All types of names.

I was like, that's obsessive blow key, that we're humans.

I watched this documentary a long time ago.

I can't think of the name of it. I'll put it in the description when I think of it. But it was talking about people who have had viral moment and celebrities and things like that. But they were saying, like, when you're a consumer of like content entertainment, you don't look at these people as people. You look at them as a theme. Just like you use your radio to sing along with music, they're using you as entertaining. We are here to make them laugh. We're not people. We

They're like, well, if you got a better life than me, then you got to take some sort of heat, you know, Like, but.

No, I don't. That's just rude. But why do y'all think we're like that? Though?

Because I think it is true to a certain extent. You'll respond to the like the negative thing. You gonna clap back. But then it'll be like a thousand comments like oh, you're so beautiful, You're so sweet, but then they be like your lace lifting.

Oh my gosh.

I have to really I have to still, like really work on it. That's a mindset. Like honestly, when I'm about to now, when I'm about to respond to someone.

I'll be like, is that very superstarve me?

No, it's not like is that where I'm trying to, like know, because then once you do that, it's like you're accessible, you know what I mean, And I'm trying to I don't want to be that accessible to where people's like, yep, she said she saw my comment.

If you write it, I don't want you to know.

If I ever saw it, you know, or they just know you're gonna respond because you do it all the time.

Honestly, I've been That's something I've done for a long time. I'm not gonna lie every now and then. I'll clap back. But I always make money me too, because I like, I mean, if you're gonna get a laugh, bitch, we all, I'm gonna show up as Addie Murphy and his motherfucker. But I will say I always respond to the positive comments.

Yeah that excuse me, And I'm like, I'm here to serve y'all.

The people that uplift me, make me feel good, consume my content, laugh and enjoy.

That's who I'm really.

You gotta show appreciation for that. I've been trying to work on responding to good comments.

I definitely respond to the good ones, but girl, I ain't there yet. God still working on me. I be responding, I'll be going off on people. I don't be going off. I feel like I make you, Like she said, I make funny, but I want to get to a point to where I just don't eat. I used to make it funny too, Like I used to like it would just be they were right, really long paragraphs. And if I say something just stupid and short, like that's just or I'll.

I'll point out something about like I remember this girl, I shouldn't even bring.

It up in her mind, don't give him no shot.

But see, like even what she said yesterday with the person saying something about the cheese training, I was like, well, girl, you don't know what it's like to have new or old money. Yeah, I know that's right clat back, but like you know, so they know you're not taking it too personal. Like girl, I'm laughing at I'm not really mad.

Like yeah, And I think that's what they be wanting you to feel, like they really like you really feel something, like you really really upset.

You know what I don't get when men say stuff about women, you know, whats yeah, like my thing too?

Is The thing that's scarier about that is like there's a man who's on the internet arguing on women under the shape room comments, talking shit, But there's somebody who is actively dating this man, laying in the bed with him every laying in the bed with him next to him, Like I'll be thinking in my head.

I'm not trying to be funny.

I know this sounds horrible, but when I see a man just talking about me or always in my comments, I'll be like, who is fucking yeah, like you in the trenches, baby girl.

I'm not even worried about him.

I'm worried about the lady who is laying next to you, if there even is one.

Yeah, because why you even got time to do that?

You know what I'm saying, As a man, why are you in the shape room comments talking about Oh, she looks so tacky and he's her stylists.

Win in business?

You know what I'm saying. Okay, so anyways, we don't move on. We're gonna play a little game.

Yeah, let's play the game. But what's the game? Your eyes like Icebreak the game? But I feel like we was just chatting it up. We don't even hear the Icebreak game. Okay.

So we're gonna throw in random words and phrases and we're gonna sing a quick lyric the book off the top, like a free style, you know what I'm saying. So we're gonna give everybody gonna get a word. So you want to go first, sure, okay, So I'm gonna give you a word and you have to come up with a quick bar.

No, okay, I don't want to.

You don't want to go first now because I can't you go first, because I can't think of one for these first words.

Okay, okay, okay, I'll go first.

So I'm gonna do a free style okay, and my original composition, original compas didn't know that's right?

I know this right? Okay. The word is blocked. The word is blocked.

That nigga blocked because he won't stop calling my phone.

And this is off the top the top. Do my dance.

Romance Okay, and I don't want to make no plans.

Pet your hands off of me. You can what. I'm not lie you if he blocked.

You know what I'm saying, because that's off top a fire.

You know what I'm saying that I gotta think. You gotta think about it. I won't be doing any freestyle. Okay, okay, who want to go next? Who going next? Let's do let's give it to queens. You can sing one.

Well, it's probably gonna have to be a freestyle because I can't think of no song that got this any he still live with his baby mama.

Wait what I thought it was a word? Though? Give give her ms. I can think of a song off the top of my head. I went through your D and pieces. Okay, that's it.

I like that too, because I did look through a nigga DM I was I got going down in the deal.

No, you ain't do a song that's already made. You can't know this is supposed to be. You can say a song that's already created. I got a freestyle. We gotta make it up. Say something.

You gotta be creative. D I'll give you another shot. That's right, because I love Thank you Tom. Okay, which word you're gonna do I guess you should just throw it at me. Okay, gas lighting because you're smart, not you would, Okay, Okay, okay, okay, Way, I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. Okay, gas lighting. You gonna sing or you're gonna rap? Okay, I guess rap because I'm on now, Big D. Don't play with a big D. Give it to him. That glow is he this? Yes, I'm sorry, Thank you girl.

It's from Fency Beauty. It's the pink high lighter. Yeah, he keeps gas lighting. In a minute, we're gonna be fighting. Yeah, he got me fucked up. I'm gonna shoot up his house, ride by his mama crib. Yeah, I'm gonna find out where you live.

I ain't really gonna shoot I like flags.

Let's get real, like look Queen one obviously though.

Broke my heart to period. Yeah, you should have thun No.

No, you're about to ask you can she come to the studio?

Give it to it? Yeah, you get a real comfortable.

It's never been an episode in the history of Four Minds where we've had an artist on the show and she didn't ask can she come to the studio.

Oh, I'm coming to this, give you a little harm and same stage.

I'm gonna give you a little vocal. It's gonna be free girl. I'm gonna show up on time, on time.

Get credited. Okay, I don't even need that. I just want to be in the video. Okay, you know what I'm saying. Just show up.

What's up, y'all is your girl X Speed and it's your girl Dre and the call and we're about.

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What's up y'all? As your Girl x pee and it's your Girl draining the call and we have a.

Very exciting announcement today. We have a brand new show dropping.

Yes, we have a brand new shower dropping y'all on Patreon. It's gonna air on September second, and it's called Poor Chronicles. We're gonna be doing so much stuff on there. We're gonna be doing challenges.

If you can't go to Bella Roche, where the hell could you go? If you can't go to Bellanche, what the hell we're gonna be doing? Talk to me, chit chat with me. We're gonna be spilling a little little tea. Oh my girl, No you didn't.

God everything y'all been wanting to see, we're gonna be doing it right here on Patreon.

Yes, y'all ask us for so much.

Well, we've been to give it to y'all every single Monday, and it's gonna be a time.

Y'all know. Poor Minds has grown into its.

Own little entity when we're gonna have a lot of fun still over.

Here at Poor Chronicles.

So make sure y'all tune in September second, it's going down.

Thanks.

So for topic number one, I wanted to talk about, do you heal in public or do you feel I mean?

Or do you heal in privy? Personally? I like to take my ills in privy. How y'all feel?

I think it depends to be honest, I think there's certain things that I've gone through that I feel like if I talk about it publicly and I let y'all in, I think I kind of oh, not that I owe that, but if you've seen me going through something, I'm like, all open about it, I'm talking about it. I think I can at least be human and let y'all know, Hey, this is what's going on. And that's with a breakup. Like even when my mom passed away, I let y'all know what I was going through. I was very about,

Every time we said it's not to do with the man, oh hello, every time we are in our films, they're like, oh, what he did? He must have made you mad.

I have other things going on in my life that stress me out that have nothing to do with the man.

Yeah.

So sometimes I think that is aggravating because I want to share what I'm going through, but it's like it makes me mad because I can just be like, oh my gosh, I'm so tired today with stressed But what do you do?

Girl?

It's not it's not always around men all the time. Issues outside of that, we have.

A lot always and I will say, I feel like you're a little more vulnerable, like looking at your social media and stuff, because even when your mom passed away, you basically said it immediately. Almost remember when my dad passed away, I didn't even talk about it on the show, I think for like maybe a month or two after it happy.

So I don't know.

It's just I think that when you're going through stuff, people on the internet could be so mean. So I just don't even want to give them that because it's like, I'm already grieving, I'm already going through a breakup, I'm already dealing with drama. I don't want to get online, and then I'm telling y'all about it, And of course you do get the outpouring of love from some people, but then you have the people that are negative. It means they don't give a fuck about what you're going through.

And then a lot of times people will come on there and pretend to hear about you, or they'll say, oh, I'm praying for you, and they're not really praying no, like for your Yeah.

So how did you feel because I know, like you said, like your relationship with your ex obviously it.

Was public, very very public. Yeah.

Oh, going through you know, y'all split, it was just like shocking for everybody cause y'all were like relationship goals.

At one point.

Yeah, everybody was looking at y'all like, oh my gosh, I want that.

I want that. So talk about like how cause you were so.

Young going through that, and you were a child, like it was stuff that you were going through at that age that I'm thirty five I can imagine going through at this age. Yeah, so how did you handle that? Like, how did you get through that?

How did I get through it? Because it was so public?

Honestly, man, Yeah, I didn't want a lot of things to be public, but when guys don't care, they'll do things publicly to embarrass you, and you have no choice but to like face it publicly.

How did I get through it?

I'm the kind of person where I usually don't like get I don't have to.

Well, I only have one bad breakup obviously. So if I'm I don't have to get.

Through it after the breakup, because I already got through it during the breakup.

I leave mentally before I actually leave.

So yeah, I'm the kind of person that some people, some women will like, you know, leave and then come back and leave and go. I'm the kind of person I'm just gonna stay until I don't like because once yeah, because once I leave, Like so I didn't really have to Yeah, I don't really, I didn't really have to heal that much. Like afterwards, I was doing all my healing while I was like going through it. No, I'm not going to see her, lie. I still I feel like because after that, you know, I ended up in

Yeah, you're constantly growing, You're constantly evolving, and especially if you're somebody who believes in going to therapy, I feel like going to therapy or.

Bring up all of those hills or bold stuff that.

You know was really trauma that you had, Right, it is, it's constantly a process.

And then it's like when you're trying to heal, because like you said, now, it's like you're probably still healing and still learning things about yourself. How does that feel too, because I think with it's like an average person healing with a normal like person with like a normal job. I guess say, we don't necessarily have to see our exes or hear what.

They think about us or they kind of poking at us.

Yeah, he be kind of messing with you a little bit. Yeah, yeah, he always like saying your name or saying he wants you back, or be like, oh, come home, and you know, doing kind of funny things like that. Whether it's genuine or not, it's more so for a reaction. So how is that because you know, you're actively trying to heal have a healthy co parenting relationship, but then also having to deal with the antics.

I'm not like, I don't know, I don't take him serious.

Yeah, I don't take him serious at all.

The only thing I worry about is my son, right, that's the only thing I will It don't really bother me, like.

Honestly, like you know, he on there because he gotta do that. Yeah, yeah, you know.

Yeah, it's like I don't know, it's just kind of you know how like well, I don't know if are you guys you're not parents.

Yet, no, no, but like as a mom, you get used to.

A baby crying and then it's just like you don't hear it. Sometimes you just blurt out that's the same thing. I'm just you know. But I'm not gonna say that I'm a I'm a very like silent sniper.

Yeah.

So I'm not gonna like, I'm never gonna tell my plans or anything, but I got something.

I'm not gonna lie.

Side note because I remember when that whole breakup, which y'all happened, because look, I being everybody busy, y'all know me.

I live chronically online.

But I remember seeing a picture of you and you were like on the top of the Capitol One Records building was right when you signed your DAL. It's something about a woman going through a breakup in rough times and just coming out on top.

Yes, And I just remember just clapping and being so happy for you.

A lot of breakups that break people and they don't get through it and they don't get on the other side. So I just remember seeing that like announcement that you made doing like a drone picture or something. It was like that you had announced and I was just like, oh my god, I'm so happy for her.

And that's another thing too, I was gonna say, because the question was what do you hear do you he'll privately publicly I haven't outlet and that's my music, so you're gonna hear it in my music. But sometimes you won't because like I'll just be writing relatable stuff, but like the music for me being able to make it into something so beautiful, and then I can watch people also like hell too, while they're going through their stuff.

It's like it's so beautiful.

Yeah.

Sometimes I'm sorry. This this piece ring is just she was over that talk about my mom and I'm.

Like, girl, we don't all the tie EXI what we drink because we ain't even asked.

This is in honor of our girl queen over here. This is called the good girl. All right, this we do have a mocktail for her as as mine. You can add any spirit of choice if you like. Some rum will go really really nice, or even some tequila for this. As we're approaching the summer. So this one has some passion fruit. We have some peach puree, a little bit of lime juice, and some pineapple and mango in it. And then we topped hers with a sparkling

Taste to it. And then what they're eating on are snacking on.

I garnished it with two pineapple fronds and then some candied peach ring So just kind of nostalgic throwing delicious.

Here's love, Thank you, thank you. This is delicious.

Yeah. So going back to what you were saying, what you were saying between you were answering, Yeah, I was like this mic mocked because grand was bringing out my mom and I'm like.

And I was finish, what's up? Y'all A your girl XP and it's your girls are in the call.

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What's up, y'all? Is your girl XP? And is sugarl draining a call? And the time is finally here y'all.

This Wednesday, April twenty third Trivel Queens is premiering on b E T her.

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Yes, we went to four different cities having a time of our lives.

So check it out. That's ready.

Yeah, I'm draining a call and I'm LEXP and together we are travel queens from Charleston to the streets of Cardina.

We're eating good, drinking good.

And experiencing the beauty of different cultures. Do it take me to incredible destinations with a special focus on the Black experience to queens, One glow, endless possibility Travel Queens Serious premiere Wednesday, April twenty thirty eight. Answering the question about healing probably and healing privately, and you're talking about how you give it through your music with some things you keep.

You yes, yes, relatable for people to heal. Yeah, your music. Yes.

I've had people and this is so crazy, like I can't believe it. Sometimes people will literally write me and be like, Queen, you literally your music, your music stopped me from committing suicide, or your music really got me through so many hard things like this breakup, and I was just I'm like, how did my music, how did my story get you through that? And that's why I also like, I'm gonna take to God. God be putting us through things some well.

To be a vessel, Yeah, to be a vessel.

Our struggle is not always just for us, but it's for other people to like to see that you can get through too, Yeah for sure.

So yeah, that just makes me ultimately happy.

I don't regret anything. I have no regrets about nothing.

Yeah, And you know that's why I was saying earlier like I struggle with sometimes wanting to be vulnerable and then not because people can be so mean on the Internet. But like even with us, I feel the same way. People write us all the time and they're just like, you know, Lick's mom passed away, my dad passed away. In the way that y'all kept recording poor minds every week, kept hussling, kept grinding, it just showed me nothing last forever. And y'all really motivated me to keep going on this

I'm sorry about that too, thank you.

And I think that's something that I can cause a lot of times, like people look at us and be like, oh my god, how can you do it without your parents? But at the same time, like I look at like you being a mother, a young.

Mother, and I'm just like, I, oh my god. Sorry.

The person who was facetiming her was just crazy. I can see that. I don't think, Okay, fully nice.

Okay, anyway, sorry, what was I saying, Oh, you mean a young mother?

Because like I said, I don't have children. Yeah, And I'm not gonna lie if I'm being honest, like I haven't had children yet.

Because I'm selfish and.

I'm not ready to okay period, Yeah, I'm just not ready to be a mother. I'm not ready to give up my time in the morning. Yeah, I'm not ready to give up a lot of words, my money. I'm not ready to give up a lot of my time. I'm just I want. I'm experiencing life right now still. So when I see people you know who have you know, gotten married or having kids and you're going through all of this and you're still being a mother, I commend you for that, and I'm like, I couldn't.

I couldn't.

Guess what though, I'm doing it backwards because I started young having kids and now I literally have to go back to finding myself, like while still trying to navigate being the best mom I could be and like maybe becoming a wife someday, you know what I'm saying. So like still trying to really find myself and like grow and see what I like, I'm doing everything backwards. Yeah, So now I'm like, man, do I want more kids?

I would, I came to terms that like, thank you.

I came to terms of like I think I would be okay if I didn't have any more kids, if if my husband ever was like, you know, I want another child, then okay bye, right, you know I'll get but I want that to be like in my mid thirties.

Okay, Yeah, I need a little bit of myself.

Yeah, I gotta. Yeah, I got to establish myself more. I gotta put this album out. I gotta do some acting.

I gotta. I got it planned. Yeah.

So how do you feel too, like, cause I know you see the comments that people have about your relationship now and they're like, okay, y'all should be married by now, and people trying to put you on a timeline. Yeah, they don't realize like you said, you're not even thirty yet. Yeah, people are putting you on what they think and they're timeline is and like you said, y'all don't know these people's relationship.

Y'all don't know what's going on. So how does that get to you A little bit? No, not anymore.

So I will take accountability and say the reason why they even say that is because of me in the past, when I was so like and not to say, I'm not in love now, but when you're first in that relationship, you're so head over heels in the first few years. It's like I don't know. Like I put a lot of things about marriage in my songs. I talked a lot about marriage and interviews, so people just like she wants.

Marriage, give it to her, you don't. But I had to.

Sit back and think, like, hold on, wait a minute, I still need some time for myself, because once you become a wife, that's a whole nothing like you're that's a duty, like just like as a mom, that's a duty. I had to step back and just I just realized this maybe a couple of years ago, like I can't wait.

I actually can wait.

Actually, like no, seriously, because it's not like a rush thing. So I think people are taking a lot of old clips and things that I've said.

I put my own foot in my mouth.

I'm the reason why they do that. You know what I'm saying, But they don't know, like I said, the growth that has happened like in my in my mind and like you know, just really doing therapy and like being asked those questions like well are you ready to be a what is he ready to be a husband, That's what is he ready to be? Like, do I want to get married to somebody right now who's not ready to be a husand and I'm not saying it's not, but we are honestly still working on ourselves.

Y'all need to be.

Yeah, like you want to get married, but I feel like when it comes to me in you want a man to propose, when he's real, he's.

Ready, you don't want it. Yeah, I don't feel like, oh she might leave me. I don't do it.

It needs to be when he's ready, because that's when you're gonna get the best version of him.

Yes, and I and like who wants to get married? And then it's just like dang.

But people, I got the right, I got the ring, but now it's like, no, no, I'd rather I think Yeah, I think I'm okay.

Yeah, like honestly, when the time is right.

Yeah, And like just even talking to you, obviously this is the first time we met, but just like the way you carry yourself.

I can tell I.

Can read people, but you're so like I can tell like the growth and just cause like I said, I used to follow you on YouTube and seeing like take your time because them people, they don't even have what they want. Yeah, that's so the feeding and just I don't get I don't mean to get church.

Y'all know I'm in my church and she don't have a shot. Yeah, I have my shot.

So I'm gonna tell y'all. So Sunday when I was at church, my pastor shout out to Pastor Mo. He was talking about his marriage and he was talking about his wife, and he was talking about I know y'all hate this word, but how his wife. You know, she follows the Bible obviously, and she submits the word. But she submit to God, which you know, she submitted to her husband to trust him and to be able to, you know, take that back seat and trust him and

It does.

That takes a lot of trust in your partner. You have to be able to go to sleep when let somebody drive you and know they're not going to crash that carn you know what I'm saying now.

And he has to be led by God, has to be led by God.

You can't you that's another thing, like a lot of people be like, you know, well submit and things like that. The leader of the house is supposed to be led by God. That's how it's God the husband and ye that's a proper So if you know. And I'm on my journey too, I'm on my path with God too, just trying to really get close, trying to unlearn a lot of religiosity. I grew up very religious, and now with me it is more so about the relationship with God.

Yeah, so he knows.

Yeah, And that's why I said, I think you have to figure things out on your timeline. And at the end of day, we only have one person that we have to answer to when that's.

Him, So I, like I said, and that's no race. When it is the life.

It's like everything is gonna happen when it's supposed to happen, when it's supposed to the way it's supposed to, not a minute earlier.

Than God's plan. He's gonna happen.

If you're supposed to get married, especially even to a specific person, it's gonna happen.

Yeah, And you don't always know.

I guess, like when I would talk about my relationships and how happy I was, and I'd be like, Ooh, I don't want to talk about the breakup, but yeah, it happens, y'all. Like nobody's life is perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect love story.

You know what I'm saying.

And one thing I can appreciate about me is I'm gonna keep it real with y'all.

I don't give a damn.

Y'all not feinna embarrass me because you know why I am where I want to be right now in this moment.

I'm here because God allowed me to.

I'm able to share my story and I'm able to express myself. I'm able to have an outlet to I always say this, lex P went through that, so you ain't got to go through that. I let y'all know my mistakes. I'm growing and I'm figuring it out with y'all. You know what I'm saying. So I feel like if we were more, if we gave each other more grace man, That'll never happen, you know what I'm saying, Like you people, grace man, they act like they ain't be'll act like y'all ain't never been this stuff.

That they be pointing people out.

They go through a like you said, behind closes door, taking a man back and everything for doing a bunch of stuff. And then you'll be called dumb for doing it. Okay in public, but come on, man, they so street.

It's it is.

Look, I know we was preaching my baby, I'm the exit the church room. All right, Okay, So we're gonna get into the second topic. You know, were getting chatty girl.

I look, this is the girl just flow flowing, you know, bowing.

That's why I love the girl gets I'll just be feeling so relaxed with the men.

I'd be like what you finished say, preparing myself to find you. I just seen y'all last one. But Julian, yeah beautiful y'all y'all.

Yeah, Okay, so topic too.

Can you be soft and still be taken seriously? Now?

I can definitely relate to this topic because I always say this.

I am a bitch, but.

I have the nerve to be sensitive, and you know, a lot of times I'm very very soft.

I have a soft heart.

I'm like, oh, I don't want to let this person, I don't want to do this, and I'm but I'm like, at the same time, I have to run a business. I got to be a boss. You know, you have to be a mother. You know, you have to run your business. You have to run you know, your household

A lot of.

Trial and error, you know, I'm actually just now stepping into more of the boss era. And I've always been a very like humble person. So I used to think, like I don't want to say boss because I want to feel like I'm being too uppity or whatever. But I had, like it's very heartbreaking sometimes when you got to like take the lead in certain things.

It's a learning journey.

I'm not gonna say I'm all the way there yet. Yeah, Like I'm just I think it comes with just really saying how you feel.

Without holding back. Yes, without holding back.

That was my problem, like holding ba because I don't want hurt people's feelings. And like you said, in the business, you can't worry about feelings, like you can't take things personal.

So I'm still actively learning, Okay, Like.

You know, I can't just I can't just not do something because I feel like I'm talking in circles.

Was like, I just can'tnot do something because don't want to hurt someone's feelings, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to learn it's not personal, it's business. I think with me, I say this, I've said this in the past. I take the Nicki Minaj approach to business.

I do.

I seen a documentary on Nicki Minaj, probably when I was in college.

I think I can't remember.

It was like a true life something she was doing and she was recording the album. I remember she was sitting in the studio and I still say this. Drag can attest this. I say this all the time. She said, when I walk into a meeting and I say I want it this way. Oh she's a bitch, she's rude, she's this, she's that. But if a man walks in, he says the same thing. Oh, oh he's assertive, he's a boss, he's then she's so she's like, I don't

You gotta have to do that as a woman sometimes, Oh absolutely, yeah, because like you said, they will, they won't want to take you as serious over.

Yeah, I would rather be known as a bitch and I got my money straight then somebody's soft.

Who I'm just as I can't pay my rent.

Yeah, yeah, I agree for me, I think it's about that balance of being soft.

But then I don't know.

I always kind of feel like you gotta let people know they can't play with you. But then also on the other end of that, it's like, but the right people that are supposed to be in your life not gonna play with you. They're not gonna put you in a position to have to be guarded. I feel like, so sometimes I feel like if you have that disposition with people, it's probably because they not the right person.

Yeah, so like courtesy of not. That's why I feel like team building is like so important. Likes having those genuine people around you, and like when people are genuine too, they hoag, Yeah, they won't take advantage of you. But you know, sometimes people do get comfortable and you have to like just tell them.

And then I think in the position that you're in and then even the position that we're getting into, you hear so many horror stories about people before us who people did take it then, like people that they trusted accountants and manage men and people that worked with them. And so you kind of have to be assertive and let people know that they can't play with you because who want that to happen because you're being too trusting, right, and you put it past them because you can't be

And I think sometimes like as women, especially like if we go in the meeting and we're just you know, being straightforward in this, some people are like, oh, well, she's emotional, you know.

On her period.

And I may be because I'll be in a meeting and I'll be like this and this and this, then I'll called you up like sh fissed me off, Like why would they taught to us like that? It's okay, like but still, but it's a meeting. I'm like, you know, but at the same time, like I said, I feel like a lot of times people just try to take advantage of especially women.

This is how far they can go.

Yes, they see out because they feel like, oh, well, she gonna be soft and she gonna be cool. It's so hey, I can I can say this to them.

I can.

So I do feel like as women, we don't get the luxury of being soft in the business.

I want to question though, so.

Like what is it that people be trying?

Well, no, I'll.

Say it like I think it's like a lot of times people will they want to low ball you on pay.

You know what I'm saying.

They want they think that they can just show up whenever, you know what I'm saying, Like, they'll just not have respect for your time, respect for anything. And I just, like I said, I see this because it's a certain way that they will treat you know, our counterparts, that things that we have to go through that you know, they necessarily don't have to go through, right, I'm saying, Like I said, the big thing.

For me just be like payments.

Like, of course I don't expect to be getting paid the same amount as Carlos, But y'all ain't gonna pay me three.

Dollars to show up somewhere even Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

There longer hours I gotta resumeate to. Yeah, that's the thing I just won't.

Yeah, Like, yeah, actually I'm good. Yeah yeah, And I think they as to be. It's so grateful.

Like, no, I'm not grateful. I want to get paid, you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't want to have to like come in these meetings and y'all just expect me to just be happy to be here because y'all feel like, oh, she's just a podcaster that's on YouTube.

No, I worked really fucking hard, you know what I'm saying.

And like I said, I think they expect that for all women. You should just be grateful because women, you know, y'all don't get to y'all used to not be able to be in these spaces, especially as a black woman.

You should be grateful. No, we deserve to be here.

Yeah, like it's not like I should be oh my god, thank you, like, yes, thank you, But I earned my right to.

Be loved, That's what I was gonna say. Especially, I think when you kind of grow up in front of people, they'll still look at you like.

That version of you from five years ago.

They'll try to treat you like that version, like, oh, remember back when you didn't really have that much money or you was just excited for the opportunity.

Okay, well now though, let's talk about it today.

Let's right, you need to pay me what I've worked hard to get to. I've worked hard to get to this point. I'm not the person that because we started our show Girl. I don't know if you know about how we started, but we started the show recording in my apartment. I remember, yes, on my floor, like with just a camera and some little bullshit mics, and we were recording in my apartment. And obviously now we have

It needs to pay me what I'm word.

So I'm sure you could probably relate to that too with being on YouTube when you were younger, Definitely.

Do you feel like people kind of still try to treat you like your road to success was different because you started on YouTube.

Anyone, Oh, I hate to say this, anyone below me, okay, but for some reason I hate to say it like that. But the people that are just not in my shoes or like they look at me like that. But I have been acknowledged by the greats, right, yeah, I have been in Like I've had conversation with greats and people that have started from abada and made it here and they speak into me and they believe in me, you know.

So honestly, I don't anyone.

Yeah, anyone who says, oh, well she's just a YouTuber, No one has ever done that to me that like that hasn't been in the comments. Yeah, yeah, I hope they don't take that wrong. But no, all right, yeah, like, yeah, it's the true.

I think sometimes people don't like to hear stuff because they don't necessarily maybe like the messenger.

But the facts are the fact. Yeah, I mean, it's the fact you want to hear it.

Maybe you just don't like me or how you feel about me, But people will they love to try to humble people.

Queen is so sweet. We be over here like fuck y'all.

Yeah, because I've always been that way, you know.

I try to be a little more considerate a little bit sometimes sometimes.

I think you were when we were younger.

I think as you grow into womanhood and you get older, I think you just don't really grow into She used to care more what people would think, and I think she's maturing.

She.

I think that's what's gonna happen with me, even as I'm like approaching my thirties. Like I just I don't know where the switch came, but like something's changed.

Oh when you hit thirty, girl, it's it's like, I don't know, it's just something that hits you for sure, and you're just like a lot of shit I used to care about.

I just don't care no more. I feel myself slowly stopped, like.

You will, because then you get to a point to where I'm not saying because you are a confident, beautiful woman, but you get to a point to where you realize, you know what, this is who I am. Yeah, this is who I am. I can't change this. I can't change this. This is who God made me to me, and you're either gonna accept it or you're not gonna like it. So let me focus on the people who accept it and love it.

Right, You'll learn to cater.

To those people and love those people, and you know, feed into those people, because that's what I started doing. I'm just like, I've become happier. It was a point where we were doing poor minds where I was just like unhappy because I felt like every.

Week I'm showing up and I don't know what to do to make y'all like me.

People are being mean because they're so mean, but you got to cater to them people that love you.

Yeah, And I think that's why I've always had that mindset, because I've always been a little bit more of like, I don't give a fuck fuck y'all. But but the reason that I feel that way is because the people that I'm saying fuck y'all to, it's not the people who support me.

I love y'all. I appreciate y'all.

If you take offense to me saying that you one of the people that be hating, you're one of the people that's being rude, and it is fuck you because you're not the person that's helping me anyway. You didn't help me get to where I am. You know, you don't support us. You don't come to our shows, to our live shows and stuff.

So you're not buying mar And that's okay.

I be hard with those people, but I be soft with our support, yeah for sure, like they did. Like you set people DM you and stuff like people who've lost a parent or they're grieving or something.

You get dms like that all the time. So I don't mind.

Being vulnerable and being open. I'm talking to y'all. I'm for y'all like me.

Yeah, So I.

Think like you can still be soft and taken seriously because I think there's beauty and being vulnerable. Yeah, because it shows like I'm still human. Yes, I'm still going through the things.

That you're going through. You know what I'm saying.

Like, just like I used to be living on the East Side, crying in that apartment, bitch, I'm in my high ride still crying.

It's life. It real. Yeah, you have to you have to keep it real.

But I think there's beauty in keeping it real and being soft.

But there's also you know you.

Like you said, you have to have that balance because you gotta be hard sometimes, especially as a woman like you know, being in this industry, because you don't want to be looked at as being like passive and oh queen, not gonna care because you're really not finna make a decision on my behalf.

See I pick and choose with I'm more serious and stern about certain things, and I'm like then other things, like when it comes to my when it comes to my music, I am so like I don't play, like I really don't play. When it comes to like production credits, all of that stuff, I don't.

I don't.

But it's really the things that I truly care about, like yeah, or like my kids.

So let me ask you this because I saw a few clips of you on d D streams d G D What did I say?

Twitch d D? What's this? D d G D d G You were on his string?

It's whooping your head. J That's why I've been waiting on my second one, because I know I haven't been drinking like that.

I would be to absolutely, So I saw a few of the clips.

I didn't get to watch the whole stream, but they were kind of saying, like, you know, old Queen, was being quiet. She was kind of bothered. She didn't like the atmosphere. What really went on is that just people assuming, No.

That was people assuming taking small clips. I was I was fine. I was fine.

I came there to work. The thing was like DG was like, pull up, we're gonna make a song together.

And I don't usually go on like people's streams or anything like that.

I'm used to coming on like podcasts whatever, but not streams where like it's a bunch of different people like pulling up. I was just there to work, and like I was just vibing out like I don't know if I look serious because I was focused on like the music, Like I wasn't there to be drinking and partying and having like you know, and that's what I was there for.

So you weren't upseturday. No, I wasn't up.

I wasn't upset, Like, I wasn't upset. But it was like people like read my face is wrong. They read me wrong, alive, I'm very misunderstood.

I was just focused, Okay.

I was just focused and I didn't have an issue with a bunch of people being in the room. I just, of course I do get a little bit more reserved because when it's people that I don't know, I'm just more reserved.

But like when I know you, it's not like that. I'm actually probably gonna start my own twitch. Okay, I think that'd be a good idea. Yes, which is the way right now.

But I think your personality is so good and I think people kind of like miss seeing that from you. Like I'm being on the music, but we love your personality.

Yeah, I'll probably be able to do that more on my on my twitch. Going into someone else's territory is different, Like I could be in my room doing real crazy stuff alone or with my friends, like to do it there, like.

It's a little you know people if you do something crazy.

Yeah, yeah, And I'm a little bit like different around like artists, especially when it's a bunch.

Of men in the room.

Yes, I'm not about to be because out here like moving my body, you know what, would have got up and hit a little twark oh queen doing yeah yeah yeah, trying to be noticed, yeah.

Trying to be outside. No, so I get it.

And then my man was with me too there because yeah, him and DG we're all mutual friends. Yeah, they're friends. I'm friends and then yeah, so I was actually glad because I didn't want to be in there with that many.

I mean yeah, because I feel the same way. It sometimes like our management that'll they'll come with us and not be so happy that they're there, because like.

It's it's nice to have men.

Rust that, you know, if anybody try to get a little you have protections. Yeah, because one thing about me, I will talk some ship, but as soon as somebody fuck with me, I'll be like, I'm finna take share to run. Yeah, I'm like, hold on, let me take share to run.

Ryan and Chad in the chat, the email whatever. Yeah, So I'm glad. I'm glad that you had them there too.

Like like I said, I know, situations like that can get rowdy and get crazy. Because I didn't get that vibe. I'm like, I think she's just working.

It was I was just working.

Yeah, man, I hate that. I gotta loosen up a little bit. But I think it's like I said, it's just gross.

Like I'm not people expect me to be that like turn it out. Really, I don't know. I was. I'm still goofy, but I'm not like doy I used I used to be.

Super reckless, but older it comes, I can't help it. Like I just I'm just a little bit more converted.

And I think that's what she was saying too, like people expect you to be the old you and I'm not.

Line like I'm miss the old you, Queen. Why did you know I'm I'm grown.

Yeah, but just I know the spaces and places that I can yeah, and I'm.

Not like that twenty four seven. I have my moments where I'm just chilled.

I feel you got to pay attention to yuas around.

It's like even with having Craig in the room, him over there, he be places with us sometimes and I'll just give him a little because then we because people, you just never know what people's intentions are.

So you just gotta always be on guard, you know what I mean. I think I was on guard. You have to.

You just always got to give people their eye, Like Craig, you watching them.

See what's going on? Right, all right?

They kep saying I was clutching my purse, putting it to my side.

It's the story behind that.

So the reason why I had to make sure that because I lose a lot of things, I have.

Lost my purse.

I have left things behind and like I was just trying to be conscious, like Queen, don't leave your stuff, and I have left my purse in an airport bathroom. Oh Saint Martine like crying run around the airports. So it was just really me like, okay, just make sure you know where your stuff is.

I wasn't. It wasn't think. I think abodes that is. It means so many people in and out of it.

You never know if somebody would say, yes, I was grabbing my parts batch I don't know these people.

Yeah, I'm keeping my sheet close to me.

And the thing is, like I said, I think his streams are entertaining, Like I love his streams, but he do have a lot of people in and out and you don't know who they are. It'd be like a lot of you know, young girls, young women, people you and people do things for cloud. So how good would it be somebody who trying to start up a stream.

They'd be like, ooh, I got I mean queen purse. They could just take it and go to the bathroom and do something with. Yeah, I don't trust people, you know what I'm saying. So you you was doing right No, you don't need a reason why you.

Was clutching your You could clutch what you feel like you this is my purse.

Okay, I mean that a game named herself meanly and you ain't from China. I don't know if I can trust you people, because y'all put pregnancy on me all I and all it was was I ate a can of beans and had a few shots at tequila.

Bitch.

I had just got back from a little happy hour at Papacitos, and y'all was like, you.

Pregnant, lect pregnant. Congratulations, she's pregnant. Oh she fringant and baby I had just ate.

So the only reason I'm being very Oh, he don't play about me. This nigga is swinging on the swing set right now, swinging on the Merry Go Round.

Baby.

Oh, he playing all day on that PS five Mario Kart. Okay, that's crazy. That's like you having a sexual assault case and R. Kelly being like, oh, yeah, bro, I support you. Hey, I'm good. I'm good, bro. I don't need none of that support. I don't want none of your prayers.

Somebody sent me some on my phone and said that a hall tieder I don't know the people WHOA what an altar?

Probably one day I will get married and my dad is not gonna be here to walk me down the aisle things that I just always thought that he would be here for and you know, be able to experience with me.

And I just know he would be so proud.

Of everything that I'm doing, the woman that I'm becoming, how far I've come, especially with my attitude child because whoa, I was something else when I was growing up.

But like I said, it's just a bittersweet thing.

Okay, So now it's time to get into dubby ball Dubby bow dubby about bout about bow bow?

Go ahead, little droll.

Okay, So for the bad topic, we're gonna talk about what's one thing that y'all wish men to understood about women's bodies.

Or multiple things, not just one thing that I wish that they really understood.

Is this might be a little too vulgar or but I'm gonna say this a lot men, y'all can throw a woman's pH off.

Oh my god.

Bro Okay, Yeah, sometimes if you ain't in bad with y'all, lady and you and something that's smelling like a fish fry on a Friday night.

You thinking it as hot, but you probably throw her pH all you know real quick.

I hate when people say a fish fry, fish fries smell.

Good, a fish fry delicious. It's the raw fish that's the problem. It's for you to say that, Okay, but I'm gonna says a fish it is, But that's not how you want y'all vagina to smell. I mean fake.

But you know what I'm saying.

Frit smell edible is what I'm saying. Fry. They should say something this is rawthy. Yeah.

So I feel like a lot of times men should know, Like if you were in a relationship with long term relationship and something is going on with your lady down.

There, you could be the problem. You are not doing something down there.

You might be cheating, you're not washing your balls good enough after you go to play one on one basketball at the rec center or whatever you're doing.

Something is not Something is off about you.

That's and honestly, just like when a guy this might be a lot too, but when a guy releases into a woman regards if you're trying to have kids or not, that alone is very acidic. Yes, grows ours off, you know what I'm saying. So because they just want to do that and it's like, well, no, you're gonna.

Wake up if we not creating, don't play.

Yeah, that that definitely throws a lot a lot of things off. I think another thing is stop trying to have one move sexually for all women. Just because this woman likes you to do that doesn't mean the next woman that you're with is gonna like that. I think we have to take time and learn each other's bodies more. And that's for women too. With men, y'all be trying to be one trick ponies. So this she liked that, I'm finna turn this. I'm gonna turn her out, and

Run out of the Street was getting that deck talking ship.

But just because it worked on Brenda don't mean it's gonna work on you, right, So I think that men need to learn that every woman's body is different and take your time and ask questions. There's nothing wrong with asking questions, learning what she's like, and just taking your time, you know what I'm saying.

That's what I was gonna say, literally, like men need to ask questions. Just because she might seem like she enjoying it and she moaning and whatever, you need to actually ask her, like are you enjoying this?

Does this feel good to you?

I feel like men don't ask because a lot of the time they don't care as long as they ging theirs.

I don't have that problem though, See all right, it's a little different for me, Like I don't because I've been in a relationship for a lot of time, so you know each other, he know my buddy.

There's nothing. Yeah, there's nothing going on like bed.

Yeah. I think what I would like for men to understand in general is that, oh my god, is that sex starts outside the bedroom?

Yeah, she says.

It's not just like it's not just like a switch. It's like, okay, yeah, you horny, let's do it. No, like it starts with the in the morning, when you're helping me with the kids. It starts in the morning, like when you're helping me throughout the day or when you just come in and giving me little.

Kisses on the cheek or whatever you like. That's where it starts.

It's just don't like, oh yeah, I did this all right, come on, let's just have sex like wo like if I'm not being romance, if I'm not. And then men also don't understand like a little something could just go a very long way when you treat a woman right or.

Like it really don't take much for us, just so excited about it.

Yeah, And they think that they always.

Have to do something extravagant, and it's like, no, it doesn't always have to be something extravagant.

We like thoughtful needs. Yes, we like for you to be thoughtful.

So it could be something as little as you going to publics and picking up from ten dollars row.

You'd be like, you know what, yeah, Higgins, some tonight is thoughtful. It just goes a long way.

So I think they need to realize that women a lot of our sexual stimulation comes from a mental clog and emotional connection.

And there's don't and there's don't. It's just straight like yeah, another good point.

I think men need to understand there's a lot of times when y'all be having sex with women, y'all be thinking, oh, I'm just gonna fucking go about my way, and you keep having sex with the same person over and over again, and it may be just a nut to you.

Women are not wired that way. I don't care.

I don't speak for all women because some women can't have sex a lot and with the same person and not developed feelings. But as a man and a woman having sex a lot, I don't care if something is gonna start happening feeling wise. So men, y'all need to understand you cannot have sex with the same woman over and over and over and over again and not expect her to have.

Something or have some type of expectation.

I'm telling you, if you have sex with a woman four times, you ain't never took her on a day. I bet you after that four tops gonna be like, well, why don't we do something? Yeah like this, why don't we go somewhere booty call? So if you just want a booty call, you don't need to have sex with the same woman over and over and over again. And that's just you're just trying to get happy. You need

I feel like men too need to realize, like the roster thing, I get it, but when you laying with these different people, you're also picking up their spirits, will so.

You're not Yeah, so I wish that men would think like that sometimes, but a lot of men are not, like you know, in tune like that.

But like when you land with all these different women, even uh women too, Like when you lay with these different men, you are picking up their spirits and their demons are the things, and then you wonder why, like it's something going on with you. You gotta really be careful with that because you you know, you become one like that you do.

That's a very good point. It's a very good point. I got another one I forgot you read it on there. I forgot. We're gonna get a little vulgar again.

Men, stop forgetting about the clique that is where the stimulation comes from.

First of all, if you call it a click like you don't know, I know you don't know nothing right there, because why are you calling it a click click. Girls be calling it there too, and that's the topic for a whole nother time.

I mean, because my friend calls it a click, but she does it to be funny.

That's a different though. Yeah, but some people really think it's called a clique because they don't know.

I don't click and bop it twisted touch it yet. I don't give a damn stop passing it up.

It's right there. It's a button process. It really is a y'all touch it. That's crazy. A lot of men don't know that. That's really.

Stimulation is how most women have an orgasm. Penetration. Now, you can't have an organs women. Yeah, very it's a small percent. Those are the blessed, blessed, blessed women that can have an orgasm just off of penetration. But most women have an orgasm from stimulation me.

Right, or not just penetration alone.

Yeah, you gotta rub on a caress so on. Like she said, it starts in the morning, the four play before.

That's another thing too.

A lot of men, just like you say, they have a mind of its own, so they just want to get straight to it, Like, no, we're not wired like that.

You gotta rep us up. It is, it is. I hate it, and especially when you're getting your thirty sinuse. That's another thing.

Girl, When you turn thirty, you just ain't gonna have time for none of this sheet no more.

I'm not gonna waste my time. And I'm gonna let you know.

I'm just saying you're not gonna have You're gonna be way more vocal and ready for like if a man, you're not gonna let people waste tho time. I mean, obviously you're in a relationship, but I feel like you're gonna be even more vocal about what you want and what you like when you turn thirty.

So it's like, yeah, a nigga, No, you need to do this. You need to do this, and you need to do it like this, and you need to do it right now. Or we just ain't even about to I agree, I agree anything else y'all want to add, or we move on.

We look, first of all, we just put y'all on game fellas, So I hope y'all took some good No, you know what I'm saying, all.

Of them, all of them.

I'm like, this is your camera, my camera, this is haen camera. Three is hers in a wide shot and yours Oh nice.

Okay, yeah, so if.

You want to emphasize something or something, so you got to say it to three, okay, and.

We just I just always be looking at these doing the wide shot. I always get my camera because I'll be like you do, I love to make a face. I never look at my camera. I always look at my camera always.

Okay, Now, this is such an awkward space, like y'all over here, I'm like, why would I look right here?

Well?

I think I think it's sometimes when somebody is a guess and they sitting right here and that's czy, so crazy.

I'll be like, dude, you do they think we on an episode of the Office. That's how you know? I watched The Office super I love the I love when they'd be doing a camera. Yeah that's what you think.

I'll be like, Okay, all right, hope y'all a Shugarl xp and is Sugarl draining a call?

Y'all know we have a segment on Poor Minds called Item of the Week. But do you have a product or something that you want to promote and you want it featured on Poor Minds?

Your opportunity is here period.

If you have an item or you have a business and you want to get it promoted, we are now having slots available on the Poor Minds episode. So if you would like to get your product featured for Item of the Week, all you need to do is send an email to Item of the Week PM at gmail dot com. That's I T E M O F T H E W E E K P M at gmail dot com. Send us an email and we'll work it out. We're gonna figure it out. Get your product, get your business sponsored, and yeah, make you some money.

We love to moret a small business man and a black business said that, but I mean.

Any scrimmaad any businesses welcome.

It's get into the bout. So you gonna love this segment. It's the Bop of the week.

So it's so we're gonna give like whatever music that we've been jamming, but we are also gonna talk about your album, you know what I'm saying.

So first I want to give my bop of the week. My Bop of the week.

Y'all know, it's summertime, it's springtime. It's time to get in the clubs and to be one and have fun and just you know, have that feel good music again. So my bop of the week is by afrobeats artist Rama. He has a new song called about You, and it's just a really cute song. It's just about a girl that is something about her and I just.

I love love music.

I think we need to bring back when men are talking about being in love and oh girl, you special, like, let's bring that back. Let's bring back the good vibes. They were talking about T. Grizzly the other day and how he be rapping about.

His wife and that like to be married. Yes, that like to be when can they fine? Let me tell you something.

The smartest man on this earth know the value of having one woman that's valuable.

They know it.

The smart, very smart, very smart man, very very I'm telling you every successful man, I promise you either has a woman running his whole team or he's married.

They do say that for men, like in business being married really like elev Steve Harvey talks about that all time.

And then of course you have anomalies like some men ended up being very very successful without getting married. With most successful men they have again, I tell.

You the men that aren't married, I guarantee you, there's a woman behind him who runs everything, his assistant, whether it's his executive assistant whatever, I'm telling you, it's a woman very close by handling everything. I promise you every time. So even if he's not married, ask him who his right hand is?

Brenda? Brenda? Can you bring up Brenda as time? Baby? Right? All right? All right? What you been jamming this week?

Man?

Okay?

So, I can't remember if Julian brought this up on an episode to Night, because I know we was talking about leon Thommys. But I've been like having in rotation yesterday.

Is that's my song? Okay?

Yeah, he didn't talk about that. He was talking about remix, but I feel like he had brought up another song from the album. And I can't remember if that was the song or night.

But I love that song. I don't like I like it a lot.

His voice is very soothing. It is a soothing tone, and I love that song. It's like I feel like it's bringing back real.

R and B Yes, telling you I always I told you R and b Ain't. It's giving them it's given nostalgic ninety. It was a little scoop. We might have a little insight. Okay, okay, so talk about way, like what's you back? What you what collaborations you could tell us you.

Guys, So okay, I can't tell every collaboration because you know, I want my fans to be like surprised.

But there she goes she started about to get straight. You heard it somebody somebody you know in the background. I'd be trying to whip that.

But I do know that people seen a picture of me and Marita scientists together. Yeah, but what you guys can expect from this new album, I'm so excited. A lot of my stuff was like super traditional R and B.

And I know a lot of people it's like bring R and B back, Da Da Da.

But honestly, I feel like I've made my mark with R and B, and I really wanted to be a little bit more universal, So I got some more upbeat things on air and things that could sound like you can go overseas.

Okay, like we're trying to go bigger.

I'm never going to turn my back on the people who love R and B. But like I really want like it's definitely growth. You're gonna be able to hear the growth in the production and just me experimenting with different sound and tempos I've always wanted to do.

I'm not a dancer. I suck, actually, but I.

Want to make a dance, so I want to make like a and then it's always relatable, ess always relatable.

But yeah, I think you guys are really, really really gonna like it. I think I love it. I was just bopp into it and yeah, I'm very proud.

So you don't have to give us the TT But if you don't, do you have somebody that's like a legend on the album? And if you don't, is there a legend that you would like to have on the album, like a legendary singer?

Okay, Okay, So this is what I'm gonna say.

When I think about legend, I think of the greats. I think of the people that's been here for a while. Upcoming legends, yes, you know, because we.

Still got a lot of work to do.

But I've already worked with the Legend before a Babyface his last album I did on my latest EP, well two years ago. I worked with Monica the Legend. But I would say they're like, we're like upcoming, We're still because we still got a lot to.

Right baby Face is alick though that That's what I'm saying, Like you were, because that was the album that he did with that was a good album. Going on Mary J Blige tour was like for her to share the stage.

That's why when you said, like, do people still disrespect you and say you're just a YouTube?

I don't even care because Mary J. Yeah like that, Because then you I want to say, did you get a Soul Trainer? Warry reformed at the Trainer? I think I did a No that was the other one. I did an s w B tribute. Oh no, I probably presented at the Soul Training Wars. I did perform. Yes, you perform. I know you did.

I know I was just trying to I'd be so booked and I know, but I'm know I've just been I've been very low in my age.

So I get it's like you don't get to just do.

The Soul Train of War like that is a legendary show that our parents grew up with. Yes, like the Training Wars is not like and you gotta if you're doing a Soul Training Awards, you can't sing, you gotta sign.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So I think that whole narrative.

If people do still say that, they definitely definitely gotta let that go because like it's fine.

It's I've learned that, Like it's okay to not be for everybody. I'm not gonna be for everybody, but the ones who really love me.

They know that. Yeah, so that's all that matters. Yeah, I see a lot of people in the cor like I just can't get her music. I just can't. That's a lot of mind beautiful boys. Yes, I'm so happy. And beautiful spirit because that matter. Yes, I have been having a bat beautiful, beautiful spirit. Beautiful boy. Okay, what's the item of the week, Droy.

Okay, So for the item of the week, I'm gonna give Queen some products from you. I have a cosmetics line called Muse Beauty. It's Muse Bete Collections dot Com. Now, my ass forgot my little pr boxes at home, girl, so I had to put it in this little.

Oh I love the heart, but I'm marring you the whole collection.

And then I also have some messcara and eyeliner that's coming out soon and I can ship it young Red as I would be y'all money. Yes, girl, it's lip glosses, some lip liners. We also have some jelly blushes.

Oh, I love jelly blush. I'm telling you, if you have like a no makeup bruh, it does something so different. Yes, when the summer to get that.

Cute sunburn luks, Oh my god, when we was in Turks, baby, I got the jelly blush in my damn.

Yes, I love the jelly bushes. It's so good. It's so good. And I don't like the lip glosses. Yes, I can't wait. I'm gonna send.

Y'all little a little one, little one. Okay, but real quick, do you have a title of the album yet?

I do, but I can't feeling because I want to do it like in a in a very like strategic strategical.

Way, like I want my fans to engage in you. But I do have an album. I'll give you a hint. This hurt. Okay, Okay, it's like I can't. Okay, And do we have a drop date or around? We don't have a date yet, but we're definitely dropping. Okay, Okay, that's good enough for I really hope to drop in the summer. I really do.

I hope, But sometimes the label was like, well, we got to push this back. So it's coming though, Like it's done, My album's done. Everything gets up to the production. Yes, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

But either way, like.

I'm still gonna put out singles just for that, I still will get new queen music.

Can you give us? Can you tell us what the single called? I don't know yet.

Actually, I gotta gotta go through the proj Yeah, we gotta, we gotta pick. We gotta pick which one is that you know want to go behind?

I know they ready. Yeah, we are so ready for new music.

I'm so happy that people are even still here, just like anticipating.

Yeah, but you know what, I really want artists to get back to that. Sometimes I think that people be dropping too much, Like when you gotta think, well, when you dropped the album, it will be some years. Yes, I want people to digest. Yes that you gotta really take that music.

In, like if you drop.

I don't think that as an artist you should be dropping two three albums in a year, and that's just too much. You should drop one album, let it marinate, go on tour a little bit, let people.

Rock with they gotta marinate. The gotta be memorable. That's my thing too.

I want to make music that's memorable and not just some little microwaveable music like Okay, we'll get over this.

I want people to just like I want to be class last album, you want that Confessions? Like you know what I'm saying. We're still talking about Confession. First of all, Laurence Hill, she had one album, one album, the time of the people.

Still they somebody out in the world right now is waiting for her to get on stage. Like a lot of people don't make classic Like like a lot of people don't make They don't. They don't because the labels are looking for them.

TikTok yes it yeah, And guess how people engage.

Oh sorry, go ahead, And I'm just saying that's why people engage with the TikTok.

It is it is. But y'all know what I love about TikTok.

Though all of these old songs are going viral again, that's what I love about times. It's like young la how the song go oh my Pocka is yeah, I love my vegetables.

It's like, I don't the kids even be finding these songs.

But also TikTok is good because that's where I find a lot of like my undiscovered artists and low key like I have fixed my algorithm so good when I tell you, I find so many new artists all the time from TikTok.

Yeah, my son finds a lot of songs, you know. And I'm like, oh, this is good.

Yes, it'd be some good, some really really good songs. And so I'm like, there's always like a good and a bad side.

To the internet for me, because I remember when they got rid of TikTok for a little bit. That was mad at me for what I said. What you say, I'm about to trap myself again? Okay? Was that because all I said was all I said? Was what did I say? I think.

I was like, okay, well now we can have a little bit because I thought it was going to be Don't get me wrong, I love TikTok too, but I wasn't think about the people that make money off of TikTok when I said this, so keep that in mind.

I was thinking about music. I was like, well, maybe it'll give people like that make real, real music, like yeah.

A little chance again, because now I feel like, like you said, people just looking for the TikTok. Right, So I was thinking like, oh, well maybe like but it offended a lot of people.

Like well the people on TikTok or real artistic. Yeah, I was just like, you know, they can't wait to be fake outrage. Yeah, but I love TikTok. I love girl.

What they say it on top, I think like it don't it's just a bullshit Like I was asking, It's like a lot of times like her exgo viral, they'll take clips of like her and Claire.

Stuff like that. I'll be back there once I got to promote something.

Yeah, they just be doing stupid souff cause it'd be stuff that I'll be saying because it's stuff that we go through that sometimes don't somebody will clip something of us.

They be like Dre hates leg Oh my god that yeah, like you, I'd be like, I swear they do that to me, And I'm like, she is she.

Is so ready he cannot stand he hates her. But people also don't understand too, Like, bro, we're real people. So even if we do get an attitude that okay, like.

But then too sometimes it's just like me and lex I, like we do.

A very good job of when we're like not getting along or we have something going on. Not portraying you on the show, but like she might have said something crazy to me five minutes before we started recording, and I gotta be like, hey, welcome, support mine and I say it.

Again, that relationship, but that's relationships in general. Brow men.

I hate her like that's just such a strong thing off the day. That's why I'm like, m h hay girl, But it happens we're him.

But I.

Like, do y'all know I have like sister yea best friends that you've been friends with for ten years.

No, y'all don't get on each other nerves. Let's talk about that.

Because they be having friends that they've been with for ten years. They don't have long relationships yours where you've been with somebody for five years, yeah, six years, and yeah we be going through shh.

I love him still, my man. Hello, you know what I'm saying. You do get on my nerves and I get on. I couldn't imagine my life without Spookie. But but no, but that's what I'm saying.

I've seeing all that ship, like I said, afage TikTok scroller honey. But I like I said, Look, I'm thirty five, so TikTok is how I keep in the know of what the kids got going on. But I do see, like I said, I see all the stuff about me, Drea, you know, whatever is going on.

That's how I stay in too.

So like I said, TikTok has a good side, but it also has a bad side.

But I giving that makes me say.

They said it about everybody. They said about every friendship and every relationship. That's what made me feel better once I went when I went to share room and I'm like, it's someone that was like, oh my god, she is Wow. When I look at the comments, even that person that I think is so wild, nothing but negative stuff.

About Oh yeah, that's why I said, talk about everybody, not just me.

And Brenda was talking about everybody.

But y'all know what, y'all got a good point because they it's like hate pages for Beyonce and Beyonce don't say she beyond.

They don't give up nothing.

She doesn't talk to people still be trying to find They hate it.

When she was doing her natural hair line, oh my god, even she parted it down the middle. They was like, it's only on one side.

Tanner Adell had posted this picture of herself being funny, and she was like, oh my gosh, y'all, look at this picture of my great great grandmother that I found, the picture of herself, and everybody was like, you are such a liar.

You're just like Sissa. It was like, all right, that's what brea scene, that's what scene. I'm just repeating what you say, but I'm telling you. It was a thread of people calling her a liar, stupid. We can tell this is lashes you got. It's clearly a picture of herself, and she was like, trolling being funny. Yeah, it just it just it's two different types of people on the internet.

So we got the creators that are making a bag and showing themselves, and then you got the comments that are usually negative.

The only people that are not negative are the people that follow me and love me.

But anyone outside of that, I don't expect for them to even know like me at all.

Yeah, you know, And that's why I said, it's a lot of people. TikTok is different. So you got people that make money off of clipping your stuff. Oh my god, DNG actually said this. He said, there's a guy who's said, like he's paid off his house, he bought a brand new car just from hard stuff.

There's an account. And I'm not mad at you. No, we loved them. They always created.

And stuff from poor minds and they go back and they put a bunch of stuff together and they go viral a lot.

You know what I'm saying. And I'm not mad at it because it spreads the word. But check this out.

So our producer she started reposting it all the time, like posting it on our page. We got kicked out of the TikTok creator fund, but it's our video. It's crazy because we were reposting the videos that they were posting. Oh wow, but it's us in the video.

But they came us out. Yeah, girl, it's great. It we did.

We said something and I think now we can start back getting monetized. But for like a whole month, we couldn't get monetized from that, and it was us in the video. I'm like, this is I need to get creating stuff. Yeah, I've been trying to want to get on that.

It's hard for me to take a picture of my food before I eat it. Yeah, I just want to eat it. Yeah, set the camera up before you get in a car. Yeah, I'm not like a good vlogger what I'm doing.

But like I can do stuff like this, like I have called love lexp and I just prop my camera up and I talk and I do all my hot topics and things like that.

I can do talk show stuff content.

But I just can't, like a day in the life stuck, especially if I'm in the moment I've been trying to have a good time.

Ye be hard, it'd be hard, bruin the vibe sometimes having a good time and then you just.

Get a real good moment but the camera turned off or something. Yeah, or it's not recording. Yes, oh my god. So yeah, I'm just like, let me just stick to what I know. Let me just sit to what I know. Okay. Do you give good advice? You think I believe I give good advice? Okay, I think you do. I can see that. Okay, So we are about to do pour your heart out.

If you want your question answered on the show, makes you email us at ask Poor Minds at g If you're a Patreon member, make sure you put that in the headline.

You get to skip the line of course.

Okay, so we have some questions and we are going to give our best advice.

Go ahead, Drea Heylex Andrea big fan of the show. I love how y'all hold space for real stories.

So here's mine.

From the outside, I look like I've got it together, two small businesses, college student, creative, big dreams. But behind all of that, I've been through real life lost, heartbreak, sexual assault, two abortions, and carrying grief while being the strong friend. I've always kept together for everyone else, but lately I've been wondering who holds me. I started a nonprofit called Grief God Growth to help others navigate pain,

Think we kind of touched on that this episode. Yeah, that's why this is a good question. Yeah, what was the last two What was the questions that you got to? She said, how do you keep?

She said, how do you keep showing up when you're still healing from the stuff no one claps for. And how do you forgive yourself for surviving when you couldn't help I mean, when you couldn't save everyone else.

Oh that is a good one, it is. That's yeah.

I think like survivor's guilt is real, and I think a lot of times you have to understand forgiving yourself is the biggest is the one of the hardest things. I'm personally going through that honestly right now, if I'm being vulnerable and honest, and I think you just have to give yourself grace and you have to give yourself time. I think a lot of times we get mad at

And you're getting mad at yourself. It takes time to heal. You know, you have to be easy with yourself.

The world is already hard on us individually as people, as women. So the best thing that you can do for yourself is just go easy on yourself and give yourself time to heal. Give yourself time healing is a journey. And I'm not talking about six, seven, eight months.

It takes years to heal.

And you have to be willing to have your good days but also be willing to have your bad days.

It's okay to cry, it's okay to be angry.

I think sometimes when we're sad and we're angry, we feel like we're not supposed to be feeling these things. You're not supposed to be happy every day. That's not normal. Being sad is normal, Being mad as normal, Being happy is normal. So I think going through the emotions of actual healing is rough. It's hard, but you have to acknowledge that and you have to be okay with not being okay. And I think that's the hardest thing. People are not okay with not being okay.

Give yourself the grace, Yeah, give yourself grace, man, Like, you.

Really have to give yourself grace and like I said, just time to heal. And you have to understand not everybody's gonna clap for you for doing things that people like, Oh, I'm not gonna applaud a fish for swimming.

You got a clap for yourself? Hello, you do you know, ma'am, ma'am what do you think, queen?

She said, how do you how do you keep showing up for yourself? Okay, I think a lot of people feel like showing up means every day you go full force.

M yep. As long as you just try every day, try to do your best showing up.

Don't look the same every day, right, you know what I'm saying. And you also got to understand a lot of people. I would just use myself as an example. I have ADHD really bad. So if I don't get

I still did it. I'm still accomplished.

Yeah, you still accomplish. And and to the fact that no one clapped for like she said, you have to do it for yourself. A lot of people forget to confide in God and ask him and cast all your cares upon him. You gotta cast all your cares upon God, because we cannot do it alone. And you have to really really ask for desertment on when do I When do I rest?

Because we need to rest. A lot of people overwork themselves just trying to like show up, show up, show up.

Some days you gotta rest, so get like you said, give yourself, like she said, give yourself grace and know that even a small win is still a win.

And what was the second question? It was, how do you forgive yourself for surviving when you couldn't save everyone else? That one was deep.

I'm gonna tell you, like my therapists would tell me, it's it's everything's not your responsibility.

And that's a tough call, especially when you want to bring everybody with you.

Yeah, every and everyone's everyone's like success. Well, your success is not everyone else's success. Like people will say, well, I ain't make it like you, because you know you you made it up here. But like success can be just right here for them, you know what I mean. It doesn't mean that like you didn't bring them with you and so like you left them out in the

You know you can't.

Like everyone makes their own decisions and either rewards or consequences come from that, and you can't.

You can't blame yourself for that. That's too much, that's too much to put on your.

You never gonna be happy if you yourself for what other people are doing with their life. Like, you can't save people. I feel like if people are willing to do the work, or you know they are having a heart and you can help them, you should, But you shouldn't go at your way to make it your responsibility to try to save people around you, because you can't want more for people than what.

They want for the hell.

Yeah, and some people don't really want that much. It's a harsh reality.

But it's like you want to lie. You want to lie. That's why you grinding for it, That's why you striving for it.

This person around you, you might want them to want more because you love them and you care about them and you want them to be there with you, but they might not want them even be meant for them.

Being an entrepreneur is not meant for everybody. We still need the people that were working there. That's not everybody's story, you know. And just because it doesn't mean that they're like any less special exactly.

Know, like everybody is just not for everyone.

People need about doing something little. Sometimes it's all you need to do to show up. Because I was talking to my friend about that because we both kind of deal with depression and stuff, and she's kind of going through it right now, and I was like, man, be proud of yourself because you're looking at it like, oh, yeah, I got out the house today, but I just went to my friend's house.

But I was still sad.

I said, but you got out of the house, like when you were depressed, you could have just stayed there.

In fucking bed.

Because I'm telling y'all, I am a very like I'm very clean, clean person, Like I am very kind of like OCD when it comes to my place. And but when I like, I got really like depressed, like around like December and January, and I just let my apartment. I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I have so much shit everywhere. And I just could not get out of the bed. I just could not do it.

But I was like, you know what, I did it.

You did it, though, and I feel so much better, and I was like clapping for myself. I was like, bitch, I cleaned my closet today.

Amen, you did that, bitch. I don't care if it's like something small or big. Clap for you. That's all you did it, yep, because only you know what it took for you to be able to do there. Oh you got to give yourself that pet on the baby. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, even when Drag was doing seventy five hard, I'll use this for an example because I'm like, ooh, damn, I need to get my ass up and go to the gym. And it's like even though like I was still going to the gym, but I would like get on the treadmill and I'm like walking for twenty minutes.

I'm like, bitch, you got up, Bitch, you got up. You know what I'm saying.

I'm like okay, and now I'm like back and I'm like lifting waists and like, cause even with that, you don't know what's motivating people or what's you know, getting them through to, like, you know what, let me get up and move my body and do something. Because I'll say this about working out too and or going to church or anything. It's like your journey is your journey because I never post when I go to the gym. And I posted myself in the gym like a day or two ago.

I don't know why what made me.

Do it, but I was like it was like four or five people whoever reacted to my store and was like, oh, I see you finally back in the gym.

Now I see you fine, and it's just so. But then why I don't post, because why would you say that?

But it doesn't matter, bitch, I'd have lost thirty pounds since January.

I don't need to document everything.

Oh I got you girls, But I just feel like that's why it's so hard to be open about. Like even with me going to church, I was on cocktails talking about how I'm going to church now, and peoples in the comments like.

Oh, you go to church. But it's like, that's why you sprazy. You know what I'm saying.

But I don't need I don't talk about it because I don't need those applause from y'all because I've been clapping for myself and I've been getting through my battles that y'all don't even know about behind closed doors, and I'm doing it. So I think to answer her question, like you said, do you want one hundred percent have to clap for yourself even for the small thing?

For sure, Yes, ma'am. I was trying to lift to it. It was like, you're doing it wrong, You're I had our girl, you come show me. Then to the gym, and then.

You know what I'm saying, And I think, like, like I said, well, working out it's a hard journey. Like I was going to the gym so consistently, then I kind of fell off. Then I started just doing cardio because I wanted to lose weight. Now I lost the weight and it's like, okay, I'm back lifting out. Everybody's story is different. Everybody. Let people do what they do yeah, And and then when I go to your page, it seems like you ain't never been.

Hello, right, But I always say I feel like when it comes to the gym, and like even with church, anything in life that you have to push yourself to do, it's more so about the discipline, like, because you're not gonna always have the motivation, right, So you have to always ask yourself, Okay, how important is this relationship that I'm trying to be with God? How important easy to me that I get closer to him and draw closer

Don't do it when you don't want to, that's the best time. Girl. It was days while I was doing seventy five hart.

And I'm usually a morning person when it comes to working out morning or afternoon, but it was times while I was doing seventy five hard where I live really was just all day, like I don't want to go, so I ended up having to go at like nine pm.

Just to get it done.

But I went because it's like a discipline thing, you know, So I think you have to look at it like that. And sometimes I don't know if that will help anybody, but it helps me because I'm not always motivated.

And look, I'm the same way with church. Sometimes I'll be having to go to that five o'clock service all day, you know, but I'll go.

Yeah, you know, and that's what God see and that's what, like you said, only it's only him that judging.

Right, Okay, Queen, No, that's great. This wasn't so much so obviously.

I mean, the girls know who you are, but let them know where they can find you, all the good stuff you got coming up, where they can catch you and all that good y'all.

Gotta just find me on all platforms at Queen Nija. Yes that's my real name, q n A I j A on everything. Oh yeah, go on my snapchat too, because I'll be showing my real self.

Oh yeah, well, thank you.

This fun I did, I had a lot of Okay, I'm ready eat, Okay, me too.

All right, what's the y'all.

Next, y'all, y'all, make sure y'all share the content like subscribe, follow all that good stuff. And let me say this before we close out, y'all. There is one Twitter account that is connected to poor Minds. It's p oh, you are underscore in my nds. Y'all are tagging the wrong poor Minds page. If you see at poor minds with no underscore, that is at fake page, do not follow that page. Okay, they block me Andrea and the poor Minds page on both so we only have one Instagram, one Twitter, one TikTok.

It is p oh, you are underscore in my nds?

All right, and we got hell a fake Facebook page on the Facebook page it's our face. The crazy thing is our Facebook page actually have the least amount of filow So.

If you're on Facebook, one that's ours got the least amount of file, but one that's not us.

Got like two hundred and.

Fifty follow make if you actually look at the content because the caption is like whoever it is, don't speak English, because.

Their captures are like bumba claude? Should men? Should men pay bill? Should men pay bill? Yes?

No?

Check answer below block block like that's literally with the caption, I'm like, what that DC is Bumba claude, Wamba claude.

You are the Brenda Queens and we bringing y'all the hits week made popular by s w V.

Already, Ladies, here we go first. I don't know what daddy, don't man act in such a grade it way?

Yeah, heity queen, whatever it is that you do when you do what you to show me up now, it's a feeling that I don't want to stand.

Because my heart starts. We thought of loving you on my mind. I can't figure out just what the problem here is you Okay, I get so weakend I can hardly speak.

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It's not a face. I want you to say with me a second. I swallow my pride. Your love is so sweet it knocks me right off of my fet Explain why you're love. It makes me hold on, No, queen, you better singing nowts.

Time after time after time my ride to fight, but your love and strong it.

Keeps so on hold and no.

Christies is down your around cross free.

My couttingdition. I don't want to me Hello.

Oh my heart starts eating it tremble time with all of you on my mind, I can't figure out just what to do when the problem here iss you.

I guess so we get it. I can hardly speak. I lose at you and so and say so of me in a day, and it's so amazing.

It's not a face. I want you to stay with me by my side. I sawallow my pride. Love it knocks me right off of my feet.

Can it sway away? Love? It makes me? We give it to a queen. Don't hold back, give it to.

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I again so weekend aneas I can hardly.

Speak, I lose control, can't say so for me in a day, and it's so amazing.

It's not a face. I want you to say, what do you mean? On my side? I saw hollow my pride. Your love is so sweet it knocks me right off for my feet because I wasn't gonna eat it. You was looking at me like do it the shine? I'm not gonna lie. This is like the best carry on.

There. You did have you did had a real singer, but now you got a real all right, we'll sing.

Out next week. Knot