085: A Nuclear Arsenal of Iran Takes [Preview]

All's well in downtown Dubai, everything looks fine, people outside, no big deal. So I don't know what the fuss is all about on social media where people think it's a war zone. It's absolutely not. It's perfectly safe out here. I love it. Thanks for the report SO.

So we soon sort of found out. I mean, I don't know, sort of, I say I have to say sort of because we don't know exactly, but it seems to be Jared that Dubai is paying him to some degree because he was with a bunch of other Dubai influencers that are from different countries and posted a picture of himself with that group. And he's been posting nothing. But like how I don't know whether he's exactly paid or like what the relationship is, but he's been posting a lot of

direct like Dubai is great. He's he even posted something like Dubai tourism is going to jump off as soon as this war ends. It's really crazy. It's actually quite and then people government officials be like, thank you, Ian, you are great. Like in these replies. It's it's it's actually it's actually like mind boggling. I don't know how. This could be it would be funnier if the government. Like some kind of magic life in Dubai.

It would be way funnier if the Dubai officials were replying to him and being like, Sir, you are Malaysian, what do you know about Dubai? How could you possibly know anything about Dubai? Why are you so interested in tourism? Oh. Oh my God. So he posted this this extraordinarily dystopian video. Yeah, I would play audio, but it's it's really a visual. Experience it.

You can't where he was trying where he's where he was supposed to be looking cool and he's like smoking a a hookah with like this dead eyed fake cool guy expression. It's just, I don't know how to do it. It just looked like his version of a cool guy expression looks like someone took a fresh turd and kind of waved it in front of his nose for a little bit and just asked him to like, don't react, don't react. You know, it's like Jared's doing it, but you can't. Yeah.

It's just sort of like he's just sweating it out until the turd moves away and he's doing this. And then there's this like absolutely crappy band. I don't know if there's this like weird brand. I can't remember. I don't know if they're Indian or what. And they're like playing some jangly thing. And there's some guy who's like his friend. I don't know if he's another like poster associated whatever with this union of of Dubai posters. And he's just like on his phone looking bored.

It is. And he and Chong was just like, it's 3:00 AM in Dubai. It's like supposedly everything's bad outside, but we're just keeping it real over here or whatever, he said. Dude, you, you're forgetting the best part. So it's him smoking the hookah. It's his friend, just like staring down into his phone looking like he's about to fall asleep.

And then it's workers at the club showing up with like, bottle service with a sparkler shooting out of the bottle and just being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Oh my God, yes, it did. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, that's to him. He's like, yeah, we got the we're living the fucking life in Dubai. We're living the life. And and you know, we don't know if someone is paying him there. Who knows if they set him up for that.

Like, we'll, we'll buy you a table service with some bottles and like, you can get some hookah for free and just just post about it, buddy. We just want to like, make Dubai look good as Iran bombs various locations there because Dubai also relies very heavily on tourism. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the tourism port does a lot of that stuff, right? Yeah, exactly, exactly.

It's it's there's a lot of people, like a lot of people pass through there, a lot of, you know, for tourism or also for travel from one place to another. So this is important to them. So so they need they're like, you know what we need to do? We need to get Ian on this. We need to get Ian like the double O 7 type thing. It's like Mr. Bond, like M calls him in the M of Dubai and is like, we have a mission for you should you choose to accept it. Yeah. OK.

So the the key, the Keith Woods, the Irish white supremacist, you're familiar with that gentleman. Of course. Yeah, you know, when Jared takes a long time, he knows what I'm talking about. He he referred I hate to I, you know, I, I, you know, I don't want to hatch him already, but he referred to the video as Lynchian. So that is how it. Is yeah, it kind of yeah. It's it's like a. It's like. A a deleted scene of Twin Peaks, you know. Yeah, that is how it's landing

with. That's how that is how it's landing with his target demographic on X. And then, you know, after everybody made fun of it, which everyone did, I mean, it seems like people on the right piled on it even more than, I mean, there's not many people on the left, you know, left of it. Yeah, I mean, you, you, you hear so much about like how divided this country is, but it's moments like that where it's like, you know, actually we're

all like 11 Nation 1 website. We can all make fun of you. We can. We can all make fun of you in for a minute. Anyway, so he had the audacity to to quote, tweet this and and write, you know, something to the effect of like, oh, this, this cringe, this cringe post is you know, it, it worked exactly as planned, Like it really took off, which is a that's a that that's what we call a cope.

Which I feel, but I feel like that also could add to the theory that maybe the tourism board in Dubai or something had paid for this. And he's like, he's like, damn, I got batshit engagement. That's all they care about. Like. Yeah, I mean. One OA. Yeah, my strong recommendation, because I am not getting paid by any Dubai tourism board, is do not go there right now because bombs are literally falling from the sky and, you know, pretty soon one of them is going to

kill somebody that could be you. So that's my that's my personal take on that. Then he posted that I mentioned that picture with all the different influencers and we got to look for the first time like. His crew dog. Yeah, we, we his crew and also him and he's a, he's very diminutive. But the interesting thing and I, I don't, I really don't want to scrutinize somebody's appearance too much, but I just, I had to point this out.

If you look at the thing, Ian looks like he's like 4 foot 10 and everybody else is is is 5/8 or taller and and everybody's shoes look like they're size 10 or bigger and Ian's look like they're size 12. So he looks like he's like 4 foot 10 with like size 12 shoes in the picture. That is my take of it. When I saw it, I wrote on on

blue sky. I hate to quote my own thing, but I'm I'm not going to get better material of this, which is Ian Miles Chong has the look of the Star Wars junkyard Muppet. The protagonist reluctantly barters with to repair their jump speeder, which he does. He really does look like a a Star Wars muppet that that tries to get you to to get a few rations or something so he can fix your jump speeder. Yeah, I'm just leaving this photo again. I have it pulled up.

His pants don't fit. You should buy pants that fit. But he's living his best life. Like it's, it's a weird thing to say, which is like Ian Miles Chung used to like anger me so much because it was like, Oh my God, like during the first trumpet measure, I'll be like, this fucking guy is in Malaysia and he's always fucking with our politicians. But like something about it now there's some sort of charm to it now because he, I feel like he has no influence over American

discourse anymore. And now he's just like this Internet freak. He's just this weird like creature that a. Website personality. Because he's a, well, he's a, he's a website personality. If ever there's been a motherfucking website personality, he may be the greatest website personality of all time. He may be, he may be the, he may be the like, he's like, yeah, he's like the Wayne Gretzky of, of website personalities. He's he's he's a record-breaking

website personality. Well, Mike, I do want to remind you that when I reached out to him, he did say he would be open to joining us for an episode of our show sometime. We should do it while the bombs are falling. It's just, I want to hear like, like, like, just like, just. I want to have him like. Surviving. I want to have him on only to talk about Dubai.

What's he like to do? I don't want to, I don't want to. I don't want to blow up this reporter's spot, but I sent it the I, I sent the Chong thing around at the time it first happened. And, and the reporter said to me, Iran has an opportunity to do the funniest thing, which I don't think is inappropriate. I don't want to. I'll let him spit, say, say it using his own name. Well, it's not Andrew. Andrew Tate's in Dubai too, right? No, isn't he, is he a name Dubai now?

I thought, isn't he like, I don't know, he's always in a. Director in the UAE baby. No, he's in US. Where Where is he? I don't know. We we we did not cover this prop. We did not do our research on the Andrew Tate. You just brought it up. I don't know. Whoops. I don't think he is. I don't think he's in UA now, but I do. I do think, you know, it would be great to get Chong on the line. Well, only when the bombs are falling. I want to hear. I want to hear him justify his up.

Like I'd be like, Sir, what do you know about the North Carolina primary? But well, I'll tell you what just. Pick some random post about American politics that he's posted in the last week and ask him a single follow up question. See. If he see if he knows it all. I wonder how it would feel if if like you were going to die and you were in Miles Chong. I mean, you knew like the walls were closing in due to due to

bombs, right? And stuff like to be like I posted for 10 years about this president in the country I didn't live in and then I and then I like and. Then that president. Killed me in Dubai. Oh, it's terrible. No.