Goodbye Poog

Hi, I'm kateer Lance, I'm Jacqueline Novak, And this is Poog.

An ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

Two untamable intellects.

This is our hobby, this is our hell, this is our naked desire for free products.

This is poog Today's topics. Loolie speaking. Just came to say goodbye Poog Poo.

Don't scare them, and don't scare me.

You know what's funny, I'm distracted. Goodbye Pooh goodbye. No, No, I don't know what that is. Listeners know your parents left Rent early.

That's oh yeah, I don't know Poog. I mean I don't know Rent, but listen.

Yeah.

In true Poog fashion, we have in no way discussed how we're going to talk about today's topic. But I think, of course, as always, that's what drives Poog. So everyone listening, we love you. You're our family, the community that we've created here over the last fifteen years. How long has it been sixteen? Okay, so first of all.

No clue. By the way, someone was like, you've been doing it five years, and I was like.

I think what I just November is five years? No, Yeah, bitch four, No, four, if not five three bitch four three?

What are you thinking? Four places? I remember, I'll really cry about it too.

Wait, I have to break in and say it's not over or is it?

Here's the thing, Well, this is the final episode of Okay this season. Well that's true. This is the final episode, and not only that, the final episode of who.

Guys we know it?

It unplugged. I mean it did the thing it does.

Hold on and she went unplugged.

As usual. Bye love, good bye love. Wait, so what did you say? So? So Poog has been cock fought. Last episode of the season, last episode of the contract.

Absolute chaos, chaos in the chaos, in the chaos, a sliver of light of what the future could be, of an unpronounced, undefined future where we're all together. I'm, of course, plagued with the fact that I can. The sound is so intense.

Oh wow, alight, let me lower my see if we can lower my input? Bye Poog, So bye Hags. I don't like its Goodbye Hags. Oh no, I have a better one. Wait, you don't know any of these. It's gonna do them. One of the most beautiful melodies for names and John Villjehan is about to go to heaven.

I don't know of whom you speak.

I'm just looking for sound. You're very quiet. Hey, Chris, will you closed Chris, I'm doing all the Pook things one last time. Will you close the door?

There?

We're recording Pook and for some reason the sound is more of an issue than usual.

We're recording Pook for the last time because the window is open.

Classic. Yeah, if you can close it. The window is open. Unbelievable. Listen.

I just think we have to be clear with them, our community.

So we have fucked.

We're bent over a couch. Guys, can't see who's fucking you?

Bent over the burrow. Okay, we've been flung out. We've been flung out into space. We've been All we can say is Lincoln Bio. All we can say is all we can and Lincoln and bias.

And this is where it gets radical. This is where I get excited. This is where I go. Tony Robbins enter me, right, this is where I go.

What is the next five years old? What is the next ten years old? Right?

Yeah?

So Lincoln Bio.

So all we can tell you is that today, as you're listening to this episode on this beautiful Tuesday or whenever you might be listening to this episode. If you go to Kate Berlant on Instagram, if you go to Jack Nove on Instagram, if you go to Poog podcast on Instagram, there's going to be a hyperlink. There's going to be a link. Click that and you will confind us and wherever it is that we go. We love you, We love this show. We'd be cross eyed, dead and

Also some next families wake you in the night and they say you don't have time to get in the fucking car. Kids. Okay, this is an episode about faith. Ooh, this is an episode about a leap.

This is an episode about the diaspora.

Oh yeah, yeah, what are you smelling? I can't see is a sponge?

This is so gorgeous. My cousin just sent me this in the mail. Beeswax candle. There's nothing like the smell of beeswax, and I want to return to that. I want to thank Aromatech for sending us an oil diffuser have to have to eliminate the dependence on a natural fragrance in the home bees wax. Oh my god, it just smells unbelievable. It smells to me like what life.

Could be stopped by last night?

It's almost oh, I was gonna say, Jacqueline, I find it unbelievable. Today's our last day recording poog in this iteration of poog last night.

Or poog at all legally speaking, or maybe never hints of book again to be clear, it would be nothing related derivative.

And and stopping by last night with you, by the ways, three hours, didn't it feel like forty five minutes?

It just passed out being like and I haven't served any more food? Oh please?

And I was lifted, drove home, No, didn't want it, drove home, was so lifted, slept like a baby, woke up happier. Oh I saw my friend. I know, isn't it incredible?

I was really pleased with my comeover right now as in my pj's instant entertainment. And I was really pleased with quick quick mix.

And it was like, all right, see you, I'm thirty. Yeah, Jacqueline firing up strawberry mezcal or tequila whatever it was, Daker Ease, I'm a little hungry. Can I have a snack? You hand me a mug of warmed purple potatoes with nutritional yeast. I was like, this is true friendship, just the you know, the immediacy. You know it's a friend when I'm hungry, when you walk in the door. Future, you walk in the door and you say I'm hungry, you can have a snack. That's a profound intimacy.

Yeah, made me think I do need to keep some classic snacks around. I don't know if I can be held accountable of that. I also just want to say, this might be a moment when now you might want to hit the old merch store because this might become a legal property.

Sound. Well, I'm really concerned about your sound. I'm really concerned about your sound. I can like it sounds like really echoy like normally you're in my ears and you're just not like is that just me? I'm just concerned. Let me see, can you go closer to the mic for a second.

Yeh me, oh, kate what it clicked off? And it's been and it hasn't been using the mic. I'm hearing myself in my mic.

Damn, I'm glad I said something. I knew something was wrong. If you see something safe.

I don't want to let me do anything, alright, let me leave one.

Okay, So listen times of transition by the merch.

Now I buy up. Now, something might just just nothing safe. As we said, the Pooh merch might be.

Rendered an antique quite soon. I don't want to scare everyone. I don't want to scare the community. You need to know that we love you, we need you. We have no no desire to rupture the womb that we've created, that we've nurtured, that we've you know, brought nutrients into for coming up four years, if not five.

But put nutrients into a womb to eventually birth them to the next Fuck.

Fuck, you're so right.

Where they're going now that the world has to be their womb. I don't mean without us.

No, never without us.

The point is you're gonna have to pay attention. People said, where are you The last couple of weeks, we've been trying to delay the inevitable, folks. We've been trying to get through legal loopholes, trying to delay the.

We've been trying to keep the family together. And so that's being said Lincoln Bio Lincoln Bio Bio, Jacqueline Okay, Kate Berlant Instagram, Poog podcasts, Instagram, Jack No Instagram. There's going to be a hyperlink. Click on that, follow us, find us. We're going to get our roof over our heads. We're going to figure it out.

Yeah, but right now we're in a boat and you better cast your line and he'll get into the wood in the side of our boat. Okay, Yes, and TVD Visual highly deal. Well, the names names may be no longer. Okay.

We don't know what's going to happen, and it really is a true unknown and I'm brought to you know here I am recalling what do they say, twenty twenty seven massive energy shift. Right, we're going to be entering twenty twenty five. So it's a couple of years.

After we get a new RSS feed going, is what you're saying, joke, we're going to live before it should be live now for them.

Really right, But go to the line wherever you are listening to this, but keep spread the word, text them, keep supporting small businesses. M Sorry, you're really into I'm smelling this. My cousin set me this beacewax candle. The smell of beeswax. I mean, it's just unbelievable. And I want to shout out Aromatech for scent us gorgeous oil diffusers trying to get off the scented candle bandwagon and infuse the home with natural sense. Beeswax candle smells, well, life could be. It's so beautiful.

I just opened this Dow Classic not just pronunciation leap.

To okay, sure, yeah, oh yeah, hit us and we need it today.

I just pull it open. Let's see a random page. If it says anything, when my spirit goes to the door, my bones returned to the root from which they grew, will remain of me. That's interesting. Yeah, link in, Okay, next step, I just did another. I'm gonna pull another random Okay, good, said Confucius. He is a man who knows how to console himself. Well, that's what you said.

Remember driving in the car and you've got like triggering information and you said, good, remember, oh right.

It taught me that a couple of things we do have to hit. I wrote a list out that was given to us.

Hit the list.

There there are things we know and there are things we don't know. Ain't that the truth? One thing we know is that, yes, I'm trying to scare you. I'm trying to wake you up. Okay, trying to Tony Rob scratch the record, he says, right, not you the audience.

I'm scared too, you'ves dropped her.

Okay, I'm not. I'm I'm excited. I really you venture.

I know you really are guiding me in this. I look to you like yeah, because often you're my daughter, You're you're fucking mommy through this.

Your fixation on smelling that thing, I've actually never seen you so something pulsive in a consumption. I think you don't like eat chips like that. You just keep going for it like you can't stop.

Yeah, it's deeply nostalgic smell for me. My mother always had beeswax candles.

I don't know, but what I wanted to tell them. Okay. The headline is linking bio right link and bio to find the new place right too. Get your merch now, buy it up. It'll there's a huge chance that will never be produced again. Okay, you want that logo on something, you'll be drawing it. Okay, three, three, and yeah we're fighting okay three not us no, yeah, yeah, keep an eye out, okay, hunt every couple of days, just hunt through spam searching just in case the newsletter confirmation should

You'll know, and you'll go aliminal, aliminal reality where we can all do well.

Reality shall emerge lifeboat, life raft. Okay, everyone's welcome. Been on. There's enough link Bio boats. We're going to stay together. There so in an effort, but in an effort to be directed at the end of our contract, in the state of good faith negotiation.

The truth is we are aware, we're suddenly aware that we do not own Poog the way we thought we owned it. And if you love Poog, then we hope that you'll join us on the other side of this moment Link and Bio come find us. We will be there.

We'll continue get two paths ahead of us. Folks at this moment of rupture. Okay, rupture turns what is one into two, continuity free, continued experience. You'll see it, you'll know it then like nothing ever happened. Huge moment, huge momentuge.

Shattering new one.

Finally, first class all the way to the back. Welcome to a premium experience of the two of our voices. Ye get ready feel what's in your heart to be part of the next phase. I mean that's the other thing. We're dropped on our asses financially here, so we need your cash and you know a lot of you have tried to give it to us in the past, said, how that's actually getting real. These microphones are about to They're showing up, they're taking the microphones.

Away, They're coming for them.

Yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, OK, keep going brutal.

I'm excited because I love adventure. I love when something goes wrong and you get this chance, you're forced into doing something exciting.

Absolutely, and we're being forced which is I think this I think the future of this show. It's gonna better and brighter. It's gonna burn, It's gonna burn harder.

Time. You gotta, you gotta.

You know, I had a really interesting moment today. I was in therapy and there are some ants in my office. Nothing too overwhelming, but you know, their ants. And I was talking about you know, I was doing therapy and the ants. And she goes, interesting, you have ants, you know, ants clear away what's dead.

You're saying this because I yesterday or two days ago, not here, but somewhere else. Ants were a thing. There were just a few, but other people were like, oh, there might be ants and then whatever they saw some ants.

They're sorting their sorters, they sort, they take away what's dead, what's not working. My therapist goes, if they weren't ants, there would be a film. There would be dirt, you know, covering everything in this whole universe. You know, you need the ants. So the ants are carrying away these old modalities and what new ones might you know, might be uncovered.

I'm imagining the hags is ants okay, and they can carry us off totally. Well, that's that's the subscription model. Certainly, let's just get serious. I mean, each lifts a tiny little bit and then they're carrying.

Our huge courses exactly.

They're breathing off to a new place. March March March.

So again, you will be able to listen to us. You'll have to subscribe to something, but you'll be able to listen to us as you're doing now. But then if you want to kick us a couple bones, you'll be able to listen to us ad free bonus. There's a lot we're getting. There's a lot that's happening Lincoln.

A lot.

I am just to pivot more. I tried today. And Focus sent us a supplement which is supposed to and I have to say, I think I'm feeling the effects.

Realize this.

And Focus and Repeat is the brand they sent us the and Focus it's a proprietary blend l Tyro sign and Bakopa Lief Extract five hundred milligram. Popped two of these this morning. I gotta be honest, I was kind of feeling it. My partner took too. They were feeling it too. I texted them, is it just me like I'm feeling kind of focused. I'm kind of feeling like I can deal today. I'm kind of feeling I can deal today look, God, millennial, Hell, what what are you doing?

Back to cheek squads? But wow, I'm sorry? Was that less interesting than you were? A product? No?

No, no, no, I just meant wow, I've never been able to do the cheek squads.

Yeah, well, then there must because the muscles are asleep, and if you don't wake them soon do it, you'll have nothing to replace the diminishing. How do you do it? Well, there's a few ways. There's like the easy ways, the easier ways to try to get.

You, and you still need to subscribe to beauty shanman.

Like you could like hold something like a cap in your mouth. I think this is one version where it helps people like isolate the muscles.

So like mum, hum, she's holding a cap in her mouth and then she's kind of lifting her chin.

Not doing it. I'm not doing it well well in a state of panic.

I'll also say I had my first experience with prilosec, which is a Hartburn medicine, really last week up in the night, horrific stomach ache which.

I had about did you eat in close to bed?

No?

I hadn't my usual way, So I was convinced.

I was convinced that I had an ulcer because it was like I hadn't It was like I hadn't eaten an over eight hour, like seven hours. I woke up like five am in so much pain.

Food down there, there's nothing to the acid is just flying around, isn't it.

I was like, eat it was it was agony. No, but that's normal, like seven hours. But the point is I was in hell googling ulcer all this stuff. I go, maybe I'll just try prilo sec. I had a stomach cache all day the next day, not that severe, but enough to really kind of complicate matters and make me

That's nice.

That's fucking crazy feeling over the counter medication. They're like, let's create there's a hologram. There's a rainbow hologram behind the prilo sec.

Anyway, it's interesting.

Towards a relief when that kind of medication works. Yeah, it's just there's something like it.

I'm just curious about this really dark colored gloss and how dark it will come out.

That's say, Say has sent us such overwhelming beauty. The products keeps coming. Say sent the most gorgeous these lip glosses. They are beautiful and there's so much quality that feels like they're what are they called glossy bounce there it is. God, they're good. And the lipliners, I mean they're really thank God the producing I've been using the tinted moisturizer for months. I'm sorry it tinted sunscreen.

I don't have that.

It's possible I purchased it, you know, I think you might have. I think I've mentioned it before.

Actually you know what I've been using, but you don't even know it's in there. In the one skin there's an SPF. Actually there's two, a tinted and a on.

Oh well, the one skin that came I'm literally saving because I'm so excited about it.

Where is it usually use it? Don't save this there is I know, I know you got to stop that.

It's over to stop that? What am I?

What is that? That's like that's like ancient product keeps coming. I know, it's crazy. You need to use it. I know, I know why you haven't used the Lima yet.

No, No, I'm on the hardcore the product. I know, I know, I don't do.

Are you trying to wait till what is that dB appointment at the at the dorm? I guess you just keep on showing the fuck up I did again? No call, No, hey, do you want to hop on this? I'm if it works that way?

I know I've sent I mean, hey, V beam went in there blast. I did it initially to get rid of some broken capillary couple.

Get inspired to go for deal with the capillary because it's just like, who cares a fucking capillary? There it is?

Yeah, this one was round the fucking like middle of the bridge of my nose. It was annoying enough to me that I wanted it gone forever. I had done that a couple times. But then it's supposed to like, by the way, what are the benefits of V beam, let's look here, kind of hurts.

There's thing that's talking about it.

It's just the light. It's like a blinding light. Yeah, it's supposed to help potentially with like fine lines collagen production, and there's no downtime, like you're red I had some some very mild swelling. Day of reduces redness, restores a healthful, a healthy, youthful skin tone and texture. Stimulates collagen.

Here's it, here's it, Here's here's a poog, here's a quote. Yeah, stimulates collagen. Yeah, what doesn't. Yeah, it's every fucking product, including I know, looking your your finger, the college is snapping your finger against.

Her twenty twenty four.

I know, a slap across the face also stimulates collagen. It's everything, It's everywhere. If your product doesn't stimulating collagen at this point, you know, yeah completely.

I mean it's like it's just like the Jacqueline. I feel like you'd be proud of me. I've made a promise to myself to use the Lima every day. I want to look at my college.

I was thinking, did you do take it before picture? Because I was thinking we could do the Lima Challenge. Yeah, which is which would be three months.

Tomorrow's two weeks of using it every day because I missed two days and that's.

That minute thing. Yep, I can't find the battery right now that I mean the charger little thing for the bat.

Crazy looking for that and I almost lost my mind. I almost lost my mind. Yeah, so I realized that I was using it for like a week and it wasn't fully charged, because when I fully charged it, the red light was much stronger.

Serious, Yeah, just because it's on. Shure, it wasn't just that you were in the darkness.

I really no, no, no, because I could feel the warmth.

But here's what is comforting. Here's what's comforting. The thing that's doing the deep work isn't the red light. It's it's clear light. The red is an additional like red is an add on. It's like cud led very cool. Okay, so that might and listen, I'm just gonna say this. I'm not fucking kidding you. I feel like I already see a difference from the LIMA. Yeah, I'm sure that's why they use it in a facial like it'll do something that day.

I can't believe that. That is so hard to really grasp. How could something like that exist in this world?

Well if you think that, like, like, I find it shocking that anything like these I don't think. Okay, Like, so now I'm on with Esselston, doctor E. Sselston. This thing I saw him recommending, and he's like this isn't in the book and prevent reverse heart disease or one of his things. He's like, it's not the book. You need to for times a day flood your arteries with antioxidants. Okay,

I can feel a new futures upon us. I feel excited. I feel like that, like they're coming.

Well. I'm also a deeply entrepreneurial spirit, right. I like being the boss of my own destiny. Okay, I like I'm a captain of a ship. I was having explained to someone else again that once again that I feel that I was a captain. Yeah, and yeah, I get very excited when you know, it's like if you were sitting in school and the gym collapsed, you know what's gonna happen now, Yeah, rupture. In high school, as social vice president, there was massive flooding in the gym before

You with rubber boots up to your knees in the high.

School and then I was just in sneaks. I was just in my nine to nineties new balance girl.

I believe that we're animating, that.

That part of me is unstoppable. It's the part of me. My father calls Action Jackson.

Oh, let's right, Action Jackson. Okay, this is great, This is really good.

Do you want to see my growth or the growth of the community. Yeah. I think I had Action Jackson cut from an early episode because it felt too vulnerable to share. So sweet and look, I just did it effortlessly, although now I'm thinking of cutting it again. No, no, absolutely not.

No. Poos has changed us, Thank God for it.

The feminine principle, okay, is a life and death cycle. I was reading Marian Woodman the other day. I was lying there, Oh to lie on the bed in the mid morning and.

Read God unbelievable and.

And you know, you know, the rejection of that cycle is what creates the split in the psyche between the spirit and it incarnating.

With the rejection of what cycle I want to understand.

Well, like the rejection of like the feminine principle, like the cycle like life and death, ending and beginnings. You know, the feminine knows when something needs to die. Okay, Wisdom Sophia. Okay, it's like Sophia, like wisdom. I think of wisdom. It's like wisdom knows that that things need to die. Yeah, right, it's holistic, cyclical.

I'm sorry.

It's about the holistic therefore, and also like like we have to drag them maybe against kicking and screaming into the light, into the new new phase.

Yeah, sometimes we do go kicking and screaming. We gotta get there.

Take my hand and lead me to selvation where you can bio and can bio. I am.

Here's a little story.

What's the song? Okay? To me, I was gonna ask, what is the song of the end of Poog? Oh?

My god, I don't like to hear that. I don't want to hear that song. I'm actually getting I just got upset. I don't like that.

I'm mostly saying it as a joke because.

I don't like hearing you say the end of Poog.

Well, AT's the end of this season.

Okay. I can tolerate that. I can manage that.

And I think it should always be seasonal, as I've said, so that there could be a reckoning, there can always be a reckoning. Nothing is promised. You had a story. Oh well, I just something.

That was really I felt kind of like job, although not nearly as punished, of course.

But I.

Had a parking ticket.

I am oh, right, same day I got one. Remember, Oh that's right.

So I you know, I really don't get tickets. Okay, I've been driving since I was thirteen, just really don't get them. I was I was driving to a particular location to read and to write and to focus and have a nice little time. This was the Prilo sec day. My stomach was killing me, and I was like, my stomach is hurting me so badly. I need to go home and lay down. Like I can't just be in the public space like sitting and working through it and perhaps chatting with people and being friendly.

I hate hell.

I was like, I want to curl up and I go and I want I'm hungry. I don't have the energy. I was like, what I'm going to do is I'm going to order delivery. And then I said to myself, do not just pick up food?

But I said, good girl, because that's some special treat shit in your mind. Yeah, I take whenever it.

Oh, by the way, I said, pick it up. You can pick it up. It's on the way, just pick it up.

So there's a spot save the fee cheap. Oh yeah, exactly. They're fucked in the end well beyond.

So there's a little red spot by this place. I often park my car there. Turn the hazards on, run in, grab the food, come out. I've never had an issue of done this a million times. Throw the hazards on, run in, run into a friend inside, quick chat. I'm not sitting down. It wasn't five minutes.

I holding in your head. Did you feel it pulling on you? Yeah, you didn't. Brief from the chat.

Brief chat, brief chat, not five minutes. But I said to her, you know what, I'm going to run, move my car. I'll come back in and say hi, I run out. This guy's riding me up. I go, oh no, he goes. He's very he says, stomach ache. Well I thought about going what can I reach for here? And I go nothing. I just have to take it, you know. And he said he was very kind of you know, looking down, he was like, he was fun. He was like, you're parked in a red zone. I said, I know,

I felt.

I didn't say, oh, no, is there any oh I just went in for a second.

I didn't do any of that. I just said, I know.

I said, I know, I'm not supposed to park here.

I know. And then once I think ownership.

And then because I go, I'm so fucked with my registrate. My car registration Jacqueline is over a year expired.

What that's it? Did he check you so? So? So he goes, I'm not. I'm not, by the way, my shock is not at that happening. I would never manage my own registration if not, like various figures stepped into to remind me and then have to do it. I just mean, like, I'm terrible. Aren't thinking to ask you for your registration and then you can get a bigger ticket.

So he goes, and your registration's expired, And I said, I know, that's what I freaked when I saw I'm writing the ticket of I was like, I'm so fucked. It's gonna be so expensive. I was like, I know, I know. I did this mog check, which is the truth, and I was like, I believe that. I was like if the DMV, I didn't know at this point, by the way, because of just the inability to handle administration at all.

Yeah, I didn't know that. Whatever.

I mean, people are running around just every year getting their car registered.

It's every day. It's fucking every day. Cy today, today, I get my teeth cleaned, tomorrow, get my oil checked. It's all maintenance tasks which are challenging.

For it.

I cannot brain style fathom it. Hunters in a world of farmers, I cannot fathom it. I'm like, I hope you enjoyed your golden goose who teaches you this. It's like got at home. So I'm like, I know, I know.

I said, I went to the I got my smog check, like it should be in the mail, and he goes the DMV can toe you if it's over six months past registration.

Suggest Towing was a huge part of my life. I had to just accept. In New York, there was just too many factors, and so we get headed down the middle of the night to the West Side Highway wherever the hell that is unbelievable fourteenth Street. You're waiting there, you look around, it's a you know, it's Beckett.

It's you constantly getting your card. Toote is so poetic. But so I was like, oh no, and I said, I said, oh, they can toe it, and he goes, they can tow it anywhere, which is a little confusing to me, Like what do you mean they can tow it anywhere?

And so that I mean as in where it's led or where it's towed from.

Then like wherever it's parked, they can technically toe it if it's that oh late on registration problem.

So I was like, oh right.

I don't think I even said I'm sorry. I mean, I was clearly sorry, but I just was like I was so desponding because my stomach hurt and I was so mad at myself, and I was like, okay, and he handed me the ticket. This is what I don't understand. I think he let me off the hook, or he definitely did. I think he could have charged me more, but I just got the violation apart for the parking violation, which I don't know. Is the registration ticket coming later.

I go in.

I very make a point chatting with her hang out. I go, okay, I gotta go out this time because the meter is gonna be up. No, I fucking get to my car. It's been off a minute. There's another ticket.

Amazing. And it was weird.

As I was sauntering to my car, I saw a parking cop or whatever the hell they're called, walking toward me, and I could have sworn he looked at me in this way. It was strange. I felt like he knew it was my car. I felt like he'd just given me a ticket. Oh, somehow, I'm sure on his little computer it shows, oh, this car got a ticket twenty minutes ago, half a block away.

For someone with bouncy hair.

And then I pictured a picture a town I pictured, Uh, there's a description or something or a photo of me, presumably topless to my home. When I don't think I'm being photographed. The government has it me on all fours. Because he looked at me like this fucking idiot, like I or something, And there was.

Just something in his eyes like the previous citation, like I felt like he knew.

And then I'd go to my car, and at first I go, oh, I don't have a ticket, and then there it is the ticket, and I go, you fucking cunt. So I started screaming, and I actually was not screaming at all. I just was like, this is unbelievable. I should have just gone straight.

Home, texting, hm, you were wildly texting. I texted you, yes, how you couldn't pay it because and I had just gone through.

Oh no, no, no, before I haven't even gotten into that part. So then I drive home. Stomach's still hurting, so upset, I go, I'm paying this right now. Old me would put this in a pile and go, I'll get to it.

I did the same thing. I said, I'm doing it now.

That's crazy.

So they go it will hurt less now, yeah.

And I go, this is your punishment, do it now. So on the ticket there's little QR code. Oh how simple. Scan the QR code to pay. I scanned the QR code, sends me to an app to download.

I almost fly. I did the same exact thing. This is crazy within the same hour.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. So I go, okay, I download the app and goes.

First time fucked us. It wasn't an amex that was my issue. They don't know. Well, I enter in my credit card.

It goes invalid and there I pause. I go, I'm gonna fucking lose it. I was like, it's not invalid. I sot to do it again. Oh, maybe I missed a number. Maybe invalid. I go, are you fucking kidding? I go, okay, I'll go to the website. Go to the website that's from nineteen oh four, I know, and you have to slick and it's so confusing.

Click this, click that.

I mean, this is unbelievable, I go, I go, But if I had what if I had a child tugging at the hem of my dress, what if I had a family emergency, what if I had what if?

I I mean, it's like, how does anyone get this done? So?

So then there's the website from the forties. I'm typing in the information invalid. I fucking And then I start doing outreach. I text, I text name.

And by the way, you don't you just you don't go. I'm gonna try to get help from one Now I'm gonna spray. I'm gonna need it.

I needed too, hay, I needed one person on each side of me, saying I love you, You're safe, We're gonna get through this or something. I just needed to I just needed to express the pain. I wasn't even expecting help. What help could there even be offered in that moment. I just needed there to be some kind of emotional witness to my suffering in that moment.

But you, and this is again reading add stuff again. So it's like, but the mental energy to initiate motivation whatever, don't you mean to do the task? You like pulled some you did it, and then you hit this block and you are less able to generate energy to overcome that block, and so really has to hear.

So then so then I go, I'm gonna do it. Okay, so they go or you can call.

Oh no, no no.

So at that point I go, something wrong with my fucking credit card. I called it, ok oh, this is where I lost it. I called Bank of America on the back and the number it's on the back of the card, I call it HI, like bank of America. The little thing goes up and it goes this this fucking bot that's so well disguised. I thought it was I thought it was a person. Is like thanks for being entrusted whatever because you called today, you qualify for a free life alert like pause.

I go, oh, I don't.

I don't need that, like I I it fooled me for long enough. And then then she starts rattling on about the life alert like and I start going.

No, no, yeah, And then.

I can't figure out and it's like I start pressing zero.

I get sent to someone else operator. They just leave Britain. Try zero. Sometimes I did zero. They just left me.

Bank of America left me, and I am happy to say that, I'm proudly I.

Left you let the life alert. They hang up on you get that. Sorry we don't understand. Yeah, goodbye, literally yeah goodbye.

They left me. I know it was so cheerful. At the end, I call back again, same bitch that now I know it is a bot, and I go no, and I go agent, Agent, Agent Agent. She's still so rattling on, prattling on about the fucking life alert blanket, I mean bracelet, and I get kicked out again. Then I'm really losing it. I'm shaking it in the cold. I'm shaking in the cold. I go, are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do? So then I call another Bank of America number. Wait, four hundred and sixty

No, I'm sitting I'm sitting in my dining room. Oh, and I go home to do it.

Okay, Yeah, dining room suggests I have a standalone dining room.

I don't.

I'm standing in my formal dining room. And it was so okay. So this is that I'm talking to the fucking woman right, And she goes, oh, we sent out. I see that you made a I go, my car. Is my card lock? She goes, your card is locked? Oh no, no, I skipped a step. Sorry, just real quick. Went to the Bank of America website. Looked at the card. It goes card locked. I try to unlock it. It says view like why it's locked. I click that that information it's unavailable this time.

Can you imagine? Can you fucking imagine?

I go what?

And this is when you start cursing and someone asks you what's wrong, and you go the websites whatever, and like they just think you're having trouble navigating the website. They think all these so exactly, and you're like, no, the layers system is like, can never explain this. It is fucked. It's fucked.

I've done everything.

Right invalid you know, like no, no, you've done the thing ninety times. Yeah, or unfortunately this service is not available right now after you've done ninety two?

Is it not available?

So then I call I'm on hold, I get to make America. I get to the woman.

I go, Hi, I don't know what's going with my card. Can you please help me? I'm like desperate. She like takes pity on me. She's like, okay, I'm so sorry. Sounds stressful.

I take you know.

I'm like like, I think I sound like a child. And then she's like, oh.

Did you make a payment to la parking dot com something? I go yes.

She goes, yes, we thought that might be suspicious. Did you get a text? I said no, I didn't because guess what, guys throw all of this verizons down so the text was blocked.

I go, I never got that that was actually what screwed you. Oh I think I remember you being like verizons down with that text coming through.

So then she goes she lifts it. She goes, okay, should all be fine now? I go, okay, thank you. I go to the I go to the website. It has nothing to do with you, to be clear, nothing to do with me. I go to the website invalid again. And that's by it had been an hour and like ten minutes.

Is it a visa or a MasterCard? It's a visa because that's what it required. It was a visa.

Okay, somehow, I don't know what happened, but the point is it was hell. And I've never I felt so acutely where I felt like the sliding doors of my life. Like if I had driven home and just had the food delivered, fuck it, I would have eaten the food. I'd be curled up on the couch in heaven.

Cheapness, I know your cheapness okay, brought lack lack lack upon you the way like in this modern time we've accepted these this this very like archaic language almost of like lack yeah, like that's a scarcity like or like or like you're living in lack yeah yeah, like just like the language. And then the word manifest itself is

Why didn't I just you know, get the delivery?

You mean, yeah, yeah, there's something in you that believes like then you'll be struck down. Then No, I don't know.

I guess I'm just a stir It's like it feels like, oh.

Maybe you're just prudent, you know.

I don't know, but it was. It was unbelievable and it almost ruined the day. I mean I felt and I was like, how do people I mean it really, I'm sorry, but it just it makes you go, how the fuck do people that actually have to engage with the government in a real way? Forums files?

Can you imagine?

I mean, it's just like my life wasn't dependent on this. My wellness wasn't, you know, like I'm just like the health mon thing with insurance.

I was just like, this is I felt.

I was like, it's so fucking impossible, so overwhelming, just to pay a parking ticket. How does I don't know. It felt it made me really it felt really overwhelming.

Well, but I started to go I can't take it anymore. The only option for me is a big building with offices, and I'm the boss of the business of me. Okay, yep, And every fucking project I have an idea and want to see move forward, there is someone in an office looking after that project. You buy a building, I'm I'm done. It's it's like I'm meant to be a creative tyrant floating through. I won't actually be a tyrant. That's just a little joke I'll make you know, just to be cute.

I'm saying, Okay, I had a fucking revelation last night. I was, yeah, screaming, but I believe it's true.

Listen to this, the.

Three day work week.

Okay, okay, so this so I three on four off.

No, here's what Here's I'm gonna try this for the next two weeks because listen, I've been this is this is of course this life that I lead lately, been feeling, you know, being totally disorganized, feeling kind of overwhelmed. How do you know the mounting the list of what to do, the personal projects, all of it. Because so because looking out a week, going, okay, I gotta finish it this week. I gotta do it this week. I gotta start this week. I gotta this week write X pages whatever fucking hell,

Wednesday and on the beach mm hmm okay, and then Wednesday goes and you're lying on the beach and you go, you know, if tomorrow being my remaining work day for the week, what is the key thing that I'm going to achieve so that I can go out of this larger personal week feeling accomplished.

Yeah, so the idea, the idea would be on those alleged off days. Okay, what's the personal stuff that I'm doing?

Oh wait, so you're you're still right, it's not You're not just on the beach. You're you're getting your oil changed.

Yeah, maybe I'm getting my own.

Do you think about the yearly in the six months? Okay, we schedule it, we schedule it together. Okay, but yes, and it's doctor's appointments, it's all the ship that's yearly, all at once. You're getting your oil change on the way to your yearly physical.

I love this Jacqueline Crazy week. Went's a year is crazy week.

Wait, I want to call it something else. We name it crazy week because that's just not give me joy. Okay, okay, it's I just think, well, here's the here's the trick. We get the appointment, we get the appointment, and.

You have to schedule out. When I had my stomach ache, I was panicking. I texted my doctor. She's like, this is a good I can't even imagine having a doctor gastro person personal number.

I know.

I'm fucking lucky. I texted the doctor or the doctor is like, yeah, her next availab appointment is February eleventh.

It's not bad.

Are you serious anyway? I mean just goes you know what that's going to be colonoscopy. Baby, I know it's coming really. Oh yeah, because yeah, I kind of want to go on anyway, and I'm young to get it.

Well yeah, no, it'll be great, doctor.

I don't want to go under the doctor. What my ears perka.

Doctor bid our gut health guy said what remember hay team. Oh yeah, but he's like he's like, I like cheated. He's a doctor. Like he's like, I like like cheated the insurance so I can get it at thirty or something like instead of forty or whatever it's supposed to be.

Yeah, or forty instead of fifty. Luring it, but luring the age due to horrifying cameras.

What's that eusephoria? I'm not sure what it's doing.

You know what I'm really going through so hard? Snail musin in the spray bottle from Cross r.

X, Well, it's one of the things that you'll just I mean, I'm never not like out of snail musin. I mean it works for everything. M I think can you lima with that? I mean I I of course, yeah, I mean I lema dry as you know you seem to because I don't drag still. I leave it in your spot for a three minute treatment, Yeah, treat. Do you feel that wrapping up energy? Yeah, I kind of testing.

Let me bring it back.

Do you feel do you feel the energy of wrapping up?

Yeah?

Fifteen years.

No, I can't and I refuse it's too upsetting.

Ring when they're like the dirty Dancing's like, I don't know how much long is is gonna be around. I remember.

One thing I was going to say, Halloween coming up and kind of because last time at your house, you usually do Halloween decorations, but yours aren't up yet. I couldn't help.

But notice, did you see the pumpkin. There was a small one. I put that out by the door for you. Damn I didn't. I got a minute. I grab it.

That's really cute. I missed it. I got kind of excited, going, oh my god, this is I think. I'm apparently there's trick or treaders in the neighborhood, and I go, I want to do that. By the way, I want to formally invite you, yeah, to come over on Halloween if you'd like to feed trick or treaders and have a drink.

Feed them Thursday night, which is the true You know you don't. I think it's a Thursday, but you don't fuck around it. It's Halloween night, is when it's celebrated.

Oh yeah, you don't.

Fuck I'll go to a party, sure, but.

You know what I mean, No, no, come, I actually I bristle at the Halloween party. I don't one day. Sure, I'll dress up Heidi Klumb style, but I don't. It's strange. I just don't. I'm so much more excited by the idea of trigger treaters and I am going to a party.

Yeah, well I wanted to do. Remember I didn't I say it on this podcast my scary movies. Plus, remember I was gonna I was gonna throw a party here where there's scary movies going all night, there's whatever, delicious foods and and and drinks, and then we're interrupted by trick or treaters throughout. So it's interesting that you use.

Well, that's kind of that's that's what I'm gonna do.

All right, Well, think about whether I say no, I'm having it. I'll go back to the previous episodes and look, So just just to remind everyone, link in bio on Instagram you can still go to it via the website, I mean via the Instagram website. A website, folks, Yeah, so like you.

Know, do we have a website? This poo have a website? Always wonder don't we?

We we have we have pooh glab dot com. And then I've secured two other domains. But again, but we'll have updates. Might no longer be named that are under our usage?

Will don't you say that?

We'll have that. We'll have that though what poo glab dot com. We'll have a link there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so so you know, text your HAG friends, get amped, get amped and recognize that a VIP future is coming, as well as a continuity feature of continued free experiences of with us conversation with others others, I mean us. Well, yeah, I was trying to open up the show concept. Oh you're right, right right, it's us.

And I'm actually getting a little upset right now because i feel like I'm not really into this.

I'm kind of negativity.

No, it's not negative. I'm getting I'm getting emotional at the idea that this is the last Pool episode. It's not true.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just one of these like, you know, fools who's like see you later, Timmy, like you know, knowing it's death. But but I don't really I think this is this is a.

I needed a rupture.

Yeah, okay, lincombined, I think this is an invigoration.

And listen, we're not taking time off. Okay, see you next week.

Yeah, see you next week wherever the hell we land you next week. We love you, adoptions, we love you to support us via bones. That is real. This lifeboat might not. I mean, we need we need your sport hear it.

We need great to board desperately. Let me feel your support.

Warm up your wallets, make sure your wallets are ready to the leather is softened and they open with ease.

Absolutely. Okay, We'll see you next week, see you somewhere, love.

You, love you bye bye. Okay. Fall banned, mhm sall banned. That was Poog.

If you enjoyed Poog, please subscribe, rate and review.

If not, we will press charges. Poog is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts. Created and hosted by Kate Berlan and Jacqueline Novak.

Executive produced by Libra.

Smith, edited and mixed by Ali Graham. Music by Theta Hammel, artwork by Robert Batty. Follow Poog on Instagram at Poog podcast or on TikTok at this is Poog.