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This week, we are recording live from Bailey Downs discussing the 2015 horror anthology, A Christmas Horror Story. This film was directed by Grant Harvey, Stephen Hoban, and Brett Sullivan, and written by James Key, Sarah Larson, Doug Taylor, and Pascal Trottier.
A Christmas Horror Story blends the creator's love of classic Christmas movies and horror anthologies. This film tells its story ambitiously, balancing several sub-genres and conflicting tones with compelling creature design, intriguing... interwoven tales and haunting holiday cheer. A Christmas Horror Story is a modern seasonal favorite among many horror fans.
This film was suggested to us by friend of the show, Katie face. And we want to thank Katie face for all of the support as well as this suggestion. So what did you guys think of a Christmas horror story the first time you saw it? I want to start by saying I did not know how old this movie was. I just remember watching it with the kids one year in the living room on Hulu.
and i was like oh man that was a crazy movie i was like that you know i was just like oh that's a silly christmas movie whatever uh i might have been in and out of it you know what i mean having the kids running around with them and whatever i just remember that we did watching in the living room uh i know that you caught some of it one time with us babe when we watched it
But watching it for the show and actually sitting down and being able to just like watch it from beginning to end. I really, really enjoyed this movie and I don't know how. I don't know. Is it safe to say any of us have even really heard about it before or maybe seen it once or twice? I think it's really only just been once or twice. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Because I don't remember before watching it randomly ever. even hearing about it or anything.
yeah like not nobody telling you hey you got to watch this not at all and even like forgetting about it and us leading up to watching it before we got the one request nothing the shade saying like that because again I enjoyed this movie but it is it does seem like under the radar yeah yeah come to think of it I really don't even know the first time that I did watch it okay I
thought maybe nay and i watched it back when we had our movie tuesdays right right but i'm really not sure at all yeah i don't remember like i'll the only thing frankly and understandably if you've seen the film the only thing that I really remember and took away from it well there's two things one of them Is Bill Shatner. Of course. The other one is the ending. Yes. These two things stuck with me for good reason.
And I would say still rewatching it now to cover it for the show. These are probably my two favorite things about the movie. Okay. And I swear to God, everything that William Shatner does in this film is.
pitch perfect yeah oh no yeah and he is cracking me up the entire time i love his little cutaways and his segments that he has yeah i honestly i wouldn't mind more of them frankly yeah yeah but the ending is such a shock and off mic nay use the perfect word it recontextualizes everything about that particular segment that came before it yeah and it's honestly a segment that i did not even like until the ending okay
And so I will say there are a few things that I do enjoy about this film. I have listed those two. I also think that the performances are pretty good. They're pretty committed. I like the visuals of some of the creatures. Really just the virtue of the fact that it is an anthology.
Yeah. I think all three of us at this table are kind of suckers for anthologies. Oh yeah. Love them a lot. I think my major difficulty with this film is that, and it is a thing that plagues a lot of anthologies, uneven. stories okay where some are just clearly head and shoulders above the others right and honestly one for me i would cut completely and i don't think the film would be worse for it okay but i i think that
I really wanted more interplay between the stories. Right. I've seen a lot of people online compare this to like a trick or treat, but Christmas. Okay. Okay, yeah. And I think that's a fair comparison. Yeah. But I just, and it's not a fair comparison to say, oh, I should have done it more like Trick or Treat did. No, yeah. I think it would have been really cool to have more interplay between the stories like Trick or Treat did.
And I also think that there is something I don't really think I'm a fan of regarding the way that the stories are told. Okay. The way we dip in and out of them. I think that it makes sense that we have to do it this way because this is like one night and it's the progression of that night. Right. And it's important to do that. But I also feel like there are a lot of moments that are just really like.
Very strange and bold in one story and then we go to the next story and it's like, oh, we're back here.
okay because we just saw some shit yeah and we kind of need to get to the bottom of that and say oh we got like three more stories and then we'll be back we will be back just wait yeah be patient no and so maybe a more traditional anthology format would have worked better and this with these stories for me okay and you can still have like we're doing with Shatner and his role almost like the little go-betweens
Like just be the frame. Yeah. I think that would have worked better and lead it to the ending that we eventually get. I think a format switch would have benefited this film for me because the pacing of it to me suffers because of the way that it's presented. Okay. I think that I had seen this one time before.
And I remember thinking, oh, that was pretty good. And then never thinking about it again. And so when we were filling out the schedule, we wanted to do a Christmas horror movie and just kind of stumbled upon. all agreeing on this one we thought it would be a fun revisit william shatner obviously you know we just i in my mind i'm like okay this is gonna be silly it's gonna be quick it's gonna be fun It's going to be cheesy. And so revisiting it, it's a lot less cheese.
Like you were saying to the performances are really good. Yeah. Most of these stories are very well thought out. Like I just I thought that it would be a little more camp and cheese. But I was like, no, this is like. It's not, you know? It was kind of, and I love Camp and Cheese, but it was a pleasant surprise to get what we got here, specifically that ending, which I am so grateful I did not remember.
I was actually... not complaining but a little bit complaining about something before i got there and thankfully john paul was just poker face and like oh yeah no i can yeah i can see that whatever um but we'll talk about that more later i i just think that this is a lot of fun I know what segment T does not work for you. I don't dislike it, but I will unpack my semi issues with it when we get there.
I think that that most of these, like I said, are very developed and very just fun. We were talking off mic that nothing here is particularly scary, but it's just a good time. Like we watch Krampus. around Christmas time every year. Christmas Horror Story will be in that rotation for me now. It's just fun. It's Christmas.
you know William Shatner being fucking hilarious I it just really worked for me in a way that if I had appreciated it this much the first time I saw it it would have stuck with me and it did not stick with me and i don't know why yeah but i i have a whole new appreciation for it i think it is a fucking blast i really really had a good time with this one
I did want to talk about production, of course, before we jump in. I read a lot of interviews and I got information from The Daily Dead, Fangoria, Sci-Fi and TV Talk, and Chud. Very good. So one of the producers and directors, Steve Hoban, was also a producer on the 2006 Black Christmas remake. Ah. So it came out after the Christmas movie season. And he felt that if the timing had been better, it would have been better received. I haven't seen it.
Yeah. And it's funny because we almost covered that and we did this instead. That is true. I think there is more than the release date that has to be fixed. But it's a beloved Halloween. It's a beloved holiday remake by a lot of people. So I will say that. Yeah.
So he saw it as a missed opportunity and every Christmas season was kind of a sting reminding him of that. So in 2013, when the ads for Christmas movies started up again, he decided it was time to do something about it now. And he wanted it.
shot immediately during the winter and he knew that there wasn't time for a full script so instead of one longer story he decided on several short ones that meant the writers could all be working at the same time He said that he was inspired by It's a Wonderful Life, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Christmas Story, of course, and Gremlins, but also by Creepshow and the movie that he says you don't realize it's an anthology because of the way that it's told, but it is an anthology.
Pulp fiction. Yes. that's interesting he said i want to make an anthology but i want to do it pulp fiction style not the traditional anthology style you know that style that tarantino did for pulp fiction was inspired by mario bava's black sabbath wow And we're back. And we're back.
But he approached writers that he had worked with on the show Darknet, and he only had a few parameters. The stories all had to be both scary and fun. They all had to take place in Bailey Downs. They all had to be of a different... subgenre and they had to be able to weave in and out of each other he contacted the writers in mid-november and they had a rough draft right before christmas oh wow that is fucking insane
So they shot it in Toronto in winter in 22 days. Good Lord. 22 days. Yeah. Which I think is very impressive because there's a lot of shit that goes on. There's a lot and set pieces and creature. They had worked very hard to make sure that every single story had the same amount of time given to it, that you weren't away from one story any longer than another. Like when they were laying out the.
kind of the format of the story they worked meticulously to make sure everything was even and then after the film was shot they were like this pacing is garbage this is terrible so while they were editing they had to rebalance the entire thing to make it make more sense flow-wise rather than what's fair, who's getting, you know what I mean? And I know maybe it didn't work for everybody, but I think they did a pretty good job. No, yeah. They, you know.
Pulp Fiction here? Pulp Fiction! Very good, very good. Now, before we deck this film's halls, we would like to show a warning for spoilers. Podmortem is a very in-depth podcast, and in thoroughly discussing horror films, we have no choice but to spoil a thing or two. If you don't wish to be spoiled, please go watch the film, then come back.
and enjoy the show if you've already seen the film or don't care about spoilers then let's tune in over the production vanity plates we hear caroling I just have to say something okay Real quick. And I will start by saying that... This is one of my least favorite Christmas carols. Okay. I don't even know what it's called, frankly. It's Christmas Eve. Oh, do better. It's not a good. We'll press on.
What I do want to say is that what the composer does with this song. I love the way that it just becomes more and more. orchestral yeah and menacing there's a combination of notes i feel that are just meant to make you feel tense and scared right and there comes a point where we get the opening title and it's reached a crescendo that i'm like all right that's enough of that
Are you scared? I'm alone in here. I don't need to be doing this. It's really good. It's really good. There's like this just fullness and richness to the sound and the way that it kind of.
like you were saying devolves into something like it starts so pure and dips down into something very dark i was like god damn yeah like i was already impressed from this yeah and the visuals that accompanies them perfectly yeah i did want to i looked up i wanted to see what else this composer had done it was a composer by the name of alex kaskin and just the list of things it is
Additional music credited on shows, everything from Bizarre Foods to Workaholics. Okay. Like a ridiculous amount of credits. So bizarre. Yeah. Maybe he did that. I don't know. But. He did work on Ginger Snaps Back, the beginning. Okay. And additional music for Hell House LLC. Yeah. But great work here. I love it even more. But as it's Christmas Eve.
Rings out in joyous clarity. We ascend up into blackness where snow flurries fall. We close in on one. It's intricate design looking cold and metallic as it glides among the others before it slips away. We follow other snowflakes, their designs unfolding in front of us as the caroling continues. But suddenly, one of them becomes stained with blood.
We follow this one as it flips and flutters through the darkness. It glides across something horned and pointed, and an ominous choir joins the priorly peaceful caroling. The snowflake hovers over a cross, but our perspective flips, making the cross upside down until we lose focus on it. The choir evolves into a dark chanting, but we continue our journey until we flip to the title. A Christmas Horror Story. And apparently T shits his pants. That's a bit far. I did cry. It's terrifying. It is.
One thing I will say that I did not know and I was pretty surprised to see in the opening credits. It says executive producer David Hader. And you might recognize that name because this man is the voice of Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid. What the hell? Yeah, I was like, really? And I went to look and it's the same David Hayter. All right. I would love to know the story behind that. Yeah, me too.
But the snowflake slaps into the title and brewing it in a dark red, which quickly spreads to completely take over the words. The music rises as the title sinks into the darkness. When we come back, the earnest caroling resumes and we glide over snowy, jagged mountains to a palatial structure nestled into the rock. Text on screen reads, Christmas Eve.
I really appreciated the sound design of this sequence. When we're whipping past the flags. Yeah. And you hear like they were in the sound of the wind. I was like, this is actually really good work. We're doing this. I was not expecting any of this. But we descend on it through wooden doors banging in the harsh wind and inside where someone in a fur-lined red cloak and long white hair walks with a staff.
As the top of the staff marks his every step, he strolls past stables, remarking for Blitzen to be easy and musing over his old friend, Comet. Comet the reindeer gazes back at him from behind the bars, exhaling warm fog into the cold air. The tip of the staff is an intricate design that I think we did flutter by as a snowflake. and it seems to be splattered with blood. The man sets his staff down and continues forward, only to pause dramatically.
He turns and we finally see Santa, played by George Booza, a long scar marring the center of his face, tracing from across his forehead to the cheek above his white beard. The scar is fresh. and bloodstains his determined face and the ends of his pale hair. I had a couple of thoughts here. One thing was to begin with Santa Claus was pretty wild. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty bold. And him walking through the stables and doing this like reindeer headcount.
Yeah. Like this inventory. I did not expect them to turn around and be wounded. No. And so to see that was kind of shocking as well. But I just want to give just. A bit of a round of applause for this dude because his performance in this film is really, really good. Yeah. I think Santa needs help. I think you might. George Booza, though. This man.
voiced Beast on X-Men, the animated series. Really? That's amazing. He's great. Yeah. I read in those interviews that he was their first and only choice to play Santa. But some of the execs at E1, the production company, offered them more money to get a bigger name. Because with somebody else, quote unquote, big, plus William Shatner, it would be more of a draw. Okay. So they said they were disappointed, but they tried and they simply didn't have.
time to get anybody else so they got what they wanted they got to use George Booza and Hoban said that he was a blast to work with he was down for anything and we see I'm not giving anything away, but Santa does get a little physical after a certain point. And they said he did most of that. Oh, wow. He was just game. He was reindeer game. Yes. but Santa sighs as the doors to the stable continue to bang in the wind behind him and after consulting his pocket watch he decides it's time
He picks up the whip from his carriage, keeping his gaze on the banging doors, but he promptly sets the whip down and picks up an axe. The reindeer begin to sound off uneasily, but Santa demands to know, who's there? He approaches the door as the reindeer cry out, but suddenly the doors burst open, letting in a white, blinding light. Santa groans and shields his face as the white takes over everything.
And when it fades away, we are hovering above a snow-dusted town. Text on screen informs us 12 hours earlier. As church bells ring, we hear the voice of a radio DJ announcing to the town, Merry Christmas, Bailey Downs. So Hoban said that they were torn between using Bailey Downs from Ginger Snaps because he was a producer on Ginger Snaps. I was going to say it sounded familiar. Yeah. Or using Bedford Falls from It's a Wonderful Life. Oh. And Hoban.
said that his own ego won out and he was like no we gotta do bailey i feel like it would be pretty bold to use the town from it's a wonderful life yeah that's a lot dude the right choice yeah plus shatner says it really funny yeah it cracks me up dude But he announces that it's Christmas Eve, the most wonderful time of the year. And to illustrate this, we see streetlights adorned with frosted red bows, shop windows decorated with plush snowmen, and mall Christmas trees.
immaculately decorated and brightly lit there's a lot of holiday stock footage going on here yeah but it's setting the tone yes but in the studio Dangerous Dan, played by William Shatner, sits behind the booth. The glass partition decorated with tinsel and Christmas lights. With the Santa Claus snow globe in front of him, he lets his listeners in on a little secret. He loves Christmas. There, he said it. He said it and he doesn't care who knows it.
In a cadence that only he can. It's the Priceline guy. Yeah. Among. For you younger viewers. Yeah. I, what a pleasant surprise he is. Yeah. Yeah. And it's sometimes it does. It takes somebody being cast in this kind of a role to realize how good of a voice they have for radio. Yeah. Like I was rewatching the fog with jewels and I was like, Adrian Barbeau is a fan.
Fantastic. And watching this, I was like, dude, Shatner should do some. Yeah. I'll listen to a Shatner audiobook. Oh, yeah. Definitely. In one of those interviews, they said that they made a list of actors that they all loved, regardless of age or gender. And William Shatner was at the top of the list. They had worked with a visual effects artist named Bob Monroe. because Hoban also produced Splice. Oh, wow. And he was the visual effects artist on Splice.
But they were telling Monroe about their list and he was like, I know William Shatner. He was like, I can send this to him and see if he's interested. So he does. And Shatner ends up loving it. Monroe said that he has. sent Shatner somewhere between 15 and 20 projects and including a Christmas horror story he said yes to three of them oh wow and Hoban also said that all of his everything is scripted
But the way that he delivers it, it feels like he's just in there ad-libbing the entire time. Yeah. And it really does. It really does. That was kind of what I was going to say is it does feel like he's just off the dome coming up with stuff. Yeah. Especially later whenever it's just like it just feels like riffing. Yes. That's what I would have took from it. Honestly, if you would have told me, you know, that he did his own line to you, whatever.
I believe it. Yeah, because I read a lot of interviews. And so, of course, a lot of the same questions get asked again and again. But a recurring question was, how much of that was scripted and how much of that was just Shatner? And he was like, no, it was scripted. He's just so talented and charismatic. and the way that he delivers it, it's like it's just coming out of his mouth.
But he continues on his Christmas tirade. He loves tinsel, Santa Claus, cranberries, and baby Jesus. He does amend, though, that that's before he went all hippie with the sandals and the long hair. That's what are we doing? What? I don't know. But already you're like, we've known him for 30 seconds and this is a fucking character. Yeah. Calm down, Ricky Bobby. Only baby G. Yeah.
His headphones sit abandoned on the desk in front of him. And when a small voice squeaks out from them, he holds them to his ear, adamant that he is going to talk about Jesus on the radio, Susan, because it's his birthday tomorrow. He asks his listeners if he's right before reminding them of the big charity food drive at the mall this afternoon. Their very own weatherman, Storm and Norman, will be there helping out like the Christmas angel that he is.
He looks off screen expectantly before mouthing for someone to chime in. When no one does, he asks Norman on mic if it's true that a special guest will be making an appearance at the food drive. But we see Storm and Norman now on the other side. of the glass turned away from Dan when he still doesn't answer Dan chuckles that Norman is writing him a little Christmas card he muses that this is exciting but Norman slams his note against the glass of the recording booth written
in angry red letters across his notepad. Fuck Christmas. Oh. So we've got differing views at this station. A little bit. And I will say, Dan never tells us what was written on the thing, so the listeners are just in suspense this whole time. Dan is taken aback by this and he even pulls his glasses off as he remarks, wow, Norman. He asks if Susan saw that before telling Norman, who definitely did see it, Jesus. And his dad, he saw it too.
Norman leaves without a word and Dan goes back into host mode, declaring that Norman is hitting the trails so they'll just have to get the party started without him. A coffee mug with a Santa-clad squirrel sitting next to a wrapped present is in front of him. And I'm not familiar with Darknet, but I guess this character was a nod to Darknet, the character on the mug, which is pretty cool.
Dan promises that they're going to share the spirit and deck some halls. He takes out some eggnog and liquor. And looking off, he promises to get Susan under the mistletoe. He promises the little elves listening that they're going to listen now to one. of his favorite songs before he starts the record he declares here's to the season and here's to you Bailey down he kisses his hand and places it on the Santa snow globe
As mellow Christmas music fills the booth and the listeners ears. He vows to get this Christmas party started right and begins to pour eggnog into his mug. This may be. naive or maybe even a little innocent of me but did you know people put alcohol in eggnog i didn't for a very long time okay i found that out in the last handful of years i think because i've just been enjoying the eggnog
I think mostly it's drunk with alcohol. See, this is... That's what I was going to say. I was the other way. I didn't know that it was a non-alcoholic drink. Really? He's like, what the hell are you doing? He's like, wait, don't drink again. Because you all... I always see adults drinking. They're like, yeah, the season, whatever. And it's like, oh, you guys are just getting fucked up. Oh, yeah. They really like that. I love eggnog. Me too. Just as it is. I wonder what it's like.
What do we even put in there? I don't know. I was looking it up last night and somebody had said peppermint schnapps. Oh. But I mean, I don't, again, this is all new to me. And I think he's just putting whiskey in it. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know, man. I don't either. But the music plays through a car speakers until Molly, played by Zoe de Grande Maison, reaches out and turns it off.
She sits in the passenger seat, while Dylan, played by Shannon Cook, sits in the driver's seat, and Ben, played by Alex Ozorov-Meyer, sits behind them. I knew that I recognized Shannon Cook and I just confirmed it. He's Drew in The Conjuring. Oh! My God. Oh, okay. It took me a minute, but I'm like that. Yeah. That's the same dude. Knowing it, it's 1000% in. Yeah.
But Molly tells Dylan that his girlfriend is late and looking down at his camera, Dylan quips that that's impossible. They use protection. Molly and Ben are both mildly amused, but Molly presses forward. She tells her friends that she made the mistake of watching this alone last night before quickly reminding them that no one can know that she has this. Ben and Dylan nod their agreement and Molly flips the cover off of her iPad and hits play.
On the screen is surveillance footage from the Bailey Downs Police Department. The officer we follow informs us that it's December 25th at 1326 hours. When he introduces himself as Constable Scott Peters, played by Adrian Holmes, Molly shares that she used to babysit his son, Will. I did also notice the walkthrough number that's listed at the bottom. It's number 96, 96. It's like, grow up. Grow up. I know what you're doing. Just because it's backwards doesn't mean I don't catch on to your game.
The police station is dark, but with the help of the beam from the constable's flashlight, he spots smeared bloody handprints on the wall. He steps into a room where two small beds are presided over by a barred window, flanked by a crucif- on both sides of the wall. The constable comments that there's a lot of blood in here and he pans down from the disarrayed beds to show it, a large smear dragged from one of the beds.
And he follows it to find a teenager suspended onto the wall, sprawled in a crucifixion pose, a pool of blood on the floor beneath him. His arms are stretched out to either side, leaving trails of blood creeping down. wall beneath them Scott identifies the victim as a Caucasian male in his late teens possibly a student
His light still focused on the body, he zooms in. The boy's hair is matted with blood and his face is smashed against the wall, but it's giving us a clear view of the fact that his visible ear has been ripped off. Scott comments that the body was obviously staged suggesting a ritualistic killing but that the cause of death will be determined at autopsy. Ben glances at Molly nervously, but when her gaze is securely fixed on the screen, he returns his there as well.
It was like cutting back to the car that I'm like, oh yeah, why the fuck are we watching this on her iPad? Like what the hell is going on? Scott shows us that writing was left on the wall, and with the aid of his light, he reads it as we see it, written in blood. For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given. We see Scott for the first time as he looks uneasily to the man behind the camera, wondering if it's a Bible passage, but the cameraman admits that he doesn't know.
Suddenly Scott asks if he hears that but the man behind the camera doesn't. He asks what Scott is hearing but the constable doesn't answer. He only steps out into the hallway shining his light in front of him. When the cameraman asks again, Scott begins to sing in a low voice. Poor baby wakes. The little Lord Jesus, no crying, he... But before he can finish, someone drops down from the ceiling, upside down and screaming.
In the car, Ben and Dylan jump, but Molly just closes her eyes and averts them, having seen this before. And on the footage, the cameraman and Scott focus on the body, a teenage girl, bloody and upside down, hanging. from the ceiling with her hair dangling. Now that I'm going over this again, I don't know how she was screaming. Yeah. It's cheap. I did. Unfortunately, I jumped out of my skin. Oh, yeah. Because you're not expecting that. No. Just trying to take some notes for a show.
Dylan questions why the cop was singing that song and Molly tells him that no one knows but he he just asked him to He heard him ask, did you guys hear that? Yeah. So he heard that. That's why he's singing it. Why was he doing that? It's like a strange time to sing. He's in the holiday spirit, I guess. I guess so. But Molly shares that after this happened, Scott went on stress leave and he doesn't talk about it.
Dylan asks if she really wants to go there for a stupid school assignment, but Molly tells him to man up. Obviously, they can't use the footage they just watched, so they have to get their own. Just then, someone appears, knocking on Dylan's window and scaring the hell out of everyone. But when they look and see that it's only Caprice Bauer, played by Amy Forsyth, they let out a relieved chuckle.
His girlfriend finally here, Dylan gets out of the car and lifts her up. But before he can kiss her, Molly gets out too, quipping, you're late, bitch. Caprice offers an apology. Her dad pulled a family trip out of his ass an hour ago. She pulls out a set of keys and holds them out toward Molly. As they swing from Caprice's finger, Molly's jaw drops in disbelief.
Slyly wishes her a Merry Christmas before sharing that the keys will get her through any door in the school. I don't know where she got these. No. Oh, wait, wait. Okay. Put a pin in that. Put a pin in that. I think later we kind of learn more how she got them, but not really the other kind of how. The method, yes. The source, no. Thank you. Molly snatches them, sharing that she loves Capri so much right now.
Ben has gotten out now and he says that he can't believe Caprice actually got the keys. But Dylan kisses his girlfriend and looks at her lovingly as he muses. That's my honey, the stickiest fingers and Bailey Downs. I love him anytime. they start to make out and as dylan cups her ass ben looks uncomfortable
A horn honks and we see that Caprice's family is parked and waiting for her. Yeah. That was, yeah, because it's like, hey, I don't want to see that. Y'all really be doing this in like eyesight of your, well, I'm not hiding it. There is, yeah, no. crazy no none of that and the cameraman was there yeah as well he said they're not gonna miss a second of this
But she tells the group that she has to go before advising Molly not to get busted. She hurries to the car and as she opens the door to the back seat, her dad tells her to come on because they've got a long drive. But we join them in the car as they depart. So this is what I'm like, oh, this is different than what I was expecting. These are not segmented stories. We're kind of just vibing and going where we need to go. Yes. And I feel like to me, that's to kind of the detriment. Okay.
They said in one of those interviews that each story was written separately, but then they kind of challenged each other to see how they could make them fit together. Okay. So this was its own story. What's going on with the... trio that we just met was another story and so you know they're brainstorming they're like maybe caprice is dating dylan and maybe we can connect it that way and i think that the kind of
I say loose, but maybe not loose connections between the stories. For me, they work like how somebody knows somebody from, you know, not like, oh, that's my my brother and my whatever. But it's like. tangentially we all know each other yeah i thought it was pretty interesting the way they did it because it is it isn't like something that we do get a lot yeah um but i i i'll be honest i didn't mind it too much Because it did feel like a different ride. Yeah. I do like how...
And I think I even mentioned during the intro how some of them are interconnected. I just feel like there are some missed opportunities, especially for the weight that something should have on one character that we've already met. The police officer. that we'll kind of get to as things go on. It's just like, yeah, it happened last year. It's whatever. Let's do my story that was clearly written differently. Yeah. Okay, I'll give you that.
I'll give you that one because that cop was definitely not written to be the cop that we meet later. I'll give you that. Caprice's father, Taylor, played by Jeff Clark, glides the car down the snow lined road as her mother, Diane, played by Michelle Nolden, questions his motives of wanting to drive to see his old aunt on Christmas Eve. as she knows doesn't even like taylor jeff clark real quick it looks like he did a lot of tv some fargo suits mad mem yes
He was a piece of shit on Mad Men. No, he was. Yeah, he was. That was one of the few times that I was really sticking up for Pete. I was going to say, almost every man was a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. But him extra. Yeah, he was, yeah. Am I the only one? And it's only at certain angles. But I thought that the mom, Michelle Nolden, when I first saw her, I thought she was B.B. Neuwirth, the principal from the faculty.
really she looked just like her to me and then she turned her head and i was like oh that's not her at all yeah i didn't i didn't get that at all just me all right cool got it But Taylor agrees that his aunt doesn't like anyone and that's fine with Diane. But she reminds her husband that he's dragging them along with him. Taylor agrees that he is and he expects for everyone to be on their best behavior.
Caprice already has her headphones on and she turns up the song she's listening to, Briard's Lament by Alex Kaskin, who again is the composer of the film. That made me laugh out loud. But Diane isn't done. She concedes that it's fine that they're not in St. Bart's or even Aspen for Christmas. But Taylor cuts off the rest of her thought, admitting that he just wanted some bonding time. In the backseat, their son Duncan.
played by Percy Hines White glances up at the sentiment with disgust. Taylor reiterates louder. He wants this to be a happy, loving family. See, dad just wants everybody to bond. It's okay. He's fighting for his life. Yeah. Dude, and when we learn later, it's like, oh, shit. I get it. Yeah, I get it. His children don't acknowledge him, and his wife comments facetiously, so you want a Christmas miracle. Jingle Bells plays on the radio as they continue their journey.
They pass a truck on the side of the road and we stay with it as they drive off. Constable Scott Peters gets out, followed by his wife, Kim, played by Olenike Adelie. Real quick, she was in Saw 3D in 2010. Okay. I've not made it that far. No. She is. I do remember. But I like her a lot in this. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, I feel like the segment that begins with this family is maybe aside from the ending of the wraparound.
Yeah. My favorite segment in this film. It's good. Really good. And she's great in it. Yeah. So I look, that's something to look forward to it for me and saw 3d cause I haven't seen it. There you go. But Scott helps out their young son, Will, played by Orion John, inviting him to come and find their Christmas tree. Why they're doing this on Christmas Eve, I do not know. Yeah, the timing of it. And also, broad daylight's not great. No. No.
But Scott grabs his saw out of the back of the truck before the family treks through the snow toward the trees. On their way, Will rattles off his Christmas wants, being very specific. And as they continue into the trees, Will lets out a small cough.
and takes a puff of his inhaler how do i put this anytime a kid has an inhaler in a movie oh yeah i know we've talked about this there is never just a kid with asthma yeah like it because we exist yeah no my kid hasn't yeah no i know and so you know know but it's it'll come up yeah yeah kim asks if he's okay clear that they can head back if he wants to but will doesn't want to and scott assures kim that their son is fine
They approach a fence with a sign warning against trespassing. Kim tells them that they can't get it here, but Scott asks why not. He invites her to look at the trees and challenges her to tell him that they could find a better one. Will even chimes in. pointing at the gap the chains leave between the door and the gate. They could just go right through here. I'm like, this is what you're teaching him? Yeah, you know better. And you're the constable or whatever. Well, maybe not anymore.
It's been a year. Disappointed, Kim sarcastically commends Scott on the great example he's setting as a cop, which I guess is what we just said. But Scott maintains that they're in the middle of nowhere. No one is going to know that they were even here. As he planned, Will slips through the gap in the door and Scott climbs over with ease. Kim stays behind, glancing over her shoulder. But when Scott chuckles, teasing her not to be scared, she lets out a long sigh and starts to follow.
But Molly, Ben and Dylan have made it to the school. Ben mics Molly and when Dylan jokes for him to stop feeling her up, he quickly finishes and moves away. With his camera trained on her, Dylan counts Molly down from five and she begins. I will say that countdown is legit for someone who has done a lot of news packages like this. You got to stop at a certain number because it's very important to not have it on the table. Oh, that makes sense. it's like one we're here we can't use any of this
Holding up her microphone, standing in front of a long hallway with an out-of-focus Christmas tree, Molly begins. She says that Christmas is usually a time of joy and celebration, but for St. Joseph's Academy, it's a time of more. Warning. She shares that exactly one year ago today, last Christmas Eve, there was an unimaginable crime at the school. We pan over to framed yearbook photos of the two murdered teens we saw earlier as Molly introduces them.
Connor and Jenna, reminding us that they were found murdered in cold blood. She stands in front of their memorial, revealing that the killer is still at large, making the atmosphere here in Bailey Downs truly grim this holiday season. She signs off as Molly Simon, adding, and this is... in the hallways.
Dylan abruptly cuts and asks if they're really going with that cheesy title. But Molly fires back that his opinion would really matter more to her if he weren't failing media arts. We're not going to film for you anymore. That's it. So fuck off. I hope you brought a tripod. I thought horror in the hallways was fine. Yeah. It's not too bad. It's all right. Well, we're in school. Yeah. You got the alliteration? Exactly. Come on. That's 90% of it right now.
Ask us. Yeah. But before Dylan can say his get back, Ben shushes them. He's still wearing his headphones and he says that he hears something. When they quiet, Molly and Dylan can hear it too. And then so do we, a voice echoing from deeper within the school. And Dylan recognizes it as Principal Herod.
And we are suddenly with Principal Herod, played by Demir Andre, who walks down the stairs talking on his phone. He has a combative interaction with the person on the other end, asserting that they need to be careful. Annoyed at their response, he affirms. that he knows I did read that a story was cut okay and it had to fucking be this principle
Because I feel like we like even later they're like in principle here. And we learn nothing like nothing. He completely disappears from the narrative. Yeah. But it does seem like we're setting up. Right. You're right. I couldn't find anywhere what this.
extra story was but it has to be this yeah has to be surrounding this principle and am i wrong and i might be but i thought for some reason i thought this school was closed down no yeah i did too and then when they went in there i was like this is really well taken care of for a closed school and then the principal's here yeah yeah no i was like oh no yeah it's on christmas break yeah just locked
I guess. I almost expect that I don't know why the Fonz to be the principal. That would be great. I don't know why. Principal Henry, what are you doing here? I thought you were. Another thing, though, and this is maybe leading into kind of what we get into with this story. Yeah. There is no fucking way that the school would be OK with this being her assignment.
yeah i think they'd be a little pissed off yeah that's true maybe it's one of those things where she didn't get it approved and she's just like Maybe my ambition will. I'll win him over. No. But then how do you explain that? Like you're saying you are right. I broke into the school. I got into the basement. There's a lot. And even the subject matter. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't think of any of that.
Like there was shit. They put the kibosh on with stuff that I wanted to do. Yeah. At my university. Yeah. So there's no way that a year. they're like hey you know the darkest chapter in our school's history let's dredge it up yeah and break into the school Molly, Dylan, and Ben try to hide downstairs. They rush to a locked door, and with shaking hands, Molly cycles through the key ring. Right next to them, the principal is heading down the stairs, immersed in his conversation.
But Molly is finally able to find the right key and unlock a door marked restricted area. No student entry. Sounds like a great idea. Yeah. She pushes it open in the three hurry inside, softly closing the door just as. principal Herod rounds the corner thinking that he heard something he tells the person on the other end of the phone to wait
After a moment, he decides that it was nothing and he's just getting jumpy. We stay lingering on the closed door as Principal Herod disappears down the hall. Maybe never to be seen again. I don't know that we see him again. disappears down the hall and from the film. Yeah. We suddenly cut to a roaring chainsaw biting through a piece of wood. When it pans out, we see that it's wielded by Gerhart, played by Julian Richings. This dude. Yes. Yeah.
It's three fingers from wrong turn. I was like, what the hell are you doing here? But he stops sawing and looks up coldly as Taylor drives his family onto the property, going past him without slowing. When he stops the car, Diane looks up with Marvel at the huge house, musing that his aunt better remember them in the will and that it's about time she invited them here.
Taylor looks away with the gulp and Diane picks up on it, asking, she did invite us, didn't she? But with a grin, Taylor tells her to just think of it as a Christmas surprise. Diane is annoyed, but Taylor reminds her, tis the season, and he insists that his aunt will be thrilled. It abruptly cuts to his Aunt Etta, played by Corinne Conley, who is decidedly not thrilled.
Big surprise. Yeah. Yeah. Corinne Conley, she was in a lot of stuff. She did the original Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from 1964. Wild. And she even did an episode of Goosebumps in 96. I am... It was Monster Blood. Oh, I remember that one. But as a church bell tolls, she looks at her nephew and his family with disdain. A clock ticks loudly, but everyone else is silent until Etta lets out a bland hmm.
Taylor explains that to be honest, he knows that his aunt and his mother had difficulties and he thought that they could just get it out there and deal with it. Diane proposes that now may not be the best time, but Taylor counters emphatically that it's Christmas. What could be a better time? As Caprice flicks a lighter on and off and Duncan reaches for a figure of Krampus poised with his weapon and eyeing a figure of Santa Claus.
Taylor continues that Christmas is a time for family and tradition. He says that if you just let the spirit in, it will fill you. Hmm. Hmm. I will say that Krampus figurine does not fit in with that. The rest of the things on that table. I was like, this is cool as shit. But Duncan has picked up the Krampus figure to inspect it further, and Etta causes everyone to jump when she bellows at him not to touch that. In the stunned silence of the room, she adds in a lower voice that it's very old.
It seems like there's more to it. Taylor turns back to her, wondering if there's somewhere more private the two of them could talk. He wants to show her something that she might be interested in. With the reluctant sigh, she stands and invites him to follow her. And when Taylor tries to help his aunt along, she bats him away. Without Aunt Etta to watch anymore, Duncan picks the Krampus figure back up and Caprice slips the lighter into her pocket.
Diane gets up, crossing the room over to the bar and commenting that after four hours in the car, the old bat didn't even offer her a drink, so she'll help herself. As she pours her drink, she muses dryly that the house looks like Paul Bunyan and Dracula gayed up and built a dream home. I was like, that's enough out of you. Yeah. What else is going on in this film? Aren't some kids in a basement? Yeah. I'm kind of done with it. Is a family stealing a tree or something as well?
Neither of her kids comment on this, and Duncan's attention is focused back on the Krampus figure, but he's startled when Gerhard enters the room, warning in a stern and cold voice that that is not a toy. Duncan immediately sets the figure down, and Diane strides over, ready to introduce her family, but Gerhart cuts her off. He knows who they are. Diane is like, okay? Picking it up again, Duncan asks Gerhardt, this is Krampus, right?
When Caprice doesn't know who Krampus is, Duncan schools his older sister. Krampus is like the anti-Santa Claus, a demon who punishes the naughty. He whips them, chains them up, throws them in a sack, stuff like... that. Gerhard adds that on Krampusnacht, the demon haunts the wicked from sunset to sunrise. God damn. Yeah. And I do also want to point out that he does whip your butt with a branch of birch. He does? Yeah. But 80% of kids do.
They end up turning into dirtbags. That's all. I heard he just laughs, but that's honestly been stuck in my head all day. Dude, this was, and this was prime Krampus time. Yeah. American dad did it in 2013 and in 2015 is. this film and Krampus. Yeah. I can't believe that. This was the same year as Krampus. No, me either. I wonder if maybe that's why this doesn't really get its flowers is because, I mean, Krampus is fucking great. Krampus. Yeah. And again, nothing against the people.
in this movie but Krampus has got a lot of names in it oh yeah yes that is true Tony Collette yeah which always surprises me I know Diane sips her drink and shrugs that that's fun. But Gerhard turns his gaze to Duncan, warning that he comes for little boys who touch things that they shouldn't. In retaliation, Duncan swats the figure off the table with a sarcastic, oops. What are you, a cat? I could not.
I couldn't fucking believe it. No. Fuck Duncan. Yeah. This little bastard, he fucking gives like a, ain't I a stinker? Yeah. Look. Yeah. Two. Oh, yeah. There is no accident in this. He's too old. be doing that yes it's crazy Krampus falls to the ground and promptly breaks Gerhardt's eyes widen as he looks down at the figure and Diane only offers a mild Duncan
I would be fucking mortified. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know that she bought him two copies of Bone Storm. A thousand percent. That's the kind of kid he is. Kid too. I'm not sharing with Caprice. It's waiting under the tree at home. But Duncan grins up at the man who admonishes that that was very unwise. Diane promises to pay for it and tells her son to pick it up, but he doesn't move and Diane stoops to do it herself. Unbelievable. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Etta and Taylor return now. And when Etta breathes out a stunned, what have you done to Gerhardt, he tells her that he did nothing. The boy had an unfortunate accident. Overcome, Etta grabs Taylor's. arm and tells him to take his family and leave now he tries to convince her otherwise but she only doubles down informing him that she feels one of her spells coming on and she can't entertain guests
With a nudge, she gives him a cold goodbye, and the tense score mounts as she and Gerhardt eye each other. It turns dark and ominous when we linger on the Krampus figure, broken and abandoned on the floor. The blackness that it cuts to is interrupted by a mouth screaming for bicycle parts to sector five through a megaphone. As we pan out, Foreman Elf, played by Eric Wolf, is seen wielding the megaphone, moving out of the way of the bustling workshop as he continues to give orders.
Elves scurry by carrying gifts, wrapping paper and driving forklifts. But Santa is watching all of this from his office above. Sparkles, played by Karina Rothery, measures Santa's coat and giggles that she had to take it out again this year. Santa cheerily advises her to talk to the missus. After signing some papers from another elf, Santa strides over to Jingles, played by Joe Salvaggio, and asks what they're up against this year.
I think it is funny that he has to sign papers. He's like, this is an order form? Yeah. They need your signature, Santa. I don't know what to tell you. And that elf was following him. And one more. It is Christmas Eve. We shouldn't have ordered it this late. We're down to the wire. And Joe Savaggio. I remember him from Resident Evil Apocalypse. Really? Yeah.
Jingles reports a blizzard on the eastern seaboard, but Santa isn't worried. He boasts that he's never met a blizzard that troubled him as he picks up his staff. Jingles continues that it's really bad and he warns him about the trade wins. He reminds Santa, safety first. The elf with the paperwork has followed behind Santa the whole time and requests his signature again.
Jingles is still worried, reminding Santa as he signs papers that a lot of kids are depending on tonight going off without a hitch. Another elf, Shiny, played by Ken Hall, has been sitting by quietly chopping a wooden stump with. a small axe but suddenly he hacks out a worrying cough. Santa is concerned but he's interrupted when Martha Claus played by Dana McCabe enters throwing her arms out dramatically and declaring that it's break time for everyone.
The elves celebrate her as she comes in bearing cookies because even Christmas magic needs a little fuel. The elves happily swarm the cookies, all except for shiny who eyes the platters sickly. Santa invites him to dig in and when Shiny politely declines, Santa presses again, pointing out that it will keep his strength up for their long shift. But Shiny only replies that he's not hungry.
Dude, Shiny knows what his belly needs more than anybody else. Like, this is really difficult. Like, Shiny, what the hell's wrong with you? The other elves fall silent before questioning, you're not hungry? They're cookies! This is all we get. Yeah. And what's in those cookies? Honestly, they're like, dude. Mrs. Claus places a comforting hand on Shiny's shoulder, reminding him of how much he loves her cookies. His voice raising, Shiny responds, I said I don't want a goddamn cookie.
Now, this was funny because I was thinking Todd Flanders. I said, I don't want any damn vegetables. But he takes it a step further, calling Mrs. Claus a reindeer fucking snow whore before bringing the axe down on his own hand. Now. That's literally insult to injury. Yeah. And I don't know. That shocked the hell out of me. Well, yeah. Granted, I haven't known Shiny very long. No, but that's your hand. I don't think that's. Yeah. And the stealth seems out of character. You do.
He holds his hand up, groaning. The last two figures splayed out away from the rest. Blood spurts as his heart beats, spraying the other elves in their faces. Martha covers her mouth, suppressing a gag, and Santa just... grimace is like you hate to see it i was like why are we reacting bigger to this it was such a small thing he's like shiny does this every year
I just, I don't, I don't, the way that everything is sold in this scene is very strange. It is, it is. It is a little weird. But then I think maybe it is part of. what we come to understand right right you know shiny falls on the ground letting out a final groan before falling silent jingles inspects him before reporting to santa in a hushed tone That shiny is dead. Santa can't believe this. Neither could I. No. He counters that elves and jingles finishes his sentence. Can't die.
He asks Santa if it's true that elves can't die. And Santa tells him firmly, no, they cannot. The music rises and it cuts to black. Now we will return to the North Pole in a while, but I wanted to point out they made mention in one of the interviews that Joe Salvaggio and Ken Hall played multiple elves that we see later. Really? Yeah.
They said actually that this story itself was almost completely cut because they didn't know how they were going to make it work with the budget. But they knew that a Christmas movie needed a Santa story. So Hoban said that they bit it off even though they weren't. sure that they could chew it and i'm glad that they did yeah in all fairness i mean all the work that goes into this uh makeup effects wise yes it is kind of shocking and i would love to know what the budget was
Yeah, I don't know. They said, too, that John Fawcett, who directed Ginger Snaps, was supposed to direct this Santa segment, but he was too busy with Orphan Black and he had to... stepped down and Stephen Hoban stepped in. He hadn't planned on directing this at all. The crows cry out in the woods as Scott and Kim dragged their ill-gotten tree across the snow.
Scott laughs that Will is going to help them put it up, too. Will chimes in that the tree is so much better than the ones at the mall. But Kim is emphatic that they cannot do this again. Scott assures her that they won't even miss this tree because of all the other ones they have, but they don't realize as they continue forward talking that their son has fallen behind.
When he hears strange and inhuman sounds coming from the woods behind him, he stops and turns toward them. Our focus is on the dragged tree and in the background, an out of focus will wanders away. Scott and Kim are still going and he tries to sell his wife on the tree, reminding her of how much she loves the smell of pine. And when she worries that it won't fit up the stairs, he assures her that it will.
But his smile immediately falls away when he turns and finds that his son is no longer behind them. Kim calls out to Will and Scott joins in, telling his son that now is not the time to play hide and seek. But Will isn't playing hide and seek. With his inhaler clutched in his small hand, he is surrounded by strange whispers. He calls out for his parents, but they don't hear him. Their own cries of his name growing more worried and frantic.
Something moves behind Will causing him to turn around and the chatty crows fly off screaming. Panting, Kim asks Scott where Will went, and he maintains that he couldn't have gone far, but he spots something concerning in the snow next to them. Will's dropped inhaler, and without a word.
Their faces both reflect the gravity of this discovery. I would... feel sick like this whole scene was very stressful oh yeah but you think about it's like we were so focused on stealing this yeah yeah i i think that's the one thing that i will say is kind of not a gripe, but a little nitpicky. We're, we jumped this fence. Yeah. This isn't our property. Why is our son trailing behind? I know. Why, why is the kid even here?
Yeah. Well, it's like... Let's go break the law, son. It's that. Dude, on this property that has a don't trespass son? Yeah, it's that. He really wanted him to be a part of it. I'm like, it's Christmas. Scott leads Kim through a path and out into a clearing where they stand next to a hollowed out tree. Panic rising still, they scream out for Will, but receive nothing but their own fogged breath as a response. But as ominous music grows, Scott notices the hollow in the tree.
He inspects it, bracing his hands on either side of the opening as he leans inside. Kim calls out for her husband, and when he turns at the sound of her voice, hands reach out from inside the tree and grasp onto Scott. He cries out and backs away, but when he looks back inside the tree, it's Will.
The parents pull their son out of the tree, and as Kim embraces him, Scott is still trying to catch his breath. He demands to know why his son would run off like that, but Will only turns and fixes his father with a glare. Kim picks him up and holds him, snapping at Scott not to yell at him because all of this was his idea. You know what? You got me there.
She and Will hurry away, and Scott is left behind, gasping for air and taking one last lingering look at the endless black within the hollow of the tree. We all know that there's a skeleton in there with ambition and a bat for a tie. Absolutely. Back at their truck, he throws the tree in the bed before getting inside with his family. But he has no idea that from afar, sitting astride a snowmobile and peering out at the constable's family is Big Earl, played by Ace.
Peterson we cut to black before we move on AC Peterson he was in sucker punch in 2011 and he did some beyond belief factor fiction wow yeah oh yeah And Sucker Punch deserves its flowers. I'm sick of the slander. I've never seen it. I liked it. It's pretty good. Yeah. I like the cast. Yeah. One thing I will say about this man is it's very... It's...
Very difficult because you're like, oh, so he saw everything. Yeah. Yeah. And he didn't say anything. Yeah. That's pretty frightful. Yeah. That's true. But back at the school, Molly, Ben and Dylan are wandering around in the records room. When Dylan complained sarcastically, Molly shares that St. Joseph's used to be a convent a long time ago. And this is part of the original building.
Dylan quips that Molly could be a bride of Christ, too, since she has the whole virgin thing going on. But Molly corrects him that this is actually where they kept the unmarried girls that got pregnant back in the day. That was a big deal and they needed to be. kept out of sight. They walked down the aisle, scanning with their flashlights and Dylan's camera.
Ben asks if this place was shut down before it became a school, and Molly confirms that it was. There were a lot of weird stories going around, including one of a 15-year-old girl who claimed to be a virgin. When she got pregnant, She claimed that it was a miracle like the Virgin Mary, but no one believed her.
Ben lingers on a door, shining his light inside with a disgusted look on his face before hurrying to join Molly and Dylan. At the end of the hall, after a moment of hesitation, Molly slides open a door and the three wait before going. inside Ben asks what happened to the 15 year old and when Dylan jokes that it was Ben's mom Molly corrects him that actually she died trying to abort her baby
She steps inside the new area telling them let's go. Behind her, Dylan is stricken silent in the wake of his poorly timed joke and Ben smacks him for his troubles. They follow her into the dim blue tinged hallway and they only get a few feet inside before the sliding door squeals on its track as it slammed shut behind them. Great. We don't react to this at all. Yeah, that's my note. We're not worried about that. No. Look, every basement has at least one or two ghosts. It's fine.
When Molly finds an unlocked door, she pushes it open. Inside, the flashlight and camera fall upon a hospital bed still stained and streaked with blood. So we just left this place as is. I guess. A year later. I guess. I will understand. This was from even the hospital bed was from even before. Oh, that's true. When this was a convent or whatever. Yeah.
I will say I have heard horrible stories of crime scenes where that's your problem. That's terrible. Which is wild to me that that is not something that is standardized as far as a cleanup. Yeah. maybe but the school but i mean they locked off the room you're not even supposed to be down here yeah ben is trying to open another door but it doesn't budge Molly goes to another door, one still sealed with a sticker, and she identifies it as the room where Connor and Jenna were killed.
But Ben, his headphones placed over his ears, hears something strange. And when he asks if they did too, Dylan asks what he means. But Molly demands that they stay focused. She opens the door. The stickers... kiss broken from the frame inside is the same room that we saw in Scott's video twin beds crosses a barred window
A statue of the Virgin Mary stands bravely on the nightstand in the corner. Molly goes over to the wall where Connor's body was propped up and displayed, now bare, and she shines her light, commenting that this was where, but Dylan tells her that they... know they all saw the video despite his unease he still dutifully records the wall
As Ben stands by uneasily, Dylan questions Molly when she consults her script. She admits that she just doesn't want to forget anything, and Dylan peers over her shoulder to peek at the pages. Molly suggests that he just stick to filming. because words aren't really his thing. But Dylan is only trying to make sure there's no horror in the hallways. It's like, that's the name. Yeah. Leave it alone. Sticking with it.
Ben has been standing by in the doorway and as Molly and Dylan talk over the script, he slips away, back out into the hallway. He peeks into the room with the hospital bed that they left open, but when he leans inside, we see the figure of a girl standing in the hall. Her silhouette is striking against the cool light from the window behind her, and she stands motionless.
and a white gown, her features hidden in shadow. But Ben steps back into the hall, his body obstructing our view of her, and when he heads back into the room with Dylan and Molly, she is completely gone. I thought this was really cool. Yeah, I agree. I will say I think that there are some. actually pretty cool shots in this film yeah and that's one of them that kind of sticks with me that i do remember yeah there's one later that is really really good and i feel like
There are a lot of successes in these understated moments of horror. Yeah. But in the room, Dylan films Molly picking up that small statue of the Virgin Mary. When Ben enters, visibly shaken, Dylan asks what's wrong, but he maintains that it's nothing. Molly sets the figure back down and the Virgin Mary faces up.
as she begins to cry something dark from her black eyes and runs down the bright white porcelain. But the Bauer family is driving home in the darkening night. Taylor grips the steering wheel angrily as he mutters, Five minutes. He says that they couldn't act like a normal goddamn family for five minutes. Unbothered, Diane responds that she thinks they're more normal than Etta and Gerhart, the latter of whom she accuses of deliberately baiting their son. I was like, girl.
enough what by leaving something fragile yeah we were all there yeah we saw what happened yes he was happy as hell he was happy as peaches to do it He sure was. She turns to Duncan now, assuring him that it wasn't his fault. As she turns back forward, she adds that she doesn't know why Taylor's aunt got so mad over a stupid piece of kitsch.
But in the back seat, bathed in the blue of the night, Caprice corrects her mother. She wasn't mad. She was scared. Taylor eyes his daughter in the rearview mirror, but Diane doesn't respond. That's a very important distinction. Yeah. And they're like, shut up. Like, that's really important. Yeah. Diane focuses her frustration on Taylor, telling him that she can't believe he dragged them there on Christmas Eve so that he could hustle his own aunt.
That's a new low, even for him. But Taylor asserts that it wasn't a hustle. The bioplex is a means of integrating technology into a sustainable future where... And his entire family boredly joins in to interrupt him. Scientific innovation is a shared experience. Taylor says it's all well and good when it pays for the house and the vacation and the schools and the orthodontist. But otherwise, it's a big joke. Duncan is literally mouthing some of this rant from the backseat. But suddenly.
Something tall, white, and horned. Hurries across the road. Look, this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. And he takes time. Well, whatever it is. It takes time to look through the windshield at the family. And it was like, come on, man. In his attempt to break, Taylor sends the car skidding before it stops on the side of the road. Taylor revs the engine, but the tires only spin, sending up streams of snow. He pounds the wheel, yelling out,
Damn, but Diane is only annoyed. We get one last shot of the family vehicle embedded in the snow before it cuts once again to black. But back at St. Joseph's, Molly is equipped with her microphone, informing Dylan's camera that this is where Connor was found crucified one year ago today. She says that his neck was broken before leading us to the doorway where she says Jenna's mutilated body was found hanging from metal piping in the ceiling.
Why would someone go through so much effort? She says that that's just one of the many unanswered questions in this baffling case. She gives Dylan the signal to cut and asks how it looked while they're both looking down at the camera. Ben calls out to them reporting in a shaky voice that it's still here. They go over to him and see it, the bloody message still visible through the feeble layer of paint smeared over it. Unto us a child is born. Unto us a son is given.
Dylan films this, whispering that it's fucking creepy. But Molly tells them that it's from Isaiah chapter 9, verse 6. It's about the birth of Jesus. 9-6-9-6. Ah. So it isn't a 69 joke. Well, in the middle. I will say her knowing exactly the Bible verse.
She did not make this known in the car. Yeah. No, she didn't. And they even speculated on the video. They're like, is that from the Bible? And she just stayed quiet. Yeah. So it is very interesting to hear her say this now. True. Now that we're down here.
There's a loud clanging sound in the hallway and everyone's attention snaps to it. Dylan admits that this place is creeping him out and Molly decides that they've gotten all they need. They can go now. With zero arguments, the trio heads upstairs.
They pause at the door that they came in from in their haste to escape Principal Herod. But now when Molly cycles through the different keys on her ring, none of them seem to fit. When Dylan asks what's wrong and Ben tells her to hurry up, Molly ignored.
them muttering that she was sure it was this one dylan tells her to move so he can try himself and she obliges but maintains that she's tried all of them three times and none of them fit Dylan finds out for himself before resorting to banging on the door in front of them and calling out for help. On the other side, the sign marked restricted area, no student entry stands defiant as Dylan bangs. He calls out for the principal, commenting that of course he's not around now.
He drops to the ground to peer under the door, but there's no one there. Molly raises her phone to her ear, reporting that she's got full bars and some service so it should be ringing. But standing up, Dylan wonders, what if Principal Herod locked them in? Ben doesn't understand why the principal would do that. But Dylan reminds him that for all they know, he could be down there with him. All right. Yeah. What are we missing? I know. I need to know more about this principal because.
if that is a conclusion that we can jump to right now. Yeah. He's got to be a shady motherfucker. I don't know. Dylan tries his own phone and is just as disappointed with the result as Molly was. But outside of the Peters family home, the snow falls picturesque. Inside, Scott is putting finishing touches on the pilfered tree while Kim takes photos of Will, who sits on the couch. She instructs her son to smile and he does, but the smile does not reach his eyes, which still glower at his mother.
And as soon as the photo is snapped, the attempted smile drops from his face. Kim asks Will if he's okay, but he only stares at her silently. Scott invites his son to come help him with the tree instead of acting like he's never seen one before. But Will looks down at the ornaments in front of him, his brow knitted in confusion, before he stands and plugs up a green and gold orb.
it over to Scott who shares that he likes this one too and he sits back down on the couch as his father hangs it from the tree. Scott looks over at Will who stares up at him quietly. He sits down next to his son and wraps his arm around him, and he admits that he knows he wasn't around much last Christmas, but this year they're having fun, right? When Will doesn't answer, Scott returns to the tree.
About how long of this before you're like, there's something, something's wrong. We wouldn't even make it home. Right. We've already established this kid when, when we were walking into the woods, he's like, I want this toy and this toy and this version. Like he's talking, he's excited. Like what? what the fuck happened in the woods? Like, no, we wouldn't even make it home. We wouldn't even make it home before I'm like, something horrible has happened.
And even if we do make it home and then, you know, wait to say something at home, that's what it would be why we're there. Yes. Why aren't you saying anything? Can you open your mouth? Let me see your tongue. Yes. There's something wrong. Did you swallow something? anything the picture alone is unsettling yeah yeah like there's something definitely wrong with this child and that's not my kid and i know that that's not your kid yeah like that's what's what's going on
Later, Will shovels spaghetti into his already full mouth. Kim warns him to slow down but he doesn't. Meanwhile, Scott is slipping presents under the tree. He stops on one box with the written sentiment to my beautiful wife with endless love, Scott. He goes to the kitchen to get a beer and remarks on his son's greedy gobbling. He says that it looks like someone worked up an appetite. Kim informs him with some concern that it's Will second serving.
But Scott takes this to mean that it must be good and that he's ready to eat. He settles down at the dining table next to his son. But Kim warns Will again that he's eating too fast. He's going to give himself a tummy ache. We're just downplaying. Yeah, dude. And you know the eating habits of your children. Yes. He's like, damn, must be good. Let's eat. Let's eat. I'm ready for my plate. Yeah. I fucking dragged a tree all afternoon. I'm starving.
Will continues shoveling in the food, and this finally gains concern from his father, who asks if he heard his mother talking to him. Will continues bringing the fork to his mouth again and again, and Scott decides that he's had enough now. for the plate but will raises the fork and brings it down on his father's hand i mean yeah ouch yeah
Scott stands, booming, what the fuck? And he seems about to physically retaliate. But Kim pleads from the kitchen, Scott, no. Yeah, what, was he going to arrest his son? What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Scott takes a moment to breathe before starting out of the room, cradling his wounded hand. Kim grabs him on the way out, assuring him that she will handle it. Scott leaves muttering, yeah, you handle it. And wondering, what's wrong with that kid? That kid. Your kid? Yeah.
Kim turns to face her son, who is back to packing noodles in his already full mouth. She asks him why he did that, and Will doesn't reply. He only continues his gluttonous activities. Kim decides that he can go to his room. Will rises from the table silently and walks past her, disappearing down the hall.
Kim looks at the table in confusion before letting out a sigh. I was surprised that he did. He's like, that's probably not. I am pushing it at this point. I thought it was surprising he didn't take his plate with him. Yeah. Because he's tearing it up. He was really enjoying it. At the radio station, Dangerous Dan offers that Christmas is the most magical time of year. But this Christmas, it's different in Bailey Downs because it's got to be.
He tells his friends listening that it's true and they know it is. He says that before he puts another jingle in our stocking, he wants us to think about the little ones in our lives and give thought to the little ones who aren't with us anymore. He picks up a family Christmas card from the shelf behind him. And as he looks at the written message inside to our dangerous grandpa, he says that this one is for them, for Jenna and for Connor from St. Joseph's Academy.
me cruelly taken from us last year. Dan closes the card to reveal the family photo on the front. The Bowers look back at him. Taylor, Diane, Caprice, and Duncan, all stricken and uncomfortable. That's the picture they chose? Yeah. If that's the best, I mean, what are you going to do? I guess. But I was like, that's their grandpa. Whose dad is he? Yeah. I gotta be honest.
I like and appreciate some of the attempted connections, but this was just like the prop department's like, let's just get one more. It was a little like, oh, all right. To our day. Dan, if you thought. last year was fucking tragic yeah just you wait dan intones that he knows they're listening somewhere out there as he drops the needle on a record and gazes at his santa claus snow globe
The snow inside mirrors the flurries outside of Santa's factory. And when we dip inside, we see the once bustling floor is now dark and empty of elves. There remain cardboard boxes, wrapped gifts, abandoned forklifts.
puddles of blood a conveyor belt struggles to push presents forward but jams again and again on the catwalk above an elf stands his labored breathing permeating the silence but mrs claus is still working in the office above when santa bursts in i was like ma'am yeah i think christmas yeah it's over santa is relieved to see his wife but somehow she's like what's going on
Staring out the windows overlooking the factory floor, Santa tells her that it's the elves. He fears they may all become infected. Martha is confused. infected she asks if other elves got sick but picking up his staff santa reveals that it's worse than that he sharpens its ornate tip on the edge of the fireplace as his wife hurries over asking what he means He explains that Shiny's body is gone. He was laid to rest. It may already be too late now.
He turns to Mrs. Claus, who asserts that it doesn't make any sense. And Santa agrees. Elves becoming the walking dead? No, it doesn't make any sense. Unless he is behind it. Just then, the doors to the office begin to rattle, the keys still stuck in them, jingling. Santa tells Martha to take a step back before kicking the desk. It glides all the way to the doors, barricading it.
Santa cuts the power and grips his wife by the shoulders, telling her emphatically that she needs to hide. But the trunk of a small tree bursts through the door. It's wielded by an undead shiny who croaks in his small voice.
Open up, you fat fucking piece of shit. This is when I was like, I don't know if I am really enjoying this. Like, I get it. It's like... elves like zombie elves i get that on paper it sounds like a lot of fun but i was like i'm more interested in what's happening with will yeah you know what i mean oh no i was loving it and i can see that and i love that well it's like the elfful dead ah okay in a way yeah
But shiny leans in the door, blood pouring from his mouth as he cackles. Here's shiny. I did like that. Take a shot. Santa tells us again, it's shiny. He's risen from the dead. Dude, so they buried his ass. Yeah. They had a funeral for this poor departed elf. Yeah. And he's, dude. He's back. In Pog form. In Pog form. Yeah. He hides his wife away in a closet while shiny demands to know where's my fucking cookie. Jingles appears in the door. Now growling as undead as his companion.
Jingles crawls inside across the desk and Santa stands with his staff, demanding that Jingles stay back. But he doesn't. With a scream, Jingles rises to his feet and runs full speed ahead. Santa swings his cane and swifts. He softly slices off the top of Jingles' head. He falls to the ground, his slick pink brain exposed.
But this distracts Santa for long enough for Shiny to grab him, announcing to Santa that he's got him. But Santa just flings the elf off through the glass and down to the factory floor where we hear him land with a sickening splat. That was funny. I was like, well, that was easy at least.
Santa only has a second to catch his breath before we're back at St. Joseph's. After peering up at the barred window, Molly finds Dylan in the hall. He reports that he can't find any windows that don't have bars on them, and she agrees. Ben comes out lamenting that he can't be here. He's supposed to be at the mall helping with the food drive. His mom is going to kill him. But Dylan reminds him that they've all got somewhere to be. It's Christmas Eve.
I just, again, this is what I'm saying as far as the stories and the way that they're edited and paced. We just watched Santa Claus at the North Pole. fucking slice the scalp off of an elf, throw it through the window, all this stuff. And then it's like, Hey, what are those kids doing in the basement? We can't just do, we can't go back to that after what we've just seen. That's pretty jarring. It's a tonal shift for sure. It is.
Pragmatic, Molly is sure that there has to be another way out of here. They continue down the hall into the archives, where we dart around in the POV of Dylan's camera. He scans over the room, but stops and screams when the footage... falls upon a pale girl. When we pan back over to her, she opens her eyes. At the sound of Dylan's panic, Molly and Ben hurry over to find Dylan, focusing his light and camera on a very sassy looking mannequin.
And that is not what you saw. Not at all. No. Not even a little bit. Molly laughs that he's a little jumpy, but Dylan doesn't offer a reply. He only moves his light from the mannequin in front of him to the others put away behind. Ben realizes that this is a nativity scene. They didn't set it up this.
Molly agrees that you can't openly display a nativity scene anymore adding that it's the war on Christmas using matches from her pocket she lights a row of tall white candles complaining that it's freezing down here
Dylan has moved over to the windows and finds that these are barred too, but Ben is still focused on one of the mannequins. Dylan looks above them, sure that he can hear that the heater is on. He takes a staff from one of the bearded mannequins and pokes... the pipes above them, wondering why it won't heat up.
Carrying one of the candles with her, Molly goes over to him, suggesting that they just waited out. Someone will notice. But Dylan reminds her that the only one that knows they're down here is Caprice, and she's out of town, and the school won't read. reopen for a week and a half. But Molly offers that if there ever was a time to notice that three students were missing, it's tonight, right?
Ben sits down sadly and says that they always open one gift every Christmas Eve. They eat pizza and drink champagne and watch the sound of music. What an odd. odd combination i'm not trying to critique your family's traditions but i've never heard of that for christmas in my life pizza champagne and the sound of music yeah well honestly even in just every in any day that's just an odd yeah that's a little weird
He says that before they go to bed, they each open one gift, but not this year. As Dylan takes a shawl from the mannequin and drapes it over Molly's shoulders, Ben muses bitterly, hell of a Christmas, huh? Silence descends on them, but Dylan reaches into his pocket. He pulls two candy canes out, admitting that it's not pizza and champagne, but Merry Christmas.
Ben thanks his friend and Molly chuckles gratefully, acknowledging that she didn't realize how starving she is. I don't know how far she thinks this candy cane is going to go. She's like, thank God I'm starving. It's a candy cane. Have you ever had a candy cane before? Have you ever said, oh, man, I'm stuffed. But this respite is short-lived because Ben wonders. What if he comes back? The guy that killed Jenna and Connor.
What if he came back tonight? They're trapped down here and there's still a psychopath on the loose. But Dylan thinks that the psycho is already here. It's Principal Herod. I swear to God. Yeah, I know. And I will be honest. don't mind this little moment um them being there him giving them the candy canes yeah this little but there again we did see that weird ghost thing you know there was a ghost event
We got freezing temperatures. I mean, they should have known this is the haunted room. One would think. But Dylan is sure that Principal Herod is the one that locked them down here. Molly allows that the principal is creepy, but that doesn't mean he's a killer. Dylan asks what he's doing here on Christmas Eve then. And also, he has to piss.
He looks around for a moment before taking a staff from the Joseph mannequin, pointing out that he's sure Joe won't mind if he borrows this. He heads out into the hall in search of somewhere to relieve himself. Alone now, Molly and Ben exchange an... uneasy look. I feel like in these conditions we are locked in a basement.
The three of us. We're not splitting up. No one. Yeah. Yeah. Even if it's to use the restroom. Yeah. You're going to hear me pee. Yeah. We'll turn our back. But yeah. No. Nobody's going off alone. No. Turn the faucet on. It'll be all right. Yeah. Water's still going. We'll be fine. And especially with the history of this place. Yeah. One year ago tonight. Tonight. Come on. Right on a night like that. Yes. Actually exactly like that. Yeah.
But in the hallway, Dylan wanders, flashing his light in every direction before stepping into one of the rooms. Back in the room, Molly sits down and offers that Caprice will know something's wrong when Dylan doesn't call her tonight. Dylan has finally reached the bathroom and is unable to hide his disgust. He wonders, what is that fucking smell?
But Ben is picking up something in his headphones. The meter on his equipment reacts to it as well as he pulls his headphones over his ears and asks if Molly can hear that. We pull back from the room and into the hallway where we can faintly hear a girl singing. In the bathroom, Dylan sighs as he pees in the urinal, periodically shooting a glance over his shoulder.
When Molly asks Ben what he's hearing, he doesn't answer her. Dylan flushes the toilet and starts to wash his hands. And when Molly stands and goes over to Ben asking again what it is, he has to admit that he doesn't know. Dylan washes his hands, looking down at them as he scrubs before raising his eyes to the mirror and checking himself out. And this was a pretty cool moment because I think we were all expecting some kind of jump scare in the mirror. Yeah, for sure. We didn't get one.
I admired the restraint. But in the room, Ben reports that the sounds have stopped. Molly looks up at him and finds the ghostly girl leaning over Ben's shoulder. Molly lets out a blood curdling scream, which causes Ben to panic too. Dylan snatches up his staff and sprints down the hall. When he gets to the room, Ben is trying to comfort a fallen Molly who seizes on the ground.
Dylan asks what happened and Ben doesn't know. From what he saw, she just freaked out and started twitching. We zoom in on Molly who continues to thrash. Her friends try and help her. So that's that, right? Yeah. She's possessed. Christmas is over. There's no pizza, no champagne. It's funny how he was like, you know, some Christmas. There goes Christmas. Cancel Christmas.
Back at the Peters residence, Kim is taking a much needed moment of relaxation as she showers. But why she's not using her loofah that's literally right there, I do not know. Yeah. After she bathes, she steps out and dries herself as she takes a look in the mirror. But when she turns somehow, Will is standing there quietly by the tub she just got out of. She backs away, hiding her body behind the tub.
Howell. Startled, she tells her son to get out, but he just blinks at her for a moment before listening and exiting the room. Don't check on him or anything. She's like, well, glad that's over. She goes, get out. And then she's just like, he's got a belly full of spaghetti. He's going to sleep good tonight. He's going to sleep good tonight. So again, here. Let's go sit them down. Maybe we have a Bible and a priest. We're like, look, let's talk. Tell us what's wrong. Maybe a little holy water.
In the bedroom Scott sits on the bed looking at his laptop but he sits up when Kim enters the room. When she asks about his hand he supposes that he'll live. We get a shot of Will, lying in his bed as a cold breeze wafts in through the open window. Suspicious, Kim asks Scott if he's noticed that Will hasn't had to use his inhaler. Scott reasons that that's a good thing and Kim reluctantly agrees. She says that something just seems wrong with him and maybe they should take him to a doctor.
Will lies in his bed listening to his parents and Scott is like, you think maybe we should take Will to a doctor? As soon as possible. Nobody's like on Christmas Eve. He thinks that maybe they should just keep an eye on him. He pulls his wife close and tells her, they say you're allowed to open one gift before Christmas. The two share a kiss, and even as Scott holds her closer and kisses on her chest, Kim's worry has not dissipated.
She tells him, not right now, but Scott counters that it's been a while. Will still listens in his bed and Kim points out that with everything that's going on with Will and Scott's like, yeah, sure, whatever, forget it. he stands up and starts to leave kim tries to stop him but for scott the damage is done this bothered me a little bit because i i I'm not even going to say that I understand him at all because we're dealing with our kid that's obviously different now. Yes.
I, I, again, I, I will say that I understand the, Hey, on Christmas, we, whatever you're adults, you're married couple, whatever right now is not that time. And for him to react that way, I felt like something's missing. Like you're reacting.
very aggressively over something that's very small and then your kid is... not using his inhaler oh that's great no oh yeah stabbed you with the fork oh it's okay yeah on paper that is great where there's a lot of other weird things that are going on yeah i think that's the thing as well because he just brushes it off he's like oh live yeah yeah it's like it is still a big deal that he did stab you in the hand and he was
kind of peeping in the bathroom. He's gorging himself at the table. He's not speaking. His smiles don't reach his eyes. There's so much to be concerned about. And he's just like, yeah. It's like, no, Scott. No, down. Down. and not even it wasn't even about the gift that he set aside for her no because that's what I thought too me too but he's like no it's sex yeah it's a dick in a dick in the box yeah
We cut to him sitting in front of the Christmas tree alone with his beer. He listens to Dangerous Dan on the radio who invites him to listen to some Christmas music. I feel like Dangerous Dan being on everyone's radio is enough of a connection and we really didn't need that Christmas card. That's true. It was a bit much.
Silent Night begins to play and Scott leans forward with a sigh, but this reveals Will, standing out of focus behind his father. We close in on Scott's unsuspecting back while the music continues to play. I really like the look of this shot. Yeah. The glowing eyes. Yes. It made me think of demons. Yeah. Okay. And if you like that even more later. Yes. Kim sleeps in bed alone and we linger on her before the blankets on the other side of the bed begin to move. Strange whispers echo.
We see that it's not Scott who has fallen asleep on the couch. And as the lump in the bed moves on top of her, she lets out low, pleasured moans, her hands rolling into fists. But it's the small hand of her son that reaches up. toward her from underneath the blanket she wakes at the sound of a low growl and will's hand is yanked back when kim sits up in bed with a gasp something darts out of her bedroom
That's very uncomfortable. Yeah. And I was just kind of like, what the fuck? Yeah. What's going on in that basement? With the kids or whatever. The kids that you didn't want to revisit earlier. Let's go back to that. This was weird. Yes. It felt very weird. She goes to check on Will in his bedroom and finds him sleeping soundly in his bed. His window is still open and she hugs herself against the cold before going to close it. When she moves away from the window, we see Will in its reflection.
but his head is large and misshapen and human with two pinholes of glowing eyes shining out as she goes to leave the strange whispers begin to echo again and she looks back at her son once again sleeping innocently in his bed. When she finally leaves, Will slowly opens his eyes. Was it too soon to see this little wood monster?
I will say maybe, but I did think the shot was really cool. It's a really cool shot. It is. It is. But yeah, it might have been a little too soon. Yeah. Because we just got that cool shot with the eyes in the living room. Yeah. That might have been enough for now. Yeah, maybe. We cut to the Bauer family making their way through the snowy woods. Taylor holds a lit flare, bathing himself and his family in a red light and technically making a Christmas Horror Story 2015.
A Giallo film. You're not getting any presents this year. Wait, no! You're on the naughty list. I deserved it. Diane laments leaving the road as she didn't exactly wear her trudging through the snow boots. But Taylor insists that this will shave half an hour off their walk back to Aunt Etta's. I'll take that. 30 minutes? That's not worth it. Did you know you have 30 minutes? This is crazy.
Taylor reminds his family that he offered for them to stay in the car, but Caprice counters sarcastically that she and her mom would be easy prey for drunken hillbilly rapists. No thanks. I was like, Caprice, please. Duncan suddenly suggests that they make weapons in case whatever his dad almost hit comes back. It goes back to, and maybe we should listen to Duncan. Yeah, because it was a creature of some kind. Got just enough of a look.
He points out that the sun has set, so it's officially Krampusnacht, the night of Krampus. Taylor starts to tell his son that Krampus is a load of old German bullshit, but he's interrupted when he's abruptly whipped by a chain. Grandpa's didn't like that. No, not at all. He falls to the ground in pain, dropping the flare, which sizzles in the snow.
His family drops down to him in concern and realizes that all across Taylor's gut, he's bleeding. When Diane points this out, Taylor is hurt and confused, wondering if he was shot. Diane admits that she doesn't know. And when Duncan starts. to wander off toward a red light cast in the snow. She tells him to come back. He is bleeding so much. It's so much worse than you think it is.
Of course, Duncan doesn't listen and he finds the source of the light. It's the flair that Taylor must have thrown when he was struck. Duncan picks it up and holds it over his head, reporting to his family that he got it. But the metallic jingling of a chain is heard and Duncan falls on his stomach before he's dragged away by his feet. Caprice and Diane scream and run over to where he was. leaving Taylor to groan and writhe in the snow. But they only find the flare once again drop.
Its resilience runs out when the flame burns down and Caprice and Diane are cast in darkness. They continue to call out for Duncan fearfully, but an unnatural silence is their only answer. Something lumbers at them. Grabbing Caprice's arm. But it's only Taylor struggling to stay on his feet. He asks where Duncan is. And sobbing, Diane has to admit that she doesn't know. She takes out her phone, crying that they need the police. priest reminds her that there's no service out here.
Something in the trees interrupts her, letting out a horrific roar. Caprice tells her parents to run, and she helps her father along as he limps. But Diane stays for just a moment, whimpering her son's name before following out. After Caprice and Taylor. This is all Duncan's fault. Absolutely. 1000%. And if you had any doubts, just so you know, the subtitles do say Krampus Roaring. Yeah. I wonder what's out here with this. Yeah.
But the plot is thickening at the North Pole. Santa walks down the abandoned hall in his factory, past a tiny bloody handprint on the wall and into the elevator. Hopefully he doesn't get stuck and someone in there is also the devil. I hope for him. You're floundering. Yeah. That was two weeks ago. Not in my heart it wasn't.
But once he steps inside, he's greeted with an easy listening version of Silent Night, Holy Night. But he stands in front of the open doors, staring out into the empty hallway when he hears a low, rasping breath. suddenly sparkles come sprinting out from around the corner santa calls out to her as the elevator doors begin to close but sparkles she ain't what she used to be she rasps out a snarl her face bloody and to accommodate sharp, jutting teeth.
The tape measure is still draped over her shoulders and she makes it to the elevator doors in time to stop them from closing. Santa begs her to stop, but she growls and reaches out for him and their commotion draws even more elves who rush over. Santa is able to kick Sparkles out, but the other elves rush inside the elevator before the doors can close. Sparkles and another elf are left on the outside to scratch at the closed door.
Downstairs, snow swirls in a dance along the floor before the elevator doors open. Santa stands triumphant and stoic, the head of his staff dripping with blood and dismembered, slain, and groaning elves in a heap at his feet. feet is this an old boy reference i was gonna ask okay because it sure the fuck felt like one and i'm giving this movie two extra points
But it did feel like it. Yeah. And he's going through it. Yeah. Yeah. It's Christmas Eve. We were just eating cookies. Everything was fine. Yeah. Yeah. But shiny was always sick. So he's always sick. Yeah. From the start. Ah! But he steps out of the elevator and walks up to shiny where he fell after he was hurled through Santa's office window. He lies on the ground bloody. And although his body is broken, his spirit is not. And at the side of.
Santa, he calls him a Christmas cunt and promises to eat his fucking brains out. He continues to threaten him as Santa eyes a long bloody trail leading to where shiny is. Shiny, where did you learn this language? We never taught you that. The North Pole, there is no profanity. No, especially not this. This is wild. Things that we wouldn't even say. So it's like we're robots handling. I get it.
He looks down at the elf with pity and offers an apology as Shiny bares his teeth and snarls at him. Santa tells him that he knows it's not his fault, but all the same, he raises his staff. Shiny grasps at him. at Santa, swearing that he doesn't have the Christmas balls, but Santa does. He brings the staff down hard, and we see Shiny's injured and bloody hand spasm with the impact.
Shiny's groans and threats immediately go silent, and as Santa writes his staff, he looks down at his fallen friend. But at the radio station, Dangerous Dan is telling his loyal listeners that it's getting down to the countdown for Christmas, and he's pulling his annual double to stay with us until the very end. A muffled voice speaks up from the headphones in front of him, and he hurries to put them on, realizing that it's time to check in with Storm and Norman at the charity food drive.
He calls out to Norman, but he gets the squealing of feedback in return. Dan reports that he can't hear Norman very well. And when an offscreen Susan apparently questions if he's pushed the button, he assures her that he did before muttering for her to push. your own button.
But the feedback whines loud enough for Dale to yell out and pull the headphones away from his ear. Abandoning his quest to check in with Norman, he apologizes to the listeners, chalking the bad connection up to those winter weather technical difficulties. He chuckles that he bets there's too many reindeer in the atmosphere. And instead, he proposes they put another eggnog on the fire before correcting himself. No, let's throw another log on the fire and pour yourself another egg.
He sends some good Christmas vibes to Susan, who is seriously harshing his buzz right now. By the time he invites us to listen to the holly jolly classic, the first Noel, it's playing through the radio in the Peter's living room where Scott still dozes on the couch. He wakes as the music swells and looks over at the tree to. find that every single gift has been unwrapped.
He quickly sits up, his eyes scanning over the mess in disbelief, but he stops when he sees something shattered on the floor next to the ripped paper reading to my beautiful wife with endless love. And he yells out, you little shit. He bursts into Will's bedroom, but he finds the sheets rumpled and the bed empty. When he calls out for his son, Kim comes in asking what's wrong. Scott demands to know where Will is, searching under his bed and yelling out his name.
suddenly appears in the doorway behind Kim. Kim tries to stop Scott from lunging at him, but is promptly pushed out of the way. Scott kneels down to his son's level and grabs his arm, asking pointedly if he opened those presents. Will just looks up at him, prompting Scott to scream at him. Say something. Kim hisses Scott's name and wraps her arms around her son. But Scott has had enough. He stands up and starts to unfasten his belt, asking Will if he thinks this is a game.
Kim asks what he's doing, but with his belt and his clenched fist, it's clear. Scott looks down at Will, demanding that he say something, but with Kim behind his back, Will's face brightens into a wide smile. Scott tells Kim to look at their son he thinks this is one big fucking joke Kim scolds Scott again, and when he raises the belt, she shields her son, blocking Scott with her body. But Scott pushes her off and onto the floor and proceeds to beat Will with the belt.
Kim screams for him to stop before pulling Will away and holding him. She yells at Scott that she knew this would happen. He refused to see a doctor because he said he could handle it. But struggling to find the words, Scott stammers out a question. asking if she really didn't see what he just did.
But cradling her son, Kim tells Scott to get out. Scott lets out a sigh before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him. And he goes into the dining room to pour himself a drink, wincing when he downs it in one. swallow i thought she meant leave the house yeah yeah not go in the next room and get drunker scott is stressing me out yeah
I do want to say I'm a little confused. I do understand this isn't a way to handle problems with your children. No. But I am confused that she was just complaining about, well... And she was like, look, this dude was in the shower. This dude was like something's wrong with them. Yeah. But now she's like, no, don't hit him. It's like, hold on. I mean, you shouldn't be doing that. Yeah.
It is a little kind of like, well, wait a minute. Do you think something's wrong with them? That it is your kid or it's not your kid? Or do you just believe it's just your son? Well, I think that it's like... compounding it because she wanted to talk about it earlier and he's like no let's get it in yeah like no or there's something wrong with her son and he's like i'm going to the living room and now he's like beating him you know
I just I feel like there are a lot of almost like start and stop when it comes to Kim and this kid's behavior. Yeah, I agree. I think that her. instinct and need to just protect him in that moment overshadowed anything that could be going on with him okay this is not about will right now this is about scott right now yeah you know what i mean
But Kim is tucking Will back into bed, asking if he's all right. He doesn't answer her, but she leaves him in his bed to go answer the ringing phone on his desk. When she answers, a deep voice on the other end asks if it's the Peters household. after Kim confirms this he asks got yourself a nice Christmas tree did you
Kim wants to know who she's speaking with, and we see that it's Big Earl out in the dark, the cold forming his words into foggy shapes when he speaks. He tells her that she doesn't know him, but she can consider him a concerned neighbor. He says that she was on his land, took one of his trees, and he saw her license plate. Kim sighs and asks what he wants, but Big Earl asks about Will. How is he?
Big Earl's got some connections that he can from your license plate get your phone number. But let's breeze past that, I guess. He asks, did something happen to Will in the grove? Kim looks over at her son who lies under his blankets, his head nestled into the pillow. She stands, eager to end the conversation. But Big Earl interrupts her to repeat himself. I said, did something happen to your boy? Will eyes his mother as she shares that Will got lost, but they found him. But Big Earl asserts.
No, you didn't. He tells Kim, who turns to stare at Will in the bed, that he's still lost. Big Earl tells her that she doesn't have a lot of time, so she needs to do what he says. Bring the changeling back to the forest where she lost Will. Kim questions, changeling? She asks what that is, but Big Earl only reiterates, ma'am, that ain't your son. You let it hear you say changeling. Oh my God. That's just rookie day one stuff, dude.
Kim looks back at Will again, but he just turns in his bed away from her, which did make me laugh. Please let me go on to bed. Better soak this up while I can. Kim tells Big Girl decidedly, don't call again. Big Girl begs her to wait, but Kim hangs up the phone. God damn it, Kim! We glide down the hall at St. Joseph's before joining the teens back in the storeroom, just like you wanted to. Oh, yeah.
Dylan sits sleeping in a chair, his head crooked to one side. Similarly, one of the nativity mannequins has its head tilted. Ben sleeps on the floor, too, under the staring eyes of one of the other mannequins.
A bright light shines in Dylan's face, jolting him awake. He shields his eyes, and although the holder of the light isn't visible to him, he asks if it's Molly. When the glare subsides, we see that it is her, staring blankly forward as she... holds up the flashlight Dylan asks if she's okay because they were worried about her when she doesn't answer He asks again if she's okay, but her eyes wide and unfocused. Molly tells him to just come because she has something to show him.
She turns and immediately walks out of the room. Dylan lingers, shining a light on Ben and asking if he should wake him up. But Molly has already left the room. I don't care what Molly has planned. Wake the other boy. Yeah. Because clearly this is something that we all need to be a part of. Yeah. And we also shouldn't be leaving our friends alone and unconscious and clearly haunted.
We watch over Dylan's shoulder as he follows Molly down the hall. And when he turns a corner, he barely has time to see her entering a room and closing the door behind her. Still, Dylan follows, unbothered by her sudden strange behavior. but he finally sees that she has led him to the room where Connor and Jenna were found. She stands with her back to him between the two beds, humming and pulling off her sweater and then the shirt underneath.
she sits on the bed in her undershirt the long socks that were beneath her skirt gone she tilts her head and levels a look at him Dylan asks if she's serious, and in response, Molly grabs him by the belt and pulls him over to her. He's like, whoa, okay, as she starts to unbuckle his belt. But after a moment, he finally stops her. tells her gently that this isn't going to happen and he reminds her that he has a girlfriend.
It took too long. It did take too long, but I wasn't expecting him to stop her. Yeah, because they are supposed to be teens. True. And that's true. I wasn't expecting it either, but it still took too long. It did take too long. He kneels down to make eye contact with her and finally acknowledges her strange stare. Dylan tells Molly that he thinks she might be in shock or something.
Molly's dazed stare breaks and she looks over to the crucifix hanging on the wall. It begins to rattle, vibrating against the wall where it rests. We cut to the front of St. Joseph's, but it's only a picture. It's pulled away to reveal a file from the police service records department. Scott opens the file and the yearbook photos of Connor and Jenna look up at him. He looks through the newspaper.
headlines like gruesome deaths leave town reeling teen deaths shock bailey downs but in the bedroom kim is looking up changelings on her laptop it is depicted as a drawing of a shadowy and surly looking troll in the article Kim sees the mention of a human child
While Scott continues flipping through the case file with a bottle of liquor and a gun on the table next to him, Kim continues to research. She sees depictions of trolls residing under bridges, a sketch of a changeling making away with a baby carrier. scott looks at the picture of connor crucified on the wall blood smeared beneath his punctured hands he pours himself another drink
We zoom in on his glass and his hands as he does this. And when we pan out, we see Will standing in the doorway, shrouded in shadow, except for the two bright dots of his eyes blinking. So I had the timing wrong as far as that shot was concerned. Yeah. But I still think I stand by what I was saying with what we are doing as far as the escalation of seeing this kid as the changeling.
Yeah. I think we should have seen that earlier. Yeah. And then this here, after we have all this information about the changeling. Yeah. You're totally right. Yeah. I'll agree with you there. And would that count as a research scene? Yes. Okay. Absolutely. Scott is none the wiser, but when he hears ghostly whispers, he peers over his shoulder, but Will is no longer there.
Still, Scott gets up to investigate. He looks down the now empty hallway and calmly calls out for his son. Of course, no one responds, but Scott continues forward, asking if that was him. He finally gets to the bathroom. finds it empty, but we peer out at him from behind the shower curtain. He peeks into his son's bedroom. Standing in the doorway, he is filled with shame when he sees what he believes to be his son under the blankets in his bed. He apologizes for losing his head like that.
Meanwhile, Kim is looking increasingly worried as she reads on her laptop that a changeling is a creature that takes the form of a human child. His eyes wet with tears. Scott stands in his son's doorway, admitting that he's been stressed lately, but he's trying. He's trying to be better. I understand that Kim is taking on a lot.
In this moment and the moments previous. But after getting that phone call from Big Earl. Yeah. Researching all of this stuff on your laptop. You gotta bring Scott in. Yeah. unless she just thinks he's too far gone. I mean, I don't know. Too far gone to let him get killed by this changeling? Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, hold on. That's not like that. I was saying that he wouldn't believe her, that he wouldn't listen. I don't know. I'll figure this out in a minute.
He grips the knob and pulls the door closed before returning to his drink in the other room. He grimaces again when he drinks it down but he doesn't see that behind him Will is crawling inching along on the ceiling and he turns those bright. In the bedroom, Kim reads about the need of a changeling to infiltrate the right family. And when she hears a thud somewhere else in the house, she gasps.
Kim starts down the hall toward the living room where the Christmas music is growing louder. She's probably going to tell Scott right now. Sure. She calls out for her husband, but he doesn't answer. And when she finally reaches the dining area where Scott just stood, she finds the chair overturned and uncooked pasta spilled on the floor.
Thinking quickly, she makes a detour to the closet to arm herself with a baseball bat before returning to the living room. She keeps her head on a swivel, investigating the room, but she covers her mouth in somewhat mild horror when we see... Yeah, that's true. But she turns toward the tree and there's Scott, adorned with Christmas lights, his belt wrapped around his neck and his hand cut off.
The Christmas music gives way to something darker and more ominous as something within the tree shakes and growls. Kim sprints away. And there is some revenge in the method of murder. Oh, yeah. With the hand in the belt. Yeah. And if she didn't believe before, you've got to believe now. Oh, yeah. Will didn't do that. No.
In the woods, Caprice spots a church. She tries to pull her dad toward it, begging him to hurry. But when he loses his footing, Diane picks him back up and the three of them run into the church. They stumble inside, gasping for air, and Caprice immediately slides a stick between the door handles. Taylor continues to groan in pain as the three of them hide in one of the pews. Later, Diane peers out the window before turning to...
Taylor and asking if he thinks he can walk because they need to go find Duncan. Taylor is still in bad shape and we can see how bloody his jacket is in the light of the candle and the small lamp next to him. Taylor asserts that he can go, but Caprice tells him that he can't. She tells her mother that they have to stay here. There's something still outside. But Diane reminds her daughter that Duncan is out there alone.
Caprice has to ask what if it really is Krampus? She insists that they have to stay in the church until sunrise. What if it is Krampus? Nobody thought it. Yeah, but who chain whipped your husband's gun? Like, not only that. That would be funny. I do want to ask, and it was very, not like a big thing, but okay, we are in this church.
Does Krampus have to follow those rules? Because his enemy is Santa. It's not Jesus or God. That's true. He's not in the Bible. There isn't something like... So does he have to follow by these rules? Or to him, is it just another house? Well, I mean, yeah. Well, because I don't think... i don't know that i've ever is krampus like considered evil i mean i don't know i mean he's maintaining the balance yeah i mean yeah i don't know But I have a guess as to whether this building can stop him.
Diane counters that that's insane and Caprice can only agree that it is. But the word church has activated Taylor. He says suddenly that they need to confess their sins and he's suddenly sure that he's not making it to sunrise. he's lost too much blood and he has lost a lot of blood
Diane scoffs at this and walks away, but Taylor isn't done. He says that they need to get past that thing outside. They say that it hunts the wicked. So maybe if they confess, they can absolve themselves of their sins. Diane, who is. back at the window again only adds that that is ridiculous but Caprice's hands fly to her pocket as she admits I stole this she holds up the lighter and admits that she stole it from Aunt Etta's
Diane comes back over to them as Caprice shares that she doesn't know why she did it. She can't really help herself, but she promises that she's not as bad as other kids with the sex and the drugs and the cutting. She looks at Diane sincerely, repeating that she doesn't do that. She just steals stuff, but it's just stupid stuff. She apologizes.
Diane says that even if it is Krampus outside, confessing their sins won't help because it took Duncan and Duncan is innocent. Let me start right there. I've known Duncan for about 10 minutes and I know that that's not true. But Caprice has to counter. No, he wasn't. She asks, what do you think happened to all of our pets?
I got to say, look, obviously, Duncan is the evil one with everything that she's about to say. Yeah. But why would you keep this to yourself? That's a good question. Yeah. We all need to know this information. Yeah. Diane's eyes widen in shock as she looks from her daughter to her husband but she's had enough of this. She asserts that she's going outside by herself.
She starts toward the doors, but Caprice's words stop her. The day that their cat disappeared, Caprice found Duncan in the garage with a garbage bag. Taylor stares between Caprice and Diane in horror, but Caprice isn't done. Duncan had blood all over his hands and he was smiling. Diane is adamant that that isn't true, but then she turns on Taylor. This is all his fault. If only he'd spent more time with Duncan, but all he cares about is his stupid, precious business.
Taylor chuckles darkly that there is no business. Bioplex has been dead for years. I was like, this family. The skeletons. He just raises money to pay the debts and keep everything going. Bleeding profusely, enough to leave a trail leading to the pew. Taylor admits that it's all going to come crashing down. Etta was his last hope.
She thinks he's a swindler and he realizes that she's probably right. He tells Diane that he's so sorry they're going to lose everything and he's going to jail. What is going on? It's a lot of revelations. Yeah. Diane starts to question why he would do this, but Taylor tells her simply that it was the only way he could keep her. He's like, come on, a guy like me with a woman like you?
He confesses that he wanted to give her nice things and a nice home and to give her a life that she deserves. Surprised, Diane whispers that she just thought he wasn't interested anymore. But to the contrary, Taylor shares that. he did it all for her. Diane begins to cry, but she also can't help but laugh. Taylor chuckles with her, adding a sarcastic Merry Christmas. Diane starts to apologize, but after the rattle of a chain, the windows behind Taylor shatter.
His hopeful smile dissolves when a chain wraps around his neck and pulls him away from his wife. Krampus does not like this, dude. And you gotta give it to Krampus. That aim is pretty incredible. He's been doing this for a while. Ha ha ha. But damn, to be going through all of that, then you hear your parents say this shit and it's like, oh, you guys were like having problems. Problems, problems, yeah. And I got to say, what is Diane's crime? What is Diane's thing?
she that's a good question yeah she seems like she's just around like a bunch of thieves and serial killers and training and shit but she seems all right and fraud yeah Diane can only scream as Taylor is pulled backwards through the window. She arms herself with a fire poker and she and Capri start toward the window. But when the front door begins to rattle, they seek refuge in a confession booth.
mother and daughter crowd into the small booth trying to quietly catch their breath diane comforts caprice bidding her to be quiet but when they peek into the church through the sheer curtains there's nothing there but the moment is broken by the sound of splinter The booth begins to shake and Caprice and Diane silence their panic. Diane holds her daughter, assuring her and encouraging her to be quiet. But after a moment, Caprice shares in a shaking voice. that there's something on her leg.
When they look down they see a long and slick tongue has made its way into the booth and slithers toward them. Diane raises the poker and bravely brings it down puncturing the tongue. The beast outside roars and rips its tongue back out of the booth. Diane cradles her daughter's face and tells her that she loves her before telling her to run.
They burst out of the booth and into the church where Diane insists that Caprice run back to Etta's. But she stands brave and defiant in front of Krampus, played by Rob Archer, who takes menacing steps toward her. towering over her with his long white hair and twisted horns. He growls as he lunges for her, and Diane only has time to scream, but it's cut short. We see Caprice's reaction as she cries out for her mother.
Campus holds Diane's limp body in his grip as his long tongue dangles over her. But he looks up at Caprice, bright red blood painting his snow white face as he roars. Again, as far as Diane is concerned, she was even willing to sacrifice herself for her thieving daughter. And Krampus gives her a really, really horrible death.
yeah yeah that's kind of i would like to know was she killing people i mean she was kind of mean but like that doesn't yeah it doesn't deserve this like well she enabled her son yeah well rob archer he did ant-man and the wasp in 2018 an incident in a ghost land in 2018 as well oh that movie uh yeah i i we need to talk about incident that goes yeah yes
And I do like this Krampus design. I just don't think it's as scary as the Krampus in Krampus. No. For sure. This one is really good looking and it's beautiful to look at. but I don't get as menacing or scary. You know what I mean? It is scary, but I feel like the look of the Krampus in Krampus, that's fucking terrifying. Yeah. Yeah, it is a little more unsettling. Yeah. For sure.
krampus i feel like the design is very clean yeah yeah but he just i mean he's a hulking brute which is kind of not what i think of when i think of krampus yeah well i wanted to talk a little bit about this Krampus design and about Rob Archer so the stunt supervisor Paul Rapowski recommended Rob Archer for Krampus because he only knew one guy that was this big this agile and this tough All right. So Rob Archer is six foot six.
And he dieted down to 4% body fat to play Krampus. Good Lord. He said that everything below Krampus's neck is his real body. There is no prosthetic. There's nothing. That's Rob Archer. Damn. And he said that he trained so hard, but when you get down to 4% body fat, you look strong, but you are exhausted. There's no energy. He said that they have him. I mean, we see him later. He's.
Being very agile, he's running around. They have him in a loincloth and below freezing weather. They said he was down for anything. Jeez. But he said that he channeled a combination of a cougar, a cobra and a Marvel superhero to play this Krampus. and that whatever is in film is on film forever he said that he gave it everything that he had he did his absolute best because he wanted to look back on this performance in 20 years and know that he gave it everything okay
And you, I mean, you have to respect it. Yeah. And he does really, really well. He does. But Amro Atiyah did the design for Krampus. They did work on ABCs of Death, Silent Hill and Splice. Oh, wow. So Atiyah came up with the concept for Krampus's design and David Scott brought it to light. He worked on Jason X and the Black Coat's daughter. Oh, another. Yeah. Great Christmas horror film. I'm ready. I need to watch it. But David Scott.
weirdly had always wanted to work on something with Krampus. He had always wanted to make a Krampus design and he was so excited that he floated the idea of maybe he could play Krampus. What? That's pretty bold. It's like, I've always wanted to do this. And you know what? In fact, maybe I could play him too. And not just for the film. is this cramp but one of the producers mark smith was like he's shorter than me
He said, we've already got a six foot six guy to play Krampus. So they let him cameo as one of the elves that gets killed. One of the zombie elves. Oh, wow. So I thought that was cool. And just one last thing about the makeup. Rob Archer said that the three artists that worked on him specifically were Larissa Palaszczuk, Tracy Loder, and Emily Skoggard. He said that his body was so broad, they were like, we've never done this before. But they literally went to Home Depot.
got paint rollers wow because they weren't adding anything to his body they were just painting it so they literally painted him with paint rollers okay And his head and his face were applied layer by layer. He said the first application took them nine hours. Oh, wow. Then it was eight and a half. He said that he worked for four or five days. And by that last day, they got it down to seven and a half.
hours but that it's still a full day of work in makeup before he starts work damn yeah but like we said he did a great job yeah But at St. Joseph's, Ben is still asleep on the floor next to the mannequin of a newborn baby Jesus when Molly strides into the room holding both her and Dylan's flashlights. That is a bad sign. Yeah.
She turns the beams on Ben who winces at the brightness. He wakes, asking for her to move the lights. When he sees that it's Molly, he asks what happened to her. They couldn't wake her up, but Molly doesn't respond. It is wild to me, though, that she had this seizure and couldn't regain consciousness and he and Dylan just went to bed. Yeah. They just went to sleep. But anyway. Well, it's really cold down here. Yeah. You know, it's hard.
She drops the flashlights and pulls up a chair next to the candles that are still burning on the floor. She turns the chair and hikes up her skirt before sitting on it backwards like a cool teacher. what i'm talking about just trying to get on our level yeah they just want to rap with us for a minute
Ben eyes her uneasily and asks if she isn't cold like that. But Molly just shakes her head while fixing him with her stare. She leans forward in her chair, twirling her hair casually. And when Ben asks where Dylan is, she answers him. simply in the room Ben is like that room but Molly only gives him a knowing look Ben asks what he's doing in there and Molly sidesteps the question, saying that Dylan wanted her to join him, but she wanted to stay here with Ben.
Confused, Ben pulls himself to his feet, but Molly stands and turns the chair around. She pushes Ben down onto it and stands in front of him, hiking her skirt up again before straddling him. Ben's breath comes in shudders when he...
asks her if she's sure. But Molly just leans in to ask him in his ear. This is what you want, isn't it? But her voice sounds like two people and Ben does not notice. Yeah, he's too horned up to you, Ben. I was gonna say all the blood has left his head. Well, that head. All right. Continue. Decorum is just go.
Instead, he sighs as he runs his hands along her hips. Molly raises herself up to unzip his pants. And when she sinks back down, the showing of the flesh commences. The room is silent except for Ben's shaky breath. and the squeaking of the chair and Ben finishes under the watchful eyes of the creepy ass nativity scene mannequins. Yeah. So many witnesses. Too many.
But as soon as he does, Molly stands up and backs away. She stares at Ben, finally coming back to herself. Ben quickly zips up his pants, but Molly pulls her skirt back down and looks at herself at the smear of blood on her under. shirt and she asks him what the fuck did you do to me Ben is like what did I do to you
The strange whispering starts again from the hallway, and Ben asks who's there, if it's Dylan. He gets up to go investigate as Molly stands stunned, her hand clamped over her mouth as she fixates on the blood on her shirt. Ben arms himself with the staff and despite Molly telling him not to, he ventures out into the hallway.
But at the Peters house, Scott is still slumped dead in the corner wrapped in Christmas lights. Kim is hiding in the bathroom and she calls Big Earl back. He answers with the presumption that she's ready to listen now. Trembling and still holding onto the baseball bat, she asks him what she's supposed to do. Big Earl tells her to listen good. She has to bring the creature back to the grove, but she has to be careful. It won't go willingly now that it's tasted human pleasures.
Crying. Kim asks, what about Will? Big Earl tells her that the only way is to bring the changeling back, but she can't let it know her intentions. It senses things and it can't feel threatened. Big Earl tells her that he'll be waiting before abruptly ending the call. Kim still calls out hello, but he's already gone. I will say I'm a little pissed off at Big Earl. You understand everything about these changelings. You knew enough to call my house. Yeah. You should be here.
Well, there's a reason. I don't know how good of a reason it is. Stealing herself, she slowly walks into the living room where the thing pretending to be Will sits in front of the Christmas tree. Her husband is still dead next to it. But Kim, despite the tears running down her face, tries to prepare.
her face for an interaction with the changeling but as she gets closer we get a musical sting when it's revealed that the changeling is playing with Scott's disembodied hand He's trying to pull off the wedding ring, but he stops when Kim asks in as calm a tone as she can manage if he wants to go for a ride. The changeling doesn't respond, and Kim walks toward the door in a measured pace. But when she turns around, she's startled to find it right behind her. No response except...
trilling like one of those aliens from signs. He's not even trying to hide anymore. She knows. I've killed your husband. Well, yeah. Was that big girl on the phone? They're signs. Damn it. Yeah, seriously. Kim is still gripping the baseball bat as she steps toward the changeling and it backs away. She proposes that they can go outside and have some fun together.
It's clear that the changeling isn't buying it. And just as it growls and begins to lunge at her, Kim swings the bat and hits it in the head. When it goes down, Kim sprints and hides behind a corner, trying to catch her breath. When she doesn't hear anything, she comes back out, looking around the room for the creature disguised as her son. He's nowhere to be seen, but suddenly he drops from the sea. ceiling onto her back.
kim screams and tries to shake him off but the changeling buries his teeth into the crook of her neck kim screams in pain backing up to hit the creature against the wall again and again and with a spin she's able to shake it off He glides across the table and Kim is able to grab the bat again. It sprints toward her, but Kim knocks it down with the bat and she swings it again and again. Kim catches her breath and looks down at the container of spilled pasta on the floor.
floor the wind howls outside as the snow swirls at the north pole You know, I'm thinking more and more, there could have been a more cunning way to trick that changeling into doing something. Yeah. No, beat it with the bat. Yeah, I guess. I mean, even a trail of spaghetti would have worked, I think. It really, really enjoyed that. spaghetti because all pretense is gone we know what this thing is yeah so why are we like hey buddy
I want to go for a ride. It's like, no. She tried. You tried, but he's playing with your dead husband's aunt. Yeah. He doesn't know how humans act. No. He's trying. Some people have pizza and champagne. Some people play with disembodied handshuckers. I mean, it's your tradition. Tomato, tomato, you know?
Santa makes his way through the building past a bag of letters strewn on the floor but when he passes the bag something within it moves and once Santa's back is to it we see an elf's bloody hand slide out of it. The silhouette of the elf And just as it runs away, Santa turns his head in that direction, but too late to see anything. A recording of the 12 days of Christmas slowly begins, distorted at first, but finding its tempo as the elf rushes at Santa.
But with the swing of a staff, the elf is swiftly decapitated. But chaos quickly ensues. Another infected elf jumps on Santa's back, growling before sinking its teeth into Santa's neck. Yet another elf rushes over, biting Santa's staff. Santa is able to shake off the one on his back.
And he punches the other elf in the face. But when it comes running back at him and stabs him through his shoes with scissors, we see that it sparkles. She cackles in triumph. But Santa has been untethered and his rage knows no bounds. Hicks sparkles in the face, sending her flying across the room. A myriad of once merry elves attack Santa, but he's able to impale one on his staff and raise it, pinning the elf to the ceiling. He implores them to come on.
calling them little devils and whooping their asses with his staff. He chops off arms, splits heads, decapitates. And when his staff is taken away from him, he improvises. He pushes down furniture, squashing one elf's... head he slices another's off with a paper cutter cutting them down one by one until he stands alone catching his breath i had i had two things going on with this sequence
Naya's often said when it comes to a lot of action sequences and movies that her eyes just start to glaze over. And I will admit that I was feeling, I was like, this segment's just not for me at all. But there was something interesting that I did know.
that i think will come into play a little bit later okay there are a couple of shots and a couple of small moments in the music selling the gravity of the deaths of these elves yeah and it is kind of interesting especially with with what comes later yeah but yeah i was kind of feeling that i i really like this that's my note he's kicking ass no it's chaos yeah But someone is standing in the doorway and Santa can only say you again.
It's Jingles snarling at him. He runs to Santa, but Santa quickly trips him. He takes the head of one of the decapitated elves and beats Jingles with it until the snarling stops. Only the distorted sound of the 12 days of Christmas remains as the snow swirls around Santa from the open loading dock door. Santa stoops to pick up his bloody staff.
At the radio station, Dangerous Dan reports chaos down at the mall. Police and emergency vehicles are at the scene, but he admits that they don't really have an idea of what's going on, and they still don't have word from Storm and Norman. but he's sure that a crusty old bird like Norman will be fine.
He says that they do give Norman a hard time around here, but he's the weatherman. And he thinks that Norman has a master's from Columbia or something depressing like that. He says that they do love him, though. So he implores Normie to.
check in as soon as he can in the meantime though Dan picks up a bottle and reminds the listeners that it's his job to keep the Christmas spirit alive and that's exactly what he's gonna do he's giving the next Yuletide tune a spin and the song begins to play as he drinks deeply from the bottle.
So I will say I did mention earlier this idea of maybe having the segments kind of cut up a little bit. Yeah. And segmented off in sections all their own. And I still think that that might have worked better for me. But then I think that the escalation and everything.
going on with Dan and all the stuff that he's saying it kind of really only works if we're all leading to one thing yeah but I just I don't know there's still something that's just unsatisfying to me about the way that it's cut you're like I still don't like it I'm struggling with myself. But Kim has made it to the woods. She wears a coat over her pajamas, holding a lantern out in front of her and dragging a heavy bag behind her. She finds the hollowed tree and calls out, hello.
There's strange snarling sounds in the woods. And when Big Earl turns on the light to a snowmobile, Kim takes out her gun.
Big Earl tells her not to point that thing at him. He goes over, assuring her that it's okay and she can put the gun down. Indicating the bag, Kim tells him that she's brought it. Big Earl delivers a swift kick to the bag, asking the... changeling what's the matter with you the snarling comes from the bag as well as the wood surrounding them and kim swings the gun around pointing out that there are so many of them out there but big earl once again assures her that it's okay when
He's here. They're afraid of him. He knows how to herd them and he herds them good. He shares that the trolls have been on their land for generations and he kind of watches over them. He thanks Kim for bringing this one back to him because it would have sensed him coming from miles away. So that's why he couldn't help.
yeah okay could be weaponizing weaponized incompetence yeah could be true well but at the same time they're afraid of me and they know i know how to herd them yeah but if he knew i was coming he would have ran away yeah so it's like i don't know man Tears cut tracks in Kim's face and she reminds him of their deal. She brought the changeling like she said. Now where's her son? But Big Earl admits, I don't know.
Kim begins to panic, but Big Earl's attention is back on the bagged creature. He screams at it that it keeps running off, and now look at what it's done. Kim begs him, asking where Will is. But big girl just maintains that the little devils never listen, no matter how much he talks. I don't give a fuck. I don't care about your...
Complicated relationship with these trolls. Yeah. And also they don't listen, but they're terrified of you. Yeah. What the fuck? You're just a liar. Yeah. You're lying to us all night. Kim takes a look around and sees dozens of creatures watching them from the trees, their eyes glowing in the darkness. They growl as Big Earl unzips the police duffel bag and the troll changeling, also played by Joe Salvaggi.
pops out it's head pale and misshapen it still wears will's pajamas as it clings to a tree kim says again that she just wants her son back and big girl sympathizes he wishes he could help but he can't it's not up to him you're in charge or you're not yeah i don't understand he doesn't understand
Kim says that he lied to her. That creature killed her husband. The changeling hisses at Kim and she points her gun at him. Big girl raises his own rifle at Kim, warning her not to hurt it. He yells at Kim to put the gun. down and kim turns the scratches the changeling etched into her face catching the light of the lantern she fires hitting big earl in the chest and causing herself to fall backwards Big Earl falls to the snow, still and bleeding.
This made me laugh out loud because they did not get coverage of Big Earl falling. There is not a shot of him falling. So you just see him get shot and then the next shot is him just dead on the ground. It's really funny to me. The changeling looks at Big Earl and back at Kim, one of its eyes purple and swollen shut.
Kim cowers in the snow, lowering her head as the changeling approaches. It kneels down to her, bringing its face close. Kim sobs, begging for her baby boy, and the changeling touches her face gently. It stands up and disappears into the hollow of the tree. Kim stays behind, sobbing in the snow, but she perks up when she hears a muffled coughing coming from inside the tree. Will peeks out, wearing a tank top and underwear, both completely white and completely clean.
He goes over to his mother and she holds him tight, asking if it's really him. She sees that it is, and when Will coughs, she pulls off her jacket and wraps him in it. He admits sadly that he got lost, and she promises him that it's okay. as she picks up her son, kissing him, cradling him. They leave her home and their story is lost to us as the lantern beneath the twisted hollow tree goes dark. So...
Scott is still dead. Yeah, he's. Yeah. Yeah. But wouldn't it be kind of funny if this was just the changeling trying again? No joke. All he had to do is go into that tree and take off his pajamas. Yeah. I thought we were going to get some Michael Jackson thriller eyes. and vincent price's laughter yeah but i guess it seems that this is true this is will he's back everything's fine yeah this god this was a sweet wrap up and i was wondering why he was
why he didn't have clothes. And it made me laugh that they literally took his clothes back home. I mean, yeah. Yeah. You got to be convincing. Yeah. I was a little confused, though, too, or had a question because he's saying they're saying he's protecting them, but they're afraid of him. And he's like, I'm a herder, but I can't get close to.
because then they'll run away. That doesn't sound like you're a herder. You're not hurting them. It sounds like you're holding them hostage or something here. You're hurting them. Yes. Yeah, because she killed them and they're like, here, take your child. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't understand because they...
They were like, oh, you helped us. Here you go. But also, does that mean the Changelings can all just roam free outside of this land now? Look, I don't know what's going on. That's another problem? Yeah, we don't know. Steve Bannon is dead. I mean. Well, the guy looked like him. He looked a lot like him. He did.
I will say, too, with the story wrapping up and it kind of fading to black, it reminds me of like on Until Dawn when you finish one character's like thing and they live and it kind of just closes out or whatever. I was like, oh, we're wrapping up. Yeah. and that is another thing that's kind of like i don't know watching like four stories end at the same time like separately like boom boom but it's like i don't know we gotta move things forward man
But the darkness is broken when the sliding door at St. Joseph's bangs open when Ben pushes it to the side. He calls out in vain for Dylan, eyeing the room with the blood streaked hospital bed as he passes it. A light shines behind Ben as he hurries along. It's Molly following behind slowly. But when she passes the room with the hospital bed, it's not empty.
Grace, played by Jessica Clement, inhabits the bed. Her legs are splayed open and a nun sits in front of her. Grace screams and the nun turns to look at Molly in pure panic and confusion. The bottom of Grace's white gown is... a slick and angry red another nine juts out from behind the door and sneers at Molly before slamming it shut Grace shrieks And so this is a part of the haunting. Like they're seeing like the history of everything that had happened. I guess so. Yeah.
Ben calls out for Molly, and when she goes to the room where she left Dylan behind, Ben is horrified. He's found Dylan collapsed back on one of the beds, that previously rattling crucifix jutting straight out of his left eye. Ben turns back to the wall where the flashlight illuminates the message. Back again in fresh red blood. For unto us a child is born. Unto us a son is given.
Molly goes over to Dylan sobbing, but she and Ben stare at each other in horror when a baby's cries echo through the hallway. Ben jumps up and slams the door shut before turning the lock. He gulps and tries to catch his breath while Molly scans the room. She looks at the writing on the wall, at Ben, at Dylan. She realizes Grace wants me to carry her child. Ben doesn't understand, but Molly explains. Grace was the 15-year-old who tried to get rid of her baby. They're in her room right now.
Ben doesn't understand where Molly is getting this from. Molly rises to her feet, full of understanding. Connor and Jenna wouldn't help her, but Molly and Ben did. As her hand hovers over her belly, she tells him, I'm going to have her child. Ben is finally catching on. He tells her accusingly, you brought us down here. You fucked me and you killed Dylan.
The baby's cries, distorted and strange, echo again out in the hallway. But when they turn towards the door, the crying is coming from inside the room with them. They turn toward the windows where Grace stands, now pale and dead. The same girl we've seen skulking around the hall since we got down here. She cradles a limp and bloody baby.
Molly and Ben cower away from her, but Grace eyes them as she steps forward, looking first at Molly in her belly and then at Ben in the staff that he holds as a weapon. With this look, he is flung backwards onto the wall. where both arms are spread wide, just like Connors. He cries out for Molly to help him as his arms flail and twitch against the wall. Molly sobs as she cradles his face, but under Grace's vengeful eye, Connor's neck snaps and he falls still and silent, still suspended up.
on the wall and why did he die I don't know I think that maybe him holding the staff and yelling at Molly Grace thought that he was gonna hurt her And she is carrying the baby. He wasn't. If he was going to hurt anyone, it's you and you're a ghost. Yeah. I mean, she doesn't know. she's a ghost like because there's no reason this dude was brought down here on false pretenses thinking he's working on a project yeah really but at this point i was like
Was Molly in on this? I think, honestly. I don't know. Yeah. You know what could have been cool? We'll get to it in one second. What I would have added. to prove that she was or she wasn't. Because she was like, I don't think she was.
But I think it was the way that she had read that Bible verse. But then again, if she was in on it, she wouldn't have had to be possessed to do it. That's what makes me think that she wasn't. So maybe not. Because it kind of would have been cool if she was. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She leads them down here under the presumption that we're working on this project. Slowly more stuff starts coming out. She starts talking about this girl that died down here, about how this was a convent, about knowing her name. Like she just starts spilling. little bit more right but let me tell you what would really top it off for me okay all right
Molly continues to cry as she looks back at Grace with fear, but Grace just gazes at her. She reaches a bloody hand toward Molly's stomach and suddenly the door swings open. In shock, Molly walks out of the door and into the door.
darkness of the hallway leaving ben's body behind with grace and her baby the door to the rest of the school is open now and molly ascends the stairs with a sureness holding her hands over her stomach She walks past us, down the hall toward the front doors of St. Joseph, and as she goes, she begins to hum, and we fade to black.
Now, I don't think that the story that we're being told was that Molly was in on it. But I do think it would be a better story if Molly was in on it. And I think that when she leaves right now, it would have been really cool for her to reach into her skirt and pull out the key that unlocks this door. Okay, okay. So we would know, you know, she trapped them down there. Right. And especially, I mean, she's humming the song that Grace...
was singing that everybody heard. So it would feel, I mean, it would make the story much more, it would give it more depth. Yeah. It feels like it's almost one fit in, one fit out. as to what they were doing with Molly. Yeah. And I feel like it would be a better payoff for the line of him being like, you brought us down here. You fucked me. You killed this. Yeah. OK, then because we all know from watching it, she didn't like you're saying.
didn't have anything to do with it yeah but if that did happen then it would be like oh no he was right yeah and like you're saying the drip feeding of information it's under the guise of her being this like investigative
person yeah but it's really no i've done the research because yeah so yeah even when she's like grace he's like who like yeah that would you know that would have been cool that would have been a little bit cooler yeah because this is this is the one for me that i think you could
cut and it's fine i i get that i don't dislike it i feel like tonally it is completely different than the whole rest of the movie yeah um i think that even the changeling one had some really dark themes of like ptsd and like domestic violence and stuff but this one feels very kind of off from the rest of them yeah it doesn't really have like the any playfulness or any I mean I don't know but I I don't dislike it but maybe it is the weakest one
I think that's why it feels so jarring to cut from Santa cutting an elf's head off. Yeah. And then we're back in the basement in this story. I think whenever we had stories like, I mean, look at Creepshow. yeah who influenced this film apparently uh-huh we have them segmented to where imagine we're we're going from something to tide you over back to Geordie Verrill back to like it just the tones just do not meld okay
But outside, Krampus screeches as Caprice sprints back to Aunt Etta's mansion. She bangs on a door adorned with a giant cross, and the creature snarls behind her. But no matter how much she knocks or begs for Etta to let her in, She receives no response. Capri sprints around the house, looking in through windows at the darkness of the house inside. She begs Etta not to leave her out here. She begs for help, but she locks eyes with Krampus.
who stands in the shadows of the woods, and he shrieks as he rushes toward her. Panicked, Caprice tries to back away from him and falls. She scoots backward toward the pile of wood that Gerhardt was chopping. She picks up a thin branch and holds it out to protect herself. And Krampus runs right into it in the stick and... his neck.
He chokes as he tries to pull himself free, but Caprice takes this opportunity to grab a nearby can of gasoline and douse Krampus. Good thing that was there. Yeah. I don't know. Does somebody own the copyright to the word gasoline? It's like gas but cooler. She ignites the lighter that she stole from Aunt Etta and tosses it at Krampus with a Merry Christmas motherfucker.
The gasoline catches and Krampus goes up in flames. His facade withers, the horns retracting and his stark whiteness becoming human skin. He slowly transforms into Gerhardt, who stands in the midst of the flames. James screaming. And Caprice stares at this with disbelief. There is a chainsaw or something on the floor. I almost half expected her to pick that up. Yeah. No. No. Gasoline it is.
So was this like a grand reveal, a big surprise? I thought it was pretty cool. The story of Krampus, I've never heard it told as... The spirit being embodied by a person.
like grandpa's is his own thing well i've never heard of somebody like turning into him american dad yeah i was gonna say though but stan's dad didn't turn into him he did wow i'm a fucking liar so they stole you just forgot yeah they stole american dad they did that's that's a good point but yeah i i didn't think i didn't think
Yeah, I too. But that was happening. I'm tired. But no, honestly, I had forgot too. And I thought the same thing. I was like, well, I thought you were your own entity. Yeah. Well, I'm thinking like the Krampus from Krampus. Right, right, right, right. But later, Caprice stands in front of the fireplace in Aunt Etta's mansion, looking ponderingly at the little statue of Krampus. Etta comes in with teas for them, and she tells Caprice that it's almost dawn now. They'll be safe.
Caprice asks if they should try to fix the statue to trap Krampus inside again. Eda doesn't understand, but Caprice asks, isn't that how he got out when Duncan broke the statue? But Etta scoffs at this. That's just an ornament. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah. That was so good. Like the subversion of that. It was really fucking funny. It all, the timing of it all. Yeah.
Caprice questions how Gerhardt turned into it then and Etta explains that Krampus is a Christmas spirit and just like Caprice's dad said the Christmas spirit can fill anyone but if your heart is blackened with anger It was Gerhardt's anger that let it in. He was pissed. Yeah. Bye. And Caprice understands that that's when he came after them. She asks, so Etta kicked Gerhardt out after she kicked them out. Then she put the cross on the door to protect herself from Krampus. But Caprice...
Caprice realizes that's why Etta sent them away. She knew that Caprice's fucked up family would be shark bait. So she got rid of them. I thought it was going to be one of those things where like. I was trying to help you. Like, yeah, it came off as mean or whatever, but I was trying to get you away from here because I knew. She's like, no. No, fuck that. That's crazy.
Etta stammers that it's not like that, but Caprice doesn't believe her. She's adamant that Etta knew Gerhardt would turn, so she sent them away to make Gerhardt go after them. She cries that she sacrificed her family for Krampus to... save her selfish old ass. Etta begs her to calm down because she doesn't understand the forces she's playing with. The score grows dark as Caprice assures on Etta that she does and she knows something else too.
Caprice's eyes grow black and her skin pale. A strange snow spins around her and she begins to transform as she tells Etta what she knows in a new deep voice. You've been a bad girl. See, Etta, you pissed her off. You should have known. Oh, yeah. It was bound to happen. Caprice's Krampus rises tall and lets out an ear-splitting roar. We cut to the outside of Etta's mansion, where we hear her do the only thing she can, scream.
And it fades to black. I loved this ending to this story. I think it's pretty good. I loved it. It's all right. Really? I don't mind it. I think that I wish it would have went a different way. I like her turning into Krampus and then, like, I guess getting kind of revenge.
I just don't, I don't know. It's just something about like us seeing it. Maybe if she's like... fuck you Aunt Etta or whatever and then like the lights go out and then she comes back as some half Krampus half her or something I don't know I just felt like it was very just like Oh, so you're mad. Now you're Krampus and you're going to kill her. Okay, that's cool. I love that you guys are both like, I don't know what would be better, but I know I don't like this.
But at the radio station, Dangerous Dan reports that the police are telling people to stay away from the mall. He concedes that he knows a lot of people are worried about their friends and family. But the best thing they can do is stay put and hope. for a Christmas miracle. He pours himself another drink and continues sadly that there's still no report on how many hostages there could be. But he stresses his listeners, for the love of God, just stay home. on the end of his glasses.
We cut to a storage room where we glide in through the cracked doors. Santa creeps inside and spies a resilient elf sprinting away. He pulls an axe from the dead grip of one of the fallen elves and sets out after the remaining one. Here's something above. He calls. Is that you, dear? But no one responds. Santa climbs a flight of stairs into a storage area and he walks through the line shelves demanding to know who's there.
A bright light shines in his face and Santa has to avert his eyes, asking again, hopefully, if it's Martha. He continues toward the light, but his wife's voice speaks out from behind it. Whimpering, she tells him to leave her alone. Santa assures her that she's safe now it's over but Martha finally lowers the light for a second we see her contorted face as she slashes out at him with a knife declaring it's not over
Santa jerks back, but when he looks at us again in the bright light, we see the slash across his face. Santa turns the flashlight into his wife's face, and when he sees for sure that she's infected, he sobs. Oh my darling. Martha hides her face and whimpers before abruptly turning back at Santa, shrieking. She drops the flashlight and in silhouette, we watch as Santa breaks his wife's neck and brings his staff down onto her.
And now we cut to where we were at the beginning. Santa arming himself with the axe and staring at the rattling doors of the stables. Something just behind them lets out an ominous growl. Santa demands to know who's there, but the growling can. as does the rattling of the doors and finally they fly open and startled santa drops the axe when he looks back up he sees him armed with his chains krampus peers at santa
from beneath his twisted horns. He's busy tonight. Yeah. It's Christmas Eve. God damn. Santa realizes, I knew it. Krampus, the vile enemy of Christmas. As Krampus starts toward him. He gets an introduction. He's like, yes, yes. Just nodding. That's me. Santa grabs his staff, declaring that they end this tonight. In a series of attacks and sweet slow motion moves, Santa and Krampus fight.
Krampus gains the upper hand by wrapping his chain around Santa's staff and pulling it away. Krampus swings his chain again and wraps it around Santa's arm. Santa fights as hard as he can, but Krampus knocks him down, sending him crashing into his sleigh. is not laughing all the way. He groans as Chris. Very good. Thank you. A plus.
He groans as Krampus swings his chains again, wrapping it around Santa's leg. He drags him over, but Santa is able to kick the beast in the face. And when Krampus descends on him, Santa reaches the axe and swings. He slices off one of Krampus's horns and it shatters against the ground like ice. I will say before we move forward, they asked Rob Archer in one of those interviews what the hardest part of this role was. And he said that.
it was this scene this fight scene with santa he said that obviously we talked about the four percent body fat he is exhausted it is freezing cold they filmed this in an actual barn and he said it was 20 or 25 degrees below oh wow he's wearing almost nothing yeah and uh just fatigued exhausted and he said he was really whipping that
chain or i'm sure it wasn't real chain but yeah but he was really whipping it around and expected to hit his marks oh he was like that was the hardest part of all of this and i bet yeah i thought you were gonna say the hardest part was just beating up santa claus yeah just like emotionally it's your childhood hero But Krampus falls to the ground and Santa stands triumphant, raising his axe to bring it down. But he pauses when Krampus cries out, Norman, stop.
The rage twisting his features softens, and we see Krampus sob. Please don't kill me, Norman. Santa questions, Norman? Who's Norman? But now we see that Krampus isn't Krampus at all. It's a man in a button-down vest, a Christmas-themed tie, wearing decorative reindeer antlers, middle-aged man played by Glenn Gaston Sobs. What the fuck is... What is wrong with you, Norman?
Santa is still confused and when we see the man again, not only is he not Krampus, but they're not in a stable anymore. He cowers away from Santa and we see what he sees. It's not Santa. We're not in the North Pole. Norman. played by George Booza, lowers the axe, panting for air. He looks around at the mess around him, at a decapitated body lying on the ground, and finally, at the sign for the Christmas food drive.
This is such a twist that I never saw coming. Not at all. And the fact that we literally go from the North Pole at the very beginning. directly to the radio station where we meet norman yeah and i never even clocked that they're the same guy not at all at all not even a little bit it's a very good twist yeah i really enjoyed this they said that they had planned on adding the food drive starting at the beginning of the film so that it could
to kind of circle back and end in the same way but i feel like opening with santa and kind of mentioning the food drive the mall where's storm and norman oh my god there's shit popping off at the mall like i feel like there's such like once you know, glaringly obvious breadcrumbs that they're dropping to lead us to this point. Yeah. But it's done so well. I gasped. Yeah. I was like, I just. I was very fucking impressed. Everybody knows I love a twist.
This was just everything for me. I loved it. Yeah, this was I was not expecting that. And the first time I remember watching it, I remember that I know it had enough impact to where I remembered it. But watching it for the show and then like.
leading up to it and seeing every single little thing and paying attention again like both of y'all said this was fucking fantastic Something I do want to go back and see is if we can match up the music that he's putting on at the radio station to the music that we're hearing at the North Pole. Oh, yes, it would. Because there are these little sly clues throughout. Yeah. And I'm sure that's probably one of them. Yeah. It's just so well done. And when you know and you go back and watch it.
Like we said earlier about the recontextualizing of the story. What was really happening in that office when shiny got sick? Yeah. What? You know what I mean? Like what it. This is horrific. It's terrible. Well, it also makes you think of Mrs. Claus. Yes. What the fuck was happening there? Yes. The whole. Every all this time we spent with Santa and it's been a lot of time. Yeah. It literally changes everything. And it does. It takes like my least favorite story. Yeah. And gives it this perfect.
ending yeah that makes it make sense that's what i had told john paul because he had finished it and i came home from work and i had to finish the script and he's like so how are you liking it i was like i like it the santa one is just kind of not for me i was like i get what
it's fun but I don't really care for it and he was like oh really and I'm like I'm so glad that you didn't tip it at all like you just wait or anything you were just like oh yeah I can see that but yeah it was this was pure delight I loved it Something else that is kind of funny is like this film is basically saying, so that was not the real Santa Claus.
Krampus is real. Yeah. That shit happened. Yeah. Krampus was on Wyland tonight. Yes. That's a whole separate story. Well, that and the ghost story. Yeah. That stuff's real. That really happened in the changeling. The Antichrist is born or whatever and the changeling is real. Santa's fake. Santa's not real. But Krampus is.
There's a shrill ringing as it all comes back to Norman now, opening the door to a custodial closet where a blonde woman in glasses cowers. When he calls her Martha, she begs him to leave her alone. Norman stalks through them all. Sparkle stabbing him through his shoe was really a terrified woman hiding behind a gift-wrapping kiosk trying to defend herself. Norman stands in the mall bathroom in his costume, banging his fists against his head and screaming, fuck, fuck, fuck.
We see him at the radio station, his face clear now, slamming the note against the window for Dangerous Dan to read. Fuck Christmas. In the bathroom, he pulls on his beard and tries to compose himself, practicing a jolly ho-ho-ho and realizing that it's time when he consults his watch. But now, in the wake of all he's done, the police finally...
arrive demanding that he freeze and put his hands up now. The red and blue lights of their vehicles dance on Norman's face and he sees them as the bright lights coming through the stable doors at the North Pole. But the police stand with their guns pointed and ready. When the man on the floor tries to scamper away, Norman sees him as Krampus again and raises his axe.
This is when the police open fire and instead of taking the test, Storm and Norman took two in the chest. He raises his axe toward the officers now and they continue to fire until Norman goes down. The weatherman falls to his knees before the police, but in his mind, he's Santa, bathed in the red and blue lights of the police cars, and Norman finally falls with a groan as the police swarm the mall.
But back at the radio station, Dangerous Dan wonders, what is it about Christmas and Bailey Downs? Are they cursed or something? Why does a season of love, peace and goodwill keep ending in blood, death and horror? As we pan above the mall into the dark and snowy sky, Dan cries, imploring his listeners to keep the spirit in their hearts, to hug their loved ones, keep them close, and treat every Christmas like it might be your last.
It cuts to black and a rock version of Jingle Bells begins to play. But Dangerous Dan cuts in through the credits to take a call. The caller proposes that if the police just had more training, but Dan cuts him off. He tells him that that's not going to help. It's Christmas. There are magical dark forces out there.
He tells everyone to wake up and he rambles that the season is beautiful. It's light and it's dark. It's yin and it's yang. He says that was for our Asian friends before making sure that he didn't use an offensive term. It's like, oh, you're. You're drunk. You're drunk, yeah. Somebody should probably, we should just play some music and take Dangerous Dan to bed. Yeah. Where's Susan? Where is Susan? Yeah, no shit.
He asserts that he's a Christmas expert and he tries to correct everyone on the proper chain of events on 12 days of Christmas. When Google is suggested, he rants about how we can't go five minutes without Googling anything. But his phone vibrates with the text. message to let him know that he was wrong it's actually 11 pipers piping he admits that he was way off and he's sorry this made me laugh it's just so good yeah
Dangerous Dan raises his bottle to us with a Merry Christmas, everybody, before taking a big gulp. He disappears and the credits roll properly. So what did you guys think of a Christmas horror story? I had a lot of fun talking about this movie. I still will say that I enjoyed it. this time covering it and are watching it for the show. Uh, instead of the other previous times, I kind of, I guess watched here and there. Cause I know, I know we put it on, but I, I don't think I like.
You know what I mean? Maybe I fell asleep one time. One time. But I really, really liked this movie. I don't know what it was about it. It doesn't feel... And it is weird because the acting is taken... I don't want to say that most acting isn't taken serious, but you can tell sometimes when it's like, oh, this is a serious movie. This is a silly movie. This is whatever. I really enjoyed the balance of it. Them acting very well and everybody playing their part. but it also is funny.
when it needs to be funny and there is some stuff that's funny that I don't know if it's intentional or but it does feel like this is like a horror comedy and I'm I mean I'm guessing that is what it is it's not just but it I don't I mean I'm unsure, but I think there's a lot of funny stuff. And I really, really like this. I think there is a lot to like and I do have fun with a good chunk of it I just feel like there's something about the pacing that just does not work for me it is different
But I think that the ending that we get is so good and building towards that with all these radio segments. I feel like there is something really, really fantastic there. And I do. I love a lot of the score. I love the fact that it's an anthology. I love the winter atmosphere. I think that it's always.
a cool thing to see krampus represented in some kind of media yeah but i think that it is just that pacing and the fact that for me a couple of the stories just flat out don't work out at all for me right yeah but I think that it's definitely one to enjoy and just watch and have fun with it. Yeah. Although there are some strange tonal... Yeah. Jarringly, like, I don't know. So, I mean, it's a mixed bag for me. It's not naughty or nice. It's on the I don't know list.
No, that's fair. I can't really argue with any of that. I just know that I got a lot of enjoyment watching this. And that ending, it really did knock my antlers off. I really, really loved it. And I loved most of the stories. And it's funny because the one with the teens in the basement, they had me until the very end. And I was like, I would have tweaked this.
We can still keep this story, but can tweak it and make it a little bit better? Well, with the Santa and the elves, I was like, this is fine, whatever. And then at the end, it was like, boom, bitch! I was blown away. I loved the radio segments. William Shatner was so fucking funny. going back when you've been treated to a twist ending and seeing that it is earned. It was in your face the entire time. There's nothing more satisfying. And the Changeling one, I know that there were some...
you know, some issues or whatever, but I really liked it. I thought that the eyes and, you know, Everything and anything you're dealing with your kid, you know, the stakes are so high. And that one wrestled with some different stuff tonally, too. But yeah, that was a pretty successful one for me. I really liked that one. I think maybe I just liked Kim.
I thought that that one was really cool. I just, like you said, T, just the power of an anthology. I think because I feel like they have to do so much. juggling between stories whether you're telling it in a traditional layout or you're not
it's kind of a tall order to pull off an anthology and I am a little more forgiving of the segments because it's like, well, you don't get a full movie to flesh everything out. Like everything has to move fast. We kind of got to, you know, roll with it or don't. And so I am a little bit more forgiving of some of these segments, especially that basement one. It wasn't fully there for me. I'll be honest.
I still had a good time. I think that this will definitely now, moving forward, be in my holiday rotation with Krampus, with Black Christmas. I'm not saying this is Black Christmas, but... That is a holiday rotation movie. Yeah. Um, you're so defensive. No, I don't. Damn it. Like I never said that. Flip the table. Imaginary person being mean on the internet. Um,
But no, this will definitely go in the rotation. I think it is so much fun. We can just slide into ratings, too, because I feel like we've kind of all said what we think, myself included. Maybe this is a little generous. I did put an extra judge on it because for two reasons. OK, one is William Shatner was so fucking funny and so surprising that he's even in this.
Yeah. And he really fucking he does it like he's so funny. And that ending with Storm and Norman at the goddamn mall. I. respect has to be paid i can't give this anything lower than a certain number for how much i loved that ending that being said and i'm not answering questions at this time On a scale from 1 to 10 sadistically slaying Santas, I am giving a Christmas horror story 8 out of 10 sadistically slaying Santas. I think that this...
Like I said, it is going to be added into the rotation. It is not a perfect movie. It probably doesn't even deserve to be an eight. But that fucking ending was everything for me. I loved it. And I love Krampus, too. I love seeing, you know, his ass in here. I will now open up the floor to you. Yeah, I got to be honest. I know there was a lot of stuff.
that was brought up that either didn't make sense or the tone was. And again, I can see everything that you're saying. You know what I mean? The faults in the movie. And I totally get that. I think for me, it was more just of the fun and the way that William Shatner's bit kind of.
tied it together and I feel like that's one thing that I will be honest for me him being there and it kind of you know, in between things for me was a very strong suit to help push this movie to be, to have as much enjoyment with it that I did. But I do. Again, I agree to the kids. The kids in the basement story was it was OK. I don't see how that kind of goes with.
Christmas, but I mean... I don't know if they're trying to say that that baby's the Antichrist. Yeah, I don't understand how that fits in with Christmas, but... I mean, it does give the Bible verse and it's whatever, but I have it on Christmas Eve. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. On the cool. Well, but the changelings, they're only there to get a tree. Yeah. Honestly, the changelings.
But they fooled us. They did fool us. It didn't seem out of place. No. All because of the tree. Yeah. And I mean, I guess it does work. in that way but I mean it is a lot of fun and putting it on and just watching it and going for the ride I feel like even knowing that it does help even when you get to the ending and you see it all over again But I'm with you, babe. I had a lot of fun with this movie.
And I think I'm going to join you. And on a scale from 1 to 10, sadistically slaying Santas, I'm also going to give A Christmas Horror Story an 8 out of 10. I really, I'm surprised. I'll be honest. I'm surprised because I did remember it and I was like, oh, that was a cool movie. You know what I mean? I'm sure. But then watching it, I was like, man, I don't know. I really like this movie.
I am very happy for both of you. And I hope you have a very happy holiday. Re-watching this movie. But for me, I just think that it's just a matter of the stories not being strong enough. I really like a lot of aspects here and there of each one of them. But I don't really like a lot of the story with Krampus. I like the ending and what it all means. I like the changeling story, but there are a lot of things. And then the ending of it is just like, oh, you killed our leader.
Here's your kid back. We're going to go fuck up Bailey Downs forever. Probably. Or whatever. I don't really know. It just feels un... satisfying yeah okay and i i don't like everything about the santa elf story until the ending and then you're like okay well i can see why but then at the same time i was like that tone was just like and then we cut back to the people in the basement
And it just felt very disjointed. It's a little all over the place. It is. That's undeniable. And again, I like my anthologies.
Well, again, we'll take it back to Trick or Treat. Okay. We do kind of see bits and pieces here and there, and then we get story, then we get story, but there is that interplay and interconnection that does feel very connected. Okay. This, it's like, well, have him looking at the- file a little bit before his kid gets up you know or the um have the radio guy be their grandfather i know it's a small town but god damn but you know so but at the same time that ending is so fantastic
And I just I feel like there's there's it's very difficult because I don't know if there's more that I like about it that I don't like about it. And so it's just kind of tricky for me to even score. Which honestly, anthologies in general are pretty tricky to score. Yes, they are.
So, I mean, it might come off a little low for me, I will be honest. So 7.5? Oh. Oh, I'm about to disappoint everyone at the table. I think for me, out of 10... sadistically slaying santas i am going to give a christmas horror story 5.5 out of 10 there is a few really really cool things in here but i think that it's weighed down for me that's fine by you know that pacing and just kind of not really having the stories that i would like
Okay. To have. Got it. This is not the gift that I asked for. Where is the gift receipt? Well, that's all from us at Podmortem. What would you rate a Christmas horror story and what should we watch next? Let us know on Instagram at thepodmortem. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and like our Steerhole Productions page on Facebook. Be sure to follow each of us on Instagram and Blue Sky at Blood and... Smoke at JuggaloDaddy84 and at TravisMWH.
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