The Red Weather | E7 | “lost cause”

The Red Weather is a work of fiction.

Any resemblance to actual persons or events reflects the adaptation of real, publicly available materials for creative and legal reasons. The content of this podcast is the sole responsibility of Red Weather LLC and does not reflect the views of responsibilities of iHeartMedia or its affiliates. Previously on The Red Weather. A few days before she died, I got a letter from Willow. Willow was my neighbor and one of my best friends as a kid. The central trauma of Willow's

Say some of this stuff.

I was reading the evidence catalog for Anna Trainer's case, like this book maybe, and then could I see the bullets?

I always said that she made that take for somebody else, an older guy.

You said this thing last week.

He said, Oh, I'm glad you're sixteen at least, because I know it's because you just want me to drive. But then it all so it can't be true.

That age is a matter. I think in order to get more information about that, I need to talk to Laney, because I know there's.

Gonna be your worst conversion.

I know I'm not looking forward to her writer.

It's Lanie Traynor. I don't know. It's been years, decades. I'm in Colorado.

Okay, call me back then, and I.

Knew I had to go to Colorado.

I was over a month into investigating the disappearance of Annah Trainer when I finally heard from her mom, Lane, I.

Have lots to show you, things you need to see.

We traded phone calls. She agreed that if I came out to Denver, she would tell me everything. We set a date, I got a flight. I was excited, but then.

I cannot believe she's going to talk to you.

My buddy Chris reminded me, you basically ran away with her daughter that one summer. What are you talking about her?

Didn't you and Willow take that road trip up through Humboldt.

I started this podcast because Anna's sister, Willow sent me a letter before she killed herself. Yeah, but it was like we were running away. Connor, our other friend, agreed with Chris.

Oh, she'd already run away. She was living in the Hest building.

The hest building was an abandoned building behind the coffee shop in our hometown.

I mean, I just remember you had to go through like this little fence to get in, and then you know, it was all run down.

The whole wall was open and you could.

Kind of climb around a lot of different places, but that was the spot you'd go and smoke weed. And I mean it wasn't really a party place and never really like partied there, but that's where people would go about.

I know she lived there for a while.

In the years after her sister disappeared, Willow's life began to unravel a bit. Drugs, alcohol, She discovered raves in San Francisco, she dropped out of school. It was definitely a rough time, a dramatic time for her and me. You might remember the first episode of this podcast I mentioned there was a moment when Willow and I dated. I wasn't sure if I had ever talk about that. This was a podcast about Anna, after all, trying to uncover what happened to her, or at least get a

It was an email she sent.

Me in nineteen ninety eight. It was just a subject line in all caps. It said, writer, stay the hell away from my daughter.

I am actor and filmmaker, writer strong. This is the red weather.

In some ways, I was further along in Nana's case than I'd ever dreamed. I had found new evidence, a new angle, and a new hypothetical person who might have helped her run away, maybe even killed her. The catch, I had no clue who that person could be. Laney seemed to know what I was talking about, though. She knew all about the stalker, she said when we connected over the phone. She said she had plenty of evidence,

So she has stough to show you.

I was leaving home again at the worst time personally. My son had a play performance on a piece a recycal but my wife was understanding.

I mean, it's not great timing, but yeah, it seems important.

Do you know where my copy of The Subterraneans is?

You're going for a few days. How many books do you need?

No?

No, no, it's not for that.

I'm looking for this very specific copy.

Yes, get a kindle.

No, but I wasn't just looking for a casual reread. I was preparing to see Laney Jack Harrowax novel The Subterraneans was one of my favorites when I was younger, and I wanted to find a specific copy after seeing the stay away from my daughter email at check the timing, and Connor and.

Chris were right.

It was right after a very specific experience a road trip I took with Willow in nineteen ninety eight. Willow gave me The Subterraneans on this trip, and I found it wedged in my bookcase.

Welcome to Hollywood Burk Airport, a reminder.

For passengers on my way to Colorado. I flipped it was a copy that got passed around, full of little notes and underline passages. There were a few books like this in our friend group that we all read and handed off to one another fear and loathing in Las Vegas, east of Eden.

I remember one of the first books that you lent me was was Wordsworth.

It's a book of poetry by Wordsworth.

Then we started getting really into the Americana stuff, right, so we moved into the beat generation, so it was like Kerouac and Burrows Ginsburg.

I think you gave me my first copy of On the Road.

I kept the copy with like your notes in it and my notes in it, and we put our names on the front. Like everybody that we passed this book along to we'd share. And I remember doing that with a few books.

Yeah, I remember that Subterraneans is kind of crazy, overwrought, dense. It's about a week long love affair that ends badly. I looked at all the underlined parts, the notes scribbled in the margins. I found my own bad hand. But

Hey, lady, Hi looks like a middle aged.

That's what I am.

Hi, Well, what are you a spy?

I know?

Is it all right if I recording?

Of course, I told you just don't upload my brain to the mothership.

So I really thank you for talking to me.

Yeah, you know what, You're welcome.

Lane had always been small, and she seemed even smaller now, but not fragile. She still looks like she could live in the woods.

If you told me that we would get somewhere anywhere with Anna's case, let alone that it would be right or fucking strong, I would have told you were crazy.

Yeah. Well you know it was a Willow's letter. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

I know, I know, honey, hair, let's let's have a sleep.

She had on her porch. She had bourbon, a.

Little of this.

Oh yeah, why not?

Thank you?

I got the feeling Laney might have already had a few.

I need to tell you something, right. I was angry with you for so long, you.

Know that, and here it comes.

It's kind of a long story, but I had seen Willow a few weeks earlier. We ran into each other at a party in Santa Cruz.

My road tripe with Willow was doomed from the starts.

And I wasn't there for So why was I not there? You were already back east, But actually I guess you would have been home for the summer. Chris had already transferred to a boarding school in Boston. One thing leads to another, and we find ourselves in this room at this party making out.

But that was not the first time my friend.

Was it.

No, she was my first kids, But context is everything. That first time we were nine, and it was a game of truth or dare.

Then she stops kissing me and tells me she can't. I can't do this. She's seen someone brutal.

Yeah, so I'm like, I'm all hurt and embarrassed, and because here we've finally taken this leap from friends to oh yeah, maybe we're going to date and then just boom, like immediately shut down. Of course there's someone else. This was the first time I heard about mister Wrong. But a few weeks later, Willow called me from the Oakland airport.

She wanted me to pick her up.

She was supposed to be getting on a flight to some kind of summer camp or retreat.

I wasn't totally clear, but she didn't want to go. She wanted us to hit the road. She wanted to see if we can be together.

I was free, and I did want to see if we could be together. There was a big part of me that had been in love with Willow from the moment I met her.

So I drove to Oakland.

There were years, years right where I could not say your name.

I wouldn't you know when you picked up Willow that summer. Yeah, and you guys just took off your van.

Yeah, I mean I thought, I you know, I thought it was fine.

Really, because she she called me, asked me to come pick her up because she didn't want to go to the camp a camp, you know that thing in Montana wherever she was.

Going camp you mean, like a like a summer camp. Yeah, it was rehab.

Writer, I should have known.

Oh god, yeah, we we found her.

Willa had shed bottles. She had all these pills, just a whole bunch of pills. I mean Charlie. You remember Charlie, Yeah, kind of kind.

I actually didn't think I ever met Charlie, but I knew that was Laney's boyfriend for a couple of years, a pseudo stepdad to Willow.

She wasn't going to school, wasn't coming home.

So Charlie had found the place, a place for her to you know, get treatment.

We'd already paid for it.

It was like I had no idea.

Really, you had no idea.

I should have known within minutes of making Willow up that she was lying that she didn't want some soul searching road trip. This was not a romantic getaway. She was all distracted and emotional and manic totally.

You know.

She just wanted to listen to music and find places to camp where no one was around, smoked cigarettes, and she just like burst into tears.

Suddenly.

We spent a week driving north up into Humboldt, and despite what she'd insinuated over the phone, everything was strictly platonic. I could tell she was going through something, but I didn't want to pry. But I also was confused and had a lot of my own feelings. It wasn't until about five days into the trip that she finally told me what was going on.

She was pregnant.

For three weeks, I didn't know where my daughter was.

Didn't tell me.

I hope you know now that you're a father, you understand I can't, but just let me just get this out right, or please. For three weeks I didn't know where she was Moonbean.

I thought I had lost her. It was Anna all over again.

And she finally called when you left her in San Francisco and she never went over that writer by the way, I'm I'm.

Not gonna lie.

That's a wound that did not heal. I had to drive down to the city and she was a mess. She was crushed.

This was tricky because in my mind I hadn't left Willow in San Francisco. In fact, I wanted to stay at first, but Willow had decided to have an abortion, and she told me that the father, mister Wrong, was coming to help her. But I didn't want to sit here and get into that with Laney for two reasons. One, I thought there was a good chance Willow had lied to her mom that she told Laney I was the father, And two I thought that was a lie not worth correcting.

No, no clue, Right, that's the thing.

She just told me that she shouldn't be with this guy, And honestly I had to start like maybe it was her mom's boy.

Holy shit, Charlie, Seriously, Yes.

I know. It's incredibly fucked up. Yeah, why else wouldn't she tell me who it was? Would tell you, would tell any of us.

Okay, I get that you didn't want to upset Laney.

But why does any of this matter? Yeah?

What does this have to do with Annett?

Well, because of what lady showed me in the house. Did you know that I wrote a short story about that road trip with Willow?

Was it called friend Zone? Don read sixty six?

It was the first story I published. I fictionalized a lot, the characters were older, and I gave the girl a different name, Opal, but the plot was the same. A man and a woman go on a road trip to run away and give being together a shot. Then she reveals she's pregnant with her ex boyfriend's child. I went back over the story for any clues to who mister Wrong was. So in the story, I'm trying to get her to tell me who the father is. And this is what I wrote. She wasn't going to say. I

Oof right, strong, more like writer weak.

I hated him whoever he was. With nothing to go on, he grew monstrous and perfect in my mind.

Oh no, that is a good line. Friend.

He was rich, he was cool, he was taller than me, older, listened to better music. None of that might be true, but I knew one thing. He made her happy at one time. He made opal happy, older, richer, taller, Right, But see that's me being insecure and paranoid, right, So like that's just speculation. In real life, I dropped Willow off at a hotel near a planned parenthood and drove.

Off confused and sad.

In the story, the narrator turns back around, he picks her up, and they decide to stay together.

I left it ambiguous if they kept the child or not.

Anyway, So here I was on the porch with Lane, who's like still in mourning.

This woman has lost two daughters, yeah right.

And all I can do is sort of lamely defend the fact that I didn't abandon her pregnant daughter to get an abortion by herself.

Yeah.

I really didn't want to leave her.

That was not my intention. I mean, we thought about it. I wanted to stay.

Okay, all right.

I could tell Lane didn't believe me, and I couldn't blame her, because no matter how I described it, no matter how I spun it, I did leave Willow, and I honestly can't remember how it went down exactly. I remember crying, I remember her crying, and I know she told me to go. But why did I listen? Was it because I was respecting her wishes? Or was I hurt and pissed off? Was I jealous of mister Wrong? Was I mad that she wouldn't tell me who he was? Was I mad that she didn't want to make out

Is it better if I leave?

I know, I need to show you what I have. It's too important.

But we stayed on the porch. Laney smoked, she poured more whiskey. Eventually she began to talk about the tender hearts.

Oh yeah, man, we were going to change the world. It was radical. It was a radical change. And with the kids. We thought it was perfect. Let the woods be schooled, a nature, you know, be their teacher.

But the reality was the kids, the Gramets got older.

God damn Liam was out of hand, what a snot? And him and his mom left when he was.

Like nine or ten. And then Jones's son started going to Twin Hills.

Before they knew it, Laney and and the other moms were driving to three different schools.

Suddenly our like free flowing, groovy thing became about who was picking up whose kid, who had the keys to who's car?

And god, my girls hated it, and I hated it.

She wanted diet coke and Cheetos, she wanted pom poms and you know the fucking Sandie Hawking's dance. Oh God, there's a girl in town, Bailey Bam bam whatever. And she would be dropped off by her mom and she would pull up in the front of the school and she had this like white jeep, you know, and the blonde hair and on the clothes. And Anna turns to me one day and she says, why can't we be like that? And I was like, honey, stardust, love of my life.

That is death, that is hell.

You want to live like that. You gotta take the whole thing. You're gonna You're gonna have a job you hate.

You're gonna have some man telling you what to do, breathing down your neck.

Lady saw tender hearts as a rect.

I was protecting them, my girls. They had no idea how much I was protecting them. I was coming from well, I'm gonna tell you, I don't care.

I was raped when I was fourteen.

Oh god, yeah, by my dad's best friend, Davis Cooper.

Davis, I'm so sorry.

That's so awful.

And for my parents, for Cooper, there was something normal about it, you know, it was like expected first week of summer.

Landy's fourteen. Laney has a new bathing suit. So sure Cooper couldn't help himself. I'm fucking believable.

Cool.

You know what my dad did, He went and he had a talk with him. My mom's a mess, My brother Jacob doesn't know what the hell is going on. My dad goes to Cooper.

The men had their talk and everything's fine, just right back to the rug. They have their talk. Cooper comes to dinner the next week. Fuck you want to smoke?

Yeah, thank you?

You gotta quit this shit, writer, I stopped. I made it almost five years of spring. You wait till you have a teenager? What do you have a girl son? Oh my god, thank god?

You better.

Thank god. Every day you take him to the woods, you give them treat time.

Didn't Actually I try.

Anna turning away from the tender hearts wasn't just a lifestyle choice or a philosophical betrayal. It brought real consequences.

She goes off for the all American life and wanted to get her It got her shitty friends, the mall girls. I called them, a boyfriend who thinks he owns her, and some other fucking guy she won't say who it is, and her notes was constantly bugging her.

Okay, so this is the stalker.

At first, Anna complained about a guy who wouldn't leave her alone, but then things changed all of a sudden.

She's missing school, late nights, taking the car out.

He wore down.

That's not of a bitch, wore down.

And she never said who it was.

No, because by then you know she lost her tender heart. She barely talked to me anymore.

Well, hold up, is this where you tell me Anna's stalker was Charlie.

No, no, because Charlie and Laney didn't meet until nineteen ninety seven, and he was stationed overseas in ninety five. But you're on the right track. Laney was convinced that she had evidence that could solve Anna's case, but Maldonado and his team wouldn't listen to her.

The pull it fucking bullets out of trees, Jason Parking tickets, going after oh Rick.

They destroyed that man, They destroyed him. You lose your daughter, you know.

But if you care about that, you want to actually do the work, well, then I'm a crazy lady, right, I'm hysterical. Miss miss calmed down.

You know what that means.

You know, know your place, Keep your mouth shut, Let the men work, Let the men do their thing.

Cooper comes to dinner next week.

Goddamn, look at you.

That's right.

You listen. You're open rider. Okay, let's hit aside.

Yeah.

Sure.

Walking in, though I wished we'd stayed outside, I couldn't see the floor close. Everywhere she had rows of paper bags, brown paper bags that looked like they were filled with rocks, and there was insulation rolls and strips of pink wall insulation piled around. You need to go through stuff, blankets, baskets, and figurines. She had a huge collection of Kachina dolls, traditional hopie figurines. I didn't know where to walk, where I could walk, so I focused on those.

Oh these are great.

Oh yeah, oh my little warriors. Yeah, let's let's go to the kitchen. About these three boxes here, Wow, it's my Anna collection.

One box was full of early childhood stuff, her first.

Little hair cutting.

Yeah, look at this dress she made, not good, purple and white, my stardust child will it was my moonbeam.

But Anna was all stardust.

It was a lot of homemade trinkets. There was a dream catcher. Then there was a box of stuff from when she was older.

Yeah, this is the makeup box she made me by her.

Yeah.

It was a collection of books Ed Ground, Poe, The Dow of Pooh, The Secret Language of Birdays It. Yes, And there was a copy of Stephen King's It. It was the same edition I remembered reading, and I.

Liked all that gothic stuff. But here, this is this is the real stuff.

Here she pulled out big folded papers and leather notebooks.

So, okay, the first thing. The most important thing is the fire. Right Willow's rage.

Laney unfolded a map of Sonoma County.

So when Anna didn't come home the next morning, I knew that we were dealing with vindictive forces.

She also had a page of tracing paper with lines and symbols, and I started to get worried.

Yeah, these are here, take up the hand this candle.

I realized too late. I had backed myself into a corner.

This is the constellation Pleiades. You know you're stars, No Pleiades, the Seven Sisters.

Right, yes, so that's key.

Okay, Now look at this. Do you see this?

Look at this?

Oh you know, they line.

Up, they light up exactly. Look burn here, no, burn here, burn here.

Willow started that fire, but there were there were spirit guiding it, spirit stopping it.

I knew that if I said the wrong thing, I'd be one more person telling Laney she was crazy and hysterical.

Okay, okay, but the real breakthrough of you okay later. Now this is this is my journal.

Here.

I tracked every session I had with mary Anne.

Oh, who's Who's mary Anne.

Marianne was the medium I met in two thousand and two. By the way, I met her on October twenty third, at two thousand and two, yeah, Anna's birthday.

I found her in Monterey. She was working with the Piscali group. She was trained by Piscali himself.

Okay, lady, I don't I'm sorry. I don't want to. I don't mean to cut you off.

Now.

You need to be open, right, Oh, I need you to look at this.

You have to be open. But I'm trying to be I just want I think I should just be very clear. I'm an atheist and i'm, you know, diehard skeptic.

You know you don't believe me.

I believe that you. I don't doubt that you had an experience.

I had a series of experiences, right, But I you know.

I'm looking. I'm trying to find some evidence that this is. I don't know what I can really do with this.

It's not like I tried to get her attention back to the first couple of boxes.

I'm thinking more like, do you have any journals or letters? If she box right here? Okay, yeah, so the books.

And what is this?

Is this what I was flipping through the copy of it? Is this Anna's handwriting?

Who?

Well, who gave her this?

Book.

I don't know, because I have a book from Willow and I swear it's it's the exact same camera handwriting. There was a note in the margin of one page lost cause mister wrong. I remember the book in evidence at the Sheriff's department too, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior?

Did it have notes in it? Book from It's I have it back in my hotel or if I could, can I keep this?

That was anas?

Okay?

Right?

Okause Willow? Do you know who was giving her books?

Like?

Who giv writer friends? Teachers?

Laney said it so casually, but I suddenly had a very strong sinking feeling a teacher. Yeah, because Willow gave me a book, and uh, it was from the guy that she was seeing in uh in ninety eight, the guy that she called mister wrong.

Mister wrong. Yeah, he was. I don't know, I don't know who he was, but he was. He was the father. Who's father, you know, baby Willow's baby Lane what.

Laney never knew Willow was pregnant, never knew she had an abortion. She was understandably upset. She asked me to leave.

Oh my god, it was awful. I called my wife after I drove away.

Well, I mean it sounds like she's still grieving.

Yes, I know, but I mean, how was I supposed to know that she didn't know this?

There was no way I could know that.

I don't think I knew the whole story I told you about Willow. Maybe, but isn't this podcast about her sister?

Yes, it is.

Right. I didn't think you're gonna be spending all your time talking about an next girlfriend.

She's she's a friend. It was just like this one you know, this one moment when we're teenagers.

Right, who you were in love with and who you what drove to get an abortion.

That's not what this is about.

It's kind of becoming about that.

Yeah, all right, look, I gotta I gotta get to the hotel. I'm still kind of.

Reeling right now.

So can I just call you later?

Yeah?

I went to the hotel.

I wasn't sure if I should stay in Denver and try and call Laney the next day or what.

I felt horrible here.

Lanny thought I was coming to help her, that I was somebody was finally going to take her seriously and maybe help give her answers.

Instead, I brought more doubt, more.

Questions, maybe even made her feel betrayed by her other daughter.

Hold on, you think, mister wrong. The guy who got Willow pregnant and Anna's killer are the same person.

I called Chris and Monica to go over things exactly because of a note in a book. No, it's more than that, it's more.

It all fits.

Just stay with me here, Okay, Anna has a stalker.

She complains to her mom, but.

Then at some point Anna stops complaining about him and she actually starts dating him, and.

She makes the tape for him. But she doesn't say his name on the tape.

Because it's a secret relationship. She can't tell anyone, her mom, her sister, Mick, anyone.

She doesn't want anybody to know who this guy is.

There's something wrong or inappropriate, maybe illegal about their affair, and they have a plan, Operation van go And from the tape we know he's scared of what society thinks of him. He's told her age doesn't matter.

There's also this moment.

Van Goes suffered from severe emotional and psychological problems and died in France at the age of thirty seven. Thirty seven.

That makes me think that he was thirty seven or I don't like about to turn thirty seven, and maybe he's married, maybe he would lose his job, maybe he's a teacher. Halloween night, Anna and Mick have their fight. The mean girls are mean, and Anna makes a decision it's time for Operation man Go.

But she still pages Mick.

Yeah, I don't know about that.

Maybe she's torn, should should get back together with Mick or run away.

With this other guy.

Maybe she's hedging her bets because the guy might not go through with Operation van Go. Either way, Yes, she pages Mick, but then she changes her mind and she.

Meets up with this other guy.

He picks her up before Mike gets to the payphone, or they meet somewhere else.

Entirely, and maybe they start Operation van Go. Maybe he helps her get to the airport to fly away somewhere. Or they fight and she threatens to tell everyone about their affair.

Which would ruin his life.

Maybe he kills her to cover up the affair.

He hides her body, he drives Tony down to the celty lot. Makes it plausible that Anna just ran away. Now all that is pretty much what I was thinking anyway when I was focused on Mick.

But here's what's new.

Three years later, nineteen ninety eight, the guy got away with it. Anna's gone, The case is cold. Life has moved on for everyone.

But he's still in he is.

Yeah, he's still potentially in the lady's life. He could be a friend of the family.

He's still teaching.

And lo and behold, here comes Willow, a new young Trander girl. This is a grass, I know, but it's a pattern, right. This guy's got a thing for grooming young girls. What are the chances that he would do it more than once?

Hi?

I guess now. It's nineteen ninety eight and Willow, like her sister, is in a secret relationship. And Willow can't tell anyone, not her mom, not us.

Why not the same reasons Anna didn't tell anyone. He's older, he's.

Inappropriate, he's maybe still a teacher, still married.

Jesus. Do you remember Jacob Wyman? No, the English teacher. I never had him, but there were kids who loved this guy.

He was one of those dudes that was like one of the kids to call him by his first name, not mister Wyman, but Jacob.

Oh.

Was he the one that took kids camping?

Yes, exactly, exactly the senior trip. Jacob's senior trip.

Okay, he was a teacher at Annelie. Did he ever come up? No? But hold on, I'm going to search the archives.

Monica still had access to the back articles of the Press Democrat.

Oh there's a lot. I mean these are boring mentions, assemblies, football games, direct school play one year. Oh, okay, there's an article about Harry Potter. He's quoted.

It was two thousand and one.

Remember there was a backlash to Harry Potter that the books were promoting witchcraft.

We don't give kids enough credits.

As Jacob Wyman, an English teacher at Annelie High School, I'd rather kids explore things dark or.

Risky things in fiction. I encourage them to read whatever they enjoy, horror, crime, any genre.

Yeah, Anna had a copy of Stephen King's Hit.

His stance, though, isn't without controversy.

Wyman landed in hot water last semester when several parents noticed he had included the novel Damage by Josephine Hart on his fall reading list.

I could see their concerns and said he ended up dropping Damage from his syllabus.

I don't know what is this book?

Damage?

Yes, Damage by Josephine Hart is a psychological thriller centered on a respectable British politician, doctor Stephen Fleming, whose life spirals when he becomes obsessively and destructively involved with his son's fiance Anna.

Are you kidding me? The character's name is Anna Forbidden Desire, secret affair, an older man.

And a younger woman.

I haven't read it.

I haven't read this, but it sounded familiar.

I thought maybe because it was a bestseller, because there was a movie made, But actually it was familiar for another reason.

What's this other note?

Here?

Weeks ago, I had been requesting items one by one from the evidence catalog at the Sheriff's Department damage heart spelled ha rt.

There might be a note that the book is damaged or could be a type damaged art.

I needed to see that book.

That night in Denver, I could barely sleep. This felt like enough to bring to Greer and Lachlan. They could open up the evidence locker and see for themselves. I compiled my clips so I could call the Sheriff's department in the morning, But when I woke up, I got a call.

From my brother, Hey, what's going on?

Hey?

Uh?

So the Sheriff's department is here.

He was calling from my parents' house.

What.

Yeah, they have a warrant and they're searching the house. They're going through all the closets and outside.

It's the whole.

What are they what are they looking for?

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