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For the best listening experience, be sure to use headphones or earbuds. And remember, better now than never, and never too late. To Ben Johnson. I mean it! Marlowe, get your hands off my pussy! That kid with you! Yes, you Thomas kid! Carry him! Oh, they've all gone. It's safe, I say. I've locked up tight for the night. Take off your binder and let down your hair. Thanks, good mistress Slapottom. Do you...
Don't forget it's me you're speaking to. And there's no need between us two to keep to your disguise. Oh, thanks, good mistress. I had, I confess. Ah, there. Here's my hat and the stuffing from my codpiece. Hair down, feet up. The girl's back. And a lovely one you are. A shame to go through all you ha- to pass as one of them men. It can't be easy. Here, let me take your mustache off.
How men can drink so much and still stand up, let alone think or govern, is one of life's great mysteries. Well, if you hope to pass as one of them, you'd better learn to hold your liquor. Will you write tonight? Did you, with this so-called writer's group, talk all your ideas out again, transforming them from inspiration into hot air? No. Since I began this counterfeit, I have found the truth of me and can't deny it. Oh, I have plays in me, never doubt it.
Did I? You'd not be sitting here in my dear dead husband's clothes. Did I not agree to shelter thee for that great love I bear for all things of the stage? the more fool me to abet you in such dangerous games but you'll betray yourself if you fall in love i've seen you look at that actor from strut The one that sadly is losing his hair. Alack, for one so young, he were good looking else. And so he has turned his hand to writing for fear that when his hair goes, so will his work.
And I see he shoots you, Amorous Lux. What, when he finds you but a stuffed codpiece? Well, that he hath already. What? How? When? But now, when we did linger in the buttery, and he confessed his love and I the truth. But when he found that I was a woman, alas, I lost all charm for him at once. You trusted him with your confession? And he me? With the nature of his nature? And so, at each other's mercy.
And so Confederates became, at which point he, to me, more secret shame confessed. What more secret shame than two unnaturals as you two bonding in a batter? He hath been trying to fix a play, and he is stuck. Although it dreadful is, the theme for centuries has seemed to please, and always packs the house. Tis called The Taming? of a shrew. Or twas when last it played. I know!
this comedy. It is goodly. Goodly! Nay, even you, who love to see the bear fights, cannot like of this. No! It will not do... it will not do. We can no longer bear to see this shrew. Now, good Mr. Slapoddam, I take up quill and ink and I shall show thee how it should have gone. act one scene one the university of padua outside the gates enter young lucentio and his manservant tronio Ronio, behold the teeming crowd of students, young men hungry for learning's joys.
Tronio, since for the great desire I had to see fair Padua Nursery of Arts, we are here arrived! Finally! I hope I may my schooling finish to advanced degree in wisdom's garden. University of Padua, here cometh we! Oof, a farin'. Goodly college town. Oh, the higher fruits of learning. No more acres of tomatoes, as in Pisa, where I am from, and gladly take my leave. But sadly...
My father, Vincentio, in Pisa, known as the Tomato King. A simple man, though born a contadina, from humble roots a fortune grew when he developed a tomato's paste. that could withstand the perils of an ocean voyage. And now, Tronio, I here set out to school to find what virtue is. Yes! What shall I sign up to study here? Tell me thy mind, good Tronio. Uh, love. What? Love!
No profit grows where there's no pleasure taken. In brief, study what you want to learn. A thousand thanks, Tronio. Thy points well aimed. Ooh, but stay a while. What company is this? A father, it seems, and with two maids in tow. The first he drags his roughly by the arm as if he'd break it. And behind another maiden, eyes cast down, trails sweetly...
And two men behind her that's stiff behind that sweet one like overheated dogs. This is indeed some show to welcome us to town. Let's conceal ourselves behind Athena's statue there and get a better view. Catherine! Yes, Father? Have I not warned you full a thousand times from the university to stay away? What dollar? Disgrace the family name by sneaking into lectures with the men? I dropped my books! Father, let me gather them!
Oh, why may I not learn about the heavenly spheres as men do? Or be an ignorant slut like that one? See how she eyes the scholars? Learn to know your sphere, which is to sit at home and, like your sister, learn to ply your needle! Bianca, come and linger not behind! Willingly, Father, do I obey. Why should I be walled up and kept apart from all the celestial wonders that abound? Is not the world round, whether I woman am or man?
World round. Universal knowledge is not for thee. Beware it. Bianca knows her orbit and her duty. It was she that told you that I went to class. Oh, I'll scratch out both her eyes! Put your hands down! What a problem! Let me go! Sister, learning is a thing that for us should never be. Should we women so equip ourselves to take men's places, why, there would be no wars. And where would we be then? Hark, Tronio, how Minerva speaks.
Oh, she is an idiot. Father, is this your homeschooling? Oh, was any father so destroyed as I? Saddled with the trouble of two daughters? And now Bianca into her season comes! Oh, Tronio, my reason swoons and all within me swells. And we are now beset with such a pack. Back, Signor Hortensio! Back, Signor Grimio! Gentlemen, you draw too near my daughters! Gentlemen, follow us not about! I bid you, wait upon us at the house. Neighbor, if I, old...
Grimio, have her not, I die. When I her do I, I feel my dead sap rise. Am both the old dog that I well am, and young again. All of me for her. Okay, old man. Stand back and let young Hortensio... Younger, please. Younger Hortensio. who never hunger felt of such a kind declare before these ivory towers, where the proper study of mankind is... Men, as said some poet. Is man, said the poet, not men. Tis all the same. Tis not. See how she argues. Shush, Catherine. I studied men.
I sometimes went to class. And now I find wish to switch my major. Oh, Bianca, non-Parel, I love thee. Oh, life I never dreamed of. Me, of mine, take all. Why, gentlemen? I cannot well believe thou hast been drawn behind me through the streets. You wicked boys. Bad Signor Greenio. You naughty man. Wicked Signor Hortensio. You should be... spanked. And as you both deserve, I turn my back. Father, do you see or are you blind?
If you crate her not, she will a litter drop. Dare you to vilify your sister thus. It is you that do disgrace us. I! Bianca! Gentlemen, importune me no further. I will now say again what I have earlier spoke. Yes. I shall not release my younger daughter till the elder be well disposed of. Bianca, get you home. No, no. No, no, no, no. Father, may I stay? Nay, girl, thy time shall come. Let thy elder sister enjoy her moment in the sun. Bianca, go home!
And I must to the college go and find another tutor for my girls. This one drove the last one out by shrewing. Catherine, you stay. Is it your will, sir, to make of me a mock among these mates? A pair of witless jacks tis hardly sport to disembowel. Run home, little boys, whilst thou can. Unless you better learn your self-control, you'll not taste my carrot nor feel my pole!
I would not touch your carrot, nor your pole. Not even should it be full ten feet long. She insults thy pole, Grimio. Disorderly head. Too rough you are with the old man. You see how cast down he is by your rudeness? What, stake me like a bear against two dogs? A bitch against dogs? Had you a bitch's grace? Indeed. Check your diaper, Grandpa, and your tongue, and try not your one remaining wit. Tis feeble. She hath hit you with a loaded diaper, Cremius. Your wig slips. Don't you dare follow me!
You can go to the devil and his dam, or your gifts can be best admired! Damn! Hortensio! Our cake is but half-baked. If I can find a man to teach Bianca in whom she would delight, I will send him and soften her father to the purpose. Yes. Yes, and so I thought it once as well, but we must contrive to get the older sister wed. Oh, oh, aye. To find for her a husband. Let the devil take her. That's a match truly made in heaven. But then they drag the other one to hell. Come on. Let's go.
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integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time from startups to scale-ups online in person and on the go shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you sign up for your one dollar a month trial at shopify.com slash setup Come, Lucentio, they're gone! Why do you stand there, stricken like Lot's wife? If you close not your mouth, it will draw flies. I... Die to think on that poor maid behind cruel chamber walls locked up away. Tronio! Hm? What is thy thought?
I will be a schoolmaster and undertake the teaching of the maid. Oh, yes! Will it work? Oh, um... Nay. Nay. Nope. Now I see I cannot. Why? Tis good! Well, for you to pass as such another man, another man would need to pass as you to play the part of Rich Vincentio's son. Impossible. But why not? What? And set a fancy house and party make with other offspring of the filthy rich? Surely there must be- With fancy meat and finger food where the wine is good and the women lewd?
Tronio, so much that you already do for me, I hate to ask, but ask I will. Would you be me for me, dear Tronio? Take off your silken jerkin and give it here! The color suits me. Now take my shitty vest. I mean my city vest. Don't you look... Nice. Rugged. Girl trap. Oh, good. And you look amazing. I would mistake you for a son of some great lord. Yes, my lord. When Biandello comes, our lead-in clown, he will attend thee. Oh, no. I hear him now.
We'll have to shut him up before he's funny. So had we need, the worse his clowning grows, the more he wishes clowning to pursue, and when he plays the fool... Time standeth still. Ugh! Here comes the rogue with twinkle his eye, my fearsome deadly jest at hand. Well, fellow, where have you been? Where have I been? Nay, how now whooping down a dairy?
Master, has my fellow Tronio stolen your clothes? Or you stolen his? Or both? Come hither, clown. Tis no time to jest. Therefore, I shall show thee... A trick! Behold, here is a jack- Oh no, please no. No. No. No. Aye, and for I am a young dog, it is an old trick. Pick a card, I say. Stop it, I say, or I shall discharge thee from service. But thy vest is old and shitty, and so thou canst not.
Wait you on him, I charge thee, as were he me. He is a bigger fool than me who wear the bells. I am Cambio, henceforth. Antronio Lucentio is. Do you understand me? No. Oh, wow. Yes, yes. He pinched me. Wow. Trania, let's go. Verona. For a while, I take my leave to see my friends in Padua. Ah, here comes Groomio, my trusted more than servant. I love him well. Although his wits were damaged in the war, he continues yet to practice clowning.
And though he often fails to cheer us, yet he tries. Groomio, did you find a place to park the horse? The inn around the corner hath room for us and him. I left him better fed than me. Where's his friend of yours? Will he give us lunch? Somewhere on this street we'll find that best beloved, dearest to my heart, Hortensio. And what? Is this not his very house? Are those not his baggy tights upon the line? Here, Sir Agrumio, knock me well, I say. Ow! By bloody hell, what mean you by that?
I told you knock me well upon the door, not me. Ow! Ow! Ah! Stop! Halt! Nay, I bid thee stop. But, Master Petruchio, I did but to the letter did and knocked thee well upon the door. What more dost thou desire? I desire to ring thee like a bell. Say it. No. Say it. Uncle. Uncle. And, and, villain one more. I am a bad clown and nothing I do is funny. Again. I am a bad clown and nothing I do is funny. How now?
Can it be my old friend Groomio and my good friend Petruchio? What brings you from Verona? Senor Hortensio, are you come to join the fray? With all my heart, caro mio Petruchio. How long has it been? You look well or better. Better than you, anyway. Seriously, friend, I missed you. And Groomio, rise, Groomio, sulk not. We will mend this... Nay, no matter what he makes me say, I have to many people given joy. The old folk.
Do smile again when Groomio appears, for well they know what jollity portends. Oh, villain, tis a slippery slope thou treads! My man! Man! The play on podcast series Shrew was written by Amy Freed and directed by Art Manke. Radio play by Catherine Eaton. The cast is as follows. Susanna Rogers as Catherine Minola and the woman writer. Alan Gilmore as Petruchio. Annie Abrams as Bianca Minola. Martin Kildare as Baptista Minola. Brett Ryback as Lucentio. Kyle T. Hester as Tronio.
Mike McShane as Grimio. J. Paul Boehmer as Hortensio and The Merchant. Danny Shea as Grumio. Casey Mahaffey as Biandello and Dorcas. Stephen Caffrey as Vincentio, the priest and a servant. Tessa Auberginois as the widow and mistress Slapbottom. Casting by The Telsey Office, Karen Castle, CSA. This podcast was recorded under a SAG-AFTRA agreement. Original music composition, mix, and sound design by Lindsay Jones. Sound engineering and mixing by Sadaharo Yagi.
Mix engineer and dialogue editor, Larry Walsh. Podcast mastering by Greg Cortez at New Monkey Studio. Coordinating producer, Transcend Streaming, Kira Bowie and Liana Keys. Executive producer, Michael Goodfriend. The Play On podcast series, Shrew, is produced by Next Chapter Podcasts and is made possible by the generous support of the Hits Foundation. Visit nextchapterpodcast.com for more about the Play On podcast series. Visit playonshakespeare.org for more about Play On Shakespeare.
Subscribe to Play On Premium for ad-free episodes and join our Patreon for exclusive merchandise and early commercial-free releases. Go to playonpodcast.com for our bonus content, where you'll find interviews with the artists, producers, and engineers who brought it all to life. And remember, better now than never, and never too late.
you Join Play On Premium to get merch like t-shirts, hoodies, and coffee mugs, ad-free episodes, and bonus content video featuring interviews with the actors, producers, playwrights, and directors who brought it all to life. Go to ncpodcasts.com and subscribe to Play On Premium to support the art and the artists.
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