Much Ado About Nothing - Episode 1 - And Pigs Might Fly

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Go to ncpodcasts.com and subscribe to Play On Premium to support the art and the artists. Hello again, friends, and welcome back for another round of Play On Podcasts, epic audio adventures reimagining timeless tales. As always, I'm executive producer Michael Goodfriend. And fresh off the heels of the blood-soaked tragedy of Richard III, we thought it might be good to take a breather and maybe have a few laughs.

Thankfully, Shakespeare is known for his comedies just as much as he is for his dramas, and so we are extremely proud to bring one of his most popular plays in that genre, Much Ado About Nothing. Written between 1598 and 1599, you could call this the original rom-com. Sure, Shakespeare had already penned other comedic works with romantic subplots like The Taming of the Shrew and A Midsummer Night's Dream.

both of which you can hear as play on podcasts, by the way. But some historians credit much ado as the first ever example of the enemies to lovers trope in which two people who initially despise each other eventually... potentially, spoiler alert,

fall head over heels in love. Okay, I won't say their names just in case you want it to be a surprise, but you should know that the pairing of these two characters in Much Ado About Nothing has inspired countless other famous... fictional romances, including Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Star Wars Han Solo and Princess Leia, the fairy tale Belle and the Beast, and Scarlet and Rhett.

from Gone with the Wind, just to name a few. Hey, we all know someone who swears they'll never fall in love, right? But how often have you wanted to say, and pigs might fly? Next chapter podcasts presents the play on podcast series. Much ado about nothing. Episode one and pigs might fly for the best listening experience. Be sure to use headphones or earbuds. And remember, the world must be people.

C'est parti ! Signor Leonato! Signor Leonato! Welcome, sir. Hero. Here, Father. Beatrice. Yes, Uncle. Margaret. We're all here, sir. According to this naval cadet, Don Pedro of Aragon will be in Messina tonight. Tonight? He must be very nearby now, Governor. He was less than 10 miles away when I left him. No. Tell me, how many men did he lose in this last battle? Not many.

The fewer the losses, the sweeter the victory. Quite so, Your Excellency. Hero, it says here that Don Pedro has promoted a young Florentine called... Claudio. Father. He has, Your Excellency, and richly deserved. Claudio fought with great courage and with a skill beyond his years. The lamb became a lion, so to speak. He so surpassed expectation that no report of mine could do him justice.

Excuse me, sir? Yes, my lady. Might I inquire, is Signor Mount Ontu back from the war? Who is this Mount Ontu, niece? Signor Mount Ontu, lady? I know no one of that name. I don't believe there was a Mount Ontu in our army. No, I think my cousin Beatrice must be referring to Senior Benedict. Oh, he's back and as charming as ever. Oh, tell me, how many men has he killed and eaten in this war? Or rather, how many has he killed?

since i promised to eat anyone he did kill you're very hard on benedict niece but he'll get even with you just you wait senior benedict acquitted himself very well lady You mean he accounted for all the moldy provisions. That man could eat for Italy. He's an excellent soldier too, lady. He's an excellent soldier to a lady, but to a lord? To a lord, too. He is stuffed with good qualities. Exactly. A stuffed man. But I fear the stuffing may turn out to be straw. Huh?

Sir, you must take my niece Beatrice with a pinch of salt. There's a kind of merry war between her and Benedict. Every time they meet, there's sure to be a clash of wits. Worst luck for him. In our last encounter, four of his five wits went limping off. I doubt if he has a wit enough left now to keep himself warm. If he has, he had better wear it in his helmet when he rides into battle.

That way the enemy may still be able to distinguish between him and his jeep. Tell me, who's his companion these days? He seems to have a new best friend every month. Really? Oh, yes. He drops old pals and picks up new ones like I do hats. He's clearly not in your good books. If he were, I'd burn my library. But you haven't answered my question. Who's his latest buddy? Is there no brawler or gamester who will go to hell with him? He and Claudio are boon companions and always together.

Claudio, God help him! Ben, a dick, will cling to him like a disease. He's more easily caught than the plague, and once he is, the victim goes mad with in the week. No, God help Claudio if he's cost the Benedict. It'll cost him a thousand pounds to be cured of it. I've no wish to fall out with you, lady.

You'll never catch the Benedict, Erniece. No, not till a hot January. Ah, here comes Don Pedro! With his brother, Don John. Has Don Pedro forgiven Don John for his offense? Yes, sir. The prince's benevolence to his brother knows no bounds. Many would have cut him out. Horacio joins Don John, and Signor Benedict and the newly promoted Claudio joins Don Pedro. Margaret, my, my, it is good to see you. Oh, Horacio, is it?

Yeah, it could be. Is that a capital B? Attention! At ease. Signor Leonardo, have you come to greet your trouble? Most men try to avoid expense, but you are eager to meet it. My lord Don Pedro, I can think of no guest who could be less trouble than yourself. Trouble is something we're glad to be rid of. But when you leave my house, I am sad. This is better hospitality than any man deserves.

This must be your daughter, Hero. So her mother assures me. Why do you ask her? Are you in any doubt? No, Senor Benedict. After all, you're only a boy when my daughter was born. He's got your measure, Benedict, you old rake. But finally, how could such a good-looking girl have any other father? Be happy, lady. You have an honorable father, and you are like him. Thank you, my lord. She certainly has his eyes, but I doubt if she'd want his hair.

I mean old man hair. Hoot, hoot, hoot. I can't think why you're still talking, Signor Benedict. No one's listening to you. If it isn't my lady disdain. Still alive, then. How could disdain die when there are people like Signor Benedict around to nourish it? Courtesy itself would turn to disdain if it met you. Nor then is courtesy a turncoat. Women love me. Oh! Well, yourself accept it. I wish I could find it in my heart to love them back. But I can't. Which is lucky for them.

as otherwise they'd be saddled with a tiresome suitor. Saddled? But I'm glad to say I'm like you. I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man say he loved me. Let's hope you stay that way, otherwise some poor fellow is going to get his eyes scratched out. That might improve his looks. I certainly would in your case. Oh gosh, how witty.

At least I have my share of wit, while some, it would seem, are witless. If only my horse was as quick as your tongue, it'd win every race out there. Well... I think I'll leave you the vent... your bile elsewhere. That's you all over! When the going gets tough, you beat a tactical retreat. Excellent. Benedict, Claudio, Leonardo has offered us bed and board. I told him we'd like to stay a month. He says he hopes something may happen to keep us longer.

And I could swear he means it. Swear that, my lord, and you won't be forsworn. You're very welcome too, Don John. Now that you've made your peace with your brother the prince, I am your servant. Thanks. I'm not a great talker, but thanks.

Will you lead on, your grace? Give me your hand and we'll go together. Let's go. A month of Claudio. Say, Benedict, did you note Senor Leonardo's daughter? I didn't note her, Claudio. I saw her. A modest creature, wouldn't you say? You want a straight answer? Shall I reply in my official capacity as a man who's never met a woman that measured up to his standards? A straight answer, please. Then...

I think she's too short for long praise, too thin for broad praise, too quiet for loud praise. All I can say is if she looked different, she wouldn't be pretty. Looking like she does? She's not my cup of tea. Seriously, what do you think of her? Why are you so eager for my opinion? Are you thinking of buying her? Who could afford such a priceless jewel?

I could, and a case to put it in. But are you serious about this? Bye. Bye. Goodbye. Don't forget your mask. Yeah. Well, masks. I forgot it was masks. See you tonight, Claudio. See ya. I think she's the loveliest creature I ever saw. Not to me she isn't, and I can see without spectacles. Her cousin, apart from being a fiend out of hell, as far surpasses her as the first of May does the last of December.

But I hope you're not thinking of marrying. If Hero would have me, I don't know that I wouldn't... I don't believe it. Does every man in Italy want to be a cuckold? Shall I never see a bachelor of 60 again? Well, if you must, put your neck in a yoke and turn every Sunday into a day of... oil and strife. Well, I won't try and stop you. That's... But here comes Don Pedro looking for you. Well, you two, what's the big secret?

I wish you'd make me tell your grace. I command you. On your allegiance. You hear that, Karl? I can be as discreet as one who lacked the power of speech entirely, but on my allegiance. He's in love. Benedict! You're supposed to ask, who with? The answer's short enough, with Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Is this true? As I am now, I hope so.

She would make any man an excellent wife. Your Grace, are you trying to trap me into a confession? Upon my word, I was simply stating my opinion. And upon my honor, I was stating mine. And upon both my words and honors, I was stating mine. Do you love her? I think so. I know she deserves to be loved. I can't think why anyone should love her, and I don't know why she should deserve it. And you can burn me at the stake before I renounce either of those beliefs. You would say that.

If the worship of women was the official religion, you'd be the chief heretic. As stubborn a one as you could hope to me. A woman conceived me, I thank her for that, and raised me, I thank her for that too. Not trusting them now saves a great deal of mistrust later. In fine... I'm fine, as I am. Someday I'll see you looking pale with love. With anger, perhaps, or sickness, or hunger, but not with love.

Ah. If ever you see me so pale from love that a glass or two of wine can't put the color back in my cheeks, you can prick out my eyes with a songwriter's pen and hang me up outside a tavern as the sign of blind Cupid. God help you if you're proven wrong The wild bull may the sensible Benedict won't If he does pluck off the bull's horns and put them here on my forehead

and have a dire picture painted of me and under it in big letters like they write horses for hire, write the married man. The married man. If this should ever happen, you would be horn man. And if Cupid hasn't used up all his arrows in Venice, you'll soon be eating your warts. Sure, and pigs might fly. As I say, time will tell. Meanwhile, Benedict, go to Leonardo's and tell him I'll be there for supper. I know he's gone to a lot of trouble. Dismiss! Your Grace.

I think I may require your help. What won't I do for such a valued friend? Monsieur, the governor's sister Antonia welcomes you. Please, give Antonia my kind regards. Directly to Governor Leonardo's villa? Please. You'll quickly find how readily I'll go to any lengths to be of use to you. Does Leonardo have a son, my lord? He rose his only child and his sole heir. Oh, she's caught your eye, I take it.

Oh, your grace. When we set off to fight this last campaign, I viewed her only with a soldier's eye. I liked her, but had tougher tasks in hand. No time to force my liking into love. But now that I have returned and thoughts of war no longer occupy me in their place, tender and sweet desires come crowding in. I think of hero's beauty. I recall being struck by her before I went to war. This sounds quite like a lover. Give it time and you'll be boring everybody sick with talk of her.

She's got your fancy. Fine. I'll break the noose to Hero and her father and you shall have her. Wasn't that your aim in spinning me this convoluted yarn? How kindly you administered a love! You read a lover's pain and his complexion. I feared my love might seem a touch too sudden and would have eked my explanation out. Why should the bridge be wider than the stream?

Say what you need to say. No more, no less. You've told me that you love her. That's enough. What now, Your Grace? I know there'll be festivities tonight. I shall... Attend them in disguise as you. I'll speak to Hero in the shape of Claudio. Apparently pour out my heart to her and tell her such a vivid tale of love. She'll have no option but to yield to it. Once that's accomplished, I'll inform her father, and the conclusion is, she shall be yours. Yes! Yes!

Let's put this into practice right away. Here we are, sir. Governor Leonato's villain.

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Every episode explains the moving parts clearly without assuming insider knowledge. Listen to She's Not Next, She's Now from the gist of it wherever you get your podcasts. That's She's Not Next, She's Now from the gist of it. Hello, my beautiful chefs. Smells delicious. Antonia, do you want it to speak to me? Brother, I have astonishing news. Good? Yes, depending on the outcome. Delicious. About an hour ago. The prince and Count Claudio were overheard by a driver of mine talking about Hero.

My driver told my dresser, who told me, that the prince told Claudio he was in love with her and was planning to tell her so tonight during the dancing. He said provided she returned his love, he was going to speak to you right away. This driver of yours and your dresser, can their reports be relied on? They are extremely smart. Well, we just won't lend this any credence till it is confirmed. But I'd best...

warn my daughter. For if true, she'll be prepared to give a suitable answer. Well, the only suitable answer is yes! Yes! Yes! Come, come, my lord, why so sad? I'm no sadder than the situation demands. That's to say, very sad indeed. I wish you'd listen to reason. What good will that do me? It'll give you the strength to endure. What planet were you born under? Saturn, wasn't it? Yes, sir.

You're supposed to take a dark, cynical view of life. Instead of which, you're preaching stoic virtues at me? I'm in torment. Damn it. I can't hide what I am. I must eat. when i'm hungry and not wait for anyone sleep when i'm tired even if it means missing an audience with the king laugh when i'm happy without caring who i offend and sulk

when I'm sad. Though the jokes were never so funny. Sure. But keep your sulking to yourself. At least while you're still accountable to your brother. Now you're back in favor. If you're to take root there, you must make your own climate. Create the weather that'll suit your harvest. I'd rather be a wild rose in a hedge than a tame one in his favor.

I prefer to be loathed by people than duck and weave to keep their affection. I may be a villain, but at least I'm a sincere one. I've been trusted with a muzzle. and set free with a chain. So I've decided not to sing in my cage. If I had my teeth, I'd bite. If I had my freedom, I'd do as I pleased. Meanwhile, let me be myself and don't try to change me. Couldn't you put your discontent to some use? I use it a lot. In fact, I use nothing else. Who's this? Barraccio! What's new?

I just came from a big dinner party. The prince your brother is being lavishly entertained by Leonardo. And guess what? There's a marriage in the offing. Any chance of mischief? Which idiot is consigning himself to a life of misery? Only your brother's right-hand man. Not cute little Claudio. That's the guy. Top class, stuffed shirt. Who's the lucky lady? Hero, Leonardo's daughter, and heir. I bet she can't wait, the filthy little bitch. How'd you find this out?

I was smoking here on the estate. The prince and Claudio came in, arm in arm, talking very seriously. I hid behind a curtain, and I heard them discussing a plan they'd cooked up whereby the prince would woo Hero for himself. And then once he'd woo her, give her to Claudio? What? I know. What are we waiting for? I smell an excellent outlet for my displeasure.

Since I fell from grace, that little upstart has stepped into my shoes. If I can screw things up for him in any way, I'll enjoy myself in every way. Well, can I count on you? To the death, my lord. Then let's hit this party. Doubtless they're having an extra good time because I've been put back in my box. Oh, if only the cook felt the same way as me. Let's go see what havoc we can wreak. To trash that jumped up jerk would make my week. We'll wait upon your lordship. Yes, sir!

The play on podcast series, Much Ado About Nothing, was written by William Shakespeare and translated into modern English verse by Ranjit Bolt. All episodes were directed by Brendan Fox. Radio play by Catherine Eaton. Executive producer, Michael Goodfriend. This podcast was recorded under a SAG-AFTRA agreement. The cast is as follows. Tracy Lane as Beatrice. Reg Rogers as Benedict. Taya Guarino as Hero. Zion Jang as Claudio.

Carmen Lechiveta as Don Pedro, Alejandra Escalante as Margaret and Conrad, Demosthenes Crisson as Leonardo, Dee Nelson as Antonia, Brian Owen as Dogberry, Stephen Michael Spencer as Boraccio, Evan Zess as Naval Cadet Oatcake and Sea Coal. Luis Moreno as Don John and the Sexton. Mary Bacon as Deacon Francis and Virgis. Casting by the Telsey Office, Karen Castle, CSA.

Voice and text coach, Julie Faux. Original music composition, mix and sound design by Lindsay Jones. Vocal arrangement and music direction by Stephen Michael Spencer. Sound engineering and mixing by Saraharu Yagi. Mix engineer and dialogue editor, Larry Walsh. Podcast mastering by Greg Cortez at New Monkey Studio. Coordinating producer, Transcend Streaming, Kira Bowie and Liana Keys.

The Play On Podcast series, Much Ado About Nothing, is produced by Next Chapter Podcasts and is made possible by the generous support of the Hitz Foundation. Visit nextchapterpodcasts.com for more about the Play On Podcast series. Visit playonshakespeare.org for more about Play on Shakespeare. Subscribe to Play on Premium for ad-free episodes and join our Patreon for exclusive merchandise and early commercial-free releases.

Go to nextchapterpodcast.com for our bonus content, where you'll find interviews with the artists, producers, and engineers who brought it all to life. And remember, the world must be peopled. Join Play On Premium to get merch like t-shirts, hoodies, and coffee mugs, ad-free episodes, and bonus content video featuring interviews with the actors, producers, playwrights, and directors who brought it all to life.

Go to ncpodcasts.com and subscribe to Play On Premium to support the art and the artists.