Hellboy Asylum Seeker with Andrew Young (Behold!)

I'm Anthony Sitko from Capes on the Couch, a show that examines the mental health issues of comic book characters. Part of the Guinea Geek Network. Just like the show you're checking out now, shows on the network are individually owned and opinions expressed may not reflect others. Find other stupendously geeky shows@guineeknetwork.com.

And welcome to Play comics, where once again we are here looking at a video game based on a comic property and how well it looks at that source material. And behold, for we have a wonderful returning guest today. It's Andrew from the podcast. Behold. Andrew, how are you today?

I'm very good, Chris, thank you. I like that a lot.

It's a good show.

You said there was going to be a surprise, and I was very worried, but that was just a nice little plug for behold the podcast that looks at movies based on comics and ranks them on our big list. Go listen to that. But after you finish listening to this.

Sometimes you can hear me. Today though, we are here looking at Hellboy, the Dogs of War, or Hellboy Asylum seeker or Hellboy, whatever secret third release this game had. Specifically were looking at the PS one version because just by the rules of this podcast, computer versions of games Dont exist. But I needed to know a little bit about Hellboy first because Hellboy is not somebody that I had a lot of experience with growing up. So, Andrew, what was it that drew you into looking at a Hellboy game?

I mean, you say Drew, I'm gonna say that you tricked me into playing by dangling the carrot of Hellboy, my favoritest comic series.

What is it that makes this your favorite comic series?

Think without a doubt, it's all about the atmosphere with Hellboy. Like, obviously, if you know Hellboy, you know, it's created almost entirely by Mike McCadola. I think John Byrne definitely, like, wrote the first story. But love the draws. Mike Mignola and Mike Mignola's art, which is just this like very stylized, very heavily shadowed. It's so moody and there's all these little like cutaway panels just to random bits of like, architecture and creepy designs. And it just, it feels so gothic and weird and just genuinely like you are reading something that is not meant to be beheld by like, puny mortal brains.

Hellboy as a name just seems like something that we would have made up in kindergarten and then just never let go of it. It's just such a great name. What I'm coming to learn is actually a pretty interesting character.

It is. And I think like I said, that is kind of a draw as well, that it is quite a simple name, because that's gonna help us whole deal. Like he is. I think all this described him as being, like, basically an exterminator. So he's just this average working class guy. I mean, is also a literal demon from hell, but it's like he'll go into a place, he'll see some, like, otherworldly horror the size of a building that, you know, if the mortal eye tried to behold it. I did my own reference, but if. If we mere mortals saw it, we would go insane. And he's just, like, madly annoyed by it, and then he punches it with his big rock fist, the red my hand of doom.

Where does Hellboy actually come from? In the world of the Hellboy comics?

So, in the world of the Hellboy comics, Hellboy is the son of a demon and a witch who was born in hell but was then summoned to earth in the 1940s by a nazi occult ritual, which got interrupted by the US and British. So it then got raised by a british scientist and went on to punch Nazis, and then when there were no more nazis to punch, started punching monsters in a classic everyday stuff.

And where do monkeys and guns come into the story?

Uh, of course, where any good monkey comes into a story as the subject of a mad science experiment.

So basically, what you're saying is the fact that I hadn't read this until I was preparing for this episode is something that's going to send me straight to hell. Boy, how much of hell do you get to see in Hellboy?

Um, first, not a lot, and then quite a lot in the final few arcs called Hellboy in Hell final.

Like, they're not making anymore.

Oh, yeah. Hellboy it is finished. It's like a complete series, which means you can go by all the trades, Chris, buy the luxury editions that come in the big box with all the arcane symbols.

I actually, a while ago, bought a Hellboy bundle on humble bundle. So I do have digital copies of this. I just hadn't actually opened them because I knew at some point that I was going to end up reading them, and then I just never did until I was getting ready for this.

Well, if it's not clear, I would heartily recommend reading them.

What is it about Hellboy that just really draws you to the character?

I think it is that just the fact that he isn't complicated, which I know sounds weird, but it's like that juxtaposition of there's so much huge, like, horrible nightmare stuff surrounding him, like, the end of the world. And it ties into, like, bathurian mythology and, like, all these various, like, different cultural folklore things intersecting, basically making, like, the most important arcane thing in the world. And he's just a guy. He's just a guy who doesn't really want to be here. But I guess if there's a big monster, he's just go punch the big monster, and then hopefully I can go home and have a beer. And I think it's just, that's such a fun idea.

What kind of beer would you have with Hellboy? And what kind of beer do you think he would have? At that same time?

It is absolutely just like the cheapest, nastiest stuff you can get off the shelf. Like, is it, is it pabst blue ribbon that, like, is always in the shows?

I think so. I'm a beer snob, so, like, they could be having actual brands, for all I know, that are actually cheap.

Oh, also, I do need to make the important exception. Hellboy doesn't always drink beer. He will drink rum if he's drinking.

The skeletons. Are the skeletons drinking too?

Yes. Yes, they are. It's because apart from Hellboy being, like, one of the greatest works of horror fiction of the God, I guess, 20th and 21st century, it's also great for all the means of which the holy trifecta. Ah, he has eaten the pancake. He will never come back to us now. Is that a monkey? Look out, he's got a gun. Lamb. Lamb. And of course, don't mess with me, lady. I've been drinking with skeletons.

When skeletons go drinking, where does the drink go?

I mean, that's the big question, isn't it? If there was one flaw with Mike McNaughl's hellboy, it is that he does not explain where the drink goes when the skeletons have been drinking.

Well, that's it. We're just gonna have to get Mike Nagola on here specifically to ask him where the drink goes when the skeletons go drinking.

Yes, I am wholeheartedly in favor of this plan.

Okay. Getting back slightly on the more serious, and I can't believe I just said that about a literal demon from hell, but, you know, back on the more serious side of things, yes, there are nazis involved. We're not gonna get too much into that here, because I have some plans for a future Hellboy game. And if everything works out the way I want it to, we can definitely hit it pretty hard over in that one. But here with Hellboy, I see a few things just in little bits of my research that jump out to me as other things I should know about. I don't because I am a horrible comics fan and don't know things. So this bureau for Paranormal Research Defense didn't really click in my head as anything until I saw the BPRD acronym there. And I mean, is that pretty much just what it sounds like on the tin? Just government group doing paranormal research?

Yes. So that's essentially in Hellboy, the organization that sort of springs up after World War Two that helped him, Professor Broom, whose if the adopted father starts up basically, you know, to look into reports of spooky monster. Is there a spooky monster? Yes, there is Hellboy. Go punch it. So that's kind of the first few arcs. Hellboy works for them. That introduces a lot of the side characters. Well, like you've got Abe Sapien the fish man, bliss Sherman, who's pyrokinetic, Johann Kraus who's a ghost, and Roger the homunculus, who is a homunculus. And then gonna actually, fairly early on in the series, Hellboy ends up quitting the bprd. And then that's when it kind of goes off into its own spin off book, which is also very good, written by John R. Cooney, if I remember correctly. I think Mike McDonald wrote, like, at least some of it as well.

It's really starting to seem like a Hellboy is something that I should have gotten into a lot sooner. And I'm a horrible person. And Hellboy is going to come and grind my bones with his giant rock hand to make his bread.

I mean, he might do. I guess there's only one way to be sure, and that's beat all the hellboy.

Please, please don't come turn me into bread.

Probably. But he is also Santa Claus, so he probably won't.

Oh, that's good. So wait, he's a demon from hell, but he's Santa Claus and he's a demon from hell. And things from hell are bad, but he punches Nazis and Nazis are bad. So, I mean, this, this seems just like a really complex character that people, especially in that world, I would assume, would see him and say, oh no, that's a monster. I'm very scared and either faint or run away. But he is not a monster. He is instead Godzilla saving the nation from an evil alien. Godzilla. And the people are still scared of him because he looks big and scary.

Kind of the only problem there is that in a lot of the films, Godzilla defeats, like the space Godzilla, and then is like, no destroying Tokyo for you, or maybe a little destroying Tokyo for me. Whereas Hellboy would just save Tokyo.

While Hellboy was out saving Tokyo from space Godzilla, what would be some of the powers that he had going for him?

The thing about Hellboy is it is basically just, he is good at punching and good at being punched. Like, he is pretty much uncomfortable. Like, he will get smacked around a lot during fights, but is basically fine because, I mean, he's super humanly durable. He's got his big fist, which can do big punches. Also usually has a very big gun as well, which I like. The fact he has a massive gun because he's horribly inaccurate. That's basically just it. Well, if I just shoot, like, everything within a certain radius, I'll hit what I want to eventually.

That logic works. And I've fired muskets before, which are also horribly inaccurate. You just. You're essentially shooting a bb instead of a grape shot, so you don't really get that spray pattern in there.

But, yeah, that's the thing about Hellboy is, like, his personality, his, like, core powers are very basic. So a lot of the time, it's just a point of. Right. You know, there's a twelve foot, 20 foot tall dragon that I've got to fight. I'm just gonna go punch it until it falls down. And that's why Hellboy's great.

Andrew, I want to kind of compare this to something else that is great. The reason that we got to be friends over on a mutual fan group of X Men stuff of the X Men characters, who do you think would end up being the bestest friends with Hellboy?

Oh, I mean, Hellboy and Wolverine absolutely. Go to a bar and, like, drink for several hours, say maybe, like, ten words to each other, and because of that, decide that they are best friends forever.

That was instantly the first one I thought of, too. They might let Ron Swanson in that group, which, ironically enough, would make the words count's average go down even further.

Just the trifecta of grumpy middle aged men who just want to sit quietly and have a drink.

I guess the only real question is, when some trouble started at the bar, which one would be the first one to just kind of not look, but punch behind him to hit the problem?

Oh, I mean, I feel like the objectively correct answer has to be that Hellboy grabs Wolverine with the right hand of doom and just fastball specials in.

Well, we are going to brainstorm some ideas for artists that we can get to make that image happen while I drop some promos. For a few other shows.

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Welcome to Shatanami, a variety podcast that discusses topics from gaming and films to anime in general interests. Previously on Chats and Army. Weve analysed what makes a good horror game, conducted a retrospective on Pierce Brosnan, runs James Bond, and listened to us take deep dives into both the sonic and Halo franchises.

Also, if youre an anime fan, then dont forget to check us out on our sub series Chatsunani, where we dive into the world of anime. So far weve reviewed things like Death Note, Princess Mononoke and the hit Beyblade series.

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Those are some great shows to check out. But first, let's finish up with this one. Alright, Andrew, we've been avoiding this long enough. Hellboy Asylum Seeker is a thing that both of us had to experience and we are both worse off for it. Let's not even beat around the bush at all on this one.

Yeah, I'll be honest, Chris, I got someone to talk about Hellboy. I kind of forgot that I'd come on because we'd played this terrible game.

Well, let's set the stage for this game a little bit. Hellboy Asylum Seekers was originally released on computers as the Dogs of War in 2001. And then for some reason in 2004, this game was released on the PS one, retitled as Hellboy Asylum Seeker, developed by Hoplite Research and published by Dreamcatcher Interactive.

Yeah, I think about 2004, that's fairly soon after the first Hellboy film, isn't it?

That is what I'm seeing is the best reason for this game existing because hey, there's a Hellboy game. We can do a minimal amount of work, hort the game over to the PS one, which, mind you, the PS two had already been out for a few years at this point, but we can port it over to the PS one and have a game that people will maybe buy because it's not based on the movie at all.

Yeah, it's also not based on the comics. Really? And also not based on. Well, I was gonna say not based on good video games. But that's a lie. It is based on good video games because it's just a resident evil knockoff.

Down to the tank controls. I thought we were done with tank controls in 2004. Normally, we don't get into the nitty gritty gameplay aspects of stuff like that in the show. Tank controls for things that anybody who's unaware of are ones where your controls are based around which way the character is facing. So if you want to go right, you have to think about which way your character is facing and then press whichever one is right relative to that, which could be up or left or down or sometimes actually right. And it's just blah. And already I tried not to get off to a bad start with things like that on these games. Tank controls. In a time when tank controls didn't have to exist. Just puts me in a bad mindset.

Yeah. And to be fair, I think it is like, the core problem of this game is that it's just so, like, awkward and cumbersome to play it. Like, it's just you slowly stomp around. You see, you gotta go over there's now gotta rotate Hellboy, stomp over there. Then there's an enemy. You've gotta fight them. And, oh, my gosh, Chris, they're fighting. In this game.

I don't expect Hellboy to control super smoothly. I don't expect to be able to get super precision spots on anything. But mostly I looked at gameplay videos of this one because I started to emulate it and then I said, no, this isn't gonna happen. And I get that you maybe have a character that you're trying to say is not based on precision. You still have to have a playable game.

Yeah, like, I think tank controls work in something like resident evil because you're meant to be just like a squishy human fighting horrible zombies. So it makes it more stressful when the controls are a bit slow. But in this, like, it's just annoying. Like, it's annoying to move about. It's especially annoying in fights because, like, you go up to an enemy, you punch them, but then that, like, knocks them to the side. So then you've got to, like, spin yourself around so you can punch him again. And the punching is literally just, you hold down the attack button, and Hellroy does, like, two punches with his normal fist. One big punch, and it does, like, no damage. But there's. There's not, like, a block, there's not any combos. So it's just standing there holding the button until the enemy falls down.

I want to make sure I did hear something right from you. And this is not based on any particular story arc or anything, right?

No, this is just like a new, original story. Well, a new story. I would not call this an original story because it's just, uh, there's a pole to hell. It opens every 666 years, because, of course it does. You need to find the amulet so you can close it and, oh, big spooky monster, punch it a bit. Okay.

You've beaten it.

Well done.

Thank dog that this is not based on an actual story arc. If I had learned that this was based on an actual story arc, I would have been somewhat some combination of mad that they could ruin it that much and really, really disinterested in ever reading Hellboy for myself.

Yeah. Because it is just the most cookie cutter plot imaginable.

This is the game plot that is officially from. I don't remember if it was the developer of the publisher. When the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense sends its best agents on a routine mission, it quickly turns into a terrifying nightmare. A simple mission to search for a missing agent ends up being much more than agents Hellboy and Sarah had bartered for. Now trapped in an asylum, they find themselves in the midst of sinister activities, intent on uniting the darkest forces in the world for Earth's ultimate destruction. That sounds like such a cooler cookie cutter story than we got, and I hate that a cookie cutter story can be better than what we got.

I mean, I guess if we're being charitable, it is sort of like the overall plot of the first Ark of Hellboy, where it's like Grigori Rasputin trying to open a pole to hell, which is what brings Hellboy through in the first place. But, I mean, it's clearly not based on that. It's just, you know, Paul to hell. That's. That's everything, isn't it? That's like Event Horizon. It's any spooky nonsense.

So it's the hallmark AI copy of what Hellboy was told to you about third hand.

Yes, it's pretty much exactly that.

Going through this game knowing that it's not based on anything specific, like, I don't want to sit here and, oh, this level, that level kind of stuff. You've got your basic levels for the time period, sewers and asylums and graveyards and libraries and, you know, everything normal. You've got the old Windows 95 maze screensaver level over and over.

Yeah. Harvey almost doesn't want to be too harsh, because I feel like, but then again, they did just literally re release an old game without updating it. When did Legend of the Wind Waker come out?

Wind Waker came out in December of 2002.

Okay, so they've literally done, yeah, depending.

On how you want to look at this, it either came out after dogs of war, which, okay, we can go there or before asylum seeker.

Yeah. See, this then, I think, is where the distinction becomes important because it's, the graphics is something I could probably forgive Dogs of War for because it's like, it's the best you can manage with the technology available. Asylum seeker, though. No, you, you had the technology to make something better, but instead you just decided to try and polish. No, let me try and polish it. Just re release it to it. Because I feel like the reason that's about wind waker is I think that kind of cel shaded look is what you need to create something with the atmosphere of, like, the comics. This has just got that really put into this perspective just how, like, all of this was, even for the time.

Let's put it into perspective a different way as well. Some other games that were released in 2001, you had combat evolved. I don't know which one that is in the series because I don't play Halo.

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's the first halo. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This was the same time as the first halo.

Well, let me put this into a perspective on my perspective. I am specifically looking at 2001, so that could make it worse depending on which year you're thinking of. But 2001 was also the year of Final Fantasy X. Yeah.

Okay, dogs of War, you are back on the chopping blast. This is not forgivable as just a, oh, well, this is the best you could do at the, this is not the best you could do at the time. The best you could do at the time is a lot better.

Even if you want to look at. Okay. Horror themed stuff. How do you handle making something like that and make it work? 2001 was the year of Silent Hill two. Oh, my God.

Hell, you literally had the blueprint right there.

Hellboy.

Just make it look like Silent Hill two, but with a big red demon guy. That's all you need to do.

This hole. Do they even have any other actual Hellboy characters pop up in the game.

Well, I think you'll be shocked to learn that, you know, exciting three dimensional deep character Sarah is not from the comics. I mean, I guess to be fair, though, like, there are plenty of examples of just, like, random bprd agents showing up who then get killed.

Okay, so I can give them a pass on making someone up.

Yeah, it's. It's certainly the kind of series where it's easy to just make up a new character and throw them in if they're just, like, some random person.

But what about the villains? Is there anybody actually from the comics on that side of things?

Uh, not that I recall. Cause the villain's name is, what, like, Helen or something, isn't it? Unless he's, like, some dude who shows up in bat. One random story, but I don't think he is.

I'm so glad that I wasn't just stupid and missed it then, because I really tried to find somebody. And hearing you, friend who knows the most about Hellboy tell me that it's not my fault that I couldn't find anybody makes me feel a whole lot better.

Yeah. I mean, this literally, you could take out Hellboy replacing someone else, and easily, lisa is not a Hellboy thing. In fact, you could take out Hellboy and replace him with Chris Redfield. Cause again, this is just a bad resident evil knockoff.

And in some ways, Chris Redfield would be better because he can fall out of a window.

Yes. Yes, he can. It also makes sense for Chris Redfield that it would take him, like, 100 punches to kill a monster.

I also just realized that I've probably been saying Hellboy dogs of war when the actual computer title of the game was Hellboy Dogs of the night. But I'm not gonna go back and fix it because the game doesn't deserve it.

Yeah. Whoops. We accidentally gave it a better name.

I mean, dogs of the night isn't a horrible name. I'll give them that.

I don't think the dogs even feature in it that much, do they?

Not from what I noticed.

Like, I think there's a dog monster at the start that kills the. Whatever his name is. Random bprd agent. But then, I mean, I think Hellboy fights may, like, there are probably dog enemies in it, but then, like, the plot is about some evil wizards, and then the final boss is like a frame mantis demony thing.

Andrew, this might be the hardest question I have to ask you for this entire time. What does this game actually get right about Hellboy?

It's okay. I knew this was coming, and I have open answer prepared, because, actually, the one point I will give this game is that it does absolutely nail Hellboy's character. Like, just that kind of grumpy. I think maybe some of it is accidental because the voice acting is really bad, but just the fact that, like, is not affected by anything. Like, I know there's one boss fight I played with a weird giant bird lady. So he just, like, goes into a room, punches it to death, walks back out, and SEM's like, oh, my God. Help my. What the happened? He's like, ugh, giant bird monster. Hate those. It's that kind of whole, like, oh, just another day on the job attitude.

Also, the character vaguely looks like Hellboy. If you asked me to guess who it was, I might guess that.

I mean, he looks like Hellboy in the cutscenes where he's rendered properly, but sometimes also his head, like, impodes in on itself, so it's just like a weird blob. Also, he isn't wearing his big trench coat, which is very annoying to me.

Trench coats are just cool. And if you take a trench coat away from a character, then instantly lose 50 billion points.

Yeah.

Editor Chris is popping in here now. Just to let you know that from here on out, Andrew's audio kind of goes to crap. I am choosing to believe that that is nazi occultism rising up from hell. And that is also why my audio is fine, because I am being saved by the Atlantic Ocean, and he only had the English Channel to protect him from that. So, yeah, smaller body of water for them to have to cross to get to him. I'm not gonna ask you what this game gets wrong, because if anybody wants to hear that, they could just start the episode over.

Yeah. It's literally everything about Hellwood, everything about game design.

I'm asking you this question on purpose. This is another one that you should know is coming. But if you had somebody who wanted to get into Hellboy besides me, because you got me wanting to really get into it, first by wanting to come onto the game, but also by, oh, no, there's a monkey. He has gun. But would you give somebody this game as a primer course for getting into Hellboy?

Funnily enough, no, I wouldn't. But I don't think I'd even tell someone to avoid this game. I'm just gonna let it, like, fade away back into non existence, because I feel like this podcast is the first time anyone has thought about this game in, like, at least a decade.

I did find some reviews and stuff on YouTube, a timeline. They seem to be from people who are specifically seeking out this kind of thing. So, you know, kind of the same trap I fall into of you're gonna run into it eventually. I'm with you, though. Even knowing as little as I do about the Hellboy character and franchise and stuff, I want this to fall into that middle ground of it's so bad, but not in a fun way that it just gets lost to time. Yeah, I mean, the Silver Surfer game and Uncanny X Men on NES, they at least have a place in history of being super horrible. And it's kind of fun sometimes to play those super horrible games and watch those super horrible movies. This one does not hit those levels of horrible fun. Let's say four to six months ago. You realize that I've never read Hellboy because that would have been true in that timeline. What comic would you show me and say, hey, Hellboy is like this. Why the hell don't you like Hellboy, you dummy?

I think if it was gonna be just like a single story for the bondholder course, which is, I mean, my favourite, Hellboy struck, as you tell, in England, investigating because a couple babies being replaced by this, like, shape shifting fairy monster. But to get the, like, real baby back, he's got to help out a bunch of other fairies who were trying to find a place to bury a corpse, but also the corpse in tomorrow with a cops chained to his back and try and find like a bell just before morning. And it's great because that, that's how it's like sort of weird, surreal, very like Japan comedy mixed in with, like, spooky supernatural stuff, like bringing in a bunch of folklore, that's great because then I end up having to watch deadline.

And if you had to pick one game to say, I know this isn't technically a Hellboy game, but you should play this instead to kind of get the feel for Hellboy besides resident evil and besides Silent Hill, because you are the guest of. I have to take away the obvious choices here. What game or game series would you give me and say, yeah, this is basically just Hellboy with a different book?

Oh, man, that is a cured question. I feel like maybe you could do something with, like, Skyrim, but specifically you could character who is just all, like, physical strength and just do all the weirds of like, vale of craft missions, possibly also just mast effects. But you're playing a vanguard.

I haven't even really played either one of these.

Fundamentally, what you need for Hellboy is a game that has the two elements of Lovecraft and spooky monsters, and a big punchy man is a pissed listeners.

Let me know what game you would substitute in as a Hellboy game, even though it doesn't actually have the Hellboy character in it. Andrew, it is. It has been great getting to talk to you about Hellboy and having you just pound into my head with your giant fist that I should actually read Hellboy and just stop being a. No, Hellboy reading Demon monster. Where else can they find you? Around the Internet?

If you want to find more of me, you can find my podcast. Behold. Where, like I said of this other show, we cover recent tv shows based on various comics and rank them all to see which is the best and which is the most. And that's it these days because all social media platforms. But thanks for having me on the show. It's been fun. And I mean, I'm happy whenever I get to talk about Hellboy.

Does behold have a Hellboy episode yet? I can't remember.

We. We have. We do have a it out here. Listen to that one. Cause I didn't.

We'll have a link to that one down in the show notes, you know, plus a link to the show in general, but specifically to that episode.

He's not just the prefix listeners.

We'll also have a link to what is possibly going to be the bottom of your list for a very, very long time. Fan forstick.

Yes, absolutely. Listen to the fan episode. This is our bonus. And second all.

I like that. Please don't forget that play Comics is a part of the Guineek.com network, home to such wonderful shows as Legends of. S H I E l D, where.