Today we’re putting Xander in the hot seat and making him answer all your burning questions about male behavior. Why do they hook boobs? Why are they such big babies when they’re sick? And of course, the age-old question: what's the deal with their marathon bathroom visits? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights. Links & Resources: Course: Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekl...
Sep 07, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 120
Jealousy is one of the most difficult emotions to face, and it feels even trickier when it comes up in your romantic relationship. It’s such a common feeling to have, but it’s also so challenging to even acknowledge. We asked our community to share what stirs up jealousy in their relationship. Four core themes emerged: work, friendships, sex, and attraction to others. We work through these real-life examples and give you a powerful toolkit for grappling with jealousy in your relationship. Most i...
Aug 31, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 119
Foreplay? More like the BEST way! Today we’re talking about the part of sex that never gets the credit it deserves - foreplay! Foreplay is the number one way to get your partner to orgasm, and one of the best ways to create more intimacy, connection, and excitement. With all those benefits, why aren’t we doing it more often? 88% of men and 59% of women say they want more! But 67% of women feel like they’re “too needy” for wanting foreplay, 56% say they struggle to receive it, and 62% say forepla...
Aug 24, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 118
What do you assume or secretly suspect about us? Or what have you simply been curious about? In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into the assumptions you sent our way after we posted those questions on Instagram. From light-hearted and sexy to profoundly personal, your submissions held nothing back, and we’re sharing our vulnerable and honest truths! Our goal? To make you chuckle, perhaps catch you off guard (like we were when reading some of these), and give you a peek behind the curtain. J...
Aug 17, 2023•57 min•Ep. 117
Do you ever find yourself mid-sentence with your partner and realize that they’re not even remotely paying attention to you? No one wants to feel like they’re competing with a device for their partner's attention, but it’s not like you can just toss the damn thing out. If you’re frustrated with your partner’s phone usage, tune in to learn practical ways to establish better phone routines and deepen your connection irl with your partner. Links & Resources: Guide: The Connection Challenge (https:/...
Aug 10, 2023•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 116
How do you maintain intimacy while grieving? We’ve had many requests to create this podcast episode, and to be honest, we resisted because the topic felt so heavy. But then we experienced our own loss - our beloved companion, Winston the pug. Suddenly, we were trying to figure out how to navigate sex and grief in our own relationship. In this incredibly vulnerable episode, we share our experience of mourning. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but we hope our story can help others on the ...
Aug 03, 2023•59 min•Ep. 115
Has your partner ever done or said something painful, leaving you wondering, “Can we come back from this?” Sometimes you need an outside party to either guide you and your partner through moving past the hurt, or to validate that the relationship can’t survive the blow. Prepare yourself to hear some pretty spicy takes as we examine each situation and get real about when to talk it out, when to just plain walk, and how to know the difference. Because while we fully support communication and forgi...
Jul 27, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 114
Want to unlock the secrets to great pregnancy sex? We know, your body feels alien to you, your hormones are all over the place, and somehow all the things that used to work in the bedroom just don’t feel the same anymore. But don’t worry, it’s still possible to keep the fires burning while pregnant. We’re here to guide you through the most common challenges couples face during this extraordinary journey. We’re talking about things like body image issues, fears of hurting the baby, and libido cha...
Jul 20, 2023•54 min•Ep. 113
Compliments. They sound like such a small act but they can make such a huge difference in the intimacy of your relationship. But for most couples, compliments are surprisingly hard to come by! Maybe you’ve never been good at receiving them, so now your partner doesn’t feel it’s worth the effort. Maybe your family never gave compliments when you were growing up, so you’re uncomfortable with them. Or maybe you’ve simply forgotten how sweet they can be! We’re here to help you figure out what your p...
Jul 13, 2023•58 min•Ep. 112
Why is it so hard to talk to your partner about sex? You talk about everything else, but the minute it becomes about your sex life, they shut down. It’s not just you! In our recent Instagram poll, 52% of people reported having this issue with a partner. In this episode, we dissect the four most common reasons why partners refuse to talk about sex, and help you understand the reasons your partner may behave this way. We give you specific examples of what to say (and not say) so you can get past t...
Jul 06, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 111
Want to hear some of the craziest things that have ever happened to our community in the middle of sex? We asked you guys to share your most hysterical and mortifying stories, and wow did you deliver! We may be serious about sex education, but we also think there’s a lot of humor to find in all the awkward mishaps! We choose not to shrink in shame, especially if it makes for a great story! So if you’re looking for a good belly laugh or just want to delight in some cautionary tales, buckle up, be...
Jun 29, 2023•41 min•Ep. 110
Are you frustrated by how sex gets initiated in your relationship? Does the way your partner initiates feel boring, frustrating, or annoying? Do you find yourself feeling too self-conscious or awkward to initiate? If so, you’re not alone! We polled our audience, and only 17% of people were happy with the state of initiation with their partners. Shocked by those initial findings, we decided to dig even deeper with an in-depth survey. Over 10,000 people responded! In this episode, we break down th...
Jun 22, 2023•58 min•Ep. 109
Real talk - are you faking orgasms? There are so many understandable reasons why you may have started faking. Maybe you were trying to protect your partner’s ego, or trying to make it seem like there was good chemistry between the two of you. Maybe you were worried about taking too long to orgasm, or maybe you‘d never had one so you didn’t even know how you were supposed to get there with your partner. But what do you do if you’re now in the situation where you’ve been faking for so long that yo...
Jun 15, 2023•49 min•Ep. 108
This week, we’re dedicating an entire episode to our queer community! Inclusivity is one of our core company values, and while we try to make all of our content as inclusive as possible, we wanted to highlight and celebrate our queer community in this special episode. It was important to us to center the queer experience, so we asked our queer community members to share questions they would love to ask to other queer people. We got questions like: Best tips for navigating the coming out process?...
Jun 08, 2023•41 min•Ep. 107
In over 100 episodes of Pillow Talks, we’ve never had a guest. But we broke the mold to bring on Tracy O’Malley, and after hearing this episode, we think you’ll understand why. Tracy is a phenomenal Enneagram expert who helps you understand how your personality type affects how you show up in life and love. We thought it would be fun to do a couples session with Tracy, and we gave her full permission to share our strengths and challenges with you. We were absolutely blown away - like jaws on the...
Jun 01, 2023•1 hr 30 min•Ep. 106
Get ready for the highly anticipated sequel to one of our most popular episodes yet! Back in Episode 91 we asked the age-old question, “Is This Normal?” We're back to deliver another round of jaw-dropping, mind-boggling, and side-splitting revelations in our second installment. You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal to resent my husband after having a baby? Is it normal that I started masturbating at age five? Is it normal for a man to need assistance to get hard? Is it normal being ...
May 25, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 105
Friends, followers, and first-time listeners, gather 'round for a podcast episode like no other! Get ready to dive into our New York Times instant best-selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. With special permission from our publisher Simon & Schuster, we’re able to share the entire first chapter of the audiobook with you! The first chapter is a special one. After listening, you’ll understand why sex starts to feel so complicated in long-term relations...
May 18, 2023•55 min•Ep. 104
Our “What Do Men Really Think About” episodes were so popular that we knew we just had to do an episode about what women are really thinking! So we asked our Instagram community to give us topics they’ve always been curious about, and we turned those questions into polls that we asked women to answer. This week, we’re sharing what women really think about topics like penis performance issues, masturbation, penis size, period sex (wait until you hear Xander’s story about his college girlfriend), ...
May 11, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 103
You wanna go another round? Because we DEFINITELY do! It’s time for part 2 of Smash Or Pass, our series where we try out the internet’s weirdest sex tips. This time it’s all about intercourse. If you haven’t listened to the first one (episode 97), make sure you head over there after this episode. We thought we went as far out of the box as we’d ever go in that first episode, but we were wrong. Let’s just say that in this episode, we go to new heights of what we’re willing to do on air for you! T...
May 04, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 102
Have you ever looked at your partner and thought to yourself, “I love you, but I don’t like you right now”? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us! We’ve been dying to do an episode about the topic, but when we polled our audience on IG, it quickly became obvious that this needed to be a series, not just a single episode. So this week, we’re focusing on one of the most frequent complaints - gaming. 40% of our Instagram community said gaming is hurting their relationship. The gamers are feelin...
Apr 27, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 101
Can you believe this is our 100th episode??? We knew we had to do something super special to commemorate the occasion, so we decided to play “Know Ya Boo” (bonus points if you get the Parks and Rec reference). You guys gave us 50 questions, and our job was to guess each other’s answers. The results had us in stitches from start to finish. There’s even one answer that we had to censor. Make sure you listen all the way through to get the scoop on which one of us comes out on top. (Let’s just say V...
Apr 20, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 100
Have you heard of The Bristle Reaction? We recently made a TikTok about this term that Vanessa created, and 8 million people watched! The Bristle Reaction is when your partner comes in for a hug or a kiss, and you feel yourself recoil. No matter how much you love your partner, there are times when their touch can immediately create a sense of tension. We polled our Instagram audience and found out 84% of people have experienced The Bristle Reaction. Even though it’s so common, most people have n...
Apr 13, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 99
It’s time to talk about Dead Bedrooms. Does your sex life feel like a ghost of what it used to be? Has it felt that way so long that you don’t know if it will ever recover? Are you grappling with feelings of isolation, loneliness, shame, and/or hopeless? First of all, please know that you’re not alone. When we reached out to our Instagram audience asking people to share their stories of Dead Bedrooms, we were completely overwhelmed by the number of responses. There are so many couples feeling we...
Apr 06, 2023•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 98
We’ve all seen the articles from cheesy women’s magazines (and TikTok)…“10 foolproof ways to drive your man wild in bed!” But so many of the tips just sound weird. (Slipping a donut over his penis? Really?) There’s a never-ending supply of suggestions to supposedly turn up the heat in the bedroom, but do any of them actually work?? We asked our Instagram audience to share the sex tips they’ve always been curious about, and decided to be the guinea pigs for you! Along with some hilarious sex mish...
Mar 30, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 97
Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time? In the same bed? In the same ROOM? It’s easy to get stuck in the stereotypes of what a couple “should” be doing, and what it means if you and your partner have unconventional sleep habits. After polling our Instagram audience, we found that many of you are worried that “different” is spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e, so in this grab bag episode, we address a collection of sleep-related topics that we hope will put your minds at ease. We’ll tell you all ab...
Mar 23, 2023•51 min•Ep. 96
Mental Load sucks. But are you accidentally making it even harder? We originally talked about Mental Load way back in episode 4, and in today’s episode, we’re going to zone in on two nuances that can make or break your attempts to balance your partnership: perfectionism and male Mental Load. Do you have a specific way that you like tasks to be done around the house? Maybe you find yourself feeling frustrated at your partner because they never do things the way you would do them. Or you get upset...
Mar 16, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 95
Welcome to Pillow Talks! Is this your first time listening to our podcast? Maybe you bought our book Sex Talks and you’re just starting to dig into our episodes. Or maybe you’ve been listening for a while, but still don’t really know our story. Whatever the case may be, we’re so glad to have you and can’t wait to tell you a little more about who we are and what we do! It seems like a good time for a reintroduction into our backstory and all the content we have to offer. Ever wonder how a sex the...
Mar 09, 2023•59 min•Ep. 94
Ready for the most epic game of Would You Rather? We’ve done Would You Rather on Instagram a few times, and it was such a hit that we decided to bring it to the podcast. We asked you for your best Would You Rather questions, and sat down to play without discussing our answers beforehand. You’ll get to hear our genuine reactions and honest responses as we giggle our way through the submissions you’ve sent in. Stay tuned to the end to hear our immediate buyer’s remorse that sent us over the edge. ...
Mar 02, 2023•53 min•Ep. 93
It’s official… Sex Talks is a New York Times INSTANT Bestseller! But to be totally up front with you, the process of getting here has been pretty wild. There have been SO many surprises, frustrations, and downright heartbreaks. So we decided to pull back the curtain and get brutally honest about this journey has really been like. We’ve been keeping a secret journal of all of the ups and downs of the last few months. Stories we couldn’t tell you here or on Instagram. Stories we’re finally able an...
Feb 23, 2023•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 92
Have you ever had a question that you were too embarrassed to even Google? You know, the kinda stuff that you don’t even talk about with your best friend. The stuff that makes you ask, “Is this normal?” Well we have, and that’s why we decided to make an episode covering all the topics you can’t ask anywhere else. We asked you for your most embarrassing questions, then polled them all on Instagram. We collected enough evidence to prove, definitively, that no matter how you feel about any of these...
Feb 16, 2023•57 min•Ep. 91
