Angie Colee (00:03):
Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass. The show that gives you a virtual seat at the bar for the real conversations that happen between entrepreneurs. I'm interviewing all kinds of business owners from those just a few years into freelancing to CEOs, helming nine figure companies. If you've ever worried that everyone else just seems to get it and you're missing something or messing things up, this show is for you. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and let's get to it. Hey, welcome back to Permission to Kick Ass with me today is my new friend Sarah Walton. Say hi.
Sarah Walton (00:37):
Hey, Angie.
Angie Colee (00:38):
Oh my gosh. I'm lo just from pre-recording and all the discussions we were having, I'm already loving the energy and excited about this one. So tell us a little bit about your business and what you do.
Sarah Walton (00:48):
Yeah, sure, sure. So I am a business coach. I know if you just went, oh my God, you can't throw a cat without hitting a business coach. That is sort of true. Yeah. Uh, but my specialty is sales and abundance. Um, and I work exclusively with women, and my job, I believe, is to put more money in the hands of more women.
Angie Colee (01:06):
Awesome. Yeah, I freaking love that. In terms of a mission, especially since historically, I feel like, uh, women are really uncomfortable with not only asking for the sale, but also accepting money for what they do. Like I hear so many people that I work with, women in particular that are like, no, I I, that took me like five minutes. I'm not gonna charge for that. Mm-hmm. , five minutes, the time that it takes is irrelevant. The value is what's relevant here. And did that take your time, take some of your expertise, provide value for the other person. And yes, you absolutely can and should ask for compensation. It's
Sarah Walton (01:40):
Fine. Yeah, absolutely. And, and I have to be honest, I think our proclivity towards this is by design. We have been taught this since a very young age. You know, I call it the invisible work that women do on the daily that makes the world work. Mm-hmm. and we don't get paid for it. And isn't that convenient for everyone else? Yeah. Um, but no, this really is by design. And it, you know, it comes from something that, uh, a beautiful psychologist Terry Cole in New York City came up with. She has a, a really interesting book called Boundary Boss. Um, I don't love the title, but I love the content in that she coined a phrase that I really love. It's called High Functioning Codependence. And it's funny, if I'm ever speaking in front of a group of women and I say high functioning codependence, everyone goes, that's me.
Sarah Walton (02:27):
I'm like, I haven't even defined it yet, but there's like something about it where we all go, yeah, no, that's me. That's me. And it's this idea that we are extraordinarily high functioning. I mean, most women are, it's unbelievable. Like, I'd always joke around, it's like, we can be on the phone. I'm like, yeah, can we have chicken for dinner? Hey, did you guys send that email? No, no, no. That goes over there on that shelf. Yeah, no, I'll be home at five. Like, we just do this, right? Yes. We're incredibly high functioning, but there's a rub there, right? And the rub is it works so well for the rest of society that we over function like this, right? Mm-hmm. that there's a codependent side and we get rewarded for it. I mean, how many times have you heard another woman say, oh, she's so selfless.
Sarah Walton (03:10):
Oh yeah. Like, that's a good thing that she has no self and we're, I'm sorry, this is a good thing. Yeah. It's like, what? And then there's, you know, there's this whole, oh, you're killing it, man. You look great. You're doing it. It's like she's miserable. Mm-hmm. . But we're taught that as long as everyone else around us is okay and they're happy, who gives what our feelings are or who cares what your feelings are, and it starts at this really young age of like, you know, you're crying or whatever, and someone goes, oh, don't cry. Where's my pretty girl? Where it's like, your feelings are making me uncomfortable. Yeah. Can you instead make me happy? And we learn that at a young age and it ends up showing up as, could you please do all the invisible work and not get paid? Thanks. And it's like, well, that's really nice for everyone else, but you guys, is this by design mm-hmm.
Sarah Walton (03:59):
that we get scared to charge. Right? And this whole conversation around money, if I may, I'm listening to the book. I don't know if you know who Jamie Kern Lima is? Mm-hmm. , write that down. She is the founder of IT cosmetics. She's just absolutely freaking delicious. Um, I've just recently been introduced to her. I wish I'd been introduced to her years ago. Cuz her story is like harrowing and fantastic and inspiring. Mm-hmm. . But basically, uh, she had really bad rosacea and so she created a makeup company to cover her own rosacea out of her own living room. Gosh. Quit her. My gosh. Has no dollars, right? Like $0, right? Um, has heard No, no, no. The c e o of QVC calls her and says, stop sending us your stuff. We will never put you on air. An investor is like on the last last meeting with her and he's like, I'm not investing with you.
Sarah Walton (04:46):
And she's like, why? He goes, you're fat and no one's gonna buy makeup from someone who looks like you. Oh you buddy. Like this woman heard no, like and mean no, not like no. Right. Like mean nos. She sold her company to L'Oreal for $1.2 billion. Right. I love that. I mean, talk about like dance all the way to the bank. Right? But the part of this story that goes to this conversation about us not charging cuz it was just five minutes, is after all of this, she's been on the Forbes richest women list for the last three or four years. And for years she wouldn't call it that one. Anytime she mentioned it. Like if she was a keynote speaker, whatever it was, uh, Forbes most successful women, she changed it. Mm-hmm. . And when Forbes first reached out to her and said, you know, this is what we're pretty sure your net worth is.
Sarah Walton (05:32):
Do you wanna comment on it? She's like, I'm not ever commenting on that. Don't talk about my money. Right. Totally freaks out. She's on the list with like Taylor Swift and Oprah, like, like Meg women. Right. She's up there and the editor of Forbes said, you know, this is so interesting. And it happens every time the men who are on the Forbes riches list call us back and say, Nope, it's not enough. You need to listen. They send us statements, they make sure we know exactly how much they have and they talk about it and they make us make sure the numbers are right. And every woman says, I'm not talking about this
Angie Colee (06:05):
Holy crap
Sarah Walton (06:06):
Every time. And I was like, what the heck is that? Is that not fascinating? Like, that is like, it's what, uh, like what a psychological experiment that is just to sit there and go, what? We don't talk about it. So I'm not charging you for my five minutes.
Angie Colee (06:24):
We don't talk about it. And it, it gets, I remember being frustrated when I was still in corporate at that kind of dichotomy between the need to your own best cheerleader, hype yourself up, share your experiences and your wins in order to get ahead. But also that deep discomfort being raised in socialized female with what I perceive to be bragging about myself. And I've had so many conversations with people over the years that are like, don't you realize you've done this and you've done this and you've done this. And the tendency was always to be like, and I did that with these resources and with this team support and in collaboration with these people and like always felt deeply uncomfortable taking part for or, or taking credit for even just my part of that piece. Right. Which is absolutely truthful. There's nothing bragging about it. That's just a fact. But that's so uncomfortable and so interesting. And I knew her name sounded familiar. I was like, I couldn't quite place it. But um, I have rosacea as well. And it cosmetics is the So here's a testimonial to you, Jamie. Oh. Wherever you are in the universe that I keep getting comments on my glowing skin lately when people see me on Zoom calls and I'm like, that's part excellent zoom filter and part this lovely tinted moisturizer that I wear from
Sarah Walton (07:36):
It. Cosmetics baby. Yes. She did it. I mean, yeah. It's so funny. She would talk about, she'd be on camera and like her makeup would start to crack under the heat of the lights. Mm-hmm. . And like her editor in her ear would be like, dude, there's something on your face. She's like, it's not something on my face. It's my rosacea . It was like, it's horrible. And she couldn't find it. So she fixed it herself. She fixed it her self. Yeah. She fixed it herself. And when she finally got on qvc, thank you very much for people who called her and said she'd never get on. Um, she did something else no one had ever done, which is she took her makeup off on live television to show her rosacea and then cover it Wow. With her makeup. And they sold out in seven minutes.
Sarah Walton (08:13):
Holy crap. Right. And they were, and they were like, do not do that. Do not show people. Don't tell the truth. Hide all your flaws. You're a woman. You're supposed to be perfect. Right? Like, that was the message. And I'm just so grateful for women like this who are out there going, no, these are my flaws. Yes. I am on the richest women's list. Um, and that we don't have to hide with this anymore. This is just insanity. And we've been like spoonfed it our entire lives. So there's no, like I always knew that the book Lean in always bothered me and I couldn't figure out why. Um, I mean God love her. I know it had incredible intentions and I know, but it always like had like this, like it left like a layer on me. I dunno. It was like, I, like I can't wash this off and I dunno what it is. And it was that I think very unintentionally she was making us wrong. Huh? For not knowing to lean in. And it's like, dude, we've been shoved out forever. Yes. So why the hell, how were we supposed to know how to lean in? And I, I think I finally figured that out. Like it took several years. I'm like, oh, that's what it was. There wasn't compassion there. Yeah. There wasn't the truth telling that needs to happen first, which is, listen, this is not your fault.
Angie Colee (09:23):
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Walton (09:23):
, I mean they have to freaking teach women in Harvard how to raise their hands. Like, you know, there's a class on that. I mean it's unbeliev like we've been told to shut up and be small, right? Mm-hmm. literally physically for all of our lives and be flawless and be perfect. And then they're like, well why aren't you leaning in? Yeah. And it's like,
Angie Colee (09:39):
Why aren't you standing up for yourself? Why aren't you fighting for what you believe in? Like, every time I do, I get told I'm being emotional, that I'm being rude, that I'm being bossy, that I'm being a. Yes. Um, and I'm like, somebody can literally say the exact same things in the exact same way that I did, but have a masculine voice and happen to have a penis. And he is like bold and assertive and confident and just the breath of fresh air we need around here was slightly resentful of having my ideas. Ideas. Unbelievable. He's stolen a couple of times, but you know mm-hmm. , you live and you learn to stand up for that. And you know, these days I go, oh, I'm so glad you're in agreement with that. If you remember I presented that a couple weeks ago. Cool, I'm excited.
Angie Colee (10:22):
Let's do this. Like I'm not letting people take credit for my work anymore. And I actually wanted to circle back to something that you said about like over-functioning. Cuz I had a recent experience with that too. We just got back from a live event my partner and I put on called E Play launch. And it was great in that like the content was there, the support staff was there, and there wasn't really anything for me to do on site except be present and support the people that came. And that was so deeply, weirdly uncomfortable for me to sit and like wait to see who needed help instead of just inventing a whole bunch of busy work so that I felt like I had earned my place. There's so bizarre that even when you get to that level where people are paying four figures to be in a room with you, I feel like I need to work. I need to work
Sarah Walton (11:09):
Well Sure. Because we've been told from a very young age that our values based on our productivity.
Angie Colee (11:15):
Yep.
Sarah Walton (11:15):
Right? Yeah. It's like, I mean, how I say this to women all the time, especially, uh, women who've grown people, I like to say those of us who grew people , um, that like if you have pe peop other people living in your home Yes. Who like produce laundry and things like this Right. Is I'll say to women, how many times are you folding laundry while the rest of the house is, is watching tv mm-hmm. . And what you're modeling when you do that is that your time doesn't matter. And there's does, and that is not accurate. You are living in a community where everyone pitches in and if one person is doing the dishes, someone else is drying. If someone's made dinner, someone else does the dishes. If you um, uh, produce dirty clothes, you are responsible for washing said dirty clothes. Right. And this idea.
Sarah Walton (11:55):
But that's where that came from. I mean, I really, really believe that Angie, that that's how that happened to the point, you can't even sit at an exquisite event and just enjoy, just receive. Right? Mm-hmm. because we are supposed to be constantly giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving. Yeah. Um, and that's by design. I really think it's by design. And that's why I'm saying, you know, back to back to this whole lean in thing is I think the first thing we have to do for each other is really say, Hey dude, come sit down with me for a second. Yeah. Like, let's talk about this. Like, it's okay. You don't have to be on 24 7, what's going on? And watch a woman's shoulders drop and have her go mm-hmm. . Oh my god, you know what happened yesterday. Right. And it's like we, we rarely give each other those outlets.
Sarah Walton (12:35):
And Angie, I really love what you're doing with this podcast and this whole idea of like, let's tell the truth. Like let's have these conversations cuz we need them so badly, it's so real and we can't slam. It's that whole lipstick on a pig thing. Right. We can't slam more productivity and more efficacy and more money on top of this high-functioning, over-functioning codependence here where it's this constant reward for not being happy. Mm-hmm. , it's a constant reward for driving yourself into the ground as long as everyone else is okay. And we really wanna help support each other in calling that out. Not never in a bad way, cuz we've all been trained to do it. Right? Yeah. So it's like, Hey, have you been, have you been over functioning? Yeah, I have. Oh boy. You know. Alright, cool. No problem. What do you need? Who can, what can you delegate? How can we support mm-hmm. , do you need a break? Um, and just being there for each other because once we start to get those breaks, we're actually replenished enough to make really brilliant decisions. Mm-hmm. , like really effective, gorgeous business decisions that grow wealth.
Angie Colee (13:36):
Yeah. Rest isn't something that you earn. Rest is something that you take. And that I feel like I've been having a conversation with people that I work with a lot lately about, like, I have not missed a vacation that I have planned for myself. Even if I didn't actually really go anywhere. I took that time off, I disconnected from work, I made sure to build the structure around it so that I could disconnect from work and not do anything about that. And if you are not taking your vacation and building the walls around that, I wanna know what we can do to change that. Because it is not a bad thing for me to take mine. And it's certainly not a bad thing for you to take yours. You need the rest. Especially if you are a creative person, creative service provider. It's, it's real interesting the past couple years I've been doing a lot of like personal coaching and self development, which I highly recommend for everybody that wants ongoing success. Mm-hmm. , uh, look, look inward for answers cuz you've got them. And I found out, I don't know if you've heard of Rhonda Britton, she's got this coaching program that's, uh, um, oh goodness, I can't Fearless, fearless Living is what she teaches.
Sarah Walton (14:38):
I haven't No, I haven't heard of it. Oh,
Angie Colee (14:40):
You might, look, she's got this fascinating story. I, I don't wanna go too deep into it, but basically she wa she witnessed a horrific hor like traumatizing event in her teens, um, murder suicide of her parents. Oh my God. And like went down a really bad path for many, many years out of this fear-based response and talked about how she learned to get herself out of it. And she calls it this like wheel of fear. And I think we've all felt that like you just spinning around and around and around on it getting more intense every, every revolution. Um, and then she created this thing called the Wheel of freedom, which I love. And everybody's got a different freedom wheel. But it's basically that trigger that when you catch yourself in that downward spiral, okay, what can I do to stop that and then get off of that and move over here to where I am being me and I'm being happy and fulfilled or I'm at least on my way there and on a wheel that's gonna spin me there.
Angie Colee (15:32):
And something that I found out about myself that I found surprising, but it's not, it's one of those things that's surprising, but not that surprising was, uh, my essential nature is creativity and joy and that like, I need this to be able to do my best work. And it's not something to feel guilty about that I'm trying to build a business where I'm having fun and bringing people like you onto a show and we're having a blast talking about stuff. This is actually me bringing my best to the world by operating in creativity and joy. And I don't have to feel guilty about that because I am not working like a dog to produce it. You know?
Sarah Walton (16:08):
Yes. Yeah. Somewhere along the line we got that tangled too. Right. Right. It can't be work unless you're miserable. What? Yeah. What, when did that happen? Yeah. Is I love that you're sharing this, Angie. I will say too, you know, uh, just to share 2022 was the most, um, I think personally challenging year I have ever had in my life. Oh no. Uh, my daughter was diagnosed with type one diabetes. She was struggling with severe anxiety. About six months after that, my son started dealing with anxiety. My husband and I got divorced. Um, my dad got diagnosed with Parkinson's. We have a Alzheimer's diagnosis and wow. Stage for kidney failure in the fa. I was like, what is, I was like, are you kidding me? Like every time the phone rang I was like, am I on candid camera? I mean, come on, this cannot be another call. And it was another call. Right? I, if
Angie Colee (16:56):
I don't answer the phone, nothing bad can happen. Right.
Sarah Walton (16:58):
Seriously. Right. I forgot I ended the year, uh, having to have melanoma surgery. Right. I was like, I literally was like, come on, you're a kidding. Right? Like the doctor called and said, no, it's melanoma. I was like, , of course it is. Sure. When do you wanna get the surgery? I was like, whatever. At this point I got it, right? Mm-hmm. . And in that year I tripled the business and people are like, how the frick I'm like, first of all, I, you know, I don't know. I mean, I know right? But it's not like I'm not gonna stand up here and say I have a secret sauce. But it's, um, I think it's really about this idea that we as humans are highly adaptable, right? Mm-hmm. . And that I love the wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom because I always talk about abundance, who I run an abundance academy and I always talk about abundance as freedom.
Sarah Walton (17:47):
Mm-hmm. every like 90% of women I've interviewed before I created the academy, it's always, I want more freedom. Yeah. And I'm like, Ugh, that's abundance. That's what that is. Cuz when you, you feel abundance, don't, are you not the most giving generous person? You're like free skipping through the forest. Right? You're like, right. That world. And I think honestly like when we're talking about this, I think that's what happened in 2022 for me, is I got unbelievably grounded in this idea that like, okay, life is going to continue to happen and I can make work so fun. Mm-hmm. . And I was very honest. I do, I do a show called Coffee with Coach, it's live streaming on YouTube. And I showed up just after I got this unbelievable call about my daughter and I'd been crying all morning and I just showed up without makeup on and I'm like, guys just had the worst week of my entire life.
Sarah Walton (18:35):
We're gonna do this and I'm gonna coach myself live. Right. I'm like, what the hell else are we gonna do? Like let's go. This is what life looks like when it's working. And I sat down and I I just walked through, you know what I do? I call it the triangle of like really understanding what's happening to us as humans mm-hmm. . And I love that you were just sharing like you, you find yourself in this downward spiral. Like there's uh, so many people out there offering so many freaking amazing tools to help you snap in that moment to go okay, what's real mm-hmm. , what can I affect and what do I need to process? And I think if we can sort of kind of do that with each other and for each other instead of feeling judged or judging ourselves. Exactly. And one of my favorite things I just said all through 2022 is like, what if absolutely everyone involved in every situation in my life right now is doing the very best they can.
Sarah Walton (19:25):
And I just kept saying that like every doctor, right. My kids are doing the best they can. My ex-husband's doing the very best he can. I am doing the best I can. Like we are going to make this the most extraordinary experience we can. And that sounds so similar to what you're doing with those wheels. And I think we all sort of have to find these ways to remember that we have control over the moment. Yes. That that's it. That's really the only thing we have control over. Right. But that, that is incredibly powerful and I think when we can tap into that, whether we've been taught to over function, whether we've been taught, our emotions don't matter whether we just got that bad call, like whatever happened, you know, I have a post-it note, which you can't see at the moment, but I have a post-it note on my computer and it says, who am I committed to being in the face of this? Ooh. And that post-it got me through 2022.
Angie Colee (20:18):
I freaking love that. There was so much to unpack there. I love
Sarah Walton (20:21):
This. Hit me sister Ask, ask away. Sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt that out. No, but it just felt like that perfect, that fear things real. Yeah,
Angie Colee (20:28):
Yeah. For sure. And one thing that came out of that for me was like, I wrote down that feelings are not facts. And that's one thing that has really gotten me through those anxiety spirals. Like, and it was triggered when you said, um, is this real mm-hmm . And I was like, a lot of the times when the feeling pops up or the thought pops up and triggers the feeling like those things are interconnected, but they're separate. Mm-hmm. and they often, I intensify each other. If you don't develop the skills to look at them and go ask myself, what am I feeling right now? Where am I feeling it in my body? Cuz usually like I can feel pain happening right behind my right shoulder blade before the thought even comes up. And I know I'm feeling some sort of anxiety, right? Mm-hmm. , um, feelings aren't facts. What am I feeling? What am I thinking? Is that true? Uh, is that something that I can change if it's not something I can change? Like that old adage herd to let it go, right? Mm-hmm. . Um, and then you said abundance, which is something that, so I grew up in South Texas. Uh, uh, uh, I'm not using much of my twang right now, but I can turn it on when I want to . Um,
Angie Colee (21:32):
And, and us uh, country folks were always thinking yoga and meditation and abundance and all that hippie dippy is what, what I used to call it growing up. I was very skeptical of it. And even now I still kind of feel like those old reactions to the word abundance. But one day it occurred to me, and I don't even know where this idea came up, money is made up.
Sarah Walton (21:52):
It's
Angie Colee (21:52):
Correct. It literally doesn't exist. We all collectively decided that this is a thing that's important to us and it is a series of ones and zeros at this point floating over our head. It's not even tied to like gold and real stuff anymore. You can make as much of it as you want to cuz it's made up.
Sarah Walton (22:07):
Correct. Correct. It's amazing.
Angie Colee (22:09):
Yes.
Sarah Walton (22:10):
Yes. No, I love that you said that
Angie Colee (22:12):
You can create as much as you want because it's not a real thing and we've just agreed that it is and feelings aren't facts. Facts. And oh my goodness. There was the, the other thoughts that just escaped. But maybe it'll come back to me and we'll circle back to it. ,
Sarah Walton (22:29):
Was it the thought about abundance?
Angie Colee (22:31):
Oh no, it was the thought about everybody doing the best that they can. Like Oh, okay. Those are life changing thoughts. Yes. Like, imagine how the energy of everything you're doing changes when you look at everybody around you. Even the person that just you off. Yeah. And think I bet they're doing their best right now.
Sarah Walton (22:50):
Oh, makes me wanna cry. Yeah. Angie, I totally like, I'm so moved by that mm-hmm. . Cause I think it's so true. You know, anytime we really start to find ourselves, you know, just react. It, it's like nobody wakes up and says, how many lives can I screw over today? Yeah. . And people don't wake up like that, you know? And listen, it doesn't, it doesn't make some behavior. Okay. I'm not excusing it. Yeah. But what we wanna really notice is like, I wonder what's happening for them that they think that's the best they can do. Mm-hmm. . Wow. Like what's happening here? And I, God, what a world this would be if we were able to approach each other that way. I mean, especially in business, especially around money. Mm-hmm. , you know, this, this morality we've attached to this thing we've made up.
Sarah Walton (23:32):
Right? Yeah. It's just breathtaking. Um, yeah. Can I tell you something happened with me and money Yeah. Just kind of really I whatever performing all my work, but, um, just when I was starting out and I had, you know, a half a penny and you know, some breadcrumbs to rubbed together when I was first coaching after quitting my nice cushy corporate job, um, I was a keynote speaker at a conference in the Poconos. And I'm doing, I'm, I'm like practicing my talk. I'm going around my little cabin and I'm practicing and practicing. You guys are all gonna think I'm crazy now. But I had this thought, I swear to God it was not my own, but it came in and I heard the phrase, money is love. And I was like, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm never saying that out loud.
Sarah Walton (24:16):
I was like, what the? Not the money is love lady. Right? And so I find it, I find it, I find it, and I keep practicing this talk and I keep hearing this thought and I'm like, what do you want from me? That is so dumb. Right? And then I remembered in my twenties, um, I worked at a tech startup and what we were doing was digitizing Maryanne Williamson's old lectures and all of her stuff. Um, and if you don't know who she is or she wrote, um, she, she wrote based on the Course in Miracles, you know, a Return, a Return to Love. And I spent a lot of time in the recording studio with her, a lot of time around her. And obviously some of it went in because her whole theory based on the Course in Miracles, which I haven't read, so I'm not gonna pretend I'm an expert, I'm not.
Sarah Walton (24:57):
But I know the crux of it is there's only two emotions. There's love and there's fear. Mm-hmm. and love's job is to stoke up fear so it comes to the surface so it can be healed and return back to love, which is why she named the book Return to Love. Interesting. So this idea, don't be afraid. Right? It when love really enters a situation, right? And we've seen this and we've seen this in political leaders, right? Who really wanna include and be generous, what ha we kill them, right? Like there's this thing like you inject love, all the fear comes up, okay? Mm-hmm. . So as I'm sitting there in the Poconos going, money is love what in the actual hell. Right? It's money is love money. And I was like, oh, money stokes fear. That's what that meant is money has that same love, like energy in that it will bring up everything you have not yet healed.
Sarah Walton (25:48):
Yes. And you're absolutely right Angie, right now, I mean, it's the most powerful tool we have access to today because of our agreement that it is. Yes. Right? It may very well be in the future. We decide it's bananas or paper, hearts, I have no idea. But right now we've all agreed it's money and it's incredibly powerful. Right? I would like to get paid in bananas. Wouldn't that be fun? Right? I'd like to do a banana split dive anyway. Right. So anyway, when we look at this, money's job is to come into our lives and help us heal. Ooh. And I think our direct capacity to make more, have more be wealthy, share more comes from our ability to heal mm-hmm. . And so I think as I looked back on 2020 right, talking about money, I think the reason the business tripled is because I, I was forced to consistently expand and show up for people in my life.
Sarah Walton (26:37):
People in my business show up for my clients, show up for myself. And the healing had to be almost instantaneous. Like I mm-hmm. , I had children waiting for me. Like this was not something I could be like, I'll get back to you next week. Yeah. Like, I had to constantly heal and grow, heal and grow, heal and grow, heal and grow. And that grew my capacity mm-hmm. for wealth and income. And I think that's directly related. So it's like, if people come to me and say, oh my God, I hate money, I'm so upset. I'm like, well, do you wanna heal that or you wanna keep that mm-hmm. . Cause I really think that's where the, the secret sauce is.
Angie Colee (27:10):
Yeah. And I find that like there's, it's so interesting to me how often like themes pop up in the discussions that are happening in my life, but the, the theme that seems to be recurring right now is I've made a joke that like my ultimate goal is to get rich. I come from a blue collar family. My parents were both truck drivers for the most of my life. And then my mom became a pastry chef. That's an interesting story. Oh, mom,
Sarah Walton (27:31):
Love
Angie Colee (27:32):
It. She has her own baking business now. It's great. Um, and I keep reminding myself that like, just because I have this goal that this financial target that I've set up for myself and this, you know, imagining of what my bank account balances will, will be like that that's not actually the ultimate goal. And my own coach helped remind me of this and he goes, so why are you working so hard to hit this goal? And I'm like, because I want to spend time with the people that I love and I want to be able to spoil them and share and show them the world and take them on adventures and share good food and like help them out if they need to. And he goes, is there any reason that you can't do that now without money? And I was like, oh, you bastard.
Sarah Walton (28:09):
Mm-hmm.
Angie Colee (28:09):
, I can totally do all that. I mean, minus the spending a ridiculous amount of money on them, but I can spend quality time with them. I can help them where I can, I can, I can take them on cheap and free adventures. You know, like there's no reason that I can't do that thing now that I'm telling myself I'm trying to earn the money to buy the right to do. Right? Mm-hmm. How messed up is that? Like we get ourselves all twisted up over money and it's ridiculous.
Sarah Walton (28:33):
Yeah, yeah. Well there's been, like I said, there's been morality tied to it, right? There's worthiness tied to it. Mm-hmm. It's all made up. That is all ridiculous. Um, and I love how you're approaching that and I think that's true. I think part of the game of becoming wealthy, um, for me is who you have to become in order to be that person. Right. That is the amount of healing. Mm-hmm. the amount of self-awareness, the amount of generosity. Yes. Um,
Angie Colee (28:59):
And not just generosity, but also receiving, which many of us suck at
Sarah Walton (29:04):
. It's like, try to be, try to be wealthy if you can't receive stuff that won't mm-hmm. work. Right? Yeah. And, and my my own coach said that to me once. She's like, you have a hard time receiving, don't you? And that was at the beginning of 2022. And you'll notice we work pretty hard on that. Mm-hmm. . Um, and, but it's part of the journey. And I, this is why I love entrepreneurship so much. It's why I love helping when you make more money because the money is freaking awesome. Right. And God help all of us. I hope we make the world a better place with it. I think we will. I think it's time for women to be in control of money. I think it's about time . Yeah. Drop bombs on other people's children. We'll drop food, water and medicine on other people's children. What a concept. Just saying. Anyway. But what I love about all of this and what's possible is who women are becoming mm-hmm. in order to do this. And that, to me, that's, that's the actual prize and the money's gorgeous. Let's use that for sure. Um, but the irreversible untakeable un tarnish beauty of this is who we are becoming. Absolutely. And that can never be, you can never lose that. Right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. .
Angie Colee (30:16):
Absolutely. I love that. I think that ties in perfectly to what you were talking about having to grow your capacity. Right. That I just thought that, that, that I pictured when you said that the cup that was getting bigger so that you could just fill up more, which means you can pour more. Right. You can give more. And like for anybody that might be, um, struggling with that identity of like, I'm a giver, generosity is who I am. I agree. I am totally like that gift giving is one of my love languages. I like, I love shopping the aisles and going, oh my God, this would be perfect for somebody. But I also like what helped me start to break down that wall between I'm a giver but I can't receive, especially as a southern woman, I don't even know from an bar. I got it.
Sarah Walton (30:58):
Yep.
Angie Colee (30:58):
Was was recognizing that, and this is another one of those things that came up with a conversation, a friend, I don't even remember. It just, it hit me like a download. You know, if I refuse this gift that somebody else is giving to me and they're aplo approaching it from the same place of gen generosity that I would in giving a gift, am I not robbing them of joy? Yeah. Because I'm refusing their generosity under some misguided, like I can do it myself. I don't need anything. Like my pride is impacting their ability to be generous and it's robbing me of the benefit of their generosity. And this is just bad all around. I don't like it.
Sarah Walton (31:36):
Mm-hmm. . Yep. Yep. That's exactly right. That's exactly, you stop the flow of abundance when you do that. Mm-hmm. , right? Because the flow of abundance needs both. Yes. It's gotta have both. And so if you chop that you are cutting off abundance period mm-hmm. , right. And once we start to understand that, it's like, oh, dang mm-hmm. , I don't wanna do that. Right. Yeah. And receiving is just, it's one of the most generous things we can do. Which seems so, it sounds so counterintuitive. Right. But it really is one of the most generous things we can do.
Angie Colee (32:05):
Absolutely. And oh, and if the thought occurred to me too, for folks that were like, Maryanne Williamson, what, why does that sound so familiar? , she has one of my favorite quotes. The the one about our greatest fears. Not that we are inadequate, it's that we're powerful beyond measure. I whipped that one out whenever I can and go No, no. Because I love that analogy of we've, we've got this kind of human conditioning of the resources are scarce and we're all fighting for a limited amount of it, which ties into this concept of abundance we've got going so beautifully. Mm-hmm. . But if you think about the, the beauty of what we offer the world and what we offer each other, and you think about it like a, a flame on a candle, the room gets brighter with every candle lit. Yes. And me lighting your candle does not actually make mine any less bright. Right. And vice versa. And yours could go out five times and I can light it five times and it's still going to be the same like amount of brightness on my end and added brightness when I light yours. So like, if we could just rethink about this, that like giving something to you doesn't diminish mine in any way. And in fact, the more we all give, the more we all get a little bit brighter. Yeah. Love it.
Sarah Walton (33:11):
Yeah. That's really, you know, there's a really great book if you wanna take that further, it's called The Soul of Money Yes. By Lynn Twist. And she talks about the three myths that we're born into and one is that more is better. Two is that there's not enough and three is Well that's just the way it is. Yeah. And that we're born into those three myths. It's such a great book. I think she wrote it, I wanna say the late eighties, early nineties. It holds, it holds well. Um, so if anybody listen to you or if you wanna grab it, I love that book. Um, such good stuff. But it's exactly what you just said. We've been taught that's not true. Mm-hmm. . Right. But it actually, it really is true. We can give and give and give and give and there's always more mm-hmm.
Sarah Walton (33:48):
, um, you know, that, I mean, you know, another one of my beliefs about money too is that it's infinite. And people look at me and go, what? But um, if you take a second right now and just look around the room, your own room, wherever you are, if you're in the car, if you're in the gym, wherever, look around. Like I can see my computer, my camera, my lights, I got my little, my little mug Right. , my microphone. Every single one of these things I've traded money for mm-hmm. . Right. Every single one. And, um, somebody created those. Yeah. They weren't there. Oh. And now they're there. Oh. And I paid money for them. And so you can actually realize at any moment you can create something and sell it. Yes. Infinitely, there's no shortage of ideas. Infinitely you can make money. Um, and I think we get, I think we get money and time confused. Everybody thinks they have all the time in the world. I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow. Um, and no time is actually the only thing that is finite. Yes. But money is infinite. You can always make money. Always, always, always. If you don't believe me, go make some cookies and sell 'em to your neighbors, like mm-hmm. Oh my God. Watch it happen. Like it's just infinite.
Angie Colee (34:53):
Yeah. I'm so glad that you said that because I'm a fan of telling, especially the, the earlier stage entrepreneurs who are still in bootstrap mode and operating under this belief that I've gotta do it myself because I can't afford mm-hmm. to pay somebody else to do it. And I often challenge them and say, well you're going to spend no matter how you slice it mm-hmm. , but you have to de you have to decide if spending money is more expensive or spending time is more expensive. Yes. I know what I can make in an hour. Mm-hmm. So if I spend an hour of my time and I assign a monetary value to it of like, let's just say 500 bucks, hour of my time, um, and I spend that doing something that a really, like I have an audio engineer and on the on the surface people who are like, oh man, I wanna produce a podcast, but that seems so expensive.
Angie Colee (35:39):
But for an hour of his time costs me around 50 bucks. Mm-hmm. . And he doesn't even take like a full hour. But I'm happy to pay that because I would be spending so much time and brain power trying to figure out stuff that he knows and can do super fast. Mm-hmm. . So could I do it? Yes. Technically I even took a course on how to like do some minor edits. Yeah. You know, cause every once in a while something slips through and I don't have enough time to reach out to him and be like, Hey, can you cut this out? I'll cut it out myself. But editing the overall episode goes to him because spending my time on that is not a smart in investment for me personally because that is better spent, that time is invested somewhere else. That is how that is going to return to me. And if I keep fixating on the cost versus the investment and how I'm spending my money where I choose to invest my time, then I think you miss the big picture altogether. Focus again, focusing on money.
Sarah Walton (36:29):
Well, absolutely. And and the other thing that I, I love to work on with people is you're actually robbing other people of doing what they love. Yes. So I am a big fan of finding tens. And what I mean by that is, you know, on a scale of one to 10, what do you absolutely love doing? Mm-hmm. . Right? And my video editors freaking love video . Yes. Like I can do it. It's not a 10, this is a 10 for me. Like I would rather spend my time on podcasts or working directly with clients or my students or whatever. Same. That's a 10. Right. But if we don't hire other people when they're doing their 10, we're actually robbing them of their experience. And I say to people, they're like, oh, but nobody's hired me yet, or I haven't sold anything yet. I'm like, good.
Sarah Walton (37:09):
But that's cuz you're not in the flow of this. Mm-hmm. , you are not gonna be your 10 because you're not helping other people be their 10. And it's like, oh. Oh. And invariably, once somebody hires, even if it's the tiniest hire, right. Graphic design, these people are freaking up amazing copywriters. People who like research SEO O like oh my gosh, there's so many amazing humans out there that like freaking Kick Ass at those things. Oh yes. And you're not giving them the opportunity to express it. And all of a sudden it's like, oh well that I get mm-hmm. and then, then we jump into the flow of this massive exchange of money on the planet. And now it can come into your world too, but if we blocked it off, if we try to hold it, it's a little bit kind of like, you know what happens in nature if water gets unnaturally trapped, right? Mm-hmm. Like you're holding onto your money, you've trapped it, it starts to get kind of stagnant and rotten.
Angie Colee (38:00):
Yeah. And its not such
Sarah Walton (38:01):
A, a good Yeah. It does kinda a visual know that feeling. We've all done it. Like I can't spend, I can't spend, we've all been there, we've all done it, it doesn't work. Mm-hmm. , it just doesn't work. And I'm not saying spend a whole bunch of money you don't have or go crazy and hire the most expensive person, but find someone who's a 10 ma'am. Yeah. Let them be a 10 in your business and then you get to go be a 10 in your business. It's just so powerful. And I'm scrappy too. I mean I'm scrappy. I edited my own podcast for the first heaven help us all 25 episodes. I'm sure you can hear the difference , you know, I edit my own video in a pinch. Same thing. Like if it's super fast or something, I just, just gotta throw up onto YouTube quickly. I'll do it fast. Exactly. But it's not my sauce man. You know, it's great to be scrappy, it's great to know how to do things. It's great not to be trapped of like, I need, oh sorry, shoot, I need to get this up but I can't. Right. That's not a fun feeling. Mm-hmm. . Um, you know, so you wanna keep yourself free that way. But again, that goes back to abundance in my mind to have the freedom to do what you need to do to feel really successful and full.
Angie Colee (38:59):
Oh yeah. And I love what you said about that because I think it solves one of the biggest fears of people that are kind of entering that stuck phase of business where like, hey, you figured some things out. You figured out your ideal client, you figured out your offer stack, you're bringing in the good money and where do you go from here because you can't take on anymore. And you know that to grow. If you want to grow, then you're probably gonna have to hire someone. But hiring someone is terrifying. So if you're looking for that 10 or if you're looking for someone to help you for right now, until you can get enough breathing room to figure out what a 10 even looks like, then great. And then keep that in mind that I wanna put people where they are in their best, highest, most excited energy doing work that they love problems that they're good at solving.
Angie Colee (39:44):
Like that happened to me with my most recent VA hire. Been working with her for about a year and a half now. And when I brought her on board I was like, I'm, I'm moving into live, I'm adding live events. So I want somebody that's kind of excited by event planning, I want someone that's excited by that kind of research that's needed with that who's super organized. Cuz that's a lot of details to manage and who and who can handle like the back and forth correspondence. Um, and that's what I'm really looking for. And this person would also be helping me with podcast production cuz that's a lot of back and forth too. So in the course of working together, she is fantastic at events. Mm-hmm. But she discovered and I was able to help facilitate that, which made me happy. They love for podcast, she loves this so much that she is thinking she wants to become a podcast producer and like take over all aspects of management of that.
Angie Colee (40:31):
So we had a talk not too long ago where I was like, okay, I hear this and yes, I mean I still need help on the VA side, but what I'm willing to do is to move most of the hours that we've decided are are yours over to the podcast. And I will get help from another source for this. And she's so happy to do that. And she comes up with all kinds of ideas that I wouldn't have had the time to think about because I'm busy doing other things. So like putting people in the area where they're good and they're excited. Is it just, it's an abundance multiplier.
Sarah Walton (41:01):
It is. Well it's like your flame analogy, right? Yeah. Like now everybody's flames lit, right. Because everybody's excited to be doing what they're doing and that's when businesses take off. Exactly. Because we're in the flow of generating tens . I mean like, what else are we gonna do? You guys are gonna sit around and worry, hell no, let's help each other be our tens. It's like, yes. So exciting. So exciting.
Angie Colee (41:20):
That was my favorite realization as a people manager. That, and that I think is when I really made the transition from being like me focused and like, look at me. I wanna shine cuz that was definitely me in my twenties. Look at all the reasons I wanna shine. And also I feel guilty about saying that because I'm a woman, um, . But as I, as I grew and I started to lead teams. Yeah. Like that dichotomy is always there. Um, I started to realize that being able to spot the talent to cultivate and nurture it, to surface their ideas, give them the courage to pitch it, help them mold it, polish it, make it shine and present it so that it gets bought off on that actually makes me look like a genius. Yeah. Cuz I found the really smart people who surface their genius ideas and I actually have to work a lot less hard instead of like managing their workload and managing mine, trying to have everything under my control and up to my standards. I get to let other people shine, work a little bit less hard, generate brilliant ideas I might not have come up with otherwise. And we all look smart as a result. Isn, I love the
Sarah Walton (42:20):
Strategy isn't great. That's great. Abundance of work right there, sister . Yeah. That's it. That's the sauce.
Angie Colee (42:27):
Oh man. So many good things. So many good things. I'm like looking over my notes here going, I don't even know where to dig into the rest of this.
Sarah Walton (42:38):
So many fun things. It's true. I love conversations like this. I mean, I just think I wish more people would kind of open the kimono this way and just talk about it. Like, you know, it's so easy, uh, given the environment we were all born into to just despair. Right. To just get to that point of like, I'm never gonna make it, it's never gonna work. Um, you know, and what I, the other thing I hope people understand or maybe they take away from today is that, uh, you know, as your business grows, as you get more successful, um, problems don't go away. They just change. Yes. And I think, you know, I I always say this with like universe, I'm not asking, but what 2022 taught me is I really could handle anything mm-hmm. . Um, and that I knew that. Right. I, i it's not, my life has not been a cake walk.
Sarah Walton (43:23):
Right. But I knew that I could handle anything and that year took it to a different level. Right? Yeah. The amount of things that needed my attention, the, the dramatically it wasn't like, oh, I can look at that. So it's like every single thing was highly important and highly urgent. Um, is is as these problems change, right. As you as a human change, as you expand to be able to take on more. I think the other thing that increases is our confidence. Mm-hmm. . And I love how Brennan Bouchard defines confidence as just your faith in yourself to figure it out. Um, and that's all. It's isn't that a great definition? Mm-hmm. , I know, I remember the first time I heard him say that I was like, oh, that's, there we, that's a nugget of truth right there. Um, but I just love that, that concept and I think, you know, as you grow your business, as you find your tens, as you heal your relationship to money, as you expand your capacity for abundance, you will still have problems. And I think it's important to say that out loud because people think something's wrong. Mm-hmm. if they're like, but I'm successful now. Isn't life supposed to be perfect? And
Angie Colee (44:26):
The finish line into Funtime happy land? Yes,
Sarah Walton (44:28):
Sure. I hit my six figures or whatever, somebody's, I hit my seven figures. Whatever somebody's goal is, that's an esoteric goal out there. But what's happening for you as a person, all the skills you're building along this, what along the way as you do this, they will all serve you mm-hmm. , but you need to have people by your side who know is stuff's still gonna happen and that that's okay. That's normal. Yes. You know, stuff's happening because you're still alive. The only time you don't have problems is when you're dead. So Yes. You know, like, it's okay. There's gonna be problems, there's gonna be ups and downs and I think just to expect that and know that, so you're not surprised when it happens and you don't think you've done something wrong.
Angie Colee (45:05):
Exactly. It's so funny that you bring that up, that quote by Brendan Burchard because it was kind of my introduction to meditation and I told you I had, I had such a just mental block around it and such a skepticism for so long that, um, in LA when I was facing homelessness is like over a decade ago. And I was waking up with those middle of the night anxiety spirals. I'm sure you and everybody that's listening to this. Yes. Like you wake up out of a dead sleep with fully formed thoughts and they're already going a million miles an hour. Yes. Um, that happened to me. And some, like, the inspiration came to me one day to just keep breathing deep and chanting, I would say peace, strength, faith in myself. And I would just keep doing that and breathing deep until I fell asleep. And did that solve any problem? Oh, I love that. No, but that let me get enough rest so that I could actually bring my best to solving a problem, which I thought was great. Um, and so important here I'm gonna throw a random, uh, curve ball at you. So how is 2020
Sarah Walton (46:04):
amazing. ? Ok.
Angie Colee (46:06):
Good. Ok, good. That's what I wanted
Sarah Walton (46:08):
To know. Well, I'll say lemme Yeah, you're right. I should have said that. Like, guys, I'm great. Everything's okay. . Um, yeah, it, uh, it, it just, it has been, it was such a powerful experience. It really was, you know, baptism by fire, whatever you wanna call it? I don't even know. Uh, but to come out the other side, knowing when I could do all of that, I could get through all of that and deal with it. I didn't run from it. I didn't hide, I didn't pretend it wasn't happening. Like really facing these things and telling the truth about how hard it was in moments. Obviously there's a lot of privacy things I can't come out and be like, well, today. Right? Yeah. It doesn't work like that. There's dignity, there's caring for other people. There's all of those things. But, um, what has happened so far this year is my confidence is so much higher.
Sarah Walton (46:51):
Um, there's just a deep knowing mm-hmm. , that I don't think I've ever had. Um, and I'm loving teaching this right now. Like, I know I'm here to put more money in the hands of more women. Like I can say that now with, with such confidence and such clarity. Like, you have money problems, let's go. Like, bring them to me and with love and compassion and joy, we're gonna dance right through them and get you through to the other side. Wow. And I don't think, even though I'd been doing it for years, there's a deeper level, a deeper sense of knowing. And 2023 has been a freaking party.
Angie Colee (47:31):
Yes. Started,
Sarah Walton (47:32):
Started on December 31st when my doctor called and said, you've got clean margins, we got it all. I was like, great. Woo. I'm partying starting right now. And it has been just glorious ever since then. Yeah. It's been a wonderful, wonderful year so far.
Angie Colee (47:43):
Oh man. I can't think of a better note to end it on. This has been, I think, I think we're gonna have to do a part two at some point a little bit later this year. Check in anytime,
Sarah Walton (47:52):
Andy.
Angie Colee (47:52):
Um, for now, tell us how these women can find you and can work with you on this abundance your site. Tell us all of it.
Sarah Walton (47:59):
You got it, sister. So you guys, I love hanging out on YouTube. I just hang out. I love it. Um, I do have a show there where heaven help us all. It's called Sarah Uncut. I turn on my phone once a week and we don't know what I'm gonna say, but it's lots of fun. . Those are the best. I'm so good. Um, I also have my own podcast as well. It's called The Game On Girlfriend Podcast, because this is not your practice life. The game is on. Um, and then I have the Abundance Academy is my absolute favorite way to work with people. It's a year long program because I think it takes a full year to heal. Mm-hmm. all of our beliefs, right. To heal practice daily. It's not a course like an online course at all. It is an expansive experience. And the women who go through it, we have one client, she's been in there for four months. She's already made it a hundred thousand dollars extra.
Angie Colee (48:44):
Nice. I was like,
Sarah Walton (48:45):
What is happening in here? Like, it's just one of those, it's, it's, I hit Myra, it's my 10, right? Mm-hmm. . And so I love the Abundance Academy is absolutely my favorite. We have several more who are now on their 15 K months, which I'm so excited about. It's just delicious. Um, and then once a year, I also run, um, the Sales Mastermind where we go for six months and we do a deep dive into sales, um, and how our relationship to sales, like how do we understand our high functioning codependence and how do we break through that to understand the value as you so beautifully said, Angie. Yep. Um, and then I have, um, every year I take on a handful of clients. And so, you know, people can always ask about that as well.
Angie Colee (49:22):
Excellent. I hope that everybody listening will take this, take this resource that has been given to you and run with it as far and as fast as you can, uh, because it's, it's all up to you how you proceed. Um, and I, I don't ever like to, to stop remembering that we have choices every minute for better or for worse, about how we show up and how we continue. So keep on keeping on people and thank you so much for being on the show, Sarah. This was a blast.
Sarah Walton (49:48):
Oh, Angie, thank you so much for having me.
Angie Colee (49:52):
That's all for now. If you wanna keep that Kick Ass, Kick Ass energy high, please take a minute to share this episode with someone that might need a high octane dose. If you could do it, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the permission to Kick Ass podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and wherever you stream your podcast. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and I'm here rooting for you. Thanks for listening and let's go Kick Ass some.