¶ Accountability and Self-Help in Spirituality
So thank you all . That was such a great episode I can't even call it an episode . I was like that was a great class and insightful learning and I had a lot of things I've taken away from it and I wish I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours . But , monica , again , welcome back Our episode one .
We talked about just trying to understand spirituality and how do we get to it , to even begin to do it in the work of getting clarity on what our spirit is showing us , telling us , and what's showing up in our lives . So we kind of left it at the end of just grazing the surface but saying I bought up . The point too , I wonder , is unconsciously .
I think people struggle with accountability . I think it's easy , you know , because you know . It was often said . I remember growing up in a church . People would often say you know , I'm waiting on God , I'm waiting on God , I'm waiting on Jesus . Like , what are you waiting on ?
You know , right , I was , like you know , about being accountable for , having accountability for who we are and how we show up in a world and making it actionable , even down to understanding our health and taking that in in our bodies . So from that , you were saying that you had a lot to say on accountability piece or the self-help journal .
Yes , because you have to be accountable towards yourself , and the problem with our society is we're so used to putting everything outside of ourselves , and I feel very , very strongly towards recognizing the divinity within yourself , recognizing your own ability to manifest your reality . And yes , we have universal forces , but guess what ?
We are that universal force as well . We are not separate , we are the same , and that energy flows through us , just like it flows through other people , and it flows through everything , and that is that all-encompassing , omnipresent energy . But it is within us , it's not outside of us , it's everything .
And so when we start to recognize and really understand that , then we have to take accountability for our lives . It's really easy to put it outside and say , well , god didn't do that for me , god didn't do that for me . And then when something and here's the problem you can put the blame outside of yourself , but you also put the winds outside of yourself .
Oh , look at God , that just happened . Look at God . Okay , you can say that , but also look at you , look what you did . You took actions for that , and a lot of people forget to praise themselves .
So let's because so early in the first podcast we talked about you and your success journey from a corporate standpoint , and even that that's accountability . You came in and was like you know , I started here and then you were driven in each step of the way . You're accountable for the next level of your success .
You took charge and you went from this to that and then , when it came down to health , you took accountability and an agency over your own body and say , okay , not that you didn't trust the doctors , but let me have agency .
I'm saying all that to say to people who struggle to grasp any of this conversation , because sometimes when you start talking spirituality or healing , you lose people . But what I to the greater good I want to say it's all about accountability to thyself and agency over self , and that's in everything we do and how we show up . I think we are .
Our first accountability partner is us , our own individual checking it Exactly . Exactly .
And if you're not taking the actions and that's one of the things when it comes to any kind of manifestation or law of attraction or or prayer , or whatever it is that you do to put energy out there to try to create your reality you also have to take actions . You can do whatever you do , you can pray for a man , but guess what ?
If you're not going outside , he's probably not going to come knocking on your door . There's actions . There's actions you still have to take , and that part is the accountability . Now , once you've done everything that you can do , then you have to let it go , and just let it go to faith in terms of what's going to happen .
But a lot of people put the faith before the action .
But you know , monica , some people will say this too . So with you , you know , here you are a woman of color in corporate America .
So we already know the studies , the statistics about how much you know less you're going to make it , how hard are your path is going to be , but you still continue and persevere on , even though some of the odds were against you . And then you did the same thing .
You know for your spiritual self and some would say , well , you just have that jump gene and I don't have that . You know , you just have that gene where you know you can go for it and you're a free spirit and that's why you're so successful at everything you do , as opposed to being accountable and say , well , we all have it , exactly .
There's , first of all , we're all even . We're all equal . Some of us have certain gifts . Some people can play basketball really well and some people cannot , but they but guess what ? Everyone has the ability to learn . Everyone has the ability to be wherever they want to be if it's important enough to them .
And if your , if your gifts and your skills and your dreams are important enough to you , then you need to look into what , what skills and characteristics about yourself you need to acquire in order to become the person who can achieve these things . Because my life wasn't easy . I didn't have everything handed to me at all . There's no gene for that .
I just went after . I just went after my goals and some of it just happened , and I believe that was because that's that was already written , that was supposed to happen .
But there are a lot of things that I had to really pull up my sleeves and work towards , and if you , if you don't do that , then a lot of times you're not going to get where you want to go .
Right and I think it's important . I remember I was reading this a couple of months ago and about giftings , and this writer was saying how he wanted to be like the next Michael Jordan and he stayed up and I laced my shoes like him , I ran like him , I did the same dedication , but that wasn't what he was gifted at .
He had that desire , he had that will , but he didn't have the athleticism . But he goes . But then what I realized I was so passionate about this that I was sitting on a bench and seeing things that other people couldn't see .
So he realized his gifting was not in being the athlete , it was being the coach and sitting on the side and observing , but because he kept himself accountable and kept going after he got clarity and I think that's important .
You know , a lot of times people think we want to be gifted in certain areas and so we think , because we have the desire , that's our gifting and I know that accountability to say , well , when you're in these environments and when you're going after these things , what is again the spiritual check in ?
What are you realizing that you , he realized that he had an eye from that advantage , which is not on the court but on the sideline to see what others couldn't see .
So yeah , and to that I also want to make the point of . Sometimes people feel like , okay , I went in this direction and it didn't work out , and they feel like , okay , that was a failure . And I reject that , because a lot of times you will be on a path and you are guided towards it . You're like , well , I listened to my intuition .
It told me to go down this path and ended up not working out . It didn't have the outcome you desired , but that didn't mean it didn't work out , because you gained something when you went on that path . Your spirit was leading you in the right direction .
It's just you and your mind have an idea of where you thought that direction should go and that's not how it works .
I think Oprah gave the perfect example that I heard her in an interview and she was talking about Beloved because she was saying how it really took the wind out of herself because it got really trashed .
And when she was like , I had such great attentions and I wanted to tell this story and people didn't get it and it didn't do well , I lost a lot of money and so I forgot . I think it was Deep Park's show where someone there she was talking to he was like well , what did you want to accomplish ? She was like well , I want to . And she said that .
And she said what she wanted to accomplish . She goes . So what makes you think you didn't accomplish that ? What makes you think were you going for box office success or that ? Is that all she was like no , I wanted to engage and I wanted people .
So what makes you think that the however many people that saw it $500,000 million , whatever it was wasn't engaged didn't feel ? What makes you think that you didn't accomplish ? Because you didn't get the results that you thought you should get from . And I think that's a lot of why we quit in the middle of the race .
Sometimes we give them so quick because we're not getting the results . So we want to see we're not just like even with this podcast I started and I was just crying to feel like I don't know what to do . But sometimes it was like I have to check in and say , trisha , what were you trying to accomplish ?
Did you go in here to be , or did you go in to have a message and a voice and have voices be heard that tip back Right .
Yeah , so as long as you stay there and stay on a course and you realize you're not a failure , you are accomplishing what it is and things will manifest the way it was meant to be , as long as you don't stay off veer the course .
Right , right , I believe everything is exactly as it should be . Everything is always perfectly imperfect , and sometimes it's perfectly perfect . Perfectly imperfect , yeah , but there should be no regrets of anything that happens .
And I don't even use the word failure when it relates to anything , because , yes , I've had some disappointments of things that didn't work out the way I wanted them to work out , but then , in hindsight , when you look back , you see why it had to happen that way .
We had it , and sometimes it was just yeah , I didn't mean to cut you off , because we had a podcast some months ago about the same thing and Toby and I I don't even say the word debate anymore . I say perch because to me when I say debate , it's I'm intentionally taking a position and not being open to seeing something a different way .
So I don't debate anymore , I perch . But I was perching with him because he was saying about his son fail and I was like no , your son lost , he lost the game . There are winners and losers in a game . In a sport , somebody wins by the score . And I was like but in life I don't believe in failure , I'm just like you .
But in the same token , when we talked about divorce you know he talks about well , this was a failed marriage and that was failed and this was failed I was like well , why was it a failure ? I was like was that your intention ? What was your intention when you got married ? So I was like did you not accomplish those things ?
You accomplished them in that season and that season end . And I think that . So I'm with you with the way we look at failure .
¶ Detaching From Outcomes and Embracing Authenticity
Yeah , everything is a season and when you this is just part of spiritual growth , and it doesn't matter what kind of religion you are , but this is just part of spiritual growth is learning to detach from outcomes because it's the attachment to the outcomes that creates our suffering .
Is that attack ? I need to write that one down because that's true . It's the attachment to the outcome that creates our suffering .
Yeah . So when we start to just be in flow and stop focusing on the outcome , and every time I have a client that's like I just started , or are you going to friend ? I just started this relationship , how is it going to work out ?
I said I'm not going to tell you that because you know I'm psychic , so I think people call me all the time asking me questions . I'm like I'm just going to look into it and make sure that this is a safe person , but I'm not going to tell you how it worked , how it's going to work out , because it doesn't matter how it works out .
What you get out of the relationship , it's the experience that matters . You're in it for an experience . Life is just a series of experiences , that's all it is . And when you start to look at it as an experience versus as something that needs to end in this particular way , then it shifts everything .
This is totally off topic , but I have to bring it up because it just popped in my head . When you said I'm psychic , I immediately started to clear my mind .
I know that's ridiculous . I know that's ridiculous . I get that all the time .
But I was going to say you got to get that all the time . But people are like nope , she's not going to know what I'm thinking , nope .
Yeah , well , you know what it is . So because I'm , like , extremely gifted in so many different areas and psychic is one of them , so , literally , if I'm standing next to someone and they're cheating on their wife , I will know about it , oh Lord . So what I do is yeah .
You don't get invited to the company picnic , some things much they keep you .
But what I do is I don't need to know all that information . So when I'm out in public and like crowds or parties or something like that , I will turn my gifts down because I've mastered them , so I have full control over them .
So I turn my gifts down not off , but just down so that this way , if anything does pop through , it's only important things like something I actually need to know . So this way I can actually interact with people on a normal basis and not be all up in their business , because I will find out everything .
I used to have this hairstyle that I would go to and this is before . I used to turn it down all the time . Every time she would go to do my hair , I would get all kinds of information , all the personal stuff that's happening in her life . Next thing , you know , I'm seeing her the whole time . I'm like you're still with him , aren't you ?
Because I see what's going on . Oh my Lord . Yes .
It's funny you said that about turning and I never thought about it that way , as if that kind of gift you can turn down . The reason why that stuck with me ? Because years and years ago I was in a room and it was a networking room with a bunch of women , a lot of them , majority of them , I did not know .
And this lady and I never forget her she , I knew a little of her story . She was going through cancer and she was over in the corner and she was always kind of quiet and she said can I ask you a question ? And I said sure , did not know , I should have prepared myself with the question she was going to ask me . She goes why do you do that ?
And I said what do I do what ? Because I hadn't done anything . And she was like turn down your light . And when she asked me that I looked at her strange at first and then I started sobbing like instantly because my spirit hit and I was like you know , I I told her I have to think about it .
I said I don't know , but I knew what I immediately she said in that statement said something . One , to turn a light on in me . Two , I didn't recognize that I was doing it . But three , I understood what she was saying .
Like coming into a room and trying to fit in , you know , trying not to be this big , happy bubbly , hey , and being told like I told like sucking up the energy . Are you looking for attention ? I've had it all said to me when I only just entered a room . I've been told you like attention and I don't .
It's just that I am high energy and so when she said that , I didn't even realize that I had started to try not to be so noticeable , which meaning turning down my energy and you like , yeah , I was like I don't know , but I'm so glad she called that out of me and I was like , yeah , and you changed it right , absolutely Okay good and I'm like never dim
your light .
Yeah , I walk into a room and I own a room and I don't care what anybody thinks about it , because I am bubbly and I am very expressive and happy and a bright light . So when I do walk in a room it is noticed . But I don't usually get many people saying anything like that to me , but I used to .
The funny thing is I used to actually be very shy when I was younger , so the moniker that you see today is nowhere near what I used to be growing up . Maybe it's a Murgo thing same here .
Yeah , I've gone on a whole journey to the point where I can't really tell , to the point where I can just fully be my authentic self , no matter where I am , and boldly myself .
But I think too , one thing I knew for sure for me I was never . I was never a shy kid , but I was like I wanted to be in a room and not in a room . At the same time I just wanted to be a sponge , and so I could grow up in a time where kids should be seen and not heard . So I was no equisitive , I'll say so . I just wanted to be there .
So I kind of mastered how to be in a room and not be in a room . But when I got older I realized what it was , my spirit , still to this day , and I get in good trouble I'm gonna call it good trouble . My spirit won't allow me just to sit , even in corporate spaces , and be silent , and that's a good thing and a bad thing at times .
But I was like no , I can't . That's the one you're not silent about . Right , I was like yeah , I don't . And then , but because you are who you are , because you are Monica and because I'm a Tricia , you are called on , even when you know it's not with good intentions . Like so what do you think about that ?
You know , because sometimes they just want that combat or that energy , like well , I know I'm religious and Monica , what do you think about just that thing ? Yeah , so it's interesting .
Yeah , I dispel all of that energy . And I'm just . You know , with your energy field you can diffuse energy like that really easily . Someone may toss you a ball with negative intent and you turn that ball into you know , beautiful prosperity ball .
So how would you suggest ? Because I work in a Ben corporate America and I have I've really tried especially , I can honestly say , the last five years to help women specifically turn up their light .
¶ Empowering Women's Self-Confidence and Healing Trauma
And I notice and I want to get your feedback on this I notice that I get a lot of pushback because they think , oh , you're just , you know , being kind or you're just being , you know , a good friend or whatever it is . And so when I speak life and I'm being honest , I'm like I wouldn't say it if I didn't see it in you .
I don't say it , and it's so hard for women to see their strength and their power Right , and how do you , with your spiritual gifts , help them turn up their light ?
Literally one of the gifts that I have is turning on people's light , so I can literally do that in two seconds . Such for someone In two seconds . Okay , in seconds , so just tap in and turn it up . Also , the ability to increase people's self-confidence all through energy work Very quickly .
People notice a difference that like within minutes removing the things that are .
You know , the thing is when people are afraid of turning up their light , a lot of times there's multiple things going on , but a lot of times it is rooted in a lack of self-confidence , and so you have to find what that , because self-confidence is the root , but it's not the real root . What's created that self-confidence ?
That's the root and what created that lack of self-confidence ? That's the actual root and that's gonna be some kind of trauma from childhood or early childhood that they still hadn't healed from .
So I can then go in and use my healing ability Again , because I have healed my had to heal myself and I've healed thousands of thousands of people since then I can heal the results are like instant at this point .
So when I go in and discover what that is because with my psychic ability I can go inside of someone and literally see the energies that they're holding onto the people that are involved , what happened and I explain all this to my clients and they're like oh my God , I can't believe you picked up on that .
I haven't told anyone that story when I was four years old . Blah , blah , blah .
And I'll say this is the root of all your problems , because usually it's one thing that happened when someone was a child that then becomes the platform and the foundation that everything else is built on , and so there's usually one thing that becomes the catalyst to all of their other problems , and when you remove that one thing , then the other problems start to
slowly fix themselves , and then you can also go in and actually counteract that by infusing people with more confidence . I also use hypnosis to help people increase their confidence , especially women in the workplace , because we already know especially a woman of color in the workplace , we already know there are so many microaggressions . There are so many things .
No , no , they're not .
That's a myth .
There's so many things that and that's not everyone's experience .
There are things that you have to deal with and you're like , oh my God , this person's irking me , driving me crazy , and so teaching them also how to create energetic boundaries , because we have I mean , there's so much control that we have over our energy and what goes on around us and we don't even realize that because , again , these things are not taught .
But that's why I also teach them in my university , but teaching women how to and men too how to create energetic boundaries that will diffuse negative energy .
So , if someone's in a room I'm signing up for that class because if I could diffuse some of the nonsense and the shenanigans that yeah .
And it's fast when you do it , when you do it like I have . Whenever I teach people and they do something for the first time , they're always surprised at how easy it is , because I break things down to be very , very . It doesn't have .
You know , a lot of these , a lot of people , and this is one of the reasons why people have these perceptions of , oh my God , this is some kind of weird stuff going on , or woo , woo and all this other stuff . But the reality is not . None of this stuff has to be shrouded in mystery .
None of this stuff has to be like oh my God , only these people have this power , only these people have this power .
We all have superpowers . Well , monica , I can say I'm really envious , but for me to be around women and speaking to women and empowering women and not being able to turn to light , you say , girl , give me two seconds . I got it and I'm like , what kind of ? And I'm like , I'm just like girl . I'm like you are clean , you are powerful . You are sorry too .
I mean not just for the sake of being hyperbolic , literally looking at giftings and calling out . I'm like when you did this , this is not normal . You are bumming beyond , like . I mean being really detailed and specific and they think oh , you're just so sweet , you're such a friend .
I'm like no , I'm not trying to be a friend , I am speaking truth to power and I'm trying to do whatever I can to get you to see yourself in a light that you truly are , and not in this light of , in this darkness . I need to see yourself in a light .
False vision of themselves that they get . So here's a problem , though , with speaking to people , because you're conscious mind and this is one of the reasons why I became a hypnotist is because I can tell you you're beautiful all day . I can tell you you're amazing all day .
Your conscious mind has a filter and it'll be like nope , nope , I don't wanna believe it . Nope , nope , it'll make up all these excuses . You're just saying that because you're being nice . Oh , you have to say that You're my husband , or ? you have to you know , like there's all these reasons why we can tell ourselves no , this is not true .
But if I have you under hypnosis and I tell you you're beautiful , I tell you you're strong , I tell you you're confident , I tell you that nothing can stop you , you're gonna come out of that hypnotist like with a capon .
Because because your subconscious mind doesn't have the filter that your conscious mind does Whatever you put into it , it accepts it and then it actually acts that out in your life .
And specifically when it comes down to women , because the study and the research shows , even in a corporate setting , when you give a woman credit in a corporate setting , she finds a way , nine times out of 10 , to turn around and compliment her male counterpart . It was like oh you know , monica , you were awesome , that project you did . It was phenomenal .
Well , you know what you don't feel you know , was over there behind the scenes working a camera , so it's like natural . So , with that being said , though , it is because I appreciate the fact that you do work for everyone , but specifically for women .
It's something about us that we , even when , like you said , not in words , even in deeds when you show that they're actions and you try to give them a flowers and shine the light on them , that they feel the immediate need to turn around and give that to a man .
So , saying that , and you're doing the work and you're pulling back those layers and those bills , to me it makes sense why you have to go to that level to get them to connect , because , talking , they're just gonna turn around and give the credit to .
Yeah , and it's because of people feel and this is very common , especially with women very uncomfortable receiving compliments , and but the root of that is their lack of self-worth within themselves . So because if you don't have a lack of self-worth , there's no reason why you should feel uncomfortable receiving a compliment .
You're uncomfortable receiving a compliment because a part of your conscious mind is saying no , that's not me .
Oh , let me push that off to the side , because I don't really deserve that type of accolade , or I don't believe that that accolade belongs to me , because I don't wanna acknowledge my own gifts , I don't wanna acknowledge my own greatness , and that's a deeper issue . And hypnosis just works brilliantly and quickly .
That's the beauty of it is it works so quickly it's literally a brain hack .
It works so quickly . It's amazing . And , monica , we are coming to the end and before we wrap up , I want you to make sure you get out all of . Where can people find you and meet you ? What's your preferred method ? But before I get that , I want to end on this note it's something you just stated , my uncle .
When it comes down to receiving positive information or receiving praise , my uncle , I can change my life , because that was me . I was taught and raised that you're just to be a good person , to be a good Christian , that I just had to give , give , give , give . But the lesson that he taught me and he goes Trisha , you have to be a good receiver .
It's a blessing to be a great receiver . So , in a simplest form , if we can just take that , it'd be a grateful , a great receiver and a gracious receiver . And so , once I got that lesson , I can take compliments .
I can take any , because I have to , because people are trying to bless you with gifts , even if they give it's praise , even if they give it's saying how beautiful you are or whatever it is that they want that they are trying to give you . And we need to learn how to graciously receive , because then you're blocking someone else's blessing in their process too .
So it's something that simple is learn the gratitude and the graciousness behind being a good receiver , and that's a positivity as well .
Yes , and one thing I just want to add to that is I tell people to keep a gratitude journal , and it's not just about I'm grateful that the sun came out today , I'm grateful that the moon is out , because those are not really things that we can actually attach ourselves to , to be like okay , yes , this is really a reason to be grateful today .
It is a reason , but it's not something that the average human being can just like .
Yes , so what I tell people to do with their gratitude journal is write down things that you yourself have accomplished through life , things that you small it could be big or small things that you didn't think that you were going to get through a situation at work , that you didn't know how you were going to meet this deadline , you didn't know how you were going
to get past this problem with whatever's happening in your marriage or your with your children or whatever , but you conquered and you persevered . Those are things that should go into your gratitude journal , and then , every day , you should flip back in the book and read one of those entries to remind yourself of your power .
Absolutely , and I will also say this too , and receive it . Let go of the why , because a lot of times , as women , we're gonna well . Why did you say that ? You know ? Why did you compliment me ? Why am I beautiful ? And I didn't even you know , I didn't even do my hair today . I didn't even just let go of the why .
You're receiving compliments or gifts that show our interest , with the spirit of God . Thank you , I appreciate that . That's it . Just receive , be a gracious receiver . And again , monica , thank you again . And so I want to make sure that people reach you , connect with you .
I need to get with you on a personal level because there's some things we need to talk about that came up for me .
Okay .
But so how should we , how can we get in contact with you ?
So right now , as far as one-on-one services , I have a long waiting list , but you can go to Monica Bay . Thank you , you're both busy so you can go to Monica Baycom Bay is spelled B-E-Y , so Monica Baycom If you want to work with me one-on-one and get on my actual waiting list , or you cannot wait and go to mysticuniversitynet and get the all access pass .
Mystic University is where I teach people all of these things . I teach metaphysics , I teach spiritual evolution , spiritual growth , personal growth , business growth , everything , because I have a whole , I have a whole bunch of skills and I love to and tons of knowledge in here and I love to give that to people . I teach people how to heal themselves .
I teach people how to work with their energy . I teach people and empower people on how to set boundaries energetic and verbal boundaries and all of those things .
Basically , my goal is to get people more tuned into themselves spiritually , empower them to direct and be in the driver's seat of their life , but also to tap into their power , discover their spiritual gifts and really be the person that they're meant to be in this world and to live a better life .
Because , like I said , duality we are spiritual beings but we can't be all up in the clouds all the time . We have real lives to live . We have real bills to pay . We have real children to raise .
So , yeah , and so it's about being spiritual , but also being physical and allowing those two to coexist in great balance , though , and so that's what it's all about . So that's at mysticuniversitynet . If you join the all access pass , I have over 30 on-demand courses , plus I do an extra four or five online new live online classes every month .
We have a healing circle every month , where I go and I heal everybody in mass , and again , it doesn't take me long . Everybody can feel it . It's also a beautiful community , a beautiful community of supportive and like-minded people , and literally , they do support each other .
I also have a I'm going to , I'm going to everything , but I also have a monthly intuition ignition circle , and the point of that is to help people practice trusting their intuition , practice using their intuition in different ways . It's a muscle that needs to be worked Absolutely , and so all
¶ Receive and Shine Your Light
of that .
Well , again , I thank you , and for our Purge family , I thank you for joining us with this episode , but I wanted to call out a few takeaways . I hope we all learn how to be better receivers and receive with grace , would be gracious in receiving and with gratitude , because we are worthy .
And for those of us who have light has started to dim or we don't even know how to tap into our light , let's be focused and intentional about finding our light and making sure our light is illuminated , because we all need it and we all take up space in this world , so we should be making the best out of the space that we take up .
Till we meet again , and thank you guys , have an amazing day , take care .