Indigenous life: Catherine Lafferty

Learning. Catherine who is 46 had to face many difficult situations early on in her life such as being in foster care and being pregnant at a young age. She wrote a book about her story with the name "Northern Wildflower" and in November last year I met with her to talk about it but before we hear from her personal story Catherine explains what changed for Indigenous people in the northwest territories in the last decades.

And so when money came in Yellowknife really boomed and a lot of people from the south started hearing about this place called Yellowknife and started coming here for a work because they knew oh you know it's it's it's a kind of a cash grab. We can go and we can we can have nothing and then we can get

rich. And so that's what actually ended up happening a lot of families came here and you can see that they are the ones that owned the big houses and they're passing their their money on to their children and their children's children and stuff like that and they bought probably bought these houses for a dollar back in that day you know and they just claimed the claim the land in it

but the indigenous people didn't have that opportunity. They were told that they needed to live in housing and they needed to abide by the rules in society. And so when you know it came time for them to actually try to work it was difficult for them to get a job. So they usually got the less paying jobs like the laboris shops and stuff like that and then after the gold mines shut down there was there was diamonds and diamonds was the big thing with money.

And when the diamond mines moved in it was really hard for a lot of families to stay together because the diamond mines where we vote in the barren lands and so a lot of men had to go to work for two weeks at a time and then they'd come back home and maybe call and spend all their money on drinking or whatever and that that was at the time that was about 15 years ago and you can see that a lot of there was a lot of breakdown in

families and that was because there was just this huge rush of money that came into the community and they didn't really know what to do with it and are just like all this money. So then of course with the economy changing drugs come in and you know all all different kinds of things. Yellowknife really turned into a big city then when the diamond mine kind of opened. So yeah my grandmother was born on an island with no electricity no running

water. She lived completely off the land and that was what worked well for our people. We were content and we had our own laws that we followed.

We were really connected to the land and the spirit and we have hunting grounds and toplines all over and those are being still being used by by people that still know those trails and those historic places but those kind of things need to be kept alive through telling stories and passing that knowledge down because our elders are getting older now and those elders were taught by their elders so that's how our oral traditions get passed down.

And so yeah it's it's really it's for me I haven't really seen the changes because I am you know I'm only 36 but my grandmothers definitely seen a lot of change in her lifetime because she went from living completely off of the land to living in and the city were the town of Yellowknife where before that there was no town there at all like the downtown area of Yellowknife was all blueberries and that's where they almost hunted for moose. So now it's just completely changed around since the 40s.

It's just been booming and booming and people kind of got shuffled into a corner on the peninsula of Dilo and then in data which is a community about 30 kilometres from here and so yeah there's been encroachment definitely there's been land encroachment and dispossession of homes and that's another huge thing is the housing system you know our people lived in canvas tents and teepees and we were fine with that and we we lived in a community where our grandmothers

lived with us and our aunties and uncles and everybody kind of all lived together and helped each other and when the government came in and said here's a home start paying rent and your is going to go live in an old folks home and your kids are going to go to school. It divided up the family and people kind of didn't know what to do anymore.

And another thing was that our men were told no more hunting you have to start now working in an office and you know they tried to fit into that society but unfortunately it was really difficult for them because they didn't have the education and even if they did have the education it was hard for them to find a job because they were discriminated against and often times weren't

even hired at all. So all of these there's layers and layers and layers of issues that and barriers that Indigenous people face in the Northwest Territories and are still facing today. But we're gently fighting.

For most of my life so I was always kind of back and forth though and I've had this tumultuous relationship with my mother for as far as I can remember and I still do because she still struggles with drugs and alcohol addiction and it's also from her growing up and her numbing her own pain from the loss of losing her three brothers particularly her little brother Rex who was who went missing back in the 80s when I think I was only 1 years old so that was really hard for her.

So yeah growing up in Yellowknife once I actually ended up staying here because we did get shuffled to northern Ontario where my mom. I don't know for the life of her why she she moved us. There was some strange man that she was dating at the time.

We live there and I think for about a year and I was actually placed in the foster care system for some time and that was a really scary time for me because I was away from my family and it was really like I didn't know what was happening to me and I didn't know if I was ever going to see my family again basically being in foster care. Felt like a life sentence for me. I don't really know how long I was there. I would like to say I was probably there for about

six months. It could have been more could have been less but at that time in my life I was I think I was 10 years old or so and I don't really recall I think I feel like a lot of these memories that I have. I've blocked because they hurt. I think there was about maybe 10 children at one time like there was quite a few children in that house and there were a range from babies all the way up to my age and they were all indigenous and that the parents were very strict and very uncaring.

You know like go to sleep at 7:00 and Lake just rules that were really just not fair and just not you know conducive to you know like a regular lifestyle like family living. There was no lake tucking in and good night and there was no hugs or kisses. And now looking back I realized that a lot of these foster parents do get into being foster parents not just because they actually really sincerely care about the children but it's because it's a paycheck.

They're getting a thousand dollars a month or so I think per child. So when you kind of add that up you know that's that's actually pretty good money. And so when foster parents go in and actually foster foster children not caring about the child but just caring about the paycheck what ends up happening is they are just as neglected if not worse than where they were coming from in their own family because at least in their own family they had an unconditional love

no matter what. Even though there was some there are some issues there. Like with my mom having to having her children placed in foster care because of a domestic violence like a partner that abused her. I feel like the system could have actually worked with her to help her instead of just crying her children away from her and saying oh no you know you. This is your fault. It's almost like places the shame on her even more.

And thankfully like my mom was healthy enough to actually work towards getting us back. But lots of mothers gave up because it's just so difficult not like having your own children beside you and feeling so ashamed of yourself for losing them. A lot of them just keep drinking because that's the only way they know how to deal with the feelings that they're going through and it's really difficult to pick themselves back up and be like OK I've got to do this.

And so Yallock she had many things coming at her. I don't know how she left her abusive partner but. Thankfully she did. And I think that really changed me and it kind of made me into a rebellious teenager and so I was just kind of like wild and angry at the world and angry that you know I didn't have this perfect family that a lot of the people I went to school with had and I was just didn't understand why things were the way they were. For my family.

So I I stopped hanging out with my regular friends and kind of doing all the things that I was doing before I was drinking heavily and stuff like that and I knew well enough to not drink which is thankfully I didn't. And I told my family that I was pregnant. And everybody was pretty upset with me and wanted me to get an abortion. And those kind of things and I don't know why but for some reason I was just against abortion. I didn't want to do that.

For some reason and so I I went through half of my pregnancy not really thinking about what I was going to do. And when I finally said OK like you know sat down with my doctor and she she sat me down and said you know you need to really think about why you're going to do here because you're going to have this baby and I thought about my life and I thought about you know I'm living in a housing with my grandmother and my little sister.

My grandmother can barely get by as it is if I keep this baby you know I'm going to be not going to be able to do all the things that I wanted to do. Actually I didn't even really know what it was that I wanted to do. But I didn't want to put a burden on my grandmother. So I yeah I just told the doctor you know let me have a look at these adoption papers because she told me that there was an option and I didn't really know how it worked.

So she sent me home with two books of requests from people and Canada that we're looking to adopt. And so I took them home. I read them and one of them really stood out to me. It was a family in the north further north in the Yukon actually than they weren't able to have children. So that to me just kind of like touched my heart you know like these people really really wanted to have a baby and they weren't able to.

And so I thought you know I'll just talk to them and meet them and see what they're like. And I called them which was really really hard for me. I was alone too. And one of the things I do when a big decisions like that for some reason I make them alone. I don't know why I don't consult with my family and my friends. But I didn't tell anybody.

And I called them and the they pretty much came to Yellowknife on the first flight and met me and we went for dinner and we were just the nicest people and they were just generally you know wanting a baby. And just the woman was a nurse she was the head nurse at the local community clinic and her husband on the company and they were they were not wealthy but they were you know middle class. And so I thought you know I think I'm I think I'm going to make up my mind here.

And I had conditions sat with the lawyer that you know I would be able to send the baby gifts and stuff like that throughout her life and keep in constant contact with her until she was about 12 years old and she would know me and she would know that she was adopted. All those things and you have my name as her middle name. So I had all these stipulations in their set for her and that she would know where she came from and and those kind of things.

And so yeah when the day came when she was born. Well first of all she didn't want to come out. The baby was not ready for the world and she was almost a month overdue. She was really really overdue and I was in so much pain during the labor. It was really really intense. And eventually after two grueling days of like torture labor I finally was able to have a Syrian section. And so the doctors did the surgery and her adoptive mother was in the room and she was given to her adoptive mother right

away. And that's kind of like when my heart sank. I was kind of like that's when it really really hit home I was like wow OK this is not my baby. Like I just kind of went through all of this pain and everything. And to give her away like it I think is the most selfless thing I've ever done and ever will to you and I. I feel like now I I definitely have closure with that.

And for a long time though it took me it took me a long time to to come to grips with what I. The decision I made and that I couldn't go back on and I couldn't just change my mind and say hey I want my baby back. She wasn't my baby and I had to really really come to grips with that and so when I was in the hospital I I after having her it was really really early in the morning and I went to go just have a look at her.

I had to get up and walk around anyway. The nurses were telling me to get up and so I went to just go look at her to see what she looked like cause I hadn't seen her. And she was so beautiful and so chubby. She was a really really big baby. And I was just kind of admiring her through the window in the nursery. And then the one of the nurses on duty said you know your mom you can come on in and you know you can take her back to your room.

And I was just kind of like you know I had the opportunity at that point in time to say well this is an adoption here and I probably shouldn't

but I didn't. I just took her with me and wheeled her back in her little bassinet to my room and sat with her for a little while and you know undressed her and looked at a little body and just saw how beautiful she was and I admired her and you know patted her hair and everything and gave her kisses and told her you know I loved her and yeah it was it was definitely one of those moments in my life where I will never ever forget it like I'll always remember that I had this beautiful little

gift. And so when I when I finally brought her back to her room or to the nursery. It just so happened which is you know throughout my life my life has been ironic like this. It just so happened that her adoptive mother was coming to go and to come and see her. And it was just like in the movie she is kind of stopped and was like you know my gosh she's changing her mind and she I think she was throughout the whole entire thing. She was a little bit worried that that was going to happen.

She was probably told that I could at any moment change my mind and she was prepared for that. But I think that at that time it just was really devastating for her. And you can tell that she was really hurting. So later on in that day the lawyer came to see me. She must talk to the lawyer and the lawyer came in and said you know Katherine like if you're changing her mind this is this and this. And I kind of just was like no you know I'm not changing my mind.

And I didn't really have too much of a conversation with her. I was really upset at that point. Yeah. And so when it came time to bring the baby home everybody was kind of like surrounding us. And are in the hospital room. And I felt very almost like out of body like it. I wasn't even there. And it was like I was just being used for this other purpose that was greater than me. And so not use I guess that's

not a good word. But there was some other purpose going on that was greater than me and I was just kind of bearing witness to what was happening. And so yeah after she went to her parents her new parents and her new home. We kept in contact and I sent her a birthday presents every year.

And you know Christmas presents and stuff like that and cards and her family also sent pictures so I have lots of pictures of her all the way growing up even even some home videos and stuff like that and I did get to meet her when she was 12 years old. And the city that she lives in now she no longer lives in the north. She lives in the city. She's 20 years old now. Very very beautiful. And yeah I got to I got to meet her and that was really nice. So we don't have a relationship right now.

And that's up to her and I think since she's still kind of figuring her own self out and you know at that age you're kind of not quite a teenager but she's just becoming a young adult. I think that eventually I hope anyway that she'll eventually want to know who her little brother and sister are because she does know that she has extended family and other brothers and sisters so hopefully one day she'll come over and visit us.

And to me it is very impressive where she stands today. She is a councillor for the and in First Nation a group of Indigenous people in the Northwest Territories. She also works as a director of Indigenous education at the Deshinta Centre for Research and Learning. I'll let her explain what that is.

We're bringing them out on the land and that's where they learn they learn from the land they learn from their elders and local knowledge experts indigenous faculty on topics such as colonization and colonization and they're getting a unique learning opportunity because the first will basically when the students are brought on site they're brought out to what we call an hour camp where they are living completely off the grid just like our ancestors did.

They're living like my grandma ended up sleeping on Spruce bow floor. They don't have a fridge. They don't have electricity. They don't have running water so they're fetching water from the lake. They're doing everything like their ancestors did and learning how what a difficult lifestyle that was and how important it is to connect physically emotionally and spiritually to the land and to our community linked together.

We realize that you know when we're living like that we need to depend on each other for certain things. And so it's it's quite an amazing learning opportunity and what happens with a lot of the students is that they're just they're just transformed. They come out of the program after six to eight weeks and they are completely confident in who they are in their identity.

And that's one of the big takeaways from addition to and why I work with Dushyanta because it is life changing and it is a solution to many many social problems in our communities such as you know mental health addictions poverty this education gap and then of beauty. There's just so many things that Tissint can help to to find solutions for. And it's just it's just an amazing program so I'm really really happy to be a part of it.

And I think it's a really really good time for Indigenous people in this country and it's only going to get better and stronger and I think we cannot forget where we come from and that our spirits need to remain strong and that we need to respect the land because we are definitely like the Guardians of the land and you know we kind of like protect our sacred spaces and so we need to always do that no matter what we do. And I just yeah I'm I'm really thankful to be an Indigenous person today.

And you know when I was growing up I wasn't I was actually ashamed that I was came from you know an Indigenous family and now I'm thankful you know that I understand because you know I was shame because I didn't know why my family was the way they are and now I understand why it's because we were just you know forced into assimilation we were forced to be dependent on the government.

We were just forced to kind of like you know fit into society when really we we shouldn't have ever had to and thankfully you know my daughter and my son are going to grow up being proud of who they are and it's completely different now. You know I look at my daughter and I'm like wow she wants to wear my moccasins and she wants to like show them off. And when I was little that's the last thing I wanted to do.

You know I was so embarrassed that I had these clothes that my grandma made me that were just beautiful and now I'm like wow. So it's really definitely taken I can see the change and I can see how we're being more and more respected and that's from standing up for ourselves. And if we never did have this revolution that's coming that's been in the making now for some time then I think that we would still kind of be

way back where we were. But I think we're coming full circle now and I think we're definitely it's a good time for Indigenous people.