Have you ever yelled at your child for leaving their clothes on the floor or not hanging their school bag up when they walk in the door? Today I want to unpack why it is that our children’s behavior can trigger us into wild outbursts of anger and how although we will never be able to control our kid's actions, we can control our reactions. Download my FREE guide: Healing Ourselves Through Journaling Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review. Follo...
Mar 14, 2023•15 min•Season 4Ep. 192
If you were born in the ’80s or ‘90’s you were more than likely raised using shame and threats and punishments. This is no fault of our parents they were doing what they thought was right but this model doesn’t foster a great parent-child relationship. Coming in with empathy and understanding when our kids make mistakes infuses more connection into the relationship. And guess what, it’s not about the amount of time we spend with our child that builds a deep, meaningful, rich relationship it’s ab...
Mar 09, 2023•13 min•Season 4Ep. 191
Today I want to give you some ways to use those moments when your child is having a tantrum or big feelings as a way to connect with them. If we can use these moments well by giving them space and showing them self-regulation. It will teach them so much and do wonders for your relationship in the years to come. Understanding Big Emotions Course I am rolling out a new parenting mastermind this spring to help parents like you experience more connection, more love, and less frustration with the chi...
Mar 07, 2023•15 min•Season 4Ep. 190
Many of us grew up with our parents teaching us lessons through correction, we would make a mistake or do something wrong and our parents would come in with phrases like ”You shouldn’t have done that” or “That was wrong”. In this episode, I'll show you how you come in with connection instead and why this goes further towards building relationship with our kids. I am rolling out a new parenting mastermind this spring to help parents like you experience more connection , more love , and less frust...
Mar 02, 2023•14 min•Season 4Ep. 187
I recently made a post on Instagram where I told parents they should not say to their kids “You hurt my feelings” whenever they say something mean or unkind. This post garnered a lot of comments so I thought I would unpack it further in today’s episode. The parent-child relationship differs from our other relationships, we have to give our kids space to have big feelings and say things without shaming them and making it about us and how we feel. Working with individuals and couples is my most fa...
Feb 28, 2023•24 min•Season 4Ep. 188
I have had parents suggest that connective parenting can be construed as distracting or manipulative, I think there are times when this could be true, so today I want to share with you how you can avoid this and make coming in with connection and play a way to better the relationship before trying to better the behavior. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unravel the struggles of each individual family I work with. It’s ...
Feb 23, 2023•13 min•Season 4Ep. 187
As parents, we often think that we need to step in between sibling arguments and rescue the child who is the victim of this aggressive behavior from their sibling, Today on the show I want to talk about using connection and empathy instead of shame and how this shift in how I handled these situations with my kids eventually helped them to think more clearly and even work things out without me. Check out my Siblings, not Rivals course here... https://courses.peaceandparentingla.com/workshop Worki...
Feb 21, 2023•17 min•Season 4Ep. 186
We might think that it’s our role as parents to modify and correct the behavior of our kids, and we often do that by using rewards and punishments. But this is an archaic principle developed from lab tests with rats. Today Michelle talks about how being a parent is more about relationship management, and changing our own behavior and self-regulation is the key to influencing our kid's behavior. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connec...
Feb 16, 2023•16 min•Season 4Ep. 185
If you’ve been listening to Peace and Parenting for a while you’ll have heard Michelle talk about “Special Time”. Today she unpacks the benefit it has for both your kids and you, and some of the rules and pitfalls around creating these special moments of connection with your kids. And if you have teens there are some great tips in here for how to do this with those more reluctant ages. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and ...
Feb 14, 2023•22 min•Season 4Ep. 184
As parents, we naturally resort to correction, yelling, punishments, and even shame when our kids make mistakes. But these actions often convey that our love for them depends on their behavior. Listen in today as Michelle helps you understand how to show your kids unconditional love when moments get tough. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unravel the struggles of each individual family I work with. It’s a transformatio...
Feb 09, 2023•17 min•Season 4Ep. 183
Michelle shares the story behind Peace And Parenting and how a moment in the family pool lead to her discovering connected parenting. She threw away the star charts, rewards, and punishments and began connecting with her kids and it changed her life and the relationship she has with her kids. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unravel the struggles of each individual family I work with. It’s a transformational paradigm s...
Feb 07, 2023•28 min•Season 4Ep. 182
Having trouble with your kids fighting during playtime? In today’s episode, Michelle answers questions from one of her followers and gives us all tips for dealing with that one child who has gone offline and how she uses special time and roughhousing to get them back online again. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unravel the struggles of each individual family I work with. It’s a transformational paradigm shift each an...
Feb 02, 2023•25 min•Season 4Ep. 181
Being a parent is hard. There are so many responsibilities, errands, extracurricular activities, pick-ups, drop-offs, and bills to pay, not to mention your other relationships to maintain. Today Michelle gives you a reason to underparent, to sit on the couch and watch a movie or have that second bowl of dessert. It's actually a necessary part of becoming a connected parent. Working with individuals and couples is my most favorite work. We dive deeply into the ideas of connection and unravel the ...
Jan 31, 2023•13 min•Season 4Ep. 180
Sometimes it seems as if one or more of our kids doesn't have feelings, or is okay with anything. As if they are so easy in nature that nothing bothers them. Maybe that is true to some degree. Perhaps they are more easygoing personalities, but what if those feelings are there and just need a place to come out and space to be seen and heard? Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Sleep Ez Natural Support capsules and the Aromatherapy Lavender Spray from Botanic Choice to help me rela...
Jan 26, 2023•16 min•Season 4Ep. 179
Strong-willed kids are often sensitive, like my sweet Esme. These kids will make parenting using conventional ideas very challenging. Good for them to push back against the ideas of control and manipulation. Their internal workings tell them these tactics are attacks on their psyche. The problem is they come out fighting and then the circle of behavior begins with little hope of getting it to stop except through connection. Let's dive in and see just exactly how we can help these lovely beings. ...
Jan 24, 2023•13 min•Season 4Ep. 178
The feelings our children display can be difficult for us to endure. However, when we do with calm, we show them we are safe and able to be their container. As life moves on we are cementing this idea. When things are hard where will they come? But only if we can illustrate we are actually safe. Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Sleep Ez Natural Support capsules and the Aromatherapy Lavender Spray from Botanic Choice to help me relax and let go of the day. Botanic Choice is a t...
Jan 19, 2023•13 min•Season 4Ep. 177
Often we say our child is upset when they “don’t get their own way” but is it that simple and are they “allowed to have feelings around disappointment? Aren’t we upset when things don’t go our own way? Isn’t it true we feel disappointed or defeated? Just because they are little doesn’t mean they aren’t “allowed” to have those feelings too. Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Sleep Ez Natural Support capsules and the Aromatherapy Lavender Spray from Botanic Choice to help me relax...
Jan 17, 2023•12 min•Season 4Ep. 176
Connective parenting is for all kids because it draws from the ideas of unconditional love and relationship instead of rewards and punishments. All children and all people thrive with connection and do not do well with punishment, belittlement, or harshness. Who wants to be treated in these ways and what does this type of treatment do to a child's brain? Find out all the answers in this week's podcast. Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the Sleep Ez Natural Support capsules and the ...
Jan 12, 2023•12 min•Season 4Ep. 175
Do we actually believe we aren’t good enough parents because we weren’t good enough kids? Were our mistakes punished and pointed out in order to make us feel bad and do we feel bad now when we mess up, chastise ourselves and hold ourselves to unattainable standards like the ones our parents held us to? I believe this could be a big part of the parent shaming cycle that never ends but continues outside of our childhood. Let’s reframe this idea. Having trouble sleeping? I have been using both the ...
Jan 10, 2023•13 min•Season 4Ep. 174
The brain functions well with connection and is at ease when they feel good about the people that are around. Especially children and babies. The limbic system looks to connect with other limbic systems in order to feel safe. Our children are constantly looking to make connections in order to establish a deep connection with a caretaker to ensure they are taken care of. They are provided shelter, sustenance, and protection. Maintaining connections for children is vital to their existence. Listen...
Jan 05, 2023•12 min•Season 4Ep. 173
This realization of being a bully didn’t come to Michelle early on in parenting, but as she reflects she now sees her behavior as a young mom resembled that of bullying. The yelling, threats, bribes, and shame aren’t something any child should have to live with, and really no person. Do we want to show up in our loving relationships in this way or would we rather come to them with love and understanding? It can be hard when society and often our own families are telling us otherwise. Having trou...
Jan 03, 2023•15 min•Season 4Ep. 172
There are some things that we can keep top of mind when we are thinking about being a connected parent. Michelle gives you a short list to help outline just what it means to be a connected parent and how we can reframe our thoughts and minds to stay on our path of coming with unconditional love and guidance as opposed to being the judge and jury. Active Threads is a female-run company with two moms at the helm. I love supporting working moms like myself when I can, so as a gift to my listeners, ...
Dec 22, 2022•11 min•Season 4Ep. 171
There is much anxiety around being a parent. So much so that it can be paralyzing or have us believing we are “messing” up our kids or otherwise ruining them. There’s a place to give ourselves grace and to also recognize where some of those anxieties stem from Join Michelle and the Lovely Sheryl Paul from @wisdomofanxiety as she shares her deep wisdom around parenting and anxiety. Connect with Sheryl on Instagram @wisdomofanxiety or on her website https://conscious-transitions.com/ I’m answering...
Dec 20, 2022•33 min•Season 4Ep. 170
Are we wired to fix things with our kids and perhaps with our partners as well? Does this place us in a position to miss the feelings which might be mulling around and go straight to this idea that we cannot allow our loved ones to suffer, as it might be too difficult for us? Dr. Tracy D collaborates on a joint podcast where she and Michelle discuss how these ideas show up both in our partnerships and our parenting. Active Threads is a female-run company with two moms at the helm. I love support...
Dec 15, 2022•31 min•Season 4Ep. 169
I had a client ask for a daily reset and so here it is. Ten things to think about that can help you reframe your day as you begin to parent, or perhaps before you pick them up or as you are embarking on a long vacation, or just whenever. I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my Instagram subscription community plus we have a private chat and exclusive videos. It’s only $4.99 a month, you can join on my Instagram page and become more connected to your kids. IG: @pea...
Dec 13, 2022•11 min•Season 4Ep. 168
Let’s be honest parenting is really hard and sometimes impossible. This week I keep it real with you and tell you all the things that have me stumped. It doesn’t mean I love my kids less, but it does mean that I struggle just like you, and to be honest there are days I want to run away. There are days I wish they were grown and there are days when it is more challenging than I ever imagined. I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my Instagram subscription community ...
Dec 08, 2022•12 min•Season 4Ep. 167
There's much discussion about regulation. How do I get my child to self-regulate? How do I get them to learn about their emotions and learn emotional regulation? Can I teach it to them and what is the best way? Many folks want to explain and teach breathing techniques and ways to name their feelings. But co-regulation is where it's really at. Co-regulation is where kids really internalize the idea of maintaining their cool. I’m answering live parenting questions every week for the members of my ...
Dec 06, 2022•13 min•Season 4Ep. 166
Respect is something society tells us our children "need" to have for us. Kids are expected to respect their elders and "be" respectful. Much of the respect I see is respect that is forced and not the kind that is earned. My children need to earn my respect and me theirs. We live in a reciprocal relationship that is based on mutual respect. Isn't that what we want in our other loving relationships? Why would this one be any different? Active Threads is a female-run company with two moms at the h...
Dec 01, 2022•13 min•Season 4Ep. 165
Yep, I said it, and I believe it. Punishment is revenge in a very real way. We don’t punish children for any other reason except we want them to “pay” for what they did. It’s not our fault, as our parents did the same thing. If we look at our own childhood we can remember what it felt like and how punitive and unkind it came across. Is this what we want for our kids? My gift to you this holiday season is 20% off all my on-demand programs plus my monthly membership. This includes How to Stop Yell...
Nov 29, 2022•10 min•Season 4Ep. 164
How do we teach our children gratitude? Is it through direct instruction or lessons on being grateful? Do we point out all the things in their lives that they should be grateful for, or make them regurgitate things they are grateful for at the Thanksgiving Table? What is being grateful anyway and how do we show our children we are grateful for them? Have a listen and maybe gain a different perspective. My gift to you this holiday season is 20% off all my on-demand programs plus my monthly member...
Nov 24, 2022•11 min•Season 4Ep. 163
