Todd Answers: How can I stop hating and complaining about everything?

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Welcome to the Eastwesticism podcast where our host, Todd Perelmuter shares the lessons he's learned spending eight years living with gurus, monks, lamas, and shamans across 35 countries and five continents. Join in the journey as he brings the best scientifically proven methods for living your best life from the east and the west, straight to you. The path to peace, love, health, and happiness starts here.

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Hello, and welcome to our latest podcast. Today we're going to be answering a question that someone submitted to us on the internet. And that question is, How can I stop hating and complaining about everything? And I think that that's really such an important question, because we all have these self constructed personnel personalities. And we believe that our likes and dislikes make up such a strong part of our personality, and who we are, we believe that it really makes us who we are, that really couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is, we are all able to choose our own likes and dislikes, we're able to change our likes and dislikes over time. You know, this is evidence to me in a few ways. One is the fact that no matter what it is that you like, someone else dislikes. And no matter what you dislike someone else likes, no matter what it is, you know, it could be cleaning toilets, someone out there likes it, you know, it's not some thing we're born with. These are things that we inherit really from our surroundings, and our parents and our friends. And it can just be little little things we don't even realize we're picking up on, you know, a little child sees a parent who freaks out of a bug. And that child can internalize that and repeat that response, because that's what they've picked up as normal. But the truth is, you know, one of the other evidences that these are things in our control is that anything that there is to like or dislike people have changed from liking to dislike over time, we do this all the time. You know, the first time you drink alcohol, it's disgusting, but then keep going. And then a lot of people acquire a taste for it. Cheese is often a similar thing where you know, it stinks, and it's gross, but then you you know, you keep trying and we acquire a taste for it. Not that anyone should drink alcohol or eat cheese, but it just goes to show you that that anything you kind of set your mind to like is is achievable. You know, the same thing goes for really everything. It's really about framing how we look at things. So waiting in a long line, very few people would say that this is a pleasurable experience. But if you reframe it, as you know, this is a great opportunity to practice my patients and achieve a greater sense of patience, and peace. This is a perfect opportunity to breathe and meditate, then it becomes a gift. We can really reframe anything. So the first step to changing our likes and dislikes starts with becoming aware of it. And that awareness is so important because a lot of times you know the brain complains, the average human brain is negative about 70% of the time, we don't even think about it. So by bringing some attention to our thoughts, this is best done and meditation when you can just sit still block out everything else and just turn your attention inwards and become aware of what's going on in your mind and body. We can become aware of our thinking patterns, our thoughts and our mental behaviors. By doing so, we can realize you know this belief this attitude this pinion is not helpful is not serving me is making me miserable. So, once we have spent some time increasing our awareness and raising our consciousness, and becoming aware of all of the ways, our mind is sabotaging our peace and happiness, we can consciously use our conscious mind to reframe and create new likes and dislikes. Sometimes that might be doing things that initially we didn't like, or trying things we were originally scared of, or forcing us to do things we shouldn't be doing that we don't want to do. All of these have an incredible benefit, where if we look at the benefit, if we look at the opportunities and strength that they can bring, then we like it, we like the benefits. And so you know, everyone wants to be more patient, everyone wants to be healthier. And even though these things, you know, we all kind of have the initial reaction of like, I don't want to do that. Um, once we focus on the outcome, once we focus on our motivations and our goals, we can transform a dislike into a light to if we don't like alcohol, we shouldn't try to like alcohol, since we naturally don't like alcohol, because it's it's a toxic poison. And essentially, that we, that our is our body telling us, this is gross Don't, don't consume more, but we were able to push through and we're able to like it relatively easy, we can do the same thing even more easily and effortlessly, with something that is difficult at first. And these are the things that create really long lasting happiness, really long lasting fulfillment, and the rewards just keep on coming and coming. So no matter what it is that you're sure you're you're just the kind of person that doesn't like going to gyms, you know, I understand that there's a lot of things about the gym that you know, are uncomfortable at first, maybe you're not at your ideal weight. And, you know, you feel like people are gonna stare at you or whatever. But you know, that's how you get to your ideal weight. And that's, that's something to just in myriad ways is worth overcoming both the insecurity and lack of self confidence, and, you know, fears, these are all such important things to overcome, because each one is holding you back. And you know, the more you put yourself out there, the more you keep practicing kind of bravery and enduring, uncomfortable things, when it's got a positive goal behind it is the only things worth doing really. Just remember every time you have a negative thought or a complaint or feeling you know, really negative towards something you have to do, just notice it. And then say thank you to that situation for giving you the opportunity to grow, become stronger, and be able to evolve as a complete human being. So that's what I'd say, you know, just anytime you're feeling those, those thoughts creep up, just reframe it and turn it into gratitude. And it's a really easy process. It just takes awareness and awareness that it is not defining of who you are, and that you can change anything about you you choose. It's, you know, just because most thoughts happen unconsciously, doesn't mean we can't consciously change those thought patterns. So I hope that helps. I hope that answers your question. And feel free to send us any questions you like as well. On Twitter at toddperel, or you can email us at hello@eastwesticism at eastwesticism.org . Thank you so much for listening and have a wonderful day.

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