¶ Transactional Analysis
Welcome back to another episode of Theory 2 Therapy . I'm Linton .
I'm Stacy and I'm Eric . We've got a great topic today . Today , we're diving deep into the world of transactional analysis , or TA for short . Or , as I like to think of it , different strokes for different folks .
I wonder what a stroke is .
Oh , you'll find out soon enough .
Well , ta was developed by Eric Burney in the 50s and , believe it or not , it's been an influential psychoanalytic theory and therapists have been using it for decades , but I bet a few of you have ever heard of it or ever used it in a session . It's based on the idea that , basically , human interactions are something called transactions .
Transactions are the communication exchanges between individuals . Specifically , one ego state interacts with another ego state . The overall goal of TA is to do what it's to manage our ego states . So there are five main concepts in TA Ego states , transactions , life positions , scripts and game Right .
And how do we keep track of all these for the exam Linton ? Well , easy peasy .
Just remember elephants tread lightly , seldom galloping . Yeah , that's such a big help , linton . Okay , elephants for ego states tread for transactions lightly . For life positions , seldom for scripts . And galloping for games Elephants tread lightly , seldom galloping .
So with all the information you need to have at your fingertips as for this exam , you need all the help that you can get . So check out our study smarter podcast series for a boost to your learning curve while studying Okay .
Well , there's a lot to transactional analysis , so we'll start with a general overview and then we'll shift into talking about the nitty gritty details .
So the basic idea Linton was saying is that the way we interact with other people is often influenced by core beliefs that we have about ourselves and others , and these are called life positions , and they're formed in childhood , typically by your caregivers or parents , and they play a role in how you interact with others .
Each life position has its own implications and can have a significant influence on your behavior . So it's really important to be aware of which life position you're in so you can make more conscious choices about how you interact with others . Exactly , stacey .
And to figure out those clients life positions , you need to analyze the transactions that they engage in . Hence the name transactional analysis , and it's the interactions between ego states Another main concept that leads to the discovery of all kinds of strange , obsequious and clairvoyant dynamics . Oh yes , so it's clairvoyant dynamics .
You're so good at Linton , but talking about the concept of ego states , it seems like you're channeling your free spirited child state Linton , or perhaps having a 1960s flashback . But right you are . The heart of TA is the three primary ego states . The first concept we'll talk about . The ego states are the parent , the child and the adult .
Every interaction we have can be traced back to one of these states and these ego states have unique attributes .
Uh-huh , and the parent ego state is the result of behaviors , thoughts and feelings that you copied from your caregivers or significant authority figures in your lives .
There's two aspects of the parent ego states , by the way the nurturing parent that is effective for giving and tolerant , and the critical parent that is controlling , intends to be bossy , judgmental and stern .
Hmm , and what about the child state ?
Yeah , the child state . The child state captures our childhood feelings and behaviors . That's actually split into two parts the free child , which is the free-spirited , and the adaptive child that has been influenced by external rules , regulations and requirements imposed by parents or other authoritative figures .
Clients' behavior in response to those parental demands often results in two conditions for the rest of their lives Either they become compliant or they become rebellious .
I wonder which of those two child states you spend most of your time in , as I'm not sure , Linton , but I wasn't the one who had a leash put on them when you were let out of the house or had to be strapped down in your bed every night for fear that you'd wander around or set the house on fire .
Okay , okay , all right , as you made your point .
It sounds like both of your transactions could be future podcasts in themselves . But back to our lesson , linton .
Yeah Well , Stacey , it sounds like you're channeling your mother's parent . Ego state there .
Yep , and you're lucky that it's the nurturing one too . So the last ego state , the adult , is the one that stays in the here and now . And the adult state is alert , logical and realistic .
You know the type or maybe you've seen it in yourself when you're striving to be clean , neat and orderly , when , in the adult ego state , behaviors and interactions with others are not influenced by past experiences or empathy . Instead , it's all about facts , logic and objectivity . Need a few examples of the adult state in action ?
We'll just drive down to Publix with Linton and try to get a refund on the organic celery that he bought that tastes like dirt . Right , he'll be calm , cool and collected as he pulls out his receipt and explains the situation . Right , linton .
Right , that's exactly what I would do .
Or how about when you go to get your driver's license renewed at the DMV , or they call it the Secretary of State Office up here in Michigan , which had me really confused when we first moved here ?
As long as you go prepared to share just the facts I have brown hair and green eyes and avoid going down that rabbit hole of why the cost of license plates is more than doubled what it was , then you'll do just fine . Or how about when you ask Eric Eric , do you know what time it is ? And he responds by simply saying yes .
It just sounded like a yes or no question to me .
You're not wrong , just very , very literal . Well Now , before we continue with the other key concepts , here's a quick summary of the three ego states we've talked about so far . We've got the adult , who is always logical , literal and realistic . The parent , who is either the critical parent or the nurturing parent .
And the child , who is either the free child or the adaptive child . As Linton said earlier , the overall goal of TA is to manage our ego states and really strengthen the adult ego state . In the adult state , you're able to think rationally and logically about a situation or a person , without letting your emotions or those past experiences cloud your judgment .
This is the state you want to strive for in order to communicate effectively and create positive relationships .
All right . So we've got the ego states . What about transactions ? I'm guessing these are where the ego states are interacting with each other .
Yeah right , you are , eric . So now that you know about the ego states , it's time to talk about transactions , which are the communication exchanges between individuals . Just like with the three ego states , there are three types of transactions that you need to be aware of . Number one complementary transactions .
These happen when the sender and the receiver's ego states complement each other . It's like the color wheel , where you have complementary colors . They harmonize with each other . Number two crossed transactions . These happen when the ego state of the sender does not reach the intended ego state of the receiver .
Maybe the sender of the message was expecting the receiver to respond from an adult ego state , but instead the receiver's child state was triggered . Typically , these transactions don't go really well because the receiver's response doesn't align with the sender's expectations or their needs . Last but not least , there are number three , ulterior transactions .
These are hidden messages or secondary gains , where the overt message differs from the covert message . The sender's message sounds one way on the surface , but there's an underlying meaning or intention . These transactions can be tricky , so you have to keep your antenna up , all right .
So , with all this talk about transactions , this leads us to another transactional analysis concept called life positions . Eric , can you talk us through this one ?
Yes , yes , I can .
Eric , what Stacy is asking is for you to tell us about the four different life positions .
Oh , why didn't you say so ? Why didn't you literally say so ?
¶ Understanding Life Positions, Scripts, and Games
Life positions are fundamental beliefs about oneself and others which are , as you said , formed early in childhood but influence the individual's feelings , thoughts and behaviors throughout life . You guessed it , linton . There are a few different ones . Number one I'm okay , you're okay . This is the healthiest position .
It indicates the belief that the person sees themselves as worthy , but also views other people as valuable as well . People with this position have a balanced relationship and approach situations generally with a positive mindset . If two people interact with an I'm okay , you're okay stance , their exchanges will generally be harmonious .
If this causes a spark of recognition , it's because that's the title of the book by Thomas Anthony Harris that popularized TA in the 60s . Number two is I'm okay , you're not okay . Individuals in this position feel good about themselves , but view others with suspicion , distrust or disdain .
It can lead to a sense of superiority , isolation or a tendency to exploit others . Someone with an I'm okay , you're not okay position may be critical or patronizing . They might expect total compliance from the other person and wonder why that other person's not to give it immediately . Number three is I'm not okay , but you're okay .
This position leads to feelings of inferiority . People in this position see others as better , stronger or more competent . They may have low self-esteem and feel that they are at a disadvantage . Someone with I'm not okay , you're okay . Stance might use flattery to mask their insecurity and need constant approval .
And number four , if you've been keeping track , is I'm not okay , you're not okay . This is the most despairing position . Individuals with this worldview feel hopeless about themselves and the world around them and they feel that life is pointless , and they generally experience profound negativity .
Great . Thank you , eric . Now there's a difference between transactions and life positions . So transactions explain the dynamics of interactions , while life positions relate to an individual's worldview or their feelings about themselves and other people .
Understanding an individual's dominant life position can give insights into the kinds of transactions they are most likely to engage in and how they might interpret or respond to stimuli from others . Now , up to this point , we've talked about ego states , transactions and life positions . What about life scripts , clinton ?
Okay . Life scripts in TA refer to life plans or stories that individuals write for themselves at a very young age . Often this is an unconscious process and it's based on their interpretations or misinterpretation of experiences , external influences and decisions about the self and the world .
These scripts dictate patterns of behaviors , feelings and thoughts that will dominate the rest of their life . Here's an analogy Just as an actor follows a script in a play , we follow our life script in real life , enacting all kinds of roles , plots and outcomes that we have decided long , long ago .
You know , Lytton , it almost sounds like you're Presbyterian and everything is preordained .
Well , my grandfather was a Presbyterian minister . But as we know more about the theological implications of life scripts , how about some examples as Well ?
as a matter of fact , I would know all about them , even though I'm a Methodist . There's a rescuer script where a person constantly finds themselves trying to save or fix people or situations . You've probably met people with the scripts and they tend to be excessively self-sacrificing , always putting others' needs before their own .
They may struggle with setting boundaries and often feel taken advantage of , because that's basically what they're opening the door to .
Yeah well , how about the I'll show them script ? Someone following that script is driven by the need to prove themselves , often as a reaction to some early childhood messages that they were never good enough for anything . They may constantly seek success and validation , yet never feel truly satisfied .
And speaking of not good enough , here's another one , the never good enough script . And this one is pretty self-explanatory . So someone following this script feels like they can never quite measure up and they're always falling short of expectations .
Aha , one of my favorites is the have to be right script , where the person is always trying to prove that they are right or smarter than anyone else .
You see that when a lot in group kinds of situations they always seem to be the one person who has an opinion or answer to everything , they always want to get the last word in Underneath it all , they often have deep-seated fear of judgment or rejection if they are not right .
Someone who is following this script tends to initiate arguments and debates with others .
You know , linton , that sounds like the mental health meeting we attended yesterday , but those are some great examples . So once you identify a life script , you can start to work on changing it . And the last concept we want to talk about in this episode is games .
Yeah , I like that sort of like backgammon right .
No , Linton . No , we're not talking about backgammon or go , whatever that is that you used to play when you were growing up . We're talking about psychological games , so take your way here .
That's right . In TA , games refers to a series of unconscious repetitive interactions that recur in a predictable and well-defined matter , just like all of those other games you mentioned , except this is in real life and they often result in an outcome , usually negative , that confirms a self-limiting belief of one or both participants .
Games are repetitive and are played subconsciously , without the participant's awareness . They often reinforce negative feelings and self-concepts , and they serve to maintain patterns of dysfunction . Both people play games in a codependent dance that keeps both individuals stuck in a cycle of negative behavior .
Recognizing these patterns can be the first step in breaking the cycle and developing healthier ways of relating to others .
Okay , cool . Have you got some examples of the games people play ?
Yeah , I do , If it weren't for you . Where one partner in a relationship restricts the actions of the other under the guise of caring , this restricted person blames the other for their unhappiness or inability to do certain things .
Ah , yes , and the one now I've got you . One person feels wrong and waits for an opportunity to catch the other person a mistake and then retaliate .
That's funny , erica . I just recognized that . I've been playing that . Now I've got you game my whole life . You've probably never seen it , maybe have , but when someone wrongfully blames me or misunderstands my genuine intentions , I become defensive and respond , bringing up something that they did wrong to retaliate .
It sounds like you could still be operating from the child ego state with that game . Linton , Wasn't your father a preacher's son ?
You're right , Eric , but let's not go there right now . Okay , I seem to recall that you had some involvement in the heavenly arena . That might be driving some of your behaviors .
Well , that's a nice demonstration of how to play the game Linton . Well , here are some more games you probably have identified . Some of your clients or co-hosts might be stuck playing . Watch it .
All right . How about this one , the I'm only trying to help you game , where one person offers help but their help actually hinders or disempowers the person that they're assisting ?
Yeah , ben there from other people , not me . There's also the look at what you made me do , where the person blames others for their own mistakes or misfortunes .
Yeah , well , while we're on a roll , here's another the game where a person constantly complains about how terrible everything is , in a quest to gain sympathy from others .
And another related game is the poor me , where a person portrays themselves as a victim to get sympathy or manipulate others .
And the I can't help it game , where a person avoids responsibility for their actions by claiming they really had no control .
Those are good ones . Well , we've covered a lot of ground today with transactional analysis , so , summing it up , the five major concepts of TA are number one ego states the behavior and thinking patterns originating from our life experiences . And there are three ego states the parent , adult and child .
Number two is transactions , and these are social exchanges between the different ego states . They can be complimentary , which has an expected response , crossed , that has an unexpected response . Or ulterior , where the message says one thing on the surface but contains another contradictory message just under the radar . And there are three life positions .
These are core beliefs that we have about ourselves and others , and there are four positions the I'm okay , you're okay , and those different variations that Eric walked us through .
Number four scripts , and there's one unconscious script that we all live by the rules and expectations of how we should act and behave , and it's based on our early life experiences and we often continue to create situations that are similar to what we grew up with , even if those situations were negative . And number five games not like back in London .
These are repetitive interactions between people , often with negative outcomes . They often reinforce negative feelings and self concepts and they serve to maintain patterns of dysfunction .
Well , great , if you want to remember the key concepts of T a Stacy , just remember the phrase elephants tread lightly , seldom galloping .
Yes , I got that burned in my skull , linton , thank you .
¶ Understanding Transactional Analysis
Transactional analysis and the final reckoning is a tool that can be used to understand the subconscious dynamics of relationships and how we interact with others . And if you're studying for your licensure exam , knowing something about T a might just give you that extra nudge that pushes you over the top .
Well , that's all for today's episode on transactional analysis . Thanks everybody for joining us on our theory to therapy . I'm Linton .
I'm Stacy and I'm Eric , and understanding is the first step to healing . Until next time , remember . It's in there .