¶ Levels of Conflict in Therapy
Welcome back to our Licensure Exams podcast . I'm Stacey Frost .
And I'm Dr Linton Hutchinson , and today we'll explore four different levels of conflict that you need to know about as you study for your exam .
Right Now . As you all know , conflict is an inevitable part of the human experience . Your job as a therapist is not to prevent conflict , but to help clients manage conflict constructively and resolve it successfully .
So what kind of conflict are we talking about in the context of therapy Stacey ?
Okay , so conflict can be divided into four levels Intrapersonal , interpersonal , intragroup and intergroup . And we'll start with intrapersonal conflict , which is a conflict within the person . Intra means within . Sometimes the most difficult battle we fight are the aspects of ourselves that we deny or prefer not to confront directly .
It's like having a full-blown WWE wrestling match inside your own mind . An intrapersonal conflict reminds me of something the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said Du selbst wirst immer der schlimmste Feinstein im du beginnen kannst . Or , loosely translated you yourself will always be the worst enemy you can encounter .
Das hast ein richtig Frau .
Very good , Linton .
Thanks . When I say the word conflict , you probably conjure up in your mind the image of two people arguing , but you can be in conflict with just yourself as well . So it's like playing a game of mental tug of war , except both sides are you . Some examples of intrapersonal conflict that you might see when you're working with a client are cognitive dissonance .
When the client holds contradictory beliefs or attitudes that clash , they cause mental stress . For example , let's say that you had a client who believes in the sanctity of marriage but having an affair at the same time .
This creates a kind of intrapersonal conflict that's as uncomfortable as wearing flip-flops and shorts in a Michigan winter , especially any time in that arctic frozen tundra Stacey .
Well , given that situation , you might see it escalate into an interpersonal conflict if the spouse finds out .
And as far as the weather in florida is concerned , linton , the air down there is so thick and heavy not most , but all the time and it feels like you're trying to breathe by sucking through a hot , wet sponge , with humidity wrapped around you like a soggy , suffocating blanket .
And let's not forget those howling winds of the frequent hurricanes that sound like a pack of banshees screaming , while the torrential rains hammer down like a horde of angry toddlers who are throwing a tantrum . Should I go on ?
Okay , okay , I get it , I get it Okay . Well , here's a few more examples of intrapersonal conflicts . Emotional ambivalence that's when the client feels two conflicting emotions about something simultaneously like loving their partner but also feeling hostility towards them .
The therapist's role in this situation is to help the client reconcile those mixed emotions and competing priorities . When the client struggles to balance or choose between two options , so , Lyndon , this reminds me of something .
Did you ever watch the show MASH ?
Hey , is the Pope Catholic , Of course . I love that show .
Well , one of my favorite characters after Radar and Sherman Potter is the Pope Catholic . Of course I love that show . Well , one of my favorite characters after Radar and Sherman Potter is the psychiatrist Sidney Freeman , who gets called into the medical army camp to see an Asian American soldier who tried to end his life .
So after working with him for a little bit , sidney figured out that the soldier's suicide attempt was in response to an intense internal battle , his desire to be a loyal American fighting their enemy , versus his discomfort with the idea of fighting people who shared his ethnic background .
So therapy can help clients explore and reconcile these conflicting aspects of their cultural and personal selves .
There's also moral dilemmas . That's when a client faces an ethical situation where there may not be an absolute right choice .
For example , a client who finds out that their husband has been collecting unemployment benefits for years while working a job and being paid under the table , and they're torn between protecting her husband by staying silent and upholding her personal ethics by reporting the fraud .
And while you may have your own opinions about the situation , as a therapist your role is not to tell the client what the right choice is , but to help them explore their own values , priorities and the potential consequences of different courses of action .
Exactly A good place to start when working with clients who has experienced intrapersonal conflict is encouraging self-reflection . Have the client journal or think deeply about what aspects of themselves they are struggling with and any misaligned values . Or use something like cognitive diffusion .
That's an exercise where you help the client distance themselves from the negative thoughts and view them as separate from their core selves . You may encourage the client to label their thoughts , for example , I'm having this thought that whatever or to imagine their thoughts as passing clouds or leaves moving down a stream .
Those are good ones , and clients aren't the only ones who are dealing with intrapersonal conflict . As a therapist , you'll also be confronted with ethical dilemmas , and the exam is going to test your ability to make sound ethical decisions , so make sure that you brush up on your code of ethics .
That's a good point , stacey . To sum it up , intrapersonal conflicts is some sort of inner discord , dilemma or dispute , and generally intrapersonal conflict arise when a person feels that they aren't living according to their own values or being their own aesthetic self .
And this leads to the next level of conflict inter-personal conflict , also called dyadic conflict , and this is where there are disagreements or clashes between two people . For example , your client could be having an interpersonal conflict with a spouse , parent , child , friend , cowork-worker , boss . The possibilities are endless .
And as a therapist , first you must help the client manage their own reactions constructively . Then you address the root issues fueling the interpersonal problems that they're having with another party .
Right . So if the clients don't first develop self-regulation skills , trying to explore those deep-seated issues that are driving their relational difficulties is most likely going to backfire on you . Instead of progress , you're more likely to see some destructive interactions , because the client is still really too emotionally reactive .
So clients may also need help identifying and articulating their own needs before effectively communicating them in a relationship .
Exactly . So what are some specific conflict resolution skills that you might teach clients to use when they're experiencing interpersonal conflict ? Linton .
All right , these are some of those that you will need to know , probably for the exam . Active listening Fully concentrate on what the other person is saying without interpreting , paraphrasing content and feelings back to the person you're in conflict with , which shows that you are listening and understanding . Then there's I statements .
Use statements starting with I when sharing feelings , needs and concerns . Avoid blaming others , which often provokes defensiveness . So , instead of saying you make me feel so frustrated , an I statement would be something like I feel frustrated . When Managing emotions , learn to express anger , hurt or frustration in modulated , constructive ways .
Take a time out to cool down before continuing in a charged discussion . Empathy Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes . Seeing a situation from their perspective builds connection and insight . Even when disagreeing with somebody , questions like can you help me understand why this matters to you can always help and compromising .
Find a middle ground through a give and take , so each person's top priorities gets partially addressed .
I've got an example for that one .
Okay , let's hear it Stacey .
Okay . So you've been working with a married couple whose latest conflict is over how to spend a surprise tax refund they received the wife .
She wants to put the money toward a family vacation because connecting through new experiences is a big priority for her , but the husband feels strongly about using the money to invest in repairs for the house , since maintaining their property is his biggest concern .
So , after actively listening and trying to understand one another's perspectives , they identify their key priorities and areas where they're willing to be a little bit flexible and they agree to a compromise in the following manner they're going to use a portion of the refund for essential house repairs , which addresses the husband's priority .
The remainder is going to go into a vacation fund , which addresses the wife's priority . They're going to cap spending on house repairs at a reasonable amount and , similarly , they're going to start saving incrementally for a vacation within a budget , instead of this elaborate trip that the wife originally envisioned .
And Stacey , when was the last time you had something like that with CJ ?
I couldn't tell you .
Okay , so far we've reviewed intrapersonal conflict , where one person's internal conflicts with themselves , and interpersonal conflict , which is a conflict between two people . Now let's also add a few more people to the mix in intra-group conflict . This refers to conflict that takes place within a group .
It's going to be three or more people and , as a therapist , you may see intra-group conflict emerge in a family or a group situation . In family therapy , the most common type of intra-group conflict you're likely to encounter are blended family challenges , where a family is struggling to merge their families after remarriage , death of a spouse , etc .
Conflicts involve parenting roles , finances and boundaries , and in-law conflicts . Tension may stem from differences in family background values between a person and their in-laws . Common trigger points include parenting boundaries , holidays and family tradition .
And there are also parent-child disagreements , which involve disagreements between parents and children over issues like responsibilities , privileges , boundaries , values , etc . And these often peak during adolescence .
And then , of course , there's sibling rivalries , so competition , jealousy or resentment between siblings over things like parental attention , fairness in treatment , shared resources and having different interests and values . These can persist from childhood right on into adulthood .
Yeah , so Stacey . How did you deal with your civil rivalries with ?
your civil rivalries ? Oh , that's a trick question , linton .
I'm an only child so I've dealt with them quite well . I had more intrapersonal conflict . I get it In adulthood . One of the biggest triggers for sibling rivalry is the death of a parent . At first it's just bickering between siblings like Megan , paul and Donna , who found themselves at odds after inheriting the family home .
Megan wanted to sell it and split the profits evenly with her brothers and sister , but Paul felt personally attached to the house as his childhood home and wanted to continue living there alongside raising his own kids and honoring the late parents' memory . Donna also felt a personal attachment to the home and wondered why Paul thought he would get to live there .
Donna wanted it for her family .
Boy , that's a complicated scenario .
I know they each accused the other of being selfish and disrespectful , unable to see past their own preferences . Their disagreement spread throughout the family and other relatives were also pulled into the conflict .
Ah , the makings of a family feud . Oh gosh yeah . Yeah , it can be a really sticky situation . Oh gosh , yeah , compromise . Be prepared for them to all say no compromise though .
So then you go into identifying points of agreement to help build some goodwill between them , facilitating proposals and counter proposals and , above all , really ensuring that the discussion remains respectful .
If it was me , I think I'd hire myself a good lawyer .
Linton .
What I know for a fact that you were the favorite daughter in your household , stacey , how did you deal with that ?
Well , like I said , I was an only child , but somehow , linton , this is starting to feel like I triggered some unresolved childhood issues with your siblings . How did you get along with your three sisters being the only male child in the family ?
Well , stacey , like I said before , I'd hire myself a good lawyer . Moving on , yes , please . The last level of conflict we'll discuss before we wrap it up is inter-group conflict . This is when two or more groups are involved in a conflict . You'll see this type of conflict more on a social level .
As a therapist , you may be working with a client caught in some intergroup conflict . Like what ?
All right . Well , the first one that springs to mind is conflicts between ethnic and racial groups . For instance , you might work with a Latino client who grew up in the United States and feels caught between two worlds .
At home , the client's family speaks Spanish , maintains traditional cultural practices and emphasizes strong family ties , but at school and at work , the client speaks English , adopts more individualistic values and feels the need to distance themselves from their cultural heritage in order to be accepted and to succeed .
Then there's gender wars that involve disagreements between men's rights and women's rights over issues like domestic violence policies , custody rights and reproductive rights All right , I'll give you an example here . And reproductive rights All right , I'll give you an example here .
Cora , a newly single mother , is seeking therapy to deal with depression and anger that stems from a court ruling against her sexual abuse allegations due to activism-fueled gender biases that were favoring father's custody rights . All right .
Then we've got generational divides , which is where there are value clashes centered on social norms and attitudes between the different generations baby boomers , gen X , millennials and Gen Z .
Here's an example that might resonate with some of our listeners is seeking therapy to cope with an escalating intergenerational conflict with her progressive daughter and son-in-law over some really starkly contrasting parenting styles and her potentially losing access to her grandchildren , who she really loves and cares for . And then we've got Republicans versus Democrats .
That always seems to be a huge dividing point .
¶ Conflict Resolution Levels & Political Affiliation
So what do you do when a client asks you if you're a Democrat or a Republican ?
Linton , Well , let's see I easily pause . Then I look them straight in the eye and tell them I'm an independent . So why are you interested in my political affiliation ?
Ah , so you turn it into a learning opportunity , I see .
Exactly , you've got it . Now to sum up the important aspects of conflict resolution , there are four levels of conflict you'll see as a therapist Intrapersonal , interpersonal , intragroup and intergroup . Intrapersonal conflicts involve internal discord within oneself , like cognitive dissidence , competing priorities , emotional ambivalence and moral dilemmas .
So if you see any of those words , you know that you're dealing with intrapersonal conflict . Interpersonal conflict involves disagreements or clashes between two people , such as you , using I statements , managing emotions , encouraging empathy and compromising . Intra-group conflicts happens when a group of three or more people like a family .
Common issues involved blended families , in-laws , parents , children and multiple siblings . And there's inter-group conflict happens between groups in society based on demographic identities such as race , gender , age , etc .
All right . Well , that wraps up today's episode . As always , as you're studying , remember it's in there .