Hello to all of our amazing and dedicated therapists out there and welcome back to another episode of our Licensure Exams podcast . I'm Stacey and this is my co-host .
Hi everybody , I'm Dr Hutchinson , and today is part of our Counseling Micro Skills series , where we're going to talk about different skills that a therapist such as yourself use and how to put them in the practice and how they are used in the licensing exam .
And today we're cracking open that contentious can of worms called confrontation . So let's wiggle into what it is , when to use it and how to do it without causing a therapy room brawl with your client .
That's right , stacey . Now I don't know about you , stacey , but when I hear the word confrontation , I picture two people in an intense argument and getting ready to throw down . But that's not quite what we're talking about today here .
Perfectly put Linton . So therapeutic confrontation is more about gently knocking on the door of your client's discrepancies and contradictions .
Exactly . Confrontation is used as a way to help clients identify and address discrepancies and contradictions in their thoughts , emotions and behaviors . To illustrate , let's go ahead and go through a couple of those . Okay , Stacey .
Absolutely so . First imagine that you've got a client who puffs away like a chimney . In fact , they're trying to smoke in your office , but they insist that they're the epitome of health . A therapist might interject and say something like I hear you saying you're healthy as a horse , but I've also heard you tell me that you smoke a couple of packs a day .
These two statements seem to contradict each other . Can you help to clear the smoke ?
Right ? Well , that's a great example , Stacey . You're providing the client with the contradiction between what they're saying and what they're doing in an effort to provoke self-reflection that might just lead to positive changes .
Mm-hmm , Yep , exactly . So let's look at another example . Suppose you've got a client who's consistently putting themselves down , despite being highly competent as a therapist . You might say I'm hearing that you're talking about your shortcomings , but from what you've told me , I can see that you have plenty of impressive skills and accomplishments .
Can you help me to understand the discrepancy between these two very different perspectives ?
That's a good one , because with that , you're opening up a conversation for the client to explore why they are devaluing themselves , rather than starting some kind of fight with them . It's important to remember that confrontation as a therapeutic technique needs to be executed very carefully .
Yes , it should feel more like a collaboration , exploration , rather than an accusation .
Right , and the steps to this delicate dance are number one state facts or observations without judgment . Number two use inquisitive language , so you're curious . And three , use I statements instead of you statements .
Right Now . There's an effective way to use confrontation and there's a not so right effective way to use confrontation . Let's look at Sue , who says she wants to reach her goals , but when presented with any challenge that requires effort on her part at all , she gets overwhelmed and just totally gives up .
You might say here's the deal , sue you say that you want to reach your goals , but then , when it's time for action , you don't even bother trying . How can you expect to make any progress when you're not making any effort ? What's up with ?
that Well , that's not what you want to hear your therapist say , Because they're like Linton , you just hit Sue with a verbal sledgehammer . I wouldn't be surprised if she broke down crying , just sat there and stunned silence , or if she got really angry and started yelling at you , none of which are productive .
Whoopsies . Accusations or being judgmental tend to trigger defense mechanisms rather than open dialogue . So let's reroute that conversation . Shall we Stacy ?
Agreed , so what would you say is a more productive way of framing the issue .
How about this ? I'm noticing that you've been expressing a desire to change your habits , yet they remain the same . Could you tell me more about that ? What's been standing in your way ? Do you see how that reframes the conversation ?
Yes , I do see what you did there . So an I statement , a neutral observation and an invitation pursued to expand on her experience . It's very nice , linton , very nice . Now let's talk about some of the pros and cons of using confrontation .
One major pro is that it promotes self-awareness , so confrontation can help clients identify blind spots in their self-perception and behaviors , which can foster growth and change .
Right . The power of language never ceases to amaze me . Just a few tweaks here and there will make such a big difference in your relationship with your client . Now , confrontation is not all unicorns , rainbows and Barbies . It promotes self-awareness , yes , but it can also stir discomfort and defensiveness in any client .
Exactly , linton . So confrontation requires a trusting therapist-client relationship , and if the client starts to appear distressed if you're getting that sense then it's time to press the pause button and offer some reassurance and validation .
Definitely , and giving the client some reassurance and validation can help them feel more relaxed , and if they're more relaxed , they will be more open to feedback .
That is a great tip . So can you summarize what we've talked about in a nutshell ?
Sure sure . The purpose of using confrontation in therapy is to help clients increase self-awareness , promote personal growth and stimulate change . They can encourage clients to examine their own thoughts and behaviors more critically and see if they align with their personal goals and values .
Confrontation should be used sparingly and with sensitivity , as it sometimes leads the clients to feel defensive if not approached correctly . There are a few methods you can use to execute confrontation effectively by using I statements , using your observations in a non-judgmental manner and inviting the client to explore the issues with you .
Exactly . Thank you very much , and that is our take on the use of confrontation in therapy . Join us next time as we explore more counseling skills that you need to know about as you prepare for your exam . Until then , remember it's in there .