Guess what will?
What's that?
Mango? So have you seen this trailer for the movie Tag. It's about these brothers who play an epic game of tag. I think John Ham's in it, and maybe Ed Helms.
Yeah, I was gonna say. I saw Ed Helms was in it. I saw a couple of articles about it.
It looks pretty funny, and actually I saw it's based on a real story, right.
Yeah, So when I heard that, I was actually a little confused because I'd heard this other great story about brothers playing tag and this from a while back. So this guy, Richard Mellon was actually like a captain of industry, I want to say. He came from Pittsburgh and he and his younger brother Andrew had this game of tag that they'd play, and apparently the game lasted for seven decades.
It's nuts. But but here's the craziest part, right, So, when Richard was on his deathbed, he summoned his brother Andrew over to him, and he pulled him close and then he just whispered into his ear last Tag and then he died.
Oh I love that.
It's such like a just kind of like a big brother thing to do. But so were those actually his last words.
Yeah, and apparently Andrew had to stay it for four more years until he passed away. But that story made me think we should do today's nine Things about epic last words. Let's dive in.
Hey, their podcast listeners, Welcome to Part Time Genius. I'm Will Pearson and as always I'm joined by my good friend Manges Shot Ticketer and behind the soundproof glass just chugging this big jug of V eight as he works from there.
I feel like he thinks, if he drinks enough V eight, he's just never gonna have to think about his last words.
Well, you just never know. I mean, he's a really smart guy. But that's our friend and producer Tristan McNeil. All right, Mango, So I know last words are a little bit of a morbid topic, but I still find them pretty fascinating.
I just can't help it.
And I know John Green when he used to work at Mental Flaws, he was completely obsessed with these.
Yeah, I remember showing us like pages of this, and a lot of that found its way into Looking for Alaska. But uh, one of the things I remember it was like that was the first time I heard that Dylan Thomas quote about eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record which were his last words, horrible last words, and also Henry Ward Beacher's one about uh now comes the Mystery, which is way more poetic.
You know, I think the part of what's so great about last words is when somebody who already consider a genius says something funny or just meaningful, or even exactly is the character you want them to be.
There's something so satisfying about that.
No, I definitely agree. So I kicked this off with the tag story, But I'm curious, what's your first last word gonna be? All right?
Well, I think I'm going to kick this off with a smart alec who didn't disappoint, and that's Voltaire. Now, I know you and I have plenty of great facts about Voltaire.
I know that pull up line.
Yeah, I got so many Voltaire effects up in here. But anyway, you know, there was the one that he was pinpals with Catherine the Great, or that he supposedly drank forty cups of coffee a day. They may have been tiny cups, but still it's pretty impressive.
I know. And supposedly he was such a fiend for coffee. That he actually imported these luxury beans because he couldn't just drink plain coffee.
Really, I actually didn't know that about the luxury beans. Well, my favorite story about Voltaire is what he told his priest on his deathbed. And as the story goes, the priest knew Voltaire was close to death, so he was encouraging him to use his last words to secure his place in heaven, just kind of pressing him on it
over and over to renounce Satan. And you know, of course, Voltaire, being a legendary smart Alec just says to him, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies, and then he passed away.
That's pretty great. So here's a weird one i'd heard that I just thought was an urban legend. But did you know that the Nike slogan just Do It is based on a phrase from death Row. No, seriously, Yeah, it's so grim. But apparently, you know Dan Widen, he's like from that legendary ad firm Widen and Kennedy. He was trying to come up with some sort of slogan to tie all of Nike's advertisements together. And this is
a totally separate and weird thing. I actually read that Phil Knight, the CEO of Nike, thought TV advertising was like a mistake for the brand and just a big waste of time. And Widen actually had to really convince him to do it, and he needed to convince him
to trust them and whatever. But anyway, he was trying to figure a way to tie all these ads together, and he remembered the last words of this murderer from Portland, this guy named Gary Gilmour, who in the late seventies was put in front of a firing squad and before they shot, he just shouted, let's do it. And wow, I guess Widen edited out the phrase lets and inserted to just And that's how just do it came to be.
That's so strange.
It's also so strange to imagine in the seventies firing squad. I know, just such a bizarre thing.
But I don't know.
What's weirder is that I'd actually written down the story of Nike as a last word, and so I think I'm going to use that one next. So the reason we run marathons, or that people run marathons, is to honor a messenger from four to nine DBC. And we've
heard this story before, but it's still pretty fascinating. But according to the myth, he raced from the city of Marathon to Athens after the Athenian army had won a battle, and supposedly it was incredibly hot that day and he raised the twenty six miles between the cities, and when he got there he uttered that one glorious word for victory, Nike, and then he passed out.
Yeah, and now the goddess has a shoe company named for her, which is great.
So yeah, it's all worth it.
So one thing I love about last words, and I feel like I couldn't find enough of this was people using their deathbed as a soapbox to really complain about someone they detested.
I kind of like Festivus, you know, the airing of grievances exactly.
So these are like words that are worthy of Frank Constanzas. And so this one is actually one that Chris Higgins, our friend, found on Mental Floss, and I just love it. So apparently there was this pickpocket named Thomas B. Moran who was nicknamed Butterfingers. I'd never heard this story before, but you know, you think of butterfingers as someone who drops balls in the outfield and not someone who's like
a silky smooth pickpocket. But by all accounts Moran was, and he had stolen over fifty thousand wallets over the course of his career. Right amazing. But these are his last words quote, I've never forgiven that smart Alexi reporter who named me butterfingers to me, it's not funny. And then he died.
He'd really been wrong and feels so sorry for the guy. I know, but I know it was probably a relief that he finally got to admit that. But all right, well here's what I really liked, because it kind of shows someone's true spirit. So Marie Antoinette obviously got a bad rap for the whole let them have cake comment, which of course she didn't even say. But you know that public perception of her was clearly as this out
of touch royal who didn't really care for others. But you know what, you look at her last words, it kind of paints a different picture. So as she was walking to the guillotine, she accidentally steps on the executioner's foot, so her last words supposedly were, pardon me, sir, I meant not to do it.
Huh.
So that actually makes me like her a lot more like when you're on your way to be executed, you normally have like tons of things on your mind. But I like that she decided to use her manners and was considerate of others. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, so we've got a couple more of these before we settle on a winter but let's do those after a quick break.
Welcome back to Part Time Genius, where we're talking about famous last words, and we got a couple more stories to tell, Mango, so you know what's funny.
And I realized this is a little off topic, but every time I hear the phrase famous last words, I think about my study of broad trip in college. So before I went, like the group had sent out this packing list of supplies he should have and part of our trip was at the foothills of Everest essentially, so it was through Nepal and Tibet, but there were these
places and elevations that were really really cold. So my mom took me to this Army Navy surplus store to get like a really good sleeping bag and some of the other things, and the shop was totally empty, like everything was dusty, and they had a lot of these goods just stacked up, and it seemed like people hadn't really gone there in a while. And the shop keep he just seemed like this grizzled old veteran. But I think he spotted my mom and realized there was a
sale to be made here. So, like every time my mom took out this list and she'd look at it and she'd say things like it says two pairs of extra thick socks, he just looked at her and he'd say famous last words, just like grumble it to her, and then she'd be like, three pairs this, three pairs, right, four pairs, We'll take six pairs like everything. I feel like by the end of this trip we had this station wagon full of things we didn't need. It was crazy.
I oh picture that, But that's pretty great. Well, speaking of famous last words, what are you going to use is.
Your last last words of the day?
So initially I was thinking it aim for something funny, right, because there are tons of those. There's a Groucho Marx who said this is no way to live, or Richard Feynman, who you know is that physicist who said this dying is boring. But I'm actually gonna go with something a little bit sweeter. And this is Arthur Conan Doyle, who
you know, we know from Sherlock Holmes stories. And he was in his garden, which I imagine is this beautiful English garden, and just before he died, he clutched his chest, turned to his wife and said, you are wonderful, and then he passed away.
Oh wow, that sweet and romantic.
But actually, Mango, I feel like I may have one even better for you.
And he's come from Harriet Tubman.
Oh no, the Harriet Tubman card. So I feel like we've done lots of stories about Harriet Tubman over the years, but I actually know nothing about her death.
Yeah.
So sadly she died of pneumonia, and there are a few accounts of how she left. There's there's one that said, you know, she told some clergyman, give my love to all the churches, and then she quoted a biblical passage and that passage was I go away to prepare a place for you. But I think the version I like more is that after she made her statement, her family, you know, kind of sensing that the end was near,
they gathered around her and sang together. So The last words of hers were actually, swing low, sweet chariot.
That's really lovely. I think you've got to take this round. That's it for today's nine Things. We're going to be back tomorrow with a full length episode, but thank you so much for listening.