9 Last Words worth Remembering

playing Tag and this from a while back. So this guy, Richard Mellon was actually like a captain of industry. I wanted to say. He came from Pittsburgh and he and his younger brother Andrew had this game of Tag that they'd play, and apparently the game lasted for seven decades. It's not nuts. But here's the craziest part, right, So when Richard was on his deathbed, he summoned his brother Andrew over to him, and he pulled him close and then he just whispered into his ear last Tag and

then he died. Oh I love that. It's such like a just kind of like a big brother thing to do. But were those actually his last words? Yeah, and apparently Andrew had to stay it for four more years, is until he passed away. But that that story made me think we should do today's nine Things about epic last words. Let's dive in. Hey, their podcast listeners, welcome to Part

Time Genius. I'm Will Pearson and as always I'm joined by my good friend man guest shot Ticketer and behind the soundproof glass just chugging this big jug of V eight as he works from my I I feel like he thinks, if he drinks enough VA, he's just never gonna have to think about his last words. Well, you just never know. I mean, he's a really smart guy. But that's our friend and producer Tristan McNeil. All right, mango.

So I know last words are a little bit of a morbid topic, but I still find them pretty fascinating. I just can't help it. And I know John Green when he used to work at Mental Flaws, he was completely obsessed with these. Yeah, I remember showing those like pages of this and uh, a lot of that found

its way into Looking for Alaska. But uh, one of the things I remember was like that was the first time I heard that Dylan Thomas quote about eighteen straight Whiskey's I think that's the record, which were his last words, horrible last words, and also Henry Ward Beecher's one about

now Comes the Mystery, which is way more poetic. You know, I think the part of what's so great about last words is when somebody you already consider a genius says something funny or just meaningful, or even exactly as the character you want them to be. There's something so satisfying about that. No, I definitely agree. So I kicked this off with the tag story, but I'm curious, what's your first last word going to be? All right, well, I think I'm going to kick this off with a smart

alec who didn't disappoint, and that's Bold Tair. Now, I know you and I have plenty of great facts about bull Tair. I know that's yeah. I got so many Voltaire facts up in here, but any why you know, there was the one that he was pen pals with Catherine the Great and then he supposedly drank forty cups of coffee a day. They may have been tiny cups, but still it's pretty impressive, I know. And and supposedly he was such a fiend for coffee that he actually

imported these luxury beans because he couldn't just drink plain coffee. Really, I actually didn't know that about the luxury beans. Well, my favorite story about Voltaire is what he told his priest on his deathbed. And as the story goes, the priest new Voltaire was close to death, so he was encouraging him to use his last words to secure his place in heaven, just kind of pressing him on it

over and over to renounce Satan. And you know, of course Voltaire, being a legendary smart Alec just says to him, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies, and then he passed away. That's pretty great. So here's a weird one. I'd heard that I just thought was an urban legend. But did you know that the Nike slogan just Do It is based on a phrase from death Row. No, seriously, Yeah, it's so grim. But apparently, you know Dan Widen, he's like from that legendary ad

firm Widening Kennedy. He was he was trying to come up with some sort of slogan to tie all of Nike's advertisements together. And this is a totally separate and weird thing. I actually read that um Phil Knight, the CEO of Nike, thought TV advertising was like a mistake for the brand and just a big waste of time. And widen't actually had to really convince him to do it, and you need to convince him to trust them and whatever.

But anyway, he was trying to figure a way to tie all these ads together, and he remembered the last words of this murderer from Portland, this guy named Gary Gilmore, who in the late seventies was put in front of a firing squad and before they shot, he just shouted, let's do it. And I guess Widen edited out the phrase let's and insort of justin That's how just do it came to be. That's so strange. It's also so strange to imagine in the seventies firing squad. I know,

a bizarre thing, but I don't know. What's weirder is that I had actually written down the story of Nike as a last word, and so I think I'm gonna use that one next. So the reason we run marathons, or that people run marathons, is to honor a messenger from four and im DBC and we've heard this story before,

but it's still pretty fascinating. But according to the myth, he raised from the city of Marathon to Athens after the Athenian army had won a battle, and supposedly it was incredibly hot that day and he raised the twenty six miles between the cities, and when he got there he uttered that one glorious word for victory, Nike, and then he passed out. Yeah, and now the goddess has a shoe company name for which is great, so all

worth it. So one thing I love about last words, and I feel like I couldn't find enough of this was people using their deathbed as a soapbox to really complain about someone they detested, kind of like festivals, you know, the airing of grievances exactly. So these are like words that are worthy of Frank Constanzas and uh and so this one is actually one that Chris Higgins, our friend, found on Mental Floss and I just love it. So apparently there was this pickpocket named Thomas B. Moran who

was nicknamed Butterfingers. I've never heard this story before, but uh, you know, you think of Butterfingers as someone who drops balls in the outfield and not someone who's like a silky smooth pickpocket. But by all accounts, Moran was, and he had stolen over fifty thousand wallets over the course of his career. Right, that's amazing. But these are his last words quote I've never forgiven that smart alecky reporter

who named me butterfingers to me, it's not funny. And then he died he'd really been wrong and feels so sorry for the guy. But I know it was probably a relief that he finally got to admit that. But all right, well here's what I really liked, because it kind of shows someone's true spirit. So Marie Antoinette obviously got a bad rap for the whole let them have

cake comment, which of course she didn't even say. But you know that public perception of her was clearly as this out of touch royal who didn't really care for others. But you know, when you look at her last words, it kind of paints a different picture. So as she was walking to the guillotine, she accidentally steps on the executioner's foot, so her last words supposedly were pardon me, sir,

I meant not to do it. Huh, So that actually makes me like her a lot more like when you're on your way to be executed, you normally have like tons of things on your mind. But I like that she decided to use her manners and was considered of others. Yeah, anyway, so we've got a couple more of these before we settle on a winner. But let's do those after a

quick break. Welcome back to Part Time Genius, where we're talking about famous last words, and we've got a couple more stories to tell, Mango, So you know what's funny. And I realized this is a little off topic, but every time I hear the phrase famous last words, I

think about my study abroad trip in college. So before I went, like the group had sent out this packing list of supplies you should have, and part of our trip was at the foothills of Everest essentially, so it was through Nepal and Tibet, but there were these places

and elevations that were really really cold. So my mom took me to this Army Navy surplus store to get like a really good sleeping bag and some of the other things, and the shop was totally empty, like everything was dusty, and they had a lot of these goods just stacked up, and it seemed like people hadn't really gone there in a while. And the shop keep he just seemed like this grizzled old veteran. But I think he spotted my mom and realized there was a sale

to be made here. So like every time my mom took out this list and she'd look at it and she'd say things like it says two pairs of extra thick socks, he just looked at her and he'd say famous last words, just like grumble it to her, and then she'd be like, three pairs, the three pairs, write four pairs. We'll take six pairs. Like I feel like by the end of this trip we had this station wagon full of things we didn't need. It was crazy.

I can so picture that. But that's pretty great. Well, speaking of famous last words, what are you going to use is your last last words of the day? So initially I was thinking I'd aim for something funny, right, because there are tons of those. There's a Groucho Marx who said this is no way to live, or Richard Feynman, who you know is that physicist who said this dying is boring, but I'm actually gonna go with something a little bit sweeter. And this is Arthur Conan Doyle, who

you know, we know from Sherlock Holmes stories. And he was in his garden, which I imagine is this beautiful English garden, and just before he died, he clutched his chest, turned to his wife and said, you are wonderful, and then he passed away. Oh wow, that's sweet and romantic. But actually, Mango, I feel like I may have one even better for you. And he's come from Harriet Tubman. Oh no, the Harriet Tubman card. So I feel like we've done lots of stories about Harriet Tubman over the years,

but I actually know nothing about her death. Yeah. So sadly she died of pneumonia, and there are a few accounts of how she left. There's there's one that said, you know, she told some clergyman, give my love to all the churches, and then she quoted a biblical passage and that passage was I go away to prepare a

place for you. But I think the version I like more is that after she made her statement, her family, you know, kind of sensing that the end was near, they gathered around her and sang together, so the last words of hers were actually swing low, sweet chariot, that's really lovely. I think you've got to take this round. That's it for today's nine Things. We're gonna be back tomorrow with a full length episode, but thank you so much for listening.