Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow.
And I'm Catherine Hileco.
Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find of the week.
As you might remember, our library is currently closed because we're in the process of moving for the third time, the second time since I've been employed there. But so in order to keep us occupied and paid during this point, during this transition time when we cannot be in the physical building, we have some work at home projects that we are doing, and one of them is it's we
call it the obituary project. So our library has a genealogy and local history librarian, and it has a database of obituaries and other death notices and information that it
is creating and keeping and maintaining. So part of the process is that we are assigned a month and year and we use a tool called newspapers dot Com, and we go and look at our local newspaper from that month, and we look through all every page and look for anything that says an obituary, a death notice, you know so and so died whatever, and we plug the as much information as we can glean into this database. So
two things. One is if you are interested in genealogy or family history, or just even the history of your home or your community, newspapers. Dot com is a cool resource which I think I'm pretty sure it you have to pay to have a subscription, but your local library will most likely have a subscription that you can access. And it's a lot easier to read than microfilm, which I have not tried to use for many, many years.
Especially remember microfilm.
Yeah, it's not it's not fun.
This is like it though there was something so visceral about it.
Yeah, this is like basically, you know, just JPEGs of these pages of this newspaper. And as in the course of looking for obituaries, you really like I've been reading my assignments currently have been like nineteen oh four, nineteen oh three, nineteen hundred and so there's not an obituary section. There's not. Everything is completely just random international news, national news,
local news, completely fictional things, advertisements. It's all just like thrown on the page and you just have to kind of pick through it. But you get a lot of really entertaining things. In addition, to the ads, which are fun, but I periodically just clip things because they're so fun. For example, the headline. This headline grabbed me as I think it would you Panama hats still missing subtitle or subheading. Six young men lost their much valued hats at dance
Friday night. Oh and then there is a like five hundred words about these hats and how they were lost at this dance. The panamas in question were of the fifteen or twenty dollars rock variety, some of them more than that, treasured by their owners as the apple of their eye or eyes question mark, the sole barrier between themselves and sunstroke. Goes on to, you know, describe the whole situation that they put their hats on the top of this piano while they were dancing, and then they
went back and they were gone, oh madly. They searched through the crowd in the hall on the veranda about the pier and the beach, but the hats had vanished as completely as though the lake had swallowed them.
It was a lot more fun to be a newspaper writer back there, right, yeah.
Yeah. The Young Sextet returned with the breezes blowing unrestrained through their tresses. They had no hats.
It is just lovely.
So that was a fun And then the other one I'm going to just.
Give a shout out to it is there is there a writer for that?
Oh no, no, no, no, nobody gets credit, no no bolence.
That was lovely whoever. That was a tip of the stolen at.
Exactly to your memory, to your memory from July twenty fifth, nineteen oh four. The other one this is this is also from the editors, uncredited. And on the other way, the announcement yesterday of the engagement of Joseph E. Zickler and miss Edith Heinz was an error. Some person short on sense sent the information on a postal card, forging there too the signature of mister Joseph e. Zickler, the
alleged party to the engagement. This postal card has been turned over to the postal authorities, and the idiotic joker, if discovered, will receive the proper penalty for misusing the mails and forgery.
Are we sure it wasn't the prospective bride?
They are very salty about this. Persons who attempt to use the Crescent that's the newspaper as the vehicle of such full proceedings will be dealt with without mercy, So don't try this again, Oh dear, be dealt with without mercy.
So yeah, he reminds me of I've probably mentioned this before the uh my son's buddy who was not online but suddenly had a Facebook page that seemed to exist mostly to send love notes to this girl who liked him. So you know, sometimes I imagine the editors of the Crescent would have been quite cross with her.
Yes, for doing such a thing. Yeah, maybe it was miss edith Heintz, who I.
Kind of wonder put it in the paper.
Right, he'll finally have.
I'm just going to skip over the proposal part and.
Yeah, right, just right in there. But apparently mister Zickler was not not swayed by this, because he immediately went to complain to the paper.
Or possibly his parents if they do not like Yes, it sounds like more likely it might be the parents that are upset, But depending on how the youth of these people, Yes, they're both well into adulthood I suppose. Still, it seems like you could write an entire soap opera episode about that.
Yes, comedy one of the two. So if you if you are looking for similar amusements. I recommend newspapers dot com.
That is delightful.
You can browse through papers. You know, you could go and find your own birth announcement. One of my coworkers actually accidentally ran into her great grandparents' wedding announcement, which was factual. They actually got married. So yeah, it's uh, it's pretty cool. It's fun nice.
That is so if you don't care for the news of the current day, right, go back, just.
To rewind at one hundred or so years.
Yeah, and when the worst thing that could happen to you is your hat was.
Stolen, Yes, exactly, that's.
Bad enough to get in the paper.
Pretty well, they're much valued hats.
They're much valued hats.
So let's hear. Let's hear what you're recommending.
You've got. Usually you recommendable book and I talk about something else. Today you talk about something else, and I'm recommending books. Over the holiday, I went on vacation with my family, and while they ran around doing fun things, I laid on the couch with AirPods in my ears, finishing some books on Audible that I had been working on, especially A Gentleman in Moscow, which is like twenty some hours.
I mean, it's like a lot. And I finally had time to just sit and listen to it relatively uninterrupted. This is the kind of vacation person I am.
Go have fun.
Everybody here, WA's the room. You know, we're all sitting in this chair on the lobby. You guys go play bango.
Right.
So, but I, as I knew I would, and as I think I may have mentioned, I was in the process of I really enjoyed it. It's really good. You're right, it was really good. I'm very, very glad. I listened to it with a lovely narrator with a British accent, just narrating it just so. It was interesting though in reading it to see where they kind of judged stuff up. It's like, oh this is where this thing, Oh well it doesn't quite happen, Like yeah, okay, Well it was
much calmer. There was much less, much less drama, but still just a really good book and if you enjoy audiobooks, a really pleasant telling of it on Audible. And I also managed to fit in a much shorter work called Welcome to Pawnee by Jim O'Hare who played Jerry, and I thought it was going to be mostly a book about parks and rec and it is, but it's also kind of a biographical book about him, about which, gotta be honest, I'm less interested, but you know, he wrote
the book, so what are you gonna do? I enjoyed it. It was interesting. I don't know that I learned anything I hadn't heard before. But I love the show. I always like, you know, hearing about various different things that happen,
and what all the weird thing about it? And I had the same issue with the book I read that was by Judy Dench, but not read by Judy Dench, by somebody pretending to be Judy Dench, is that in writing this book he got contributions from most of the actors and from a lot of the production people who you know, Hell, there's a narration and then there's a quote from so and so, and I guess I don't know what the deal is with audio books, if you never get the person, or if these people just have
much enough stuff to do that they don't want to read their little contributions to the book. But it's actors reading things by these people whose voices I am very familiar, and it was just weird. Yeah, it just took me right out of it every time. Whoever did Mike Shore If that was not Mike Shore, sure did a good job of it in imitating him, as I'm quite familiar
with Mike Schure's voice from the poscast. Yeah, really did sound like him, So kudos if that was somebody else, But some of the other ones, I know what Chris Bratt sounds like, and you are not Chris Brat, or are you Adam Scott? Nor are you Retta? Nor are you There were no quotes by Amy Poehler, interestingly, pretty much everything. Maybe one by Robb Loo I'm not sure, but so that was just that was just a fault of listening it in audible as an audio book, reading
it on the page. It would have been just delightful to see all these quotes written by these people. But listening to them does not work right. You know, trap your friends in the sound stage and make them read their stupid things.
I mean, how along will it whatever really take?
But probably they. I mean, if you're a professional performer, you wish to be compensated for your time. Yeah, to record your voice on something that's going to make other people money so I think it's just with the j Judy Dench. I think she maybe was just when they did actually have her voice later on, she was so much older sounding that might have been a problem for her to read the whole book. But anyway, so that
was I will give you that. I would say, if you're going to read it, get the hard copy and just read itways on the page. It will be so much because you can then say it in those people's voices.
Right, you can hear it in the way you wish to hear it.
Yeah. So I am now starting a book called Everybody Behaves Badly by Leslie M. M Bloom, and it is about Hemingway and the writing of the Sun Also Rises and sort of the launching of his career. And so far I've read, uh, you know, an hour or so of it and found it very enjoyable. And also it crosses off my English major requirement for the year. Right, Okay, you can you can listen to the book about the TV show, but you got to listen to something literary.
So this is okay, I'm gonna learn about learn more about Hemingway. I read The Sun Also Rises Sometime way bad, Right, I read stuff like that. Yes, so it'll be so far. I'm finding it very enjoyable, and it's going to be all about historical bad behavior, sort of like you can get at newspapers dot com.
Yeah, we come around. I wonder if Hemingway ever wore a Panama hat. I bet he did.
If so, I bet he held on to it. And you know, did anybody ever ever say they were married? Well, he's married in this part of the book, so yeah.
He was married quite a few times, I think, but.
He undoubtedly had things said about him in the newspapers with which he would wish to quarrel.
So, yes, that is true.
It's all the same nice And now we move on to an archive that appears to be book related.
It is. Yes, well, so five years ago we took a look at the best selling parenting books on Amazon, and they also have a list of most wished for, which I think is like put on a wish list.
I guess, I guess.
So we took a look at them back then, and you know, did our usual complaints about them, And so I thought, hey, let's see five years later, things have changed. Of course, not really, there's still a potty training book in the top five the top five. The number one best selling is something called Atomic Habits, which is not a parenting book at all.
Like maybeook I read that book?
Is it about parenting?
It's not right, it's about about you know. Honestly, I still get like emails from the author of it. I signed up for his suggestions on how to get things done. But I mean, creating good habits for yourself as a parent is a good thing, and sure instilling good habits in your kids. So that may be. It may be the same impulse that causes me to invest in a complete new planning and data state system every year, and
you know, a habit tracker and all that stuff. You buy the book Atomic Habits and you think this is it. This is a ship shape. I'm going to get everything organized, all.
The things in, all the people are going to get taken care of by this book, right yep. Yeah, So that's that's at the top. Then the next one is Anxious Generation, which I will not be reading things anyway, I don't need to add and hate. Yes, it's all about how basically technology is making children anxious and yeah, you know, stop it with the screens like to em not going to read it.
Maybe you'll read it on Kindle? Can you get it on a screen?
Can I listen to it as an audio book?
We welst ice roll social media exactly.
So that's number two. Then the classic What to Expect when You're Expecting, which we talked about five years ago.
We did told and told. Was it Nicole that you could need a whole bagel? No?
That was me, that was you.
Yeah, so you have let just like put that in the dustbin for eternity for a.
Yeah, I mean this was twenty three years ago, but still I'm still mad.
Obviously I have never had any reason to purchase or even look at that book because I was expecting in a whole different way.
Yes, you certainly probably.
Have an adoption version of that, but even then, adoption has so many different permutations that you can't.
Yeah, well, and they have what to expect the first year, I think they probably have like toddler and preschooler. But yeah, you're you're fine, but you don't need to go there.
So then the the last Stanley green Span was my grop right for those years.
The other book that does sound like a parenting book is The Whole Brainchild twelve Revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind by an MD and a PhD.
So okay, sounds well, then MD and a PhD. Well, this is it more question.
This is the definitive answer.
Because fortunately all kids are exactly the same and they develop in exactly the same ways and exactly the same timetables. So all you have to do is do what these experts tell you and poof perfect case.
Yes, I will say it is kind of cool. I don't think they were doing this five years ago on Amazon that if you scroll down you can see passages that people have highlighted in their kindle, like that's it.
Boy, do we know when we highlight things on our kindle that they're going to go on the ams, go on.
The Amazon page? Children are Children are much more apt to share and talk while building something or writing in the car than when you sit down and look them in the face. That is a known fact.
Yes, that is something that we can figure out by ourselves.
Yes, but that is something that has been highlighted just so you know. Soting and then the.
Five star reviews.
People are loving it, people like it.
The people for whom it is not working don't have time to write reviews on.
It because they're not going to be going there.
Busy chasing children around the room.
It's only one hundred and ninety two pages.
That's that's pretty how many hours on autible? Let's see, I don't care. I'm not gonna listen. I've done this so.
Six hours and fourteen minutes. See sure sure.
Not g it right off? How can it be if it's only success frequently? Lot together raising? Along with this book is Raising Good Humans a mindful guide to breaking the cycle of reactive I would have to collick the link to get the last word, Tom, who I don't care? They lost you with a mindful.
Mindful guide, like I don't want to be mindful? What are you talking about? I'm to see my hands.
Yeah, okay, breaking the cycle of reactive parenting and raising kind confident kids. See it's so easy that you can learn how to do that in a book, right, because you just need to press the right buttons and poof, there you go, kind confident kids who wouldn't want no drama, discipline the whole brain way to calm the chaos and nurture your child's developing mind.
There we go.
Oh, people, people, people, Anybody who's listening to this podcast for any length of time knows what we say about parenting books except the ones that we we write, which you should probably just run and get right away. But other than that, every parent is different, every child is different, every circumstances different, every little brain is different. There's no
one good way. So, as I said the last time, the solution is to read a whole bunch of this crap and then pick out the one tiny thing that makes sense to you from each one exactly, and then develop your own system, and then write a book.
Then write a book.
I have still here in my office, my little parenting library, bristling with little little stickers that I put on the pages that I found useful, so I would be like, where was that thing? Somebody said this.
Situation in here somewhere?
I think if I opened any of these books everything would fall out, but I can still see them. Golly well.
It's interesting that the wished for books are the same basically, except what to expect when you're expecting is not wished for.
So mothers in law are giving.
Somebody's buying it for these people. Yes, and the and the potty training one is not wished for as well. People are like, no, I'll just figure it out when the time comes. But the time on them the two there's two on baby signs, you know, like how to teach your baby sign language that. Oh wow, those are showing up and he wished for a section.
Okay, but you know your mother in law is not going to get you that. We didn't. I don't know you would want them to do that. Teach them to talk to talk, yes, exactly here, body trained them. Use this book. I got it for you anyway. Yes, it shouldn't be a diaper. You're babying them, infantilizing. I said, that was what I was told. I was infanti by not using suppositories to force him.
No, oh my.
Gosh, I said, very This was a a school occupational therapist. And I said, not going to do that. He'll be ready when he's ready. And in fact, he was, this is why we don't need these books, because your kid's gonna be ready when they're ready, and they're gonna do what they're gonna do when they're gonna do what they're gonna do.
And uh, you know, yes, that's like the dentist telling me to telling me to stop my kid from sucking her thumb when I had just had a baby. I'm like, I will not be doing that. I'm just trying to get through the night.
You can write a book about bad parenting advice right from professionals. That's right. Oh. The teacher told me that I must take the keys away from my son, that keys were deaf to him. It's like, my god, it is the only thing. It is the thing that got him to talk because he wanted to ask people questions about keys. All right, just stay with us, stick with it.
Yeah yeah, I mean, thank goodness for our family.
Want them to do things with them, right, I give that away.
Yeah. Yeah. Our family doctor when I was like, and then they told me you can't suck her with them anymore, And he was like, when you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Basically, when you're the dentist, you only care about their mouth. Yes, So thank goodness that he was reasonable.
Yeah, but even if he wasn't, still at her sucker thomb. Oh yeah, it's like at some point you know.
Also, you know, the Orizondonnis got quite a lot of business, so it wasn't the dentist.
It was the ordonn just handing up pamphlets, pamphlets. Let your child set their thumb until high school.
It's fine, It's really fine.
It's no problem. We can fix it. Yes, good, oh man, so much bad advice.
I don't remember. Have I told the story of one of my children, who shall remain nameless, was.
Be very careful not to give a gender.
I know was occasionally having accidents at in kindergarten and was given you know, they have like a box of spare underwear that they hand out in these situations, and it was and this child was given underwear with a cartoon character on it that they did not appreciate.
And that was it.
That was it. Like, I'm not doing that again. I don't want those stupid underwear.
Like see, it's going to be something like that. It's not going to be something you could get out of a book. It's going to be just some fantastical stroke of luck or genius exactly, or desperation.
Yeah.
And boy, the hammer and nail thing is really apt because there's so much of you must do this that does not take into account the impact on the family and the impact on the mental health of the parents.
And yeah, well and just the whole forget about the whole family, but even just the whole child, right, I mean, like this dentis with all they were concerned about was the kid's thumbsucking, Like you know, the child has just had their life completely upended. They have a new sibling, like.
Yes, let's start there, let a little company.
Yeah no, that was her.
That it's not embarrassing.
No, no, that's not the same story. So oh wow, So five years later.
You can podcasts, however, completely trustworthy and you should absolutely listen as many parenting podcasts as you can, especially when they spend a lot of time talking about TV shows. Yes, absolutely important things. Thank you for listening. You can find all our episodes on Spreaker, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can find recaps, links, and an opportunity to comment on our website at parentingroundabout dot com.
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