Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow.
And I'm Catherine Hileco.
Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find of the week.
This week's library Fine, I bring you another parenting book to question the intentions of It is called Hunt, Gather Parent. What ancient cultures can teach us about the lost art of raising happy, helpful little humans?
Oh my gosh.
And for one thing, it says ancient cultures, but it really means like third world country, Like it's kind of a cringy, you know, just means non American European.
Yes, you know.
And I think it probably makes some good points about like community basically. I mean, I think the main argument is like in these cultures, you know, kids are fending for themselves a little bit more, but they have an entire community of people around them.
Right, are looking out for.
Them, right, Which was the case when I was growing up in suburban California. So it's not like this is an ancient culture. It's just recently we've maybe gotten away from it. Yeah, there's I'm looking at the picture on the front of this book that looks like a canvas tote bag with some stuffed animals in it and some little shoes. This doesn't look like hunters and gatherers were.
Yeah, they were gathering.
Under gathered days.
Well, this author I know has is a reporter for NPR sop.
Yeah, I guess so.
But it's like you're kind of undercutting your your thesis immediately by having a little uh well Mary Jane's off to the side and you know, your little canvas thing. But okay, I don't know. You know how we feel about these things, right the first the first way to raise happy, helpful little humans is put down the parenting book and just.
Go parent.
Yeah. Well, and it just you can't.
You can't separate the environment from the parenting practices. And that is where all of these kind of fall apart, you know, like why French kids are polite and why Norwegian kids are happy when it's.
Cool whatever, Like French kids are poets.
I don't know there there was you know, how French parents do it, how how.
Well I see Viking everybody is better than American parents.
And it's like, yeah, maybe if I were living in France or Norway or wherever, I would have different Yeah, I would have different methods.
Yeah, you know, yeah, I'm not sure how universally applicable parenting methods are.
It depends on so many things.
Well, that's what I mean that there's just yeah, the environment.
I mean we can say obviously there's.
There's a variety in how every one does things. But you know, if you're living within a society, like there's some things that you can't control.
Right, right, I mean we try ancient culture, yeah, yeah.
You know, like if you can try like living off the grid and you know, homeschooling and everything else, but you know that only works for the first fifteen years or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is just this is like clickbait parenting.
Advice.
Also the time about ancient cultures. What was the average life expectancy of a child in an ancient culture?
Question?
Yeah, and didn't they have like large numbers of children so that maybe a couple of them would live to to.
Do the farm in the.
So I mean if you only got to you only have to deal with them for about eight years and then.
Yeah, maybe a little easier. Yeah, we don't have to.
Deal with that teenage nonsense, because by the time they are teenagers, they're parents and themselves.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, I don't seems like the sort of thing that hunt gather parent well, and I think are we hunting exactly?
It does have some you know, like everything else, it has little kernels in terms of including your child in household tasks and you know, things like that, giving them choices, giving them, you know, whatever independence you can, which again is going to depend.
A lot on the environment. But I mean those.
Little little tiny nuggets, sure you can take from them.
But also doesn't seem like we need to go back to ancient cultures to pick that advice. I feel like there are times within even the lifespan of NPR when.
That was a thing that that people did.
There's various reasons, but you know, I still want to I have to really have to work on this idea of a parenting book companion, where you could take notes on parenting advice and then change it so that it a works for you and b is not annoying.
To rewrite every parenting book so that it exactly fine.
Hunt and gather any tiny bit of information that you can see as workable, figure out how to make it work. There, you toss the rest in the garbage, keep your little notebook perfect, yes, Hunt, gather parenting informations, and discard the rest.
Well, why don't you tell us what you've gathered?
Oh yeah, I have gathered a few earworms over the past little bit. And they're not like current pop songs that it would make sense for me to just break out singing in the car. They're a little weird, but I'm gonna share them with you. You go listen to them, and then you will be singing them randomly in the car too, and I will not feel quite so alone.
The first thing is a couple of a couple of episodes lost episodes ago, we were talking about Rob mcalhoney playing one of a young guard and you referred to him as a baby Rob mcalhoney, and you did in fact pronounce his name correct, right. But we did comment on the fact that that is quite a name to
have to say without preparation. And I had heard somewhere that he was legally changing his name to Rob Mack for that very reason, and in the course of looking up information on that, and by the way, on IMDb, he is now, in fact Rob Mac Yeah.
I just read a New York Times magazine article about It's Always Sunny and they referred to him as Mac through.
Yes, and I read an article that said his wife came Linnelson and his kids are a little chagrined by this because it is still their legal last names. But anyway, on the subject of it being tricky to pronounce, uh, Ryan Reynolds made a video with a song with using I think people from this series they have Welcome to Wrexham. They own a British soccer team, right anyway, it's a song. Yeah, it's a song about how to pronounce his name, and the part that goes, MA call Henny mack coh Henny
goes through my brain all the bleep and time. And I'm walking around singing that and people are looking at me funny, and I can't explain it's this this.
Video about this guy's name.
It's really not even his name anymore, so there's really no reason for me to care about this song, but it's just so catchy. It just stuck in my brain like a burr. So thanks a lot, Ryan Reynolds. I don't even need to know anymore how to pronounce it until his children are actors. And the second one was I was recently doing some work for a client of
mine that involved a school lesson on Benjamin Franklin. Was actually it was I guess about the Revolutionary War, but there was a whole section of it on Benjamin Franklin, and I immediately had to go through my head, do you know.
Who the bleep? Iye am? Do you know who the bleep?
Bye am? Benjamin something something bleep in Franklin? And I had to then immediately go on YouTube and listen to Benjamin Franklin's song, which was an outtake from Hamilton I Do love that and sung by the December.
I think it was.
Incredibly delightfulness. And anytime I see anything about Benjamin Franklin and they're talking about how he was an ambassador and he did this, I'm just imagining him going, you know, yeah, exactly. The attitude in that song just bled right over into this school lesson, and I almost put a note for the people I work for saying, hey, you know, if y'all haven't ever heard this song, you used to go listen to it and then you feel better of that idea.
And thirdly, under the category of how does our brain remember ridiculous, stupid songs that we knew when we were in school, but forgets everything else we learned in school. The other day, we were driving on a street in our town and we passed by a particularly pungent bit of roadkill, and I said, oh, it's like that song dead Skunk in the middle of the road. And my husband looked at me, like, what I said, there's a song? There was a song dead Skunk in the middle of
the road. And he's like, sure there was, And so I looked it up and see, I said, right here, right the third In nineteen seventy two, I had a song called dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road and I found it online and I played it and I sang along to it.
And why do I remember that, Catherine?
Why?
I mean?
I was in eighth.
Grade, probably a prime age to think that a folk song about dead skunk in the middle of the road is pretty cool, and we must have sang it at some point amongst us, and it just it It occupied a part of my brain and I remembered.
It like that.
It wasn't even isn't there a song or something about something like that? I know I'll know it's that song Dead Skunk in the middle of the Road. Yeah. My husband had never heard of it, has no idea what I'm talking about. Thought I was making it up until I played it. So now i'm you know, thinking about it. So every time, every time we passed, we passed that particular bit of roadkill quite a number of times during the day, and each time I was ready.
You were ready, was.
Because it was indeed a dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinking to high so perfect, perfect music.
Music. It's it's what would we do without it?
And the way that it embeds itself into our brains, and we'll not leave.
There.
It is. I went to a Hello, somebody's taking this Hello, can you turn that off or down or something?
Okay, does it really work?
I went, So we talked about music, and so now we have music in the background.
I went to a karaoke birthday party pretty recently, and you know, if you asked me to sing every single word of you know, Chicken Fried or whatever, I certainly could not. But when it's playing and everyone's singing.
Yeah, it just comes out, and it just comes right out.
It's amazing.
Brains are so weird the storage. The storage is something that maybe needs to be looked at. It's the way that.
The efficiency is probably not.
There, right, But the fact why is that there? What should those brain cells have instead? What did I learn in eighth grade science and math that's long gone?
But dead skunk in the middle of the road has.
A whole little little quartical cells? Yep, yeah, yep, came right out. Oh well, what do we have from the archive?
This week we are going back to twenty twenty one when we were discussing a tweet that lamented societal press. Sure to sleep, eat, walk, meditate, care for our homes, all these things you know, work, don't forget that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're supposed to do every day. And you know, oh if you have children also.
You have to take care of them.
So in pets that was I don't know if that wasn't there, but yeah, it's like when when I whenever I see people even just with like their.
Nails done, I'm like, but when did you do that? You know?
Or like there's you know, somebody I follow on Instagram who's basically an influencer, and so like it's her job to like look good on camera, but when she shows like everything she does in the morning and in the evening, like the routine like this is like two hours of your day, Like how how does that happen?
Like I did, I don't get it.
I mean, my morning routine is maybe ten minutes, and that includes brushing my teeth and putting in my context. My evening routine is maybe like fifteen.
To twenty.
But I also like read a magazine while I'm brushing my teeth while.
I'm yeah, you know, moisturizing.
I'm also sort of multitasking but not really very well, so that makes it take longer.
But still it could not take an hour.
No, well, do you wear makeup? Still?
I do when I go to work, but that's part of the ten minutes. Like opal face is five minutes. Yeah, absolutely can do it in five minutes, but I doubt that they do. I mean, I think people are doing
the shading and the shape. Oh yeah, all of the contract all that different stuff, the contours and you know what, we can see that you did all that stuff and it looks ridiculous, But okay, if it makes you happy, if you look in the mirror and you like the way it looks, if you look at your videos and you like the way it looks.
God bless, but I ain't doing it.
I haven't warrant and warn makeup for years and years now, and I never did that much. It was like eyeshadow, blush and lip something and I was done. But my husband didn't like makeup that much, so he was always happy when I didn't wear it. And I'm like, well, okay, yeah, mostly wearing it to gotcha, guy, I gotcha.
You don't want it? Fine with me?
I do remember what.
Yeah, I was watching it. My husband and I were watching TV, and I think a commercial for mes Gara came on and he is like, who tells that?
I'm like, oh, why do He's like really, oh gosh.
That is one of the one of the one of the.
Things you still do things that I do. Do you use a lash curler or you just use the mascar.
I don't use a curler usually, but I do use a primmer, so like something you ply for the mascara to make it.
Stay on, which actually works really well.
This was I was totally influenced by some article that I was editing, you know, because all I edit is shopping content all the time, So I have made some purchases based so yes, so it's too close, you know, But like I said, I can still do it in five.
Minutes, as long as you can do it in five minutes.
Yeah, but no false eyelashes.
No, that seems ridiculous to me.
No, my my daughter wears someone she skates or she did.
Oh yeah, well that I can sell. But if that's part of the costume.
It's part of the costume. But also, like you have to get used to wearing those things, you know, you, Yeah, they feel very weird.
So yeah, did they ever fall off and land on the ice and then you have to skate around them?
Yeah?
Or do they glue them on with super glue?
They well, they do glue.
Them on, but.
I'm sure they do fall off and then it could be a costume violation if.
You yeah, loose one.
Yikes, that's I don't think I ever did that. My eyes have always been super sensitive to stuff, so I did wear maskara, but probably most of the time it got all smudge because my eyes were watering from contacts or glasses or sweat or something. I'm I'm kind of a mess. So it's really nothing I wear is gonna make that much difference. But I give you, I give you, you got another ten years on the mescira and by.
Then you need to be done with it.
But yeah, I have definitely used being old to pretty much just ditch out every part of my routine. But then you get moisturizer's new routine of like taking your medicine and you got to eat when that's true, and you got to have this one out stomach and you got to take this one. Yes, oh my gosh, it's a nightmare. Yeah, that that is something I do feel pressure with. It's like, am I gonna remember to take it?
My My husband fixes up my pill bottle, my pill box every day for me and generally reminds me, but sometimes I forget. And yes, it's like this one needs food, this one doesn't. But I want to space these apart. I want to space them out through the day. I know it doesn't really matter, and you could just take them all at once, but that seems wrong to me. I want to I want to like space them out. But it's just you know, recently I like increased the number of pills I was taking.
It's like, where am I going to broad them? Which one goes with where or where does it go? Oh my gosh, I don't have enough slots. I'm gonna have to eat another meal just to be able to do this.
I probably have tea. Probably wouldn't complain, like, well, yeah, that's true.
Yeah right now, as we discussed the other day, now that I know my BMI increased, my allowance increases over sixty five, then they bring it on.
Oh my gosh.
But yes, there is the combination of taking a lot of medications and then seeing a lot of doctors.
Yes, does sort of create.
I mean, most of the time I feel just fine, but the pressure of having to remember to go do this and then this is the day. Okay, I'm getting a shot in my eye. That means the rest of the day is shot. And I have to have echo cardiograms for this one thing. It's like it's a lot. And I am I this sickly? Am I this elderly that I am now to just kind of go into the hospital all the time for this and then the other Yeah, and yes, I am.
It's just a lot to cram into your schedule.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I'm also I mean it's making me think that I really need to get going on you know, updating our will and figuring out what my kids are going to do if we are not around. Now, my husband's grandmother lived to one hundred, so I figure he'll be around maybe longer than me. But you know, I already felt the pressure to do it, and then I mentioned it to my daughter's therapist and she said, oh, I know some good people, and she gave me some names.
And so now it's like every time my daughter goes, she says, oh, did your mom.
Call any of those people?
So now there's really pressure cause she, you know, made sure to tell me how inconvenient, you know, how much time it took her to get all this stuff together for me.
So now if I don't.
Do anything, I'm that terrible person who put her to all this trouble for nothing. But it's like it's, you know, one of them is there there, Neither of them are in my town. One of them is up one way, one of them is the other way. Do we want to go south? Do we want to go north? There's this reason to do this, there's that reason. I'm like have paralysis before I even make a phone call, trying
to figure out who I should call. And there's somebody in our neighborhood, I mean know that does our taxes. Maybe we should just talk to them. But then there's this other person, maybe we should just so I just don't do it. So pressure to plan for your death is a real but not something that you really want to do easily procrastinated. And I mean you could say, oh, well, I've got another few years. I'm in pretty good shape.
I know it's not.
But you know, one bad one bad move on the highway, so you can never know.
There's a lot of pressure right now.
Yeah, maybe we have to stop so you can go take care of some things.
You need to go back and sing the Benjamin tradlines on it.
That'll make you feel.
Do you know who they'll bleeby?
Am I'm the person who hasn't yet planned for her demids?
Oh?
That person?
Ouch?
But I have planned for the end of this podcast, which should happen right about now right. Thank you for listening. You can find all our episodes on spreaker, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can find recaps, links, and an opportunity to comment on our website at parentingroundabout dot com.
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