Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow.
And I'm Catherine Hileco.
Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find of the week.
So I haven't brought up a children's book for my library find in a while, but this one is just another really cute, illustrated one where I encourage you to go take a look at the cover. The book is called Cranky, and it is cranky. It's the name of a crane.
So get it. He cranks up his arm thing.
But also he's just cranky, as in, he's in a bad mood. And the right in the beginning of the book and he says, you know, he's addressing reader, and he says, I don't want to talk about it. He does not want to explain what it is that's making him cranky.
And he goes to work and.
His friends, you know, the dump truck and the forklift and whatever, and they're like, cranky, what's the matter, And he's like, I don't want to talk about it. And so it's it's really, you know, it's I think it's it's a nice you know, it's a sentiment. It's like you're allowed to have feelings, and you don't always have to explain them, like and sometimes you can't, Like.
Sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of.
The quarry and you just can't. You don't know why, and when people keep asking, it really doesn't feel good.
And that's that's kind of what this book is about.
Looking at the cover here and the cranky expression on this Yes, this crane's face is really quite I have had that very feeling. Right, I'm just going to put that up on the outside of my door exactly.
Today is a cranky day. Do not disturb.
Uh. The The illustrator is the same one as I May I talked about a long time ago, the series where it's like the good Egg and the bad Seed and the big Cheese and the sour Grape and there's a whole bunch.
It's the same illustrator from that. I'm so nice, Yes, to be nicely.
Charming little And you know, of course it's a as I say, every time it's a children's book, you can guess the ending.
But I wasn't necessarily expecting it to go.
This we're shrinking, right, you would be heading for the end of the closed the last.
Minutes there, and yes, but it did. It did take a few little little turns that I thought were nice.
So that is Cranky.
Good to help kids understand their moods. Yeah, and possibly to understand their mother's moods.
Right, And just like it was about friendship, and you know, he really like Cranky right now.
He felt he eventually, you know, felt cared for by his friends asking him how even though he didn't like it at.
First when they.
He felt like they were nagging him, but eventually he saw it as.
Them being good friends. So yeah, I'm very sweet. Got to lean on people exactly.
And speaking of shrinking, yes, it's kind of on my mind right now. My family is starting to give me looks like when I was Hamilton Hamilton, And because I'm just shrinking all the time, I'm all about shrinking. I like that show. Nobody in my house has any interest in watching it. It's not their kind of thing. I'm
very lonely. But one thing that about the show that my daughter does like is the music from it, which I have shared with her in a couple of playlists that Apple Music put together because it's an Apple TV Plus show, I'm sure, but it's all, you know, not music composed for the show, but music that is used in the background by all sorts of artists I would never have listened to before. Some I recognize the name sum some I don't. It's not music I'm necessarily familiar with.
Sometimes there's a they use a really widely known here, but a lot of times it's sort of this particular genre I guess, of which I am not familiar. But Krista Miller, who does the music supervision, I believe, certainly seems to be You remember how Liz said people like her playlists. I like her playlists anyway. There's one for season one, and there's one for season two, and we will link to them and you it gives you that that ability to your listening to some music as you're driving.
Oh.
I remember that scene was.
In very evocative in.
The in the flashbacks where Lewis was leaving the restaurant with his girlfriend and there's lyrics come on to something like for a minute you were my whole world and I and it's on that song is on here. Whenever I hear it, I and the music that was on at the very end of this past episode that we just discussed that where Jimmy and Lewis are sitting on a bench by the train there. When I hear that music, I remember that scene, and so it's kind of a nice way to sort of relive the show because it's
just very evocative. I find. Yeah, you don't realize how much music is in the show until you really concentrate on it. There's almost always some song playing in the background. And also maybe a way to reach out if you are a big fan of the show living with people who are not, maybe they like the music. Yeah, maybe they'll dig the music. I play it in the in the car now when I drive. My daughter drives me places, and she professes to enjoy it.
So yeah, all right, it's a win for Terry.
A win for me, and very nice that that exists because you don't necessarily always think I'm going to listen to the songs from that TV show.
Yeah, a little.
It's a show that a little apple synergy, a.
Little apple synergy, and I approve. So if you're missing the show, if you're wondering when it's coming back, if you just sort of want to lie back in the warm bath of shrinking without having to sit and watch another watch an episode again, get these playlists to play them all the time, you know, either in trance or annoy your family.
Both are good.
That's my recommendation for the week and.
Maybe every week, you know, for the time being until the third season playlist comes out.
As I believe I have mentioned earlier, it also does have the extended version of cheater bits right, so it is even more unsafe for work REGI.
Which is a little hard to believe, but.
Quite eyepop it, I will say, do not play it in the car with your Yeah, So what do we have from the archive this week?
We are going to flashback to twenty twenty two. We were talking about praise and the delicate nature of.
Whether kids are motivated by praise.
This it started with an article about uncertain uncertain incentives and the way that you know, sort of intermittent rewards are more motivating than con instant raining down of treats and words. So, but you know, just the challenge of like, you know, you want to, you want to praise your kids, but maybe that doesn't always work really well in terms of motivation.
Yeah, it's so hard to do it in a way that sounds genuine, right, the genuine possibly impossible.
Yes, it's the genuineness that can trip you up.
So and you mean it, you are genuine, but it's the way it's received.
Yeah, especially if you've like read a book and made a plan that I'm going to be by praise, going to use praise. And then they're like, well then we don't want this, yes, could you yell some right? Try this something I'd like to time out please, like Sawyer in the Pit Austin. Yeah, it's just yeah, it's still now I think. I mean, even my kids are adults. Hold on, you know, I think door to door people either work when it's very cold, lot to make you
feel guilty about leaving them out on the steps. Somebody wanted to remodel my house and he's like, you know, talking about a dream model, and I said, you know, we just had some stuff done in the house and we can't afford it now, so oh what did you have done? I'm like, look, it's very cold out. It's too cold for you, it's cold for me. With the door open, I'm just gonna say goodbye. So yikes. These young people, young enthusiastic people are just trying to make a book with this.
You want to praise them for their.
But just praise stand on the the inside of the door and say you're doing such a good job, but just don't do it here, Yes.
I do usually you're very good.
Here's the nicest way that I can say. Stop him.
Yes, but yeah, with your own kids, the struggle is like, is how it's genuine? You don't My son in particular, is extremely sensitive to any effusiveness.
Like my husband has learned, like or.
He he knows he hasn't always been able to actually do it, but like you know, the more he says almost anything, it just backfires on him so badly, and it's so hard for him. You know, he really wants to be able to say this stuff, but it is not received.
Yes, so yeah, I mean, I mean using praise as an incentive is a sound.
Right, It does not always work.
Dang.
Yeah.
My daughter, now if I praise her about something, she goes, oh.
Like, oh you tried.
It's like dank, you throw me down a little bone.
That's funny.
Oh well, yeah, I mean my my son last semester in the fall got really good grades, like for the first time ever, and oh this is this is true? Yes, because I'm just like I don't As I've said, the effusiveness is never well received, and I certainly don't want to be like, oh my god.
I didn't think you could do it, and look at that you did.
Yeah, but how And also I'm very nervous about the you know what's coming up, just it's all different classes and I feel like it could very well go a different way.
And but then of course if you don't say anything, it's like.
I do not know it is.
Oh man, that'd be one for our parenting game showy situations for a parent to navigate and everything you do will be.
Wrong and nope, taken away some points.
Yeah, the last parent to go into negative points wins.
I watched this webinar the other day, so for for the library, because we're closed. We have all these webinars and podcasts stuff that we can watch or listen to during our work at home time. And it was a presentation given by somebody who had been on Jeopardy, someone local who had been on Jeopardy and did pretty well, and he was talking about you know, libraries and Jeopardy and how both you know, were meaningful to him and blah blah blah, and he gave a little jeopardy quiz like he gave.
He put out some questions. He did not give the answer. I was like, what are you doing?
I think that if you were watching this, because I was watching the recording obviously of this thing, if you were watching it in real time, you could like enter your answers on this Google doc and it must have it must have told you on the Google doc if you what the answers were. But I was like, wone, someone think of us, we're watching it. After that, I looked at all the not and you know, material nothing like I'm gonna have.
To look this on my slsion if I want to know what happened.
So you're not praising the way that was, I'm not praising him.
Yeah that was rough.
So yeah, because you know, we we adults, we parents need some praise sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, except my praise that I get and my kids do praise me, and my husband does praise me, but it's usually after I've been going, Oh, I'm so die. I do everything wrong. I can't get anything right. Oh I messed that up. Oh I'm so sorry, I did that. No, Mom, you're doing great.
You're doing good.
Mom, you're doing You're fine, You're fine, honey.
It's like liars.
So I'm just as bad. Yeah, any praise.
You know.
I feel bad about the way things went when my kids were younger, and I think of things that I did that I did wrong, and they're.
Like, oh, no, you right.
Everything I loved my childhood, everything was perfect, And then you feel condescended to and then you're mad.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You don't remember anything. I remember everything.
It was bad. How dare you accuse me of not remembered. It's rough, no matter what.
Yeah, yes, it's you know, it's such a it's such a I feel like, at this time in parenting, such an accepted and required thing to praise, that that praise is the way to do it. This is what works, This is what always works. You pick up books, they'll tell you it's gonna work great. Teachers will tell you that. Everybody will tell you that. But it's like, really, it really doesn't. Well, it does small and sincere increments exactly, but you have to have the kind of kid who
will pace themselves that way. We'll struggle a little bit and then get it, and then you can praise them and everybody feels good about themselves. It's a religibly small segment of the child population. I think. Yeah, either you have the kid who is struggling constantly, and then you have to make up reasons too. Oh that probably took you half an hour. It took you for five minutes
last week. Could And then they're like just shut up, yeah, or they're super smart and super great, and then you have to keep thinking of new things to praise them about. You know, Oh you sang so well? What you thought I didn't sing well the last time?
No?
No, but yeah. So it's just I don't know who it works for. And it's certainly better than negativity, but it ain't a cau all. Have we mentioned that every family is different, situation is different. Some of them have no answer whatsoever. Some of them you're just jeopardy without the responses.
Yeah, that's parenting for you, right, You just throw the answer out into the ether and you never know. Maybe you'll find out by accident five years from now.
Oh that's what that meant?
Okay, Yeah, yeah, thank you for listening. You can find all our episodes on Spreaker. Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can find recaps, links and an opportunity to comment on our website at parentingroundabout dot com.
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