Parenting Tips from “The Gilded Age” S3 E4, “Marriage Is a Gamble”

Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow and I'm Catherine Hileco. As parents and parenting writers, we can't help but see everything through a parenting lens. But as our kids have become adults, we find ourselves more interested in getting caught up on movies and streaming than I'm going over the same parenting topics over and over.

So since we're pretty sure we can find parenting wisdom anywhere, we're going to talk about what we're watching, what we thought about it, and maybe what we can learn from it, if only what not to do. Watch and listen along, and let's all make like we're doing something important for our families. Each Wednesday we bring you our thoughts on a newer entertainment property, and for this week of August eleventh, we're continuing with The Gilded Age, Season three, Episode four,

In a romantic comedy. No I did did like for perspective, and I suppose this is a parenting tip in some way. Uh Marian pointing out that their friend who married for love it didn't work out, and her friend who their friends who married as a business transaction are doing quite well. So you can't ever say, I mean, certainly, I think we think the person Gladys was in love with would not have lasted very well, right, And so sometimes, you know what, you just got to.

Go along with it, even though you don't want to because you don't want to show your mother that you are That's true.

Oh, there was very much that element, isn't there. Don't want to give her the satisfaction, but you know, needther you nor your father can figure out anything else to do so.

Right, so it's kind of game over for Gladys, even though she takes to her room for an indeterminate amount of time that might have been a few weeks unclear. In the you know, they make it certainly a cliffhanger of will she or won't she show up at the church. I knew that she would. I mean, we've seen pictures like I think it was. I feel like it was in the trailer.

Maybe it wasn't, I don't know, but we're watching it a little behind.

We are watching very.

Hard to be on social media without seeing pictures of yes, things that have happened recently.

Yes, so so, yes, she as I had assumed she would, showed up, cried her way down the aisle, with which maybe people couldn't see behind her veil unclear. I do believe that the Duke's nasty sister gotta gotta look at her crying. So that was that was sad. So yeah, we had we had two two sisters up here. We had Bertha's sister Monica.

Both unwanted, yes, unwelcome, and yet there they were.

Yes, Monica played by Merrit Weaver. She was. She was a lot of.

Fun costume in the right period. I don't see her in historical things very often.

Yes, And Bertha had to engineer the destruction of the dress she was wearing so she wouldn't wear it to the wedding. Oh just oops, this coffee. I don't know how it's spilled.

Just appreciate for a moment how hard Bertha works. We don't always approve of what she works towards. But she, uh, she's a busy girl. Yeah, yeah.

She is. And she wasn't going to let her sister's ugly dress. And she tells George it would have been unkind to let her wear the dress.

With all the other things she has to worry about, is my daughter gonna bail on this marriage and and humiliate me in front of all of society, she still has time to think of her sister. Yep, it's kind of Galabertha.

What a lovely lady.

Who invited the former help who's married to the old dude.

I know. I don't know how she.

Because he was just there making observations like nice to see you, actress whose name I don't remember, right, but I remember you, and glad you get another episode? But why would I would think Bertha would do everything in her power to keep that woman away from him, unless she wants to be like, look at me, Yeah I did, yeah, uh huh.

And and she had to kind of swallow her work, like I've never even met this sister, and missus Fish is like, oh, how would you have met her? No reason?

Yeah?

Yeah, oops, yeah, gotta be more careful yourself there, sister. Yeah.

Well, the next in addition to whatever challenge is Gladys face is the next challenge. Romantic challenge will be uh, Larry selling Mary into his mother.

Right.

She sort of knows because she let her be the bridesmaid, or it was just.

Well he didn't. He didn't push her as the bridesmaid because he wants to be with her.

Just because she's a neighbor and it's convenient.

Yeah, she'll fit there.

I gotta think that brother's gonna have something to say about this. But oh yeah, absolutely, you know who knows. Maybe she got she got the one, she got this one thing done. Does she want to have I don't know. She probably will need Larry to marry somebody with money to solve their money problems.

Yeah, but Larry, let's just no, just made a bundle from Jack's clock. So Jack got half, but together they got they each got three hundred dollars, which.

Larry essentially for doing nothing but having a name that they could attach, that.

They could set up meetings.

Yeah right, yeah, and you didn't get it man, Although Jack is like, this is more money than I've ever imagined having in my life. So he's not upset.

Yeah, oh yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't tell me.

He hasn't just put this under his mattress in this little Footman Garrett.

Yes, because the drinks with broad substack informs me that this three hundred thousand is worth in today's dollars, well over eleven million dollars. Yeah, so, Jack, I mean it's it's like abstract at that point to him, you know, I mean, that's crazy.

Don't let Oscar talk in, don't let Oscar have it. Don't let Oscar know there's that much money in the house. No, don't let Agnes know there's that much money in the house.

Yeah.

Right, she's a bottomatic with living under the uh, the sponsorship of her.

Sister, right, who, as we as we knew what happened, uh invited a woman into the house to perform a seance. Andrea Martin, Hello.

What's it? Oh my god? Did I not notice it? Andria Martin? Yeah, oh shoot, I'm gonna have to go watch that scene again.

Yep.

But what you have a seance to to communicate with your husband, who was a religious individual. I don't think he would have approved of this.

I don't think so either, although he was just a very agreeable person, especially where Ada came.

This is the work of the devil. But I can at least talk to her, you know, and.

Be fine, My poor wife, I just.

Picking at your sister for buying a dress and then you're spending your money on this.

Yes, and also like, I don't think most seances are conducted in at like eleven o'clock in the morning drink because Agnes was like, oh, I'll be home by lunch, and Ada is like, okay, great, that will give me enough time to fit in my seance while you're gone. No, I won't.

Yeah. Uh. We had some more good times in Newport with Peggy and her family.

And I forget his name, hot doctor his family.

Lusha was shod just giving the let's see, who is she the equivalent of on the She's she's sort of sort of got some Agnes vibes. Yes, very disapproving and sarcastic and snobby, snobby, very snobby and not going to approve of Peggy and her son. I don't believe no, am I hallucinating Or was there a story in the first season where Pegy was married and had a child and then her dad got rid of the child. Somehow her dad told her the kid was dead.

And disappeared her from the guy and somehow ended the marriage.

Yeah, and then the kid wasn't dead, but then he did die subsequently die. Yes, So there was this whole scandal, which I gotta think Lucia Shod is going to turn up at some point, right, would there not be a chance of them?

Well, I think this all happened in Philadelphia, and the dad worked very hard.

To I feel like has people on a retainer to go check out individuals who show an interest in her son. I want to complete dossier, send the Pinkerton agents out. Yes, yeah, I unless we've just forgotten that part of season one and we're not going to ever talk about it, which is also possible.

Yeah, well, I think that though.

A different way with that character.

Never mind, I think the former husband might also be dead at this point.

Oh, speaking of former spouses. Yes, miss the chef's wife finally dies, So you're gonna propose to missus Bruce, And she's like, I have a husband that.

Won't work for me. I'm sorry to say, Ah, she has a husband who's in an asylum. Yes, she doesn't want to abandon him and his in his illness.

So they will just one presumes, just go on.

Yeah, eventually he'll they just conveniently die.

I suppose neither of them are getting any younger, though the chef doesn't look like he's got that long. But still it was a surprising little scene there between the two of them. But I'm not sure even if it is your mother's ring, I'm not sure about giving your next wife the same rings that your wife that here the.

Former wife a little greedy.

Yes, if it's in the family. Probably the rich people do it all the time. Yeah, it's not like you can go out and buy another one, right, so.

Or take it down to the.

Downstairs action in this, yes, this one. And who do we think was selling secrets to the newspapers?

I don't know.

We're supposed to think it was somebody, so, I mean, it's not above it's not out of the question that it might be uh Bertha, it's.

Right, But then it went too far, you know, and she didn't approve of it any any longer. But I don't know.

I don't realise one of the servants, well.

Maybe Adelaide, I don't. I don't trust that one.

She's off to England now temporarily.

And she might be mad about that because she's off to England to train her replacement and then get out.

So I take a boat act all by yourself, yeah, or else just be put out to service to somebody else in England.

I don't know, Yeah, but would be I.

Would think it'd be exciting for her.

Yeah, I don't know, right.

Leave all her friends and stuff. That's kind of think And I don't think Gladys is we're a real good time for a while.

Yeah.

So I'm wondering if Bertha's instruction to her marrying daughter is better than missus Bridgington's instruction to her first daughter to marry, which was declared to be unsatisfactory.

Yeah, I feel like bas.

More down to earth. Yes, might have just given some uh some slightly more graphic depiction.

Right, Maybe that's why birth, That why Gladys was in her room for a couple of weeks without wanting to come out. You know, she's like, hold on, this is really too much now.

Yeah, but as Hector says romantically, it will be embarrassing for us both. But other people have survived.

Right, and let's just get it over with his basic plan.

Which honestly not a bad idea. You don't want to you don't want to be just like worrying about it suspicious and then it becomes a whole big thing. So just you know, we're on a boat. Yes, that's true, So I don't know. I suppose the parenting tip here is do not marry your child to be a person they do not want to marry.

But Bertha is not listening to us, that's for sure.

Is fairly convinced that this is the way to give her child a meaningful life, and she is just possibly deluded, but she is doing it theoretically with loving intent, right, But I don't think it's going to go so well, we'll see, you never know.

Yes, well, I watched a little trailer for the remaining episodes, and the sister at one point the Duke's yeah. At one point, the Duke says to her something like, you know, well, it was your idea for me to marry a Yankee heiress to you know, save their home or whatever, and she says, well, I didn't think you'd bring her back, basically like, I didn't even think i'd have to interact with this person. So yeah, well I'm not what you thought.

You could have done, way worse than Gladys he can.

Yeah, she's quite malleable, it seems.

Yes, although she also one hopes, has some of her mother in her.

She's gonna need that.

I think but that require kicking.

Yeah, well, I do hope she learned that.

I hope she does. I hope she has it in her someplace. Yes, and if not, I hope Bertha hops on a boat and comes over there. Yes, deploys swift justice. So should be scared of her if you're not scared of the kid, although then again, they may soon be penniless if JP Morgan's yes, if his threats predictions are true, yes.

Well once again Larry is now.

Yes, Larry can help out.

But there were some intimations in the in this trailer that maybe Larry isn't so good with money, like, oh, he's good at apparently negotiating, but yes, maybe hanging on to it honest, not so much.

Oh, Larry, Marry, please do not be feckless, because we like you and Marion together.

Yeah. Well, he definitely.

Feel like she could possibly find a more stable match. Oh well, let's see. At one point of Bertha says, go to bed, George and wake up sensible. Yes, I feel like that's a parenting tip. You know, I think that you could say that to your children sometimes.

Yes, what it worked unclear, but yes, I did enjoy that.

It's just like, we are going to we are going to end this right now.

Yeah, we're gonna you know, reset.

Reset, and uh let's uh, let's see how it is in the morning. That's sometimes that is the way to get past a bump.

Yes, time out, everybody, take a step back, have a nice rest, and we'll try again tomorrow.

Yeah.

Do you This isn't really parenting related, but there was this whole thing where there was an article in the newspaper about Missus Astor's daughter, and so Missus Astor was like, well, you're not coming to this wedding, you know, because because of this. And then at the wedding Ada says to Missus Astor some I'm like, oh, what was it? There was something in.

The paper that we were gonna we were.

Going to ask and I was like, Aida, what where did that come from? Like, she hasn't been that sort of space cadet before, has.

She pretty space cadet?

But I mean to just I don't know that well, I guess.

She didn't remember what the story was about, just that there was a story, right, But still I don't think you talk about Missus talked to Missus Astor about her name being in the papers. Any reason, good or bad.

Right, And I feel like Ada knows that or she once.

She passive aggressively being was she acting ditsy even when she really meant to be, or which doesn't seem like.

Her No, because she's just she doesn't want to be cruel, I mean no.

Yeah, she's just becoming more of a Are we supposed to think maybe she's losing a step or something like.

That, right, right, Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, yeah, I agree that she has been kind of flaky at times, and see hiring a psychic, but that just seemed a

Cut the phone lines or the to instruct the servants that know.

Yeah, don't mail any letters.

Oh yeah. Yes. If you have a sibling that you do not wish to interact with in certain situations, what do you do? How do you you theoretically want your child to be to know your family members. Say friendly with your family members, but you don't necessarily want to interact with your family members. That's a difficult thing. That's a parenting tip. I don't think, however, that the waybirth handled it is the right. Is a tip, h boy

Right Exactly when you have a son who's been making him a lot of noise about about stuff that's kind of not necessarily his business, you know, and teach your kids.

And this is something I have not quite done sufficiently, although my mother before me, as I've mentioned many times, did it well, teach your kids to fear you. You know, Larry should know that if he does this thing, he's going to be in it with his mom, and he may have favors to ask of his mom in recent you know soon, and he perhaps wants to be on her good side. Yeah, you don't want your kids thinking, oh, we'll do this, Mom will be really happy about this.

Ha ha ha.

Well, well I don't care what mom thinks. I'm just going to do what I think is best, and you know, if it bothers her, that'll be hilarious. We don't want this. We want to train them to say, I would love to see my aunt, but I don't think that mom wants to deal with the stress of that right now, with the wedding and everything. I'll just keep my mouth shut. Yeah, parenting too, Yeah, you know, make them know that you're a handful and respect that. My children do not respect that.

Yes, so.

Yeah, just be clear mh and uh, exact punishment exactly, and your daughter will get her butt out of her room and go down the aisle. Yeh, yeh. Get me out of this country and away from her. Yeah, even the the sister may be unpleasant, but she's not my sister, She's not my mother. I could probably do what I want. Right, Well, how will this turn out?

Yes? Well we shall so next Wednesday. The episode is called a different world for lots of people. That's true venture to guess, So.

I will be spending the time in between worrying less about Gladys than I am about Jack. Buddy, put the money someplace, say, but Larry open up? Well again, perhaps not a bank? Could you put that? Where got that?

Yet?

I'm nervous about that money. That's a lot of money, even in those those days. Dollars, those dollars, right, so yikes?

Yes, well, well we'll see what happens next week. Our weekly Roundabout roundup is on vacation this week, so we will be back next Tuesday, and that'll be for Lost Season three, episode twelve.

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