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Dumb Fights

Jun 14, 202313 min
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Episode description

A fracas over fish got us complaining about dumb fights with family members: What they're really about, and why they aren't as effective as the tantrums our own moms threw.

Transcript

Welcome to round three of the Parenting Roundabout podcast for the week of June twelfth. I'm Nicolarics them here with Catherine hell Ecko Hello and Terry Morrow. Hello. We're bumps of teens and young adults and when it comes to parenting, we've been there, done that, bought the T shirt. But we're still waiting for that day when we'll reach the finish line and have no further need to lay down in a dark room with a wet rack over our eyes wearing

about something or other. Wednesday is complaint day here on Parenting Roundabout, and today we are complaining about dumb fights with family members. Okay, yes, and my notes say Terry has feelings about fish. Okay, so was this a fight about fish? In my defense, I will have to say that my son was a culinary major in community college and I did all his homework with him, so I read a lot of food safety textbooks. Oh it stayed with me because it was scary. Okay. So usually in my house,

my husband is the one who will have an outburst. He will be the one who talks angrily about something. But yesterday, I don't know why. I was having a good day, but he had microwaved some leftover fish and he was going to eat it, and then we remembered that our son was getting off of work early and he would probably be eating lunch at home, and so he said, oh, well he should have this fish.

And my husband was going to put it back in the microwave and just close the microwave door and felt that that would keep it okay for like an hour. And I, having read about the things that can live in fish and make your life hell, was like, no, No, you cannot do that. Either eat that or put it in the refrigerator. You cannot. Just I think my husband thinks that the microwave has just magical properties of preservation. We just as long as you put it in the microwave, it'll before

it as a keep warm feature. Yeah, but maybe not for an hour, not for an hour, and not for fish, you know. I it's somebody I find myself screaming into him, Wait all mess with fish. I've ever dreamed at something so angrily, about about something important. I don't think there's been anything important that I have done, but about the stupid fish, I'm like yelling like it is the the biggest thing in my life. Right now is making sure that nobody eats the fish that's been sitting there for

an hour. Wow, So you just sort of looked at me. I think he was stunned because I don't. I don't usually yell, and when I do, it's usually a while coming, and then it's about something that means something. And yet somehow I was super angry about fish. Yes, so you don't. Fish is one of those things the bad things can happen to, and so you want to treat it really carefully. You know.

Sometimes we'll eat dinner and then he will leave it sitting out and then eventually he will put it on plates and put it in the refrigerator and then to eat the next day. But it's like if it's out there too long, the fish, I'm like, well, put that fish away. Really should do something about that fish. And he's like, oh, it's cooked, it's fine. It's like, no, no, fish, fish is serious.

You don't our message to you today, people don't miss you never read a food safety textbook, you would know you don't want to go near that thing. Wow, bad enough, just fresh and cooked, But it made me want cooked fish is not quite as bad, right, I mean it's the it's raw or spoiled that you have to really worry about. It is it is, but still, who knows if it got cooked quite and if everything in there? God, I yeah, I'm completely paranoid about it.

I understand, but you can't leave it in the microway for an hour. And then I guess he felt he would eat it up again and it would be hunky dory, And maybe it would have been, And maybe I was stupid, but it made me think. Have you guys had stupid arguments with a family member that afterwards you went, what the heck? What was that about? Or is it just me? I mean, my spouse would tell you that anything I, you know, make a stink about is definitely not

a big deal. Yeah, so dumb to you? I guess. Yeah. I mean we afterwards after the heat has boiled off, and you went, why did I feel it was necessary to scream about that? Yes?

I mean I was telling you all the earlier that you know, we're having a big party for my son's graduation, so one's a little bit on edge about that and everyone being I mean truly all of us, and you know, I'm in my head have this long mental list of like everything we have to do to prepare, you know, clean and like pick up all the dog poop from the backyard and sweep the sweep the front walk, even though you know everything's going to happen in the backyard, but the you know,

people are going to walk up the front walk and it's like covered with debris from trees and stuff. And sweep the back and you know, my husband wants to power wash the patio and all this stuff, and of course mow the lawn and blah blah blah. And then my husband's like, well, we really need to clean the screened porch on the front of the house. And I was just like, what are you talking about, Like no one's going there, like at all, no one's going inside the house unless they

need to go to the bathroom. So of course the bathrooms are on my list as well. But you know, we have this, we have a very nice screened porch. But the problem is it gets so dirty, you know, just like dust and pollen and you know, bugs get in there. It's just and so if you want to enjoy the screen porch, you have to clean it. But we don't have to clean it now, you do not have to clean it for this party, Like that doesn't make any

sense to me. And so when I say like, no, we don't need to do that, then I yet, oh, well, of course, you know, all my ideas are stupid and wrong, and I'm like, oh no, it's just not a priority like that. There's so many

other things better are more important than that right now. So that's the current conflict, Vie that you're having that I think it's stud Have you seen those again, going back to like TikTok and memes and in studios, have you seen like, you know, they literally like there's people that take you know, the woman is in the house cleaning and scrubbing and washing you know, toilets and bathrooms and vacuuming, and because she's preparing for a party, and

then the husband is outside like pulling out the leaves from the gutters, right because all of our guests are going to be in the gutters. Yes, exactly, like just totally not even yeah yeah, not even not even close. Yeah. Yeah. So yes, one of my I think one of my I don't know if I told you this. One of the first big fights that Peter and I had when we were married was over our front door.

Did I tell you this story. We were renovating our living room and it had a front door, and we lived in a very rural area, and so there was a front door and then a screen door, and he took off the front door because we were going to replace it, but he didn't seem the need to replace it any time in the near future. So all we had was a screen door that separated us from the wilderness and the few neighbors that we had around, and it didn't have a lock on it.

And I was like, I was livid because you know, we you know, for me, it was like hugely important. And he was like, oh, no, would be fine. You know, who go camping and we don't have a lock on our door and like this is different. And so we like had a huge blow out over that because he just didn't see the importance of having a front door. What the heck, my luck, somebody is gonna you know, some serial killer from like oh Maine is gonna show up. And I don't know anyway, but yeah, that was

not cool. Yea, but my husband will do things like that. I don't know what that is. I don't know, I don't know why that occurs, But like your kids, do you have dumb fights with your kids that you wonder afterwards why you made such a big deal of something. Um, pretty much all of my fights with the kids. Afterwards, I go,

why did I even bother? But yeah, yeah, I mean no, because you know, with the kids, it's it's different because, um, like, I'll bottle it up and then then then when something is like really serious and I'll blow up, and then it'll be just like this huge massive you know, Bob, I don't. I don't bottle it up and then it goes off when it's something stupid. Yeah, no, no, I would bottle it off, and then it'll bottle it up and then it will blow up and it will be so disastrous that, yeah, it just

does not good. They at least fear you afterwards and behave Um no, they probably just think that I'm off my rockers. That's what my mom used to do. I've talked about this before, is she would blow up and then she would take to her bed for like three days, and we would my dad and I would crawl around on our hands and knees, begging forgiveness. But when I blow up, that does not happen. So I wonder what her secret was. She had us all, he had us intimidated.

I guess I guess you just did it strategically. She didn't do it for a really, really, really long time. So when you think it's like, oh yeah, I don't think they expect it and they're like because usually I'm pretty like kind of you know, it's something really bad. When mom blows we're in real trouble now, totally. Yeah. I think it's very like, oh okay, she really means business now, right, Yeah. I remember my mom sometimes like going along, going along, going along,

and then all of a sudden, yeah, well you stop it. I don't even recall I've been doing prop that right, massive, right, yeah, but when you have three kids in four years, you know, oh yes, a lot. Sure, Yeah, it's crazy. Well have we gotten all that out of our out of our system? Fortunately, we never fight with each other. Do we get along because we don't. If we did, it wouldn't be about anything stupid. It would be about something meaningful.

Because we don't have to live together. Don't cross me, we don't have to live together or feed each other questionable food. We would just ghost each other as all ghost each other. Oh well, that's it for today's Round three. Tune in tomorrow when we'll obsess about a poetic scene from Ted Lasso, and then on Friday to see what we've come up with for our Roundabout round up picks this week. Find all our episodes at parenting roundabout dot

com and talk back in the comments there. On our Facebook page or on Twitter, but you'll find a set Roundabout chat all from the

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