Heil Shitler - podcast episode cover

Heil Shitler

Dec 10, 202331 minEp. 140
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Episode description

Brace yourselves as we dissect the former President of the United States asserting on national tv his desire to become a dictator and the aftermath that could follow. Through a grim humor lens, we examine the threats to democracy and the ludicrous proposition of liberating a prisoner for their inauguration. 

Engaging in an interactive exercise, we call out to Republicans to justify the alarming attack on Capitol on January 6th. The baffling behavior of a Republican speaker of the house blurring out the perpetrators' faces is also under our scrutiny. Dive into the complex role of Mike Pence in these events, and the significance of his son’s persuasion in getting him to certify Biden's election. Even as we navigate through these political tumults, we take a moment to pay tribute to our Twitter friend @Wifeyspice90, who sadly lost her life due to Covid-19.

In a turn to the darkly absurd, we discuss people turning to fish tank cleaner as a deceptive cure for Covid-19. While the Republican anti-vaccine stance continues, the irony of many elected GOP officials getting vaccinated isn't lost on us. Join us for an insightful deep-dive into the changing political climate and the high stakes of our times.

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Transcript

Speaker 1

One two three , four . Hey , this is D-Night .

Speaker 2

This is Carol , this is Ty .

Speaker 1

And you're listening to the Pardon the Interaction podcast where apparently Donald Trump tuned in but didn't like what we have to say . I guess he was extremely disappointed that he wasn't getting any advice on how to actually pardon the insurrectionist . I don't know .

Speaker 2

Sad , sad Sad .

Speaker 1

Yeah , he left us a pretty , pretty terrible review . One star . But like , look , if you want to help balance out the ratings , you can go to pardon theinteractioncom . Leave us a review .

Speaker 2

Wait , wait , wait , okay , wait , okay . A parody .

Speaker 3

I was about to say I see what you did there , but then Ty was like I don't see what you did there , pretty much Anyway .

Speaker 2

Yeah , you can head to pardontheinteractioncom .

Speaker 1

Leave us a five star review . If you leave us anything less than five stars , I'm inclined to believe that you are a Republican .

Speaker 3

Couldn't have anything to do with my lack of preparation and talent .

Speaker 1

No , it's not you Totally certain of that , or drunk and co-host no look , okay , disclaimer before we even get started . I'm slightly , entirely . I'm less intoxicated .

I'm less intoxicated than I thought I would be as we're recording this podcast , because I , you know after , after , yeah , after a hard day of labor , I took the opportunity after work to waltz down to the restaurant bar and grabbed me a drink and the bartender made me like a triple .

It was like an old fashioned , but instead of like a single shot of Bert , or shot and a half , it was like three . So yeah , I was . I was quite shmammered , but for our pre-show meeting me Ty and Carol engaged in like a therapy session and then that gave me enough time to potentially sober up slightly .

Speaker 3

You really do .

Speaker 2

I feel like I look really pretty .

Speaker 1

You're extraordinarily pretty , Ty .

Speaker 2

I feel pretty today .

Speaker 3

I like while you were saying that , you were like I'll .

Speaker 1

The unfortunate issue with your degree of beauty this evening is that no one can see you , because this is audio for only format .

Speaker 3

She looks very pretty .

Speaker 1

But yes , for anyone , anyone who's wondering , ty's got her like . Her hair is down , it's extremely long and it's got like these soft curls and she's like brushing them as we speak . She's got a low cut top on .

Speaker 3

It looks real happy .

Speaker 2

Dipping down into her cleavage and my description of her , I've been getting a whole lot of dick .

Speaker 1

Congratulations Ty . I've been getting no dick . Maybe I'm doing something wrong here . I'm not entirely sure All right , my ex's number .

Speaker 2

I'm getting some , you know I don't know , dick , between those two .

Speaker 3

Yeah , all right .

Speaker 1

Ty , I'm not entirely sure we have the same taste in men . I want to pass on that opportunity to go , you know , clean up after your sloppy seconds . Anyway , we got a few .

Speaker 2

What was that I said ? Are my sloppy 40 minutes or 40 ?

Speaker 1

I don't know . We don't even say the number 45 .

Speaker 2

No , I'll say 35 .

Speaker 1

Yeah , there you go . No , we don't use that number either . That's , that's too close to remind me of how my ancestors were slave . I'm traumatized . You know , three fifths , that's how many . That's how much of a vote we got , although we didn't get it .

Speaker 3

Anyway , there's no numbers , no numbers of any kind .

Speaker 1

I'm sorry .

Speaker 3

We have one sponsor and we should just mention him real quick .

Speaker 1

Oh yeah , that's right . Sheets and giggles , Of course . If you're not familiar with sheets and giggles , they have the most incredible sheets , pillows , eye masks , mattresses , and I think he even got like some new flannel sheets for the holiday season on sale .

Speaker 3

Send me a pillow , colin Colin .

Speaker 1

Okay , carol , I'll tell Colin you need a fucking pillow , but yeah , he's listening .

Speaker 3

Thanks , Colin , for listening . You're a great sponsor .

Speaker 1

He does turn in every once in a while , but yeah , shootsadioscom the thought that he does is when it's going to be .

Speaker 2

Just fuck her off the rails .

Speaker 1

Absolutely so . Make sure , like it's the holiday season , check out sheetsandgigglescom . Like your family and friends deserve a wonderful night of sleep . Get them something good to enjoy a peaceful night of sleep with , from sheets and giggles . All right , so we've got a few headlines to cover here .

Hopefully we won't spend your entire holiday season with this one long , with this one podcast , although I'm sure we can make this thing 47 straight hours long with the amount of insanity it's been occurring in the political landscape . But where we're going to start off first is with the town hall that Trump attended .

That was hosted by Sean Hannity the past weekend , where Trump declared , after being asked numerous times by Sean Hannity whether or not he was going to be a dictator , the Trump said he was going to be a dictator on day one .

Speaker 3

Only on day one , don't worry . Once he's taken care of everything in his agenda , he won't have to do anything else because he's already enforced his agenda so effectively and , as you guys recall from his presidency , he was often good at affecting his plans instead of just a .

Well , I mean , I guess what I'm trying to say is he had a great health plan and the infrastructure week was off the hook .

Speaker 1

Yeah , we're still only two weeks away from getting his health care plan .

Speaker 2

We partied like it was 1999 when he got the .

Speaker 3

Anyway , that guy's going to be a dictator forever , until he dies , let's dick with a K ?

Speaker 2

CK .

Speaker 1

Yeah , hail Shetler , hail Shetler .

Speaker 3

No .

Speaker 1

I feel like it goes without saying that anyone that's running on a campaign platform of , yes , I'm going to be a dictator , but only for a day , is not only probably lying to you , but they must be fucking insane , because it's a democracy . Who's running on I'm going to end democracy .

Speaker 2

And pogrom the half the population .

Speaker 1

Oh man . Well you know , carol , you're Jewish . You have something to look forward to . You get to be interned in pogroms with the rest of the Jewish community .

Speaker 3

Ty me and you I'm sure you that doesn't sound like something to look forward to at all .

Speaker 2

Yeah , I'm not trying to be sucking dick for potatoes . Like how I envisioned my .

Speaker 3

I thought you were going to say I got to be a model minority first .

Speaker 1

Well , Ty , I don't think .

Speaker 3

I don't think you they wouldn't .

Speaker 1

Well , let's say hopefully you and I are black , so we're going to end up on the plantation . You don't have to worry about sucking dick for potatoes , because you're not going to get any potatoes afterward .

Speaker 2

Oh , that's not fair .

Speaker 1

It's unfortunate , yeah , but I feel like , just like it goes without saying . Just look , if anyone asked you if you're going to be a dictator and you're running for president , the clear and obvious and easy answer it's a layup . Should be no , I mean , I don't understand .

And then to like try and qualify Well , I'll only be a dictator for one day , it's like going to McDonald's and ordering a single French fry .

Speaker 3

So that would be silly and dumb , but at least once you won't . That would be more like saying you're only going to eat one of like an extra large , and then you still are going to because that .

Speaker 2

French fries cold . That's going to be the gag . Like it's not even a hot fry .

Speaker 1

Oh , my God man , I just and look . It was funny because like over the course of the week the media went from like not really covering it at all , but apparently someone got the memo out like , hey man , if he wins , the first thing he's going to do is come after the media .

And you know , of course this is this is commentary from Steve Bannon and Casper tell themselves saying that you know , day one in office they're going after the media . Someone must have got the memo , have been obvious .

Speaker 3

Like do they not realize their lives are at stake ?

Speaker 2

Like no , Carol , they're going to be a farmer .

Speaker 1

They think this is a fucking TV show , but someone must have got the memo , because I've been listening to a little bit of MSNBC , you know , over the course of the day , every day this week , in the last couple of days , they've been real heavy on Biden's . Economy is fucking booming , there's jobs everywhere . He's leading in the polls . It's incredible .

Like they've been , they've been kissing Biden's ass and I'm like , oh , they must realize Trump wins , they're going to die . The tune has changed .

They ain't talking about how you know , even like you remember a couple of weeks ago when we had those elections yeah , I know right , a couple of weeks ago , it's like an eternity in Trump years , we had those elections .

Republicans got their asses kicked all across the country and the first thing the media was doing , cnn in particular was was hopping on TV , stumbling all over themselves to tell you how Trump was leading in the polls and how , even though they were getting , republicans were getting smashed . It was bad for Joe Biden .

Speaker 3

Like which polls ?

Speaker 2

like they're like , oh well , the one the poll at the local piggly wiggly .

Speaker 1

My point is is they were ignoring actual votes , showing Republicans getting hammered to like shove down our throats how the polls are bad for Biden . That has disappeared , at least on MSNBC . Yeah , they out here telling the truth .

Now I guess they've realized like they've done a fucking poor ass job over the past three years telling the public that the kind of job Biden is doing .

Speaker 3

Are they're just getting enough ratings off of the Israel Palestine war ? No , I don't think that's I mean , yeah , maybe you're right , or maybe they're just . They got their own shit going on right now .

Speaker 2

That's not the story .

Speaker 1

I think they've just realized , a number of people have realized hey , they're going to wake up one day in 2025 , trump's president and the fucking you know park police or I don't know whatever fucking government agency Trump wants to use the HS . It's kicking down the door 30 rocking dragon asses out of there and locking them up . Yeah .

So now they're trying to make up for a missed opportunity by finally telling you the truth about the state of the country .

Speaker 3

And I hope you're right . I mean , I don't doubt that it's been happening the last several days , but I hope you're .

Speaker 1

I feel like if I could pinpoint a day , I would say it was Tuesday when I was listening to Chris Hayes' show and he was like Trump is up in the poll . I mean , biden is leading Trump in the polls and the media is not talking about it Like you're the media but you're finally doing your job . Great job . At least you , the one guy who's like .

And now everyone on MSNBC has changed their tune . It's fucking incredible . If you're listening to this podcast I don't know how much MSNBC you watch , but like , if you do , you know exactly what I'm talking about You're like . You probably realize that the changing tune yourself . But yeah , man , like just Trump should be disqualified from running for office .

This isn't fucking difficult . Like no one should be running on a platform of being a dictator . I just think anyway .

Speaker 3

They could release me from prison so I can go to my inauguration and then start executing people .

Speaker 1

Yeah , look , we're laughing about this . But if Trump wins , he literally is going to kill us all .

Speaker 3

So House Speaker , he may have to be released from prison for his inauguration . Let's not forget that part . See your laugh , I'll get a laugh about that when I'm being dragged away .

Speaker 1

Okay , you're making a joke , but Trump's literal only way of staying out of prison at this point is to win in 2024 . But if he does win , he ain't going to prison , or if he's in prison , he's getting out . They're not going to lock up the president of the United States , sadly , unfortunately not in federal prison anyway . And I guess there's like a .

Considering the way the supremacy clause of the Constitution is worded , it's entirely possible that states don't have the ability to incarcerate a president either . Let's just save ourselves from that fucking headache and vote for Joe Biden . Make sure he wins in 2024 . All right , moving on . And it's .

This is insane , because I'm normally the person pointing out how the media , like they , they note this insane shit and just move on from it Like it's totally normal on to like cats or whatever the fucking story of the day is . And we're doing the same thing , fucking here . But at least I'm telling you it's insane . All right , moving on .

House Speaker Mike Johnson announced that he'll be releasing sensitive footage of the Capitol on one six during the insurrection , but he'll be blurring the faces of participants in order to prevent them from being prosecuted by the FBI . Ty , why the fuck is Mike Johnson blurring the faces of people who attacked the Capitol .

Speaker 2

Go Well , it probably includes his own being that . He's a fucking insurrectionist .

Speaker 3

You know it's , it's as a professional courtesy .

Speaker 2

You know , basically basically he's like I'm gonna blur the faces of half of Congress or at least professional courtesy . Yeah , I mean he is the speaker , you know . I mean it's only the right thing to do , I guess . Yeah .

Speaker 1

If you're unaware of Mike Johnson's role at one six , he was one of the individuals in Congress who spearheaded the effort to present some amicus brief . Is that how you say it , amicus brief ? Yeah , I know some people like to say it amicus , I'm a amicus guy .

Well , that's what Powell says , and so anything she says , I'm going the opposite direction , all right , amicus brief to the court suggesting that the 2020 election was rigged and arguing in favor of anyway . So he's one of the fucking fake elector dudes in Congress who helped orchestrate that plot as well . I engage in a little exercise on Twitter .

I guess it's no longer Twitter , but , like you know , again , it's gonna always be Twitter in my heart . That's how I will forever remember it . We can call it Twix if you want to . That's like . That's the way I like to do it . I'm left Twix , oh no .

Anyway , so I'm engaged in this little exercise on the Twix , where I was asking Republicans that specifically , the MAGA types to explain to me who it is that attacked the Capitol on January 6th and why a Republican speaker of the House is blurring out their faces and let me tell you they ain't got no fucking answers .

Speaker 3

I don't know . I guess we're going to have to wait and not see what's on that .

Speaker 1

Oh , we're going to not see it . Huh , Is that a little joke about our upcoming dictatorship ?

Speaker 3

No , no , I was just mad because their faces would be blurred out . But they , yeah , I'm sure you'll still see their , not .

Speaker 1

Mike Johnson wants us to not see their faces .

Speaker 3

They want to not see their . Yeah , oh man .

Speaker 1

Hail Shiller ? No , but like it was really funny trying to watch people twist themselves into knots to explain how the people who attacked the Capitol on January 6th were in Trump supporters , but also while Mike Johnson was trying to blur their faces to save them from being prosecuted by the FBI . You know , also get another side note , like isn't .

Isn't that the very definition of giving aid and comfort to insurrectionists ? I don't know .

Speaker 3

Plus , maybe they're putting all those people up for some sort of you know primary suit We'll get to that . Candidates directly from that .

Speaker 1

They don't want Mike Johnson doesn't want you to know who's running for Congress at 2024 .

Speaker 3

Yeah , I don't know what the and if Donald J Trump ends up in jail and they can't run in the primaries ? Maybe that's there . Just the future president could be in that crowd .

Speaker 2

Oh well , that's true .

Speaker 3

The future , yeah , the future 2028 is going to be wild .

Speaker 1

Yeah Well , you know , sadly , he's only only going to be like president for a minute , and then he'll be dictator for a day , and then he'll be a king for the rest of his life , which I hope will be short , should he somehow manage to win .

Speaker 2

I feel like he should be reunited with all of his favorite people , including Rush Limbaugh , Pat Robertson , Jeffrey Epstein , Jeffrey Epstein and his first wife Just as friends , you know , just as friends and accomplices .

Speaker 3

That's all we mean .

Speaker 1

Do you think Trump was a big Henry Kissinger fan ? Because ?

Speaker 2

that was like . Well he is . Now that somebody told him that Kissinger and crayon was , you know , a genocidal maniac who killed people's people of color .

Speaker 1

I feel like now that he's like he was the one person in like all of like I don't want to say pop culture , but American culture that everyone was like crossing their fingers and waiting on a die . Of course he lasted a long ass time . But like now that that dude is gone , like who is taking his spot ?

Like what is like the person we're all collectively looking around like wondering , like damn , he ain't dead yet . It's got to be Trump , right .

Speaker 3

Rush Limbaugh still alive .

Speaker 1

No , he's burning in hell as we speak .

Speaker 3

So who's the other guy I thought was dead ?

Speaker 2

The one we thought with Newt Gingrich yeah .

Speaker 1

I know , no , that , remember . Mike Pence is calling him . You know , weeks before January 6th we been like hey man , are you sure I can't overthrow the democracy ?

Speaker 2

Well , that was like five people , though he literally went through his speed dial . He called everybody , everybody , everybody , like literally .

Speaker 1

I mean that is a pretty good reminder that , like Mike Pence , I had a question for you . What up yo ? Oh yeah , he was asking them like yeah , this is a perfect reminder that Mike Pence is no hero , and all of this Like he .

Of course , he did show up in January 6th to do the right thing , but does that constantly remind people that's the bare minimum requirements of the job ? Don't overthrow the fucking democracy . Like it's not that hard .

Speaker 3

He showed up after asking everyone he knew like to . You know , justify his .

Speaker 2

Give him some kind of out that he could do it .

Speaker 1

Yeah , and everybody was like no . And then secretly he was like well then , if I can't help overthrow our democracy , I'm going to just not go and let everybody else do it .

Speaker 2

Yeah , he's such a fucking whip .

Speaker 1

All right , then yeah .

Speaker 3

So you think he really was planning not to be there and it wasn't that they were planning to remove him from the premises because he wrote .

Speaker 1

He is actually planning on not going and then , supposedly over dinner with the son . You know , son served in the military and his son convinced him , you know , over the course of the dinner , like , hey , you know , we took the same oath to serve our country and the Constitution . You got to go do your fucking job .

Now , of course , like these notes that Mike Pence took a contemporary contemporaneously , I'm sure were written with like forward looking , with the idea that they might someday be made public . So I'm sure he wrote it in like the best possible light . But yeah , son , telling the main man , stop being a bitch .

It seems to be the impetus for him showing up on January 6th to certify Biden's election . Now , granted , again , we was all looking around on January 5th when Chuck Grassley was like what's the fucking thing on B here ? Right , we was like to do , we was like the meme with the black dude and he like looks to the side , what is he ?

Speaker 3

was agreed to not be there , and when he showed up they tried to make him not there again .

Speaker 1

Exactly , yes , yeah , that's . That's that makes like that whole tweet from Trump about how Mike , how Mike Pence doesn't have the courage to do what should be done . Even more incriminating even the Pence wasn't supposed to be there in all the Republicans knew it . Well yeah yeah , this podcast is going to be 14 hours , so we're moving on .

Kevin McCarthy , former House Speaker , and also Kevin McCarthy , former defense against the dark arts teacher .

Speaker 3

The almost former congressman .

Speaker 1

No , he's . He's now currently a former congressman because he announced his resignation saying that he was going to retire from the end at the end of the year . Piece to fuck out .

Speaker 3

He retired before the like the term what ?

Speaker 2

I guess I can finally put on my head a lettuce out now .

Speaker 1

Well they will . He was the termans next year , but yeah , so he's . He's out . Whoop-de-doo , boo-hoo , like no one shedding a tear over Kevin McCarthy leaving Congress .

Speaker 3

What piece of shit rises up in his place , what , what , which turned floats to the top of the toilet ? That is his district .

Speaker 1

You know what ? I don't even know . So , Ty , as you're drinking your tequila there , do you know whether or not Gavin Newsom is going to hold a special election in California for his district ? I do .

Speaker 2

I didn't do the last time for a while .

Speaker 3

OK .

Speaker 2

I don't know . I haven't heard any like murmurings about it really .

Speaker 3

But so I I forget what the time frames were , but I was reading that there are . I think the rules by which he has to call the special election , and it has to be within a certain , a certain time frame . But they may be able to delay it as far as like to align with the March primaries they're going to be having in California .

Speaker 1

I think there was a deadline . If Kevin McCarthy retired before that , newsom had to call a special election . But if it was after that deadline , then Newsom had the option to let the seat remain vacant until 2024 or call for a special election . I'm sorry , look , this is my fault . I should have just been more prepared . I should have looked that up .

I knew we were going to talk about this , I just been busy , if you don't know . So the , the , my , my day job is a very seasonal oriented in , in the sense that it's super busy for fuck and Christmas . So I haven't had like the opportunity to . I've just been busy .

So yeah , I'm not quite as up to snuff on the minor details as I would be otherwise , but yeah , he's gone , I assume if they do hold a special election in McCarthy's district I mean , who knows how they turn out it's been a couple you know 100 , 100 million dollars trying to replace that seat between House Republicans and House Democrats , because again , the

majority of slim , with him gone and Santos gone and a number of other retirements , the GOP majority is at two seats and I feel like all we need is a couple more in diamonds from Jack Smith's office If we can get our fucking majority back , kids .

Speaker 2

What's his name ? Ben Johnson is leaving to head some organization . Patrick Mahenry .

Speaker 1

Yeah , all them dudes .

Speaker 2

He's not coming back and Marjorie Taylor Granger hopes no one dies . So there we are .

Speaker 1

Well , I don't want anyone to die , I just want them to go to jail . In a side note , it also appears that the House Ethics Committee , run by the Republicans , is going to drop some sort of report about our Florida representative , matt Gaetz , and in his horn mongering with underage youths .

Speaker 2

I think that's not the word called horn mongering , that is statutory rape we are raping , while child sex trafficking is the oh , yeah , yeah , I won't you write because , yes , they were crossing state lines in order to drop .

Speaker 1

Yeah , so apparently whatever witness that was not engaging in cooperative talks with federal investigators has made their testimony available for the House Ethics Committee , which you know .

I feel like if you just want to go way off into reckless speculation land , it makes it sound like Republicans were freezing this person out , making sure they didn't testify to the feds , and now that they've turned on Matt Gaetz , they're like all right , pressure's off , you can come in and talk very , very strange .

Anyway , yeah , if Matt Gaetz is gone , that'll , that'll shrink their house majority to one , and then you know we don't . And then , we only need , like you know , some unfortunate accident to happen in . Democrats have control of the house .

Speaker 3

Well , is there any way we can politicize , like bike helmets and seat belts ?

Speaker 1

See , you're making a joke , but COVID is still with us , if you don't know , and I do . All right , look , sad moment . So one of my Twitter friends I'm not sure if either of you were following her , but what is it At Wifey Spice 90 . Sound familiar to you guys ?

Speaker 3

I saw , I saw the poster .

Speaker 2

No , I didn't . Yeah , I was following her , following her .

Speaker 1

Yeah , maggie is her name . I think her handles it Wifey Spice 90 . Something like that no longer with us , thanks to the fucking COVID . Oh yeah , so .

Speaker 2

I mean . So sorry to hear that .

Speaker 1

Yeah , it's not great , real damn moment . I liked her . She was very friendly and funny and just fucking unfortunate . But I mean , look , you know , covid's some real shit , even if you're vaccinated , I guess it's . Again , it's not a 100 percent guarantee that you won't suffer any severe side effects from covid , but you got a better shot than if not .

And I guess the only good news I can point out from that is a majority of Republicans are the ones who are vaccinated and aren't up to date on their booster shot .

So anything could happen , although I feel like Republican members of Congress their mother fuckers are getting like all kinds of secret fucking covid booster shots that ain't nobody ever heard of before , just like Trump got the covid shot before he left office and didn't tell anyone .

Speaker 3

Well , because he didn't want to . I don't know why did he want not people not to think he was taking preferential treatment ?

Speaker 1

No , I think he wanted to like continue presenting the facade that Iver Mectin was the cure for covid .

Speaker 3

I've got it .

Speaker 1

Oh , and hydroxychloroquine , or whatever you know .

Speaker 3

Bleach . It kills everything , including covid .

Speaker 1

And every , every so often I think about and look , there's been a look , endless crazy shit . That's that's occurred over the course of the past few years , I mean ever since Trump was elected in the office .

One thing I regularly go back to because it's just in my mind and it's like it just highlights the insanity of the Republican Party as it currently exists , and it's that elderly couple where they , the couple , looked at the ingredients of the fish tank cleaner and saw the hydroxychloroquine was an ingredient and they were like , oh , this is what Trump's been talking

about , let's go ahead and take it . And then the one the lady ended up in the hospital and her husband ended up dying .

Speaker 3

And your clerk when I was . That's the malaria medication .

Speaker 1

Yes . But , in this case it wasn't medicinal hydroxychloroquine , it was like some compound included in the in the fish tank cleaner to make it more effective and they just , they just ate the fish tank cleaner . Yeah , dark moment .

But I think about it regularly because I'm like this is like the most ironic twist to drinking the Kool-Aid that I've ever fucking seen in my life Hydroxychloroquine flavored Kool-Aid Well , I guess in this case , fish tank flavored Kool-Aid .

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