Paleo Bites - podcast cover

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and dexterity. So join Matthew and his friends as we embark on this prehistoric odyssey and review the dinosaurs from Aardonyx to Zuul as well as many other extinct beasts, entertaining folks while undoubtedly making serious paleontologists weep. Musical sting by Magnus Ringblom from Epidemic Sound.

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Episodes

Purussaurus, the Purus River Lizard

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purussaurus#/media/File:Purussaurus_BW.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Purussaurus , a dino-sized croc living smack-dab in the middle of the Age of Mammals. From the Miocene epoch, this 40-foot caiman lurked in the rivers of South America, which makes it really tempting to jump in the ocean instead. Oh, whoops, this is also when C. megalodon lived. I guess it was just a bad time all around. Also, you can purchase Matth...

Apr 21, 202020 minEp. 26

Dracorex, the Dragon King

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dracorex_BW.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Dracorex , the Dragon King of Hogwarts according to its full scientific name Dracorex hogwartsia , which is pretty damn nerdy. From the Late Cretaceous, this 12-foot herbivore was totally valid and not a young Pachycephalosaurus ; you hear that, Jack Horner?! Huh? You're not taking away the Dragon King of Hogwarts, you hear?! Who needs science and evidence when you have a c...

Apr 14, 202026 minEp. 25

Anomalocaris, the Abnormal Shrimp

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anomalocaris#/media/File:Anomalocaris2019.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Anomalocaris , the first super-predator in Earth's history, albeit "super" only compared to everything else at the time. From the Early Cambrian, this 3-foot radiodont ate plenty of delicious things while simultaneously looking delicious itself. Seriously, imagine this thing fried and breaded and served with cocktail sauce! My mouth is watering ...

Apr 07, 202017 minEp. 24

Pachycephalosaurus, the Thick-Headed Lizard

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/pachycephalosaurus_l_c101.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Pachycephalosaurus , the cueball-headed lizard that had a thick skull and a bad attitude; cue the stock joke of comparing it to some people you know. From the Late Cretaceous, this 15-foot herbivore apparently grew up with big spikes around its head that it somehow lost as it matured, according to Jack Horner. But what does he know? More than us, probably...

Mar 31, 202022 minEp. 23

Helicoprion, the Spiral Saw

(image source: https://www.newdinosaurs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/820_helicoprion_kezrek.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Helicoprion , the buzzsaw shark-like fish that's seriously metal. From the Early Permian, this 35-foot eugeneodontid sliced through fish and squids with the most hardcore set of pearly whites this side of... well, actual sharks. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , its sequel "Megazo...

Mar 24, 202024 minEp. 22

Sinraptor, the Chinese Thief

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/sinraptor... ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Sinraptor, Matthew's favorite dinosaur for some reason and the star of his Megazoic books. From the Late Jurassic period, this 22-foot metriacanthosaurid was the most awesome dinosaur ever based on our completely objective and totally non-biased analysis. Sorry, but facts are facts. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/...

Mar 17, 202024 minEp. 21

Prionosuchus, the Sierra Crocodile

(image source: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prionosuchus#/media/File:Prionosuchus_BW.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Prionosuchus , a big-ass amphibian that ate sharks. From the Early Permian, this 30-foot temnospondyl was an awesome mix of one of those giant super-crocs and a newt. Seriously, if a witch turned you into a newt like this, you'd never want to get better. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking he...

Mar 10, 202022 minEp. 20

O. megalodon, the Giant Tooth

(image source: https://cdnph.upi.com/svc/sv/i/361155... ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss C. megalodon, the super-shark star of B-movies everywhere. From the Early Miocene to the Late Pliocene, this 59-foot shark ate whales and terrorized beaches of old, except it was so big there's no way in hell it could get to the shallow waters of a beach. It's totally still alive today, though; I saw it in a YouTube video, so it has to be true! Want to further support the show? S...

Mar 03, 202023 minEp. 19

Utahraptor, the Utah Thief

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/ewilloughb... ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Utahraptor, the feathered fiend from Wyoming we all love, or was that South Dakota? From the Early Cretaceous, this 22-foot dromaeosaurid prowled the Colorado swamps and forests, or was it Montana? Seriously, I have no idea where this thing comes from. Little help? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald . ...

Feb 25, 202013 minEp. 18

Jaekelopterus, the Wing of Jaekel

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaekelopterus#/media/File:Jaekelopterus_rhenaniae_reconstruction.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Jaekelopterus , the giant sea scorpion that might have been the largest arthropod ever, because that's exactly what the world needed. From the Early Devonian, this 10-foot eurypterid snipped at fish and other invertebrates while remaining safely confined in the realm of storybooks and horror movies and not real life. This d...

Feb 18, 202018 minEp. 17

Cryodrakon, the Cold Dragon

(image source: http://cdn.sci-news.com/images/2019/09/image_7582_1-Cryodrakon-boreas.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Cryodrakon , the most Canadian pterosaur ever to Canada. From the Late Cretaceous, this 35-foot-wingspan azhdarchid pterosaur soared high above the woods while showing off the maple leaf pattern on its back like a true Canuck patriot. Or at least, that's what this paleoart would suggest. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megaz...

Feb 11, 202018 minEp. 16

Parasaurolophus, the Near Lizard Crest

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Parasaurolophus014_4de9.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Parasaurolophus , probably the most famous dinosaur with a genus name six syllables or more. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot hadrosaur made a lot of ruckus with its crest, riling up dinosaurs with loud noises and music beats. Such a party animal. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , its sequel ...

Feb 04, 202020 minEp. 15

Eoraptor, the Dawn Thief

(image source: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/dinosaurs/images/23911591/title/eoraptor-photo ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Eoraptor , the first dinosaur ever maybe, that was part theropod, part sauropod, part basal archosaur; you name it! From the Late Triassic, this 5-foot dinosaur was a tiny beast but an evolutionary giant. Also it ate bugs and plants. Not a specialist, but both. Seriously, just pick a diet. You can't have it both ways, Eo. Also, you can purchase M...

Jan 28, 202018 minEp. 14

Brachytrachelopan, the Short-Necked Pan

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/unlobogris/art/Brachytrachelopan-mesai-23241795 ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Brachytrachelopan , the "long"-neck dinosaur with severe anatomical inadequacy issues. From the Late Jurassic period, this 30-foot sauropod has such a short neck that the innuendos write themselves. Make sure this guy doesn't meet Mamenchisaurus , or he'll feel real insecure! Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Ama...

Jan 21, 202019 minEp. 13

Mammuthus, the Mammoth

(image source: https://www.nps.gov/bela/learn/historyculture/images/WoollyMammoth_1.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Mammuthus , the proper genus name of the woolly mammoth. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot-tall fuzzy elephant was the unofficial mascot of the Ice Age and survived beyond the construction of the Pyramids of Giza. For real. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , its sequel "Megazoic: T...

Jan 14, 202026 minEp. 12

Dreadnoughtus, the One Who Fears Nothing

(image source: http://images.dinosaurpictures.org/_a922.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dreadnoughtus , the titanic lumberer that might have been the biggest dinosaur ever, but who knows really? From the Late Cretaceous, this 100-foot sauropod fear very little. In fact, getting it to dread would be for naught. Ohhhhh, Dreadnoughtus , I get it! Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , its sequel "Megazoic: The ...

Jan 07, 202018 minEp. 11

Amargasaurus, the La Amarga Lizard

(image source: http://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Amargasaurus_PC_0445.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Amargasaurus , the spiky longneck that would be real fun at New Year's Eve parties. From the Early Cretaceous, this 35-foot sauropod was a real pain in the neck to predators...literally! That is, Amargasaurus 's neck was literally a pain to predators. It makes sense. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , it...

Dec 31, 201919 minEp. 10

Santanaraptor, the Santana Thief

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/pcab011_santanaraptor_70b8.jpg ) Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Santanaraptor , the primitive tyrannosaurid that's named after the Santana region in Brazil but has "Santa" at the beginning so we're doing it for the holidays. From the Early Cretaceous, this 4-foot theropod is sure to be a big help for the jolly ol' elf this season! Somehow. Who knows how. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosa...

Dec 24, 201924 minEp. 9

Megaloceros, the Giant Horn

(image source: https://www.newdinosaurs.com/wp-conte... ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megaloceros, the Ice Age reindeer on steroids. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot deer was one of the most majestic creatures of its day, if you don't count the woolly mammoth, or the woolly rhino, or the cave bear, or the cave lion, or the cavemen. You know, the first modern humans. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patr...

Dec 17, 201922 minEp. 8

Nasutoceratops, the Big-Nose Horned Face

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Nasutoceratops-titusi-splash-990x613_edab.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Nasutoceratops , the Triceratops relative with the horns of a bull, and that's no bull. Or another, better joke. From the Late Cretaceous period, this 15-foot ceratopsian rammed its way through the competition of its time, and that wuddn't no rodeo. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here...

Dec 10, 201920 minEp. 7

Stegosaurus, the Roofed Lizard

(image source: By Nobu Tamura (http://spinops.blogspot.com) - Own work, CC BY 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=19459399 ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Stegosaurus , the famous spiked herbivore with giant things growing on its back, except not in the gross way. From the Late Jurassic, this 30-foot-long dinosaur sashayed its spikes and plates as it strutted across the fern prairies, while skewering the snot out of Allosaurus legs. Also, you can pu...

Dec 03, 201921 minEp. 6

Arthropleura, the Jointed Ribs

(image source: https://i.imgur.com/2ERyciu.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Christina Eilert and Jake Chapman discuss Arthropleura, the car-sized millipede that's all kinds of nope. From the Late Carboniferous, this 13-foot arthropod terrorized the coal swamps of old and the nightmares of new. Except it was an herbivore, so it didn't really terrorize the swamps, but definitely still the nightmares. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content a...

Nov 26, 201921 minEp. 5

Giganotosaurus, the Giant Southern Lizard

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Giganotosaurus_BW.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Giganotosaurus , the meat-eater bigger than T. rex except maybe they were the same size except maybe Giganotosaurus was a little longer. From the Late Cretaceous, this 42-foot theropod terrorized the Argentinian wilds back in the day, possibly even eating the Argentinian dinosaur Argentinosaurus ! Whoa, Argentina! Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur b...

Nov 19, 201916 minEp. 4

Apatosaurus, the Deceptive Lizard

(image source: http://www.nenature.com/Dinosaurs/Apatosaurus.htm ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Apatosaurus , the famous longneck martyr that tragically fought off the Sharptooth that one time. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod ate a lot of trees and caused a lot of drama during the great Bone Wars. Exciting stuff! Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by c...

Nov 11, 201920 minEp. 3

Dimetrodon, the Two-Measured Tooth

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimetrodon#/media/File:Dimetrodon_milleri.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dimetrodon , the non-dinosaur that's every kid's favorite dinosaur, but it's not a dinosaur. From the Early Permian, this 15-foot long synapsid is the coolest dinosaur ever! Except it's not a dinosaur. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here , its sequel "Megazoic: The Primeval Power" by clicki...

Nov 11, 201923 minEp. 2

Ankylosaurus, the Fused Lizard

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ankylosaurus_dinosaur.png ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Christina Eilert and Jake Chapman discuss Ankylosaurus , the tank of the dinosaurs, except not, because it doesn't have a cannon. From the Late Cretaceous, this 26-foot long armored herbivore is sure to wallop you in the knees with entertainment and a big lump of bone and osteoderms at the end of its tail! Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon ...

Nov 11, 201927 minEp. 1
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