The crew are tramping aimlessly across the blistering and occasionally freezing surface of Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, otherwise known as "Bob") and things are pretty grim. Like, not even Brothers Grimm, more Quintuplets Grimm, plus a few singles and a couple sets of Twins Grimm. Just very very grim. I mean, they might survive, but even if they do, they're going to smell really bad, and does anyone need that right now? You've been listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Donna ...
Jun 26, 2025•32 min•Season 6Ep. 14
Have you ever been invited to a party you really REALLY didn't want to go to? Like, you won't know very many people, you're not sure how to dress for it, and the atmosphere is toxic? But you're being frog-marched by an army of ants onto an away ship, so you don't really have a choice, and you're sure the chances of getting anything decent to eat are hovering at slightly below zero? Yeah, well, welcome to our world. Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, or, affectionately, "Bob") ...
Jun 01, 2025•32 min•Season 6Ep. 13
Brought to you by the team that brought you Wolf 359, you know it's going to be good. Faith Adler has crossed the country to spend the summer in NYC. There she meets David, and the two of them quickly get mired in ... something. It's complicated. Together with friends Tori, Matt, and Ginah, Faith and David navigate situationships, friendships, found family, and all the messiness of being young. Faith is a DJ, and that pretty much describes how she approaches life — willing to scratch, skip, mute...
May 11, 2025•3 min
I'M SORRY, WHAT? HANG ON, LET ME GET TO A QUIETER PLACE, JUST A SECOND.... Phew. That's better. Things have gone bananarama aboard the Oz 9, and the crew has spent the last few hours trying not to get dysentery or squashed crossing a digital freeway. A few folks are hanging out in Meanwhile, which is basically a Narrators' Neverland with a few extra lost boys, and someone keeps trying to stick a fish in my ear. You're welcome to join the fracas, if you really want to, but wear a helmet and avoid...
Apr 27, 2025•25 min•Season 6Ep. 12
To everyone who responded to our blurb writer last time, they've been sacked. I mean ... does this look like message-in-a-bottle time? Using our show notes to get attention and complain about your job.... Seriously, we've no time for whingers 'round here- HA! April fool. Still me. It was lovely seeing some of you on the socials. I'd print out your comments, only I don't have a printer and the walls are too damp to post things on. Anyway, just wanted to let you know it's "spring" on the Oz 9, whi...
Apr 06, 2025•27 min•Season 6Ep. 111
If you haven't yet discovered the podcast How I Died, you are in for a treat! A ghoulish, scary, maybe-listen-with-a-friend "treat," but yeah, a treat nonetheless! How I Died follows the story of forensic pathologist (NOT coroner) Jon Spacer. New to the oddly fatal place to live, Springfield, Dr. Spacer has an interesting super power: he can talk with the dead. Actually, that's not that impressive, hell, I can talk to the dead, but his super power is that when they talk back, he can hear them. S...
Mar 31, 2025•29 min
Once upon a time, there was a blurb writer who dreamed of the back of book jackets or maybe even the inside front flap, or the little bit of copy under the picture in a catalog, or a word or two like "stunning!" or "ribald!" on a film poster, oooo ooooo, maybe even on the inside first few pages of a novel, somewhere just under Kirkus Reviews.... But no. Instead that blurb writer does...this. Gives hints on a podcast episode you're planning to listen to anyway so you probably don't even read it. ...
Mar 23, 2025•33 min•Season 6Ep. 110
Oooof, who cranked up the gravity? Feels heavy in here.... It's spring in the bioswamp, as much as it can ever be "spring" in space. Things are flowering, other things are ... I dunno, fauna-ing? Whatever the case, it's a bit rude round there, so maybe don't take the kids in for another month or so. And NO, I am not tearing up, I'm in the bioswamp in spring, these are allergies, for crying out loud. Or NOT crying out loud, more crying inwardly, little hiccups of despair- Oh, forget it. You've be...
Mar 09, 2025•32 min•Season 6Ep. 109
It's a Wednesday eve as I write this, and as I look out the porthole into the infinite recesses of space, I'm reminded how very small each of us is against the backdrop of eternity. Given how very very minute we are and how eternal space is, I have to wonder, how the actual f^&* is a crew member from the Oz 14 floating past my porthole just as I look out? I mean... what are the chances?! Nearly spilled my vodka tonic. Rude. You’ve been listening to... Pete Barry as Bob Tim Sherburn as Colin ...
Feb 23, 2025•29 min•Season 6Ep. 108
Hey, Space Monkeys. Have you ever wondered what happened to the earth Oz 9 left behind? I mean, I’m not saying we CAUSED the zombie apocalypse, but the math works out. (Sorry, Sweden) 150 years ago, the zombie apocalypse apocalypted all over the globe, and now there’s robots and zombies trying to wipe out what’s left of humanity. Cali, a settlement scout, has big dreams but scarce resources who’s just trying to stay alive, and Hannah, well, she’s trapped in her zombie body, hoping not to eat any...
Feb 20, 2025•26 min
-s the 1983 winner of the -nnu-l Dip your mittens contest, i -pplaud the l-rson brothers for their -m--ng skill -nd dedic-tion to the g-me. you've been listening to; pete B-rry as Bob Tim Sherburn -s Colin -nd Emily Bonnie Br-ntley -s Donn- -nd jessie D-vid S De-r -s Dr Theo Brom-e -nd Tiberius Eric perry -s joe, Dr von h-ber -et-er, mr Southers, -nd how-rd kevin h-ll -s Greg -nd Felonius Chrisi T-lyn S-je -s julie Sh-nnon perry -s m-deline S-r-h Golding -s mrs Sheffield S-r-h Rhe- W-rner as pip...
Feb 09, 2025•27 min•Season 6Ep. 107
So.... please take a close look at the episode art and tell me if you see anything funny? Mmmmm hmmmmmm. Apparently it took us a YEAR to notice. I blame all of you, frankly. You know what you did. You’ve been listening to: Pete Barry as Bob Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Bonnie Brantley as Donna David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae and Tiberius Eric Perry as Howard, Joe, and Mr Southers Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Shannon Perry as Olivia Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipist...
Jan 29, 2025•29 min•Season 6Ep. 106
It may not sound like it in the podcast, but life aboard the Oz 9 can be pretty boring at times. In the hiatuses (hiatusi?) between hair-on-fire moments, there's a lot of just puttering about in the inky void without much to do. So, we've been creating a game to while away the hours between crises. In this conversation, you'll hear us wittering on about this game and what it might eventually look like if we can scrape together the finances and the brain cells to get it out in the world. Keep an ...
Jan 19, 2025•33 min
NOTE: Stay tuned after the credits and all, for a trailer of a great new show: A Paladin's Bargain. You can listen to it in the usual places. You'll want to. Thanks as ever to Lucas Elliott for the new Narrators (or, Narrator and Tour Guide) artwork! It's Christmas eve as we publish this, and all of us monkeys wish all of you monkeys a very happy holiday season. We're hanging stockings over here (and about passing out from the fumes; just FYI space booties do NOT breathe) and hallucinating danci...
Dec 24, 2024•32 min•Season 6Ep. 105
YOU have a dirty mind. "Satan's Boletes" doesn't mean *THAT*. Although it does translate to "Great Satan's Fun Guys," so maybe it's still worth a giggle, as Mrs S says. Welcome to episode 104. Please put your tray tables and seat backs in the upright, we're-all-going-to-die position, because, well, it's Oz 9, and as usual, everything is trying to kill you. Let's just say our sound designer, dialogue editor, and voice actors pulled out ALL the stops on this one, so maybe dust off the old earbuds ...
Dec 07, 2024•32 min•Season 6Ep. 104
Oz 9 recently turned six, and while most of the crew asked for a quick and painless death for their birthday wish, we're still here. (If you want to give us a prezzie, we do have a Patreon, just sayin'.....) Anyway, there are fun things that happen in this episode, which is odd, so you probably don't want to miss it. Bring confetti. But don't throw it because it REALLY makes Joe nuts. You've been listening to. Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Chrisi Talyn Saje as Vera and Julie Sarah Rhea We...
Nov 23, 2024•25 min•Season 6Ep. 103
Some old nemesisisisisisises have reappeared, and that's ... unfortunate. But at least Bob has some colourful brochures to distract our team from their impending doom. So.... how many oceans is "too many," do you reckon? You've been listening to... Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Mr. Southers, and Joe Pete Barry as Bob Lee Shackleford as Pluto Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Chrisi Talyn Saje ...
Nov 10, 2024•26 min•Season 6Ep. 102
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Do you have ANY IDEA the literally dozens of hours you've wasted with this bunch of smooth-shelled walnuts? (and yes, that's a reference to their brains, I just couldn't quite make it work the way I wanted). I mean, it's probably not enough time to cure cancer or invent a really good cable organizing system, but you could have latch hooked a really nice rug by now, or made a portrait of Elvis with little rolled up gum wrappers, AT LEAST. You know what? Forget it. Do want you ...
Oct 31, 2024•30 min•Season 6Ep. 101
What would you do if you woke up on a newly terraformed planet (besides die of shock if you were on the Oz 9) to discover your husband has taken over Sanctuary city and rules with what can best be described as an iron fist? Did humans escape the frying pan of Earth only to find themselves in Mars' fire? This sounds amazing, and with Lily Rabe from American Horror Story at the helm, you know it's going to be amazing. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts! https://www.voyagemedia.fm/show/sanc...
Aug 19, 2024•3 min
While Oz 9 is on hiatus (or "in hiding for tax purposes"), it's a great time to discover some new podcasts to binge. So if you're looking to adopt your next best friend, we've got you, fam. Madison On the Air is a "love letter to olde-tyme radio." Madison is a modern-day influencer who gets mysteriously yoiked back in time and shows up in some old time radio episodes. She brings her own modern attitude and utter chaos to the stories, and there's a rich back-catalog of shows you've likely heard o...
Aug 07, 2024•1 hr 23 min
You're in the Oz 9 void — no new episodes until, what, Halloween or something? It's cruel, we know. We hear your howls of despair. But wait! We have something for you, to fill those long, lonely hours without Once-Captain Jessie, Colin, Mrs Sheffield, Greg, or Joe (Jesus!). Yes. We got you a hiatus prezzie, and we think you're really going to like it. If you're not already familiar with Curious Matter Anthology podcast, now is the perfect time to discover this amazing show. This season, Season 3...
Jul 02, 2024•1 hr 7 min
Well, ain't this a kick in the underpants? No one would have believed, on that random Tuesday in 2142, that the Oz 9 would still be kicking (mumble) months later. And yet, as we stare down the barrel of our 100th full episode, well, here we still are, just to the left of Uranus, clueless and shivering in the dark. But isn't that just the human condition, basically? I mean... if we're going to philosophize.... Oh, let's not. Pour yourself something naughty and well-deserved, prepare tissue for th...
Jun 25, 2024•36 min•Season 5Ep. 100
Listen up, Space Monkeys! We did the hard work of vetting a very fun new podcast for you, so now all YOU have to do is listen to it. YOU'RE WELCOME. It's Desert Skies, a quirky, comedic, and heartfelt sci-fi podcast about life between this world and the next. The story takes place along the road of a lonely highway at a gas station in the afterlife called Desert Skies Astral Plane Fuel and Service Station. The staff at the station help new arrivals in the afterlife get ready to embark on their j...
Jun 16, 2024•30 min
With the end of Season 5 just .... an indeterminate time but probably about two weeks away, the eternal Tuesday of the spotless (thanks to Joe) 9 is getting darker, scarier, and downright rude. We hope you'll join us (though in good conscience we can't recommend it) as we spin and flip and spiral out of control toward the last episode of this season. Bring lozenges — there's gonna be a lot of shouting. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Shannon Perry as Captain Madeline and Olivia B...
Jun 09, 2024•24 min•Season 5Ep. 99
It's time to check under the bed, make sure the closet doors are firmly shut, tuck any clown toys in your siblings' rooms or the freezer, and crank up the nightlight — things are getting spooky on the Oz 9. "Something is coming," and it's probably not bearing ice cream or prezzies. The crew of the 9 are in trouble, and though this is no big surprise, it is nearly the end of the season, so you never know.... Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Lady Nibble Biscuit Eric Perry as Joe, Dr von Haber Zetzer,...
May 26, 2024•27 min•Season 5Ep. 98
So, a few things to discuss here. Basically, don't do ANYTHING you hear in this episode. So, I guess there's really only one thing to discuss. Never mind. Some warnings: sounds of person drowning. Some painful but non-lethal punching. There are no credits on this episode, so I'mma do them here. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Eric Perry as Howard Oz 9's theme music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sara...
May 11, 2024•31 min•Season 5Ep. 97
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. Have you ever met a Kestochalian? Actually, you might have. They're sort of lovely, except when you want to thump them on the snoot. Which, to be fair, is true of a lot of living things. Also my computer. Which, if it had a snoot, would have been thoroughly thumped on today. ANYWAY, we made something for you, and if you've ever made a huge Sunday meal, this is kind of like that. We slaved all day, it'll be over in 20 minutes, and then we start over. Do I sound crab...
Apr 08, 2024•25 min•Season 5Ep. 96
Olivia frequently just gets bored watching the crew of the Oz 9 tangle themselves up in disasters of their own making, and lately she's been downloading podcasts to listen to. She recently stumbled across The Sprouting, a show about battling plants (wait for it) .... cleverly. And she liked it. Like ... a lot. She doesn't like ANYTHING, so we're all a bit shocked over here. Please take a listen to the supercut of The Sprouting, then find the show wherever you listen to podcasts! Dear listener, W...
Mar 25, 2024•1 hr 48 min
Well, cue the sultry saxophone and the wire-brushed cymbals, we're back for part II of our "noir" wormhole. We had high hopes for this one (as in, high hopes everyone would get shot and this nightmare would finally be at an end), but we're only down a tour guide, and even he just seems to have wandered off. Goldipants Detective Agency is hot on the heels of Red (aka Colin Smith aka Horace MacRory), the millionaire gangster whose morals are as slippery as his accent. Will Pluto and Donna track do...
Mar 14, 2024•24 min•Season 5Ep. 95
It's a quiet night on the mean streets of ... uhhhhh ... doesn't matter. And it's not that quiet, either. Lemme start this again. It's a Tuesday night, and the Oz 9 has slipped into yet another wormhole. But it's OK. This one comes with hats. You've been listening to: Lee Shackleford as Pluto Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Bonnie Brantley as Donna David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Shannon Perry as Madeline Kevin Hall as Greg Kyle Jones as your Narrator 2, a...
Mar 01, 2024•25 min•Season 5Ep. 94
