Square Patties, Birthday Wishes, and Mastering Parenthood

Welcome to Oversharing with Overvies . I'm Joe .

And I'm Matt .

And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails , go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you .

With that being said , let's get to oversharing .

This week Matt had his first Wendy's burger .

Oh , that's right . Yeah , Wendy's burger . I used to not eat them as a kid because they were square and uh .

Which we've said on the podcast before .

Yeah , I'm just . I was a notoriously picky eater . I'm still like a mildly picky eater , but I'm doing better .

I disagree .

Okay . About the mild part or the the picky part , the picky part .

I think that you've grown out of the picky part entirely . I think you have habits and routines .

Yeah .

I need to stop saying I disagree about everything you say about yourself , because I listen to an episode of the podcast and I hate how I interact with you . Why ? Because I do that a lot .

Yeah , what about it ?

I don't like it .

You don't like it .

Yeah , I want you to be able to just say what you think you are .

Well , and then you say what you think I am .

Yeah , but that's irrelevant . I don't know .

Is it ? It's in the eye of the beholder .

Yeah , I just feel like when you say like , I feel like I perceive that you think picky eating is like a negative thing about you .

Sure .

And so when you say I'm still a mildly picky eater , I think I get defensive for you , you do a lot of that .

You do a lot of like way . Now Don't say that about yourself .

Yeah Well , I don't know Anyway .

Somebody's got to do it , I guess . Well , they don't have to .

but Well , I just think you've come . I think you'll try anything . Yeah , I think your habits still keep you , like you know .

Yeah , I'll still order the same thing nine times out of 10 .

Right . But if somebody encouraged you to do something different . Or if we pick a restaurant that you don't usually go to , you're cool with that ?

Yeah , no , I won't be like , hey , I'll just not eat .

And to me that says you're not Well the not eating , I guess isn't .

I'm just saying that I won't say that .

Right , you will eat .

Yeah , yeah , I'll find something to eat .

Got it , got it Sorry .

I thought we were agreeing , but you're disagreeing with me .

No , no , I wasn't disagreeing , I just was misunderstanding . You know what ? Canceled . That's okay , I'm canceled .

That's bold . I don't know about that .

Oh .

I'm a burger .

Yeah .

I hadn't eaten one , I couldn't tell you . Yeah , I don't know if I've ever eaten one .

That was . The whole point is that you'd never had one .

Yeah Well , because nine times out of 10 , I'll just get chicken at a fast food place , whether that's a chicken sandwich they have great chicken sandwiches there Shout outs to Wendy's , or we just advertising for Wendy's unpaid . Or the nuggets they have great nuggets Like . That's just that's what I've gotten and that's what I get at McDonald's too .

So many people comment and we're like next he needs to try their chicken . Whatever it's so good . I'm like he's had the chicken products .

Oh yeah , the chicken sandwiches . I've had many of their chicken sandwiches , fine chicken sandwiches , and I'm saying chicken and sandwiches so many times . It's starting to not sound like anything to them .

I don't know that I've ever had a chicken sandwich from a fast food place .

Wow , is that your series ? Are we going to take a video of you eating a chicken sandwich ?

Yeah , I think I've only had . Well , I don't love a chicken sandwich .

But you're only doing burgers .

Well , let me kind of give some background . I don't love a chicken sandwich . Okay , why not ? I don't know there's something about it , Because you know Chick-fil-A is like , so popular , yes , and so many people say to me they're like oh , but I know I'm not supposed to go there or whatever , but I just can't stay away .

You're not a fried chicken girl .

I'm definitely not a fried chicken girl .

Well , I mean , they're fried chicken sandwiches .

I know , but I don't like their grilled chicken sandwich either .

Sure Well , the grilled chicken is kind of weird to me . I don't know , it just looks odd , sketchy yeah .

Yeah , I haven't like fried . I haven't loved fried food since I was a little kid .

Mmm , nice and out I get .

I eat it now , like there are some of them that I eat and I love it . A good chicken nugget , but , and I love Slim's chicken Sure , but which ?

is fried chicken . They have their own . It's a pretty seasoned breading .

That's what I'm getting at . I like there are fried things I eat now , but I think as a little kid it made me sick so often .

Oh yeah , not me . I can eat almost anything and not get sick .

Yeah , a lot of my like dislikes are really .

About how it makes you feel . Yeah , it's very feeling related .

Like that's . That's why I'm like yeah , it tastes fine , like , but every time I put it in my mouth , I associate it with being violently ill .

Yeah , the , the . The taste doesn't outweigh the feeling .

No , that's like me and drinking .

Yeah , that's true too .

Like I never get to a point that I am like , oh yeah , this is so much fun , I feel good . I get to a point that I'm like , oh , I feel viciously ill yeah .

Yeah , and alcohol , in terms of taste , is something that you can give up pretty , pretty easily most of the time Right .

You enjoy a little bit of tequila , but but I also feel like because of that , it makes me sound , which I guess it doesn't . It's not really relevant , but like I'm trying to be like , oh , I don't like this .

They just don't .

You're , just Because we have a friend like that who genuinely he doesn't like sweets . Oh , yeah , he genuinely does not like sweets , yeah , and I literally can't handle listening to him talk , so I feel like that's how I'm being right now .

Yeah , I'm not really prone to complaining about not being able to gain weight , but also doesn't want to eat any of the food that would make you gain weight . And he's like oh , you know , I just eat lean chicken and . No vegetables no carbs and very few fats . And yeah , I , just I can't gain weight .

Yeah , and it's real things , like I know you have really shrills . Anyway , I am just very self absorbed today .

Let's get back to your first experience with a square patty , a square patty , yeah , nope , as a kid wouldn't eat them . Ate it , it was good , it was a solid burger . I don't know Again . I don't have a lot to compare it to because I'm going chicken 99% of the time , so it's not like oh .

Well , that's what we discovered , because I asked you how does it compare to a McDonald's burger for you ?

Yeah , and I was like I haven't had a McDonald's burger in a decade , probably , I don't know .

You know where I never go that I know so popular what Taco Bell Taco .

Bell , yeah , yeah .

I honestly I don't get fast food that often , just period . It's mostly when we're on , it's just when we drive . Drive like when we're on road trips and stuff , road trips , but people really love Taco Bell .

Yeah .

You know , there's some friends that ordered Taco Bell . What .

Remember we had friends that got DoorDash Taco Bell and they lived like three minutes away from Taco Bell . I don't remember this at all . Anyway , it was a whole story .

Oh .

So they paid like triple the cost of Taco Bell to get it delivered three minutes to their house .

Oh , I don't remember that .

That's really when you know you're just Lazy , having a day Same .

I have lots of days like that . I have lots of days that that would make sense to me . I think my number one cost in life is convenience . Oh for sure , Like by a long shot . Yeah , like other people have , like I don't know , bad habits or interests or that they feel like absorb their Expensive hobbies . Uh-huh , convenience is my hobby .

Yes , yeah , I think my job to do something is what you are addicted to .

I am .

Very much like can they bring it to me ? Can it be brought to me extra fast ? Yeah , all of those things , let's do that ?

Can it be brought to me already all the work done ?

Yes , I'd like it all done ahead of time .

And I will happily pay for their time .

Yeah yeah , you're a big believer in paying for time . I am For sure , without your time , people , because she will pay you for it .

I will . Well , I will , that's true . Yeah , I want to not do things and you're expecting somebody else to take their precious time to do them . They should be adequately compensated . I don't think that's a crazy ask . No , I don't think so either . Okay . What I really wanted to talk about , though , was our conversation we got into about fries .

Oh , yes , yeah . So I have eaten both McDonald's and Wendy's fries in the last several years and we got into a debate on whether Wendy's fries or McDonald's fries we rate higher . And you said Wendy's fries and I said McDonald's fries .

I think Wendy's have a higher average . I think McDonald's has a higher ceiling .

For sure . I think good McDonald's fries are an A , an , a plus , like I think that's some of the peak fries are good McDonald's fries . Now there's a lot more variability . You can end up with bad McDonald's fries and that's a , c , a , d . They can be bad , but a Wendy's fry is consistently a B .

Maybe a B plus . Like at best they're a B plus , at worst they're a B minus .

I agree , or like a C plus , but your variability . If you want a safe fry , you can go Wendy's and you're going to get Wendy's . Salt fries you go to McDonald's , you could get anything , but they could be great .

But they could be great .

I'm addicted to the chase .

I love the peak , I'd rather just go to Wendy's . I really would , and I love something about a Frosty .

Yeah , yeah . What about a McFlurry ? How does it compare ?

Not comparable , not the same thing . They're not really the same product .

No , One's ice cream and one is .

McDonald's has a good chocolate milkshake , but it's still not the same .

I haven't had a milkshake . The only ice cream I've gotten there is ice cream and McFlurry's , which is just ice cream with stuff mixed in .

Their milkshake's pretty good . I love a milkshake . Talk about something that you would think would make me sick , but doesn't . Why does that make me sick , or not make me sick , but a fried chicken sandwich .

I don't know what makes you sick and what doesn't make you sick has never made sense to me , me either .

I always assume I have to have some kind of weird allergy .

I don't know . Maybe I think you're just kind of fat sensitive , but not really I know , because you would think a lot of the dairy stuff would get you , but some does .

I know so your mystery I can't do frozen custard .

Oh , but you love it . You love it so much .

I do , but that makes me really sick .

It is usually yeah , You've consciously made the decision before to go get it with the idea like this will probably be bad for me later . I don't do it often , it's like someone who's lactose intolerant being like , I'm just going to go for it .

Yeah , I don't do it often . It doesn't make me sick , though . The way that people who are lactose intolerant no , I don't know . I think there's a variety . Let's get into it .

Let's talk how your body gets sick . Yikes .

Okay , give a read . Up date of your week .

My week , roy turned one . We had a birthday party . Oh yeah , Wild birthday party Super Bowl . Our Kansas City Chiefs won the the big game oh .

Oh .

That was sad .

It was sad .

Yeah .

I . I'm a lifelong Chiefs fan , but I don't think we deserved it . No Well . I mean , I think Mahomes played really well .

I think that he like fought for the yeah yeah , you know very much but I sure kind of supposed to be there rebuilding years oh . I think they traded away , like some very important offensive players , to be like okay , well , we'll rebuild , and they've won the Super Bowl back-to-back years .

So well , you can definitely see the rebuilding . Yes , you can . On offense . I don't , I don't know , the 49ers just played so well and the stories were so good , and there's a player that's from Fayetteville , that went to University of Arkansas , who played for the 49ers and yeah , like .

Taurus Achilles .

Yeah , that's so sad .

Yeah , just getting up off the bench .

Yeah , what a way to yeah , that was a downer a big downer and so I just like I mean I'm a massive Chiefs fan , but I just feel like it was an ugly season .

It was like a lot of other teams played they did a lot of winning and they looked really bad doing it .

Yeah . But hey but I got it done . A wins , a win , wins a win so anyway , I was absolutely flabbergasted by the number of people that DM'd me because I put up on my Instagram story that , oh , what an end to an ugly , ugly season like .

they won a lot and they looked really good winning and they're like but what does it look like ? To look good , and I'm like I don't , I don't they made it look kind of easy and then the chiefs made it look really difficult a lot of the Year they made it . They were winning , but you're like man that looked hard .

I think that that's kind of the sign of a really excellent team is it looks easy .

Yeah Well , they just had so many , so many talented players all over , and then the chiefs had theirs crowd into some tighter areas . Yeah like hey , our defense is good .

Their defense really rocked it .

We have a good tight end , a decent line . Our wide receivers are Just some guys just doing it . Yeah , so that's American football and American fast food to start off the podcast . So , if you guys didn't know , we live in America . America hard , yeah , big America podcast America thing yes .

I did also get a lot of DMs from people who were international asking Like , can you explain to me what's going ?

and I'm like not really , I don't like I'm not the resource to go to .

Well , I think that , like football , has been so ingrained in me from when I because my dad loves watching sports , so I've been watching sports since I was such a little kid .

Mm-hmm .

That it's a little second nature rather than yeah .

You're like that looks right , that looks wrong .

Yeah , I'm like I don't . It was good , it was a good Activity for me to participate in and thinking you know what do I ? I don't know , I guess . Yeah , that's how you know . My opinion is not very valid .

Yeah , you're not like a sports pundit , for sure . No you're a casual observer for sure .

Observes often and I like the the social aspect .

Mm-hmm . Yeah , you just like watching people play on a team ? I really do . You could watch almost any sport if they look like they're having fun and they're on a team .

I really good .

You're like , I don't understand rugby , but they look like they're having a blast out there .

I told Matt that I I'm just like camaraderie I really do , boys being boys out there . Oh , okay , we took a turn .

Women being women , I mean it just . You want team sports .

I do . I love watching people be really passionate about things . It's why I love the Olympics .

Yeah .

Like the Olympics are so much fun because you just get to see people who have very passionately dedicated themselves to something and See them compete and be there . But like it's fun yeah .

Yeah , you . Just she wants to be on a team .

So badly that and I get really emotional .

When they lose . I get so sad you cried a lot during the Super Bowl .

I really did .

I don't . Even some of them I didn't understand . I missed a couple things .

Oh , at commercials . Yeah , I was trying to think of when I was like what plays ? Was I crying ? What are you talking about ?

I think you cried during the singing at the beginning .

I did .

Yep .

Yep .

Probably just cried watching guys stand there for the Anthem and I don't think it was about them .

I think it was about Reba . Yeah , it was about well , not about her specifically . Single mom .

Yeah , two jobs . Yeah , loves your kid and never stops .

Uh-huh , and , and when else did I cry ? There were some commercials that made me cry , for sure .

Yeah , which ones ?

the Commercial about the dad and daughter bonding over sports . Yeah that made me cry .

I'm saying yeah , I missed 90% . I'm trying to think .

I cried at the wicked the reveal of the wicked Advertisement . Wow and I'm not the thing . The thing that's funny about this is am I a crier ?

Not typically , but you've picked it up lately . You've acquired some crying .

I think I'm a crier at Taking in art and media art and media , yeah , I don't feel like I'm a crier in day to day Actually that's probably not true Like if anybody tells me they're pregnant I cry . Yeah , I'm a happy crier .

You're a big happy crier . You're a big news , life event crier sentimental crier .

Yeah , I Did . I cried a lot . I didn't cry about the 49ers with the confetti raining down on them .

But just standing out there . Yeah , I'm sad yeah .

I hate that part though .

It's the worst . I saw somebody on tiktok being like hey guys , don't you just go into the locker room ? Don't keep standing out there for 30 minutes and the other teams confetti , looking sad . It's just gonna get your picture taken just just going back in .

Yeah .

Have that moment in private , not to be put all over the internet .

It's so true but , maybe they're okay with it .

Yeah , no , I missed . I saw some of the first quarter and then I saw overtime and that was it . Yeah , I was putting our kid to bed and I was picking up your dad from the airport .

And Then there was overtime dad who works two jobs , this kids and yeah , yeah , I stayed back so I could help out my mom . Yep and Matt wanted me to get to watch the halftime performance .

Yeah , I mean , I figured that was you know your job is the internet . You have to see the halftime show . I'm I'm not a huge usher girl he was a little before not totally before our time , like Still had hits , still enjoyed , but he , he was big , big for I think I don't struggle three to five years before us .

I remember him being huge and I remember people loving us , but I just remember like guys , I I'm so broken . I remember his song Confessions coming out and being like I don't think this is a very nice guy , like why are we all ? I don't think he's very nice .

You know , stand up , but some of them are really bad people .

I know I don't understand it . Yeah like it's really hard for me to wrap my mind around .

Yeah , well , I think some people , you know , I don't think it's necessarily good for people to be worshiped .

I .

Celebrated on a level that is Extreme . I get that it's tough to reign in an ego when it gets pumped up to that level . But yeah some people are also just very talented . Yeah and so I .

Get it , I guess , because if I could sing I would be Sufferable , I Really would . I have no doubt in my mind . I would be painfully Incefrable you'd never stop .

It'd be like I would , everyone would know you'd be theater kid to the max for sure .

Oh , absolutely , and I don't even like , I'm not a theater kid at all .

Do you think that that's only ?

because I can't sing . I don't know , maybe I was like , no , don't want anything to do with this , You're not even that bad at singing , but I'm not good though no , you're not a , I was never gonna be .

An Alicia Keys .

Definitely no . I was trying to think of somebody way more Attainable . Attainable and it , Alicia Keys , wasn't even on my radar , gotcha .

Well , you know , gosh , she's incredible , she is , she is . That's why they you know .

Had her at the Super Bowl yeah .

I found out something before is that they get paid scale Like . Yeah , you were really interested about that , yeah it was , I think , a big article , Probably a lot of people saw it . But they get paid like the bottom end of Union scale .

Yeah , I don't know about any of that . No , it makes sense , though I think the Union is really interesting with all that kind of stuff .

Yeah , I don't really get how it works , but you know cool , let's just make sure that , like anybody and everybody , everybody and everybody gets paid what they're worth , even if they're at the bottom end of the scale .

Okay , so . So what's on your mind today ?

Well , should we do ? Bad Dad , mean Mom , sure . Some highlights some lowlights , especially in celebration of our second child's first birthday .

Our big old one-year-old yeah .

He is a big kid .

Yeah , he's a big one-year-old , he's a big boy . Do you have a A Bad Dad ?

Bad Dad . What is he ? I have a mean mom to start . You have a mean mom , yeah .

I got the smash cake , but I didn't get the smash cake . So for his first birthday , I was in charge of getting the cake and I , for G's birthday , just the morning of , went and picked up a smash cake from the local bakery rather than getting something custom ordered , and they had all kinds of options , and so I planned to do the same thing .

In the combo of chocolate and lime green , Lime green .

Yeah , I was like ooh . And so I ended up getting a like party sized like a 12 inch round , because that was the only thing they had . So his smash cake didn't fit on his little thing and I couldn't let him just dig into it because people wanted to have some of the cake .

Yeah , it was also a 12 inch round , which is a little large for a one year old in terms of quantity of cake .

That's mean mom is he didn't get the traditional smash cake experience . He still got to smash a cake , but yeah yeah , hey , but then everybody else got cake .

Yeah , let's go .

He was digging in . He enjoyed the cake . Bad dad . I put off a lot of the party prep until pretty last minute . I was getting the yard ready . I was cleaning the bounce house 30 minutes before the party . Yeah , there was a lot of that . There was a lot of oh , the party is about to happen , let's do all the party prep . So could have done better there .

Did you feel like you really got pushed up against on the time , like why do you feel like you were rushing ?

I think that's a bad habit . Slash proclivity of mine is to wait until the pressure builds to an almost unduable level and then be like , okay , now you have to do it and so that's a wiring issue that I'm working on . Okay , I hate it . It's a reliance on pressure to do things .

C's get degrees .

Yeah , some D's , even if you take the class again . But you know .

I don't think that's how parenting works , just so you know . Nor marriage , like I don't think that C's and D's yeah . Only is that advice for class , healthy kids and happy marriage .

Yeah .

That's a good point .

It's good food for thought .

Voice that to everyone listening .

Don't apply that universally , don't apply it at all . Actually , be better , be better than me Be .

Be better , do better . It's our motto I uh .

Do you have any Greg's reads ?

Only a handful .

Speaking of parenting .

We said we were going to only do three .

Yeah , yeah , we're trying to limit the anxiety because Greg is your dad . He reads a lot of news , he sends a lot of articles on things that I don't know if he thinks are relevant to us or if we need to know them or if he found them interesting .

Well , the first one's actually from mom .

Oh , whoa , I know but it came Catherine's read of the week .

The thing is , I wonder if it actually came from mom or if dad was on mom's phone .

But maybe I'll judge based on the title here .

Accepting discomfort could help you thrive .

Oh , that's a 50-50 for me . I don't know that could be either one . Now , in terms of anxiety , give it a two , two and a half . I think that's some pretty like that's true .

Now , I don't love discomfort , so I that doesn't give me any anxiety . I like those kinds of articles .

Yeah .

Like that's a kind of article that I enjoy a read .

Something you feel constructive about . Yeah , yeah .

One out of five for me . The next one is advice . How well do you really know your partner ?

Mmm Three yeah .

It's a little more for me , like a three is probably pretty no .

I actually . I mean , I feel pretty good that we know each other fairly well . We're usually on the same team .

But Usually , you never know .

You never know , guys , you really don't .

And then the third article Couple spent zero dollars to launch a business from a tiny apartment . It brings in twenty six point five million dollars a year .

Oh , how much anxiety does that give me ? How do you feel about it ?

It doesn't give me any anxiety and it's actually funny , yeah , uh , because the article that he sent me is actually about somebody that I have followed for years and years and years , okay , and I have a mutual friend with her , oh , and she's awesome , okay , and so it was kind of one of those things that I was like ha ha Small world .

Yeah .

It more catches me off guard , but I don't think it's anxiety inducing . So what do they do ? What's the ? They have a photo editing app . Oh , building an app . That's smart . Yeah , if you can do it . No , I don't believe either one of us can build an app currently , but I bet you could . I would . It takes some learning , for sure .

Word of the week . Word of the week . I really did not nail that tune , that's kind of a minor key . Somebody made a suggestion for what our voicemail song should be in my DMs the other day and it was really good . I don't remember what it was at all and I did not write it down , but Perfect , it's okay , I'll go back , we'll find it .

We'll figure it out .

It was good . Whatever it was . It was , you guys are so much more clever and brilliant than I am .

Much cleverer than us . Okay , what's the word of the week ? The word of the week is maledroit , maledroit , maledroit .

Maledroit .

Oh , that's a little flare on it , maledroit .

Maledroit , it's an adjective , okay .

Okay , maledroit is an adjective that means incompetent or very awkward . It is usually used in formal speech and writing and often describes people who lack skill in handling situations . They're maledroit , joe is maledroit .

I should get a shirt and everything .

She just can't handle anything . Well , yeah , is that the gist ?

Joe is maledroit at existing .

Yeah At existing , I'm gonna get a shirt .

I like that , I feel like that Maledroit at existing .

Yeah , there it is . That's the t-shirt . Print them up .

Don't you feel like the way I used it was kind of maledroit .

It's fine , you did all right . Lacking skill .

Yeah , I , if anything about me to know it is skill .

She lacks . I mean , you're running on all cylinders , you're looking refreshed .

Oh .

How much sleep have you been getting ?

Not very much . Yeah , no , no . So we've had the joy of having my mom here for what A week .

Yeah , not quite a week , a part of a week .

And I sleep a lot less when it's when my dad's not here . I sleep a lot less because I take on everything that he usually does , but then I also have all of my normal stuff .

And two kids and two kids .

Yeah , it's good . I really do enjoy my mom being here . It's really nice because we get to talk and we get a lot of one-on-one time , which we just don't get a lot of time like that in the season of life . I don't think that that's uncommon when you have kids and you know there's just a lot of stuff going on .

Yeah , not very much .

Five or six nights . I was five hours or less .

Not all in one sitting , and not all in one sitting , yeah , which is not a good spot for you .

No , it's not .

That's more my territory .

Yeah , but we've been doing better . Yeah , we can talk about that .

Yeah , we went to bed like at a reasonable time last night or 11 . Yeah , it was good . It's good stuff . Yeah , I woke up this morning . I was like whoa .

Did you just what it ?

feels like to like sleep even close to enough .

That's crazy , because I woke up this morning and I still did not .

Yeah , Great , I don't know Well that's it was probably two hours more than I normally sleep , so well , mine too . I like a game changer .

I slept way more than I usually sleep , yeah , and I still still wasn't enough . I think I'm all kinds of off across the board . Yeah like I need to re-overhaul my . I Need to overhaul my eating . I need to overall my priorities . I need to overhaul probably just everything I've really let life get away from me . What yeah ?

that's uh , it's tough . You just overhaul your entire life . No big deal , it's just habits .

Yeah , it doesn't have to be this big makeover of doing things perfectly . It's just a lot of small changes in order to , overall , be doing a little bit better . Yeah , and a little bit better and a little bit Better . I'm not trying to twist and contort to do it perfectly all the time , trying to optimize , sure , okay . No , optimize , optimize , okay .

But let's get some voicemails first .

Boys mails .

Oh Time .

I love yep .

Hey , john , matt , I hope you guys are both well . I don't starting off , I don't have a question , but I just wanted to send in a message to Maybe vindicate Joe a little bit . In the last pod there was a bit of debate around whether crispy was hot or cold and , to be honest , I personally have never heard it being used for cold weather .

Oh , sarah blows my mind . You listen to our podcast . So truly , guys , I actually know Sarah in real life and Well , kind of sort of , I feel like we're so connected , but it's like just to just enough degrees separated that I don't know if I'm actually allowed to claim Sarah as one of my friends , but I do in real life , even though she's in Australia .

Yeah , it is definitely a more internationally used .

Well , that's what a couple other people of our international listeners messaged me and we're like oh , I use Winge all the time . Yeah , and I don't know that I've ever . Maybe it's gonna be cool , maybe it's gonna be the next like it's gonna have a come up .

Maybe , In American culture , you might also sound like you're trying to be international when she's in cool ?

No , it's not .

Yeah , but we'll see . Maybe you can use it organically . That's gonna be a fine line .

I feel like everything I do is uncool , Like if I do it , that's probably a sign that it's not cool .

This isn't the place to come for cool stuff .

No , absolutely not . Let it be known . I don't think anybody listening thinks that .

They're not . You're not here for the latest and greatest cool coolness .

Not so much .

Okay .

Which is fair . Hi Joe and Matt , this is Catherine from Denver , colorado . I have been following you guys for a long time , since before your first pregnancy , and originally it was for plant content . I love all of your plants they're gorgeous . But anyways , I had a question for y'all .

I don't know . I think that first job is just really tough because it's a huge shift in your energy , and so the first thing I'll tell you is , over time I feel like you adjust more and get better at working that traditional nine to five and things will get a little bit easier .

Yeah , and it's on you to make that balanced initially , and it's just something you're not used to and so it's tough . There's very much an adjustment period of how do I do this , where do I go , and I feel like I'm not a good authority because I did only work that schedule for 20 months .

Yeah , Like I got into it and I hated it . It did not work for me . I did like I just I couldn't do it . I mean , if I had to I would , but I very quickly was like you know what , I don't have to do this and I went out on my own doing wedding photography , which is going to kind of take us to the next point of having opposite schedules .

Yeah .

Very much because Matt worked a traditional nine to five and I was doing a white , well self employed photography where I was working on the weekends and I was working in the evenings , and so our schedule was really disconnected for a while . But I also think that for us it kind of like we knew it was a season .

Yeah , it's not forever and that's kind of the only thing you can hold on to , I feel like , is we'll work it out , we'll get better at it over time , but that initial period is just kind of rough , yeah , especially . Yeah , yeah , they don't operate bars and preschools at the same time .

No , isn't that crazy . They really should . I don't know that they should , but Well , if you think about it , that's the time that the parents have childcare .

Yeah , are you proposing ? They open a bar that .

A child with a childcare situation with a bar .

There you go . Okay , this is an interesting thought . It's making sense to you .

I backed the question . Just ignore me . Is time small changes , intentional moments to make sure that you're connecting and good luck .

Yeah , Get things on the calendar and work out how to keep your , your work and your the rest of your life separated .

Yeah , I've never known how to do that .

You haven't had a lot of clearly defined lines . Usually you work from where you live , and that makes it inherently much more challenging .

Yeah .

I don't disagree .

All right .

Hi Joe and Matt . I am calling in from Texas and I had a question for you both . If you could acquire a life skill or trait that would not significantly impact your life , what would it be for me ?

The examples are so appreciated .

I think I'd like to be good at like skateboarding .

Oh , okay .

Mainly because our Todd they're just got a skateboard and I was like I'm not good at skateboarding . I've never been good at skateboarding .

Well , let's get adult boards , let's get long boards . I don't know why .

I feel like I'm going to badly injure myself .

Shelby just learned we'll get you pads .

I don't trust it . I don't trust it . Maybe we'll think about it .

We can get you wrist guards and everything I boarded when I was a kid .

Yeah .

Up until like teenage years I did it . Then , as I came into adulthood and got aware of how I can hurt myself , my confidence really took a nosedive , and so now I got scared of life and then all of a sudden you got real scared of doing lots of stuff .

Yeah .

I don't know , because maybe like really good at sewing Okay , not like the world's best or anything , obviously , but just being able to quilt and do some of those like because I can sew but I think there's this level of talent with it that it can be a really useful thing to provide to your friends and family .

Just a functional proficiency with sewing , yeah , yeah . I would also like that , but , yeah , I feel like skateboarding , something like that , okay , something you can enjoy with your kids . I don't need to be world class .

Yeah .

But it would be cool .

As we're both talking , I'm like these are things we could probably learn . Yeah , we could just go Like she said singing , which I feel like we can't really learn .

Yeah , you can practice singing . Okay , like I could do an instrument too , like I would love to be at least a functional guitar player again . There was a period where I was not good by any means , but I could play the guitar . I don't know that I can play the guitar again .

All right , last voice message for today .

Hi , joan Matt . I am a 22 year old from Oklahoma and a senior in college . I'm having a hard time making a decision that will impact my future . Right now , my college town is an hour away from my hometown and two and a half hours away from my middle sister who goes to the U of A in Fayetteville .

Oh , I've never had in person relationships Like that's how so few of my relationships have started . That it's really all I know . I feel like consistent in person relationships are actually kind of an oddity for my life , yeah . Yeah , I guess I could see that because my sisters didn't live in the same state as me growing up , so just stay connected with them .

Yeah , you can definitely always move , and something you said kind of stuck out to me is the people around you may not feel prioritized . This is a time in your life where you're gonna have to start prioritizing yourself and getting some practice with that .

Always be your number one in most situations . I think that's something I'm kind of learning in my 30s is I think that I think in my teen years and my 20s I was so easy to accept from others that , oh well , things are easy right now because you're a teenager , oh , things are easy right now because you're in your 20s .

But the better you can do it now , the easier it will be when you have to make harder choices in the future , when you have a partner and potentially children or whatever else you might have that complicates that , or a more established career .

And it's hard . I don't know . I think that season right out of college , for me that was one of my hardest transitional times , just because I don't feel like I had a lot of people prepare me for emotionally entering the real world .

Yeah .

And I know that's not really what you asked .

All right Emails . Hey , joan , matt Just want to say I love the podcast . I listen to it every week while at work and it makes my day go by just a little bit faster . I do have a question , probably more specific to Joe . I'm a 22-year-old single mom and I just recently moved into my first apartment with that two-year-old daughter .

Get a dog .

Get a dog yeah .

Not that's the solution . That could very much not be the solution for you , but that's what I did , because I remember living alone and , honestly , looking back , I kind of wish I would have been able to get a big dog .

That's going to say you got a 15-pound dog .

Yeah but even that , the thing about even a dog , it's having another body with you that is on alert . Because when I lived alone in my apartment , if somebody would have been on my porch or if somebody would have come to my door , boji would have barked , she would have let me know that something was .

Yeah .

And so that's kind of my immediate thought process . That's what I did .

Yeah , yeah , that's actually again . I'm not the most qualified to Well there's a six to man . I haven't had the same feelings of insecurity in terms of my physical safety much in my life . So yeah , but I think that's really good advice is get a pet .

I also wanted to note that there's a lot of statistics out there that say it is less likely for something to happen If you have a pet or dog in the home like there's . I know there's all kinds of statistics that back that up , so you may look into that too , just as a note . That's what guided me there .

Yeah , I think it comes down to just giving yourself a little bit more of a plan and preparedness . And yeah , I like the dog idea . But if that's not fitting for your situation , totally I'm like taking out of dogs a lot . Yeah , yeah , you're a single mom .

Yeah , but it just it made me feel so safe .

Yeah , you know yeah , okay , one more email and then you got to go . All right . Hi , joe and Matt . First off , love you both so much in the content you provide . Thanks for being highlighted every week . I love your thoughts and feedback on this . We have a 16 month old and we are lucky that my mother-in-law cares for three days a week while we work .

Oh gosh , it's so hard for me to have an opinion on this because I don't there's too much of my own stuff in the way to give you an unclouded response , because for me we don't have help from family and stuff , and so my immediate perspective and response to that is oh , who cares ?

Sure , yeah , it is really tough because you are getting help and , yeah , it's just a really delicate situation without knowing your relationship with your mother-in-law and how you're back and forth is and how comfortable she is receiving feedback and critiques .

And I definitely am trying to put myself in those shoes because I understand that there are things that if I asked somebody not to do them , that they did it would really actively hurt my feelings .

Yeah , I think maybe the way to approach it is just to say , hey , I'd have loved to have been consulted . Here's the limits around screen time we'd like to provide . If that's going to be a tool you have to use because , again , I mean , you're also a parent , you know it can be a lot sometimes . So , yeah , maybe it's .

I think that's the important part is making it clear that you feel disrespected because it was not communicated , and less about like you don't trust your . I guess it depends on how you feel , yeah , but I'm sure that that's where the defensiveness would

Yeah , definitely , framing it , and like I'm bothered because I wasn't consulted about it . But I really appreciate the help and , like we , understand what you're providing .

Well , because you guys can work for solutions . Maybe that isn't screen time , like if she's feeling overwhelmed and needs a break or a moment to be able to step away and decompress . There might be other solutions other than screen time to replace with which is I'm sure what you're thinking too , and so go ahead and bring that to the table . I don't know .

It will happen with lots of things , so for sure .

Well , on that note , I'm rushing off to another appointment , and so love you guys . I'm glad we got to chat .

Adios , bye , good luck .