Alligator Alcatraz (Charles' Angles, Vol. 3)

It's a prison camp for migrants. I thought it was for alligators. No, it's the alligator. They literally putting it in the Everglades. So if they escape, they'll get eaten by alligators. Laura Loomer tweeted, I hope that the alligators eat all these, like. Holy shit. They're really. You don't think they're going to tame the alligators? I hope so. You know, ride them to freedom. Yeah. You don't think D.C. is going to become a swamp yet again? All right.

Currents, after all of these violent and skilled gang members figure out how to harness the power of the alligator. Yeah, that's how it's really going to backfire for us. Yeah. The storm, the capital. Yeah. These are all. Yeah, all the way up. Jan six, five year reunion's going to be way crazier. It's the sequel called 2nd January, two, six. This is. I don't know. I'm trying to think of, swamp action Jan six or Travis Swamp or X, and that's what I get every time I go to Tampa.

doesn't drink, I don't know what they're pumping. That guy full of. It's 79. His oldest president. Gotta be somewhere. Yeah, it's got to be something I watched a video the other day of, the,

this guy who, like, summarized sentences that he said talking about alligator Alcatraz. And he's just like Biden. They can get it together when they need to if they're in front of the nation. But when they're just giving so many press conferences, they're like, what do you think about the alligator Alcatraz? And he's like, flip flops on a Sunday seem good sometimes. And they're like, what? And you're like, yeah. So they're all just at that age.

That's why he needs The Graduate to just seeing talented children. Yeah. Having people flown into him. And not in a weird way. Yeah. I mean, children flown to an island where there's very little oversight. And so they can perform for him. Massages. Come on. Did we ever hear Queen Elizabeth speak about no shampoo and Cheerios in her mind? I can't I can't imagine she could make a sentence. How old was she, like, in the 90s? Yeah. You reach an age where you can't. Yeah.

And that's okay. Yeah. You don't need to be a public figure. You can just be the symbolic head. Yeah, yeah. When you get in there. Is she. She's so fat. He's such a fat little hamster. He's adorable. Yeah, yeah, he's a good meme. He's a great meme. He might be a human, too. I'm like, I can't tell if it's. I saw a younger clip of him today. Bree beard. He's so much fatter without a beard. He's so jolly. It's so funny. Your hair somehow lessens the. Yeah, it's like shadow it I don't. Yeah, yeah.

You think that it would just round the puff. Yeah. And you'd be like, oh there's the highlighted part J Vance and Trump are both using hair very well. Some of their worst features like Trump Trump's totally bald. He's got to be extremely hair working. Yeah that it's working hard. Yeah that here's the remaining staff of Twitter. Yeah. Left. Yeah. Putting in the effort every single day. They're like come on overtime. Yeah. Another spread. Yeah. It's funny that JD Vance is such a little pudge boy.

You just see him as like a high school. You see his face. You're like loser. You are a loser in high school. This is so. Chelsea. I want to give you a fluffy bunny and show your head in the toilet. Boy, do you got. Yeah, I got a bunch of random angles. I tried to find some July 4th stuff. It was pretty boring. I tried to look up some independence for other countries. It was pretty boring. Just take a brief pause and say that July 4th in general was for. Yeah, there's nothing.

There were three presidents that died on the 4th of July, but it's boring. Yeah. No, no. If you look at a firework and you get chills, start drinking. Grow up. Yeah. Diana, how's that being said? I went to go see some fireworks the other day. Well, me and my girly walking over from the gym, and we saw them, so we followed them. We are. We are those. Are they on an ice cream truck? How do you. They kept it. Took us a week. We had to fire somebody. I jump in a taxi.

You follow the fireworks, you go. It. I'm used to this, brother running away. Yeah, okay. In America, everything different? Usually we. Okay. What's going on? Yes. Of course. That was Scotty, the Uber. So then I found just a bunch of ceremonial things from ancient cultures that we get potentially riff on every riff commencing on Earth.

All right, so here's some Mayan ritual bloodletting. Rituals were a major part of Mayan religious life. Kings would pierce their genitals with stingray spines or obsidian blades and bleed onto paper, then burn it to send their essence to the gods. They're gonna send it to their ex. I would love to send it. This is a piece of paper. This is ball blood again. Why is he doing this? This is you just write in your own ball blood. I still think of it. Yeah. I don't want to open it.

He's the before I change. Yeah. Hahaha! Don't tell me what you says. No. Tell me, tell me please. She's at the door. I don't want to. He's the king. You have to open it. But I know what it. She sends a letter back. You're like, where do you get her blood? Yeah, because if it's test, that blood test I'm going to be. Really? Yeah. Last time it was pomegranate juice. You can't trick me again. Fool me once. Blood on me. Also, like, what are you.

You're sending your jizz, your testicle blood to the gods? Yeah. I'm sorry, I heard x, but what? It's to the gods. It's to send their essence to Santa. Yeah. There you go. Here you go. God, yeah, yeah, yeah I do. I always wrote my letters to Santa. Yeah. Just so you know. As for me and I do a finger print. Love King. Not going to know. Some kids forging my Christmas list, trying to give me his breast. That's a big problem. Santa is concerned about the anthrax letters.

Oh, yeah. He had I didn't know. I didn't realize you missed the reports. Yeah, a lot of elves died that way. Yeah, designated letter openers. Yeah, a lot of kids. Yeah. He was in his bunker. Yeah. No, I'm telling you, I'm not opening that stuff. You know, the chain of command. Yeah. Mrs. Claus, that if she dies, it's Rudolph, and then it's real. Doesn't know what. Yeah, it's not a fan of, but it's a special place in my heart. Yeah. To the gods. Wow. What?

So what would they wish for with their ball blood. Just like a fat harvest I think so, yeah. A lot of sacrifice in the minds of those. What they would wish for because I think here's a fun little fact. You know the game that everybody's aware of because we watched the Disney movie El Dorado. Yeah. The ball. Yeah. The hoop. Ball to the death. Yes. But an other is so dependent. So I don't play. I don't want to die, of embarrassment. And this city, all of the kids recently, I freaking suck.

Yeah. It's tough. You have to be. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah, you have to be confident when you do this. And then it's like air, but you're like, oh. Yeah, right. Guys, I believe in that one. But I didn't know this. Depending on the, the the game's called Hook to Park, but the winners could get sacrificed. Yeah. Or. Yeah. So it was this whole obsession with getting sacrificed, but I just don't. You guys want, I bet like to imagine somebody didn't know what.

But we won getting pushed into a volcano. But we won. Yeah. You win. Heaven. Now stab your balls and jump in the lava. You're a winner. Give us the rest of your ball blood before you come on. We need to send it to our access. Love a letter? Come on. She's not written anything back. Which means I going to write more. Oh, she loves it. Harassing. But I gotta show her that I'm putting in. She loves a persistent king. Those are the real short kings. The Mayans? Yeah. Oh, man.

You guys were like, four. Yeah, they had to be, a death ball even harder. Yeah, well, the the hoop was probably pretty like when you see a kid who you'd be, like, dunking on it. Yeah. I just think it's something you put your head in to get a picture. Yeah. Hahahahaha. Smells like blood near, the Mayans also.

Also, although the Mayans also thought that cross eyes were attractive, especially in children, so they would dangle things in front of like little jewelry in front of kids back and forth to try and cross their eyes. Do you feel like, look at this hot kid. There's no what's going on? Yeah. Oh, man. This is. They're crossing their is. And I also look like a child. Which, by the way, you know how I've told you this. But when I try to. This one's from ChatGPT. It tries to give me a joke angle.

So I go to get this prompt. I said, hey, I have a podcast, I would like some facts about, ancient cultures. And it goes, it went. You know, I know Charles, I listen. Yeah, it goes hell yeah. That's what it said. ChatGPT said, hell yeah. That's a great idea, Chuck. And then it's riff. This is what it wrote out. Riff angle. My and mom's out here trying to make their toddlers hot by giving them permanent derp face. Sounds like a couple New York comedians I know.

So I think we'll have to read some of the chat. It's back to David Drake's Bring It Back choke. Yeah. Child was good. Yes, yes, it was good show. It was good. They also flattened babies foreheads. So another mine beauty center was forehead flattening. They would bind infants head between boards to shape. There's a flat, surface to write the letter. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Everything's to get this letter sent to their ex. Nobody's live in a more hell than the ex of a Mayan king.

Gets something you get. You're getting the STDs from the letters. Yeah. That was the first file cabinet ever in history. Was, just put. I need to put them somewhere. As I write upon this flat baby's head, I can't help but remember your flat chest. Oh, Christina. I looked at his cross eyes, and I remember your beauty. I do have know this, something that jog my memory about sacrifice is the, In the Judaism class, I'm taking some of the really orthodox people.

They want to, not only go back to Israel, but, and rebuild the temple.

But they also want to reinstitute the the sacrificial cults aspects where you, like, sacrifice goats in the temple. God. What? So it would be cool. Yeah. I do feel bad for the goat of course. Yeah. But they're going the, the goat though is the most sacrificed animal. It really it's either the greatest of all time or the most sacrificed animal. Lambs of sheep I think so, yeah. Sheep and goats, they've gotten a, they've got. Yeah. They've got a tough end. Yeah. And a sheep is it.

Yes. Sheep is sacrifice and they're an insult. Sheep. Right. Oh and but a horse is gonna have to charge in a war at least. Yeah. Charge. It only goes oh, I'm sure the Aztecs. Yeah. I, yeah, I know it's tough with the horse, too. It's not like if my cat breaks it, it's like I got to put it down. I mean, a horse is done. Has anybody ever tried to just let a horse heal their leg? You can race. Yeah, but they kill it. Then he just does, like, stuff around the house. Like a Flintstone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He becomes. Yeah. You you put all your. Yeah, yeah. It's your your your carrot peeler. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. He's an all in one. Yeah. It's He's the, He's the slap chop.

What do you think about this? And I have a bunch here, so we can just. You can skip or you can play. Ancient Persians voted while drunk, then double checked sober. So Persians debated political ideas drunk and only adopted them if they also sound. Yeah, exactly. So they would get hammered. I'll read it. Yeah. Persians debated political ideas drunk, and only adopted them if they also sounded good. The next morning, sober. But I got to imagine those ideas drunk. Had to be a little horny.

Are you writing in ideas and then voting on that? No. You're just. Well, you're writing ideas drunk. Then the next morning, while you're hanging, you know, you're you're debating political ideas drunk. Oh, wow. And then you're only adopting them if they also sound a good sober. So I got imagine you're drunk. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tits on Mondays. But you know, it might have been one of the drunken ideas. You ever seen those wind catchers wind? The airport socks.

Now? No one at the airport. They have wind socks. Okay. What are those? Do catch wind. Yeah, okay. That's not it. Pocahontas. It's a big pillar, and wind goes into them. And then there's, something called a cannot QA, and they to, at the bottom where there's, like, water flowing and it's deep underground, so it's cool. Oh, wow. Wind goes in and it's a natural, like, you know, like, I have no idea, but it's in, like an underground mall that it has a wind catcher. It basically is naturally.

Wow, all this hot air that gets cooled and then it gets forced back up or something. So it feels like there's wind. Wow. That's great. That's a great drink idea. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, I like that. That's awesome okay. Yeah we'll see it in the morning. But that list, the list. And what if we had something else? I'd. What do we have? The train underground. Everything underground. It's so hot here. Yeah. What are you ideas? What's going on over there? Oh,

Yeah. My ideas. Inventions. Now we're. What have we had? Nuclear sites underground. Underground? What? You know, a couple weeks ago, they were like, great idea. So glad we voted. Yes. I'm still. I'm still there. I still don't know if it's completely destroyed or. No. Nobody. Nobody. Because we said we destroyed it. Then prisons are like, nuh. Like, yeah, yeah. You didn't it's a real he he said, he said yeah. She'll never say. He said yeah. There. Yeah. It might be she.

It's real. Yeah. Who's our girl? Christina Levitt. Who's the spokes lady for the white House? Not that blond bimbo is. No no no no no no. It's like yeah, no no no no no. Who's the speaker? She's like 28. I just started back at the Capitol. It's pretty fun. They got Ice Barbie, Pete hags. Yeah. It's her name. I like that Caroline Leavitt. John. Margaret. Boo. Okay, I don't she seems like that's a levelheaded name. Something. Never seen this girl. Sure. All the time. I'll get her up. Dress?

Yeah. What are they doing, by the way?

That alligator Alcatraz drunk idea that people voted on. What do you mean? What are they doing? Like, what is it? I don't know what it is. I heard alligator Auschwitz. So, what is it? It's a it's a prison camp for migrants. And they're literally alligators. No, it's the alligator. They literally. You can look this up. They're tweeting like the political people if they're putting it in the Everglades. So if they escape, they'll get eaten by alligators. Laura Loomer tweeted.

Hopefully. Like literally like, I hope that the alligators eat all these. Like they're really. You don't think they're going to tame the alligators? I hope so, yeah. Ride them. Yeah. You don't think D.C. is going to become a swamp? The underwater railroad, after all of these violent and skilled gang members? Yeah. Harness the power of the alligator. Yeah, that's how it's really going to backfire for us. They're just going to storm, the Capitol. Like, just death row all the way up. The five year.

Yeah. Crazy. What's the sequel called? Two January 2nd, six. I'm trying to think of it. Yeah. Swamp. Jan six. Otra vez. And that's what I get every time I go. Yeah. What you say ultra? Ultra. They it's it's again. They say. Yeah. And arrow and arrow say one of us. Okay. That's so far. I really thought they were. I thought it was like a pest control. No, it's. Yeah, the alligators in Florida. We're going to send them, no. Yeah, they're they're ruining the natural habitat of the Everglades.

freaked up. It's super freaked up. Yeah, yeah. Into the desert. Put these kids in cages where there's in sand. Yeah, they're. Yeah. Making sure it's. They have their tour in it. Well, that's too far. Yeah. Kids in cages is one thing, but alligators being displaced, climate refugees, that's not right. It would. Wouldn't it be awesome, though, if they did these? Oh, I hope they do. That'd be great to see them riding up. And then they succeed. And then somehow, like the Everglades becomes its own.

Yeah. Like Texas nukes. Sharknado. Gator nado. Yeah. We're going to need. Yeah. It's out of the country. Becomes a new Independence Day movie. Nukem. Yeah. You're going to see that instead of the big, you know, the big trucks that go through North Korea with the new. Yeah, yeah. As a show of force. wow. How many people so have they started building. Yeah. They've during this it's built it's built is built.

It's there's this is this is I've been to the Everglades, but it was near like, Fort Lauderdale because I think the Everglades extends pretty far out. I think it's huge. I we didn't go to the tip and we only saw like one alligator. But he did have a sign that said secure the border. All right. So this is the disability. This is the facility. Wow. It would be funny if the alligators are, like, patrolling it. Yeah, like in Donkey Kong. You play that donkey. The alligators are like the bad guys.

Yeah. They have, like, knights. Yeah. Flashlights. There's one sleeping. Yeah, but they steal the keys for them. Yeah. They put. They get rotisserie chickens. Yeah. Distract him. Throw a deer. Well, that's freaking nice. Yeah. How we get around Alcatraz? Yeah, I hate that. Oh, yeah. It's really bad. Yeah. I think one day, if it really gets bad, I don't imagine the military would abide by anything he says. Because the military commanders have already said no to them a few times.

Like because he wanted more military in LA. And they were like, freak you. Well, one heartening thing, maybe, is that this country was founded on, people rising up against these. Yeah, yeah. I think if it I mean, you can only help if you truly, I hope they all, you know, I'm hoping they all get. I think that'd be cool. Yeah. We'll reset. Yeah. Little fun stuff that the postmaster General does have to be. Yeah. There we go. Yeah, yeah, let's look them up.

But wait, what if I just made me think of something? Like what? What? Phoenix, like Zion National Park is the next I can read. I'm sure they'll start. That's the waterfalls of Yosemite. Illegals will be drenched 24 seven. They'll be too wet to commit crime. I don't want to say the word we call them, but let's just say their backs will stay that way. Yeah, our new quicksand camp in Death Valley.

If they're so eager on coming into this country and, killing our people will send them right to the valley of death. But in the national parks, well, there's Niagara in barrels. If they can survive the trail of the water in Niagara Falls, they can live in Syracuse. They survived the trial of the buffalo. It's good to have the wings there. Beautiful wings of parks. You've been to Grand Canyon? I've been in the Grand Canyon. Yeah. It's far. It's far away from where I grew up.

Yeah. If it was close to you, if it was close, I would go. Yeah, yeah, I miss Shenandoah, which is in Virginia until me and Molly was like, okay, it's like six. I think it's like six hours away from me. Okay. It's probably Shenandoah from Annapolis. For maybe Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Niagara, Shenandoah. That's it. It's beach is.

There's a there's take the dog and there like you can't sandpiper territory. Sandpiper territory? Yeah. What's that? It's a bunch of little, I know they look like little coco bellies. Yeah, yeah, well, they, Yeah, they nest there or something. So the dogs can't be on the beach because they dig. Whoa. Yeah, I'm trying to. Trying to make an omelet. I'm trying to, Yeah, to eat two rocks a day to drive today. But, yeah, they they made us sit on the boardwalk.

Dang I mean, they made us sit like, right next to. Yeah, but if you're ever, like, no one sits there. It's so freaking hot. Yeah. The winds down by the water. Yeah. So we were just backing up there, but, they did let us go. Okay. Molly was so despondent. She was like, oh, I guess I'll drive the dog. freak yeah. That's a such a buzzkill. It was horrible. It was horrible. Well, going to the beach on Friday moved away. I couldn't believe that.

Heather, it's so funny, because I'll invite you to the beach and you'll be like, I know, time to. I probably wear a shirt. That's fine. Yeah, I'm. I think I need to get a frisbee for us. You have a real frisbee? I don't want to be throwing one of those. No, no. It's for Greg. That's regulation courses. Not taking anything out for recreation. That's fine. Didn't we throw that, though, like. Yeah. As we were waiting, like, oh, yeah. That was such a mistake. Florida. Yeah.

Our bomb across Florida door. Yeah. I'm going across the swamplands. Yeah, we we might have ended up an alligator. It's the audience. We're doing a show at. This place sounds sick. Nice. Yeah. I'm excited. Yeah. I'm trying to eat, like, as little as possible to be as less bloated as possible. Nice. Yeah. I mean, I'm, a string bean now, but I'm. I don't want to be so bloated. It's funny like that. Like, I'll invite you and you'll be like, I know I hate the beach.

And then Heather invites, you know, like, whatever gave her. Well, I'm like, I'll go to one. I was like, well, I go to one with Heather because then I'm like, okay, I can try in front of my girlfriend. And she's like, should we invite I? Should we respond to Zach and Molly? And I was like, yeah. And then the past couple of days she's like, we don't have to use your calendar. And I'm like, it's it's tough battle. It's fatter than you. Well, yeah, that's true. I've seen everybody that's going.

But I mean, I want to be a bloody who cares stuff. Yeah. But we're gonna have fun. It is. Have you guys been a long beach? Yeah. Nice. They have some I'm trying to do. I'm doing my cheat meal there. There's really good burritos and Pokeballs. Yeah. But it's it's a decent, decent beach. Yeah. Heather loves beach World. Dude, I love I went to some part of the got off on the LA, the Hamptons or whatever, and there were really aggressive. It was like Coopers Beach, I think really aggressive waves.

And I loved them. Yeah. Heather was getting pummeled and they ladies can't handle the waves. I love the aggressive waves. No. Yeah, yeah. It's sick I love it. Yeah. Cucked by the side. freaking choke me. Yeah. It's good. It's fun. Yeah. It's so fun. You serve them in. Of course. I'm a body surfer. Yeah, I'm a bloater surfer. Whoa. Yeah. I'm. I'm above the waves. Is, I mean, I'm on Alani. Laney. Hahahahahahahaha. Melanie is coming. Does she have a guy? She's bringing you? Eliana?

I don't think so. Okay, cool. I didn't want to have to be a guy to another guy on the long train in the morning. Oh, you went there? Oh, you mean it's my, Guys? Okay, we got a couple more, and then I got a get on up. But I have a shoot ton of facts so we can save these for later, or we'll pick some up trying to see. Here's one for you, that you may like.

Viking skulls had rap battles before Christianity killed the vibe. Another ChatGPT trying to be funny Viking with this guy. I don't know. I was a poet. It's a you're a poet. I'm a scold. What would you rather be called? A scholar, a poet, a scald? I guess scald is kind of metal. Yeah. Anything like metal. It's true. So they performed epic poems, insults and barbaric roasts in the longhouse. They had a long. Yeah, that's like that looks very close to a warehouse. Okay. So they.

Yeah, they would get together, would say, You said she says these rhymes had rules, meter and massive respect stakes like Norse memes. Jesus Christ sensitivity will never replace comedy as. Yeah. Hahahahaha. You think you're the yarrow but you're, you really can't snarl. What do you write with the oral? Carl? Carl guitar l like a yarrow. But your name is really Carl. You got a small peepee and you? Yeah. It's tough man, I couldn't be. Yeah, I couldn't be a scald. I'm out of practice.

Here's a couple more. We'll do some some lightning round.

So, goddess orgies of sacred sex magic is the sugar. Were associated with the god, the gout. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's tomato and eggs. The goddess sugar is over. Yeah, yeah, well, come on, you're eating the eggs in a pool of blood. Red ball blood, the goddess shouts go! Was associated with gender fluidity, cross-dressing. And while the ritual orgies, her priests often wore women's clothing and led dances that turn into full on static group scenes. So you go to a church, in the 80s?

Yeah, I think it's in Brooklyn. I think Nick did a special there. Yeah. You got the particle. I got the, you know, people have me going to this one I missed. I don't shard of falls. And then, nobody's been going. I took, it's been a while, but I took a shoot that I really wanted to take a picture of. It. Righteous like tube. Oh. I mean, I take tubes every day. I take. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's me, because I've eaten so much. I mean, crazy, organic, all this stuff. My tube.

I have to tell you, I have to break up part with, Q-tips. I look in the toilet, and then that's how. That's something to be proud of. This is what happens when I flush it has it. It folds. Or sometimes it levitates, from end to end. And then when you flush, it has to concave in the middle and it goes. But. My buddy sent me this today as a revenge. It was a TikTok. Here's revenge. How you can do revenge on your eye.

Somebody you don't like when you're in, like, a dive bar and there's a bunch of you get a permanent marker and you go, hey, here's my number. Send me pics of your poop, and I'll read them. That's good stuff. I mean, check the shakshuka sex yuca. That's a good Indian dating app like mugs. Mugs is real app. Yeah. Was created by Homeland Security to find people. You're going on a date. It's like that's. Least. Yeah, there's some other. Yeah. List.

That's freaked up. Yeah. Don't don't go to that website. No, it does look like a, like a goddess. Yeah. Yeah, like a goddess. Placenta. Thanks. Yeah. Oh, percent of the gods.

What about this? Ancient Japan sex scrolls and pillow books? The Changa were erotic woodblock prints showing every kind of sex imaginable. Ready? This is Asian. Where do you think this is going? This is a every kind of sex imaginable. Vending machine, panty dispensers. You're close. You're in the realm. You're humans, demons specific to Asian, specific to Asian. Think porn. Furries. Dragons. Godzilla. Yeah. You go. Yes. This is where tentacle one was started.

This is the origin. Sex grows and pillow books. Samurai eyes, tentacles go all the way back to Sam. Tom Cruise at a pillow book. The last samurai. Yeah, they ask samurai. You know what I mean? It's June. Yeah, I've seen the second. I didn't know there was a first Samurai. I would carry pillow books that included sex positions, etiquettes, and diagrams of foreplay techniques. Why? The samurai came about. They had to defeat all these tentacle. Yeah. Why? And that's the perfect weapon.

I guess that's the plot. Yeah. The ultimate cast. Is sweet, sweet angel. Yeah. Then you eat them. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, yeah. Kilimani. freak. Calamari. This is crazy question that, Molly sent me. Mary kill Hamas or Hezbollah. I guess you got to freak the Houthis. Yeah, those are the most exotic. Yeah. Good time. Merry Hezbollah, they have the most money. Ooh, nice. Oh, those are the three. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty good there is, right? Yeah. Wow. Tentacle porn.

So, what is this, like, wooden carving? Yeah. So you got to imagine. It's funny to think about samurai as being so nimble and have such agility, but then they also have blocks of sex. What to do when you encounter a wild octopus?

Let me flip through my blocks. Yeah. Or. Yeah. We're just like porn. Like, what are you looking at? Like nothing. You know, like. Yeah. Bocce ball box. no, don't take it out of the original packaging. It's gonna ruin the resale. That's why I'm traveling to another land you can get. Check. The resale is like a shoe convention. Now, these are the original air to slip for use. Do you use my wooden to know what was to come on that? So this wood is darker than the others. It's been stained.

Don't tell me it's coffee that hasn't been invented yet. So, wait, what are the other ones? Demons. Humans? Demons? Tentacles. The three things you could freak. Oh, my man's demon. During the Shang dynasty, royal tombs had to include it. During the Shang dynasty, royal tombs included live human sacrifices. So we're talking wives, servants, dogs who were buried alive with the deceased ruler to serve him in the afterlife. Later they. What? Talking about a reason not to get married.

Yeah, a piece of paper. I don't want to die. Wouldn't you? Yeah. You're older than me. I'm 14. You're 67. It's going to be soon. I want to have a Keynesian era. Yeah. Come on. Dynasty is is in the air like everyone else. That's, Want to drive a boat into a bridge? Yeah, like it's just a piece of paper. Why do we need a little bit? Yeah, we're doing. I don't need any of that. Well, how often do you think they faked that? He was a lie. He's a weekend at Bernie's. It more than in the same times.

Oh, yeah. He's just. He's super tired. A record for, like, longest ruling dead card in him around some young bride. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Yeah. You had to be buried a lot later, they realize that they should probably. They replaced them with statues. He's probably like, oh, wait, the whole dynasty's dead. Who's in charge? Yeah, yeah, it's the postman again. Like a postman always ends up in charge. Some guy, he will, he's getting chased by a dog. I'm not ready for this.

As soon as I get the, Rottweiler off my ass, I'll rule the dynasty. Yeah, you can put statues in there. Just as like placeholders. Yeah, you don't have to join him in there. Eventually. Can't this freaking codependent killer be dead for 50 years? Yeah, yeah. Go explore heaven by yourself, please. Dead people are waiting for you to talk to him. Playing checkers, we call it. Yes, but you guys probably. That'd be redundant. Yeah. How do you play? Have you played it? I've.

I've played it. Yeah. It was a long time ago when I was still legal. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if, Yeah, I. Yeah. What I have to put on my social every time I play Chinese checkers skin my eye and. Yeah, yeah, my password is not valid. It was like six players, but I don't even know if that's true, because, yeah, it looks really cool. I did local. Yeah. Grandma's house. I was like, what is it? Yeah, it's your grandma. So what Nixon's been playing I'm 50.

Wait, I thought, like, we could stay on the Chen. Thank you. Chang. Yeah, sure. Shanghai Chen was my father. Yeah. I think statues. Yeah. You could just be dead. You can just be dead and hanging out. Yeah, well, also, like, the last thing some life heard before being alive is. Rules are rules. Oh, yeah. And then you're back. Buried. They will. They would bury him alive. Let me see again. Scroll down a little bit. They show up in the afterlife like, Yeah. What the freak?

Yeah. Yeah. Like. Oh, yeah. Those freaking worms in my eyes. Yeah. They were buried. And the dog and the dog. Probably multiple dogs. Probably a lot of dogs running away. Yeah. Did. Yeah, I probably couldn't catch them. I bet the dogs got away. Oh, yeah, I is the Olympics. Get rid of all that. It's very hard to. Yes. True. Yeah. That's why they were. That's why they thought they were gods. They're like we can't even we can't. They're gods. Yeah. That was just a lie. They probably don't.

Yeah, they probably more. Yeah. They're gods. We can't, we can't. Yeah. It's not worth it because we can. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Because they, they can walk through walls and shoot. So you want to do. All right. Let's see here. Sugar, sugar. Oh here's a gross one. Yeah. Shocker. Sugar. I'll make you enlightened. You. I'm just I just can't open this chocolate. Sure. Have you ever actually done this? I mean, yeah, there seems crazy. I've lived long and prosper. The lady, but I've never shot.

Let's see here. And put out that Ben Franklin little blurb about the whatever. It was like ten minutes on YouTube and some guys like, why such a short full episode and, like, nice. Hopefully come and see us. Please. The smallest piece.

The Toraja people in Sulawesi believe that death was a slow transition, so corpses would be kept in the home for weeks, months and years. Families would dress, feed me for my like, yeah, and talk to their mummified relatives daily. Then during a festival. But yeah, well they would do they would be mummified I think just because they kept them around. No. Well, no. Those occasions a process where you, like, remove all the organs and you treat the body. Yeah. You, you make it so they're preserved.

That's why all the mummies, they're like, preserved. Yeah. Yeah. They're pickled. Yeah, the pickled pickled money. Pickled pharaohs. Then during the festival, they would dig them up again, give them new clothes and pose for photos. Wow. So this photo is out there. Where is this? The ancient Torah in Indonesia? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Different thing inside. Hey, did you dig up dad? It's picture time now. He's in the living room. You think it's like. Yeah, yeah.

And what kind of clothes do. Hawaiian shirt. That's a fine. You got to do. Hawaiian shirt on dead dad. Yeah. On three month old. Yeah, yeah. If it's a slow transition, I wonder what activities they have been doing. Like maybe. Will they still, like, newly dead? He's still active. Yeah. In the kitchen. Right. And then he's, you know, three months, four months. They I'm like reading and. Yeah. What could you do. Yeah. Hahahahaha.

Oh he's a thinker. Yeah. Just one on one hand on the table with a book. Yeah. Oh yeah. Tough book dad, you're smart. Not dad's at it again. He's got a lot of learning to be the most learned guy. And yeah, it's, you know, when he learns a new word here, he takes it to the afterlife. Yeah, he lives twice as many. wonder what the people down there think of condensation. Let's see if we can squeeze one more. We're getting tired. Yeah. Give me a give me a let's let's get one juicy one. The juicer.

Okay. And Mesopotamia, modern day Iraq. Women served as

okay. Can't wait to hear what women did. Women. I'm sure it's a high position, but here we go. They served as sacred prostitutes. Sex with them was a holy act meant to channel the goddess and blessed fertility. Babe, you know me. I want us to get pregnant. I got to go out and have some holy sex. I'm at the top of the mountains. Come on, everybody's doing it. Don't you want us to have a good and healthy family? So it would it would, it would encourage fertility. But they're not having the baby.

No, probably not. And uses. Yeah. Yeah. Anti mountain Dew. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. If you have if you have a long day downer for hours. Yeah. Hours and hours baby I've been sitting a lot with my laptop on my lap. I got to go see her. I'm zapped down there. Gotta rejuvenate everywhere. Yeah it's messing up my. Yes, anal helps too. You know this. Come on. The receiving helps. Wow. Sacred for how many? For how many sacred prostitutes you think they're worth? Oh, man.

America like this? Yeah, and there's a big wait list. Holy is from here. Yeah. Sorry. We gotta find him. A sacred duty rejuvenate me. Yeah, that's like a B vitamin. Well, the. It's like that. Do you hate that? 230 feeling? Come on down to the sacred brothel. Jesus Christ, come on down to modern day or sacred brothel. It's a real Mesopotamia. sleep with one of our sacred Baghdad. Yeah. You can have your pick, and you'll be sure to impregnate your wife within 29 days. She'll get pregnant.

And whatever that lady had. Wow. Sacred prostitutes. I like that. That's good. Work is not only work, it's. It's sacred work. It's God's work. Yeah, yeah. So I wonder what they do, because that's probably like a pro athlete like you cut you age out of that. I don't know if you're sacred you become un sacred when you get a little sag. Yeah. When does this say sacred. Disagreed. Yeah. Haggard I all right. Look like Haggard. Haggard. This used to be sacred but now she's haggard. Really steep.

Transition. That's probably a joke that was used a lot. They spoke English. Yeah, in modern day Iraq. English. We're blessed. Some sometimes over there. Some English puns. You don't think it's something you age out of? Yeah. You. But, yeah, I mean, it's like a guilt. The guilt, a stealth. Yeah. In the beginning. Holy. Yeah. The oldest. It's like a line getting even more sacred. Yeah. Help! Yeah. How much do you want it? Yeah. Probably have to earn the.

I wonder if you get your pick or they just be you a virgin forever. Just so you were, you know, you're steeping. Oh, yeah. And then you come out of a cell and you're like, I. Right? Once again, triplets. Guarantee. Yeah. I'm 80 years old. Never been used. Cork me poop. Yeah. You hear that? Like when you crack a wine bottle. Poop. Okay. Cork me back up. I let it breathe. Yeah. That's it. Wow, I like that.

Sacred trust is, It would be funny if they also just used a sacred prostitute as, like, you know, some guys, like, can I put on porn to finish invite her over? Yeah. Come on, you know, it helps a family. I have a family. I want to grow with you. So it'd be really helpful if this. Yeah, because I want to be the man you want me to be. She also, I heard if you finish in them, you could still kind of get pregnant. It's like the Virgin Mary. That's what happened. God didn't tell the real story.

He was born in a sacred prostitute, and Mary got pregnant. And that lady sneezed on Mary. And that's how it happened. So she'll sneeze on you a my guess we're gonna we're gonna have a lot to work with. I don't know, I don't know why she wasn't. Why you're not pregnant. Maybe she wasn't sacred enough. Maybe she's new. Yeah, she's like a sacred insert. How do you become a sacred trust? That's what I wonder. Probably. I would imagine a room with a couch. It's got to be sacred.

How sacred do you want to be wearing a black shirt the whole time. Yeah. Now hold the sacred camera. Tell me your sacred girl. Yeah. So the sacred industry, it's pretty cutthroat. Yeah. I do a lot of connect. And I think you go pretty far just looking at you. Talking to you. It's good. I wonder if the women are like, no, it's totally fine. I actually met a sacred male prostitute that I'm. Yeah. Does it go both ways? Yeah, I hope so. Maybe that's actually what the fertility was. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. And then you're getting the gigolo kid. So we had our, our kid came up black. You must be. Yeah. And you get to be the peepee. Dad. Whoa! peepee. Dad. That's good. Which is nice, because then you can always opt out. Like, hey, I'm like, yeah. That's a holy good half. Holy. He's only. Yeah. Oh that's a good Sam Smith album title. this is my work. My speaking at dad. This is my work wife joke on threads.

Yeah I know I did. It sucks man. Got to be on threads. Man. So I don't have a work wife, but I do have a work cousin. Somebody that I want to hook up with, but I can't because her cousins. Someone at work I want to hook up with. Yeah, that, nice. Holly. Jolly. All right. We could, We could. I do have to pay. I can, I can give you a ride to, What? I mean, I got to. Hi. Hey, give me a ride to the house. Yeah. Anywhere. That's. Man, I wish I could just eat whatever I want.

I could have a cheat meal, but I need to save it for the beach. Are you gonna have the famous burrito or poke you there? Maybe it's good I eat anything. That's true. I thank you for listening to, I know it's going to be a dual episode or dual. I mean, I could cut this into two. This is an hour 47, but. This is.