Welcome back to the Overcomfort podcast. I am your host, Jennica Lopez. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to today's episode. I am so glad you guys are here today. Today's episode is for all my single, dating, engaged, or even just navigating past and present relationships. I believe that today's conversation is going to encourage you and encourage me. If you guys do not know, I have been single for a very very long time and I've enjoyed my singleness.
It has been a little bit lonely, but I've turned it from something from seeing it as something negative to something positive. I see as a season of preparation, as something I'm getting ready for and to become the woman I need to be for my future partner, person, husband, etc. And with that also means knowing who you are and having your boundaries not just in your friendships or in your personal circle, but also in your relationship as well.
So today we're going to dive in into an important topic, honoring yourself and your boundaries in dating and relationships. First things first, we have to remember our worth and who we are as people with or without a partner. Our worth is not defined by another person. And we also have to recognize our boundaries and have them very firm and stand by them and recognize where they come from and why those boundaries are placed. It's so easy to
get caught up in emotions and desires and expectations from others. Everybody, everybody goes through it. It's okay. But the true truth is is that God calls us to honor ourselves because we are made in His image, not by the person that we see ourselves as, but by who God sees us as. When we set boundaries and we stick to them, we show respect for the person we were created to be. So grab your coffee, let's take a deep breath, and let's talk about how we can navigate relationships in a
way that also aligns with God's plan for us. Like I said, you guys, I have been single for a long time, and I used to see it as something negative, like, oh, what's wrong with me? What's like? Am I am? I not likable? Is it because of who I am? Is
it because etc? And then I would also compromise, like everything that I've worked hard for, Like obviously I'm a single woman twenty seven, I have my own house, I have my own car, I pay my own bills, I make sure that everything's taken care of and whatever, and that can be intimidating. So I always thought that I was the problem. But then I realized I'm like, no, Like, I'm gonna find someone that matches exactly me and matches my energy, or that loves me and accepts me in
every single way emotionally, physically, et cetera. So let's start with why do boundaries matter? Why do they even matter? Why do we have these things where like we tell people where like we don't. I don't really like this, like why, Like what is the reason behind them? And a lot of people think that boundaries are about keeping people out or being too strict, But in reality, boundaries
are about protecting what's valuable. And there's a proverb that says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. That's Proverbs four twenty three. We are called to guard our hearts because our emotions and decisions and future relationships flow from it. I think I said this in a couple episodes back. Whatever comes into your heart and your mind is how you exert. It's what you're going to be given. It's what you're giving out.
If we just let anyone in without wisdom, without discernment, without really just accepting whatever person even the bare minimum, we risk pain, confusion, unhealthy patterns, and heartbreak. To be honest, we are the cause of our own heartbreak if we're not recognizing patterns. So boundaries and dating help us stay emotionally and spiritually healthy, avoid unnecessary heartbreak, and also honoring
God with our bodies and hearts. For example, if you know that physical boundaries are important for your purity, setting those expectations and a relationship is wise and dating. For example, me, I have been I believe the correct term is a little bit not abstinate for oh for a while now,
and I'm choosing to. And I'm choosing because I do feel that although sex is, you know, important, and people believe, oh, we got to test drive the car before we purchase it or whatever, I think, at the end of the day, take sex out of the picture. Are you still gonna love me emotionally who I am as a person and how much are you willing to wait for me? I
feel like that is super important. Oh. Another example is if you struggle with people pleasing like me, having emotional boundaries can help you prevent from compromising your values and just to keep somebody around. So say you're talking or dating somebody and this person you know really wants a certain thing. He wants you to I don't know, I don't know, go somewhere. But it makes you feel uncomfortable, and it's like, no, I'm not. I'm gonna stay on firm by what I'm feeling. And at the end of
the day, boundaries aren't about rejection. They're about protection. They are meant to help you. And I don't want to say block, but God your heart and protect what's valuable. We're gonna want a quick break and we'll be right back you guys, All right, welcome back, you guys. Honoring yourself through those boundaries. Honoring yourself means recognizing that you are worthy of love, respect, and care. My favorite Bible verse is also Psalms one thirty nine and fourteen because
it reminds us. It says, I praise you because I'm fearfully wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know that fool and well. Listen, ladies, listen, listen very clearly, ladies, God did not create us to settle for less than his best. When you honor yourself, you acknowledge that your time is valuable, your heart is precious, and your body is the temple of God, the Holy Spirit. You guys, we are not meant to settle, ladies. I know, no, I know that we have this craving. We want attention.
We want guys to like us. We want you know, and we take the first person, We bite on the first thing that comes our way. But no, we are not meant to settle. We are meant to be chased after, to be pursued, to be wanted. Now I'm not saying like desperate, like oh my god, play hard to get like forever and ever, but no, it's like, honor yourself. Your time is valuable, your heart is precious. It's not to be played with. It's meant to be protected and guarded.
And are you going to care for this heart you like the person that I am. Okay, protect my heart and your body as well. It is it's how we take care of our body and what we do to it and how we treat it that that matters. Like how is this partner or a person that we're interested in going to take care of us in all those ways. So how do we honor ourselves in dating? Well? Number one, know you're worth. Know you're worth in God. Your value doesn't come from a relationship status. It comes from God.
If you're constantly seeking validation from a partner, take a step back and ask yourself, am I looking for someone to fill a place that only God can feel? I think a lot of ladies with let's say daddy issues, we have those problems. We tend to draw partners that remind us that have a very father figure vibe, or actual dads, people with kids, people that had the same attitude as our father. Because it's comfortable, it's what we
grew up with. It's something that it's it's a it's a curse and it's a generational thing that you guys have to break. And I've learned to do that as well. So we don't seek validation and a partner, Ladies, we seek validation in God and in ourselves, and we know our worth. Say no without guilt. It's okay to say no to situateationships, situations, relationships or behaviors that just don't
align with God's plan for you. And I want to make this very important God himself, Jesus himself set boundaries. He walked away multiple multiple times to go pray by himself. He knew when to say no. And this also goes into friendships and families and whatever. When you're setting boundaries, it is okay because God even did it himself. I need a break, I need a moment from XYZ. It's
okay to say no. Okay because you ultimately know. You have to be confident and know that whatever is planned and whatever is meant to be for me will come to me. It won't miss me, won't It won't pass me by, and when you're ready for it, it'll come. Number three is to communicate clearly, effectively and kindly. And
I think that's what people forget. Also is when you're communicating these boundaries, you have to speak with respect in order for that other person to understand you, Like, hey, very clearly, I just want to let you know I'm not liking this. I'm kind of just gonna stay away. If someone truly respects you, they'll respect your boundaries. If you push past them or make them, or they make you feel guilty, then that's a sign that maybe they're
not the right person from you. Be calm, clear, collective, and kind. If someone doesn't respect them, then I'm sorry, babes, we gotta go. And I think ultimately, here's the thing. Honoring yourself and boundaries isn't always easy. Sometimes it means walking away from something that feels good in the moment temporary satisfaction, but isn't good for your soul or your heart in the long run. You have to trust that
God knows the plans that he has for you. He ultimately has plans to prosper you, not to harm you, but to give you hope and future and always align with his plan. When we trust God in our relationships, we also have confidence that his plans are better than anything we could arrange ourselves. We got to stop surrender and stop taking control. I know love is something that we all deep down crave and desire, and that's okay.
We're human, that's part of who we are created. But we also have to trust that He created us with purpose and for a reason, and that his plans are better than any of the little plans that we have. So if you're struggling with boundaries right now, I just want you to remember you don't have to prove your
worth to anyone. God already has that established. You don't have to fear being alone, no matter what age you're at, no matter how kids you have, no matter if you have this job or that job, you don't have to fear being alone. God is always with you. You're never ever alone. You don't have to lower your standards ladies. And I've been I will be honest, I have done that before. I have done it where it's like, Okay, I want to be I want to normalize or I
want to come off like you know normal. No, you don't have to lower your standards. You're in this position in your life for a reason, and God will bring the right person at the right time. I love to say this as well. God is never early. God is never late, but He's always on time. So whether you're single, dating, or healing from a past relationship, keep honoring yourself, have the self worth, have the self respect, because God's best is worth waiting for. I hope that this conversation has
encouraged you today. Setting boundaries isn't about keeping love out you guys. It's not. It's about making room for the right kind of love, the kind that reflects God's heart for you and remember that your heart is precious, it is perfect, and it is meant to be protected and guard it. You guys, just keep in mind, how is this going to feed my heart? Is this gonna better it? Or is it going to harden it? And if you're in a season of learning to honor yourself and your boundaries.
I just want to send a little prayer for you, guys, because I'm your sister, I'm your friend, and I believe that when someone is praying with you and for you, it is unimaginable what God can do when two or more pray together. And I don't want you guys to feel alone. We're in this journey together. So God, thank you for reminding us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Help us walk in confidence knowing that we are worthy of love, respect, and care. Give us wisdom to set
healthy boundaries and strength to uphold them. We trust that your plans for us are good. Help us wait for the relationships that honor you and bring us closer to you and you name Amen. If this episode encourage you, share it with a friend who needs this reminder. And if you haven't already, make sure you guys subscribe for just more encouragement and more episodes. We are going to wrap up this season next week, so thank you guys for tuning in, and I will be pray for your
girl too. We're praying for the man of God, for the woman of God of your man listening to this or whatever, We're praying for our partners. Until next time. Always keep honoring yourself and trusting God's plan for your heart and I'll see you guys next week. Bye. Overcome for podcast is a production of Iheartmichael Podcast Network