Two Things Can Be True At The Same Time: Part 8 [The Mini-Series] (Normalizing the In-Betweens and Healing From Extremism) (Outweigh)

I won't let my body out be outwait everything that I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.

I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I feel free, I know every pardon me, it's beautiful.

And then we'll always out way if you feel it, but you are, She'll some love to the vid.

Why get there? Take you one day?

An did you and die out way?

Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and my co host Leanne Ellington, No, all right, Part eight of two things can be true at the same time the final parts.

We're finally here.

You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've arrived and still desire to do more, be more, have more, create more, and be absolutely unapologetically all about it, all about what you want and dig into that and we want to see that happen. And this makes me think of our conversation last week in the mountain yep, like reaching the top right and feeling like I have arrived here, I am world and you can be there, and like last week, you may go back down the mountain some

But also now.

I'm picturing that beautiful mountain and being at the top and knowing that, Hm, is there a bigger mountain? Like can I hop on over and keep climbing? And what we're saying here.

With this is yes, I see this happen a lot, and I am gonna specifically say more with women doesn't mean it's exclusively with women, but I see the patterns more almost apologetic, like I know my life is amazing, but I also want more, and they're apologetic that they want more, because it's almost like a toxic form of gratitude where it's like, I'm so grateful, I shouldn't I shouldn't ask for more.

This makes you think of the Barbie monologue. Have you seen it?

I haven't yet, but now because of our mastermind text, I need to go see it.

Yeah, America Farra in the movie, even if you don't want to go see the whole movie, look up her monologue, because in fact, I'll look it up and I'll read it in a second because it's it's exactly.

What you're saying for when it comes to women.

Yeah, So I mean that's the thing, Like, first of all, we talked last week about there is no real arrival because what do they say, new level, new devil, Like you you overcome one mountain. Have you seen those memes where it's like I went on a hike and I thought we got to the top of the mountain, and then I looked there was like another peak another I'm totally butchering the meme, but I'm that girl too when I go on a hike, I think I've gotten to

And so part of it.

Is like, yes, have that gratitude, be so appreciative of where you are. Consciously practice that gratitude. And for me, like with my food freedom and the freedom that I have in my body, which is still also always evolving. I have great gratitude for where I am, and yeah, I want even more freedom.

I want even more peace in my body.

I want even more of the ability to wake up and feel amazing and acceptance of myself without having to change my thoughts.

Right, I want more of that.

So be grateful for where you are, but also be eager for the next level.

But that also goes for your career.

We talked about on the first two things can be true at the same time. You can find healing and then also say, you know what, I want to take my body to the next level. I want to see how strong I can get, how able bodied I can get, how great at an activity or sport I can get.

So that was hard for me in the beginning to realize, you know, the pendulum sort of swings right when you enter.

You're like all the.

Way like, I'm gonna do whatever I want. I don't need to have goals. If I have goals, that's bad, Like I shouldn't care about my body.

I just eat the oreos.

You know, and then it swings the other way and levels it levels off. But I loved that first episode about you know, being pro body image and being aware of that, but also giving yourself the permission to absolutely have health goals if you have them absolutely so anyway, yeah, that was the first part one of this. If y'all didn't hear it, you can go back and listen to it. Did you find the quote you look like you have.

A the monologue?

Yeah, I have it. Okay, I I could see it in your eyes.

Okay, the movie's been out for a little bit because as far as like, oh, I don't want to ruin this part.

Of the movie.

Alert if you want to see it and you don't want to hear it from me, then okay, pause this really quick. But this is so good, Like I would go see the movie again just to see America Ferrera do this, although I'm sure I could like google that clip or something. Here it is written out America Frere's Barbie monologue, read by Amy. It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.

You have to have.

Money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're

Never get out of line.

It's too hard, it's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you, and it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into noughts so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.

Wow, I was good, So I'm was so good, so true and such a topic to explore, because again we don't want to buy into like this is how it always is, but like, unfortunately, this is the reality as it's kind of presented to us. So that's why I think copics like today are so important, Like you can have both, and I mean it goes for the air quotes negative side of things too. I'll have clients come to me and be like, listen, I don't want to

I like that, that's not my dream, but you go girl, right? Or you know, I know my mom.

When when we all graduated from college, she went back and got her interior design degree.

She wasn't necessarily.

Planning on using it, but she she did end up using it, but she just wanted to do it for her, you know. So like, you're allowed to have the life that you have and be grateful for it, but don't apologize if you want the next level for yourself either.

That's what we're really trying to say.

Yeah, the apologizing part, because we do it. Honestly, I'd like to meet a man that does it. Like, if you're a man that's ever apologized for wanting more money, wanting more and feeling bad for asking for it, mail me yeah.

Or we're doing to study halla.

We want to hear from you, because when that monologue was happening during the movie, I just was like, Hm, I wonder how don't even feel this way? And I'm sure there are some and it also too. I want to say this that I know the two things can be true. Maybe that you're totally satisfied you've arrived and you can want more, and you're allowed to want more, but we're not saying.

You should want more.

Right, you maybe have arrived and you're like, this is good for me, but that the challenge would be like, is this really good for you? Or are you conforming to the ways in which we've been hard right hardwired to sort of accept that, well, this is as far as I go, and I'm cool with that because I never saw myself even coming this far.

So I'm thankful right totally.

And that's where I don't mean the toxic gratitude in a bad way, but that's where it's like, oh, I shouldn't you know, I'm grateful, but I shouldn't want more, or this is as good as it gets. As another form of that too, we're trying to telling ourselves like, no, I'm just grateful for what I have, and it almost limits us. And when you said, like, show me a guy that has these limitations in their mind what came up for me? Is lis like, it shows us that

And I do it, I know you do, like we all do it.

But that's where it's one of those things we're creating an awareness of, Like it doesn't have to be so, and it doesn't mean that we're ungrateful, arrogant, cattie whatever.

I think that when it comes to outweigh which, since this podcast is, you know, a life without disordered eating outweighs everything.

But I think we can.

This conversation is more so about the bigger picture of like for me, I'm thinking of entering the space of having more space in my brain. Yes, when you're in the throes of it all, you're literally trying to make yourself small, but you are making yourself small in always likely even at your career, likely even in your home or whatever. That looks like you're trying to shrink yourself. And it's happening inside your brain too, and that can

Totally, I think knowing where you are and having that inner intuition of the season that you're in. So for example, when you air quotes arrive right and you're feeling good about something, knowing like, hey, I actually want to just stay put right here and I want to tread water. I want to just you know, live in this easy, breezy kind of way of thinking right now, or way

And I think when you have arrived, you have more discernment. Yeah, and you can tap into that wisdom and it's not cluttered right with all.

The other thoughts that take over.

And so yeah, that was my challenge is just seeing where you want to go with it next, because I think when our thoughts are consumed with body and food and all of that, we don't even.

Know our career goals.

Right, it's so exhausting. And you're right, there's no mental real estate for anything else. Yeah, And that's part of what this is too.

It's like invite.

We said this a few episodes ago, like what if your body and your weight and what you're eating is the least interesting thing about you? Yeah, because you're so much more and then you. That creates space of like, well, what else is interesting about me? Oh?

I'm pretty funny sometimes, or.

I make great dad jokes, or I'm smart and worthy and capable, i have something to say, or I'm such a great friend or whatever.

Or I'm actually a really good cook when I allow myself to use lots of ingredients and not limit myself to four things, amen, three things.

And I love my body.

I love going dancing and paddleboarding and whenever, and when I'm not shaming it. I could actually go spend myself my time doing that, you know. So there's so much more outside of this, but again giving you compassion and grace if you're in it because you don't know what you don't know.

That's why Outweigh exists.

All right, Leanne, where can people find you?

Absolutely Stressless Eating dot com if you want to learn how to break out of your own food and body and shame, prison and really heal from the disorder Stressless Eating dot com or I'm over on Instagram at Leanne Ellington.

And I am at Radio Amy on socials and a radiome dot com. All right, this concludes our mini series, but Leanne is the official new co host of out Weigh. As you can tell that transition has sort of happened. It's speaking of evolving and having space for what's the next right thing and Leanne joining as co host. Here was the next right thing. I started this with Lisa in twenty twenty. Lisa Haim and she's a registered dietitian that's amazing. She has a podcast called The Truthyist Life.

Bye bye