It’s Time To Do Eating Disorder Recovery Differently with Kristie Amadio

a second and where you're coming to us from. But I gotta say, I just got done watching Christie's ted x talk on YouTube and I was like, well, I'm gonna watch a little bit here and I'm trying to do this, And the next thing you know, I'm sitting down in front of my computer totally like into the story. And I'm just so grateful for people like Christie that have used their story and then taken it to others.

And I know that you're super passionate about helping people anyone and everyone all across the world, So thank you for taking the time to join us on our way today. Thank you so much for having me so tell us a little bit about you and your story. And obviously people may now know that you've spoken. You have an accent. I do have an accent. So I'm back living in New Zealand. I'm kind of from all over. I was

born in England, my parents were from New Zealand. I grew up in Australia and then I moved to New Zealand when I was twenty four, and then after I recovered, which i'll get into, actually moved to the States for five years, which it's absolutely a piece of my heart. Um So you get different accents coming out of my mouth all the time. But in terms of my story, it's so soulful for me to be able to talk about being recovered, because it's not something that I ever

thought was on the cards to me. I struggled with disordered eating and an eating disorder for fourteen years and I got told in two different countries that I was chronic and I'd never fully recover, and I got taught to know in air quotes like manage my eating disorder. They said, well, you can still be high functioning. You can still you know, have a job and have relationships, but you just have to manage it. And I was like, oh, okay,

if that's what I have to do, like okay. And I was never told that I could have a better quality of life. And so I think for so long nobody knew I had an eating disorder because it was so hidden by you know, I exercised that much. My career became in the outdoors, so that I was like, I could just get paid to have an eating disorder

and just exercise all the time. Great, And so I became an outdoor guide, like working like taking people out in the bush and taking people kayaking, And in my head, I was like, well, that's okay because i can exercise all the time and I'm getting paid for it, and this is okay, right, And I kind of just kept that up for a very long time, and everyone just thought that was that's just Christie. She likes to exercise, and you know, she's really quote unquote healthy with her food.

But deep inside, I'd wake up every morning and think about how many hours I had to do, or what I had to eat, or if I was going out that night where I'd have to compensate later on, and it just it came to a head where I think the eating disorder, I'd like to say it was like a termite, and it just chipped away and chipped away and chipped away until one day I work up in the house and fallen down around my years and I was deep, deep, deep in an eating disorder and once

again being told that I'd never get better. That's a great analogy, the termite analogy. I think that that's an excellent way to put it, because it chips away. It's like you don't realize there's a problem until it's no longer sustainable, the until you problem. Yeah, the foundation is about to collapse because it's being eroded away and eaten away. And the title of your TED talk in case people want to search it up, is it's time to do eating disorder recovery differently. And why is it that you

chose to speak on that in particular. Yeah, that's such a great question. So what happened is my termite house fell down around my ears and I got told in New Zealand like, hey, you know your chronic this is going to be the pattern of your adult years. You're going to have times of doing doing okay and you're gonna have times where you're going to be struggling again. And I said, I said, well, if that's the life you're forecasting for me, then I don't want to live

it because it's not living. It was existing. And so I searched online for support worldwide because I was like, there has to be something somewhere. I just had this thing inside of me I think that always held onto a glimmer of hope even when it felt hopeless. And I found this treatment center in America that talked about being fully recovered, and I was like, well, that's nice for them, but maybe I can just get a little

bit better, you know. And I called them up, and the lady on the phone I'll always remember her and she said, Christie said, I don't care how long you've had meeting disorder. I don't care how many times you've tried to recover. I don't care how sick you've been.

We absolutely believe everyone can recover. And it just it was so foreign, but it out I was so drawn to that concept, and long story short, I ended up going to America for eating disorder treatment and it was just a different world like I was so used to Australia in New Zealand, which blessed their heart. I think they're doing the very best they can with what they know and what they have available. And America has something that's so different. And for me, what was different was

it was a home. It wasn't a hospital. A portion of the staff had had eating disorders and had recovered every single day. It was like life in recovery. I wasn't sitting in a room just being given food and that that was the goal. It was like, no, we're going to teach you how to recover. We're going to go out to restaurants. We're going to go grocery shopping, We're going to go to the beach, we're going to go to the movies. It was living life in recovery

and negotiating all of that. And so when I left treatment and I started to go back out in the world, I was like, you know what, this just has to come out to the world and I want to teach. I want to do eating disort of treatment differently of people, and I want to take a piece of that. And so I started to do that myself and helping others.

And so what are the ways that you do that because I mean that is I have goose bumps thinking that getting into or finding a treatment center that believed in you and your recovery and that it was possible and you having that hope and then going there and then yeah, it's not like you leave right away and it's like oh a magic wand was waved and suddenly you're recovered. But it changed the trajectory of your life. You now felt this calling of like, I can help others.

So what is it that you've developed since you left where you were? And um in you're you're helping others out in the world. And I think that's such an important thing to know. Like so often people say to me, well, it's like you left and you just recovered, and I'm like, I didn't. I left and I struggled and life happened and I had to navigate life into the world. So I want to say there was one hund It wasn't like I left treatment recovered. I left treatment with hope.

I left treatment knowing what I had to do. I left treatment with with to be recovered, Like I knew it and I wanted it. It was like a like an athlete going for a goal and I was like, this is what I want. You know, it took a couple of years after I left treatment to be recovered, but what happened is I went back to working in the outdoors, which was fantastic to have a different relationship with food and a different relationship with exercise, and a

different relationship with my body. You know. I was back being in the outdoors because I loved it, not because I felt like I had to punish myself. And that was really important to me. And I actually had an experience where I fell off a cliff. So I was out in the bush and I fell off a cliff and I damaged my feet and it actually ended my outdoor career. And I was like devastated, and it was like what can I do? And I was like, well,

I can eat food and I'm good with people. And I actually already had a therapy degree, which I just wasn't using because I liked the outdoors. And so I decided to go back into therapy and specialize in eating disorders.

And I wanted to do more than just traditional talk therapy, and so I came up with this concept of for me going from residential treatment and going back home that was hard, and it was hard because I came back to New Zealand to a country that didn't understand the process I've been through too, and I think when we recover, we recover into a disordered world. There's so much out there that's in restaurants, it's in family structures, it's in beliefs,

it's in gym. So I thought, you know, for people that either can't go to treatment because of whatever reason, maybe they've got four kids and they're a single mom, Maybe they can't afford it, maybe it's not in their country, I was like, what if I kind of brought treatment to people? And so I came up with this concept of livings where I would go and live with people in their home, and that could be once they left treatment,

or it could because they could never go. And so I kind of I was like, I don't even know if people would want to do that, but I would have really liked that for myself. And I you know, went on a woman a prayer to America because that was where my I guess, my my chosen family was my my recovery family, my community, and it just took off.

Within a couple of months. I had a year long wait list, and I think I went to seven or eight different kind trees all around the world, living with people in their homes, and I just had the most humbling, beautiful experiences where I got to live with people and help them change not just within themselves, but look at

their environment. And it's like, no, no, when when you go to the grocery store, you don't park three blocks away, you park in the parking lot, you know, and little things like that that I think never get addressed in treatment because you can't. And just working with the family

as a whole. It was such such a gift. And then the second kind of thread that I started was also online because I was starting to get reach outs from people in Israel, people in Scotland, people in Denmark, and I was like wow, and so I started this online piece. I like to say that I started online

therapy before COVID did. They got people just wanting support, people who couldn't get the support in their own countries, and people that wanted to work with someone that had recovered, people that wanted someone that believed in them, and so very quickly that got really busy as well. And so I really like to have hold those two threads of having to live in support and also having the online piece. Where can people access the online piece? Yeah, absolutely through

the website, so recovered living dot com. Um. So now I'm back in New Zealand. Um. I've also got five other coaches that worked for me in America. They all fully recovered. They're all fantastic. I love them all, and yeah, they've We've got clients from all over the world, which is fantastic to me. We're on zoom so I can see Christie's face and it's it is pure joy bouncing

back off the computer to me. Because like when you said, but you love the other people working with you like you, I could tell that was very, very sincere and probably the excitement you'll feel coming together collectively all if you've got five and then including you, is that six. So think of the amount of people y'all are able to

reach coming together for that. I just I think it's amazing because a lot of people are familiar with recovery from alcoholism at times and when people have inner treatment. I have people in my life that have come out

of that. I never went to any residential treatment for my eating disorder, but I am familiar with addiction to alcohol, and you come out of that and you instantly have all of the support and there's a a meetings and you have a sponsor, and you have like it is a rigorous routine because it's again an alcohol is something that can be all around you, but you have your different things that you have to do to stay the course.

And I feel like, similarly, food can be an addiction, but we also need food to survive, right, So then there's this's this very difficult dynamic because you can never touch alcohol again and that's the goal. But food you have to touch every single day. And even in your TED talk, it's like it should be the first thing you do every single day, And when you were doing your livings with people, it's like, Nope, you wake up,

you eat breakfast. That's just what you do. Don't put off the food, don't start the restriction, don't get busy, don't make food the last thing on your list, because the minute you start to implement that, you'll start to see the change. But I'm kind of rambling here now, and I just feel like what you're doing with the livings and the online and giving people that support, the tangible support, the change, the ongoing because it is ongoing.

I have been what I would call quote unquote in recovery for two years, but I still put myself to work every single day to combat different thoughts or old behaviors, or when I met with other things from society, I

have to shut it down, change the channel. Just I know some people are new and they might be listening to this episode because they're curious to try to figure out and I just wanted to share a little bit about like some recovery comparison to other things you might be familiar with, at least that I feel like I've talked about more like alcoholism and a a that's integrated into movies and storylines and different things. And we're starting

to see eating disorders show up. But the more people share and get vulnerable and talk about things than the more quote unquote normal, it will seem absolutely And I think you touched on such an important piece there, because it's like, you know, if you struggle with substances, it's like,

don't take the substances, like that's that's your remedy. But I think for someone with an eating disorder, you have to eat every single day, and so it's a different type of recovery because you really have to heal your relationship with food. You don't have to abstain from food, you have to heal your relationship with it. And one

of my favorite quotes, it's about a tiger. And I think, you know, for someone that's in recovery, they go and pat the tiger every single day in the cage or they take it for a walk when you're in recovery. But when you're recovered, I like to say, there just is no tiger. Like I have a completely different relationship with food in my body today and I don't feel

like like I don't have to struggle anymore. I just eat food and I live in my body and I love my life and it's the greatest gift I can have. And I know, and I know when I was in my eating disorder, that just felt so impossible. It just felt like way too much of a bridge. But I want to say to anybody listening, you may not believe

that you can recover until you're actually there. Like it's okay to doubt yourself and go forward anyway, you know, And I think that's the truth is you just you just have to you just have to start and you have to dive in and take that tiger for a walk, and one day you'll go to get the tiger and

you'll be like, oh, it's not there anymore. You said that all you need to have, and this is something that I have in writing from you, All you need to have is the curiosity of what it would be like to not have and eating disorder in order to start your journey to recovery. Yes, like you just gave me goose bumps and there with my work. But like, I mean, that's so you don't even have to want

to recover. You know. I'm talking with clients right now that are like, I don't even know if I want to recover, And I'm like, that's okay, let's just be let's start with the curiosity. Do I even want that? Like, let's just start there. Talk about that one a little bit more like why would someone not want to recover? M hm? So many reasons. I mean for myself, Like I put my whole life savings on the line to go to America and I still thought it hard. I didn't.

I didn't turn up with a smile and a hug. I turned up like I am suspicious of everybody here, And for me, I didn't want to recover because my eating disorder was an identity, because it was my safety. I was like, who will I be without it? How will I cope? Will I be okay? I couldn't envisage a life without my eating disorder. And I think so many people they're not sure they want to give up that control because it's like, well, another thing that I like to say is I think people's ability to recover

is directly proportional to their ability to surrender. And so for me, I was all about the I'll recover ninety percent, but that ten percent I am hanging onto that, and I was huge about that, and it was like I just wanted to be safe. I wanted to keep an eye on myself. And the truth is that would have been a termite that I didn't e write a K and in ten years time I would have worken up with my house around my ears again. And that last ten percent was huge to say, I am surrendering to

my body set point. I'm surrendering to the fact that I don't actually have control of my shoe size in the same way that I don't have control of my body shape size, body composition, all of those pieces, and for me, that was the clincher on being recovered. When I can surrender into that and when I let go of that ten percent, everything else fell into place. Okay, you said set point, So define that for people, because

I think that's an important thing. So set point A disclaimer, I'm not a dietitian, but stet point is essentially, it's like our body has a genetic weight range, weight composition, weight size, shape that it wants to be. And you know, in the same way we have a shoe size or a face shape or an eye shape. We can control it if we want to our set point, but we'll

never be truly free. And I think that's the difference is because society is so constantly saying you can have a flat stomach, can have you know, thighs like this or shoulders like that? You can? But at what cost? That's exactly what the thought I had in my head. If you weren't going to say it, I was about to say, but at what cost? Yeah, when you think of all that you sacrifice when you're eating, disorder is

in control. I think of the relationships that suffered so much of my life was ruled well, in fact, the whole thing. When I was deep into it, everything was centered around my eating disorder. But it was all in my head. It's not like people knew. But like every thought, every relationship, every dinner out, every parties that I missed, celebrations that I didn't take part in, you know, amazing

food that my family cooked that I didn't eat. Nights I stayed home alone because I was too nervous to go out or felt gross in my body and just didn't even want to deal with it. So yeah, I think having a healthy perspective on what is your set point When you're in it, you're we're like, I don't

even know because I've been manipulating for years. But once you get there and you feel the joy and you're no longer consumed by all those thoughts, or you can walk past a mirror without having to turn and look and assess and judge yourself, it's just freedom. You know, it will sometimes could rear up, but when you have the tools, then you can bust them out from your back pocket and be like not today, not today, tigger. Absolutely. And also there's this piece I think like like two things.

One having grace, like I turned thirty seven, like a month ago, and I was like, I woke up the one morning I was like, huh, my body's squishy and than it used to be. And I was like, interesting, this must happen as you get older. And it was like there was no part of me that was like I had to change my food after exercise more. This isn't okay. There's this grace that my set point, my body composition and shape, my size, that's going to change

over time and that's okay. And I think that came with being recovered, and it came with time in the saddle. And I often say that, like I feel more recovered this year than I did last year, And that doesn't mean I wasn't recovered last year. It just means that I've got more time being human. And so I think too with you know, when I was in recovery, I was like, I don't want my body. I don't want my body at that set point. I don't want that. I don't see how I can be happy with that.

I don't see how I can live with that. And part of recovery for me was actually living in that, not lacking it, but doing it anyway. It's kind of that piece of I don't know if I can recover, but I'm going to give it a shot. And it's like, I don't think I can live in this body. Like there was so many times I would cry to my therapist, I don't think I can live in this body, and she was like, okay, but let's try. Let's let's just

give it a shot. And as I leaned further into recovery, and then as I recovered, I actually started to want the body that I had, And now I want the body that I have because this body means I can do all these amazing things, like this body with the lumps and the bumps and the whatever's that I didn't like before. This body means that I have relationships, and this body means that I get to travel, and this

body means that I wake up feeling well. And I actually want this body now, whereas when I was in recovery, I was like, Nope, I'll recover, but I want my eating just a lot of body. It doesn't work like that. And so I think the message that I really want to give is for me. When I recovered, I started to want the body that I had, and that was

a real changing point as well. Yeah, because we've been conditioned to, you know, by all the things, the media, society, different things, that this is what the body is supposed to look like, when really, uh, we should have had no no conditioning there whatsoever. No one should be telling us this is what we're striving for. But once you build those new neuro pathways and you start to fall in love with your body and yet then you just

don't even think about it. It's amazing what our brains are capable of when, like you said, you just start doing it. Just start doing it. It's not easy at all. But that's why even sometimes I do that with actual like food, I know, and the ted X talk you did, it talked about like unloading groceries for the first time and like all the things like even like I can't remember the exact food, but the eggs and the lettuce with the cookies, and you had pantry full of things

things and a fridge full of things. And you know, I'll still catch myself with the grocery store sometimes being like I'm not gonna get the cookies, and then I'm like, don't get the cookies. I'll hear some voice, don't get the cookies, and then you know what. I come right back and I'm like, you know what cookies are going in the basket now because brain don't challenge me. Now, I'm going to keep buying the freaking cookies until my brain knows that it's no big deal. If I want

the cookies, that get the cookies. If I don't want the cookies, I don't get the cookies. But I had, I had to build the new neuropathway. You do it until it's not hot, and then you just keep doing it because you want to write. Well, Christie, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today, and I encourage people to check out more at Recovered Living dot com and you can see all the amazing

work that Christie and her team are doing. But again the ted X talk is it's time to do eating disorder recovery differently and that you are Christie or your socials and all your stuff on Recovered living dot com. Yeah, we have Recovered Living dot com. We also have Recovered Living in z dot com, which I know in America is pren ounce m z UM and that's a residential eating dissert of treatment charity that I've started up in New Zealand where opening in October, so feel free to

check that out as well. So they recovered Living m Z dot com awesome, well, thank you so much. We appreciate you and all of your work. Thank you,